1
00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:37,271
Whoa, Alcatraz.
2
00:00:37,391 --> 00:00:40,155
Can't believe Michael Bay
spent a billion dollars
3
00:00:40,275 --> 00:00:42,076
of his own money to
build that for The Rock.
4
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,278
I can't believe you were able
to recite that entire movie
5
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,313
from memory on the plane ride.
6
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:47,848
You weren't trying to sleep, were you?
7
00:00:47,883 --> 00:00:49,450
I couldn't tell, 'cause you had
that mask thing over your eyes.
8
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:52,653
This may be the craziest
week of my entire life.
9
00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:55,356
I am six days away from the
start of the Unity concert.
10
00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:56,757
I am pregnant with triplets.
11
00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:58,225
I am trying to decide
12
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,494
if I should take a job that
will move me away from Pawnee,
13
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:01,829
and I am speaking
14
00:01:01,863 --> 00:01:03,898
at the National Parks
conference in San Francisco.
15
00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:05,399
It is gonna be so much fun.
16
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,334
Michelle Obama is the keynote speaker,
17
00:01:07,369 --> 00:01:08,769
and you know what they say,
18
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:12,239
"What happens at a
national parks conference...
19
00:01:12,274 --> 00:01:16,510
Is compiled and emailed to you
in a PDF the following Monday."
20
00:01:16,545 --> 00:01:18,679
We got to find a way to break in there.
21
00:01:18,713 --> 00:01:19,780
They give tours.
22
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:21,348
Yeah.
23
00:01:21,383 --> 00:01:24,451
That's exactly how they'll be
expecting me to try to break in.
24
00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:37,359
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:44,306 --> 00:01:46,807
My restaurant opens in six weeks,
26
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:48,843
and I'm making sure I
get every detail right.
27
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:53,481
This is the hardest I've
worked on anything since...
28
00:01:53,515 --> 00:01:55,716
Wow. I've never worked hard on anything.
29
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,318
What a cool life!
30
00:01:57,352 --> 00:01:59,887
Looks like everything's on track for July.
31
00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:01,655
It's just too bad we're not opening
32
00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,090
in time for this Unity concert.
33
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:06,227
The extra publicity would've
given us a nice boost.
34
00:02:06,261 --> 00:02:08,829
Why don't we? We could
do a soft opening tomorrow
35
00:02:08,864 --> 00:02:11,365
and be ready just in time
for the concert crowd.
36
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,167
You really think you can pull that off?
37
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,369
Well, nobody can predict the future...
38
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,204
except me. I guarantee it'll work
39
00:02:17,239 --> 00:02:19,740
and in six months, this place
will be bigger than McDonald's.
40
00:02:19,774 --> 00:02:22,710
As always, I love your enthusiasm.
41
00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:24,945
See you tomorrow, partner.
42
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,914
A soft opening tomorrow?
43
00:02:26,948 --> 00:02:29,116
From now on, everyone call me Kristin,
44
00:02:29,151 --> 00:02:30,851
because I am wigging out right now!
45
00:02:30,886 --> 00:02:33,120
Yeah, we're not even close to being ready.
46
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,455
They're not even done painting that sign.
47
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,323
It says, "Tom's Bi."
48
00:02:36,358 --> 00:02:38,559
Actually, no, that's good. We're ready.
49
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,194
Mitch is right. The amount of buzz we get
50
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,363
from opening next weekend
is too big to pass up.
51
00:02:42,397 --> 00:02:43,664
We can do it.
52
00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:45,032
"This little Italian restaurant
53
00:02:45,066 --> 00:02:46,434
will put McDonald's out
of business" on three.
54
00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,002
One, two, three.
55
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,503
- Dark Lord rise...
- This little Italian restaurant
56
00:02:49,538 --> 00:02:51,805
- will be bigger than McDonald's!
- In hell fire.
57
00:02:54,109 --> 00:02:58,245
"Lester Kanopf"? Come
on, guys, get it together.
58
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,513
That's mine.
59
00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:02,683
- Sorry, Lester.
- Yours is right here.
60
00:03:02,717 --> 00:03:04,718
Grant, hi.
61
00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:06,253
Yeah, I saw you were gonna be here,
62
00:03:06,288 --> 00:03:07,988
and since you've been ducking my calls,
63
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:09,223
I just thought that I'd drop in.
64
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,358
- Care to join me for lunch?
- I... I would...
65
00:03:11,393 --> 00:03:12,993
Liam Bonneville's gonna be there.
66
00:03:13,028 --> 00:03:14,929
Liam Bonneville...
67
00:03:14,963 --> 00:03:17,131
the department of the
interior's resident bad boy?
68
00:03:17,165 --> 00:03:18,732
Well, now you've got my attention.
69
00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:21,001
Let me go grab my autograph
book, and we'll head out.
70
00:03:21,036 --> 00:03:24,038
Andy and I are meeting with a
tech company called "Gryzzl."
71
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:26,107
Now, they're giving away free wi-fi
72
00:03:26,141 --> 00:03:27,575
to a few cities across America,
73
00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,443
and we're going to pitch Pawnee to them.
74
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,178
And what exactly does Gryzzl do?
75
00:03:31,213 --> 00:03:35,216
Well, "It's the cloud for your cloud."
76
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,484
No idea.
77
00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:39,186
Wow. So Gryzzl's really taken off, huh?
78
00:03:39,221 --> 00:03:40,855
Uh, yeah, it's been a crazy ride.
79
00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:42,756
Our music service, Gryzzldump,
launched in November,
80
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:44,925
and now we have 170 million users.
81
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,661
Six months ago, I was
working in a taco truck.
82
00:03:47,696 --> 00:03:51,599
Now I own one-third of
the Portland trail blazers.
83
00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:54,368
You know, I think Pawnee
is a great candidate
84
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,770
for your free-wireless initiative.
85
00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:58,472
We lead the country in
online pizza ordering.
86
00:03:58,507 --> 00:04:00,674
In fact, a lot of people go to the library
87
00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:02,409
just to order pizza online.
88
00:04:02,444 --> 00:04:05,379
Right now we're kind of
focused on, like, bigger cities,
89
00:04:05,414 --> 00:04:07,214
like Shreveport, Akron.
90
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,049
Sure. Obviously, we're no Akron.
91
00:04:09,084 --> 00:04:10,417
I mean, we're more like Dayton.
92
00:04:10,452 --> 00:04:14,422
But with your help, we can become Toledo.
93
00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:18,359
Ben, we don't like to say the word "no"...
94
00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,294
- No.
- At this company.
95
00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:23,764
We feel it's counterproductive
to our creative mission,
96
00:04:23,799 --> 00:04:27,234
so, instead, let me say...
97
00:04:27,269 --> 00:04:28,502
"Nah, bro."
98
00:04:28,537 --> 00:04:30,404
How is that better?
99
00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:32,907
Dwayne "the Rock" Swanson.
100
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:34,308
Donna told me I'd find you up here.
101
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,343
- What's all this?
- Over the last few months,
102
00:04:36,378 --> 00:04:38,746
I've remodeled the entire third floor...
103
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,514
wiring, heating and cooling,
104
00:04:40,549 --> 00:04:43,451
restored this red pine
back to its original glory.
105
00:04:43,485 --> 00:04:46,086
Oh, wow. The stripes are so wavy.
106
00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:47,354
It's really...
107
00:04:47,389 --> 00:04:49,023
all right, I can't keep
this facade up any longer.
108
00:04:49,057 --> 00:04:50,391
I need a favor. You know those chairs
109
00:04:50,425 --> 00:04:51,625
you were making for my restaurant?
110
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:54,728
- I need 'em now.
- I was told I had until July.
111
00:04:54,763 --> 00:04:56,530
My chairs take time.
112
00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:58,466
Who do you think I am, Thomas Hucker?
113
00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:01,569
Please, Ron?
114
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:03,404
I've never asked you for anything today.
115
00:05:03,438 --> 00:05:05,473
All right. I'll get to work right away.
116
00:05:05,507 --> 00:05:07,875
Please, you're really far behind.
117
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:10,878
Hello, everybody. This is Leslie Knope.
118
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:13,614
- Leslie, this is Rebecca...
- Varuvian, yes, hello.
119
00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,549
I ow who you are. I've
read all of your papers
120
00:05:15,584 --> 00:05:18,185
and I had your poster on
my wall when I was a kid.
121
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,421
- What poster?
- I made a poster of you
122
00:05:20,455 --> 00:05:23,124
by blowing up your picture from
the national parks newsletter.
123
00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:24,725
I cut out your face and made it look
124
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,440
like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.
125
00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:29,196
- My God.
- So you're the author
126
00:05:29,231 --> 00:05:31,732
of the famous river cleanup proposal, huh?
127
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,701
It wasn't bad.
128
00:05:33,735 --> 00:05:35,736
Liam Bonneville read my proposal. Wow.
129
00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:38,205
Liam's being withholding, as usual.
130
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,441
That proposal was brilliantly written.
131
00:05:40,475 --> 00:05:42,109
Rebecca Varuvian.
132
00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,878
- Yes?
- Nothing.
133
00:05:43,912 --> 00:05:46,881
That was the best lunch I ever had.
134
00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:48,916
I have to see the photos that you took.
135
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:51,852
- I didn't take any photos.
- What? Grant, come on.
136
00:05:51,887 --> 00:05:54,407
Leslie, you're treating those
people like they're your heroes.
137
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:55,489
They could be your peers.
138
00:05:55,524 --> 00:05:57,191
Look, I really hope you take the job,
139
00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:58,559
but we're at the end of the line here.
140
00:05:58,593 --> 00:06:01,562
- I need a decision by tomorrow.
- Okay, that's fair.
141
00:06:01,596 --> 00:06:04,165
I mean, I would be insane
not to take the job,
142
00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:07,401
but I'm just having some trouble
thinking about leaving Pawnee.
143
00:06:07,436 --> 00:06:09,503
Hey, here's someone who
may be able to convince you.
144
00:06:09,538 --> 00:06:11,105
Hello, Mrs. Obama.
145
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,706
- Hey, Grant. How you doing?
- Oh.
146
00:06:12,741 --> 00:06:14,508
Doing good.
147
00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:15,876
This is Leslie Knope.
148
00:06:15,911 --> 00:06:17,044
She's considering a job with us
149
00:06:17,079 --> 00:06:18,946
running the new Midwest Bureau in Chicago.
150
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:21,148
Well, you know how I feel about Chicago.
151
00:06:21,183 --> 00:06:23,150
Ah, you are from Chicago, so you like it!
152
00:06:23,185 --> 00:06:26,287
That's right, and we need
passionate people like you
153
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,721
on our national parks.
154
00:06:27,756 --> 00:06:30,658
You know, they get hundreds of
millions of visitors each year.
155
00:06:30,692 --> 00:06:32,727
Are you nodding because you agree with me?
156
00:06:32,761 --> 00:06:34,195
Yes, I do agree with you.
157
00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:35,796
I agree with you on all things
158
00:06:35,831 --> 00:06:38,499
throughout history until
the end of time, forever.
159
00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:40,868
- You and Grant work together?
- Yeah, we work together a lot.
160
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:43,037
He's helped me integrate
the "Let's Move" program
161
00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:44,338
into our national parks...
162
00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:47,608
you know, getting kids
outside, rock climbing, hiking.
163
00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:49,543
Wow! That's really, really
incredible! Great work!
164
00:06:49,578 --> 00:06:51,011
I'm sorry I'm talking so loud!
165
00:06:51,013 --> 00:06:53,047
I'm getting louder now, and
I can't stop! My apologies!
166
00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:56,016
Just... I don't know. I'm
sorry I'm talking so loud!
167
00:06:56,051 --> 00:06:58,719
- Just... can I high-five you?
- Yeah. Well...
168
00:06:58,754 --> 00:07:00,054
I hope you take the job.
169
00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:03,958
Change happens one person at a time.
170
00:07:03,992 --> 00:07:06,494
Good to meet you.
171
00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:11,632
Again, think it over.
172
00:07:20,742 --> 00:07:23,735
- Okay, this is a bad idea.
- Just trust me.
173
00:07:23,855 --> 00:07:25,055
You got your camera ready?
174
00:07:25,089 --> 00:07:27,190
Yeah, Andy, I'm very nervous about this.
175
00:07:27,225 --> 00:07:29,292
You're gonna hurt yourself.
176
00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:30,660
And here we go.
177
00:07:34,766 --> 00:07:36,933
Wow! Look at it go!
178
00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:38,935
I mean, I knew it'd go
down, but not that fast!
179
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,171
Oh-ho! San Francisco's the best.
180
00:07:42,774 --> 00:07:43,874
Huh.
181
00:07:43,908 --> 00:07:45,575
I thought he was go.
182
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:47,644
Yeah. Anyway...
183
00:07:47,678 --> 00:07:49,579
I've decided. I'm gonna take the job.
184
00:07:49,614 --> 00:07:52,182
There's so much more
in the world to see,
185
00:07:52,216 --> 00:07:53,950
and I feel like I can
really make a difference.
186
00:07:53,985 --> 00:07:55,285
Oh, and I met Michelle Obama.
187
00:07:55,319 --> 00:07:57,824
What? Why didn't you lead with that?
188
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,746
I don't know! Liam
Boneville has me in a tizzy.
189
00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:03,627
Guys! It's totally broken!
190
00:08:03,661 --> 00:08:05,996
We have ten tables booked
for the soft opening.
191
00:08:06,030 --> 00:08:07,151
It's all friends and family,
192
00:08:07,165 --> 00:08:08,598
so hopefully they'll go easy on us.
193
00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,600
How's it looking, Ron?
Maybe speed it up a little?
194
00:08:10,635 --> 00:08:12,202
This is not government work.
195
00:08:12,236 --> 00:08:14,604
As such, I treat it
with care and attention.
196
00:08:14,639 --> 00:08:16,773
Okay, but also, go faster.
197
00:08:16,808 --> 00:08:18,475
I haven't had time to hire a staff yet,
198
00:08:18,509 --> 00:08:20,844
so, April, you'll handle service.
199
00:08:20,878 --> 00:08:22,679
No! Can't I just stay in the back
200
00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:24,881
and spit in people's food like we planned?
201
00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:26,583
Ugh!
202
00:08:26,617 --> 00:08:28,685
The sawdust from Ron's
chairs is everywhere!
203
00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:29,986
My sinuses are on the Fritz,
204
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:32,722
and smell is 90% of taste, maybe 95%!
205
00:08:32,757 --> 00:08:35,492
Okay, Craig, Donna's
gonna be your wine taster.
206
00:08:35,526 --> 00:08:36,693
You guys will work as a team.
207
00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:39,162
Fine, but if he raises his voice once...
208
00:08:39,197 --> 00:08:40,931
once... I'm out.
209
00:08:40,965 --> 00:08:42,599
Please don't stick to that policy.
210
00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:44,134
- I got the menus.
- Great.
211
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,471
Larry, what the hell?
What are these pictures?
212
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:49,606
Aw, jeez, I must have given the printer
213
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:50,774
the wrong flash drive.
214
00:08:50,808 --> 00:08:52,843
What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
215
00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:55,312
No, it's my dog's rectum.
216
00:08:55,346 --> 00:08:56,446
Lord Sheldon has a growth,
217
00:08:56,481 --> 00:08:58,615
so we're sending pictures over to the vet.
218
00:08:58,649 --> 00:09:00,217
But I guess this isn't
good for menus, is it?
219
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:03,854
Larry, Larry, Larry, listen to me.
220
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:07,257
This is the worst thing you've ever done.
221
00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:10,227
I need you to take all
of these dog-butt pictures
222
00:09:10,261 --> 00:09:11,395
and burn them in the pizza oven.
223
00:09:11,429 --> 00:09:14,030
April, you list all the
menu items from memory.
224
00:09:14,065 --> 00:09:15,565
It'll be classier anyway.
225
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,300
Ron! What was wrong with that one?
226
00:09:17,335 --> 00:09:20,270
It was too perfect.
It looked machine-made.
227
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:24,641
Okay, we have to convince 'em
that Pawnee is a special city.
228
00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:26,710
Ooh, we could tell 'em
that there's buried treasure
229
00:09:26,744 --> 00:09:28,945
in Pawnee.
230
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,814
And then after they
give us the free wi-fi,
231
00:09:30,848 --> 00:09:33,049
we tell 'em that the
treasure was love all along.
232
00:09:33,084 --> 00:09:34,084
No.
233
00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:35,886
I am not gonna take "no" for an answer.
234
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,154
If we're leaving Pawnee,
235
00:09:37,188 --> 00:09:38,822
I'm gonna give 'em a going-away present...
236
00:09:38,856 --> 00:09:41,091
free wi-fi for all.
237
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:44,027
Every time someone in Pawnee
clicks through a slideshow
238
00:09:44,062 --> 00:09:46,797
of American music award
red-carpet side-boob fails,
239
00:09:46,831 --> 00:09:50,700
they'll say, "Thank you, Ben Wyatt."
240
00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:53,370
What the hell?
241
00:09:53,404 --> 00:09:55,338
They're playing Cones of Dunshire.
242
00:09:55,373 --> 00:09:57,040
Hey, you invented that game.
243
00:09:57,075 --> 00:09:59,142
Are they playing any games I invented?
244
00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:00,577
Are they throwing dirt into a fan?
245
00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:01,878
The key is, you have to throw the dirt
246
00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:03,714
- into the back of the fan.
- How the hell did they...
247
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:07,651
Excuse me. How did you guys
get your hands on this game?
248
00:10:07,685 --> 00:10:09,720
Someone sent it to us. Have you played it?
249
00:10:09,754 --> 00:10:11,455
I invented Cones of Dunshire.
250
00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:12,823
You're the architect.
251
00:10:12,857 --> 00:10:15,592
Yeah, right, and I'm the
Alchemist of the Hinterlands.
252
00:10:17,729 --> 00:10:19,329
There can't be an Alchemist
of the Hinterlands.
253
00:10:19,363 --> 00:10:20,731
The Hinterlands is a Shadongdom
254
00:10:20,765 --> 00:10:23,333
that can only sustain
a provost or a denier.
255
00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:26,136
- He's right.
- Hey, how about this?
256
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,237
Let's play.
257
00:10:27,271 --> 00:10:29,206
If I win, you give me another shot
258
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,774
at free wireless for Pawnee.
259
00:10:30,808 --> 00:10:34,011
Have a seat. You want to be corporal...
260
00:10:34,045 --> 00:10:37,247
- or warrior?
- Neither.
261
00:10:37,281 --> 00:10:40,183
I'm the Maverick.
262
00:10:40,218 --> 00:10:43,553
By using the Leslie Knope
seamless merger supesystem...
263
00:10:43,588 --> 00:10:45,856
patent pending... Pawnee and Eagleton
264
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:48,658
and their parks departments
will be fully integrated
265
00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:50,994
within the next 6 to 12 months.
266
00:10:51,029 --> 00:10:52,629
I know, I know.
267
00:10:52,663 --> 00:10:54,398
I think it was a good presentation too.
268
00:10:54,432 --> 00:10:55,465
Is that why you're laughing?
269
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,100
Your timeline is way off.
270
00:10:57,135 --> 00:11:01,471
I was in charge of the
Wesham/Southborough merger of 2004.
271
00:11:01,506 --> 00:11:04,341
You know when it was completed? Last month.
272
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:05,809
What? How is that possible?
273
00:11:05,843 --> 00:11:09,246
Merging governments requires
constant hands-on management.
274
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,315
You're being very cavalier
about the future of your town.
275
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:14,230
Excuse me. I've been
accused of lot of things,
276
00:11:14,252 --> 00:11:15,852
but cavalier has never been one of them.
277
00:11:15,887 --> 00:11:17,821
I have a super system.
278
00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:21,758
I had a system too, but
the economy went South.
279
00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:25,128
My hometown hit some hard times
280
00:11:25,163 --> 00:11:29,399
and was converted into
unincorporated territory.
281
00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:31,168
You lost your cityhood?
282
00:11:31,202 --> 00:11:32,469
If you want to see this through,
283
00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:34,871
you need eight to ten years minimum,
284
00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:37,507
unless you want to run the
risk of Pawnee becoming...
285
00:11:37,542 --> 00:11:41,678
- Don't say it.
- Unincorporated territory.
286
00:11:44,015 --> 00:11:47,384
It's a bold flavor...
fruity, a little earthy.
287
00:11:47,418 --> 00:11:49,219
Well, which is it... fruity or earthy?
288
00:11:49,253 --> 00:11:51,722
It can't be both. They're
mutually exclusive!
289
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:54,291
Oh, no! You do not come at me like that.
290
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,193
I'm sorry. I don't know who I am anymore.
291
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:58,095
A man without a palate isn't a man.
292
00:11:58,129 --> 00:11:59,763
I love you, Donna.
293
00:11:59,797 --> 00:12:01,164
What are you guys doing?
294
00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:02,933
There's people waiting out there!
295
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,407
We're having a moment, you monster!
296
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:06,236
Ugh!
297
00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:08,605
- Stop hassling me.
- Ron, you're amazing.
298
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,973
You've always been like a grandpa to me,
299
00:12:10,007 --> 00:12:12,809
but can you please lower
your standards a tiny bit
300
00:12:12,844 --> 00:12:15,846
so my customers have somewhere to sit?
301
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,347
No.
302
00:12:17,382 --> 00:12:19,283
Oh!
303
00:12:19,317 --> 00:12:20,917
I am so sorry, Tom.
304
00:12:20,952 --> 00:12:22,119
I can't believe I'm saying this,
305
00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:23,186
but don't worry about it.
306
00:12:23,221 --> 00:12:24,554
Restaurant superstition...
307
00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:27,124
breaking a glass on the
first night is good luck.
308
00:12:27,158 --> 00:12:29,126
Oh, thank God.
309
00:12:33,331 --> 00:12:34,631
Oh, jeez.
310
00:12:38,503 --> 00:12:39,870
Play an action card,
311
00:12:39,904 --> 00:12:42,539
build a bell tower inside your citadel.
312
00:12:42,573 --> 00:12:46,276
My shaman casts a toyber
spell on your prosperity tile.
313
00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:49,646
Looks like someone's out of resource gems.
314
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,682
Uh-oh.
315
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:06,930
What's so funny?
316
00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:08,765
Oh, no, no, no, you're a smart guy,
317
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,301
clearly picked up some flashy tricks,
318
00:13:11,336 --> 00:13:13,236
but you made one crucial mistake.
319
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:17,107
You forgot about the essence of the game.
320
00:13:17,141 --> 00:13:19,643
It's about the Cones.
321
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:25,996
Move my abbot to the ocean hex,
322
00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:28,218
which moves my Brinksman
to the Devil's Lair,
323
00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:32,122
and pushes my farmer...
yes, my humble farmer...
324
00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:35,162
directly into the central cone.
325
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:43,149
Yeah, babe, we did it.
326
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,208
This whole company is ours.
327
00:13:45,328 --> 00:13:46,443
Oh, no, it's not.
328
00:13:46,563 --> 00:13:48,255
- That's mine, it's all mine.
- Andy...
329
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:51,259
for the record, I did invent this game.
330
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:53,864
But it doesn't even matter, because I won
331
00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:57,762
and I get another chance to prove that
there's something truly special about Pawnee.
332
00:13:57,882 --> 00:14:02,681
Yes, there is. It's the home
of the architect. Let's talk.
333
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,257
I'm on top of the world.
334
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,026
Andy, what are you doing?
335
00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:08,384
Seems like things are a little chaotic.
336
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:09,910
No, no, everything is perfect.
337
00:14:09,963 --> 00:14:11,831
This is April. She's gonna
be taking care of you tonight.
338
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,763
Hello, welcome to Tommy's Bistro.
339
00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:18,122
Today we have spaghetti, linguini,
butercini, ravioli, rigattoni, lasagna.
340
00:14:18,242 --> 00:14:19,323
Could you repeat that?
341
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:24,110
Spaghetti, linguini, butercini, ravioli,
Ferrari, Lamborghini, rigattoni, lasagna.
342
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:25,753
Can I see a menu?
343
00:14:25,873 --> 00:14:28,311
We had to throw our menus away because
344
00:14:28,431 --> 00:14:31,125
they are covered with
pictures of Larry's dog rectum.
345
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,902
Great news. Lord Sheldon's
gonna make it. Yeah,
346
00:14:34,022 --> 00:14:37,302
just have to apply a salve to his anus
every hour for the rest of his life, but...
347
00:14:37,881 --> 00:14:39,122
Oh, enjoy your meal.
348
00:14:39,242 --> 00:14:42,410
- For crying out loud!
- No, Mitch, don't leave. Come on.
349
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,807
You have no idea how to run a restaurant.
350
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:47,862
I've been in this game before and I
can see the cracks starting to form.
351
00:14:47,982 --> 00:14:52,366
Sorry, kid, consider my
investment terminated. D, let's go.
352
00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:56,341
- Sir, were you sitting in that chair?
- Yes, yes I was. Why?
353
00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:59,481
- No reason.
- Let's go!
354
00:15:02,962 --> 00:15:05,926
Apparently, and I don't know
how, but the game has spread.
355
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,507
I mean, it's all over the Internet...
356
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,475
Austin, Charlotte, San Diego.
357
00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:11,210
I mean, people are playing
with my Cones, babe.
358
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:12,412
That's great.
359
00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:14,947
I'm just bummed I never copyrighted it.
360
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,316
Oh, I'll look into that,
but at least because of it,
361
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,986
Pawnee will get free wireless,
and we can both move away
362
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,955
with a clear conscience.
363
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,024
Uh-oh. What's wrong?
364
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,528
I... I can't leave Pawnee
during a difficult merger
365
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,630
that I'm responsible for.
366
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,165
I have to turn down the job.
367
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:35,334
Leslie, no. You made
up your mind yesterday.
368
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,537
You... Michelle Obama.
369
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,405
I know, but I've been
doing this for months.
370
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,974
The only thing that I am 100% positive on
371
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,976
is that I want to stay and go.
372
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,945
I'm never gonna be able to decide.
373
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,647
I'm gonna be paralyzed by hypotheticals
374
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,916
until I die here, in this minivan...
375
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,984
at the San Francisco airport.
376
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,187
Wait a second. I have an idea.
377
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,791
Drive here.
378
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:01,527
So you screwed up a little.
379
00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:04,197
You tried to shoot the
moon, and you came up short.
380
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,165
That doesn't mean it's over.
381
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,167
My main investor pulled out.
382
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:10,837
Any dollar I spend from now on is my own.
383
00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:13,172
And despite what my pocket square says,
384
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:16,042
I'm not a billionaire.
385
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,378
So I quit.
386
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,645
Just go home, Ron.
387
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,681
I'm not done with the chairs yet.
388
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,250
It is my belief that you never start a job
389
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,652
you don't intend to finish.
390
00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:27,353
Really? I love quitting.
391
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,589
When I was a kid and
things didn't go my way,
392
00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,257
I would just take my ball and go home.
393
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,525
That's better than winning,
394
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,360
'cause then your friends
can't play anymore.
395
00:16:34,395 --> 00:16:35,461
Hey!
396
00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:38,064
- No, my stemware!
- You are not quitting.
397
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,866
I just called a bunch of reviewers,
398
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,902
and I told them that the
soft opening went great,
399
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,904
and I invited them to come here on Friday.
400
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,373
- Why would you do this to me?
- You worked really hard.
401
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,709
You owe it to yourself
to give it a real shot,
402
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:51,511
because you are smart and talented.
403
00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:55,481
Well, I hate doing work,
but I love being flattered,
404
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,017
so maybe I'll give it another try.
405
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,019
- Good.
- It's a smart move, son.
406
00:17:00,054 --> 00:17:02,355
- Thanks, Ron.
- Because you currently owe me
407
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,791
$16,000 for the wood.
408
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:06,092
What?
409
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:10,630
- Where are we going?
- Oh, it's right up here.
410
00:17:10,664 --> 00:17:13,933
Just trust me.
411
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,769
I'm on Endor.
412
00:17:16,804 --> 00:17:19,038
These are the redwoods George Lucas used
413
00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:21,541
to create the forest moon of Endor.
414
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,843
Sorry. That's not why we're here.
415
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,148
Well, that is a gorgeous view.
416
00:17:29,183 --> 00:17:31,784
Yes, it is.
417
00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:33,619
But don't look at that. Look at this.
418
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:37,123
You've been thinking about
this job in the abstract.
419
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:40,093
Focus on what it actually means.
420
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,862
We're standing in a national park
421
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,931
that stretches 50 miles.
422
00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:47,367
That's the Presidio over
there. It's a national park.
423
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:48,735
So is Alcatraz,
424
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:51,037
and so are the redwoods we
just walked through, by the way.
425
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,505
You take this job,
426
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:56,109
places like this will be your office.
427
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,910
Well, that is a compelling point.
428
00:17:57,945 --> 00:18:00,513
When we got back from London, you said...
429
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,783
that it's a very big world and
you've seen very little of it.
430
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,852
This is your chance, honey.
431
00:18:05,886 --> 00:18:09,956
This whole region... Mount
Rushmore, the Badlands,
432
00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:12,525
the Ozarks, Abe Lincoln's childhood home...
433
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,560
you would be in charge of all of it.
434
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,130
Your job would be to preserve
435
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,865
the most beautiful places on earth
436
00:18:18,899 --> 00:18:21,401
so millions of people could enjoy them.
437
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:25,905
And those places, the greatest
treasures America has to offer,
438
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:29,375
will all have signs with your name...
439
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:32,178
right there.
440
00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:38,017
Hi, Grant. I want the job.
441
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:40,086
I have a lot of questions,
442
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,454
but I'm a little amped up right now,
443
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,789
so I'll probably just hang up.
444
00:18:42,823 --> 00:18:44,924
It might be for the best.
But, anyway, I love you.
445
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,660
No, I don't. I'm sorry.
That was weird. Okay, bye.
446
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,296
Oh, this is Lester Kanopf.
No, you know who it...
447
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,632
- Okay, bye.
- Smoothly handled, Lester.
448
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,333
I panicked.
449
00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:57,670
We should go. We have
a lot of stuff to do...
450
00:18:57,705 --> 00:18:59,906
and the meter's still running
on that cab, so chop-chop.
451
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:00,907
- Really?
- Yeah.
452
00:19:01,546 --> 00:19:02,440
Oh.
453
00:19:04,438 --> 00:19:07,007
The opening of Tom's Bistro was a disaster.
454
00:19:07,453 --> 00:19:08,719
So what?
455
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:09,761
This is America.
456
00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:11,892
And America's the land of second chances,
457
00:19:12,177 --> 00:19:14,064
and now we have one night,
458
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:15,726
one after-party...
459
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,106
to make the world realize that Tom's Bistro
460
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,325
is where miracles can happen!
461
00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:25,332
Thomas, I have to work all
day at the Unity concert.
462
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:27,398
If you're gonna pull this
off, we need more people.
463
00:19:27,518 --> 00:19:30,168
I know, and I didn't want to do this,
but I called in some reinforcements.
464
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:33,274
Did someone call for a party zoo?
465
00:19:33,394 --> 00:19:34,170
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
466
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,570
All right, so we got a
four-way going with my ex,
467
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:37,949
my brother, and this rando?
468
00:19:38,069 --> 00:19:40,295
Okay, if that's where the night is going...
469
00:19:40,415 --> 00:19:42,051
- It's 9:00 in the morning...
- Wha...
470
00:19:42,052 --> 00:19:43,913
It's not a four-way.
471
00:19:44,084 --> 00:19:45,788
And I need your help.
472
00:19:46,134 --> 00:19:47,709
Take these V.I.P. invitations.
473
00:19:47,829 --> 00:19:49,659
Find all the "A" -list
peeps at the concert
474
00:19:49,779 --> 00:19:51,230
and get 'em to the restaurant tonight.
475
00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:52,885
I got to stop by the Parks office.
476
00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:54,261
I'll meet you later. Godspeed.
477
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,453
I like your energy, hombre.
478
00:19:56,573 --> 00:19:58,082
What do you say you and
I ride go-karts later?
479
00:19:58,202 --> 00:19:59,975
I want to go horseback riding!
480
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:01,468
Deal.
481
00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:04,375
Last chance, Ron.
482
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,044
The slots are finalized, but
I can squeeze in ten minutes
483
00:20:07,045 --> 00:20:08,107
if a certain mister...
484
00:20:08,485 --> 00:20:10,526
Duke Silver wanted to come out.
485
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,171
Come on, Ron, it's gonna be so fun.
486
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,492
Thank you, Andrew, but fun or not,
487
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,454
playing music is something
I like to keep private,
488
00:20:17,574 --> 00:20:19,692
along with my family, my conversations,
489
00:20:19,693 --> 00:20:21,573
and my whereabouts at all times.
490
00:20:22,078 --> 00:20:26,901
Okay, everyone, welcome to the very
last Unity concert planning meeting.
491
00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:29,691
Andy, you are in charge. This
is your show. Take it away.
492
00:20:30,115 --> 00:20:33,228
Your mission, should
you choose to accept it,
493
00:20:33,229 --> 00:20:36,455
is to accept the following missions.
494
00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:38,237
- Madison.
- Manning that art tents.
495
00:20:38,357 --> 00:20:40,573
- Donna.
- Scheduling... and security liaison.
496
00:20:40,693 --> 00:20:42,831
- Larry.
- Staying out of the way.
497
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,725
And all of the rest of the
volunteer-work assignments
498
00:20:44,845 --> 00:20:46,447
are up on this board.
499
00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:50,872
Your main goal today is to
get 2,000 people to sign up
500
00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:54,488
for the Pawnee-Eagleton
merger preservation
501
00:20:54,489 --> 00:20:56,749
volunteer action squad.
502
00:20:56,759 --> 00:20:58,900
Their first project will be to come up
503
00:20:58,901 --> 00:21:00,301
with a shorter name for the group.
504
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:04,421
You're right. The name is too
long. I was picturing bigger hats.
505
00:21:04,541 --> 00:21:07,388
- All right, here we go.
- Everybody, let's get to work.
506
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,144
Can the Parks and Rec people
hang back for a second?
507
00:21:12,876 --> 00:21:14,272
Um...
508
00:21:15,224 --> 00:21:20,034
The reason I wanted you guys to stick
around is, I wanted to tell you...
509
00:21:20,625 --> 00:21:23,920
- That I love and admire you.
- Oh! Leslie, thank you.
510
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,776
You say that every morning.
511
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:29,525
A while ago, I was offered a job
at the national parks service,
512
00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:33,274
and it's a great opportunity, but
it means that I'll have to move...
513
00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:34,513
to Illinois.
514
00:21:35,513 --> 00:21:36,998
And I took the job.
515
00:21:36,999 --> 00:21:38,361
- Good for you!
- Wow!
516
00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:40,976
- That's great!
- Congratulations, Knope.
517
00:21:41,096 --> 00:21:42,536
The sentimental people in this office
518
00:21:42,606 --> 00:21:43,802
will probably miss you.
519
00:21:43,922 --> 00:21:46,432
- When do you leave?
- Soon, maybe a month.
520
00:21:46,529 --> 00:21:49,331
Oh. That makes what we're about to show you
521
00:21:49,366 --> 00:21:51,300
a little bit awkward.
522
00:21:52,469 --> 00:21:54,536
We had a new founders
day statue commissioned
523
00:21:54,571 --> 00:21:57,006
and added your name to the
list of founders of Pawnee.
524
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,942
Because you basically
founded this new town.
525
00:21:59,976 --> 00:22:02,878
Leslie Knope, champion of
the Pawnee-Eagleton merger,
526
00:22:02,912 --> 00:22:04,313
"our most faithful citizen.
527
00:22:04,347 --> 00:22:06,115
She never abandoned us."
528
00:22:06,149 --> 00:22:08,217
- Oh, boy.
- There's a quote too.
529
00:22:08,251 --> 00:22:10,352
"'Only a moron would ever live anywhere
530
00:22:10,387 --> 00:22:11,687
other than Pawnee, Indiana.'
531
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,589
Leslie Knope, multiple occasions."
532
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,625
I can cut a new plinth with
a less ironic inscription.
533
00:22:16,659 --> 00:22:18,500
This is so touching, you guys.
534
00:22:18,528 --> 00:22:21,997
I am crying out of happiness
and sadness and gratitude
535
00:22:22,032 --> 00:22:23,465
and because I'm carrying triplets
536
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,367
and for a fifth reason
that I can't figure out.
537
00:22:25,402 --> 00:22:27,269
Leslie, don't cry. It's not that great.
538
00:22:27,303 --> 00:22:29,905
It doesn't even look like you.
Or, actually, you know what?
539
00:22:29,939 --> 00:22:31,974
It kind of does.
540
00:22:32,008 --> 00:22:33,942
Well, it's about that time.
541
00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:35,411
Unity concert!
542
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,386
Hello, Pawnee. We're The Decembrists.
543
00:22:47,590 --> 00:22:50,059
It's great to be here
in support of this event.
544
00:22:50,093 --> 00:22:51,860
This is truly an amazing town.
545
00:22:51,895 --> 00:22:56,532
I ordered a small cheeseburger,
and both the buns were pizzas.
546
00:23:06,643 --> 00:23:09,411
♪ each feather ♪
547
00:23:09,446 --> 00:23:12,281
♪ it fell from skin ♪
548
00:23:12,315 --> 00:23:13,649
Joanie baby,
549
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:15,643
I'm throwing a huge party
tonight at Tom's Bistro.
550
00:23:15,652 --> 00:23:17,753
- You gots to stop by.
- You gots to stop by.
551
00:23:17,787 --> 00:23:20,289
Will this medium drink of water be there?
552
00:23:20,323 --> 00:23:23,826
The only reason I wouldn't be
there is if I got pulled over...
553
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:28,330
♪ For violating my house arrest ♪
554
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,698
Ah-boosh!
555
00:23:29,733 --> 00:23:30,933
- What?
- Judge gave me
556
00:23:30,967 --> 00:23:32,301
two ankle bracelets,
557
00:23:32,335 --> 00:23:34,295
said it was the first time
he ever had to do that.
558
00:23:34,304 --> 00:23:37,206
Uh, jah boy's a question on the bar exam.
559
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,807
Yah-hey!
560
00:23:38,842 --> 00:23:42,678
Anyway, Tom's Bistro, tonight, be there.
561
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,549
Uh-oh. Okay.
562
00:23:47,584 --> 00:23:49,018
Don't... just let me talk...
563
00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:51,253
Well, the relocation package seems fair,
564
00:23:51,288 --> 00:23:54,089
but the dental plan is more than fair.
565
00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:56,725
I mean, three annual cleanings
for the spouse? Ka-ching.
566
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,193
Hey, did someone say "dental plan"?
567
00:23:58,228 --> 00:23:59,295
How's it going?
568
00:23:59,329 --> 00:24:01,997
Councilman Jeremy Jamm, Jamm orthodontics.
569
00:24:02,032 --> 00:24:03,565
Hey, uh, I think we can all agree
570
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,967
this concert blows, right?
571
00:24:05,001 --> 00:24:06,435
You guys really want to see a crowd,
572
00:24:06,469 --> 00:24:09,471
you might want to stop by my
secession rally later tonight.
573
00:24:09,506 --> 00:24:11,607
That is gonna be off the hook!
574
00:24:11,641 --> 00:24:13,409
- You ever heard of warrant?
- Yeah.
575
00:24:13,443 --> 00:24:14,677
There's a cover band around here...
576
00:24:14,711 --> 00:24:16,111
they call themselves "Cherry Pie."
577
00:24:16,146 --> 00:24:17,746
Pretty sure we got their bass player.
578
00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:19,548
- Oh, wow.
- Gonna be pretty good.
579
00:24:19,582 --> 00:24:23,352
♪ Dah-nah-nah, rock
and roll, yeah, poison ♪
580
00:24:23,386 --> 00:24:24,620
What is that?
581
00:24:24,654 --> 00:24:26,294
Just general rock, man. It's gonna be fun.
582
00:24:26,323 --> 00:24:29,525
♪ She's my cherry pie,
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
583
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:32,061
- that guy was a councilman?
- Crazy, right?
584
00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,629
Okay, uh, let's talk staff.
585
00:24:33,663 --> 00:24:35,230
For the first few months,
586
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:36,799
you're only gonna have six staffers.
587
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:38,534
Four of them will be coming up from Omaha.
588
00:24:38,568 --> 00:24:41,036
Oh, so does that mean that
there's two openings left?
589
00:24:41,071 --> 00:24:42,738
- Yeah.
- Because I happen to know
590
00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:45,140
some of the most dedicated civil servants
591
00:24:45,175 --> 00:24:47,309
and greatest people to
ever walk the planet earth.
592
00:24:47,344 --> 00:24:49,745
You can hire whoever you like.
593
00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:53,549
♪ I will hang my head ♪
594
00:24:53,583 --> 00:24:55,451
♪ hang my head ♪
595
00:24:55,485 --> 00:24:59,955
♪ low, low, low ♪
596
00:25:07,998 --> 00:25:12,334
Ginuwine, it is an honor to be
breathing the same air as you.
597
00:25:12,369 --> 00:25:13,535
No joke.
598
00:25:13,570 --> 00:25:16,171
But real talk... we're both men about town
599
00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:18,908
being constantly bombarded
with party invitations.
600
00:25:18,942 --> 00:25:20,376
Who is this guy?
601
00:25:20,410 --> 00:25:22,011
My friend who's opening
a restaurant tonight,
602
00:25:22,045 --> 00:25:23,445
and you're going to be there, cousin,
603
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,947
unless you want me to get onstage
604
00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:26,815
and talk about how we used
to take baths together,
605
00:25:26,850 --> 00:25:29,752
how you cried whenever I
took away your rubber duckies.
606
00:25:29,786 --> 00:25:31,253
Damn, Donna.
607
00:25:31,288 --> 00:25:34,089
Why you got to bring
the Quackson 5 into this?
608
00:25:34,124 --> 00:25:36,792
How y'all doing?
609
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:39,228
Li'l Sebastian, this one is for you,
610
00:25:39,262 --> 00:25:43,699
because you're my pony.
611
00:25:48,481 --> 00:25:50,383
♪ I'm just a bachelor ♪
612
00:25:50,584 --> 00:25:53,346
♪ I'm looking for a partner ♪
613
00:25:53,847 --> 00:25:57,494
♪ someone who knows how to ride ♪
614
00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,352
Ron, I have to ask you something,
615
00:26:00,353 --> 00:26:02,025
and I want you to consider it, okay?
616
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:03,156
Really consider it.
617
00:26:03,530 --> 00:26:07,812
How would you feel about leaving
Pawnee and moving to Chicago?
618
00:26:07,932 --> 00:26:09,537
Hold on, come on, I'm not done.
619
00:26:09,848 --> 00:26:11,511
You'd be working for
the federal government.
620
00:26:11,824 --> 00:26:14,430
You know what, excuse me
621
00:26:14,431 --> 00:26:16,150
for wanting my dear
friend and ethical mentor
622
00:26:16,151 --> 00:26:18,133
to accompany me on the
adventure of a lifetime.
623
00:26:18,219 --> 00:26:19,906
It's very sweet, Leslie,
624
00:26:20,026 --> 00:26:24,422
and the national parks service is probably
the only branch of government worth a damn,
625
00:26:24,868 --> 00:26:28,214
but Diane and I are quite
happy raising our family here.
626
00:26:28,514 --> 00:26:30,446
Now, if you'll excuse me,
there's a booth over there
627
00:26:30,447 --> 00:26:33,210
serving something called,
"fried sausage quilts,"
628
00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:35,806
so I'm going to buy the booth.
629
00:26:37,308 --> 00:26:40,808
♪ Just once if I had the chance ♪
630
00:26:41,474 --> 00:26:45,215
Hello. I'm Johnny Karate.
631
00:26:48,017 --> 00:26:50,328
♪ Imaginary friends are cool ♪
632
00:26:51,229 --> 00:26:54,268
♪ imaginary friends take the fall for you ♪
633
00:26:54,295 --> 00:26:57,101
- Daddy, you should play music.
- Yeah, Ron.
634
00:26:57,221 --> 00:26:59,127
Go on. Get up there. Have some fun.
635
00:26:59,247 --> 00:27:02,816
I recalibrated the sights on all
the rifles in the shooting gallery.
636
00:27:02,936 --> 00:27:05,469
I've had enough fun for one day.
637
00:27:09,047 --> 00:27:10,778
Oh, I know that look. Where is she?
638
00:27:10,779 --> 00:27:12,469
She's near. Hide the children.
639
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,524
Hello, Ron.
640
00:27:15,857 --> 00:27:18,496
- Hello, Ron's friend.
- Tammy,
641
00:27:18,616 --> 00:27:21,691
what could possibly bring you
to a children's performance...
642
00:27:21,811 --> 00:27:24,201
preparing a ritual sacrifice of a newborn?
643
00:27:24,321 --> 00:27:26,609
No, just trolling for some daddy.
644
00:27:26,652 --> 00:27:28,632
Oh, sorry. I pronounced that wrong.
645
00:27:28,752 --> 00:27:30,960
Trolling for some dad "D."
646
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,620
Diane, why don't you take
the girls for some ice cream
647
00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:36,513
while I dispose of this
sewer-dwelling gutter witch?
648
00:27:36,633 --> 00:27:38,833
Bye, Tammy. Always a pleasure.
649
00:27:39,648 --> 00:27:40,961
You're not fooling me, Ron.
650
00:27:41,081 --> 00:27:45,334
This little domestic charade of
yours hasn't changed you one bit.
651
00:27:45,454 --> 00:27:48,360
You're still the same old Ron Swanson,
652
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,236
and I will defeat you.
653
00:27:50,637 --> 00:27:53,729
I will defeat you right into my pants.
654
00:27:53,849 --> 00:27:56,716
- Thank you!
- Everybody go crazy!
655
00:27:59,065 --> 00:28:00,465
All right, thanks, guys. Remember...
656
00:28:00,466 --> 00:28:01,833
karate on bad guys only.
657
00:28:01,868 --> 00:28:03,168
Hey, man, you were really great out there.
658
00:28:03,202 --> 00:28:05,278
Oh, hey, burly. How you doing, man?
659
00:28:05,398 --> 00:28:07,032
Pretty good, man. Remember my nephew, Jack?
660
00:28:07,066 --> 00:28:08,467
- He's a really big fan.
- Whoa, hey, Jack.
661
00:28:08,501 --> 00:28:09,768
Good to see you, bud.
662
00:28:09,802 --> 00:28:11,303
Hey, listen, man, I'm really sorry
663
00:28:11,337 --> 00:28:13,305
things ended so weird with mouse rat.
664
00:28:13,339 --> 00:28:14,773
You know, that's not
really how I pictured us
665
00:28:14,807 --> 00:28:17,209
- breaking up, you know.
- Yeah, I do know.
666
00:28:17,243 --> 00:28:18,963
I always figured we'd...
you know, whatever...
667
00:28:18,978 --> 00:28:20,912
break up 'cause I got drafted by the Colts.
668
00:28:20,947 --> 00:28:24,082
And then in the first game,
of course, I'd break my leg.
669
00:28:24,117 --> 00:28:27,619
Crowd starts chanting my name,
and I give 'em the thumbs-up.
670
00:28:27,654 --> 00:28:30,022
And then I'd go to the hospital.
I'd get really good at chess.
671
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:32,057
I end up beating the computer finally,
672
00:28:32,091 --> 00:28:34,459
and then the band just
sort of drifts apart.
673
00:28:34,494 --> 00:28:35,927
- That was how I saw it, but...
- Yeah.
674
00:28:35,962 --> 00:28:38,997
- Take it easy.
- Yeah, see you.
675
00:28:39,032 --> 00:28:41,166
Babe, that was so awesome.
676
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,634
That was the best performance ever.
677
00:28:42,669 --> 00:28:44,936
One kid peed his pants because
he didn't want to miss anything.
678
00:28:44,971 --> 00:28:46,939
- What? I gave a kid pee pants?
- Yes!
679
00:28:46,973 --> 00:28:49,775
Well, that's why I do what I do.
680
00:28:49,809 --> 00:28:51,243
What's wrong?
681
00:28:51,277 --> 00:28:52,437
I guess I just kind of miss
682
00:28:52,445 --> 00:28:53,946
having people up onstage with me.
683
00:28:53,980 --> 00:28:55,914
They never tell you when you go solo
684
00:28:55,949 --> 00:28:57,783
that it's just gonna be you up there.
685
00:28:57,817 --> 00:29:01,953
Anyways, what do you say I
take you over to the ball pit,
686
00:29:01,988 --> 00:29:04,256
and we find your cell phone I lost?
687
00:29:04,290 --> 00:29:05,624
You what?
688
00:29:05,658 --> 00:29:07,659
♪ Just living on a Sunday morning ♪
689
00:29:07,694 --> 00:29:10,662
♪ got my toast and tea, and I'm warm and ♪
690
00:29:10,697 --> 00:29:17,636
♪ I just thought I'd think about ♪
691
00:29:18,938 --> 00:29:25,410
♪ and it might be ♪
692
00:29:25,445 --> 00:29:27,980
♪ the comfort of a knowledge
of a rise above the sky ♪
693
00:29:28,014 --> 00:29:29,881
♪ could never parallel the
challenge of an acquion ♪
694
00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:34,219
♪ in the here and now, here and now ♪
695
00:29:34,253 --> 00:29:36,722
I love you, Kay Hanley!
696
00:29:40,326 --> 00:29:42,594
I hope you like deep-dish pizza,
697
00:29:42,629 --> 00:29:45,097
because there's gonna be a
lot more of it in Chicago,
698
00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,799
where we're all gonna be moving.
699
00:29:47,834 --> 00:29:49,735
- Okay.
- No. No.
700
00:29:49,769 --> 00:29:52,971
We are not moving to Chicago
for, like, a billion reasons.
701
00:29:53,006 --> 00:29:56,124
- But, babe, pizza.
- There's pizza in Pawnee.
702
00:29:56,244 --> 00:29:57,978
Right. Thanks, babe.
703
00:29:58,013 --> 00:29:59,814
You're so good at
reminding me where pizza is.
704
00:29:59,848 --> 00:30:01,682
Come on, guys, take a risk.
705
00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:03,918
Live on the edge. Life is an adventure.
706
00:30:03,952 --> 00:30:05,085
It is! Let's do it!
707
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,787
- No.
- No.
708
00:30:06,821 --> 00:30:09,390
Pawnee is cheap, and we like it here,
709
00:30:09,424 --> 00:30:13,294
and Chicago seems like there's
a lot of stuff to do and people,
710
00:30:13,328 --> 00:30:15,262
but I like to do nothing with no one.
711
00:30:15,297 --> 00:30:17,331
So thank you, and I love you,
712
00:30:17,365 --> 00:30:20,401
but, no, thank you, and I hate you.
713
00:30:20,435 --> 00:30:22,269
I love you.
714
00:30:23,471 --> 00:30:26,340
Well, you know, you owe me for that pizza.
715
00:30:28,376 --> 00:30:31,345
♪ But you're motoring ♪
716
00:30:31,379 --> 00:30:35,616
♪ Yeah ♪
717
00:30:35,650 --> 00:30:40,988
♪ motoring ♪
718
00:30:45,861 --> 00:30:46,794
Sister Christian.
719
00:30:48,630 --> 00:30:50,664
Thank you, Pawnee!
720
00:30:50,699 --> 00:30:55,469
We have been Bobby Knight Ranger!
721
00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:01,742
Super cool to hear Sister Christian
722
00:31:01,776 --> 00:31:03,310
that many times in a row.
723
00:31:03,345 --> 00:31:06,080
Now is the moment we've
all been waiting for.
724
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:10,084
This next band agreed to
reunite for one night only,
725
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:11,385
and it's gonna be great.
726
00:31:11,419 --> 00:31:14,288
I personally hope that
they play Summer Sun.
727
00:31:14,322 --> 00:31:17,024
We all know how it goes, right?
728
00:31:17,058 --> 00:31:20,127
♪ Summer sun ♪
729
00:31:20,161 --> 00:31:22,329
♪ summer sun ♪
730
00:31:22,364 --> 00:31:23,497
- Hey, Andy.
- * Summer... *
731
00:31:23,532 --> 00:31:25,132
Why don't you let us play those, bud?
732
00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:26,400
Oh, yeah, good point. Okay.
733
00:31:26,434 --> 00:31:30,323
Without any further ado, land ho!
734
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:37,945
What up, Pawnee?
735
00:31:43,552 --> 00:31:47,154
♪ alone and zoned and sad ♪
736
00:31:47,189 --> 00:31:49,156
♪ no one gives a zig or zag ♪
737
00:31:51,893 --> 00:31:54,828
♪ I should have let you ride ♪
738
00:31:54,863 --> 00:31:56,630
♪ I should have let you go ♪
739
00:32:06,541 --> 00:32:07,741
Thank you, Pawnee!
740
00:32:07,776 --> 00:32:09,043
You miss the band?
741
00:32:09,077 --> 00:32:11,645
No, I mean, I love that
I'm Johnny Karate now,
742
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,082
but being part of a band, that's just...
743
00:32:15,117 --> 00:32:17,218
that's rock and roll, man.
744
00:32:17,252 --> 00:32:21,689
Joining us now for our
finale, legendary local band,
745
00:32:21,723 --> 00:32:24,191
please welcome Mouse Rat!
746
00:32:24,226 --> 00:32:27,695
You guys are closing this sucker down!
747
00:32:31,666 --> 00:32:33,667
Well, how about this
Unity concert, huh, Pawnee?
748
00:32:37,506 --> 00:32:40,174
I love this town so much,
749
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:42,910
and I'm just so proud to live here.
750
00:32:42,944 --> 00:32:46,113
And we're gonna close
tonight out with a tribute
751
00:32:46,147 --> 00:32:48,816
to Pawnee's greatest treasure.
752
00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:54,054
♪ Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing ♪
753
00:32:56,658 --> 00:33:02,696
♪ You trade your legs for angel's wings ♪
754
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:09,036
♪ and once we've all said good-bye ♪
755
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:16,010
♪ you take a running leap,
and you learn to fly ♪
756
00:33:16,044 --> 00:33:21,982
♪ bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian ♪
757
00:33:22,017 --> 00:33:26,187
♪ I miss you in the saddest fashion ♪
758
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:28,656
Whoo!
759
00:33:28,690 --> 00:33:33,327
♪ bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian ♪
760
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:39,700
♪ you're 5,000 candles in the wind ♪
761
00:33:39,734 --> 00:33:43,938
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Duke Ssilver!
762
00:33:56,785 --> 00:34:01,122
♪ bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian ♪
763
00:34:02,858 --> 00:34:09,530
♪ I miss you in the saddest fashion ♪
764
00:34:09,564 --> 00:34:14,034
♪ bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian ♪
765
00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:21,041
♪ you're 5,000 candles in the wind ♪
766
00:34:31,375 --> 00:34:33,823
Guys, this is the most
important night of my life,
767
00:34:33,943 --> 00:34:35,980
which means it's the most
important night of your lives too.
768
00:34:36,100 --> 00:34:38,159
Speak for yourself. I once got into a cab
769
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,800
that Kyra Sedgwick was getting out of.
770
00:34:39,819 --> 00:34:41,344
No way, The Closer? Oof!
771
00:34:41,999 --> 00:34:44,233
It's opening night. Let's do this!
772
00:34:44,353 --> 00:34:46,746
Hey, butt wieners!
773
00:34:46,866 --> 00:34:49,433
♪ Look who I found ♪
774
00:34:49,553 --> 00:34:51,282
- Daddy!
- No.
775
00:34:51,402 --> 00:34:53,648
Your father ruined my last business.
Why would you bring him here?
776
00:34:53,768 --> 00:34:55,757
Because you told me to look for V.I.P.s,
777
00:34:55,877 --> 00:34:59,601
and my daddy is the V.I.-est "P" I know.
778
00:34:59,721 --> 00:35:02,029
- I love you, daddy.
- I love you too, angel.
779
00:35:02,149 --> 00:35:03,531
Money, please.
780
00:35:04,608 --> 00:35:06,323
- Mm! Money! Money! Money!
- Money, please!
781
00:35:06,324 --> 00:35:07,324
Craig, we're gonna drink.
782
00:35:07,734 --> 00:35:09,455
Why would you come here, Saperstein?
783
00:35:09,575 --> 00:35:12,582
I came here to see your
flourishing business,
784
00:35:12,702 --> 00:35:14,027
to see how well you're doing.
785
00:35:14,367 --> 00:35:16,459
Wow! You're back.
786
00:35:16,579 --> 00:35:19,173
Can you squeeze me in, or
do I need a reservation?
787
00:35:20,482 --> 00:35:23,027
'Cause there's nobody here.
788
00:35:23,147 --> 00:35:25,790
Maybe this restaurant
won't be a huge success.
789
00:35:25,910 --> 00:35:28,214
Maybe it won't be packed with celebrities.
790
00:35:28,334 --> 00:35:30,411
- Tommy!
- Or maybe it will.
791
00:35:30,531 --> 00:35:32,423
- Hello, Joan. Hello, Perd.
- Hi.
792
00:35:32,543 --> 00:35:34,289
Thanks for coming by.
793
00:35:34,409 --> 00:35:36,821
- Can I get you a drink?
- I'll have the Joan.
794
00:35:36,941 --> 00:35:40,820
It's a tumbler of gin, and it's
got crushed aspirin around the rim.
795
00:35:40,940 --> 00:35:42,836
And I would just like an empty glass.
796
00:35:43,146 --> 00:35:45,686
Steve, can we get these
cocktails going for Joan and Perd?
797
00:35:45,806 --> 00:35:48,944
Oh, look, Kay Hanley, rock
star, thanks for coming by.
798
00:35:49,064 --> 00:35:50,068
Thanks for having me.
799
00:35:50,188 --> 00:35:52,727
Come on in, guys. You
might want to grab a seat,
800
00:35:52,847 --> 00:35:55,314
Dr. Saperstein. Looks like it's getting...
801
00:35:55,315 --> 00:35:57,248
a little crowded.
802
00:36:02,763 --> 00:36:06,204
And I said, "you don't need a
towel. You need a washcloth."
803
00:36:09,896 --> 00:36:12,688
You know, I don't think that
the girls have ever been happier
804
00:36:12,689 --> 00:36:15,555
or more surprised than when
you got up on that stage.
805
00:36:16,529 --> 00:36:18,358
Well, having you and the kids in my life
806
00:36:18,359 --> 00:36:19,927
has made me a different person.
807
00:36:20,361 --> 00:36:25,808
And I like it. There's more
room in my life for... fun.
808
00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:32,092
Hi, Ben.
809
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:34,270
It's me, Barney, from the accounting firm.
810
00:36:34,390 --> 00:36:37,679
Yes. Hi, Barney. You don't have
to introduce yourself every time.
811
00:36:37,914 --> 00:36:39,242
I was gonna wait until your birthday
812
00:36:39,243 --> 00:36:41,508
to give this to you,
but I'm just too excited.
813
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,068
This is the copyright to Cones of Dunshire.
814
00:36:45,294 --> 00:36:47,929
After you gave it to us as
a gift, we saw its potential,
815
00:36:47,963 --> 00:36:51,599
so we formed a "C" corp and
registered it in your name.
816
00:36:51,634 --> 00:36:54,803
This is amazing. How can I ever repay you?
817
00:36:54,837 --> 00:36:57,405
Come work for us at the accounting firm.
818
00:36:57,439 --> 00:36:58,573
Okay.
819
00:36:58,607 --> 00:37:00,308
Oh! Oh!
820
00:37:00,342 --> 00:37:02,410
No, sorry. I can't.
821
00:37:02,445 --> 00:37:05,113
Wow. Shortest one yet.
822
00:37:05,147 --> 00:37:07,882
Thank you.
823
00:37:07,917 --> 00:37:08,917
Babe, thank you so much
824
00:37:08,951 --> 00:37:10,852
for organizing the mouse rat reunion.
825
00:37:10,886 --> 00:37:13,955
It was actually Ginuwine
who arranged everything.
826
00:37:13,989 --> 00:37:15,623
He really cares about you.
827
00:37:15,658 --> 00:37:17,492
You're the greatest wife ever.
828
00:37:17,526 --> 00:37:19,561
I wish I could marry you all over again.
829
00:37:19,595 --> 00:37:21,095
Let's get divorced.
830
00:37:21,130 --> 00:37:22,430
That way, we can get married again.
831
00:37:22,465 --> 00:37:23,498
Yes, let's do it.
832
00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:24,566
- You want to?
- Yes!
833
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:25,800
We should do that, right?
834
00:37:25,835 --> 00:37:26,901
Yeah, totally.
835
00:37:26,936 --> 00:37:29,103
- We're getting divorced!
- Yes.
836
00:37:29,138 --> 00:37:30,538
This is amazing.
837
00:37:30,573 --> 00:37:32,273
Practically everyone we invited came,
838
00:37:32,308 --> 00:37:34,576
except for Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus.
839
00:37:34,610 --> 00:37:35,844
I was hoping tonight
would be magical enough
840
00:37:35,878 --> 00:37:37,812
- to get 'em back together.
- Let it go, friend.
841
00:37:37,847 --> 00:37:41,316
He's not good enough
for her, and vice versa!
842
00:37:41,350 --> 00:37:44,452
Thomas. Yes, we don't get along,
843
00:37:44,487 --> 00:37:47,922
but I look at you... I
see driven, I see smart,
844
00:37:47,957 --> 00:37:50,658
and I just had the best Italian meal
845
00:37:50,693 --> 00:37:51,893
I've ever had in my life,
846
00:37:51,927 --> 00:37:54,529
and I've been to Dallas.
847
00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:56,030
- I'm in.
- No way.
848
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:58,433
I'm not gonna let you take
another one of my businesses.
849
00:37:58,467 --> 00:38:00,935
No, no, I'm in as a partner.
850
00:38:00,970 --> 00:38:02,904
I'm always looking for new investments.
851
00:38:02,938 --> 00:38:04,139
I've got an auto dealership.
852
00:38:04,173 --> 00:38:05,373
I've got a massage parlor,
853
00:38:05,407 --> 00:38:08,143
a dry-cleaning
transactional holding company
854
00:38:08,177 --> 00:38:11,246
that is doing unbelievably
well, I might add.
855
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,548
What do you say?
856
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:16,451
You know what? I'm not
really looking for investors,
857
00:38:16,485 --> 00:38:19,420
given the almost embarrassing
level of success I've attained,
858
00:38:19,455 --> 00:38:20,955
but I'll consider it.
859
00:38:20,990 --> 00:38:22,390
Now, if you'll excuse me,
860
00:38:22,424 --> 00:38:23,992
I need to get some pictures
for my wall of fame.
861
00:38:24,026 --> 00:38:27,529
Uh, excuse me, miss Hanley?
Do you mind if I snap a you-ie?
862
00:38:27,563 --> 00:38:29,030
It's what I call selfies of other people.
863
00:38:29,064 --> 00:38:30,031
Sure.
864
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:32,934
Can I get everyone's attention, please?
865
00:38:32,968 --> 00:38:36,838
Our goal was to get 2,000 signatures
866
00:38:36,872 --> 00:38:38,740
in support of the merger.
867
00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:40,508
We got...
868
00:38:40,543 --> 00:38:42,310
almost 4,000
869
00:38:42,344 --> 00:38:45,447
on the first night.
870
00:38:45,481 --> 00:38:47,782
Hey, everybody, let's
keep this party going.
871
00:38:47,817 --> 00:38:49,884
The next round of gnocchi is on the house.
872
00:38:54,623 --> 00:38:56,457
You look sad, Knope.
873
00:38:56,492 --> 00:38:59,194
Couldn't find any takers for Chicago?
874
00:38:59,228 --> 00:39:01,062
Everybody turned me down but Larry.
875
00:39:01,097 --> 00:39:02,530
- Ouch.
- Yeah.
876
00:39:02,565 --> 00:39:03,965
Well, cheer up.
877
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,301
You got a new job, new challenges,
878
00:39:06,368 --> 00:39:07,769
all that crap you like.
879
00:39:07,803 --> 00:39:10,705
Man, I'm gonna miss
Pawnee. I wish I could stay,
880
00:39:10,739 --> 00:39:14,209
you know, keep an eye on
it, raise my kids here.
881
00:39:14,243 --> 00:39:16,244
And let's be honest, am I ever gonna find
882
00:39:16,278 --> 00:39:18,146
a better breakfast than JJ's Diner?
883
00:39:18,180 --> 00:39:19,681
You will not, no.
884
00:39:19,715 --> 00:39:21,316
I know it's not easy to leave,
885
00:39:21,350 --> 00:39:24,919
but this job does seem perfect.
886
00:39:24,954 --> 00:39:27,689
Of course, I'd prefer you
use your talents elsewhere.
887
00:39:27,723 --> 00:39:29,891
You know, with your
courage and small frame,
888
00:39:29,925 --> 00:39:31,659
you'd make an excellent coal miner.
889
00:39:31,694 --> 00:39:33,328
Thank you, Ron. That's very sweet.
890
00:39:33,362 --> 00:39:35,597
It's time for you to move up in the world.
891
00:39:35,631 --> 00:39:37,899
Your ambition was bound to take you away
892
00:39:37,933 --> 00:39:39,934
from the town you love sooner or later,
893
00:39:39,969 --> 00:39:41,836
and you can't have everything you want.
894
00:39:41,871 --> 00:39:43,438
Oh, my God.
895
00:39:43,472 --> 00:39:45,573
I can have everything I want!
896
00:39:45,608 --> 00:39:46,941
- Thank you.
- I feel like
897
00:39:46,976 --> 00:39:48,510
- you're not listening to me.
- Oh, and by the way,
898
00:39:48,544 --> 00:39:51,446
don't think that we are
not discussing Duke silver.
899
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,548
When were you going to tell me about that?
900
00:39:53,582 --> 00:39:56,418
Unbelievable! I am so furious at you,
901
00:39:56,452 --> 00:39:57,952
but I've already forgiven
you, and you need to teach me
902
00:39:57,987 --> 00:39:59,320
how to play the saxophone.
903
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:00,655
Okay, bye.
904
00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:08,795
Hi, Leslie and everyone.
905
00:40:08,829 --> 00:40:09,987
- I'm Grant...
- No time for small talk.
906
00:40:10,107 --> 00:40:12,705
I think the best version of me working
907
00:40:12,825 --> 00:40:15,773
as Midwest regional
director is not in Chicago.
908
00:40:15,893 --> 00:40:18,304
It's right here in Pawnee.
909
00:40:18,339 --> 00:40:19,983
- How so?
- The financial savings here
910
00:40:20,103 --> 00:40:21,162
are enormous.
911
00:40:21,282 --> 00:40:23,172
I mean, the cost of
living is way lower here,
912
00:40:23,292 --> 00:40:25,911
and renting the entire
third floor of this building
913
00:40:26,036 --> 00:40:28,871
would be way cheaper than a
much smaller space in Chicago.
914
00:40:28,906 --> 00:40:31,608
Pawnee is actually closer
to most of the parks
915
00:40:31,642 --> 00:40:35,378
in the Midwest region, and
it's got Tom's Bistro...
916
00:40:35,412 --> 00:40:37,380
an exciting new-wave Italian eatery
917
00:40:37,382 --> 00:40:39,682
that's equal parts Dean
Martin and Bruno Mars.
918
00:40:39,717 --> 00:40:41,184
But that's just what The Indianapolis Star
919
00:40:41,218 --> 00:40:42,385
is saying.
920
00:40:42,419 --> 00:40:44,020
Let's see what everyone else has to say.
921
00:40:44,054 --> 00:40:45,822
No, no, this is not what
we're doing right now.
922
00:40:45,856 --> 00:40:48,558
- But congrats.
- Leslie should stay here.
923
00:40:48,592 --> 00:40:50,326
And if you don't agree with
us, it's nine against one,
924
00:40:50,361 --> 00:40:51,728
and we can make you disappear forever.
925
00:40:51,762 --> 00:40:54,397
- What?
- I said, "We have free wi-fi."
926
00:40:54,431 --> 00:40:56,933
Look, Pawnee is a town on the rise,
927
00:40:56,967 --> 00:40:59,969
and national parks could
get in on the ground floor.
928
00:41:00,004 --> 00:41:03,506
It's the best option, hands down.
929
00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:06,509
Well, I'll run this up the flagpole.
930
00:41:06,544 --> 00:41:09,612
Also, can you bring back Power Rangers?
931
00:41:09,647 --> 00:41:11,948
I don't know what it is you do,
932
00:41:11,982 --> 00:41:15,051
but you seem important
enough to get that done.
933
00:41:15,085 --> 00:41:18,254
Sometimes you have to
make the hardest climb
934
00:41:18,289 --> 00:41:20,089
to see the most beautiful sunrise.
935
00:41:20,124 --> 00:41:22,625
I read that once on an old
lady's decorative pillow.
936
00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:24,961
But it is really how I feel today.
937
00:41:24,995 --> 00:41:27,931
I've climbed a very
weird and rocky mountain,
938
00:41:27,965 --> 00:41:30,033
and it was a pain in the
ass, and my legs are tired,
939
00:41:30,067 --> 00:41:33,002
and I'm starving, but the sun is rising
940
00:41:33,037 --> 00:41:35,705
over a sea of love and
waffles and possibility.
941
00:41:35,739 --> 00:41:39,909
So I'm just gonna relax
and take a deep breath
942
00:41:39,944 --> 00:41:45,248
and enjoy this view for
as long as I possibly can.
943
00:41:47,084 --> 00:41:49,986
Call Ken and Rebecca, and
no statements to the press
944
00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:52,088
unless I personally release them.
945
00:41:52,122 --> 00:41:53,923
We are on a media lockdown.
946
00:41:53,958 --> 00:41:57,227
Where is Ed with the file? Ed!
947
00:41:57,261 --> 00:41:59,362
I'm sorry, Miss Knope, I lost the file.
948
00:41:59,396 --> 00:42:01,464
- It's gone.
- Ed, you're a nice guy,
949
00:42:01,498 --> 00:42:03,700
but you're the most incompetent
person I've ever word with,
950
00:42:03,734 --> 00:42:06,369
and that includes Terry.
951
00:42:06,403 --> 00:42:09,072
Jeez! Get it together, Terry.
952
00:42:09,106 --> 00:42:11,007
Clean out your desk. You're fired.
953
00:42:11,041 --> 00:42:12,742
I understand. Thank you for the literally
954
00:42:12,776 --> 00:42:14,416
hundreds of opportunities you've given me.
955
00:42:14,456 --> 00:42:16,762
Good-bye, everyone. It's
been a great three years.
956
00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:18,956
Cancel my flight to South
Dakota. We'll do it next month.
957
00:42:19,350 --> 00:42:21,666
- Babe, what's our play here?
- Everyone's waiting downstairs in my office.
958
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,304
Let's just go hear what they have to say.
959
00:42:23,424 --> 00:42:24,409
But honey, tonight's your big night.
960
00:42:24,529 --> 00:42:26,667
No, this is more important.
Where are the kids?
961
00:42:26,787 --> 00:42:29,238
- Right here.
- Hey, guys!
962
00:42:29,358 --> 00:42:31,313
Mommy and daddy had to do a little work,
963
00:42:31,433 --> 00:42:33,590
and you're gonna have a fun
play date with Uncle Andy
964
00:42:33,591 --> 00:42:36,102
- and Aunty April, okay?
- Let's go, munchkins.
965
00:42:36,209 --> 00:42:38,524
I forgot, Ben... how many bags
of marshmallows do I give them?
966
00:42:38,644 --> 00:42:41,174
None! Just let April do everything.
967
00:42:41,294 --> 00:42:43,745
One day, in the distant future,
968
00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:46,177
things will be calm and normal, right?
969
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:48,364
Probably not. But that's okay.
970
00:42:48,681 --> 00:42:50,605
- You ready?
- Not at all.
971
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,467
But that's never stopped us before.
972
00:42:55,704 --> 00:43:02,311
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com