1 00:00:03,512 --> 00:00:04,712 - [sighs] Forget it. 2 00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:06,247 It's impossible. 3 00:00:06,249 --> 00:00:07,248 It's not gonna work in a million years. 4 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,282 It's pointless. I give up. 5 00:00:08,284 --> 00:00:11,352 - Well, you know, what do you want from me? 6 00:00:11,354 --> 00:00:14,389 I'm trying to get a group of people to give me their land, 7 00:00:14,391 --> 00:00:18,359 rather than sell it to Gryzzl for $90 million. 8 00:00:18,361 --> 00:00:20,261 Right now, my basic argument is, 9 00:00:20,263 --> 00:00:23,197 "Please, give us the land. It would be so nice." 10 00:00:23,199 --> 00:00:26,267 Gryzzl has billions of dollars. There's no way I beat them. 11 00:00:26,269 --> 00:00:29,037 - Hey, I've seen you beat tougher odds than this. 12 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:31,773 But they're just a company, they're not that powerful. 13 00:00:31,775 --> 00:00:33,241 [phone dings] 14 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:34,242 - Whoa! 15 00:00:34,244 --> 00:00:37,045 "Open your door"? 16 00:00:38,147 --> 00:00:39,213 Ah! 17 00:00:39,215 --> 00:00:41,549 Oh, my God, Ben! We're about to die. 18 00:00:41,551 --> 00:00:43,184 - Good lord! - Oh, my-- 19 00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:44,685 The robots have come for us. 20 00:00:44,687 --> 00:00:46,354 I made fun of you when you said it would happen 21 00:00:46,356 --> 00:00:47,822 but your novel has come true. 22 00:00:47,824 --> 00:00:49,123 - Hey, Leslie Knope! 23 00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:50,625 Please enjoy this free gift, 24 00:00:50,627 --> 00:00:52,693 courtesy of Gryzzl. 25 00:00:52,695 --> 00:00:55,196 - Okay, so they also have a squadron 26 00:00:55,198 --> 00:00:58,666 of flying robots giving presents to everyone. 27 00:00:58,668 --> 00:01:00,201 - We're screwed. 28 00:01:00,203 --> 00:01:03,237 [triumphant music] 29 00:01:03,239 --> 00:01:11,312 ♪ ♪ 30 00:01:21,323 --> 00:01:22,323 - New dish we're working on. 31 00:01:22,325 --> 00:01:23,825 Tell me what you think. 32 00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:26,828 It's a red and white heirloom red bean pasta, 33 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:29,297 with an imported Tuscan walnut herb sauce, 34 00:01:29,299 --> 00:01:31,699 infused with shaved heritage Pecorino Romano. 35 00:01:31,701 --> 00:01:32,700 What? You're done? 36 00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:34,469 - Mmm. Really good. 37 00:01:34,471 --> 00:01:35,470 Why are you doing new dishes? 38 00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:40,274 Lucy is visiting her boyfriend Conrad in Chicago, 39 00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:41,742 so I'm just trying to distract myself with work 40 00:01:41,744 --> 00:01:43,678 so I don't think about the marathon bone sesh 41 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:44,645 they're probably having. 42 00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:46,681 You gotta take your mind off of them. 43 00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,483 Check this out. 44 00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:50,218 It's a contract. 45 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:52,153 It came from the station manager where I do my show, 46 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,188 Johnny Karate. He wants me to sign it, 47 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:57,225 but is says that they'll own the character, "Johnny Karate." 48 00:01:57,227 --> 00:01:59,794 And I want to own the character Johnny Karate, 'cause it's me. 49 00:01:59,796 --> 00:02:02,130 - Wait, this says they only pay you a hundred bucks a week? 50 00:02:02,132 --> 00:02:04,732 - Yeah, but all I really do is goof around all day. 51 00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:06,467 Write, produce, and direct a TV show. 52 00:02:06,469 --> 00:02:09,670 Plus, I act in it, and I do sets, props, wardrobe. 53 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,539 At the end, I drive everybody home, so I mean, 54 00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:14,375 a hundred bucks a week-- that's pretty fair. 55 00:02:14,377 --> 00:02:16,310 - This is perfect. I'll be your agent! 56 00:02:16,312 --> 00:02:19,247 I'll put all my energy into renegotiating your contract. 57 00:02:19,249 --> 00:02:20,882 I won't even think about Lucy and Conrad 58 00:02:20,884 --> 00:02:24,585 and his stupid crunches that he probably does. 59 00:02:24,587 --> 00:02:27,555 I should probably do some crunches. 60 00:02:27,557 --> 00:02:28,623 Let's go! 61 00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:31,459 Ow! Andy, my tum tum! 62 00:02:32,394 --> 00:02:33,761 - Knope, I need to talk to you. 63 00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:36,697 - I know I technically work for Gryzzl, 64 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:38,666 but these fools have crossed a line. 65 00:02:38,668 --> 00:02:40,201 Have you gotten one of these GryzzlBoxes? 66 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,236 - Well, yeah, but I haven't opened it yet. 67 00:02:42,238 --> 00:02:45,306 Planning on sending it back after I wrote a sternly-worded 68 00:02:45,308 --> 00:02:47,842 letter about how I cannot be bought with free gifts. 69 00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:50,411 - These are my free gifts. 70 00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:52,246 Two honey bears... 71 00:02:52,248 --> 00:02:54,882 and a canister of sugar plums. 72 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,585 "Honeybear" and "Sugar Plum" are the special names 73 00:02:57,587 --> 00:02:59,253 Joe and I call each other. 74 00:02:59,255 --> 00:03:02,657 - Yeah, we're adorable, but this is creepy. 75 00:03:02,659 --> 00:03:04,358 Because we only call each other these things 76 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,294 on the phone or in texts. 77 00:03:06,296 --> 00:03:08,829 How do they even know? 78 00:03:08,831 --> 00:03:11,699 - Leslie, open that box they sent you. 79 00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:14,835 - Ooh! Joe Biden's book, "Biden the Rails: 80 00:03:14,837 --> 00:03:17,305 1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels 81 00:03:17,307 --> 00:03:18,606 Through Amtrak's Northeast Corridor." 82 00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:19,840 - A thousand? - [gasps] 83 00:03:19,842 --> 00:03:22,410 A poster of the Supreme Court Justices 84 00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:25,213 sipping the Friends milkshake! 85 00:03:25,215 --> 00:03:26,547 This stuff is perfect for me. 86 00:03:26,549 --> 00:03:29,383 - Yeah, exactly. They must be data-mining. 87 00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:31,219 Searching our texts and emails 88 00:03:31,221 --> 00:03:32,787 and gathering profiles on all of us. 89 00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:34,989 This is a huge invasion of privacy, 90 00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:36,524 not to mention illegal. 91 00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:38,693 When they installed their free Wi-Fi in town, 92 00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:41,729 I made sure that there was language preventing this. 93 00:03:41,731 --> 00:03:43,464 - I never would have agreed to work with them 94 00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:45,733 if I had known they were gonna be snooping in my biz. 95 00:03:45,735 --> 00:03:47,735 Gryzzl is going down. 96 00:03:47,737 --> 00:03:49,303 You wanna put me on blast? 97 00:03:49,305 --> 00:03:50,705 I'ma put you on Front Street. 98 00:03:50,707 --> 00:03:51,939 - I don't understand what that means, 99 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,542 but I think I get the context, and I love it. 100 00:03:55,744 --> 00:03:57,979 - April, the new Parks interns start today, 101 00:03:57,981 --> 00:04:00,348 and I was wondering if you would deliver a little welcome speech. 102 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:02,316 - No, go away. 103 00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,753 - Watermelon, martinis, exposed brick, Keri Russell's hair. 104 00:04:05,755 --> 00:04:07,822 - Why did you just say those weird things? 105 00:04:07,824 --> 00:04:10,324 - On the advice of my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard, 106 00:04:10,326 --> 00:04:12,627 whenever I feel like yelling, I just take a deep breath 107 00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:14,962 and say three great things about being alive. 108 00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:18,032 - Gross. - Please talk to my interns. 109 00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:20,268 - Fine. Whatever, I'll do it. 110 00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:21,769 I started here when I was 20, 111 00:04:21,771 --> 00:04:24,705 and now I'm old and gross and directionless. 112 00:04:24,707 --> 00:04:27,341 Those kids are me ten years ago, 113 00:04:27,343 --> 00:04:29,844 and this internship is the videotape from The Ring. 114 00:04:29,846 --> 00:04:32,380 It's too late for me. I've seen too much. 115 00:04:32,382 --> 00:04:34,682 But maybe I can save them. 116 00:04:34,684 --> 00:04:37,685 You're all gonna die in here! 117 00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:39,353 - Hello, everyone. 118 00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:41,656 We are here today to discuss Gryzzl, 119 00:04:41,658 --> 00:04:43,557 and whether or not they are invading our privacy. 120 00:04:43,559 --> 00:04:45,626 - They sent my husband three boxes of genital cream 121 00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:47,361 to his office. 122 00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:50,064 My husband's splotchy genitals are no one's business, 123 00:04:50,066 --> 00:04:53,701 except for his, mine, and his many genital doctors. 124 00:04:53,703 --> 00:04:58,839 - They sent me a bunch of toy pigs dressed like movie stars. 125 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:03,711 No one knows I collect toy pigs dressed like movie stars, 126 00:05:03,713 --> 00:05:05,346 except now all of you people. 127 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,614 - Which one is that? 128 00:05:06,616 --> 00:05:08,849 - This is actually Ham-uel L. Jackson 129 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:11,385 from the movie, Pork Fiction, it's extremely rare, 130 00:05:11,387 --> 00:05:15,022 But still, they no right to give me something I will treasure 131 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,757 the rest of my life. 132 00:05:16,759 --> 00:05:19,360 - I opened my box in front of all of my friends, 133 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,996 and it was a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels. 134 00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:24,498 Now Miley and Haley know I like to read. 135 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,933 What if they tell Evan? 136 00:05:25,935 --> 00:05:28,469 - I like their phones, but they've gone too far 137 00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,471 sending this stuff to our houses. 138 00:05:30,473 --> 00:05:33,107 Gryzzl has no right to search our private data. 139 00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:36,911 - So wait, you guys are not against us on this? 140 00:05:36,913 --> 00:05:38,679 - We're not against you on this. 141 00:05:38,681 --> 00:05:41,115 [chanting] - We're not against you on this. 142 00:05:41,117 --> 00:05:43,384 all: We're not against you on this. 143 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,519 - Finally, after months of searching for a way 144 00:05:45,521 --> 00:05:48,956 to defeat Gryzzl, we have found its Achilles' heel. 145 00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:51,659 The town is behind us, Donna is on our side, 146 00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:53,361 and the next domino to fall? 147 00:05:53,363 --> 00:05:55,429 Ron Swanson. 148 00:05:55,431 --> 00:05:59,066 Actually, this is Tom Sell-oink, but, you know, close enough. 149 00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,468 - Actually, I'm gonna need that back. 150 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:01,535 - Oh, yes, of course. 151 00:06:04,439 --> 00:06:04,672 . 152 00:06:04,674 --> 00:06:10,978 It includes such hits as: "First Trip to the Dentist," 153 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:12,747 "Sonia Tries Pizza," 154 00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:15,082 and "Waterpark Vomit Chain Reaction." 155 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,817 - Why would you take pictures of that? 156 00:06:16,819 --> 00:06:18,786 - Why would you not? - As you requested, 157 00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:21,756 here's a picture of my son at a recent moment in his life. 158 00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:24,425 - So cute-- 159 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,595 What are you doing? - Protecting my son's privacy. 160 00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:29,563 What, I'm just gonna carry around pictures of my child 161 00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:32,733 - Well, it's funny you should mention privacy 162 00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:34,635 because that's our next topic. 163 00:06:34,637 --> 00:06:36,804 - Ron technically works for Gryzzl. 164 00:06:36,806 --> 00:06:38,806 And when he finds out what Gryzzl is doing, 165 00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:42,076 he is going to lose. His. Mind. 166 00:06:43,712 --> 00:06:45,813 - I have no reaction to this. - What? 167 00:06:45,815 --> 00:06:47,681 - I do not pass judgment on the workings 168 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:48,916 of private businesses. 169 00:06:48,918 --> 00:06:50,651 I just build their buildings. 170 00:06:50,653 --> 00:06:52,186 And frankly, if people are foolish enough 171 00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:53,888 to carry around a doodad 172 00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:56,490 that lets Gryzzl track their every move, 173 00:06:56,492 --> 00:06:57,691 this is what they get. 174 00:06:57,693 --> 00:06:59,493 - But it's illegal. 175 00:06:59,495 --> 00:07:00,761 - I don't believe that's true. 176 00:07:00,763 --> 00:07:01,929 I've spent a fair amount of time 177 00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:03,497 with Gryzzl's high-priced lawyers, 178 00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:06,500 and they do seem to, as they say, 179 00:07:06,502 --> 00:07:08,135 "keep it 100." 180 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,738 - Well, those fools still think I work for them. 181 00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:12,773 So I can get you a private VIP tour of the building. 182 00:07:12,775 --> 00:07:15,576 Maybe you can snoop around. 183 00:07:15,578 --> 00:07:17,111 - Hey there, homies, I'm Roscoe. 184 00:07:17,113 --> 00:07:18,846 Psyched to give you guys a tour. 185 00:07:18,848 --> 00:07:21,148 - Yes, hello, I'm Darlene Johannsen, 186 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,451 and this is my assistant-turned-lover, 187 00:07:23,453 --> 00:07:24,919 Gregory Strong. 188 00:07:24,921 --> 00:07:28,122 Ours is a new romance, but one that sent shockwaves 189 00:07:28,124 --> 00:07:29,857 through my architecture firm. 190 00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:31,826 But it feels so right. - Steady. 191 00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:35,696 - We love Gryzzl, and we would love to see how it all works. 192 00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:38,732 - Sweet. Let's get loco. 193 00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:42,002 - Okay, so, let's get to know each other. 194 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,737 Talk about why you're here, 195 00:07:43,739 --> 00:07:45,206 whether you're throwing your lives away, 196 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:46,907 stuff like that. 197 00:07:46,909 --> 00:07:48,609 Uh, you, what brought you here? 198 00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:49,910 - I love the Parks department. 199 00:07:49,912 --> 00:07:52,246 and I used to go to tons of stuff there. 200 00:07:52,248 --> 00:07:53,881 - Okay, that doesn't help me. 201 00:07:53,883 --> 00:07:54,882 Uh, Mork? 202 00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:56,517 - Oh, it's Mike. 203 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,519 I love parks, more than anything, 204 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,754 and I've been a summer camp counselor since I was 13. 205 00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,122 - Ugh. Gross. 206 00:08:02,124 --> 00:08:04,058 What about you? Why are you here? 207 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,093 - The only thing I love more than parks is recreation. 208 00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:08,229 - No, I just needed college credit. 209 00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:09,263 - What are you studying? 210 00:08:09,265 --> 00:08:10,498 - Nothing. College is stupid. 211 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,799 - Then who made you do this. 212 00:08:11,801 --> 00:08:13,734 - My parents. - What are they like? 213 00:08:13,736 --> 00:08:15,903 - Well, my mom's the devil and my dad's a dumb doctor. 214 00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:17,905 - Oh, my dad's a doctor. - Shut up. 215 00:08:17,907 --> 00:08:19,206 Jen is it? - Yeah. 216 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,774 - Let's take a walk, Jen. 217 00:08:20,776 --> 00:08:22,910 I feel like you have almost zero potential. 218 00:08:22,912 --> 00:08:23,944 I think that's cool. 219 00:08:23,946 --> 00:08:25,546 - And action! [gong chimes] 220 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,749 - We meet again, Puppy-Hating Dan. 221 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,117 You stole my guitar. 222 00:08:30,119 --> 00:08:32,653 And you put farts in my lunch. 223 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:33,721 [children laughing] 224 00:08:33,723 --> 00:08:35,089 - You've really done it this time. 225 00:08:35,091 --> 00:08:36,991 Puppy Army, attack! 226 00:08:36,993 --> 00:08:38,225 all: Yeah! 227 00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,760 - What? No! 228 00:08:39,762 --> 00:08:41,662 I hate puppies. 229 00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,163 I'll admit to everything. 230 00:08:43,165 --> 00:08:44,765 You win again, Macklin. 231 00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:46,734 - Another mystery solved! 232 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:49,870 We'll be right back after this with some more Johnny Karate. 233 00:08:49,872 --> 00:08:50,971 - Okay, that's lunch, everyone. 234 00:08:50,973 --> 00:08:52,840 We're back in 30 minutes. 235 00:08:52,842 --> 00:08:54,308 - Great job, bud, you crushed it! 236 00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:58,879 He does all the work, and I get 10% just for showing up. 237 00:08:58,881 --> 00:09:00,781 It's like a chef at a restaurant, 238 00:09:00,783 --> 00:09:03,117 making all the food, and then the owner gets a profit-- 239 00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:05,252 which is my other job! [chuckles] 240 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,855 Man, I really got things figured out. 241 00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:11,559 - Andy's show gets huge ratings in three cities. 242 00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:14,128 His GryzzlTube page has millions of views. 243 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:16,130 If you don't Andy walking over to your rival station 244 00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:19,333 in Snerling, I think you should start taking this seriously. 245 00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:21,869 - Right. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 246 00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,837 I'm gonna upgrade the parking spot. 247 00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:25,806 But my son gets a role as one of the kid ninjas. 248 00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:27,908 All right? He's gonna love me for it. 249 00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:29,777 It's gonna drive my ex-wife crazy. 250 00:09:29,779 --> 00:09:31,278 - So far, so good, but, uh, 251 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,746 in the words of Jerry Maguire-- 252 00:09:32,748 --> 00:09:34,181 - "The human head weighs 8 pounds." 253 00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,784 - No. "Show me the money." 254 00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:38,752 - Andy, do you know how lucky you are to work here? 255 00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:44,725 Pep Wiley, Chuck Warschank, Selena Gomez--I made them. 256 00:09:44,727 --> 00:09:46,327 - You discovered Selena Gomez? 257 00:09:46,329 --> 00:09:47,828 - Different Selena Gomez. 258 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,363 Look, I don't have the money for a raise. 259 00:09:49,365 --> 00:09:51,899 - Uh, yeah you do. I've seen profit reports. 260 00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:54,835 The show's a bonanza. Andy starts making 500 a week. 261 00:09:54,837 --> 00:09:56,971 Now. 262 00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:58,839 - Get the hell out of my office, both of you-- 263 00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:03,177 - Look, dude, this internship leads nowhere. 264 00:10:03,179 --> 00:10:06,981 It'll just screw up the rest of your life. 265 00:10:06,983 --> 00:10:09,016 What do you love doing? - Texting. 266 00:10:09,018 --> 00:10:11,185 - What did you want to be when you were little? 267 00:10:11,187 --> 00:10:14,254 - A scary mermaid that lures sailors to their death. 268 00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:16,724 - Okay, side note, I'm gonna file papers 269 00:10:16,726 --> 00:10:19,727 to adopt you as my child, so keep an eye out for that. 270 00:10:19,729 --> 00:10:22,863 But more importantly, don't do this internship. 271 00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:24,098 Go do something fun 272 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,867 like trying to control birds with your mind 273 00:10:26,869 --> 00:10:31,739 or posting internet comments as Michael Jackson's ghost. 274 00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:34,074 - Okay. Maybe you're right. 275 00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:36,343 Thanks. 276 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,879 - Hey, April, we finished those questionnaires you gave us 277 00:10:38,881 --> 00:10:40,381 about our hopes and dreams for the internship. 278 00:10:40,383 --> 00:10:43,884 - Great! Thanks, Mike! 279 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:48,722 - Oh, I'm sorry this building is so lame. 280 00:10:48,724 --> 00:10:50,024 As soon as we get our new headquarters built, 281 00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,892 it's gonna be way, way, tighter. 282 00:10:51,894 --> 00:10:53,394 Check it. Matty. 283 00:10:53,396 --> 00:10:55,262 Okay, this is GryzzlVibe. 284 00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:56,864 It's this new app that we're developing 285 00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:58,799 that monitors your mood. Tell them about it. 286 00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:01,935 - As you know, the cameras on your phones are always on, 287 00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:02,936 whether you're using them or not. 288 00:11:02,938 --> 00:11:04,271 - I'm sorry, they are? 289 00:11:04,273 --> 00:11:07,174 - This app uses facial recognition software 290 00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:08,776 to track your expressions. 291 00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:10,244 It's always watching. 292 00:11:10,246 --> 00:11:13,113 - Well, what do you do with this information? 293 00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:15,783 - Well, if the camera senses that you're in a bad mood, 294 00:11:15,785 --> 00:11:17,985 then we can geo-match you to, say, the nearest cup 295 00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,853 of sweet pick-me-up java. 296 00:11:19,855 --> 00:11:23,223 But if you're in a good mood, then we could geo-nudge you 297 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:24,858 to, like, a sweet coffee shop. [chortles] 298 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:27,194 Just keep the good times rolling. 299 00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:29,430 - So it's really just a coffee sales app. 300 00:11:29,432 --> 00:11:30,931 - Yeah. - Yeah. 301 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:31,899 - Yeah, we're developing with Starbucks. 302 00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:32,900 - Yeah. 303 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:35,335 - So, Roscoe, how does Gryzzl 304 00:11:35,337 --> 00:11:37,905 know all the things that someone wants? 305 00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:42,876 Are you guys...I don't know, whatever--data-mining? 306 00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,945 - Oh, hells yeah, dog-man. 307 00:11:44,947 --> 00:11:49,216 Our super rad algorithm searches all your texts, calls, banking, 308 00:11:49,218 --> 00:11:51,285 medical records, blah, blah, blah, 309 00:11:51,287 --> 00:11:53,787 to learn what you really want. 310 00:11:53,789 --> 00:11:55,889 You know, from snacks to new books and movies 311 00:11:55,891 --> 00:11:58,892 to when you ladies need to score some new 'pons. 312 00:11:58,894 --> 00:12:01,762 I mean, we might know you better than you know yourself, Leslie. 313 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,897 - How did you know it was me? 314 00:12:03,899 --> 00:12:05,299 - Oh, there's about 40 different ways. 315 00:12:05,301 --> 00:12:08,268 I mean, geo-maps on your different Gryzzl devices, 316 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,137 and, of course, we face-scanned you when you came in. 317 00:12:10,139 --> 00:12:11,205 Really glad you're here. 318 00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:12,973 - Okay, good. 319 00:12:12,975 --> 00:12:14,942 Just 'cause we're competing for the Newport land 320 00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,410 doesn't mean that we can't be friends. 321 00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:19,513 "Wouldn't it be tight if everyone was chill 322 00:12:19,515 --> 00:12:20,514 to each other?" 323 00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:21,515 - Totes. 324 00:12:21,517 --> 00:12:23,083 And I hope that you can see now 325 00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:25,285 that there's nothing scary about Gryzzl. 326 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,788 I mean, we just wanna learn everything about everyone 327 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,056 and track them wherever they go 328 00:12:29,058 --> 00:12:31,225 and anticipate what they're about to do. 329 00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:33,494 - These are really interesting issues, Roscoe. 330 00:12:33,496 --> 00:12:36,363 I think maybe we could debate them, you know? 331 00:12:36,365 --> 00:12:38,966 On TV. - TV. Retro. 332 00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:40,868 I love it. All right. 333 00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,904 I'm gonna GryzzlPad out of here. 334 00:12:43,906 --> 00:12:44,972 Later, chillerz. 335 00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:48,242 . 336 00:12:48,244 --> 00:12:53,313 a legal debate show about issues facing residents 337 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,015 of Southern Indiana. 338 00:12:55,017 --> 00:12:58,118 With your host, Judge Perd Hapley. 339 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,920 - Tonight, on The Perdples Court, 340 00:12:59,922 --> 00:13:01,989 we will have the guests that have been booked 341 00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:06,260 the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations 342 00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:07,394 against Gryzzl. 343 00:13:07,396 --> 00:13:09,329 The defendant, Gryzzl Vice President 344 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,031 Roscoe Santangelo. 345 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:12,866 Who will win? I don't know yet. 346 00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:14,902 Which is what makes this a court show. 347 00:13:14,904 --> 00:13:17,037 - We have public opinion on our side, 348 00:13:17,039 --> 00:13:19,173 and we have proof that Gryzzl has been data-mining. 349 00:13:19,175 --> 00:13:20,874 But there's one more thing we need. 350 00:13:20,876 --> 00:13:25,279 The one thing that Americans respect more than anything else: 351 00:13:25,281 --> 00:13:28,482 public humiliation on live television. 352 00:13:28,484 --> 00:13:31,552 - Leslie, don't humiliate yourself on television. 353 00:13:31,554 --> 00:13:33,120 - Swanson, what are you doing here? 354 00:13:33,122 --> 00:13:36,056 - This is the 27th version of the Pawnee-Gryzzl 355 00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:38,425 free wireless internet thing agreement. 356 00:13:38,427 --> 00:13:40,494 Check out the page I marked. 357 00:13:40,496 --> 00:13:43,263 - Yeah, "Gryzzl is not allowed to collect and use customer data 358 00:13:43,265 --> 00:13:45,966 for any purpose." It's pretty clear. See? 359 00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:49,436 - Look closer, amendment "C," addendum 14. 360 00:13:49,438 --> 00:13:53,540 It directs you to this appendix, which reroutes you to this one 361 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:57,311 which says, in a sub-footnote: 362 00:13:57,313 --> 00:13:58,445 - It says here they can gather and use 363 00:13:58,447 --> 00:14:00,380 any information they want. 364 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,216 How did I miss this? 365 00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:03,417 - Look at the revision date. 366 00:14:03,419 --> 00:14:06,253 December 18, 2015. 367 00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:09,356 That was the opening day of Star Wars: Episode VII. 368 00:14:09,358 --> 00:14:11,992 You were muttering that date in your sleep for months. 369 00:14:11,994 --> 00:14:14,962 They knew you'd be distracted. That's how they slipped it in. 370 00:14:14,964 --> 00:14:16,396 - I did this to the town. 371 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,398 It's my fault. 372 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,569 It's Ice Town all over again. 373 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:27,407 - Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy? 374 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,643 - Okay, this is what I can give you. 375 00:14:29,645 --> 00:14:33,080 No more janitorial duties, better parking spot, 376 00:14:33,082 --> 00:14:35,949 unlimited Mike and Ikes from the vending machine, 377 00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:38,418 and for salary, we're at 500 a week. 378 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,920 - 500 whats? 379 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,455 - Dollars, man. 380 00:14:41,457 --> 00:14:43,023 What about the rights to Johnny Karate? 381 00:14:43,025 --> 00:14:44,324 - We own the rights to Johnny Karate 382 00:14:44,326 --> 00:14:45,459 I can't bend on that one. 383 00:14:45,461 --> 00:14:47,160 - But I invented the character. 384 00:14:47,162 --> 00:14:48,128 - Well, invent another character. 385 00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:51,031 Uh, here you go: Kung-Fu Billy. 386 00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,266 Jeremy Punch-Guy. 387 00:14:52,268 --> 00:14:53,600 Ed Kick. 388 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,602 - Those are actually pretty great. 389 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,338 But Johnny Karate is special to me. 390 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:02,409 If we can't get the rights, I'm gonna walk. 391 00:15:02,411 --> 00:15:04,344 - He's making the biggest mistake of his life. 392 00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:06,079 He's walking out on Hank Muntak? 393 00:15:06,081 --> 00:15:08,282 I have six Lower Great Lakes Emmy Awards. 394 00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:10,317 I once sat in the original Batmobile. 395 00:15:10,319 --> 00:15:13,453 James Woods follows my niece on Twitter. 396 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,088 He's gonna regret this. 397 00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:17,190 - All this work, everything I've done 398 00:15:17,192 --> 00:15:19,459 for this city, it's all a wash now. 399 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,694 Everyone's gonna hate me again. 400 00:15:20,696 --> 00:15:22,496 - Some of us are already there, Wyatt. 401 00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:26,033 - This is not your fault. Ron, talk some sense into him. 402 00:15:26,035 --> 00:15:28,435 - Ben's right. This is Ice Town all over again. 403 00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:29,336 - I-- - Ron! 404 00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:30,637 - If you're gonna sign 405 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,239 a legally binding document, 406 00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:33,640 you need to read it thoroughly. 407 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:35,409 That's why the only contract I've ever signed 408 00:15:35,411 --> 00:15:38,211 is my Mulligan's Steakhouse club card. 409 00:15:38,213 --> 00:15:40,380 And even then, I used a fake name. 410 00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:42,015 Les. 411 00:15:42,017 --> 00:15:43,717 Les Vegetables. [chuckles] 412 00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:45,252 - Don't worry, okay? 413 00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:46,954 You're not gonna take the fall for this. 414 00:15:46,956 --> 00:15:49,990 Ron, make sure that Donna doesn't hurt him. 415 00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:54,528 - Yes, can you tell me where Jennifer is? 416 00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:56,029 - I convincer her to quit. 417 00:15:56,031 --> 00:15:58,165 - [sighs] Martha Stewarts apron line, 418 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,667 my tomato plants-- oh, God, I'm out! 419 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,135 Where is my emergency list? 420 00:16:02,137 --> 00:16:03,737 - Recently, I've been feeling 421 00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:06,373 like I've wasted the last ten years of my life, 422 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,108 and it all started with this internship, 423 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:11,144 and I don't want those kids to make the same mistake, okay? 424 00:16:11,146 --> 00:16:13,547 - April, you spent the last ten years doing amazing things 425 00:16:13,549 --> 00:16:15,215 with this Parks department, and learning 426 00:16:15,217 --> 00:16:16,984 from the greatest teacher in this or any business, 427 00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:18,585 Leslie Freaking Knope! 428 00:16:18,587 --> 00:16:20,454 You'd be a checkout girl at a gas station 429 00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:22,656 if it wasn't for that internship. 430 00:16:22,658 --> 00:16:24,358 [sighs] 431 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,094 Sweet potato pie, unlikely animal friend pairings, 432 00:16:27,096 --> 00:16:29,296 Jennifer Love Hewitt. 433 00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,131 You're lucky to have worked here, 434 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:33,467 no matter what you want to do with the rest of your life. 435 00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:35,469 And I think you know that. 436 00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:40,640 And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a new intern. 437 00:16:40,642 --> 00:16:43,343 - Now Leslie, I understand that what you've brought 438 00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:45,412 to the show isn't a box of objects 439 00:16:45,414 --> 00:16:48,482 but rather a symbolic box of allegations. 440 00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:51,685 - Well, Perd-- - It's "Judge Perd." 441 00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:54,521 - Okay, uh, I think there are certain questions 442 00:16:54,523 --> 00:17:00,227 about certain aspects of certain parts of this situation 443 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:05,399 that require an evaluation about whether or not 444 00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:08,402 this is or is not a valid argument. 445 00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:10,170 - Extremely well-put. 446 00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:11,705 - Excuse me, Judge Perd? 447 00:17:11,707 --> 00:17:13,540 I'm Ben Wyatt, City Manager. 448 00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:16,410 What Gryzzl is doing with our private information 449 00:17:16,412 --> 00:17:21,415 may not technically be illegal, but it's definitely not chill. 450 00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:24,251 - Whoa! That's a serious allegaysh, homie. 451 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:25,452 We are hella chill. 452 00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:27,721 And frankly, if you don't like our vibe, 453 00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:29,289 you don't have to use our shizz. 454 00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:31,258 - Well, we kind of do. 455 00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,193 I mean, the internet is no longer optional, 456 00:17:33,195 --> 00:17:35,495 it's a necessity for everyone. 457 00:17:35,497 --> 00:17:38,698 And I think you do know that data-mining isn't chill, 458 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:42,135 because you snuck it into the 27th update 459 00:17:42,137 --> 00:17:46,139 of a 500-page user agreement. 460 00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:49,409 A person should not have to have an advanced law degree 461 00:17:49,411 --> 00:17:51,478 to avoid being taken advantage of 462 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,214 by a multibillion dollar company. 463 00:17:54,216 --> 00:17:57,451 You should be upfront about what you're doing 464 00:17:57,453 --> 00:18:01,354 and allow people the ability to opt out. 465 00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:06,093 To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. 466 00:18:06,095 --> 00:18:08,862 I've also misplaced my judge hammer. 467 00:18:08,864 --> 00:18:13,800 Therefore, I must declare a mistrial, which is a term 468 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,470 I've heard people use in the movies. 469 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,605 Tap, tap, tap. Case ended. 470 00:18:18,607 --> 00:18:20,340 - And we're clear. 471 00:18:20,342 --> 00:18:21,808 - All right, later, dudes. 472 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:24,711 . 473 00:18:24,713 --> 00:18:28,648 for a janitor at the TV station. 474 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:29,783 Get this--they're gonna pay me the minimum wage. 475 00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:31,852 - Put your mop down, bud. 476 00:18:31,854 --> 00:18:33,220 I got you the rights to Johnny Karate. 477 00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:34,721 - No way! How? 478 00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:36,556 - Just a great agent I guess. 479 00:18:36,558 --> 00:18:38,291 Please, man, please! 480 00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:40,560 Andy's my friend, and I want to do a good job, 481 00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:45,165 and she lives in Chicago, and she's still dating someone, 482 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,666 and I just feel like-- - Oh, God. 483 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,235 - Do you want to eat at my restaurant for free? 484 00:18:48,237 --> 00:18:50,203 Every week, you could come once a week, and it's free. 485 00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:52,706 - Okay, okay, fine. J-just stop! 486 00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,875 - See? 487 00:18:54,877 --> 00:18:57,577 That's actually really good advice for anything. 488 00:18:57,579 --> 00:19:00,380 If there's something that you want badly, 489 00:19:00,382 --> 00:19:03,283 you just have to believe that it's gonna work out. 490 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:09,823 - Hey, I am sorry that I screwed up your life. 491 00:19:09,825 --> 00:19:13,226 I found a bunch of new potential interns to replace Jen. 492 00:19:13,228 --> 00:19:14,294 all: Hi. 493 00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:15,495 - How'd you manage that? 494 00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:17,697 - I just thought, "What would Leslie do?" 495 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:21,368 So I handed out flyers and I canvassed the college. 496 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,170 I even baked a bunch of cookies. 497 00:19:23,172 --> 00:19:26,273 It was weird, I actually enjoyed finding them. 498 00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:28,842 And I enjoyed bullying Jen into quitting. 499 00:19:28,844 --> 00:19:30,777 - Hmm. You should add "telling people what to do" 500 00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:32,546 to your "perfect job" description. 501 00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:33,847 - Good idea. 502 00:19:33,849 --> 00:19:35,615 You should up your therapy to seven times a week, 503 00:19:35,617 --> 00:19:38,351 stop dressing that way, and give me your wallet. 504 00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:41,955 - Victor Garber, James Garner, Jennifer Garner. 505 00:19:41,957 --> 00:19:43,890 I go alphabetical now. 506 00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,826 - Hey, you're back! How was the trip? 507 00:19:46,828 --> 00:19:49,663 - It was okay. Kind of weird. 508 00:19:49,665 --> 00:19:51,198 - Oh. Weird couple of days for me too. 509 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,800 Closed a bunch of deals, did a bunch of crunches... 510 00:19:53,802 --> 00:19:56,369 - Yeah, I broke up with Conrad. - [gasps] 511 00:19:56,371 --> 00:19:59,906 - Which was a long time coming, but still weird. 512 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,676 - So yeah, uh, do you want to talk about it? 513 00:20:02,678 --> 00:20:05,345 - Thanks. I don't think I'm ready to discuss it just yet. 514 00:20:05,347 --> 00:20:07,781 But what I would like to do is have a glass of wine 515 00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,549 and talk about that shade Nicki Minaj 516 00:20:09,551 --> 00:20:11,518 threw at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTA awards. 517 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,587 - Mm. He deserved it. - No. he didn't! 518 00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:17,591 because I have some very strong feelings about this. 519 00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:18,858 [thunder rumbling] 520 00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:20,894 - [sighs] They're all down. 521 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,996 - Thank God. Sometimes I think they're 522 00:20:22,998 --> 00:20:24,864 somehow the first humans who don't need sleep. 523 00:20:24,866 --> 00:20:27,367 - Look, this Gryzzl thing, it's complicated. 524 00:20:27,369 --> 00:20:29,836 But this isn't Ice Town. 525 00:20:29,838 --> 00:20:31,538 You have done so much for this town, 526 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,607 and people know that. 527 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:34,874 - I'm just sorry we couldn't find something 528 00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:36,576 illegal on Gryzzl. 529 00:20:36,578 --> 00:20:38,345 If we're gonna stop them, and you're gonna beat them 530 00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:41,248 on the Newport land, we need more ammo. 531 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,549 [doorbell dings] 532 00:20:46,754 --> 00:20:48,722 - We need to talk. 533 00:20:48,724 --> 00:20:52,726 - This is a flying robot I just shot out of the sky 534 00:20:52,728 --> 00:20:54,861 after it delivered a package to my house. 535 00:20:54,863 --> 00:20:57,864 - I thought you didn't like to pass judgment on business-- 536 00:20:57,866 --> 00:21:00,734 - The package was addressed to my son, 537 00:21:00,736 --> 00:21:02,669 who is four years old, 538 00:21:02,671 --> 00:21:05,472 and does not own a Gryzzl doodad. 539 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:07,874 Somehow the robots looked at Diane's computer 540 00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:09,876 and learned something about my child 541 00:21:09,878 --> 00:21:12,279 and then brought him a box of presents, 542 00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,813 so I destroyed the robot. 543 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,315 [metal clatters] No one is safe 544 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:18,718 from these bastards. Tell me what to do, Leslie. 545 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,886 [thunder rumbles] 546 00:21:19,888 --> 00:21:22,989 I wanna help you take them down.