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It's The Johnny Karate Super
Awesome Musical Explosion Show.
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Now, to introduce your host,
Johnny Karate,
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here is me, Perd Hapley!
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Silence!
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Welcome to the only show
that's all about learning,
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music, animals, fireworks,
water skis,
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and above all, ice cream, pizza,
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ninjas, getting stronger,
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sharks versus bears,
and above all...
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- karate!
- Hiya!
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00:00:43,642 --> 00:00:46,544
Now, why don't you kids
help me sing The Welcome Song!
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Let me just grab my guitar.
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Someone has stolen my guitar.
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This seems like a case
for Special Agent...
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Burt Macklin.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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I don't give a crap, Batman.
You work for me.
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Increase the perimeter!
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Macklin, the President's
called six times.
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If we don't get
that guitar back,
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the peace in Iraq
will be canceled.
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Get off my back, Chief!
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I'm doing the best I can.
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I don't play by the rules.
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But I get results.
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Dang it!
You're right again, Macklin.
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And I'm sorry.
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You're the best agent I've seen.
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And I've worked with James Bond.
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- This clue may help.
- Mm.
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It was left at the crime scene.
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You're dismissed.
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This case just keeps getting
deeper and deeper.
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I'm drowning
in the adult end of the pool,
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and the lifeguard's off
in the bathroom pooping.
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That's good writing.
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Johnny Karate's guitar
has been stolen.
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That instrument is worth
literally $900 million.
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But more importantly, he can't
play The Good-bye Song
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without it.
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So, by the time this show
is over,
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I will find who stole it,
and they will pay
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the ultimate price.
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A one-way ticket
to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!
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All that and more,
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on The Johnny Karate Super
Awesome Musical Explosion Show!
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♪ It's time to punch boredom
in its stupid face ♪
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♪ Jump, kick, punch, and jump ♪
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♪ And drop-kick sadness
into outer space ♪
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♪ Punch, kick till you drop ♪
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♪ It's the Johnny Karate
Super Awesome ♪
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♪ Musical Explosion Show ♪
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So, karate masters, you are here
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for an extra-awesome
and super-special episode
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of Johnny Karate.
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And that is because
it's my final show.
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Aw.
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Don't look glum.
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In a couple of weeks, I'll be
moving to Washington, D.C.
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It's the capital
of the entire world.
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They have things there
like this white house
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and this mental institution
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and my very favorite,
the Lincoln Memorial.
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It's this crazy statue
of this giant monster
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sitting on a chair
that represents
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all of America's enemies.
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I'll be moving
to Washington, D.C.,
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because my wife,
April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer,
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has accepted
an amazing job there.
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I'm very proud of her
and totally in love.
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April, why don't you come on out
and talk to the children?
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Take a bow for being so cool.
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Hey, Johnny!
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So, since it's your final show,
I wanted to do
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one last extra-special
April's Animal Corner.
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That's right.
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This week
I brought one of the scariest,
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weirdest animals
in the whole world--
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a goliath
bird-eating tarantula.
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Wow!
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Ah!
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Now, the name, "goliath"
means "giant."
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And you can see that--
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- Andy, where is it?
- What?
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- Uh-oh.
- Where is it?
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Don't look at me.
I don't know what happened.
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I took it out to play
hide-and-seek.
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I couldn't find it,
and then--
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Oh, that's what happened.
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Okay, well, once again,
April's Animal Corner
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has turned into one
of our favorite segments--
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Loose Animal in the Studio.
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Yay!
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And as always,
when we accidentally end up
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doing
Loose Animal in the Studio,
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we have to show you
this disclaimer.
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Boring!
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Here's a disclaimer,
I didn't read this disclaimer.
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Ooh, good point.
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Okay. Done.
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Okay, kids,
so be on the lookout for a--
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What's it called?
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A goliath bird-eating
tarantula,
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known locally to Venezuelans
as "the devil's fist."
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Bye, kids!
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Okay, kids, well,
we've got a lot of work to do,
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performing the Five Karate
Moves to Success.
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Sing it with me!
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♪ Today we're gonna make
something ♪
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♪ Learn something ♪
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♪ Karate chop something ♪
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♪ And then we'll try
something new ♪
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♪ Even if it's scary to you ♪
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♪ And finally
we'll have some fun ♪
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♪ Being nice to someone ♪
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♪ Because that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
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Step one--
let's go make something.
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Hello, Carpenter Ron.
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How are you doing?
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My contract is very specific.
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I do not have to answer
that question.
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This week I am making
a shadowbox frame,
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which can be used to display
an object of great value.
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This one is constructed
with American cherry wood.
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Cherry, huh?
Now, I have just one question--
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No, the wood does not taste
like cherry.
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You cannot eat it.
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I was not going to eat it,
Carpenter Ron.
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I was going to lick it.
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Always remember, kids,
when you find something new,
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you must lick it
before you eat it.
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That is incorrect
in a number of ways.
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I sure have had some fun
making things with you, son.
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Thank you
for everything you've done
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for the children of this area.
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You're welcome, Carpenter Ron.
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Hey, kids, this, to me,
seems like a...
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♪ Hug moment ♪
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You are mistaken.
Remove the graphic.
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Well, kids, it's time for our
next "Karate Move to Success."
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Let's learn something.
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Hello, Professor Smartbrain.
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Hi, Johnny.
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Listen, I don't know
if you got my email,
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but I thought that
since this is our final show,
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maybe we not use the--
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Boring buzzer.
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Okay, kids, today we're gonna
learn about geography.
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Now, you, Johnny, are moving
to Washington, D.C.
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I thought what we could talk
about is how fast
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you could get there using
an airplane, a train, or a car.
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Now, as you can see,
the airplane is the fastest.
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Not the fastest.
What about teleporting?
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Well, sure,
that would be really fun,
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but it's impossible.
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Nothing is impossible, kids.
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Teleportation is impossible.
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It's about theoretical physics.
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You know, you asked me
to do this. This was a favor--
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Morning, Johnny.
Mail call.
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Ya!
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Hi, Mailman Barry.
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Who brought me mail today?
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00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,324
Well, Johnny,
you got over 500 letters
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from kids who love you, asking
for you and April to stay.
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Aw, babe, did you hear that?
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Now, Johnny, you also got
one very special letter.
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It's from me.
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And on the last day
of your show,
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I thought I could read it
to you.
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Aw.
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"Dearest Andy, I have never
had a son of my own,
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and I just want you to know
that for the past ten years"--
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It's time to karate chop something!
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Ninjas, attack!
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Oh, jeez.
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Disperse!
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Remember, never attack
a real postal employee.
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We're allowed
to attack Mailman Barry
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because he volunteered to
help us with our karate moves.
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I kind of thought
I'd be holding a piece of wood
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or something, but, you know...
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always happy to help.
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Next up, we're going
to try something new,
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with my good friend
Leslie Knope.
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Hey, Johnny Karate,
I'm so happy to be here
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on your last show ever.
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Hi, Leslie.
I'm glad you're here
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to teach us all how to be brave.
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So, Leslie, what are you going
to be trying new this week?
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I am going to be taking over
hosting my friend's TV show.
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Huh?
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Isn't that right, April?
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That is right.
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Johnny, you have made
so many kids
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and so many parents so happy,
that we wanted to give you
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a proper send-off.
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00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,972
Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate,
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this is your life.
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00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:36,214
Oh, my gosh, Leslie,
this is amazing.
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I don't know what to say...
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literally, because normally
I have a script
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that I have to stick to, but...
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I don't know what I'm supposed
to say right now.
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It's kind of a nightmare.
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00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:49,560
Okay, you leave that
to us, Johnny.
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00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,629
Uh, when we come back,
we will take a look
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00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,598
at the journey of Andy Dwyer.
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00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:55,033
Stay tuned.
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00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,902
"Now listen to some words
from our sponsors,"
211
00:08:57,936 --> 00:09:01,906
are the words I'm saying
right now.
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00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:04,409
Hire Very Good Building Company
213
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:05,843
for your construction needs.
214
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:06,844
Or do not.
215
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,013
I am not a beggar.
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00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:25,263
End of commercial.
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00:09:28,446 --> 00:09:30,478
The Wamapoke people
have a saying--
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00:09:30,513 --> 00:09:33,081
"Only one who listens
hears the cry of the wolf."
219
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:38,052
That advice has been passed down
from generation to generation.
220
00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:40,855
Today I give that advice to you.
221
00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:43,992
Listen for Coinsy the Wolf
at Wamapoke Casino.
222
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:47,295
Twice a day, one lucky visitor
will hit the mega-wolf jackpot.
223
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:49,697
And Coinsy will howl for you!
224
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:03,878
The thing we return to now
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00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:06,981
is my Johnny Karate Show
return message.
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00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:09,951
Welcome back.
When I first met the man
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00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,387
standing next to me, he was not
a cultural phenomenon.
228
00:10:12,421 --> 00:10:16,224
"Phenomenon" means
"to explore a cave."
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00:10:16,258 --> 00:10:17,792
He was going through
a tough time.
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00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,728
He had just broken both legs
from falling into a pit.
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00:10:20,763 --> 00:10:22,063
I was super wasted.
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00:10:22,098 --> 00:10:23,498
- It's a kids' show, Andy.
- Yes, good call.
233
00:10:23,532 --> 00:10:24,899
- Kids' show.
- Good call.
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00:10:24,934 --> 00:10:28,770
That event set in motion many
wonderful things in my life,
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00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:30,405
including the building
of the Pawnee Commons.
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00:10:30,439 --> 00:10:34,809
So, in a weird way, Andy,
I owe it all to you.
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00:10:34,844 --> 00:10:35,844
And now that the show is ending,
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00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:37,278
I'm gonna have to start
all over again.
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00:10:37,313 --> 00:10:39,447
Hopefully there's a pit
in Washington, D.C.,
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00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:40,682
that I could fall into.
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00:10:40,716 --> 00:10:43,418
Andy pulled his life together,
and he got himself a job
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00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:45,754
at the shoe-shine stand
in City Hall.
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00:10:45,788 --> 00:10:48,323
He then became
a bureaucratic assistant.
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00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,624
- Hi, honey.
- Hey. Hi.
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00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,559
He was always enthusiastic.
246
00:10:51,594 --> 00:10:53,294
But he also kept track
of his appointments
247
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:55,330
by writing them on his arm.
248
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,765
Still do.
249
00:10:56,799 --> 00:10:58,066
To commemorate that time
and to make sure
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00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,135
that you never miss
another appointment again,
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00:11:00,169 --> 00:11:03,938
we have brought you
a monogrammed day planner.
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00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:06,174
Guys...
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00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,776
So sweet.
254
00:11:07,810 --> 00:11:08,777
Thank you.
255
00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:10,512
Aw.
256
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,280
Oh, no.
I lost it.
257
00:11:12,314 --> 00:11:13,615
The day planner's gone.
I can't find it anywhere.
258
00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:16,751
What?
259
00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,486
Fitting, really.
260
00:11:18,521 --> 00:11:21,356
From then, Andy went
to England for a few months
261
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,991
to work for a nonprofit.
262
00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:24,526
It was there that he befriended
263
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:27,328
the 14th Earl
of Cornwall-upon-Thames,
264
00:11:27,363 --> 00:11:28,329
Sir Edgar Covington.
265
00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:30,031
Ta-da!
266
00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:32,200
Oh, my God, Eddie,
this is amazing!
267
00:11:34,703 --> 00:11:38,239
Andy, I am here in this weird,
flat place,
268
00:11:38,274 --> 00:11:42,677
to name you a loyal and true
karate defender
269
00:11:42,712 --> 00:11:43,678
of the Queen's Realm.
270
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,384
Please get down on one knee.
271
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,821
This honor is bestowed on those
who have shown great achievement
272
00:11:52,855 --> 00:11:56,825
in fields of the arts, learning,
literature, and science.
273
00:11:56,859 --> 00:11:59,928
Therefore, I hereby dub thee
274
00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:03,431
a knight of the Order
of the British Empire.
275
00:12:03,466 --> 00:12:05,900
Hang on,
can you actually do this?
276
00:12:05,935 --> 00:12:07,902
Well, technically, only
the Queen can knight somebody,
277
00:12:07,937 --> 00:12:10,839
but I'm so rich that she lets me
do what I want.
278
00:12:10,873 --> 00:12:12,407
Would you like to be knighted?
279
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:13,842
Oh, no, no, no, no.
280
00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:15,810
No, of course not.
It's Andy's day.
281
00:12:15,845 --> 00:12:16,845
Dude, I don't mind.
282
00:12:16,879 --> 00:12:18,159
Oh, then, yes,
knight me, please.
283
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,248
Oh, my God, this is amazing!
284
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:23,118
Winter is coming
for Sir Ben Lightstorm.
285
00:12:23,152 --> 00:12:24,419
Okay, you're both knights.
286
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,420
Cool.
287
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,856
Guys, this was so much fun.
288
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:31,292
Friend, coworker, musician,
husband, Andy Dwyer--
289
00:12:31,327 --> 00:12:32,494
Sir Andy Dwyer.
290
00:12:32,528 --> 00:12:34,396
Sir Andy Dwyer had become
so many things
291
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:35,497
to so many people.
292
00:12:35,531 --> 00:12:37,532
But his greatest creation
was yet to come.
293
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:40,635
A salute to Johnny Karate
when we come back.
294
00:12:43,704 --> 00:12:44,905
We know what you want--
295
00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:47,340
healthy, natural food
that still tastes great.
296
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:48,442
And we're here to tell you...
297
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,079
It doesn't exist.
298
00:12:52,113 --> 00:12:53,713
Healthy food is for suckers.
299
00:12:53,748 --> 00:12:55,148
It tastes like garbage,
300
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:57,651
and if you say you like it,
you're a chump and a liar.
301
00:12:57,685 --> 00:12:59,986
Be honest.
This is what you want to eat...
302
00:13:02,790 --> 00:13:04,257
It tastes amazing.
303
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:05,992
What's in it?
Who cares?
304
00:13:06,027 --> 00:13:07,584
How many calories?
Shut up.
305
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,563
It's awesome.
306
00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,626
One of Andy's
greatest achievements
307
00:13:17,661 --> 00:13:19,702
was the success of his band,
Mouse Rat.
308
00:13:19,822 --> 00:13:21,645
No one was doing
what we were doing.
309
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:22,780
Well, that's not really true.
310
00:13:22,814 --> 00:13:24,015
I mean, we were basically
playing covers
311
00:13:24,049 --> 00:13:25,449
of Dave Matthews songs.
312
00:13:25,484 --> 00:13:27,818
So I guess you could say
Dave Matthews
313
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:29,387
was doing what we were doing.
314
00:13:29,421 --> 00:13:31,789
Oh, to play in a band
like Mouse Rat
315
00:13:31,823 --> 00:13:34,458
that brought such joy to so many
316
00:13:34,493 --> 00:13:37,128
truly was a mitzvah.
317
00:13:37,162 --> 00:13:39,330
I should mention
I'm a rabbi now.
318
00:13:39,364 --> 00:13:41,032
For the full rockumentary, go to
319
00:13:41,066 --> 00:13:44,402
TheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesome
MusicalExplosion.com.
320
00:13:44,436 --> 00:13:46,203
And now, back to the show.
321
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:52,309
Every hero struggles
with failure,
322
00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,578
faces something they cannot do.
323
00:13:54,613 --> 00:13:56,847
Andy faced one of those moments
just a few years ago.
324
00:13:56,882 --> 00:13:59,150
And I would've chugged
that entire gallon of milk
325
00:13:59,184 --> 00:14:01,085
had I not started puking
out of nowhere.
326
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:02,753
No, you did not achieve
your dream
327
00:14:02,788 --> 00:14:04,889
of becoming
a Pawnee police officer.
328
00:14:04,923 --> 00:14:05,923
Oh, right.
329
00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:07,325
But you did create Burt Macklin,
330
00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:09,927
a character who exemplifies
everything that is great
331
00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:10,928
about law enforcement.
332
00:14:10,962 --> 00:14:12,463
Take a look.
333
00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:16,834
My name is
Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin.
334
00:14:23,342 --> 00:14:24,909
I don't know
what the problem is, Sergeant.
335
00:14:24,943 --> 00:14:27,011
Just drain the ocean.
336
00:14:39,424 --> 00:14:41,959
Andy, on behalf of the entire
Pawnee Police Department,
337
00:14:41,993 --> 00:14:43,861
I'd like to present you
with this genuine
338
00:14:43,895 --> 00:14:45,429
- Pawnee police badge.
- Wow.
339
00:14:45,464 --> 00:14:47,631
It's ensconced forever
in the shadowbox
340
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:49,266
- we made earlier.
- How about that?
341
00:14:49,301 --> 00:14:51,869
No.
342
00:14:51,903 --> 00:14:54,638
Son, we spent four days
making that.
343
00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:57,808
This means so, so much to me.
344
00:14:57,843 --> 00:14:58,943
I'm a cop.
345
00:14:58,977 --> 00:15:00,217
I should get some handcuffs too.
346
00:15:00,245 --> 00:15:01,646
- Give me your cuffs, Randy.
- No, no, no.
347
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,880
- Give me your cuffs.
- It's an honorary title only.
348
00:15:02,914 --> 00:15:04,582
- Stand down, sir.
- Stop it! Quit!
349
00:15:04,616 --> 00:15:05,983
Andy, now that you're
an official police officer...
350
00:15:06,018 --> 00:15:07,585
He's not. I want to make
it clear--he's not.
351
00:15:07,619 --> 00:15:10,454
You should be able to solve
the case of the missing guitar.
352
00:15:10,489 --> 00:15:14,392
So grab your clue and head
on over to Professor Smartbrain.
353
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,995
Professor Smartbrain,
this piece of fabric
354
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,363
was found at the scene.
355
00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:20,932
Look at it under your telescope.
356
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:22,032
Hmm.
357
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,068
It looks like there are
some tiny initials.
358
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:27,204
"J.C."?
359
00:15:27,239 --> 00:15:30,341
President Jimmy Carter
stole my guitar?
360
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:31,542
But why?
361
00:15:31,576 --> 00:15:34,345
I don't think
it's Jimmy Carter, buddy.
362
00:15:34,379 --> 00:15:36,814
The champ is here!
363
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,618
Hi, kids, is everybody
having a great time?
364
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,654
I know I am!
365
00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:45,156
John Cena in the house!
366
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:47,058
John Cena, you're my hero.
367
00:15:47,092 --> 00:15:49,393
- Wait, you're Andy.
- Yeah, I'm Andy.
368
00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:50,695
From the information I got,
369
00:15:50,729 --> 00:15:52,430
I just assumed you'd be, like,
ten years old.
370
00:15:52,464 --> 00:15:54,965
- Thank you.
- Okay, great. Thank you.
371
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,568
Thank you so much, man,
for bringing martial arts
372
00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,737
and music to all the children--
373
00:15:59,771 --> 00:16:01,005
Wait, wait,
what are you doing, man?
374
00:16:01,039 --> 00:16:01,972
- Got you.
- Got me?
375
00:16:02,007 --> 00:16:03,107
- What?
- He got my cuffs.
376
00:16:03,141 --> 00:16:04,508
Wait.
What the hell is this?
377
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:06,310
John Cena, you're a great
inspiration, a true hero,
378
00:16:06,345 --> 00:16:08,179
and this is the greatest moment
of my life.
379
00:16:08,213 --> 00:16:09,146
But you're going down.
380
00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:10,181
Going down?
What are you--
381
00:16:10,182 --> 00:16:11,182
Whoa!
Hey, stop--
382
00:16:11,216 --> 00:16:12,249
You stole Johnny Karate's guitar.
383
00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:13,564
I didn't steal his guitar, man.
384
00:16:13,585 --> 00:16:14,685
I'm just doing this as a favor.
385
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,160
You're going
in the dunk tank, bud.
386
00:16:16,188 --> 00:16:17,221
I don't want to go
in the dunk tank.
387
00:16:17,255 --> 00:16:18,789
- Shut up.
- Is anybody in charge?
388
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:20,358
A little help?
389
00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:23,160
And now it's time to celebrate
Andy Dwyer's greatest creation--
390
00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:24,128
Johnny Karate.
391
00:16:26,531 --> 00:16:29,500
He has brought so much happiness
to so many children
392
00:16:29,534 --> 00:16:32,937
in southern Indiana that we
thought a piece of Johnny Karate
393
00:16:32,971 --> 00:16:34,972
should stay here in Pawnee.
394
00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:45,583
♪ Everybody was
Kung Fu fighting ♪
395
00:16:45,617 --> 00:16:47,385
Raise it up.
396
00:16:47,419 --> 00:16:51,589
♪ Those kicks were fast
as lightning ♪
397
00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:54,025
This is awesome.
Can you believe it, babe?
398
00:16:54,059 --> 00:16:57,728
♪ In fact, it was
a little bit frightening ♪
399
00:16:57,763 --> 00:17:00,798
That karategi
will stay here forever.
400
00:17:00,832 --> 00:17:03,367
Well, not here here,
because this studio
401
00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:05,403
actually has a show
where divorced couples
402
00:17:05,437 --> 00:17:06,837
work out their problems.
403
00:17:06,872 --> 00:17:08,306
So that might be weird if that
thing was hanging over them.
404
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:09,473
But it'll be somewhere.
405
00:17:09,508 --> 00:17:14,378
And the spirit will stay
with us forever.
406
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:17,181
Andy Dwyer's final good-bye
when we come back.
407
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:22,720
What powers us?
408
00:17:22,754 --> 00:17:24,689
What gives us the tools
to attain our goals,
409
00:17:24,723 --> 00:17:28,192
face our fears, take
that next step into the unknown?
410
00:17:28,226 --> 00:17:29,960
It's energy.
411
00:17:29,995 --> 00:17:32,763
Verizon, Exxon, and Chipotle
are proud to announce
412
00:17:32,798 --> 00:17:36,133
a cross-platform merger
of our three great brands.
413
00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:38,536
Whether it's extending
your 6G coverage,
414
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,438
drilling natural gas
out of shale,
415
00:17:40,472 --> 00:17:42,473
or perfecting
the chicken quesadilla,
416
00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:45,843
we will give you the energy
to get you to the next level.
417
00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:50,047
And with enough energy, America,
nothing can stop us.
418
00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:53,184
The all-new
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon--
419
00:17:53,218 --> 00:17:56,428
proud to be one
of America's 8 companies.
420
00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:05,235
I'd like to begin by saying
thank you
421
00:18:05,269 --> 00:18:06,670
to anyone who has ever worked
422
00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:10,273
on the Johnny Karate
Musical Explosion Show.
423
00:18:10,308 --> 00:18:13,243
This has been the greatest job
I've ever had,
424
00:18:13,277 --> 00:18:16,279
and today has been
the best day of my life.
425
00:18:16,314 --> 00:18:18,415
And that's saying something.
426
00:18:18,449 --> 00:18:21,051
I once found a rock that looked
exactly like Santa Claus--
427
00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:23,653
hat and everything, so...
428
00:18:23,688 --> 00:18:26,089
Before I say good-bye,
let's review our checklist
429
00:18:26,124 --> 00:18:27,224
one last time.
430
00:18:27,258 --> 00:18:29,459
We made something
with Carpenter Ron.
431
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:31,762
We learned something
with Professor Smartbrain.
432
00:18:31,796 --> 00:18:33,430
We karate chopped something--
433
00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:35,365
old Mailman Barry's face.
434
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,301
And we tried something new,
even though it was scary to us,
435
00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:40,237
with Leslie Knope.
436
00:18:40,271 --> 00:18:42,773
That leaves just one more thing,
437
00:18:42,807 --> 00:18:45,442
the most important one.
438
00:18:45,476 --> 00:18:48,245
Be nice to someone.
439
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,714
And I think I know right now
who needs it the most--
440
00:18:50,748 --> 00:18:55,519
my wife,
April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer.
441
00:18:55,553 --> 00:18:57,621
Honey, come on out here.
442
00:18:57,655 --> 00:18:58,889
Come here.
443
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:01,391
Babe.
444
00:19:01,426 --> 00:19:02,826
Hey, babe?
445
00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:05,662
Wait!
446
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:07,264
Honey, where are you going?
447
00:19:07,298 --> 00:19:09,066
Babe, hey, will you--
448
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:10,167
Hey, come here.
449
00:19:10,201 --> 00:19:13,236
April, what's going on?
450
00:19:13,271 --> 00:19:16,673
It's...
451
00:19:16,707 --> 00:19:19,943
Every week, this show
is an amazing train wreck,
452
00:19:19,977 --> 00:19:23,013
and you love doing it,
and you're the best host,
453
00:19:23,047 --> 00:19:25,382
like, even better
than my all-time favorite host,
454
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:27,117
Tom Snyder, which is crazy.
455
00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:29,052
And all those kids love you,
456
00:19:29,087 --> 00:19:32,556
and you're doing
what you're meant to do.
457
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,891
And I can't be the person that
makes you lose what you love.
458
00:19:34,926 --> 00:19:36,126
Yeah, but you're what I love.
459
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,295
You're the only reason
I have any of this.
460
00:19:38,329 --> 00:19:41,164
You believed in me,
and you supported me.
461
00:19:41,199 --> 00:19:43,400
You make me happy...
462
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:46,069
happier than I ever thought
I could be.
463
00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:48,939
Without you,
I wouldn't be anything.
464
00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:51,508
You're what keeps me going.
465
00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:54,845
You're my
Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon.
466
00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:57,981
As long as I'm with you,
I'm gonna be happy.
467
00:19:58,016 --> 00:20:00,450
So we go to Washington, D.C.
468
00:20:00,485 --> 00:20:01,685
And then we figure out
469
00:20:01,719 --> 00:20:04,888
the next cool and awesome thing
from there, okay?
470
00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:09,159
Okay.
471
00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:11,540
That was a very good
"Being Nice to Someone."
472
00:20:12,138 --> 00:20:13,299
I did it.
473
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:14,797
I can go finish the show.
474
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:21,543
♪ Well it's time for us to go ♪
475
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:26,801
♪ But I want you all to know ♪
476
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:29,003
♪ That karate's
not about fighting ♪
477
00:20:29,038 --> 00:20:31,239
♪ It's about knowing
who you are ♪
478
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,441
♪ And being kind and honest ♪
479
00:20:33,476 --> 00:20:35,110
♪ While you're kicking
for the stars ♪
480
00:20:35,144 --> 00:20:41,116
♪ Yeah, that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
481
00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:46,888
♪ Keep karate in your heart ♪
482
00:20:46,922 --> 00:20:49,691
♪ And aspire to your dreams ♪
483
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:51,259
♪ And always remember ♪
484
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,361
♪ You're forever on my team ♪
485
00:20:53,396 --> 00:20:59,267
♪ Yeah, that's
the Johnny Karate way ♪
486
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,468
Karate yell!
487
00:21:00,503 --> 00:21:02,070
Hiya!
488
00:21:02,104 --> 00:21:04,305
Good-bye, Pawnee.
I will miss you.
489
00:21:06,409 --> 00:21:07,375
Guys?
490
00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:08,376
Guys?
491
00:21:08,411 --> 00:21:10,278
Guys!
492
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,613
Tarantula.
493
00:21:13,682 --> 00:21:15,717
Could somebody get me
out of here, please?
494
00:21:15,751 --> 00:21:17,185
I'll help you, John Cena.
495
00:21:17,219 --> 00:21:18,920
No--