1
00:00:00,537 --> 00:00:01,804
Also I'm retiring.
2
00:00:01,839 --> 00:00:03,439
That's three, Garry.
3
00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:05,541
But we're probably due
for some good news.
4
00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:06,743
Good evening.
5
00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:08,311
I come to you tonight
with some good news...
6
00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:09,679
Hey.
7
00:00:09,713 --> 00:00:12,014
Is not a sentence I will be
saying to you right now,
8
00:00:12,049 --> 00:00:15,952
because beloved Pawnee Mayor
Walter Gunderson has died.
9
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:21,758
Well, you jinxed us, Garry.
Thanks a lot.
10
00:00:24,728 --> 00:00:32,602
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:41,612 --> 00:00:45,615
Walter Gunderson
served Pawnee for 39 years.
12
00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,583
And as per his final wish,
13
00:00:47,618 --> 00:00:49,652
his body will lie in state
14
00:00:49,686 --> 00:00:52,321
in the city council chambers
for a day,
15
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:56,025
which is just a real cool thing
for a public space.
16
00:00:56,059 --> 00:00:58,327
Also, he sent us
a brief video message
17
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,897
to be played for this event.
18
00:01:00,931 --> 00:01:03,466
Hello, Pawnee.
19
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,003
My time in office
has come to an end.
20
00:01:07,037 --> 00:01:09,105
A lot has been done.
21
00:01:09,139 --> 00:01:11,774
But I wasn't really
doing very much.
22
00:01:11,809 --> 00:01:14,210
I wasn't paying attention
most of the time.
23
00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:16,813
Fortunately,
the citizens of Pawnee
24
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:18,748
didn't pay attention either.
25
00:01:18,782 --> 00:01:21,951
So if there's credit to take,
26
00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:23,719
I will humbly take it.
27
00:01:23,754 --> 00:01:27,690
And if there is blame...
28
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:29,325
it's your fault.
29
00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:31,194
Thank you.
30
00:01:31,228 --> 00:01:33,062
Good-bye forever.
31
00:01:33,097 --> 00:01:34,363
Uh, okay.
32
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,332
Well, that was really something.
33
00:01:36,366 --> 00:01:39,335
People are dying,
moving, retiring.
34
00:01:39,369 --> 00:01:41,671
Too many endings.
Not enough beginnings.
35
00:01:41,705 --> 00:01:45,108
We need something to begin,
and I have just the thing--
36
00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:48,211
an underground
dance competition.
37
00:01:48,245 --> 00:01:50,246
I'm realizing I know nothing
about the logistics
38
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,114
of how to start an underground
dance competition,
39
00:01:52,149 --> 00:01:54,317
but someone here will.
40
00:01:54,351 --> 00:01:56,753
Hey, April, will you
help me out with something?
41
00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:57,787
No.
42
00:01:57,821 --> 00:01:59,188
Apparently as city manager,
43
00:01:59,223 --> 00:02:00,857
I'm in charge of appointing
an interim mayor
44
00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:02,525
until the special election.
45
00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:04,727
So why don't
you just appoint yourself?
46
00:02:04,762 --> 00:02:06,863
You're basically
running the town anyway.
47
00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:09,198
Well, I was a mayor once before.
48
00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:10,666
We all remember how that went.
49
00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:12,468
Oh, yeah, you completely
disgraced yourself
50
00:02:12,503 --> 00:02:14,637
and destroyed an entire town.
51
00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:16,439
Yeah, I said we all remember.
52
00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:18,274
Now, will you help me
find someone?
53
00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:20,109
It can be anyone
over the age of 30
54
00:02:20,144 --> 00:02:22,378
who's a good symbolic face
for the town.
55
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,013
Fine, whatever.
I'll help you, okay?
56
00:02:24,048 --> 00:02:25,882
Thank you.
I told Garry he could help too.
57
00:02:25,916 --> 00:02:27,850
- What?
- Oh, notarizing a new mayor,
58
00:02:27,885 --> 00:02:30,520
that is--well, it's like
the ultimate notary adventure.
59
00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:32,321
Oh, it's big.
60
00:02:32,356 --> 00:02:34,123
Les-legally Blonde!
61
00:02:34,158 --> 00:02:35,792
Got you a little gift
in New York.
62
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:37,293
You did?
63
00:02:37,327 --> 00:02:38,761
What did you get me?
Ooh-la-la.
64
00:02:38,796 --> 00:02:40,963
Men's Ferragamo loafers?
65
00:02:40,998 --> 00:02:42,498
What am I supposed
to do with these?
66
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,100
Yeah, you're right.
I should probably keep them.
67
00:02:44,134 --> 00:02:46,536
They're a size 6 1/2.
Too small for you anyway.
68
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:47,970
- How was your trip?
- Amazing.
69
00:02:48,005 --> 00:02:49,205
A lot of great meetings.
70
00:02:49,239 --> 00:02:51,040
Plus, Lucy and I
had the best time.
71
00:02:51,075 --> 00:02:52,375
It's for real, Leslie.
72
00:02:52,409 --> 00:02:54,010
We even went to a jewelry store
and looked at rings.
73
00:02:54,044 --> 00:02:55,411
No!
74
00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:57,780
Shia LaBeouf is one hell of
a jewelry designer, by the way.
75
00:02:57,815 --> 00:02:58,848
Man's really found his calling.
76
00:02:58,882 --> 00:03:00,183
This is perfect.
77
00:03:00,217 --> 00:03:01,484
With everything ending,
78
00:03:01,518 --> 00:03:03,753
you guys are the happy beginning
that we all need.
79
00:03:03,787 --> 00:03:05,788
You should propose to her,
right now, here.
80
00:03:05,823 --> 00:03:07,757
What better place to ask
a woman to marry you
81
00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:09,959
than an old man's
public memorial?
82
00:03:09,994 --> 00:03:11,160
Yeah, I think
I'm probably gonna wait.
83
00:03:11,195 --> 00:03:12,328
Plus, Lucy's not in town.
84
00:03:12,362 --> 00:03:13,529
She's in Philadelphia
visiting friends.
85
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:14,931
She gets back tomorrow.
86
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:16,566
Yeah, you'd probably want
her here for that, right?
87
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,000
All right, I'm gonna find April.
88
00:03:18,035 --> 00:03:21,304
I got her a really nice
Burberry necktie.
89
00:03:21,338 --> 00:03:23,673
Gunderson was mayor
my entire life.
90
00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:27,110
Really makes you consider
the "postulence" of time.
91
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:28,411
Sure.
92
00:03:28,445 --> 00:03:30,012
Death is natural, Andrew.
93
00:03:30,047 --> 00:03:32,782
We're born, we survive
as long as we're useful,
94
00:03:32,816 --> 00:03:34,283
and then we're killed,
95
00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:36,052
either by our body's
natural decay
96
00:03:36,086 --> 00:03:37,553
or by those
younger and stronger.
97
00:03:37,588 --> 00:03:38,955
Speak for yourself.
98
00:03:38,989 --> 00:03:41,023
Before I die, I'm freezing
my head like Ted Williams.
99
00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:42,859
Wait a thousand years,
thaw it out,
100
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:45,395
slap it on a robot,
keep on balling.
101
00:03:45,429 --> 00:03:46,496
Ron.
102
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,530
Carl.
103
00:03:47,564 --> 00:03:49,132
Donna, Andy, this is Carl.
104
00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:52,735
He owns the deli right next
to my barber Salvatore's shop.
105
00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:54,036
It's terrible, isn't it?
106
00:03:54,071 --> 00:03:57,240
First Salvatore
and now Mayor Gunderson.
107
00:03:57,274 --> 00:04:00,309
What? What happened?
Explain yourself!
108
00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:01,844
Oh, Ron, you didn't hear?
109
00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,846
Salvatore passed away yesterday.
110
00:04:03,881 --> 00:04:05,882
- No.
- Jeez.
111
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,818
No, it can't be.
112
00:04:08,852 --> 00:04:11,988
Was he killed
by a younger, stronger barber?
113
00:04:12,022 --> 00:04:13,656
And now here to say a few words
114
00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:17,093
is Mayor Gunderson's
longtime friend and coworker
115
00:04:17,127 --> 00:04:18,428
Ethel Beavers.
116
00:04:18,462 --> 00:04:20,063
This is gonna be so sad.
117
00:04:20,097 --> 00:04:21,597
They worked together
for a long time.
118
00:04:21,632 --> 00:04:23,065
I'll be brief.
119
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,168
Walter Gunderson and his wife
120
00:04:25,202 --> 00:04:26,769
had an open marriage.
121
00:04:26,804 --> 00:04:31,007
It kept him happy.
It kept his wife happy.
122
00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:32,542
Hi, Evelyn.
123
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,178
And it definitely kept me happy.
124
00:04:35,212 --> 00:04:37,513
What is happening?
125
00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:40,650
Because for 46 wonderful years,
126
00:04:40,684 --> 00:04:42,585
he spent night after night
127
00:04:42,619 --> 00:04:47,056
exploring every nook and cranny
of my body.
128
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,059
Grow up, you prudes.
129
00:04:50,093 --> 00:04:51,327
We're all adults.
130
00:04:51,361 --> 00:04:53,629
My only regret
is that I never told him
131
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:55,364
how I really felt.
132
00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:57,066
So I'll say it now.
133
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:59,435
I loved that man.
134
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:02,572
And not just because
he was a dynamite lay.
135
00:05:07,444 --> 00:05:09,746
Good night, you animal.
136
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:11,648
Tom, listen to Ethel.
137
00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:13,216
Ugh, no, it's too gross.
138
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:14,717
No, listen to her message.
139
00:05:14,752 --> 00:05:16,586
You can't wait to tell someone
how you feel,
140
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,255
because if you wait,
before you know it, boom,
141
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:21,424
46 years later they're gone.
142
00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:22,425
You're right.
143
00:05:22,459 --> 00:05:23,726
We know we want
to be together forever.
144
00:05:23,761 --> 00:05:25,128
- So why wait?
- Exactly.
145
00:05:25,162 --> 00:05:26,462
And I will help you
with the proposal.
146
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:27,463
What do you want to do?
147
00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:28,531
Off the top of my head,
148
00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:30,600
I guess my ideal proposal
might be
149
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,435
a multiplatform
media experience,
150
00:05:32,469 --> 00:05:34,670
an action movie
with explosive graphics,
151
00:05:34,705 --> 00:05:36,906
fast cars, and a hero
with one mission--
152
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,408
to propose to his lady.
153
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:39,409
A hero named...
154
00:05:39,443 --> 00:05:41,244
Tom Haverford.
155
00:05:41,278 --> 00:05:43,813
- Okay!
- Yes!
156
00:05:43,847 --> 00:05:47,483
Oh, um, people grieve
in different ways.
157
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,225
Listen, if you can't train
200 white doves
158
00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:53,912
in the next four hours
to spell out
159
00:05:53,947 --> 00:05:55,347
"Lucy, will you marry me?"
160
00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:57,549
then you have no business
calling yourself a pet store.
161
00:05:57,584 --> 00:05:59,318
Why can't everyone
share our commitment
162
00:05:59,352 --> 00:06:01,186
to the basic concept
of outrageous pageantry?
163
00:06:01,221 --> 00:06:02,921
I don't know, Tom.
I really don't.
164
00:06:02,956 --> 00:06:04,723
Oh, no,
what do you want, Leslie?
165
00:06:04,757 --> 00:06:07,259
Hey, Ian. I need
a gigantic banner that says,
166
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:08,827
"Congratulations, Lucy and Tom,"
167
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:09,828
and I need it by tomorrow.
168
00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:10,929
No way.
Impossible.
169
00:06:10,964 --> 00:06:12,297
Over the past 15 years,
170
00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:15,567
I have spent nearly $100,000
at your banner store.
171
00:06:15,602 --> 00:06:16,935
I have ordered banners
172
00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:18,337
for every personal
and professional event
173
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:19,605
that I've ever organized.
174
00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:21,306
My credit card company
called me about it.
175
00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:22,774
Not to question the charges
176
00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:25,410
but to sincerely ask me
if I was mentally stable.
177
00:06:25,445 --> 00:06:27,546
See that Rolex Submariner
on your wrist, bro?
178
00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:28,814
That's 'cause of Leslie.
179
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:30,315
You'll have the banner done.
180
00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:34,286
Hey, Bobby,
thanks for coming in.
181
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,455
Good to see you guys.
It's been a while.
182
00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:39,825
How's Leslie?
Is she still, um...uh...
183
00:06:39,859 --> 00:06:41,226
Oh.
184
00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:42,728
What was that thing
we ran for again?
185
00:06:42,762 --> 00:06:44,129
City councilor.
186
00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,898
I don't know.
All right, if you say so.
187
00:06:45,932 --> 00:06:48,634
I tell you, it's so hard to
remember boring stuff like that.
188
00:06:48,668 --> 00:06:50,702
Choosing to ignore
what you just said,
189
00:06:50,737 --> 00:06:53,272
we need an interim mayor
just for two months.
190
00:06:53,306 --> 00:06:55,974
And given your family name
and how well-liked you are,
191
00:06:56,009 --> 00:06:57,543
I thought you might
be interested.
192
00:06:57,577 --> 00:06:59,111
- Mayor?
- Yeah.
193
00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:00,746
Man, that'll be fun.
194
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,414
God, I don't think
I can do it, though.
195
00:07:02,448 --> 00:07:04,550
Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready
to go on a big trip,
196
00:07:04,584 --> 00:07:05,918
to space.
197
00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:07,319
That'll be really fun too.
198
00:07:07,353 --> 00:07:09,588
Everything in life is always
just so fun, right?
199
00:07:09,622 --> 00:07:10,789
It really is.
200
00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:13,192
See, this guy knows what's what.
201
00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:14,660
- Yeah.
- That was--yeah.
202
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:16,194
Hey, Ben, have you ever
been to space?
203
00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:18,263
You should check it out.
Seriously.
204
00:07:18,298 --> 00:07:19,665
I'm sure the Russian guys
who built the rocket
205
00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:21,200
- would be cool with it.
- Really?
206
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,235
Just one thing,
do you have $600,000?
207
00:07:23,269 --> 00:07:25,337
It's just, that's what
they need for a deposit.
208
00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:27,739
Oh.
Well, no.
209
00:07:27,774 --> 00:07:29,107
I've already been to space.
210
00:07:29,142 --> 00:07:31,443
I was the second person
to walk on the moon.
211
00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:33,579
Buzz Aldrin.
Nice to meet you.
212
00:07:33,613 --> 00:07:34,847
Nice try.
213
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:38,383
That's the guy from Toy Story.
214
00:07:39,552 --> 00:07:41,186
We're so sorry, Ron.
215
00:07:41,221 --> 00:07:42,588
You guys were close?
216
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:45,157
I've seen Salvatore
the first Tuesday of the month
217
00:07:45,191 --> 00:07:47,693
for the past four decades.
218
00:07:47,727 --> 00:07:49,995
Same exact thing every time.
219
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:52,097
I paid him $8.
220
00:07:52,131 --> 00:07:53,665
I sat in the same chair.
221
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,968
Salvatore put
the same cape over me.
222
00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:58,837
Then he'd always ask me
about the same thing...
223
00:07:58,872 --> 00:08:02,441
nothing.
224
00:08:02,475 --> 00:08:04,142
It was perfect.
225
00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:07,246
Can't delay this forever.
Excuse me.
226
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:12,985
The three most important people
in a man's life
227
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:17,890
are his barber, his butcher,
and his lover.
228
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,593
I have lost one of those.
229
00:08:22,729 --> 00:08:25,030
Here's a tenner, Sal.
230
00:08:28,535 --> 00:08:30,002
As you know,
I don't believe in tipping,
231
00:08:30,036 --> 00:08:32,237
so I will collect
my change from your wife.
232
00:08:35,408 --> 00:08:39,378
I had an appointment with
Salvatore scheduled for Tuesday.
233
00:08:39,412 --> 00:08:41,313
Look how raggedy my hair is.
234
00:08:41,347 --> 00:08:43,549
What am I supposed to be,
some kind or rock star?
235
00:08:45,385 --> 00:08:47,419
Okay, Tom, there's your mark.
236
00:08:47,453 --> 00:08:48,887
You'll enter from the front.
237
00:08:48,922 --> 00:08:50,122
Ted, are we rolling?
238
00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:52,257
I think so.
I don't really know.
239
00:08:52,292 --> 00:08:54,026
Just please be careful
with my store.
240
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:56,228
Okay, quiet on the set!
241
00:08:56,262 --> 00:08:58,664
Action.
242
00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:01,533
Hello.
243
00:09:01,568 --> 00:09:04,269
Would you like to see
some rings, Agent Haverford?
244
00:09:04,304 --> 00:09:05,671
Why are you doing an accent?
245
00:09:05,705 --> 00:09:07,139
I came up with
a backstory for my character.
246
00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:08,607
She's married
to a French billionaire,
247
00:09:08,641 --> 00:09:11,410
and she has a twin sister,
identical, and they keep--
248
00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:12,511
Leslie, you have one line.
249
00:09:12,545 --> 00:09:15,214
Well, I committed to the role.
250
00:09:15,248 --> 00:09:16,515
Hello.
251
00:09:16,549 --> 00:09:19,184
Would you like to see
some gorgeous jewelry?
252
00:09:19,219 --> 00:09:22,688
We have the most rare diamonds
in the world.
253
00:09:22,722 --> 00:09:25,858
I'll take that one.
The most expensive one.
254
00:09:25,892 --> 00:09:28,494
Not so fast,
Haver-fraud.
255
00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:31,363
Ah,zut alors!
256
00:09:31,397 --> 00:09:34,266
Get 'em, boys!
257
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,668
Freeze!
Stunt double.
258
00:09:36,703 --> 00:09:38,036
Tom.
259
00:09:38,071 --> 00:09:39,204
Action!
260
00:09:39,239 --> 00:09:41,807
Go, my puppets!
Go, my puppets!
261
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:45,010
Fight, fight, my puppets!
262
00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:46,712
Rack focus.
Pan left.
263
00:09:46,746 --> 00:09:48,226
I don't know
what any of that means.
264
00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:50,516
Just get--get the right--
go under the--
265
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,184
Go, my puppets.
266
00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:53,519
Oh, that's it.
267
00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:55,187
Oh, you want the big dog.
268
00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,222
Is that what you want?
You want the big dog?
269
00:09:57,257 --> 00:09:58,957
Ahh!
270
00:10:05,799 --> 00:10:08,534
Lucy, your mission,
should you choose to accept it,
271
00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:10,836
is to marry me.
272
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:11,904
And cut.
273
00:10:11,938 --> 00:10:14,206
Oh, my gosh, Tom,
that was amazing!
274
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,374
No, it wasn't.
275
00:10:15,408 --> 00:10:17,009
You just destroyed my case.
276
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,811
Hey, it's
the movie business, Ted.
277
00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:21,013
You knew the risks.
Okay, everybody in the van.
278
00:10:21,047 --> 00:10:22,448
We're headed
to the next location.
279
00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:24,216
You should totally do it.
280
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,751
You'd be an amazing mayor.
281
00:10:25,785 --> 00:10:28,754
Actually, you should
be President of the universe.
282
00:10:28,788 --> 00:10:30,055
Oh.
283
00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,758
You know, I really would make
an incredible mayor.
284
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:35,160
But, sadly, I cannot,
285
00:10:35,195 --> 00:10:37,863
because I'm only 27 years old.
286
00:10:37,897 --> 00:10:38,831
Really?
287
00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:40,532
So you were born in the 1990s?
288
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:42,668
Ooh! Mmhmm.
289
00:10:42,702 --> 00:10:44,636
What a lovely offer,
but I think not.
290
00:10:44,671 --> 00:10:45,971
You know, I've got my hands full
291
00:10:46,006 --> 00:10:47,639
with my practice,
my other businesses,
292
00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:49,608
my two terrible children.
293
00:10:49,642 --> 00:10:51,577
I don't think I have time
to be mayor.
294
00:10:51,611 --> 00:10:53,278
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
295
00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:54,379
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
296
00:10:54,414 --> 00:10:56,381
Hold up.
I will do John Mayer.
297
00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:58,951
Again.
298
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:01,019
Daddy, someone set
a fire in your car
299
00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:03,622
♪ Because you took too long
and I got bored ♪
300
00:11:03,656 --> 00:11:06,358
Money, please.
301
00:11:06,392 --> 00:11:07,993
Oh, no, no.
There's no money.
302
00:11:08,027 --> 00:11:09,061
Oh.
303
00:11:09,095 --> 00:11:10,762
My bad.
No problem.
304
00:11:10,797 --> 00:11:12,331
- Oh, okay.
- That's fine.
305
00:11:12,365 --> 00:11:13,932
I'll just destroy this office.
306
00:11:13,967 --> 00:11:15,567
Whoa, hey!
307
00:11:17,771 --> 00:11:20,072
Money, please!
308
00:11:20,106 --> 00:11:21,473
Money, please.
309
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:22,875
My money, please?
310
00:11:22,909 --> 00:11:26,011
Ben, give her some money.
It's easier.
311
00:11:26,045 --> 00:11:28,347
I have to say, The Douche,
312
00:11:28,381 --> 00:11:31,283
I'm skeptical that
your interest is sincere.
313
00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:32,277
I can understand that.
314
00:11:32,285 --> 00:11:34,620
A morning shock-jock DJ,
the mayor?
315
00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:36,021
But keep an open mind.
316
00:11:36,055 --> 00:11:37,322
I went to Northwestern,
317
00:11:37,357 --> 00:11:39,024
I've worked
on two political campaigns,
318
00:11:39,058 --> 00:11:41,760
and I spend all of my time
communicating with the public.
319
00:11:41,795 --> 00:11:43,395
That's actually a good point.
320
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:45,531
I could do some great things
for this city.
321
00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:48,934
And some gross things with
those juicy city hall interns.
322
00:11:48,968 --> 00:11:50,235
Ga-ga-goink!
323
00:11:51,304 --> 00:11:53,972
Okay, well,
thanks for coming in.
324
00:11:54,007 --> 00:11:55,207
All right, B.
Let me know.
325
00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:56,942
Yeah.
Ah.
326
00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,243
Oh.
327
00:11:58,278 --> 00:11:59,578
Well, I think
we have our answer.
328
00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:01,079
Come on, think.
329
00:12:01,114 --> 00:12:02,548
There's got to be someone.
330
00:12:02,582 --> 00:12:04,950
Okay, Ben,
you know that I despise you
331
00:12:04,984 --> 00:12:06,752
and that I want you
and all people on Earth
332
00:12:06,786 --> 00:12:07,786
to be miserable, right?
333
00:12:07,821 --> 00:12:08,887
Sure.
334
00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:09,988
You should be mayor.
335
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:11,490
You're the best person
for the job,
336
00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:12,691
and you deserve it.
337
00:12:12,725 --> 00:12:14,459
Plus, this would erase Ice Town.
338
00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:16,662
It's been torturing you
since you were 18 years old.
339
00:12:16,696 --> 00:12:18,530
And if you became
mayor of Pawnee,
340
00:12:18,565 --> 00:12:21,900
you could put it behind you
once and for all.
341
00:12:21,935 --> 00:12:23,068
Ugh.
342
00:12:23,102 --> 00:12:25,003
Being nice made me
feel terrible.
343
00:12:25,038 --> 00:12:27,506
- My oral office!
- What?
344
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,508
I'm gonna turn
the mayoral office
345
00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:30,976
into my oral office.
346
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:32,244
Boom!
347
00:12:32,278 --> 00:12:34,046
Thought of it a second ago,
had to pop back in.
348
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,981
- Had to?
- Had to.
349
00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:37,616
Buck up, Swanson.
350
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:39,685
It's like you said,
death is natural.
351
00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:42,154
And Sal lived a good, long life.
352
00:12:42,188 --> 00:12:44,389
But so much is changing,
353
00:12:44,424 --> 00:12:46,892
and I've never been
a fan of change.
354
00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:50,963
Salvatore was a constant
in my life.
355
00:12:50,997 --> 00:12:54,266
In my experience,
the only constant is change.
356
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,435
Oh, shit.
357
00:12:56,469 --> 00:12:58,937
Nice to see you, Ron.
358
00:12:58,972 --> 00:13:00,772
I couldn't help but overhear.
359
00:13:00,807 --> 00:13:03,175
Sure am sorry about your loss.
360
00:13:03,209 --> 00:13:04,810
Every time we lose a compadre,
361
00:13:04,844 --> 00:13:07,746
our collective lantern
gets a little bit dimmer.
362
00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:09,014
Hey, you look awful familiar.
363
00:13:09,048 --> 00:13:10,149
Have we met before?
364
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,217
Oh, I'm sure our souls
have collided
365
00:13:12,252 --> 00:13:13,952
in one lifetime or another.
366
00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,354
No, that's not it.
367
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:16,822
Are you
in my Frisbee golf league?
368
00:13:16,856 --> 00:13:19,591
Oh, yeah.
I play for the Super Spinners.
369
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:21,093
Oh, I'm on the Frisbee Champs.
370
00:13:21,127 --> 00:13:22,661
- Oh, cool.
- I named us.
371
00:13:22,696 --> 00:13:24,696
Andrew, stop speaking
to this man.
372
00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:27,032
He is the worst human being
on Earth.
373
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:28,367
Oh, come on.
374
00:13:28,401 --> 00:13:30,469
Death makes brothers of us all.
375
00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:34,807
I've always found that
when my soul aches with loss,
376
00:13:34,841 --> 00:13:37,709
it's best to turn
to Eastern wisdom.
377
00:13:37,744 --> 00:13:40,679
This is from
the Isle of Islay in Scotland.
378
00:13:40,713 --> 00:13:43,082
This is as Eastern
as my wisdom gets.
379
00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:46,018
Swanson,
this handsome spiritual cowboy
380
00:13:46,052 --> 00:13:48,554
may actually be right
about turning to the East.
381
00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:50,189
I have an idea.
382
00:13:50,223 --> 00:13:52,725
Trust me?
383
00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:54,359
- Who cuts your hair?
- Nobody.
384
00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:57,262
Whenever my hair feels
it has completed its journey,
385
00:13:57,297 --> 00:13:59,331
it simply sheds itself off.
386
00:13:59,365 --> 00:14:02,134
I hate you so much.
387
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:04,703
And I love you, my brother.
388
00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:07,606
I'm really glad you were here
389
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,907
to help me with all this today.
390
00:14:08,942 --> 00:14:10,542
You've always been there for me.
391
00:14:10,577 --> 00:14:12,477
And I guess what
I'm trying to say is
392
00:14:12,512 --> 00:14:13,712
you're pretty cool.
393
00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:15,647
I'm cool?
I'm cool.
394
00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:17,116
I'm a cool dudette.
395
00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:18,650
Hey, it's pizza time.
396
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:19,985
And you've lost it.
397
00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:20,986
No!
398
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,321
Hey, there's Lucy.
399
00:14:24,457 --> 00:14:26,692
Hey, babe.
400
00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:27,860
We're calling this off.
It's all wrong.
401
00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:29,294
Oh, no.
Really?
402
00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:31,029
Is it because I said
"it's pizza time"?
403
00:14:31,064 --> 00:14:32,464
No, but that definitely
didn't help.
404
00:14:32,499 --> 00:14:33,766
What's happening?
405
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,069
Grab Jean-Ralphio
and get these three things.
406
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:38,737
And meet me
at The Snakehole Lounge
407
00:14:38,772 --> 00:14:39,772
in 30 minutes.
408
00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:41,127
I have no idea what's happening,
409
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,541
and I'm very scared that
everything is falling apart,
410
00:14:42,575 --> 00:14:44,095
but you seem
like James Bond right now.
411
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:45,157
- Go!
- Yes.
412
00:14:48,957 --> 00:14:50,925
Tommy T, we got you
everything you asked for.
413
00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:51,717
Ragaduk!
414
00:14:51,837 --> 00:14:53,158
I didn't ask
for flavored condoms.
415
00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:54,962
No, no, no, that's just me
looking out for you.
416
00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:57,131
See, girls get mad horny
when you propose.
417
00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:59,634
That's why I do it all the time.
418
00:14:59,668 --> 00:15:00,868
Okay, what are we doing?
419
00:15:00,903 --> 00:15:02,737
There are hundreds of people
waiting for us.
420
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:03,838
No time to explain, Les.
421
00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:05,112
But don't worry, I have a plan.
422
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,774
Fine.
I will leave.
423
00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:08,476
Good luck.
424
00:15:10,646 --> 00:15:12,313
You want to stay and hide
and watch the proposal?
425
00:15:12,347 --> 00:15:13,614
Yes!
Yes, of course!
426
00:15:13,649 --> 00:15:14,982
Okay, I already picked a place.
427
00:15:15,017 --> 00:15:16,317
Don't follow me!
428
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:17,752
But I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
429
00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:20,922
I can't believe
I'm about to be the mayor.
430
00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:22,824
I can't believe
I'm about to notarize it.
431
00:15:22,858 --> 00:15:24,725
Okay, so, look,
just sign right there,
432
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,929
and then we can let
the notary fireworks begin.
433
00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:33,835
You know what?
No, I don't want to do this.
434
00:15:33,869 --> 00:15:35,036
Why?
435
00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:37,939
I spent so long trying
to forget about Ice Town,
436
00:15:37,973 --> 00:15:40,074
but it's part of my life.
437
00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,742
I mean, it set me on this path.
438
00:15:41,777 --> 00:15:45,313
It led me to Pawnee,
to my job, to Leslie.
439
00:15:45,347 --> 00:15:47,281
I mean, who knows
where I'd be without it?
440
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:49,116
I like that Ice Town happened,
441
00:15:49,151 --> 00:15:51,686
and I don't want to erase it.
442
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,155
Okay, I wasn't listening
to anything you just said.
443
00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:57,225
But who is gonna be the mayor
for the next two months, then?
444
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:04,832
Garry Gergich,
445
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:07,668
how would you like to be the
next mayor of Pawnee, Indiana?
446
00:16:09,505 --> 00:16:11,038
No!
447
00:16:13,308 --> 00:16:15,276
What is all this?
448
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:17,411
Snakehole Lounge
is where we first met.
449
00:16:17,446 --> 00:16:20,748
On our first date,
I gave you a single daisy,
450
00:16:20,782 --> 00:16:22,083
like this.
451
00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:24,285
And after that, we ate
late-night pancakes at JJ's.
452
00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:26,787
And while we were there,
I pulled out a deck of cards,
453
00:16:26,822 --> 00:16:28,789
and I tried to show you
a magic trick
454
00:16:28,824 --> 00:16:30,992
I learned off
a David Blaine special.
455
00:16:31,026 --> 00:16:32,693
Unsurprisingly, I failed,
456
00:16:32,728 --> 00:16:35,329
and you made fun of me,
ruthlessly.
457
00:16:35,364 --> 00:16:36,864
I haven't done this trick
in a while,
458
00:16:36,899 --> 00:16:38,332
but I think I'm ready
to try it again.
459
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,268
Pick a card.
460
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:41,369
No, no, no, no.
461
00:16:41,403 --> 00:16:43,104
Go a little bit over
to the left.
462
00:16:43,138 --> 00:16:45,473
There you go.
463
00:16:50,946 --> 00:16:52,180
Yes!
464
00:16:52,214 --> 00:16:53,281
- Really?
- Yes!
465
00:16:53,315 --> 00:16:54,282
Yay.
466
00:16:54,316 --> 00:16:57,485
Oh, my God, that was so sweet.
467
00:16:57,519 --> 00:16:58,786
It really was.
468
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,454
So what's your story again?
469
00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,390
I mean, like,
how married are you?
470
00:17:02,424 --> 00:17:04,492
You down to clown?
You in that rude mood?
471
00:17:04,526 --> 00:17:05,726
Why are you like this?
472
00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:07,695
Pills, baby!
473
00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:10,164
Donna, this is crazy.
474
00:17:10,199 --> 00:17:11,699
Typhoon is an artist,
and the human head--
475
00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:13,101
Is his canvas.
476
00:17:13,135 --> 00:17:15,236
Just listen, you're gonna
cut the man's hair.
477
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,205
You're gonna charge him $8.
478
00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:18,739
It'll take you four minutes.
479
00:17:18,774 --> 00:17:21,509
So just shut up and make
the man look like this.
480
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:22,543
Fine.
481
00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:24,011
Ugh.
482
00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:30,351
So, Typhoon, what do you
like to do for fun?
483
00:17:30,385 --> 00:17:32,920
I'm writing an electronic
opera about Brittany Murphy,
484
00:17:32,955 --> 00:17:34,222
and I do the chandelier design
485
00:17:34,256 --> 00:17:36,057
for my friend's
drag puppet show.
486
00:17:36,091 --> 00:17:37,759
No further questions.
487
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:39,494
All I really want to do
is dance.
488
00:17:39,528 --> 00:17:41,229
Except lately
all the good warehouse raves
489
00:17:41,263 --> 00:17:43,431
are filled with Eurotrash.
490
00:17:43,465 --> 00:17:46,434
"Eurotrash," I like that.
491
00:17:46,468 --> 00:17:48,503
It is, indeed,
a garbage continent.
492
00:17:48,537 --> 00:17:50,338
Yes.
Oh, my God.
493
00:17:50,372 --> 00:17:52,073
I had the worst time
in Berlin last May.
494
00:17:52,107 --> 00:17:53,941
Everyone was
on their stupid bikes.
495
00:17:53,976 --> 00:17:55,276
I was like, "Ew."
496
00:17:57,012 --> 00:18:00,114
Please, talk more about how
you hate Europe and bicycles.
497
00:18:02,217 --> 00:18:03,551
Sorry about the audible.
498
00:18:03,585 --> 00:18:04,865
I just realized
Lucy doesn't care
499
00:18:04,887 --> 00:18:06,020
about all that flashy stuff.
500
00:18:06,054 --> 00:18:07,455
That's not the way to her heart.
501
00:18:07,489 --> 00:18:09,090
Frankly, I'm stunned
she's still even into me.
502
00:18:09,124 --> 00:18:10,992
No, you were right
to change course.
503
00:18:11,026 --> 00:18:12,760
It was perfect and beautiful.
504
00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:14,729
There's still
a very big celebration
505
00:18:14,763 --> 00:18:16,531
awaiting you and your fiancée.
506
00:18:16,565 --> 00:18:19,333
I think Lucy probably wants
to hang just the two of us.
507
00:18:19,368 --> 00:18:21,202
I'll see you later,
Jennifer Knopez.
508
00:18:21,236 --> 00:18:23,204
Catch you on the flip side,
Tom-egranate Juice.
509
00:18:23,238 --> 00:18:24,539
Hey, not bad.
510
00:18:27,509 --> 00:18:28,910
Hey, babe.
511
00:18:28,944 --> 00:18:30,278
Tom got engaged.
512
00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:32,180
Oh, that's awesome.
513
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:33,748
More good news.
514
00:18:33,782 --> 00:18:35,883
I finally found someone
to be mayor--
515
00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,218
Garry.
516
00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:38,619
Oh, so glad we're leaving.
517
00:18:38,654 --> 00:18:40,721
Wait, you know what?
518
00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:43,157
I just had an amazing idea.
519
00:18:43,192 --> 00:18:44,992
Just under the wire.
520
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:47,195
Oh, Ian, thank you so much.
521
00:18:47,229 --> 00:18:49,163
It's great.
Now throw it out.
522
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:51,165
I need a new one,
and I need it in 20 minutes.
523
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,166
Ugh.
524
00:18:52,201 --> 00:18:53,241
Look, if you didn't want
525
00:18:53,268 --> 00:18:55,002
to be on call 24-7
for emergencies,
526
00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:56,704
then you should not have gone
into the high-stakes world
527
00:18:56,738 --> 00:18:57,905
of banner making!
528
00:19:00,193 --> 00:19:01,514
What the hell is all this about?
529
00:19:01,528 --> 00:19:03,329
You'll see.
530
00:19:03,363 --> 00:19:05,431
Well, I got to say,
531
00:19:05,465 --> 00:19:07,134
that was a heck of a lot of fun.
532
00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:10,628
What on Earth?
533
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:13,435
Happy Inauguration Day, buddy.
534
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,634
Oh, jeez, Leslie.
535
00:19:38,312 --> 00:19:41,414
The passing of our beloved Mayor Gunderson
536
00:19:41,534 --> 00:19:43,660
marks the end of an era.
537
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:46,377
But we are about to begin a new chapter
538
00:19:46,497 --> 00:19:47,880
in Pawnee's history.
539
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,321
Ladies and gentlemen,
540
00:19:49,441 --> 00:19:52,939
the new mayor of the great city of
Pawnee, Indiana,
541
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,196
Garry Gergich.
542
00:19:55,535 --> 00:19:57,749
I just want to say...
543
00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:07,834
I'm flying!
544
00:20:08,403 --> 00:20:15,255
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com