1 00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:34,215 PRINCIPAL: Principal Vagina here... 2 00:00:34,299 --> 00:00:36,342 Don't let the name fool you. I'm very much in charge... 3 00:00:36,426 --> 00:00:39,262 reminding you that tonight is our annual Flu Season Dance. 4 00:00:39,346 --> 00:00:41,305 I don't know how many times I have to say this, 5 00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,266 but if you have the flu, stay home. 6 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:44,350 Hey. 7 00:00:44,351 --> 00:00:46,185 The Flu Season Dance is about awareness, not celebration. 8 00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,603 [ sighs ] 9 00:00:47,688 --> 00:00:49,522 You don't bring dead babies to Passover. 10 00:00:49,606 --> 00:00:53,609 Okay. Here we go. H-Hey, Jessica. Uh... 11 00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:55,653 What's up, Morty? [ sneezes ] 12 00:00:55,737 --> 00:00:56,946 What are you doing? 13 00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:58,656 - Um... - Wait, wait. 14 00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,867 Were you about to talk... to her? 15 00:01:00,951 --> 00:01:03,369 Well... I mean, I was thinking about it. 16 00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:05,413 Dude, stay in your league. 17 00:01:05,497 --> 00:01:07,748 Look at how hot she is. You don't see me going... 18 00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:09,584 to a bigger school in a wealthier district 19 00:01:09,668 --> 00:01:11,252 and hitting on their prettiest girl. 20 00:01:11,336 --> 00:01:12,670 Gee, thanks, Brad. 21 00:01:12,754 --> 00:01:14,380 I throw balls far. 22 00:01:14,464 --> 00:01:15,965 You want good words? 23 00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:17,675 Date a languager. 24 00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:19,510 JERRY: Try not to worry about it, Morty. 25 00:01:19,595 --> 00:01:21,345 You're a good kid, and there's not a premium 26 00:01:21,430 --> 00:01:23,230 on that right now, but you'll be getting girls 27 00:01:23,265 --> 00:01:24,891 sometime after Brad's out of shape. 28 00:01:24,975 --> 00:01:26,615 [ sighing ] You're missing the point, Dad. 29 00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:29,186 I don't want girls. I want Jessica. 30 00:01:29,271 --> 00:01:32,064 Ah, well, I remember feeling that way 31 00:01:32,149 --> 00:01:34,233 about a young lady named "your mom," 32 00:01:34,318 --> 00:01:35,693 and that's not an urban diss. 33 00:01:35,777 --> 00:01:37,278 Your mom was my Jessica. 34 00:01:37,362 --> 00:01:38,779 I remember the first time I saw her. 35 00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:40,323 I thought... - "I should get her pregnant, 36 00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:41,824 and then she'll have to marry me." 37 00:01:41,909 --> 00:01:44,035 I beg your pardon, Rick... inappropriate. 38 00:01:44,119 --> 00:01:45,703 Sorry, please proceed with your story 39 00:01:45,787 --> 00:01:47,413 about banging my daughter in high school. 40 00:01:47,497 --> 00:01:49,832 I'm not sure you wanna take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. 41 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,834 His marriage is hanging from a thread. 42 00:01:51,919 --> 00:01:54,211 My marriage is fine, thank you. 43 00:01:54,296 --> 00:01:55,838 Jerry, it's your house... whatever you say it is 44 00:01:55,923 --> 00:01:57,715 is how it is... but I think a blind man could see 45 00:01:57,799 --> 00:01:59,425 that Beth is looking for the door. 46 00:01:59,509 --> 00:02:01,719 I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed. 47 00:02:01,803 --> 00:02:04,013 Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that. 48 00:02:04,097 --> 00:02:05,848 Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, 49 00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,516 but what people call "love" 50 00:02:07,601 --> 00:02:09,882 is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 51 00:02:09,937 --> 00:02:12,521 It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, 52 00:02:12,606 --> 00:02:14,523 leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. 53 00:02:14,608 --> 00:02:16,525 I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. 54 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:17,902 Break the cycle, Morty. 55 00:02:17,986 --> 00:02:19,779 Rise above. Focus on science. 56 00:02:19,863 --> 00:02:21,781 [ slurps ] 57 00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:24,742 All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. 58 00:02:24,826 --> 00:02:28,621 Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom. 59 00:02:28,705 --> 00:02:29,914 [ dog barking ] 60 00:02:29,998 --> 00:02:33,084 Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? 61 00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:35,920 I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. 62 00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:37,880 It's gonna be great. - Hey, listen, Rick. 63 00:02:37,965 --> 00:02:39,757 Y-Y-You know how you said that, you know, 64 00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:41,841 love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? 65 00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:43,125 Well, I was thinking, you know, 66 00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:45,805 w-w... could you make some sort of chemical thing happen 67 00:02:45,889 --> 00:02:47,348 inside of Jessica's mind, you know, 68 00:02:47,432 --> 00:02:49,016 so where she falls in love with me 69 00:02:49,101 --> 00:02:50,518 and all that sort of thing? 70 00:02:50,602 --> 00:02:52,603 You know, like, some sort of love potion or something? 71 00:02:52,688 --> 00:02:54,288 Morty, that's such a poor use of my time. 72 00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:56,607 It's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. 73 00:02:56,692 --> 00:02:58,275 You know what? No, Rick! 74 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,902 I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver. 75 00:02:59,987 --> 00:03:01,987 I-I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! 76 00:03:01,989 --> 00:03:04,323 I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. 77 00:03:04,408 --> 00:03:06,492 W-W-W-W-W-What about me, Rick? 78 00:03:06,576 --> 00:03:08,494 W-W-W-W-Why can't you just help me out once... 79 00:03:08,578 --> 00:03:09,912 once... for once? 80 00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:12,081 [ groans ] You're growing up fast, Morty. 81 00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:15,167 You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. 82 00:03:15,252 --> 00:03:17,169 Listen, this is called oxytocin. 83 00:03:17,254 --> 00:03:18,629 I extracted it from a vole. 84 00:03:18,714 --> 00:03:20,339 Do you know what a vole is, Morty? 85 00:03:20,424 --> 00:03:22,091 You know what a vole is? It's a... it's a rodent 86 00:03:22,175 --> 00:03:23,801 that mates for life, Morty. 87 00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,245 This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, you know, 88 00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:27,596 that makes it fall in love. 89 00:03:27,681 --> 00:03:29,932 I just gotta... [burps] combine it with your DNA. 90 00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:31,767 Oh, well, okay. 91 00:03:31,852 --> 00:03:33,769 A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. 92 00:03:33,854 --> 00:03:35,521 This isn't "Game of Thrones." 93 00:03:35,605 --> 00:03:37,064 Ow! 94 00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:39,069 All right, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on 95 00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:41,111 will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. 96 00:03:41,194 --> 00:03:43,112 Are you happy now, Morty? - Heck, yeah! 97 00:03:43,196 --> 00:03:45,197 Thank you, Grandpa Rick. 98 00:03:45,282 --> 00:03:47,074 Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, 99 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:48,617 or side effects, right? 100 00:03:48,702 --> 00:03:50,286 W-W-W-What am I, a hack? 101 00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:52,538 Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof. 102 00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:57,126 Eh, unless she has the flu. 103 00:03:57,210 --> 00:04:00,004 Beth, do y-you still love me? 104 00:04:00,088 --> 00:04:02,423 Ugh, what kind of question is that? 105 00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:04,341 The "yes or no" kind? [ laughs nervously ] 106 00:04:04,426 --> 00:04:06,844 Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? 107 00:04:06,928 --> 00:04:08,095 Yes. 108 00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,180 Are you gonna build them? 109 00:04:09,264 --> 00:04:10,306 No. 110 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,974 Then what good was the "yes"? 111 00:04:12,059 --> 00:04:14,977 Wait, i-is loving me the house or the homeless people? 112 00:04:15,062 --> 00:04:17,855 Loving you is work, Jerry... hard work, 113 00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:19,857 like building a homeless shelter... 114 00:04:19,941 --> 00:04:21,776 nobody wants to say no to doing it, 115 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,486 but some people put the work in. 116 00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:25,654 So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? 117 00:04:25,739 --> 00:04:28,032 Does this conversation seem tedious to me? 118 00:04:28,116 --> 00:04:29,366 Sort of. 119 00:04:29,451 --> 00:04:31,077 Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? 120 00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:32,411 [ cellphone chimes ] 121 00:04:32,496 --> 00:04:34,163 So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more. 122 00:04:34,247 --> 00:04:36,165 Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. 123 00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:37,416 Puh! This late? 124 00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,710 The racetrack had a starlight derby. 125 00:04:39,795 --> 00:04:41,253 There was a seven-horse collision, 126 00:04:41,338 --> 00:04:43,214 and Davin's there alone. 127 00:04:43,298 --> 00:04:46,133 [ thinking ] Davin. Davin. 128 00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:48,344 Davin! Davin. 129 00:04:48,428 --> 00:04:50,679 Davin! Davin! 130 00:04:50,764 --> 00:04:53,057 Davin! Davin! 131 00:04:53,141 --> 00:04:55,059 [ rapping ] ♪ Flu, yo. You gotta be aware ♪ 132 00:04:55,143 --> 00:04:57,061 ♪ Aware of all the flu up in the air ♪ 133 00:04:57,145 --> 00:04:59,730 ♪ I'm-a get me a shot, make the flu go away ♪ 134 00:04:59,815 --> 00:05:02,024 ♪ Flu-hating rapper, just rapping away ♪ 135 00:05:02,109 --> 00:05:04,401 ♪ Yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ 136 00:05:04,486 --> 00:05:05,736 ♪ It's a flu-hating rap ♪ 137 00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:10,116 Hey, there, Jessica. Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 138 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,660 Oh, my god. Morty. 139 00:05:12,744 --> 00:05:14,912 You look really nice tonight. 140 00:05:14,996 --> 00:05:17,915 - Wow, thanks. - I love you, Morty! 141 00:05:17,999 --> 00:05:19,917 I love you so much it burns! 142 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:22,920 Oh, man! I-I love you too, Jessica! 143 00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:24,130 [ spits ] 144 00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:26,132 ls this punk bothering you, Jessica? 145 00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:28,551 Leave him alone, jerk! I'm in love with him! 146 00:05:28,635 --> 00:05:30,553 He is more man than you will ever be! 147 00:05:30,637 --> 00:05:31,762 [ sneezes ] 148 00:05:31,847 --> 00:05:33,722 [ rapping ] ♪ This is about flu awareness ♪ 149 00:05:33,807 --> 00:05:36,350 ♪ Gotta be aware of the flu in the air-ness ♪ 150 00:05:36,434 --> 00:05:38,686 ♪ Yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ 151 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,688 Oh, man, Morty. [ sighs ] 152 00:05:40,772 --> 00:05:42,356 I'm really sorry. 153 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,775 Oh, well, n-no problem, Brad. 154 00:05:44,860 --> 00:05:47,027 There's something special about you, Morty... 155 00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:48,445 so special. 156 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,447 Whoa, take it easy! Get your hands off of him! 157 00:05:50,532 --> 00:05:52,449 Back off! I'm trying to be with my man! 158 00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,034 That's enough, Bradley! 159 00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:55,786 We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. 160 00:05:55,871 --> 00:05:57,288 Oh, come on, Principal Vagina. I just... 161 00:05:57,372 --> 00:05:59,540 Never leave me, Morty. Never! 162 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:02,585 Uh, sure. I mean, o-of course not. 163 00:06:02,669 --> 00:06:05,087 W-What do you think that was all about? 164 00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:06,839 Who cares? Just hold me. 165 00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:09,258 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 166 00:06:09,342 --> 00:06:10,467 [ sneezes ] 167 00:06:10,552 --> 00:06:12,094 Let go of me! 168 00:06:12,179 --> 00:06:14,847 [ sneezes ] Morty! 169 00:06:19,269 --> 00:06:21,562 JERRY: She's gonna be alone with that guy all night. 170 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:23,564 Yeah, Dad, digging around the insides of horses. 171 00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:25,357 It's not a very romantic setting. 172 00:06:25,442 --> 00:06:27,109 RICK: Well, Summer, there's always the possibility 173 00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:28,819 that she made the whole work thing up. 174 00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:30,821 Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides. 175 00:06:30,906 --> 00:06:33,782 Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom. 176 00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,451 Well, she's my daughter, Summer. 177 00:06:35,535 --> 00:06:36,952 I outrank you. 178 00:06:37,037 --> 00:06:39,705 Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card. 179 00:06:39,789 --> 00:06:41,498 She's not responding to my texts! 180 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:43,959 Careful, Dad. Jealousy turns women off. 181 00:06:44,044 --> 00:06:45,711 Well, isn't that convenient? 182 00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:47,504 Not for the men they cheat on, no. 183 00:06:47,589 --> 00:06:49,924 Okay, I'm... going to go out... 184 00:06:50,008 --> 00:06:51,258 for some ice cream. 185 00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:52,843 And maybe stop by the hospital... 186 00:06:52,928 --> 00:06:54,803 to support my wife... 187 00:06:54,888 --> 00:06:57,097 with my confidence. [ door closes ] 188 00:06:57,182 --> 00:06:59,308 God, Grandpa, you're such a dick. 189 00:06:59,392 --> 00:07:02,102 I'm sorry, Summer. Your opinion means very little to me. 190 00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:04,271 How come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves? 191 00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:06,273 Screw that. I don't wanna get sick. 192 00:07:06,358 --> 00:07:08,025 It's flu season. - It is? 193 00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:09,735 - Yeah. - Uh-oh. 194 00:07:09,819 --> 00:07:12,780 [ hip-hop music plays ] 195 00:07:15,283 --> 00:07:17,201 Please just let this work out. 196 00:07:17,285 --> 00:07:20,162 [ moans ] Do it, Morty. Do it. 197 00:07:20,247 --> 00:07:23,207 Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! 198 00:07:23,291 --> 00:07:24,291 [ growls ] 199 00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:27,086 Um... can we maybe go somewhere more private? 200 00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:29,255 Jessica, get a hold of yourself! 201 00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:30,839 [ grunts ] 202 00:07:30,924 --> 00:07:33,592 You don't deserve to carry Morty's genes. 203 00:07:33,677 --> 00:07:35,803 [ rapping ] ♪ I love Morty ♪ 204 00:07:35,887 --> 00:07:38,305 ♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪ 205 00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:41,016 ♪ I'd like to wrap my arms around him ♪ 206 00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:43,310 ♪ and feel him inside me ♪ 207 00:07:43,395 --> 00:07:44,895 Oh, crap. 208 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:47,398 [ indistinct shouting ] 209 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:49,400 JESSICA: Morty! 210 00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:51,902 Morty, come on! We gotta get you out of here. 211 00:07:51,987 --> 00:07:53,904 You won't believe this 'cause it usually never happens, 212 00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:55,364 but I made a mistake. 213 00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:56,782 [ both panting ] 214 00:07:56,866 --> 00:07:58,575 Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. 215 00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,493 Come on. - Morty! 216 00:07:59,577 --> 00:08:00,703 - MORTY: [ wails ] - VAGINA: Are you okay? 217 00:08:00,787 --> 00:08:02,579 - I'm fine! - Oh, good. 218 00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:05,249 If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. 219 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,418 I love you bad, Mo-Mo! 220 00:08:07,502 --> 00:08:09,169 [ all panting ] 221 00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:11,422 [ indistinct shouting ] 222 00:08:11,506 --> 00:08:13,340 Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, 223 00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:16,927 a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! 224 00:08:20,807 --> 00:08:22,349 I didn't realize when I gave you that serum 225 00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,226 that Jessica had the flu... you know, 226 00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:27,062 t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me! 227 00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:28,427 What the hell is going on, Rick? 228 00:08:28,481 --> 00:08:29,940 What does it look like? 229 00:08:30,025 --> 00:08:31,608 T-T-T-The serum is piggybacking on the virus. 230 00:08:31,693 --> 00:08:33,110 It's gone airborne, Morty. 231 00:08:33,194 --> 00:08:35,654 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? 232 00:08:35,739 --> 00:08:37,239 It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. 233 00:08:37,324 --> 00:08:38,365 I whipped up an antidote. 234 00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,617 It's based on praying-mantis DNA. 235 00:08:40,702 --> 00:08:42,619 You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles. 236 00:08:42,704 --> 00:08:43,954 I mean, they... they mate once, 237 00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:45,919 and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. 238 00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,374 I mean, it's a whole ritual. 239 00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:49,501 It's really gruesome and totally opposite. 240 00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:50,919 There's no love at all. 241 00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:53,380 I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. 242 00:08:53,465 --> 00:08:55,924 It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. 243 00:08:56,009 --> 00:08:57,634 It'll all be over very shortly. 244 00:08:57,719 --> 00:08:59,553 [ indistinct shouting ] 245 00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:04,183 Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, 246 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,185 but I'm not interested in having sex with you. 247 00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:07,895 These serums, they don't work on anybody 248 00:09:07,979 --> 00:09:09,313 related to you genetically. 249 00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:12,274 Morty! 250 00:09:12,359 --> 00:09:14,693 [ all groaning ] 251 00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:24,745 Okay, well, sometimes, 252 00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,747 science is more art than science, Morty. 253 00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:28,707 A lot of people don't get that. 254 00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:33,337 [ gasps ] 255 00:09:33,421 --> 00:09:36,006 [ tires screech ] 256 00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:37,841 Come on. Are you kidding me? 257 00:09:37,926 --> 00:09:40,803 Hello! - Morty! 258 00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:43,889 You're not Morty! Bring us Morty! 259 00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:53,899 [ gun cocks ] Nobody's killing me... 260 00:09:53,983 --> 00:09:57,152 until after I catch my wife with another man. 261 00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:59,488 WOMAN ON TV: I had sex with Billy. 262 00:09:59,572 --> 00:10:01,323 WOMAN ♪2: But you were already pregnant! 263 00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:02,908 Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? 264 00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:05,786 We interrupt "Pregnant Baby" with breaking news. 265 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:07,413 [ groans ] Come on. 266 00:10:07,497 --> 00:10:09,873 This just in... Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown. 267 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,917 What the hell? 268 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:14,753 The only thing that is known is... how cute he is. 269 00:10:14,838 --> 00:10:17,339 I love him so much, I want to make love to him 270 00:10:17,424 --> 00:10:19,007 and then eat his head. 271 00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:21,009 I love him more than you do, Harold! 272 00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:22,761 You wish, you stupid bitch! 273 00:10:22,846 --> 00:10:24,388 - Morty's mine! - Morty's mine! 274 00:10:24,472 --> 00:10:25,848 Meant to be together! 275 00:10:25,932 --> 00:10:29,017 [ speaking Arabic] Morty! 276 00:10:29,102 --> 00:10:31,728 [ speaking Arabic] 277 00:10:31,813 --> 00:10:35,357 [ banging on door ] 278 00:10:35,442 --> 00:10:36,900 Where is Morty? 279 00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:39,987 [ screams ] 280 00:10:48,163 --> 00:10:50,247 [ conversing in foreign language ] 281 00:10:50,331 --> 00:10:53,667 Oh, my god, Rick. The whole world is infected! 282 00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:55,878 Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. 283 00:10:55,962 --> 00:10:58,130 I've really outdone myself. - Outdone yourself?! 284 00:10:58,214 --> 00:11:00,048 W-W... a-are... are you kidding me, Rick? 285 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:01,675 This is not okay! 286 00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:03,469 Not only do they all want to have sex with me, 287 00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,513 but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! 288 00:11:05,555 --> 00:11:06,930 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 289 00:11:07,015 --> 00:11:08,682 Mantises are the opposite of voles? 290 00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:11,393 I mean, obviously, DNA's more complicated than that. 291 00:11:11,478 --> 00:11:12,769 You know what, though, Morty? 292 00:11:12,854 --> 00:11:14,605 This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. 293 00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:17,107 It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, 294 00:11:17,192 --> 00:11:19,443 cactus, shark, golden retriever, 295 00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:21,320 and just a smidge of dinosaur. 296 00:11:21,404 --> 00:11:23,071 Should add up to normal humanity. 297 00:11:23,156 --> 00:11:24,916 I don't... that doesn't make any sense, Rick. 298 00:11:24,991 --> 00:11:26,950 How does that add up to normal humanity? 299 00:11:27,035 --> 00:11:28,702 What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? 300 00:11:28,786 --> 00:11:30,370 I'm sorry... a-are you the scientist 301 00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:32,247 or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? 302 00:11:34,209 --> 00:11:35,417 [ exhales deeply ] 303 00:11:35,502 --> 00:11:37,294 Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses, 304 00:11:37,378 --> 00:11:39,296 but I'm almost sorry we're finished. 305 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,881 Yes, it's satisfying work. 306 00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:43,050 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh... it's more than the work. 307 00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:45,552 I love being in that sterilized room, 308 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,804 sealed off from the world. 309 00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:50,140 It's the only time I can really think... and feel. 310 00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:51,350 [ slow music plays ] 311 00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,727 Hmm, uh, what are you doing? 312 00:11:53,811 --> 00:11:55,896 I'm playing African dream pop. 313 00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,106 What do you do after a long night? 314 00:11:58,191 --> 00:11:59,274 [ click ] 315 00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:02,152 Oh, ha, um, hey, I b... I'd better get going. 316 00:12:02,237 --> 00:12:04,905 Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. 317 00:12:04,989 --> 00:12:06,865 - Beth... - What is it, Davin? 318 00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:09,785 Just once, I'd like to know... 319 00:12:09,869 --> 00:12:10,869 [ sneezes ] 320 00:12:11,871 --> 00:12:14,373 w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath. 321 00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:15,541 What?! 322 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:18,961 What does Morty's skin smell like? 323 00:12:19,045 --> 00:12:21,588 How soft... [ grunts ] 324 00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:24,007 How soft are his privates? 325 00:12:24,092 --> 00:12:25,926 Let go of me, Davin! 326 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:28,345 [ glass shatters ] 327 00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:31,723 [ roars ] 328 00:12:31,808 --> 00:12:33,934 Take me to Morty. 329 00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:35,185 [ grunts ] 330 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:37,062 You're not Morty. 331 00:12:37,146 --> 00:12:39,606 No, I'm Mr. Crowbar, 332 00:12:39,691 --> 00:12:41,942 and this is my friend, 333 00:12:42,026 --> 00:12:44,236 who is also a crowbar. 334 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,113 That's... stupid. 335 00:12:46,197 --> 00:12:48,949 [ grunting ] 336 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,158 Yeah? 337 00:12:50,243 --> 00:12:51,994 Well, look where being smart got you. 338 00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:53,996 Jerry! Thank God! 339 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,163 God? 340 00:12:55,248 --> 00:12:58,250 God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. 341 00:12:58,334 --> 00:13:00,419 I'm the one beating them to death. 342 00:13:00,503 --> 00:13:02,754 Thank me. - Thank you, Jerry. 343 00:13:02,839 --> 00:13:04,172 Thank you. 344 00:13:08,803 --> 00:13:10,887 Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, 345 00:13:10,972 --> 00:13:12,431 because, you know, once I pull this lever, 346 00:13:12,515 --> 00:13:13,807 it's all back to normal. 347 00:13:13,891 --> 00:13:15,350 Just do it already. 348 00:13:15,435 --> 00:13:17,185 Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush. 349 00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:19,110 I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. 350 00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:20,939 It's fixed. You know, we could... 351 00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:22,941 we could just enjoy it for a little bit. 352 00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:24,401 I mean, I-I-I-look at how crazy it is. 353 00:13:24,485 --> 00:13:26,069 I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the next time 354 00:13:26,154 --> 00:13:27,594 you're gonna see something like this? 355 00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:29,114 I mean, soak it in, you know? 356 00:13:29,198 --> 00:13:30,782 It's... it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting. 357 00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:32,387 That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever. 358 00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:33,785 [ grunts ] 359 00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,168 W-What do we have here, Morty? 360 00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:43,092 Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? 361 00:13:43,171 --> 00:13:46,131 I-I-I-l-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? 362 00:13:46,215 --> 00:13:48,008 I-I-I bet you feel like the world's smallest man 363 00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:50,302 that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. 364 00:13:50,386 --> 00:13:52,262 Oh, Rick, something's not right. 365 00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:53,930 [ sighs ] Yeah, you. 366 00:13:54,015 --> 00:13:55,265 You're not right... ever. 367 00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:57,142 No, no! Look, you idiot! 368 00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:58,977 [ all screaming ] 369 00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:11,323 [ all speaking foreign language] 370 00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:15,494 [ all groaning ] 371 00:14:17,914 --> 00:14:20,248 [ all speaking foreign language ] 372 00:14:21,417 --> 00:14:23,210 Bet you're loving this, Morty. 373 00:14:23,294 --> 00:14:25,295 This must be the best day of your life. 374 00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:28,215 You get to be the mayor of l-Told-You Town. 375 00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:30,300 [ slurps ] You're welcome. 376 00:14:30,385 --> 00:14:31,385 [ slurps ] 377 00:14:40,144 --> 00:14:42,104 - Hold on. - [ whimpers ] 378 00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:45,273 [ engine revs, tires squeal ] 379 00:14:59,455 --> 00:15:00,539 [ gun cocks ] 380 00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:02,916 I wish that shotgun was my penis. 381 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,877 If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. 382 00:15:05,962 --> 00:15:08,505 I don't get it, and I don't need to. 383 00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:09,589 [ both moaning ] 384 00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:11,508 SUMMER: Mom! Dad! 385 00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:13,301 BOTH: Summer! 386 00:15:14,178 --> 00:15:15,220 [ sighs ] 387 00:15:15,304 --> 00:15:16,430 Where's Morty? 388 00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:17,806 I don't know. 389 00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,975 Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this? 390 00:15:20,059 --> 00:15:21,810 It's not fair to assume that, Summer. 391 00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:23,854 Oh, not fair? Give me a break. 392 00:15:23,938 --> 00:15:25,939 He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, 393 00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:27,399 and he left my mother. 394 00:15:27,483 --> 00:15:30,277 A real man stands by his woman. 395 00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:35,157 [ both moaning ] 396 00:15:35,241 --> 00:15:37,993 ♪ Tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo ♪ 397 00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:40,662 Boy, I really Cronenberged the world up, didn't I? 398 00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:42,497 We got a whole planet of Cronenbergs 399 00:15:42,582 --> 00:15:44,166 walking around down there, Morty. 400 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,251 A-At least they're not in love with you anymore, though. 401 00:15:46,335 --> 00:15:48,086 That's a huge step in the right direction. 402 00:15:48,171 --> 00:15:50,380 Oh, my God! It's a living nightmare! 403 00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:52,924 How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? 404 00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:55,427 Me irresponsible?! You... all I wanted you to do 405 00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:57,179 was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! 406 00:15:57,263 --> 00:15:59,931 You're the one who wanted to be... wanted me to buckle down 407 00:16:00,016 --> 00:16:02,267 and make you up a... roofie-juice serum 408 00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:05,479 so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. 409 00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:08,523 I mean, g... w-w-w-w-w... w... are you kidding me, Morty? 410 00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:10,608 You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? 411 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:12,068 Y-Y-Y-Y-You're a little creep, Morty. 412 00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:13,445 Y-You're a... you're... you're... 413 00:16:13,529 --> 00:16:15,447 you're just a little creepy... creep person. 414 00:16:15,531 --> 00:16:17,157 All right, fine. I should have just listened to you 415 00:16:17,241 --> 00:16:18,784 when you refused to make the serum. 416 00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:20,702 I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. 417 00:16:20,787 --> 00:16:22,412 But I'll tell you something... you know what? 418 00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:24,080 You gotta accept your part of the blame! 419 00:16:24,165 --> 00:16:25,874 I'm not the one who fouled up the serum! 420 00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:27,709 I'm not the one who... who... who... 421 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:29,169 who haphazardly, you know, 422 00:16:29,253 --> 00:16:30,837 mixed a bunch of nonsense together 423 00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,631 and created a bunch of Cronenbergs! 424 00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:35,008 You gotta fix this, Rick! - All right, all right, Morty. 425 00:16:35,092 --> 00:16:36,718 You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, 426 00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:39,513 but I do have one emergency solution that I can use 427 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,431 that'll kind of put everything back to normal, 428 00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:42,891 relatively speaking. 429 00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:44,392 Here, Morty, put this on while I do 430 00:16:44,477 --> 00:16:46,394 a little bit of scouting. 431 00:16:48,648 --> 00:16:51,191 [ birds chirping ] 432 00:16:58,825 --> 00:17:00,742 MORTY: Wow, Rick, I gotta say... 433 00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:02,907 you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. 434 00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:04,871 I mean, l-I really thought that the whole place 435 00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:06,748 was gonna be messed up for good, 436 00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,708 but here, you did it... y-y-you... you... 437 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,460 you figured out that crazy solution, 438 00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:11,628 like you always do. 439 00:17:11,712 --> 00:17:13,463 Whoo! That's some great luck. 440 00:17:13,548 --> 00:17:15,465 Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it. 441 00:17:15,550 --> 00:17:18,510 I'm great. That's the real reason. 442 00:17:18,594 --> 00:17:20,637 Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? 443 00:17:20,721 --> 00:17:22,472 Will you hand me a screwdriver 444 00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:24,307 so I can finish my ionic dis... defibulizer? 445 00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:26,643 Sure thing, Rick. Here's a screwdriver. 446 00:17:26,727 --> 00:17:28,937 All right, Morty. Thank you very much. 447 00:17:29,021 --> 00:17:31,940 We got one screw turn... and two screw turns... 448 00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:33,733 and... 449 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:40,282 All right, Morty, here we are. 450 00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:42,284 Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us?! 451 00:17:42,368 --> 00:17:44,244 W-W-W-We're dead! What is going on, Rick? 452 00:17:44,328 --> 00:17:45,829 I'm freaking out! 453 00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,497 Calm down, Morty! Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 454 00:17:47,582 --> 00:17:49,207 No, I can't deal with this! 455 00:17:49,292 --> 00:17:50,834 Calm yourself, Morty. 456 00:17:50,918 --> 00:17:52,419 I can't deal with this, Rick! 457 00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:53,920 - Calm down, Morty. - This can't be real! 458 00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:56,131 - You gotta calm down, Morty. - W-W-W-W-We're ripped apart! 459 00:17:56,215 --> 00:17:58,091 Shut up and listen to me! 460 00:17:58,175 --> 00:17:59,426 It's fine. Everything is fine. 461 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:00,927 There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, 462 00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,679 and in a few dozen of those, 463 00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:04,723 I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. 464 00:18:04,807 --> 00:18:06,474 I just had to find one of those realities 465 00:18:06,559 --> 00:18:09,185 in which we also happen to both die around this time. 466 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:10,729 Now we can just slip into the place 467 00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:12,314 of our dead selves in this reality 468 00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:13,982 and everything will be fine. 469 00:18:14,066 --> 00:18:15,483 We're not skipping a beat, Morty. 470 00:18:15,568 --> 00:18:16,568 Now, help me with these bodies. 471 00:18:16,652 --> 00:18:17,736 This is insane. 472 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,980 Look, Morty, I'll grab myself, you grab yourself, okay? 473 00:18:20,031 --> 00:18:21,406 I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me... 474 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,450 I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. 475 00:18:23,492 --> 00:18:25,493 Rick, what about the reality we left behind? 476 00:18:25,578 --> 00:18:28,246 What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? 477 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:29,748 The answer is don't think about it. 478 00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:31,958 It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. 479 00:18:32,043 --> 00:18:33,643 We get three or four more of these, tops. 480 00:18:33,669 --> 00:18:35,420 Now, pick up your dead self and come on. 481 00:18:35,504 --> 00:18:36,755 Haste makes waste. 482 00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:38,965 I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail, 483 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,551 but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, 484 00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:45,472 we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome. 485 00:18:48,601 --> 00:18:55,398 ♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪ 486 00:18:55,483 --> 00:19:02,572 ♪ There's still fountains down there ♪ 487 00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:11,331 ♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪ 488 00:19:11,415 --> 00:19:18,672 ♪ It's still raining up here ♪ 489 00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:29,182 ♪ Everybody seems so far away from me ♪ 490 00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:36,856 ♪ Everybody just wants to be free ♪ 491 00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:43,029 ♪ Look away from the sky ♪ 492 00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:49,828 ♪ It's no different when you're leaving home ♪ 493 00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:58,712 ♪ I can't be the same thing to you now ♪ 494 00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:02,716 ♪ I'm just gone ♪ 495 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:08,430 ♪ Just gone ♪ 496 00:20:08,514 --> 00:20:16,514 ♪ How could I say goodbye? ♪ 497 00:20:20,735 --> 00:20:24,404 You know, the thing about a shark... 498 00:20:24,488 --> 00:20:26,865 he's got lifeless eyes... 499 00:20:26,949 --> 00:20:28,867 black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 500 00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:30,452 When he comes at ya, 501 00:20:30,536 --> 00:20:32,454 he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, 502 00:20:32,538 --> 00:20:35,415 and then the... the blood, and the red, and the water... 503 00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,499 [ sighs ] 504 00:20:36,584 --> 00:20:38,710 You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? 505 00:20:38,794 --> 00:20:41,546 Sometimes. But, I'm ashamed to admit, 506 00:20:41,630 --> 00:20:47,177 now that they're gone, I'm finally happy. 507 00:20:47,261 --> 00:20:49,387 Here we are, Cronenberg Morty... 508 00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:51,014 a reality where everyone in the world 509 00:20:51,098 --> 00:20:52,474 got genetically Cronenberged. 510 00:20:52,558 --> 00:20:54,642 We'll fit right in, Cronenberg Morty. 511 00:20:54,727 --> 00:20:57,103 It'll be like we never even left Cronenberg world. 512 00:20:57,188 --> 00:20:58,563 Yeah, Cronenberg Rick, 513 00:20:58,647 --> 00:21:00,487 but, you know, I'm gonna miss Cronenberg world, 514 00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,108 because everyone was Cronenberged all along 515 00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:03,860 like us from the beginning, you know? 516 00:21:03,944 --> 00:21:05,487 I mean, l-I wish we hadn't genetically ruined 517 00:21:05,571 --> 00:21:07,489 Cronenberg World beyond repair like we did, 518 00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:10,116 you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people 519 00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:11,659 just walking around. 520 00:21:11,744 --> 00:21:13,344 Don't you worry about that sort of thing, 521 00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:14,496 Cronenberg Morty. 522 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:17,874 Let's go make ourselves at home, huh? 523 00:21:21,587 --> 00:21:23,004 Did you get any of that? 524 00:21:23,089 --> 00:21:25,048 It's a good-a show!