1 00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,743 - SUMMER: Bye, mom! Bye, Dad! - MORTY: Drive carefully! 2 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:03,995 Have fun, you two. 3 00:00:04,079 --> 00:00:06,664 Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our... 4 00:00:06,748 --> 00:00:08,791 Titanic-themed getaway. 5 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,668 Let's lose the 'tude, please. 6 00:00:10,752 --> 00:00:12,461 It's supposed to be romantic. 7 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,786 Speaking of disasters, Dad, we are leaving you in charge. 8 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,465 I know, c-can we wrap this up? 9 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,801 Morty and I [burps] have some synthetic laser eels 10 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,011 oxidizing in the garage. 11 00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:21,679 Hey, don't blow me off. 12 00:00:21,763 --> 00:00:23,514 I am drawing a line, okay? 13 00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,725 Any damage to this house or these children 14 00:00:25,809 --> 00:00:27,768 when we get back, and... 15 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,812 n-no more adventures with Morty. 16 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,981 Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's the one saying it, 17 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,983 then you know it's pretty serious this time. 18 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,526 - BOTH: That's right. - Wait. What? 19 00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:37,528 Listen, you have my word as a caregiver, 20 00:00:37,613 --> 00:00:39,447 everything's gonna be fine. 21 00:00:39,531 --> 00:00:42,158 And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. 22 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:43,951 It's like that old song 23 00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:45,995 "Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop A-Noop Noop Noop." 24 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,247 Y-You guys know that song? From Tiny Rogerts? 25 00:00:48,332 --> 00:00:49,832 You never heard of it? 26 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,293 You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s? 27 00:00:52,377 --> 00:00:53,794 No-Nobody? 28 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,838 A-All right, whatever. Look, who cares? 29 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,965 Just go on your stupid trip. 30 00:00:58,050 --> 00:01:00,384 Not one thing out of place. 31 00:01:00,469 --> 00:01:03,596 [ engine turns over ] 32 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,349 Not a single thing. 33 00:01:10,812 --> 00:01:12,813 [ bubbling, crackling ] 34 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,611 Well, we're past the point of no return. 35 00:01:18,695 --> 00:01:20,071 I'm going to have a party. 36 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:54,605 SUMMER: I found jello. Can you sneak your mom's vodka? 37 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:56,941 Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room. 38 00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:59,777 Listen, you can't both be in denial about it. 39 00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:01,445 Okay, bye. - Summer! 40 00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,572 You can't throw a party! Remember what mom said? 41 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,032 Yeah, if anything gets messed up, 42 00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:06,437 you and Grandpa Rick get punished. 43 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:07,693 I'm only a human being, Morty. 44 00:02:07,703 --> 00:02:09,662 Rick, tell Summer she can't have a party! 45 00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,580 Uh, Summer, you can't have a party. 46 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,249 - [ scoffs ] - Because [burps] 47 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,917 I'm having a party, b-i-i-i-itch! 48 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,794 Oh, what?! Rick, you can't! 49 00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:18,838 What do you mean you're having a party? 50 00:02:18,922 --> 00:02:20,881 Are some Glip Glops from the third dimension 51 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,009 going to come over and play cards or something? 52 00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:24,218 "Glip Glop?" 53 00:02:24,302 --> 00:02:25,886 You're lucky a Traflorkian doesn't hear you say that. 54 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,513 Is that like their N-word? 55 00:02:27,597 --> 00:02:29,181 It's like the N-word and the C-word had a baby 56 00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,183 and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews. 57 00:02:31,268 --> 00:02:33,060 Listen, I think the three of us could just, 58 00:02:33,145 --> 00:02:34,979 you know, have a nice time, like, just hanging out, 59 00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,783 and, you know, doing a little bonding and... 60 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,524 Screw that. This is my chance... 61 00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:40,359 to gain some footing with the cool kids. 62 00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:42,820 That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17. 63 00:02:42,904 --> 00:02:44,989 - Why do you party? - To get [burps]... 64 00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:47,158 wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son! 65 00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:50,036 Just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome ones. 66 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,329 Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away 67 00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,707 from my canapes. 68 00:02:54,791 --> 00:02:57,835 After dinner, Titanic2will attach to the rail system 69 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,211 near our replica iceberg, 70 00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,088 and the hydraulics encased in these tubes 71 00:03:01,173 --> 00:03:03,924 will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths. 72 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,968 A rail system seems archaic 73 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,554 for an attraction this impressive. 74 00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:10,431 Are you sure the ship will sink? 75 00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:12,099 I can assure you the ship will sink, 76 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,018 as it has a thousand times before. 77 00:03:14,102 --> 00:03:17,730 It is UN-unsinkable. - Ooh! 78 00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,982 Look, it's the line for the bow! 79 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,859 Jerry, I'd love to just kick back 80 00:03:21,943 --> 00:03:23,694 with a margarita and read. 81 00:03:23,779 --> 00:03:25,654 Do you mind if I skip the whole "King of the World" bit? 82 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,740 Well, it's not the "King of the World" bit. 83 00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:28,991 That's Jack and Fabrizio. 84 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,285 This is where Rose says, "I'm flying, Jack!" 85 00:03:31,369 --> 00:03:32,703 But whatever. 86 00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:33,913 I can be the only one to do it alone. 87 00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:36,082 Well, what about her? Excuse me, ma'am. 88 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,167 Would you like to take my place in line? 89 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,544 I, uh... I could get into trouble. 90 00:03:40,629 --> 00:03:42,338 We won't tell. 91 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:45,466 So... you're a Titanic fanatic? 92 00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,802 Oh, yes. I've worked here since it opened, 93 00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:50,012 but I've never been able to participate. 94 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,931 Happy to help... Rose. 95 00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:53,682 [ giggles ] 96 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,684 I love watching bukkake. 97 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,895 I mean, like, I don't know if I personally would ever do it... 98 00:03:57,979 --> 00:03:59,939 - Brad! Hey! - Yo. 99 00:04:00,023 --> 00:04:02,483 Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk. 100 00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,985 Check it out. Tammy's already drunk. 101 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,696 Cool. 102 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,740 The beacon was activated. 103 00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:12,576 Who is in danger? - Ugh! Grandpa! 104 00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:14,120 Birdperson! 105 00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:15,871 I am pleased there is no emergency. 106 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,623 Oh, there's an emergency, all right. 107 00:04:17,707 --> 00:04:19,166 A pussy emergency! 108 00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,043 When's the last time you got laid, 'Pers? 109 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,505 It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson. 110 00:04:24,589 --> 00:04:26,632 Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, player. 111 00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:28,796 Go have some fun out there Birdp... Bird... Birdperson. 112 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,803 Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick? 113 00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:35,266 Uh... people? Mm, six. 114 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:37,518 Yo! What up, my Glip Glops?! 115 00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:39,061 Oh, man! 116 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,397 [ electronic music plays ] 117 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,983 [ breathing heavily ] Oh! 118 00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:46,861 Y-Y-You know there's a garbage, right? 119 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,156 Hey, uh, what the hell?! 120 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,949 Ooh. That's why you never invite a Floopy Doop 121 00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:55,202 and a Shmoopy Doop to the same party. 122 00:04:55,287 --> 00:04:58,080 [ bed springs squeaking ] 123 00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,957 Oh, oh, g... oh, that's disgusting! 124 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:01,321 You guys are in my parents' bed! 125 00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,294 Oh. Sorry. I'm not feeling too well. 126 00:05:03,378 --> 00:05:05,421 I just needed to lie down for a bit. 127 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,798 Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry. [ chuckles ] 128 00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:09,592 [ groans ] 129 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,510 Oh, my god! Are you kidding me?! 130 00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:15,139 The thing people don't realize about the gear wars 131 00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:18,434 is that it was never really about the gears at all. 132 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,269 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no, to-totally. 133 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:21,770 Rick, you gotta stop... 134 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,480 Morty! Have you met Gearhead? 135 00:05:23,565 --> 00:05:25,107 - Hey, how's... - Morty here, he... 136 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,992 he would love to hear all about the Gear Wars. 137 00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:29,904 How familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly? 138 00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:31,822 Uh... not at all. 139 00:05:31,907 --> 00:05:33,824 Oh, boy. I envy you. 140 00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:38,162 Okay, it was about 754 years ago... 141 00:05:44,753 --> 00:05:47,588 Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met my buddy Scropon? 142 00:05:47,672 --> 00:05:48,923 Not again, Rick. 143 00:05:49,007 --> 00:05:51,008 That last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know? 144 00:05:51,092 --> 00:05:52,843 And meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed! 145 00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,678 Whoa, Morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed. 146 00:05:54,763 --> 00:05:56,305 Have a little perspective. 147 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,599 Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro! 148 00:05:58,683 --> 00:06:00,059 Aw! Squanchy! 149 00:06:00,143 --> 00:06:02,269 Is there a good place for me to squanch around here? 150 00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:04,605 Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man. 151 00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:06,649 Mi casa es su casa, dawg! 152 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,151 All right! I like your squanch! 153 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,445 Uh, Rick, what exactly is "squanching"? 154 00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:13,280 Morty, listen... we've had a lot 155 00:06:13,365 --> 00:06:15,032 of really cool adventures over the last year, 156 00:06:15,116 --> 00:06:16,742 but it's time to relax. 157 00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:18,160 Yeah, if I relax now, there might not 158 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,620 even be any more adventures! 159 00:06:19,704 --> 00:06:21,247 Jesus, Morty, you're bumming me out. 160 00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:22,915 Can't we just pretend like everything's fine 161 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,625 for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, 162 00:06:24,709 --> 00:06:26,585 and then worry about all this later? 163 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:28,462 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Rick. 164 00:06:28,546 --> 00:06:30,464 You know, you like not caring about stuff. 165 00:06:30,548 --> 00:06:34,093 You know, wh-wh-what's in this for me? 166 00:06:34,177 --> 00:06:36,720 [ soft music plays ] 167 00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:39,598 [ indistinct conversations ] 168 00:06:39,683 --> 00:06:42,393 Jessica. 169 00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:44,186 Knock it off, Slow Mobius! 170 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,021 Ha ha! Sorry, dude! 171 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:50,109 I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro! 172 00:06:50,193 --> 00:06:51,777 I can't believe she's here. 173 00:06:51,861 --> 00:06:53,445 Well, what are you doing standing here, Morty? 174 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,114 Go. Talk to her. 175 00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:56,448 Tonight, the only adventure you're on 176 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,284 is your cusping manhood. 177 00:06:58,368 --> 00:07:01,120 [ both laugh ] 178 00:07:01,204 --> 00:07:03,247 Oh, Rose. 179 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:06,792 Whee! 180 00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:08,252 Is that what I think it is? 181 00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:10,336 Yes, every couple gets to re-create Jack's drowning 182 00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:12,214 at the end of the movie. 183 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,299 It's so romantic. 184 00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:15,217 I can't wait to do that with Beth. 185 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,094 I don't know, Jerry. With all due respect... 186 00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:19,178 it seems like your wife may not be that interested. 187 00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,597 [ gasps ] Look! 188 00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:26,228 Iceberg, right ahead! The buffet is now closed. 189 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:29,064 Uh, sir? There's not a problem. 190 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,442 What do you mean there's not a problem? 191 00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,402 The guidance system isn't putting us 192 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,154 on a direct collision course. 193 00:07:35,238 --> 00:07:38,157 This ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg! 194 00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:40,367 Well, do something! Steer into it! 195 00:07:40,452 --> 00:07:42,619 I'm trying! 196 00:07:44,914 --> 00:07:47,249 It's too late. Ladies and gentlemen... 197 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,917 don't brace yourselves. 198 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,837 - [ all gasping ] - JERRY: No! What happened?! 199 00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:54,131 WOMAN: Their rail system must have failed. 200 00:07:54,215 --> 00:07:56,133 [ indistinct murmuring ] 201 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,720 Totally gonna get laid tonight. 202 00:07:59,804 --> 00:08:01,388 I like your feathers. 203 00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:03,307 They are designed to attract the attention of the female. 204 00:08:03,391 --> 00:08:04,933 It's working. 205 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,602 Tammy, I should let you know 206 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,937 I just got out of a highly intense soul bond 207 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,606 with my previous spirit mate. 208 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,150 I'm not looking to get into a soul bond. 209 00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:15,486 I'm just looking for... 210 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,155 I believe Birdperson can arrange that. 211 00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:20,824 Hey, Summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while. 212 00:08:20,909 --> 00:08:22,826 Summer, don't tell me you're friends with her. 213 00:08:22,911 --> 00:08:24,495 Are you kidding me? 214 00:08:24,579 --> 00:08:26,497 I don't even know what she's doing here. 215 00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:28,499 Whoa. Not cool, Summer. This is a party. 216 00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,209 Everybody should be welcome. 217 00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:32,753 [ crashes ] 218 00:08:32,837 --> 00:08:34,838 Oh, great. Who invited Abradolph Lincoler? 219 00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:37,132 I thought everyone was welcome. 220 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,801 It's not the same, Summer. 221 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,344 Lincoler is a crazed maniac... 222 00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:42,262 just a misguided effort of mine to create 223 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,987 a morally neutral superleader by combining 224 00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:45,933 the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln. 225 00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:49,895 Turns out it [burps] just adds up to a lame, weird loser. 226 00:08:49,979 --> 00:08:52,564 Rick, you brought me into this world, 227 00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:54,400 a suffering abomination 228 00:08:54,484 --> 00:08:57,236 tortured by the duality of its being. 229 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,363 But I shall finally know peace 230 00:08:59,447 --> 00:09:01,907 when I watch the life drain from your wretched body! 231 00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:03,283 Whoa. What's up, man? 232 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,202 I have no quarrel with you, boy. 233 00:09:05,286 --> 00:09:07,037 "Boy"? What's that supposed to mean? 234 00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,455 It's just... l-look, 235 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:11,333 I-I don't know how you thought I meant it, but... 236 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,709 Don't look at me, dude. 237 00:09:12,794 --> 00:09:15,170 Look, I'm half-Abraham Lincoln, so... 238 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,423 So I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?! 239 00:09:17,507 --> 00:09:19,091 Well, no, but... 240 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:21,093 You know? - What do I know? 241 00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,804 That the Third Reich will reign for a thousand years? 242 00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:26,014 - Leave him alone, Brad. - Stay out of this, Jessica! 243 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,350 Kick his ass, Brad! Kick his ass! 244 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,603 ALL: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! 245 00:09:31,688 --> 00:09:32,563 Brad! 246 00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,106 Stupid! [ grunts ] 247 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,816 Rick! 248 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,110 I just did you a favor, Morty. 249 00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:40,779 Sorry about all that. 250 00:09:40,864 --> 00:09:42,406 Rick has some really strange friends. 251 00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,950 Ugh! Brad is such a jerk. 252 00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:46,952 He's always trying to prove what a man he is. 253 00:09:47,036 --> 00:09:50,497 I just want to find somebody nice and sweet. 254 00:09:50,582 --> 00:09:53,625 Jessica, can I show you something? 255 00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:57,754 - Wow! Look at all this stuff. - Yeah. 256 00:09:57,839 --> 00:10:00,174 This is me and my grandpa Rick's sci-fi workshop. 257 00:10:00,258 --> 00:10:01,758 Check this out. 258 00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:03,594 [ projector beeping ] 259 00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,262 It's beautiful. 260 00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:07,264 You know, Jessica, there's something 261 00:10:07,348 --> 00:10:09,433 I've always wanted to tell you. 262 00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:12,394 - What's that, Morty? - I think you're the most... 263 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,271 No, that... those weird sounds 264 00:10:14,355 --> 00:10:17,941 coming from the closet over there. 265 00:10:18,026 --> 00:10:21,820 [ closet rattling ] 266 00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:23,113 - Oh, my god! - Aah! 267 00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:24,781 Hey, I'm squanching in here! 268 00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:26,742 Oh, my god! Oh, that is so disgusting! 269 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,328 Ow! Oh! Oh, crap! 270 00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:31,830 [ device warbling ] 271 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,796 [ warbling ] 272 00:10:39,881 --> 00:10:42,257 [ all screaming ] 273 00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:49,014 Huh. Big star in the sky. 274 00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:52,017 [ inhales sharply ] Oxygen-rich atmosphere. 275 00:10:52,101 --> 00:10:54,019 Giant testicle monsters. 276 00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:55,437 We'll be fine! Let's party! 277 00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,523 [ all cheering ] 278 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:06,156 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪ 279 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:08,033 ♪ Just shake that ass... ♪ 280 00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,452 SUMMER: I swear to god, Morty, if it weren't for the fact 281 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,337 that everyone's still having a blast in there, 282 00:11:12,413 --> 00:11:14,289 I would be so furious with you right now. 283 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,166 Oh, man. Y-You hear that, Morty? 284 00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:18,131 You really lucked out with Summer o-on that one. 285 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,254 How are you guys not freaking out right now?! 286 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:22,881 T-The whole house is sitting in another dimension! 287 00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:25,133 I-I mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?! 288 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,010 M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna kill us! 289 00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:29,471 I'm losing it here, Rick! - Relax, Morty, relax! 290 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,056 It's gonna be fine. 291 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,350 All we have to do is go out and find us 292 00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:34,851 some Kalaxian crystals. 293 00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,853 [ detector beeping ] Oh, shit, motherfucker! 294 00:11:36,938 --> 00:11:38,480 Kalaxian crystals, Morty, 295 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,940 just a few miles south of here. 296 00:11:40,024 --> 00:11:41,483 Okay. Let's go, then. 297 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,402 W-W-We got to go get those crystals right now, Rick. 298 00:11:43,486 --> 00:11:45,404 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Morty, l-I can't go with you. 299 00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:47,072 I got to hang back 300 00:11:47,156 --> 00:11:49,366 and make sure everything stays cool here, you know? 301 00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:52,536 I mean, who knows what... what if somebody breaks something? 302 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,496 Yeah. Me too. I should stay. 303 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,914 You guys have any aspirin? 304 00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:57,666 Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect! 305 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,585 You can take Lincoler with you. 306 00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,269 Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured. 307 00:12:01,337 --> 00:12:02,963 Shut up, Lincoler. 308 00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:05,257 It's the least you can do for wrecking the living room. 309 00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:07,759 Yeah! And, Nancy, you should go, too. 310 00:12:07,844 --> 00:12:09,678 What? Why... why me? 311 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:12,014 Because, uh, you're... 312 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:15,183 you're so good at playing the flute. 313 00:12:17,312 --> 00:12:19,187 CAPTAIN: Sorry for the inconvenience, folks. 314 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,356 We should resume sinking shortly. 315 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,358 In the meantime, please, stay on the ship 316 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,236 and enjoy a complimentary plate of James Cameronion rings. 317 00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:28,405 Great. Not only is the ship not sinking, 318 00:12:28,489 --> 00:12:30,282 but now the fourth wall has been broken. 319 00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:33,410 [ sighs ] I am gonna go back to the room to finish my book. 320 00:12:33,494 --> 00:12:35,203 You should find that Lucy woman. 321 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,413 But... but... 322 00:12:36,497 --> 00:12:38,415 [ clears throat ] You see, Jerry? 323 00:12:38,499 --> 00:12:40,083 May I show you something? 324 00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:41,710 Had everything gone as planned, 325 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,420 this entire area would be underwater. 326 00:12:43,504 --> 00:12:45,714 [ sighs ] I would have liked to see it. 327 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:48,383 This trip has been a "Titanic" failure. 328 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,469 Get it? Ooh! 329 00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:52,721 - Draw me, Jerry. - Oh, boy. 330 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,431 Lucy, wow. 331 00:12:54,515 --> 00:12:57,142 Uh, this isn't what I had in mind. 332 00:12:57,226 --> 00:12:58,894 But it's the perfect moment. 333 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,271 We've been dreaming about this for 16 years. 334 00:13:01,356 --> 00:13:03,148 Um, not like this. Not... not with you. 335 00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:05,150 [ chuckles nervously ] 336 00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:07,152 [ gun cocks ] You are gonna draw me. 337 00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:10,322 Then you're going to fuck me in that car over there. 338 00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:12,240 It's weird, 'cause I definitely think 339 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,242 that all men are created equal. 340 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,453 But, at the same time... - Okay! 341 00:13:16,537 --> 00:13:18,622 Um, the crystals should be really close. 342 00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:20,165 There they are! 343 00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:23,043 Wait. Something's not right. 344 00:13:23,127 --> 00:13:24,503 [ creature growls ] 345 00:13:24,587 --> 00:13:25,712 [ screams ] 346 00:13:25,797 --> 00:13:27,172 [ creature roars ] 347 00:13:27,256 --> 00:13:29,299 Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast! 348 00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:33,095 Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes! 349 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,638 [ grunting ] 350 00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,473 [ gasps ] Summer's gonna like me again. 351 00:13:36,557 --> 00:13:37,432 [ creature growling ] 352 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:43,146 [ grunts ] 353 00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:45,440 Lincoler, come on! Let's get out of here! 354 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,110 Mein journey is over, Morty. 355 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:53,115 [ groaning ] I have something important to tell you. 356 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:56,702 ♪ And the gears, they turned for a thousand years ♪ 357 00:13:56,786 --> 00:14:00,205 ♪ Until the dark day that they stopped ♪ 358 00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,207 [ gasps ] Rick, I got them! 359 00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:03,625 I got the crystals! 360 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,293 All right! You did it, Morty. 361 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,587 Rick, wait! There's something you need to know. 362 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,339 I couldn't have done it without Lincoler. 363 00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:10,704 He said that he was really sorry 364 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,342 and that he loves you like a father. 365 00:14:12,427 --> 00:14:13,760 He only wanted you to accept him, 366 00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,220 and he hopes that his final act 367 00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:16,638 would redeem him in your eyes. 368 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,141 He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick. 369 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,767 He died. 370 00:14:20,852 --> 00:14:22,561 Well, at least he didn't die in vain. 371 00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:25,313 He got these crystals. 372 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,648 [ sniffs ] 373 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,692 And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! 374 00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,235 Wubba, lubba, dub, dub! 375 00:14:30,319 --> 00:14:32,070 Play something. S-Somebody, play something. 376 00:14:32,155 --> 00:14:34,364 [ clicks ] Wait a minute. What? 377 00:14:34,449 --> 00:14:37,367 [ hip-hop music plays ] 378 00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:40,287 ♪ Put your right foot forward and your left foot back ♪ 379 00:14:40,371 --> 00:14:43,039 ♪ Then slide around like on a Nordictrack ♪ 380 00:14:43,124 --> 00:14:45,375 ♪ Move to the left. Step to the right ♪ 381 00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:49,129 ♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light ♪ 382 00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,381 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪ 383 00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:54,009 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪ 384 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:55,969 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪ 385 00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:57,846 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪ 386 00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,639 Slow Mobius, hit me with the clock beam! 387 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:04,561 [ warbling ] 388 00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:07,105 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪ 389 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:08,356 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪ 390 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,692 That's the Rick dance! All right! 391 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,110 [ burps ] Whoa, man! 392 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,195 [ all cheering ] 393 00:15:13,196 --> 00:15:15,655 What the hell was that?! 394 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,660 I thought those crystals were supposed to help us 395 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,034 get home or something! 396 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,286 What? No, no, no, I can get us home whenever I want to. 397 00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:23,747 But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? 398 00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:25,540 I'm starting to come down, Morty. 399 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,418 Crystal Kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high. 400 00:15:28,503 --> 00:15:30,212 [ door slides open, Morty grunts ] 401 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,214 That's what I think of your crystals, Rick! 402 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,049 Oh, Morty, you idiot! 403 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,384 Does anybody else have any more K-Lax? 404 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,761 B-Birdperson? Uh, Squanchy? 405 00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:39,429 Don't squaunch at me. 406 00:15:39,514 --> 00:15:41,723 All right, everybody, party is officially over! 407 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,725 Rick, take us home now. 408 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,102 All right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill! 409 00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:47,521 Boo, boo! Morty sucks! 410 00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:50,357 Boo! You suck, whatever your name is. 411 00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:52,359 RICK: Morty, you're the worst, Morty. 412 00:15:52,443 --> 00:15:54,611 But these gears just started turnin'. 413 00:15:54,695 --> 00:15:56,488 LUCY: Almost finished, Jerry? 414 00:15:56,572 --> 00:15:58,532 Uh, almost. 415 00:15:58,616 --> 00:16:01,827 I haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes. 416 00:16:01,911 --> 00:16:03,578 I'm sure it's good enough. Move! 417 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,247 Every weekend, Jacks and Roses have 418 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,082 their Titanic experience in this car, 419 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,626 and I have to mop it up. 420 00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:12,504 The floor drops out to make it easier. 421 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,214 But now it's my turn. 422 00:16:14,298 --> 00:16:16,883 We're going to get it nice and steamy in there, 423 00:16:16,968 --> 00:16:19,344 and I'm going to slam my hand on the steam 424 00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:21,096 and leave a nice handprint, 425 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,765 and then you're going to love inside of me. 426 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,642 No mess. No clean. 427 00:16:25,726 --> 00:16:27,310 [ grunts ] 428 00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:28,645 Beth! 429 00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:31,231 Bet you're glad I think Kindles are dumb now. 430 00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:34,943 BETH: I can't help but feel a little guilty. 431 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,112 I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist. 432 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,114 What does a rapist look like exactly, Beth? 433 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,116 Is it a Slavic man wearing a denim jacket 434 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,785 with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne 435 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,496 wafting over his blister-pocked lips? 436 00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:47,581 What? 437 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:51,167 Well, at least you got all this free stuff. 438 00:16:51,252 --> 00:16:54,170 Should be enough to satisfy your Titanic Jones for a while. 439 00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,798 [ grunts ] I'm not going to fit. 440 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,551 Beth, listen to me. You're going to get outta here. 441 00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:01,261 You're gonna go on, and... 442 00:17:01,345 --> 00:17:02,804 Jerry, just leave the door. 443 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,514 It's not a door, Beth. It's debris. 444 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:06,349 I don't care. Just leave it. 445 00:17:06,434 --> 00:17:09,144 Yeah. Okay. 446 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,693 [ laughs evilly ] "Cape Fear"! 447 00:17:16,777 --> 00:17:18,278 "Cape Fear"! 448 00:17:18,362 --> 00:17:20,280 I'm... I'm doing... I'm... I'm going to do like 449 00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:21,823 from "Cape Fear." 450 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,700 [ grunts, groans ] 451 00:17:23,784 --> 00:17:26,703 [ moaning, screaming ] 452 00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:32,542 SQUANCHY: Hey, squanchers! 453 00:17:32,627 --> 00:17:35,086 The party's squanching on at my place! 454 00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:36,922 [ all cheering ] 455 00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:38,590 - Cool. - I'm coming, too. 456 00:17:38,674 --> 00:17:40,467 Uh, no. You're not squanchy enough... 457 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,427 for a squanchy party. - What? 458 00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,137 Nancy told us what a bitch you are. 459 00:17:44,221 --> 00:17:46,056 Guys, seriously. Nancy? 460 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,974 Summer, you're a bad person. 461 00:17:48,059 --> 00:17:50,143 All you care about is having popular people like you. 462 00:17:50,227 --> 00:17:52,145 That's not what Abradolph Lincoler stood for. 463 00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:55,482 Well, i-it was hard to pin down what he stood for, 464 00:17:55,566 --> 00:17:58,944 but it's certainly not what he died for. 465 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,198 Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus 466 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,200 on getting totally wrecked. 467 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,993 You're so wise. 468 00:18:07,078 --> 00:18:08,745 [ mumbles ] 469 00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:10,622 May I assist you with that? 470 00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:12,332 Uh, sure, yeah. Thanks. 471 00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:15,251 Morty, do you know what "wubba lubba dub dub" means? 472 00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:17,837 Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase. 473 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,714 It's not nonsense at all. 474 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,967 In my people's tongue, it means, 475 00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:23,927 "I am in great pain. Please help me." 476 00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:26,471 Well, I got news for you. He's saying it ironically. 477 00:18:26,555 --> 00:18:28,556 No, Morty. Your grandfather is, indeed, 478 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,600 in very deep pain. 479 00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,602 That is why he must numb himself. 480 00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:34,396 - Come on, um... - Birdperson. 481 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,898 Come on, Birdperson. Rick's not that complicated. 482 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,817 He's just a huge asshole. 483 00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:41,444 Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed 484 00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:43,446 to continue on your adventures together? 485 00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,782 It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity 486 00:18:45,866 --> 00:18:47,534 to free yourself of Rick forever. 487 00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:50,161 You know what? You're right. I shouldn't even care. 488 00:18:50,246 --> 00:18:52,789 This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. 489 00:18:52,873 --> 00:18:54,499 I'm sick of having adventures with Rick. 490 00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,001 My people have another saying... 491 00:18:56,085 --> 00:18:57,627 "gubba nub nub doo rah kah." 492 00:18:57,712 --> 00:19:01,006 Lt means, "whatever lets you sleep at night." 493 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,466 [ cellphone beeps ] Guys, Mom and Dad are, like, 494 00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,135 right around the corner. 495 00:19:05,219 --> 00:19:07,971 This is your moment, Morty. Choose wisely. 496 00:19:08,055 --> 00:19:09,347 Tammy! 497 00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:12,017 [ grunts ] Caw! 498 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:18,481 SUMMER: Wow. We are so screwed. 499 00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:20,316 - Rick, wake up. - Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop. 500 00:19:20,401 --> 00:19:21,943 Rick, you got to do something quick. 501 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,320 My parents are home. - [ groans ] 502 00:19:24,405 --> 00:19:26,698 Uh, all... all right. All right. Hold... hold on. 503 00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:27,949 [ gulping ] 504 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,617 Ahh! So good. 505 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:30,785 Oh, my god. They're walking up the driveway. 506 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,038 - Bring me the thing. - What... what thing? 507 00:19:33,122 --> 00:19:34,706 The thing. The thing. 508 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,416 It's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. 509 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,959 It... it... it beeps. - Rick! 510 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,544 That describes everything in your garage! 511 00:19:39,628 --> 00:19:40,628 Do you mean this? 512 00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:44,174 Summer for [burps] for the win. 513 00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:45,800 All right, that should do it. 514 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,095 - Whoa! What did you do? - Uh, s-see for yourself. 515 00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,805 Whoa! 516 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,682 Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. 517 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,559 Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks he's all that. 518 00:19:54,643 --> 00:19:56,019 For how long? 519 00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:57,979 I don't know. How long do you guys want? 520 00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,439 A week? A month? 521 00:19:59,523 --> 00:20:03,068 Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel? 522 00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,570 [ mid-tempo rock music plays ] 523 00:20:23,547 --> 00:20:26,382 [ epic music plays] 524 00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:28,067 - RICK: Worst movie ever. - SUMMER: Dumb. 525 00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:29,511 Ooh, boy, what a waste of time. 526 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,012 [ laughter ] 527 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,931 Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen. 528 00:20:33,015 --> 00:20:34,766 This has been so much fun. 529 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,601 Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time, 530 00:20:36,685 --> 00:20:38,269 I haven't once heard you say that 531 00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:39,938 "wubba lubba dub dub" thing that you usually say. 532 00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:41,397 Don't need to. 533 00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:43,191 I have [burps] a new catchphrase. 534 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,026 Oh, yeah? What... what's that, Rick? 535 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,195 - I love my grandkids. - BOTH: Aww. 536 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,072 Psych! Just kidding... my new catchphrase is, 537 00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,116 "I don't give a fuck!" 538 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,119 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪ 539 00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:57,080 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see what you got ♪ 540 00:20:57,164 --> 00:20:58,957 Roll credits! 541 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:01,000 ♪ Just shake that a... ♪ Roll the credits! Go! 542 00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:03,336 ♪ Just shake that ass ♪ That's the end of season one! 543 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,255 That's the end, motherfucker! 544 00:21:05,339 --> 00:21:07,549 "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase! 545 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,008 Fuck you! 546 00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:11,052 That's season one! Boom! 547 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,930 Season one up in your face, motherfucker! 548 00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:15,014 Yeah! 549 00:21:47,923 --> 00:21:49,799 Revenge. 550 00:21:49,884 --> 00:21:51,801 What?! 551 00:21:54,555 --> 00:21:57,182 MAN: Party! 552 00:21:57,266 --> 00:21:58,725 Whoo, baby! 553 00:21:58,809 --> 00:22:02,437 LINCOLER: [ groans ] Please, stop! 554 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:03,813 Hey, brah! 555 00:22:03,898 --> 00:22:05,815 I don't understand. Are you enjoying this? 556 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,567 Do you like this? 557 00:22:07,651 --> 00:22:09,569 Yeah, you know it, dawg! 558 00:22:09,653 --> 00:22:11,279 [ Lincoler retches ] 559 00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:12,697 Whoo, baby! 560 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,658 Did you get any of that? 561 00:22:15,743 --> 00:22:17,702 It's a good-a show!