1 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,246 [vacuum running ] 2 00:00:13,455 --> 00:00:14,581 Hurry up, Morty. 3 00:00:14,665 --> 00:00:16,258 Grandpa's about to un-freeze time. 4 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:18,506 You really should be cleaning from top to bottom. 5 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,428 I know how to vacuum mom and dad, Summer. 6 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:22,097 I've been doing it for six months. 7 00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,595 Then you've been doing it wrong for six months. 8 00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,393 Oh, my god, is that mildew? 9 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,562 It's not my fault we froze time on a humid day. 10 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,732 You have dropped so many balls, man. 11 00:00:31,807 --> 00:00:33,730 Do you ever get scared Grandpa Rick 12 00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,561 might make me his new sidekick? 13 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,521 What?! What kind of monster are you? 14 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:38,901 A competent one. 15 00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:40,107 Who cares about the [burps] things you guys are 16 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,316 talking about? 17 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,697 [burps ] the whole point of freezing time was to 18 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,778 stop giving a fuck. Put a shirt on your dumb dad, 19 00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:47,115 and let's get this dumb universe rolling. 20 00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:48,824 Let's do this thing. 21 00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:53,586 All right, listen, you two. 22 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,460 We froze time for a pretty long time, 23 00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:56,665 so when I un-freeze it, 24 00:00:56,748 --> 00:00:58,250 the world's time is gonna be fine, 25 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,176 but our time's gonna need a little time 26 00:01:00,252 --> 00:01:01,504 to, you know, stabilize. 27 00:01:01,587 --> 00:01:02,634 Our time is gonna be unstable? 28 00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:04,260 What does that even mean? 29 00:01:04,339 --> 00:01:06,341 It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty. 30 00:01:06,425 --> 00:01:08,302 Uh, I thought you learned that by now. 31 00:01:08,385 --> 00:01:09,807 It also means don't touch your parents, 32 00:01:09,887 --> 00:01:11,730 or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. 33 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,183 - Wait a minute, what? - And away we go! 34 00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:15,392 [ Device warbles ] 35 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,477 ♪♪ 36 00:01:19,438 --> 00:01:21,782 Um...did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? 37 00:01:21,857 --> 00:01:23,325 - Shhh. - Shush, Marty. 38 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,494 ...a thing or two about -- Wait, what? 39 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,492 Was the house -- when we pulled up, 40 00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:30,415 I could have sworn the house was completely trashed. 41 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:31,743 Negative visualization, Jerry. 42 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,577 Explains a lot about where you're at. 43 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,537 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, dad. 44 00:01:35,621 --> 00:01:37,498 Summer, Morty, are you okay? 45 00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:39,424 We -- we just missed you a lot. 46 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,127 Yeah, we missed you so much. 47 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:42,632 Too much to hug you, though. 48 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,338 Yeah, it would literally destroy them. 49 00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:46,173 Now, listen, why don't -- why don't -- wh-why don't -- 50 00:01:46,256 --> 00:01:47,803 why don't you guys go get a free Sunday ice cream? 51 00:01:47,883 --> 00:01:49,385 Get out there and get some ice creams. 52 00:01:49,468 --> 00:01:51,766 Here's $500 cash in unmarked monies. 53 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,643 I'm just gonna put it on the floor 54 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:55,315 and kick it on over to ya. 55 00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:57,392 - You guys go nuts. - This better not be a bribe. 56 00:01:57,476 --> 00:02:00,525 If I find a single thing out of place in this house, 57 00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,698 my love of ice cream won't save you. 58 00:02:02,773 --> 00:02:04,320 I'll get my jacket. 59 00:02:04,399 --> 00:02:07,573 Sweetie, is your shirt on backwards? 60 00:02:07,653 --> 00:02:09,371 [all gasp] 61 00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:11,790 Yeah. I like it this way. 62 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,242 I'm not stupid. 63 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,542 - Phew! - Oh. 64 00:02:14,618 --> 00:02:16,370 Man, that guy is the Redgren Grumbholdt 65 00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:18,296 of pretending he knows what's going on. 66 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,498 [Rick and Summer laugh] 67 00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:20,798 - Oh, you agree, huh? - It's funny. 68 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:21,796 You like that Redgren Grumbholdt reference? 69 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:22,842 Yeah. 70 00:02:22,918 --> 00:02:24,420 Well, guess what? I made him up. 71 00:02:24,503 --> 00:02:26,096 You really are your father's children. 72 00:02:26,171 --> 00:02:27,923 Think for yourselves. Don't be sheep. 73 00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:32,887 [ Dramatic electronic music plays ] 74 00:02:56,827 --> 00:02:59,455 [ Electricity crackles ] 75 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:06,803 God, I feel terrible. 76 00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:08,425 Yep, it really makes you appreciate 77 00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:09,802 how fickle the Universe can be. 78 00:03:09,881 --> 00:03:12,430 One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, 79 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:13,761 the next minute, bam! 80 00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,687 Uh, just to be clear, it was Summer's job 81 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,139 to put the mattress under -- 82 00:03:17,222 --> 00:03:18,565 Uh, what? It was your job, Morty. 83 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,732 - Nuh-uh! - Yuh-huh! 84 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,151 Actually, sorry, Summer. 85 00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,443 I got to back the "M" bomb on this one. 86 00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:23,987 I remember the conversation. 87 00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:26,485 We told Morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies. 88 00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:28,613 Your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson. 89 00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:30,911 Boom! In your face, Summer! 90 00:03:30,986 --> 00:03:32,659 You really dropped the ball, man. 91 00:03:32,738 --> 00:03:34,740 Shut up, Morty, you vindictive little turd! 92 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:37,918 You shut up, you big female asshole! 93 00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:39,290 [ Warbles ] Hey, don't shove me! 94 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:40,541 - I didn't! - You didn't what? 95 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,168 - What's your problem'? - What's yours? 96 00:03:42,247 --> 00:03:43,339 - Shut up! - You shut up! 97 00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:44,712 [rumbling ] - Wh-whoa, whoa! 98 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,135 What the [echoing] hell, hell, hell, hell, hell? 99 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:49,383 [echoing] Oh, god. Oh, no. What did you guys just do? 100 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,635 - What did who do? - What do you mean? 101 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:52,637 Wait, what am I saying? - [ burps ] Were either 102 00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,718 of you guys uncertain about anything just now? 103 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,394 Oh, man, I don't feel good. 104 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,767 - Am I me? - Am I talking right now? 105 00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,439 - I think so. - Wait, who said that? 106 00:03:59,514 --> 00:04:01,187 All right, both of you just don't move. 107 00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:04,611 Don't speak, don't think. I have to check something. 108 00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:05,733 - What'd you do, Morty? - I'm gonna help grandpa. 109 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:06,984 I'll see if he needs help. 110 00:04:07,064 --> 00:04:08,281 What do you mean you're gonna help him? 111 00:04:08,357 --> 00:04:09,859 [ scoffs ] I can help, too. 112 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,158 - What's happening, Grandpa? - What's going on, Rick? 113 00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:12,781 Sh-sh-shut up. 114 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,364 Oh, crap, are you kidding me? Two dots? 115 00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:17,074 This never needs to be more than one dot. 116 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,500 The two of you made us uncertain! 117 00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:19,497 - What are you talking about? - What's that mean? 118 00:04:19,576 --> 00:04:20,623 - English, please. - English? 119 00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:23,205 Our time is fractured -- you two somehow created 120 00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:25,632 a feedback look of uncertainty that split our reality 121 00:04:25,707 --> 00:04:28,176 into two equally possible impossibilities. 122 00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:30,504 W-we're exactly like a man capable of sustaining 123 00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:33,306 a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. 124 00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:35,305 We're entirely hypothetical. 125 00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,432 But I thought there were infinite time lines? 126 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,513 We're not on any time line, dummy. 127 00:04:39,596 --> 00:04:41,598 Look. [ cat meows ] 128 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,854 Oh, my god! 129 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,276 SUMMER: Are those cats? 130 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,399 I assume they're Schrodinger's cats. 131 00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:47,821 Or, actually, I assume 132 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,523 they both are and aren't, just like us. 133 00:04:49,606 --> 00:04:51,233 - Is the world gone? - ls the world gone? 134 00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:52,693 - Where are mom and dad? - What about mom and dad? 135 00:04:52,776 --> 00:04:55,245 Mom and dad? Get your head out of your family's ass. 136 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,448 The three of us are lost in a timeless oblivion. 137 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,908 Your parents get to exist. 138 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:01,243 They're probably living it up in some pointless, 139 00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:03,420 grounded story about their shitty marriage. 140 00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,338 JERRY: Cold stone creamery is the best. 141 00:05:05,414 --> 00:05:08,338 What should we do with our remaining $20? 142 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:11,216 You realize they sing no matter how much you tip? 143 00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,841 - Whoa! - Aaah! 144 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:14,264 Holy shit. 145 00:05:14,339 --> 00:05:15,932 - What happened? - I hit a deer. 146 00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:18,260 We -- we have to tell the cops you were driving. 147 00:05:18,343 --> 00:05:20,516 - What? - This is rum raisin! 148 00:05:22,848 --> 00:05:24,441 It's still alive. 149 00:05:24,516 --> 00:05:27,941 Well, do we -- do I, uh, get, uh, a big rock, or...? 150 00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:29,692 It's not an armadillo, asshole. 151 00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,569 I thought that's what a man's supposed to say. 152 00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:33,275 It's not like I could've actually done it. 153 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:35,281 If we were near a hospital, I could treat it, 154 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,737 but I -- I think we have to just... 155 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,414 It's okay. This is just something that happens. 156 00:05:39,489 --> 00:05:42,208 And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do? 157 00:05:42,284 --> 00:05:44,457 You're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon. 158 00:05:44,536 --> 00:05:45,662 So...? 159 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,214 Well, don't different animals... 160 00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:48,757 require different levels of skill to keep alive? 161 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,425 - Oh, god. Get the deer in the car, Jerry. 162 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:51,797 Yes, Beth. 163 00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:53,800 This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. 164 00:05:53,879 --> 00:05:55,472 It's incredibly irresponsible. 165 00:05:55,547 --> 00:05:57,766 And you did it so we could clean the house after a party? 166 00:05:57,841 --> 00:06:00,435 Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Morty. 167 00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,262 Like, literally no time. Look around. 168 00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:04,598 Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. 169 00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,775 Eventually, everything either is or isn't. 170 00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,273 And we've got about four hours to be "ls." 171 00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:11,400 - Or...? - We isn't. 172 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,073 All right, since this time crystal exists in both 173 00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:14,149 possibilities, 174 00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:16,489 and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, 175 00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,366 I'm probably about to press this button 176 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,539 in both possibilities at exactly the same time. 177 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,161 - How do you know -- - How do you know that -- 178 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,787 Whatever your asking me, the answer is I'm amazing. 179 00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:25,790 And away we go. 180 00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:26,870 [warbling ] 181 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,504 Huh, what do you know. It's working. 182 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:34,211 - Ow, ow, ow! - Oh shit. 183 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,388 What the hell is wrong with you two? 184 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:37,635 I-I-I-I mean you four! 185 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:39,591 BOTH: That hurt! That was painful. 186 00:06:39,674 --> 00:06:41,642 Good, I'm glad it was painful. You deserve it. 187 00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:44,437 I saw you. Y-you're both [burps] all over the damn place. 188 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,607 We've been split for 20 minutes and your lives 189 00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:48,934 are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind? 190 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,644 What the hell do either of you two 191 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:53,196 have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream? 192 00:06:53,271 --> 00:06:55,273 Which chair to sit in while I do everything? 193 00:06:55,357 --> 00:06:56,529 Come on, spit it out! 194 00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:57,530 Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick. 195 00:06:57,609 --> 00:06:58,952 You make fun of me all the time... 196 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,529 You're always picking on me... ...and now Summer's doing it. 197 00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:01,454 ...and now you got Summer to kiss your ass. 198 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,952 Me?! What about you'? 199 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,032 You're just as mean to me because you're jealous... 200 00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,082 could you get more excited to see me fail? 201 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,660 Because you want grandpa all to yourself! 202 00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:08,541 All right, all right, cool it. I see what's happening here. 203 00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:10,247 You're both young, you're both unsure 204 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,627 about your place in the universe, 205 00:07:11,706 --> 00:07:13,504 and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. 206 00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:15,301 I can fix this. Morty, sit here. 207 00:07:15,377 --> 00:07:16,879 Summer, you sit here. Now, listen. 208 00:07:16,962 --> 00:07:18,555 I know the two of you are very different 209 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:19,847 from each other in a lot of ways, 210 00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,300 but you have to understand 211 00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:22,805 that as far as Grandpa's concerned, 212 00:07:22,884 --> 00:07:24,511 you're both pieces of shit. Yeah. 213 00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:25,846 I can prove it mathematically. 214 00:07:25,929 --> 00:07:27,556 Actually, l-l-let me grab my white board. 215 00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:29,312 This has been a long time coming, anyway. 216 00:07:29,391 --> 00:07:31,234 [tires screech ] 217 00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:32,936 Emergency! Wounded deer coming in. 218 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,646 [air hissing] - Three. 219 00:07:34,729 --> 00:07:36,481 Excuse me, you can't be back here. 220 00:07:36,565 --> 00:07:38,158 I'm a certified horse surgeon, 221 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:39,906 and this deer needs medical attention. 222 00:07:39,985 --> 00:07:42,454 - Nurse, please move that snake. - That's my nurse. 223 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,406 And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know 224 00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:47,584 that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs. 225 00:07:47,659 --> 00:07:49,661 As a vet, I'm sure you know that a deer 226 00:07:49,744 --> 00:07:52,167 is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor. 227 00:07:52,247 --> 00:07:54,625 So let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out. 228 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,381 - It's time to save a life! - Geez. 229 00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:57,802 [ Grunts, sighs] 230 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,552 That's odd. This deer's wounded. 231 00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,632 Uh, yeah, I was there. You don't have to rub it in. 232 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,844 I mean it's been shot with a gun. 233 00:08:04,926 --> 00:08:06,894 MAN: My gun. 234 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,722 May I help you, sir? 235 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:11,433 No, but you can stop helping this deer. 236 00:08:11,516 --> 00:08:13,484 I shot it before these two hit it with their car, 237 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,153 and I followed them when they hauled it off. 238 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,605 This deer belongs to me. 239 00:08:16,688 --> 00:08:18,611 [ Sighs ] We don't have time for this, okay? 240 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,488 I need anaesthetic and deer saline. 241 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,615 Look, I don't know what the law says about this, 242 00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:25,868 but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. 243 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,665 Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them, 244 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,039 or also when eating them at also any meal. 245 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,665 I'm calling my lawyer. 246 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,292 I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon 247 00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:34,338 as I am a hunter. 248 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,291 In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel. 249 00:08:36,374 --> 00:08:39,719 So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, 250 00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:41,546 overly sensitive, clingy, 251 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:43,883 hysterical, bird-brained homunculi. 252 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,262 And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart 253 00:08:45,342 --> 00:08:46,434 half the time 254 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:47,681 because I don't go by height or age, 255 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,513 I go by amount of pain in my ass, 256 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,973 which makes you both identical. 257 00:08:51,056 --> 00:08:52,399 All right, everything resolved? 258 00:08:52,474 --> 00:08:55,227 Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world. 259 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,232 BOTH: - Yes. 260 00:08:56,311 --> 00:08:57,654 All right, perfect. Sit still. 261 00:08:57,729 --> 00:08:59,606 [burps ] arms down. I'm gonna do this again. 262 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:01,566 This time be like Grandpa. 263 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:02,776 You mean drunk? 264 00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,577 What's that? You got something to say? 265 00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:05,620 - No. - And away we go! 266 00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:08,824 And away we go! 267 00:09:08,907 --> 00:09:11,706 - Huh, that's weird. - Huh, that's weird. 268 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,662 [ Button clicking ] 269 00:09:13,745 --> 00:09:14,792 - Oh, my god. - What? 270 00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:15,793 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! 271 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:16,839 What?! 272 00:09:16,915 --> 00:09:17,757 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! 273 00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:18,754 What?! 274 00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,210 Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath. 275 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,590 - Don't you get it?! - don't you get it?! 276 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:23,798 The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore. 277 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,097 He thinks he can save his own skin 278 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,766 by using the crystal to kill me. 279 00:09:26,841 --> 00:09:28,718 He probably figures it's [belches] easier 280 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,678 to eliminate one of the possibilities 281 00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:30,887 rather than merge them. 282 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,097 [ Iaughs ] I have to admit, 283 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,898 it was always in the back of my mind, too. 284 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,851 The difference is I would never do it, until now. 285 00:09:35,934 --> 00:09:37,026 Rick, what the hell are you doing? 286 00:09:37,102 --> 00:09:38,649 Saving our lives! 287 00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:40,981 After he takes me out, he's -- he's gonna be coming for you. 288 00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:42,236 - Who? - Me! 289 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,692 [gunshot] - Aah! 290 00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,243 - Whoa! - You see that? Get down! 291 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,116 I told you, he's a psycho. He's lost it! 292 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,323 Th-th-th-the time fracture must have made him crazy! 293 00:09:49,406 --> 00:09:50,532 - I don't know what to do! - Oh, crap! 294 00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:52,617 - I don't know what to do! [ rumbling ] 295 00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:54,328 [ Device beeps ] 296 00:09:54,411 --> 00:09:56,004 Oh, god, now there's three of them. 297 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,547 We're outnumbered. Get in the cupboards. 298 00:09:57,622 --> 00:09:58,874 Wait, don't -- don't do that. 299 00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:00,300 They'll know. Wait, wait. 300 00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:01,718 Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really. 301 00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:03,795 [gunshots] [screams] 302 00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:06,594 Is this what you want, you sick fuck?! 303 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,641 You want to see children die?! 304 00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:09,718 You son of a bitch. 305 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:12,099 You don't stop living until I say so! 306 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,100 - Michael. 307 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,601 - Who's this now? - My lawyer. 308 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,433 I'm here to notify you, ma'am, that in this county, 309 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:17,984 any deer shot by a hunter 310 00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:20,528 is that hunter's property regardless of how far it runs 311 00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:22,822 or who intercepts it before it dies. 312 00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:24,319 It's called Brad's law. 313 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:25,867 We can't make you stop the surgery, 314 00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:28,036 but at this point, you're performing it on venison. 315 00:10:28,111 --> 00:10:30,239 Actually, I've decided not to eat it. 316 00:10:30,321 --> 00:10:34,201 All this fear and conflict -- I'm sure it's ruined the meat. 317 00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:36,582 I'm just gonna use the head for my rec-room wall. 318 00:10:36,661 --> 00:10:38,584 She normally works on horses. 319 00:10:38,663 --> 00:10:40,631 Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the fuck out of here. 320 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,380 I will reach into heaven 321 00:10:42,459 --> 00:10:44,882 and yank your screaming deer soul back! 322 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:45,928 Jesus. 323 00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:48,013 Shh, shh! 324 00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:49,966 I know where you are, you creepy old monster. 325 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,176 I know how you think. 326 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,102 Oh, is there where you think I'm going? 327 00:10:53,178 --> 00:10:54,270 You think I'm standing here? 328 00:10:54,345 --> 00:10:55,767 Well, maybe you're right. 329 00:10:55,847 --> 00:10:57,724 [Morty grunts] [Rick groans] 330 00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:58,933 SUMMER: Holy shit. Now what? 331 00:10:59,017 --> 00:11:00,360 Well, if all of me knocked out all the Ricks, 332 00:11:00,435 --> 00:11:02,062 and you peed in all of your pants, 333 00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,068 doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized? 334 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,364 - Right. - Okay. 335 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,818 So, from now on, whatever we do, we have to be certain. 336 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:08,902 Right. 337 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,113 I think I'm certain we're effed in the 338 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,919 Oh, god, my head. 339 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:19,621 [groans] What did you guys do? 340 00:11:19,704 --> 00:11:22,583 We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy 341 00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:24,133 and you caused another time fracture. 342 00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:25,552 You tried to kill yourself. 343 00:11:25,627 --> 00:11:27,174 O-only in self-defense. 344 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,721 Myself tried to kill me first. 345 00:11:28,797 --> 00:11:30,299 Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, 346 00:11:30,381 --> 00:11:32,224 but time breaking twice means our problem is 347 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,224 two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. 348 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,180 Well, actually, I do expect you to understand that. 349 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,812 It's basic math. C-can somebody just let me out of here? 350 00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,234 If I die in a cage, I lose a bet. 351 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:42,982 Well, is there some way you can prove 352 00:11:43,061 --> 00:11:44,938 you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore'? 353 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,398 Oh, for god's sake. All right, here. 354 00:11:46,481 --> 00:11:48,483 - Give me the time crystal. - Wh-what are you doing? 355 00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:50,910 Calling myself. Here, listen. 356 00:11:50,985 --> 00:11:52,362 It'll [burps] probably go to voicemail 357 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,992 since, you know, I'm calling myself. 358 00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,949 Hello, Rick here. 359 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,124 Don't fall for it. It's a bit. 360 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,668 Just kidding! Ha, ha! 361 00:11:58,743 --> 00:11:59,835 You just got Ricked. 362 00:11:59,911 --> 00:12:01,128 You've reached Rick's voicemail. 363 00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,205 You know what to do. [beep] 364 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,505 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 365 00:12:03,581 --> 00:12:05,959 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. 366 00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:08,010 I know you know I mean it, too. Take it easy. 367 00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:10,180 Whoa, damn! Look at this. 368 00:12:10,255 --> 00:12:11,848 I'm blowing up -- three new voicemails. 369 00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:13,220 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 370 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,391 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. 371 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,389 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard this one. 372 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,720 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 373 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,851 Hey, Rick, it's -- - You get the idea. 374 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:20,273 [ burps ] W-we're cool now. 375 00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,521 Okay, well, we're still not gonna let you out of this crate. 376 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,273 Fine. I'll just do it myself. 377 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,730 If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you? 378 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,565 Because I waited until I was certain 379 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,150 it was what I wanted to do, Morty. 380 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,576 That's the difference between you and me. 381 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:32,994 I'm certain, and you're 382 00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:35,163 a walking burlap sack filled with turds. 383 00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:36,410 You know, geez, Rick! 384 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,366 Y-y-you're really tearing into me right now. 385 00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:39,496 You know, words hurt. 386 00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:40,998 - Holy! - A monster! 387 00:12:41,077 --> 00:12:42,795 Hey, you -_ Hey, quit yelling. 388 00:12:42,871 --> 00:12:45,545 Quit yelling. What the fuck 389 00:12:45,623 --> 00:12:47,625 your time is all ripped up to hell! 390 00:12:47,709 --> 00:12:49,302 [warbles] You broke your time twice. 391 00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,004 - [sighs] - How did this happen? 392 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,088 [all speaking indistinctly] 393 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,142 Nevermind. Shut the fuck up. Goddamn. 394 00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:57,093 I'm from the fourth dimension. 395 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,724 I can hear all of y'all. 396 00:12:58,803 --> 00:13:00,726 Now let's just see what we got here for a second. 397 00:13:00,805 --> 00:13:02,432 - [groans] - Goddamn it. 398 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,313 Were you trying to use this to -- 399 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,316 Oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could 400 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,318 just stick it back together with this? 401 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,444 How you think you gonna move time 402 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,740 while you're standing in it, 403 00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:14,194 you dumbass three-dimensional monkey-ass dummies? 404 00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,529 Oh, way to go, Rick. 405 00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:17,034 Yeah, Grandpa, way to go. 406 00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,786 What, you're just gonna listen to this guy now? 407 00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,742 He's got a giant testicle for a head. 408 00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:22,077 He came here in a bubble. 409 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,252 For all we know, he could be 410 00:13:23,328 --> 00:13:25,751 the David Berkowitz of Nutsackland. 411 00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:28,049 Shut up. Here, put these on. 412 00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:29,626 They'll sync your possibilities up 413 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,586 so I can bring you back to certain time. 414 00:13:31,669 --> 00:13:34,092 Y'all are just -- just -- just negligent. 415 00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,845 See, now -- now look right here. 416 00:13:35,924 --> 00:13:38,097 Hey, hey, hey, the three of you, put your collars on. 417 00:13:38,176 --> 00:13:39,348 - We have them on. - What are you talking about? 418 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:40,553 - Uh, we did. - We're not wearing collars. 419 00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:42,355 Exactly. 'Cause you're being obstinate. 420 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,477 [ Belches ] What? 421 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,184 Put the damn collars on if you want to live. 422 00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:47,519 - They're on right now. - We did. They're on. 423 00:13:47,602 --> 00:13:49,946 All right, fine. Summer, Morty, put them on. 424 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:51,648 [ Device beeps ] 425 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:52,732 [warbling ] 426 00:13:53,274 --> 00:13:54,446 - Yes, we're back! - No more cats! 427 00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:56,368 - We're back in certain time. - Problem solved. 428 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,491 No more cats! Oh, you did it! 429 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,413 - You fixed it. - Yeah, I did. 430 00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:01,082 Now keep those collars on so you 431 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,579 don't break your weak-ass time again. 432 00:14:02,659 --> 00:14:04,878 How long, exactly, do we have to wear these things? 433 00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:06,125 They're really embarrassing. 434 00:14:06,204 --> 00:14:08,377 Well, since you're going to time prison, 435 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,959 I'd say you can keep them on forever. 436 00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:12,385 - Time prison? - Yeah. 437 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,383 Well, I don't know where you expect me to think 438 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,009 you got that crystal over there, 439 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,935 but the only way your dumbass assin' ass asses 440 00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,558 could ever have one is if it was stolen. 441 00:14:22,637 --> 00:14:25,311 You stole a time-freezing crystal from testicle monsters?! 442 00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:27,984 I would've been happy to pay for it, s-- [burps] Summer, 443 00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:30,061 but they don't exactly sell them at Costco. 444 00:14:30,144 --> 00:14:32,897 Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him! 445 00:14:32,981 --> 00:14:34,324 No, no, no, no! You better keep back! 446 00:14:34,399 --> 00:14:35,992 Man, this will turn your ass 447 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,115 into a third-trimester fetus from 30 yards. 448 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:40,196 [ Monitor beeping ] 449 00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:41,489 Mm. 450 00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:44,621 Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure? 451 00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:47,124 That's right, Mrs. Smith. Give in to your anger. 452 00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:49,297 Neglect that deer. 453 00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:51,215 Honey, it's gonna be okay. 454 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,134 These men are from the Cervine Institute 455 00:14:53,209 --> 00:14:54,882 of of elk, moose, deer, and stag. 456 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,634 They can take this deer to a helicopter 457 00:14:56,713 --> 00:14:58,841 and fly it to the country's top deer surgeon 458 00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:01,142 on a wildlife reserve across the state border. 459 00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:03,390 Where your jurisdiction ends. 460 00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:07,019 I guess that's the end of that. 461 00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,566 There is just one more thing. 462 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,235 According to this state's Veterinarian statute, 463 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,154 this animal can't be transferred 464 00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,197 until the current attending physician 465 00:15:15,273 --> 00:15:17,867 verbally confirms their inability 466 00:15:17,942 --> 00:15:19,569 to provide adequate care. 467 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,996 You heard the man, horse doctor. 468 00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:25,450 You have to say you couldn't hack it. 469 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,286 We did it! 470 00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:30,212 Uh-huh. No, mother -- no. Earth, dude. 471 00:15:30,288 --> 00:15:32,541 No, I'm talking about -- Yeah, with the dinosaurs. 472 00:15:32,623 --> 00:15:35,217 No, if you get to the dolphin people, you gone too far. 473 00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:37,387 All right, man, I'll talk to you later. Okay. 474 00:15:37,462 --> 00:15:39,009 You know what they do 475 00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,931 to third-dimensional life forms in time prison? 476 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,101 Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever. 477 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,473 Why are you doing this? 478 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,896 You think I want to be an omniscient immortal being 479 00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:48,598 transcending time and space my whole life? 480 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,024 I got ambitions, man. 481 00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:51,942 Bringing you guys in is my ticket up. 482 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,942 What if I told you there's a huge ticket 483 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,147 up right behind you? 484 00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,322 You really think I'm that stupid? 485 00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:59,071 All right, hear me out on this. 486 00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:01,027 You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite. 487 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,033 Okay, well, then that means there's a 100% chance 488 00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,455 that you'll eventually do everything, 489 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,908 including turning around to look behind you. 490 00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:08,117 I cannot argue that. 491 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,919 [thud! ] - Aaah! 492 00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:12,213 [squeals] - Oh, god, gross and weird! 493 00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:14,382 - Chris! [ splat! ] 494 00:16:14,457 --> 00:16:15,925 You killed my gun! 495 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,377 RICK: Summer, Morty, take off your collars. 496 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,087 What? What the hell are you doing? 497 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:23,516 Good question. I suppose the answer is I'm not certain. 498 00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,093 Oh, no, what are you doing? 499 00:16:25,176 --> 00:16:26,894 - I have no idea. - I'm not sure. 500 00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,346 Stop it! 501 00:16:28,429 --> 00:16:31,023 [echoing] Maybe I will, maybe I won't. 502 00:16:31,099 --> 00:16:33,101 I'm really uncertain about everything, 503 00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:34,401 even kicking your ass. 504 00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:35,945 List-- hey! Tw-- ow! 505 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:38,022 But the-- these arms are vestigial! [grunts] 506 00:16:38,106 --> 00:16:39,574 Now, you poked me where an eye would've been 507 00:16:39,649 --> 00:16:41,401 about 6 million years ago. 508 00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:43,407 SUMMER: [echoing] Come on, let's help Grandpa. 509 00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:45,864 MORTY: [echoing] Yes! I'm 100% not sure about anything! 510 00:16:45,947 --> 00:16:47,540 Yeah, totally uncertain. 511 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,413 Beat his ass! Get him! Beat him up! 512 00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:51,870 - Kick his ass, Rick! - Die, motherfucker. 513 00:16:51,953 --> 00:16:53,250 Ow! I'm defeated. 514 00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:55,252 - What's happening? - Time is falling apart. 515 00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:56,548 We've got to get back to certainty quick. 516 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,092 Give me your collars. 517 00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,010 Oh, man. Don't you have to fix, like, 30 of them? 518 00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,463 Morty, I have to fix three of them. 519 00:17:01,546 --> 00:17:03,219 And then there's 31 other versions of me 520 00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:05,891 that have to also fix three, for a total of 96. 521 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,186 I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive. 522 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,729 Now hand me that flat-head screwdriver. 523 00:17:09,804 --> 00:17:12,102 - Actually, make it a flat-head. - Actually, make it a phillips. 524 00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:13,854 Oh, shit. 525 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,733 Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today. 526 00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:19,314 I know it's my fault we hit the deer. 527 00:17:19,397 --> 00:17:21,445 And I know you wanted to be the one to save it. 528 00:17:21,524 --> 00:17:22,525 Whatever. 529 00:17:23,568 --> 00:17:25,286 How petty would I have to be to care less 530 00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,705 about an animal's life than my own ego? 531 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,330 Well, you'd have to be pretty petty. 532 00:17:31,409 --> 00:17:33,411 But you'd still be the woman I married. 533 00:17:33,494 --> 00:17:35,292 [ Car rattles ] - Where are we going? 534 00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:37,499 One last stop. 535 00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:39,584 [tires squeal] 536 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,045 Where's the helicopter? 537 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,005 There is no helicopter. 538 00:17:44,088 --> 00:17:46,056 And there is no Cervine Institute. 539 00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:47,725 But the top deer surgeon... 540 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,598 I'm looking at her. 541 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:50,849 Thanks for teeing me up like that. 542 00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:52,180 You better get moving. 543 00:17:52,263 --> 00:17:54,015 These lights are designed for basic ice-cream work. 544 00:17:54,098 --> 00:17:55,645 They're not gonna last all night. 545 00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:57,147 I need five minutes. 546 00:17:57,226 --> 00:18:00,275 [ Upbeat music plays] 547 00:18:27,548 --> 00:18:31,598 Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had. 548 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,850 Thanks to Cold Stone Creamery. 549 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,557 You're welcome. 550 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,358 RICK: Okay, collars are done. Put them on. 551 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:39,060 We're out of time. It's ironic, huh? 552 00:18:39,143 --> 00:18:40,144 [ Beeping ] 553 00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:43,193 Huh? Wait a minute. 554 00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:44,319 - Great. - Rick! 555 00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:45,320 What's going on? 556 00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,197 The collar. Oh, the latch is broken. 557 00:18:47,276 --> 00:18:48,493 It won't latch closed around my neck. 558 00:18:48,569 --> 00:18:49,570 - Oh, are you kidding me? - Geez, what's going on? 559 00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:51,076 How come our collars aren't green? 560 00:18:51,155 --> 00:18:52,782 Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put 561 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,414 his collar on, and one of me is stuck trying to help him. 562 00:18:55,493 --> 00:18:56,710 Don't blame this on me. 563 00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,083 You're the one that couldn't fix a latch. 564 00:18:58,162 --> 00:18:59,539 What are you talking about? It's not broken, Morty. 565 00:18:59,622 --> 00:19:01,090 I fixed it. Just put it on. 566 00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:02,917 It won't close. It's broken. 567 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,752 Fine, bring it here. 568 00:19:04,835 --> 00:19:06,087 [groans] Oh! 569 00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:07,968 - Rick! - Morty! 570 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,048 [ Screams ] 571 00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:10,808 Oh, really, Morty? Well, I'm sorry. 572 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,477 I'm not the one who's so fucking uncertain about everything. 573 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,679 You know what I'm certain of, Rick? 574 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,389 I've really made up my mind about this. 575 00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,019 I never want to see you again! 576 00:19:18,099 --> 00:19:20,193 You're never gonna see anything again, you little dummy! 577 00:19:20,268 --> 00:19:22,691 You killed us! 578 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,113 God damn it. [ grunts ] 579 00:19:24,188 --> 00:19:25,189 ♪♪ 580 00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:30,702 Rick! Oh! 581 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,121 Morty, where's your collar? I'll fix it. 582 00:19:32,196 --> 00:19:33,823 I dropped it. 583 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:34,907 [ Beeping ] 584 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:38,502 What the hell? What have you done to me, Morty? 585 00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:42,419 I'm okay with this. Be good, Morty. 586 00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:44,171 Be better than me. 587 00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:47,678 Oh shit! The other collar! 588 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,256 I'm not okay with this. I am not okay with this! 589 00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:51,591 Oh, sweet Jesus, please let me live. 590 00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:53,267 Oh, my god, I have to -- I've got to fix this thing. 591 00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:55,140 Please, god in heaven. Please, God. 592 00:19:55,219 --> 00:19:56,721 Oh, lord, hear my prayers. 593 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,852 [collar beeps] Yes! Fuck you, God! 594 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,229 Not today, bitch! 595 00:20:01,309 --> 00:20:03,437 Please, God, if there's a hell, please be merciful to me. 596 00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,613 [collar beeps] 597 00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:07,565 Yes, I did it! There is no God! 598 00:20:07,648 --> 00:20:08,900 In your face! 599 00:20:08,983 --> 00:20:10,781 One dot, motherfucker! 600 00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:12,362 Yes! Oh- yes! 601 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,289 All right, you know what I'm talking about. 602 00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:16,661 - Oh, that was a close call. - Oh, yeah! 603 00:20:16,741 --> 00:20:18,243 I'm gonna do the cabbage patch, Morty. 604 00:20:18,326 --> 00:20:19,327 - Oh, yeah, do it. - Check me out. 605 00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:20,411 I'm doing the Cabbage Patch. 606 00:20:20,494 --> 00:20:21,746 - Do it right. - I'm doing it, too. 607 00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,046 - Do the cabbage patch. - It's a classic dance. 608 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,999 - Do it. Do the dance. - Oh shit look at that. 609 00:20:25,082 --> 00:20:27,426 Hey, wait a second, how come you guys took longer to gel here? 610 00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:30,846 I don't know. I think, like, 1/64 of my collars didn't work. 611 00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:32,343 It's hard to keep straight now 612 00:20:32,423 --> 00:20:34,551 that I have 63 other memories of everything. 613 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:35,601 Yeah. 614 00:20:35,676 --> 00:20:37,269 But I feel like one of the 64 Ricks, 615 00:20:37,345 --> 00:20:38,767 like, sacrificed himself for me? 616 00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:41,474 - Maybe? I think? - Shut up, Morty. 617 00:20:41,557 --> 00:20:43,855 The last time you felt something, we all almost died. 618 00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:45,311 You little piece of shit. 619 00:20:45,394 --> 00:20:46,646 BETH: Hey, guys, we're home. 620 00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:47,855 TOGETHER: Mom! Dad! 621 00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:49,611 Uh, hold the phone. 622 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:52,193 Where did you guys get those necklaces from? 623 00:20:52,276 --> 00:20:54,574 Uh, Lady Gaga, table for three. Am I right? 624 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,782 Are you guys Power Rangers, 625 00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,366 but only on one small part of your necks? 626 00:20:58,449 --> 00:20:59,996 Hey, do those things need batteries? 627 00:21:00,076 --> 00:21:01,703 Were they included? Cleanup in the fruit aisle. 628 00:21:01,786 --> 00:21:04,130 Not in a homophobic way, though. 629 00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:05,923 They're just fruity necklaces is what I was saying. 630 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:06,965 I'm gonna pee my pants! 631 00:21:07,041 --> 00:21:07,963 Somebody call the planet of "Tron"! 632 00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:09,089 Doesn't feel so good, does it? 633 00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:10,010 We have three "Tron" people over here. 634 00:21:10,086 --> 00:21:11,804 No, it doesn't. It hurts. 635 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,007 Seriously, are these halloween costumes? 636 00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:15,307 Are you going as motorcycles 637 00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:17,135 with green headlights instead of normal ones? 638 00:21:17,218 --> 00:21:19,220 Are you dogs? Robot dogs? [laughs] 639 00:21:19,303 --> 00:21:21,681 Gosh, you guys are lame. 640 00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:23,641 Are those chokers from the '90s? 641 00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:26,398 What is this, a '90s nostalgia thing? 642 00:21:26,477 --> 00:21:29,947 Are you guys in that movie "The Craft" with Fairuza Balk? 643 00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:33,117 [ Dramatic electronic music Ways ] 644 00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:04,181 [warbling ] 645 00:22:06,475 --> 00:22:08,227 Hey, man, when the hell were you? 646 00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:09,607 Looking for you, asshole. 647 00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:11,109 I told you past the dinosaurs. 648 00:22:11,188 --> 00:22:13,441 You know how much time is past the dinosaurs? 649 00:22:13,524 --> 00:22:14,650 Half of all time! 650 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:15,701 Come on, man. It's this way. 651 00:22:15,776 --> 00:22:16,868 - Come on. - Give me that thing. 652 00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:18,116 Speed it up. He can't be this far back. 653 00:22:18,195 --> 00:22:19,492 No, no, there he is. There he is. There he is. 654 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,869 There he is. Stop, stop. 655 00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:23,076 - So, that's the guy, huh? - Yeah, that's him. 656 00:22:23,159 --> 00:22:24,752 Hey, man. Remember me? 657 00:22:24,827 --> 00:22:26,374 I got something for your ass. [ grunting ] 658 00:22:26,454 --> 00:22:28,456 Don't...mess...with time! 659 00:22:28,539 --> 00:22:30,792 You don't fuck with time! 660 00:22:30,875 --> 00:22:31,876 Motherfucker! 661 00:22:33,794 --> 00:22:34,795 [warbles] 662 00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,089 [groans] 663 00:22:37,465 --> 00:22:41,015 [German accent] I will mess with time. 664 00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:42,686 [ Whimpers ] I will mess with time. 665 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,888 [ Shouting ] 666 00:22:43,971 --> 00:22:45,314 MAN: Did you get any of that? 667 00:22:45,389 --> 00:22:47,391 MAN: [ Italian accent] It's a good show.