1
00:00:02,429 --> 00:00:04,199
♪ CONNECTION
2
00:00:04,201 --> 00:00:06,269
♪ EXPERIENCE
3
00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:08,039
YEAH, MORTY.
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,377
♪ COME TOGETHER
5
00:00:10,379 --> 00:00:13,517
♪ WITH LOVE, CONNECTION,
AND EXPERIENCE ♪
6
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IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG.
[ Laughing ] OH, YEAH.
7
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[ ALARM BEEPS ]
OH, YEAH,
DISTRESS BEACON!
8
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[ BELCHES ] YEAH, BABY!
9
00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:21,800
YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT THAT?
10
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THE FIRST RULE
OF SPACE TRAVEL, KIDS,
11
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IS ALWAYS CHECK OUT
DISTRESS BEACONS.
12
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9 OUT OF 10 TIMES,
IT'S A SHIP FULL OF DEAD ALIENS
13
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AND A BUNCH OF FREE SHIT!
14
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Both: WHOA!
1 OUT OF 10 TIMES,
IT'S A DEADLY TRAP,
15
00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:33,390
BUT I'M READY
TO ROLL THOSE DICE.
16
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♪
17
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SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAPPENED HERE.
18
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YEP. CHA-CHING.
19
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OH, YEAH, IF YOU FIND
A ROOM FULL OF EGGS,
20
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DON'T SHY AWAY FROM IT.
21
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GIVE ONE OF THEM A SHAKE.
22
00:00:49,824 --> 00:00:51,459
THOSE FACEHUGGERS
ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS SHIP.
23
00:00:51,461 --> 00:00:53,330
UH, WHAT'S THAT?
THIS'LL MAKE THE COPS
WRITE IT UP
24
00:00:53,332 --> 00:00:55,066
AS A LOOTING
BY THE KORBLOCKS.
25
00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:58,307
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
I HEAR YOU, MAN.
COPS ARE RACIST.
26
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OH, HEY. YOU'RE ALIVE.
THANK GOD.
27
00:01:01,248 --> 00:01:02,848
CAN YOU HELP US?
28
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,588
OUR PLANET WAS TAKEN OVER
BY SOME KIND OF...ENTITY.
29
00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:07,425
IT ABSORBED
THE MINDS OF OUR PEOPLE.
30
00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:09,262
WE DIDN'T NOTICE
UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.
31
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THE PEOPLE IT TAKES OVER,
32
00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:11,967
THEY -- THEY LOOK
LIKE YOUR FRIENDS,
33
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YOUR FAMILY, YOUR LEADERS,
34
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,176
BUT THEY'RE NOT
THEMSELVES ANYMORE.
35
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THEY'RE PART OF...IT.
36
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THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT DIDN'T GET ON
THE SHIP WITH YOU?
37
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,190
THOSE TWO DINGDONGS
SEEM PRETTY CALM ABOUT
THE WHOLE THING.
38
00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:24,892
[ BOTH SCREECH ]
39
00:01:24,894 --> 00:01:26,529
HEY, NO!
NO, WAIT! STOP!
40
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[ SCREAMING ]
41
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CALLED IT.
42
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[ GURGLES ]
43
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[ RAY GUN BEEPS ]
44
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All: HELLO, RICK.
45
00:01:33,077 --> 00:01:34,412
LONG TIME NO SEE.
46
00:01:34,414 --> 00:01:35,381
UNITY?
47
00:01:35,383 --> 00:01:36,449
RICK?
GRANDPA?
48
00:01:36,451 --> 00:01:37,952
OH, BOY. UH...
49
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THESE ARE MY GRANDKIDS,
SUMMER AND MORTY.
50
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SUMMER, MORTY,
THIS IS, UH, UNITY.
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WE SORT OF USED TO,
UH...DATE.
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♪
53
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[ DOG PANTING ]
54
00:02:02,269 --> 00:02:04,339
[ ENGINE HUMS IN DISTANCE ]
55
00:02:07,546 --> 00:02:09,982
QUITE AN OPERATION
YOU GOT GOING HERE, UNE.
56
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YOU'RE A WHOLE PLANET NOW,
HUH?
57
00:02:11,355 --> 00:02:12,655
AFTER WE BROKE UP,
58
00:02:12,657 --> 00:02:14,559
I SPENT SOME TIME
WANDERING THROUGH SPACE.
59
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THEN I FOUND THIS WORLD...
...WHERE I WAS BETTER ABLE
60
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TO FOCUS ON MY PASSION
FOR UNIFICATION.
61
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:22,508
YOU MEAN
STEALING PEOPLE'S BODIES?
SUMMER, RUDE.
62
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,679
WHY DON'T YOU TWO KIDS
GO RUN OFF AND PLAY WITH UNITY
63
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WHILE UNITY AND I
DO SOME CATCHING UP.
64
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UGH.
NO, WAIT, RICK,
65
00:02:28,255 --> 00:02:30,357
AREN'T THESE PEOPLE
GONNA BARF INTO OUR
MOUTHS AND ABSORB US?
66
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,060
YOU'RE GUESTS HERE
ON MY PLANET.
67
00:02:32,062 --> 00:02:33,463
YOU'RE FREE
TO BE YOURSELVES.
68
00:02:33,465 --> 00:02:35,667
I'VE NEVER BEEN ANY GOOD
AT DISAPPOINTING RICK.
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WELL,
NOW I'M GOING TO BARF.
70
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COME ON, MORTY.
71
00:02:42,282 --> 00:02:44,685
JERRY, WHAT ARE YOU --
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
72
00:02:44,687 --> 00:02:47,558
I'M TRYING TO FIND
OUR WEED WHACKER,
73
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,097
'CAUSE OUR WEEDS
ARE WACK, YO.
74
00:02:50,099 --> 00:02:53,236
BUT YOU CAN'T GO IN THE GARAGE
WHEN RICK'S NOT HERE.
I "CAN'T"?
75
00:02:53,238 --> 00:02:55,240
WELL,
HE DOESN'T LIKE IT.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?
76
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,378
CRASH RENT-FREE
AT HIS OTHER FAMILY'S HOUSE?
77
00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,814
WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
78
00:02:58,816 --> 00:03:00,584
YOUR DAD GETS TO WALK
ALL OVER US
79
00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:02,421
BECAUSE OF
YOUR ABANDONMENT ISSUES.
80
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,459
HE'S PLAYING YOU, SHORTY.
81
00:03:04,461 --> 00:03:06,763
OH, STOP AFFECTING
THAT STUPID HIP-HOP DIALECT.
82
00:03:06,765 --> 00:03:09,502
STOP SHIFTING THE CROSS HAIRS
TO MY IRONIC URBAN PATOIS
83
00:03:09,504 --> 00:03:11,806
JUST BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR FATHER
84
00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:13,410
IS TO' UP
FROM THE FLO' UP.
85
00:03:13,412 --> 00:03:15,547
[ SCREECHING ]
86
00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:16,683
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
87
00:03:16,685 --> 00:03:18,220
I DON'T KNOW.
LET'S JUST LEAVE.
88
00:03:18,222 --> 00:03:20,891
[ GURGLING ]
89
00:03:20,893 --> 00:03:22,328
THAT IS A HATCH.
90
00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:24,465
YOUR FATHER PUT A HATCH
IN MY GARAGE.
91
00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:25,901
YOU DON'T KNOW
IT WAS HIM.
92
00:03:25,903 --> 00:03:27,771
ANYWAY, WE'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE.
93
00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:31,179
OBVIOUSLY, NEITHER IS WHATEVER'S
GURGLING DOWN THERE.
94
00:03:31,181 --> 00:03:32,815
[ SCREECH, GURGLE ]
95
00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:37,424
"WORLD PEACE ACHIEVED."
NICE.
96
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,195
LITTLE WEIRD TO PUBLISH
A PAPER ABOUT IT
97
00:03:39,197 --> 00:03:40,163
FOR YOURSELF, BUT HEY.
98
00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:41,399
SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
99
00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:43,403
AFTER I BECOME
A TYPE-ONE CIVILIZATION,
100
00:03:43,405 --> 00:03:46,476
THIS WORLD WILL BE INVITED
INTO THE GALACTIC FEDERATION.
101
00:03:46,478 --> 00:03:47,678
OH, GOODY.
102
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,248
FROM THERE,
I'LL HAVE ACCESS TO
103
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,951
COUNTLESS PLANETS
AND SPECIES.
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00:03:50,953 --> 00:03:52,888
ONE BY ONE,
I WILL UNIFY THEM,
105
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:54,358
I WILL BECOME THE UNIVERSE,
106
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,362
AND I WILL BE WHAT
THE SINGLE-MINDED
107
00:03:56,364 --> 00:03:57,398
ONCE CALLED A GOD.
108
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,700
[ BELCHES ] I LIKE THAT.
109
00:03:58,702 --> 00:04:00,404
OH, THAT'S PRETTY SEXY.
110
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,374
HEY, LISTEN, WHERE CAN WE GET
A DRINK AROUND HERE?
111
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,545
RECREATIONAL SUBSTANCES
WERE PHASED OUT HERE.
112
00:04:04,547 --> 00:04:06,749
THERE'S NO NEED
FOR ESCAPE FROM THE SELF
113
00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:07,985
WHEN YOUR WORLD IS ONE.
114
00:04:07,987 --> 00:04:09,622
UNITY, UNITY,
WHO AM I TALKING TO?
115
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,793
I WATCHED YOU ASSIMILATE
A WHOLE POLICE STATION
116
00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:13,964
JUST TO GET YOUR HANDS ON
THE EVIDENCE LOCKER.
117
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:16,536
RICK, WHEN WE MET,
I WAS A YOUNG HIVE MIND
118
00:04:16,538 --> 00:04:18,673
WITH THE POPULATION
OF A SMALL TOWN.
119
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,611
PEOPLE CHANGE...
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
120
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:21,879
ESPECIALLY
WHEN I CHANGE THEM.
121
00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:23,383
I'M SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU,
122
00:04:23,385 --> 00:04:24,885
BUT I'VE GROWN.
123
00:04:24,887 --> 00:04:26,889
HEY, LISTEN,
I'VE GROWN, TOO.
124
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,627
I HAVE!
125
00:04:28,629 --> 00:04:30,497
SEE, I'VE -- I'VE RECONNECTED
WITH MY FAMILY, RIGHT?
126
00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:31,933
HM.
WHY'S THAT, I WONDER?
127
00:04:31,935 --> 00:04:33,770
MAYBE IT'S
PART OF GETTING OLD.
128
00:04:33,772 --> 00:04:37,578
MAYBE I JUST MISSED
BEING WITH A COLLECTIVE.
129
00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:39,014
[ MOANING ]
130
00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:40,651
All: YES, RICK. YES.
131
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OH, YEAH.
YES. YES.
132
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:44,425
WAIT, WAIT. STOP.
HOLD IT.
133
00:04:44,427 --> 00:04:45,527
NOT LIKE THIS.
134
00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:46,763
WE NEED A HANG GLIDER
135
00:04:46,765 --> 00:04:48,500
AND A CROTCHLESS
UNCLE SAM COSTUME,
136
00:04:48,502 --> 00:04:50,637
AND I WANT THE ENTIRE FIELD
OF YOUR LARGEST STADIUM
137
00:04:50,639 --> 00:04:52,541
COVERED END TO END
WITH NAKED REDHEADS,
138
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,910
AND I WANT THE STANDS PACKED
139
00:04:53,912 --> 00:04:56,549
WITH EVERY MAN THAT REMOTELY
RESEMBLES MY FATHER.
140
00:04:56,551 --> 00:04:59,655
[ TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS ]
141
00:05:02,529 --> 00:05:04,432
MAN, LOOK AT THEM GO.
SO COORDINATED.
142
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,102
[ GULPS ]
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
143
00:05:06,104 --> 00:05:08,606
THEY'RE MAKING YOU INTO
A MOUNT RUSHMORE.
144
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:09,675
THEY MADE BURGERS!
145
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:10,977
MORTY, OPEN YOUR EYES.
146
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,548
THERE IS NO "THEY."
147
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:14,819
THESE POOR PEOPLE'S BODIES
ARE BEING USED.
148
00:05:14,821 --> 00:05:16,021
THEY'RE A PLANET
OF PUPPETS.
149
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:17,725
I CAN HEAR YOU.
UGH.
150
00:05:17,727 --> 00:05:19,762
WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE
EVERYBODY HERE'S COOL WITH IT.
151
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:21,466
EXCEPT FOR
ALL THOSE REDHEADS.
152
00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:23,068
THEY SEEM LIKE
THEY'RE IN A HURRY
153
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:24,138
TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
154
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:24,972
BALLOON, SUMMER?
155
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,509
BALLOON, MORTY?
156
00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:28,513
NO, WE DON'T WANT
YOUR DUMB BALLOONS, OKAY?
157
00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:30,049
WE'RE BORED.
TAKE US BACK TO RICK.
158
00:05:30,051 --> 00:05:31,886
NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
159
00:05:32,756 --> 00:05:34,825
OH, YEAH!
160
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:37,765
I WANT YOOOOOOOU!
161
00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:39,033
All: [ Chanting ]
GO, SON, GO!
162
00:05:39,035 --> 00:05:42,441
GO, SON, GO!
GO, SON, GO!
163
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,914
OH, REAL NICE.
REAL NICE.
164
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:47,851
HOW DOES A MAN DO THIS
WITHOUT ME NOTICING?
165
00:05:47,853 --> 00:05:48,987
OH, YOU KNOW MY DAD
166
00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,423
ONCE HE PUTS HIS MIND
TO SOMETHING.
167
00:05:50,425 --> 00:05:51,926
YOU'RE SPINNING THIS
TO HIS CREDIT?
168
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:53,730
[ SCREECHING, GURGLING ]
169
00:05:53,732 --> 00:05:55,167
I'M GOING DOWN THERE.
170
00:05:55,169 --> 00:05:57,104
JERRY --
BETH,
THIS IS MY HOUSE,
171
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,475
WHICH MAKES THIS MY GARAGE,
MY SECRET HATCH,
172
00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:01,979
MY HIDDEN SUBTERRANEAN LAIR,
AND MY FACELESS GARGLER.
173
00:06:01,981 --> 00:06:04,083
NOW, ARE YOU GONNA KEEP
HATING THIS PLAYA
174
00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:05,821
OR ARE YOU GONNA
JACK MY STEEZ?
175
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,825
OKAY, YOU'RE JUST
MAKING STUFF UP NOW.
176
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:09,795
[ APPLAUSE ]
UGH. OH, MY GOD.
177
00:06:09,797 --> 00:06:11,165
OH, MY GOD.
178
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:12,868
UGH!
[ GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! ]
179
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,039
OH, RICK.
THAT WAS SO BAD.
180
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,909
WHAT'S THIS "WAS" STUFF?
181
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:18,746
I JUST NEED TO HYDRATE,
182
00:06:18,748 --> 00:06:20,684
THEN WE'RE
DOING THAT AGAIN.
[ SPACESHIPS WHIR ]
183
00:06:20,686 --> 00:06:22,788
OH, DAMN.
LISTEN,
IF THIS IS AN INVASION,
184
00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:24,191
I GOT TO SIT THIS ONE OUT,
185
00:06:24,193 --> 00:06:26,162
BUT I'LL BE BACK TO HAVE SEX
WITH THE SURVIVORS.
186
00:06:26,164 --> 00:06:27,631
IT'S A NEIGHBORING
HIVE-MIND SPECIES,
187
00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:28,833
BETA SEVEN.
188
00:06:28,835 --> 00:06:30,871
OUR PLANETS MAINTAIN
A PRACTICAL ALLIANCE
189
00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:32,975
FOR EXCHANGE OF VITAL RESOURCES,
190
00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:34,845
SO BE NICE.
191
00:06:34,847 --> 00:06:36,182
UNITY,
192
00:06:36,184 --> 00:06:38,253
IS IT A BAD TIME?
193
00:06:38,255 --> 00:06:42,294
ARE ALL PRESENT LIFE FORMS
ASSIMILATED?
194
00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:45,133
BETA SEVEN,
THIS IS MY SINGLE-MINDED FRIEND
195
00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:46,302
FROM EARTH, RICK.
196
00:06:46,304 --> 00:06:48,940
RICK SANCHEZ.
197
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,143
UNITY HAS SPOKEN OF YOU.
198
00:06:50,145 --> 00:06:51,946
ALL BAD, I HOPE.
HA HA!
199
00:06:51,948 --> 00:06:53,249
All:
BLEEEEEEEEEH!
200
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:54,818
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
201
00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:57,291
BETA SEVEN, IF MY ALLIES
ARE A PROBLEM FOR YOU,
202
00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:59,261
PERHAPS OUR ALLIANCE IS,
AS WELL.
203
00:06:59,263 --> 00:07:00,897
OUR ALLIANCE IS BENEFICIAL.
204
00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,935
WHEN BETA SEVEN
EXPRESSES CONCERN,
205
00:07:02,937 --> 00:07:04,805
IT -- IT'S ONLY
BE-BECAUSE --
206
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:07,210
OH, SNAP!
POWDERED NEUTRONIUM?
207
00:07:07,212 --> 00:07:08,780
AMPHETETRON?
208
00:07:08,782 --> 00:07:10,116
YOU KNOW I CAN MAKE
WITH THIS STUFF?
209
00:07:10,118 --> 00:07:12,587
OH, RICK,
I -- I SHOULDN'T.
210
00:07:12,589 --> 00:07:14,658
COME ON. IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
THAT I'M TOWN.
211
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,228
IT'S --
IT'S FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
212
00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:18,833
UH...OKAY, WHAT THE HELL.
213
00:07:18,835 --> 00:07:21,706
WE CAN PURIFY THE RESIN
AND MAKE FRACTAL DUST.
214
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,077
OH, I WAS THINKING
VELOCITINIS, BUT --
215
00:07:24,079 --> 00:07:27,083
AW, OLD MAN RICK CAN'T PARTY
WITH A WHOLE PLANET?
216
00:07:27,085 --> 00:07:28,920
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
217
00:07:28,922 --> 00:07:32,227
I CAN DO WHATEVER
YOU DO AND MORE, BABY.
218
00:07:32,229 --> 00:07:34,098
[ ALL GROANING ]
219
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,335
YOU KNOW, I THINK [BELCHES]
BETA SEVEN OVER THERE
220
00:07:36,337 --> 00:07:38,840
IS HOPING YOUR ALLIANCE
CAN BE MORE THAN PRACTICAL.
221
00:07:38,842 --> 00:07:40,243
[ LAUGHING ]
STOP.
222
00:07:40,245 --> 00:07:44,218
[ LAUGHTER ]
223
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:48,226
WELL, THIS EXPLAINS
THE $6,000 ELECTRIC BILL.
224
00:07:49,863 --> 00:07:51,165
WHOA!
225
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:53,236
[ SCREECHES ]
226
00:07:53,238 --> 00:07:56,442
WELL, NICE. REAL NICE.
227
00:07:56,444 --> 00:07:58,246
ALIEN PRISONERS
UNDER THE HOUSE.
228
00:07:58,248 --> 00:07:59,915
REAL NICE.
229
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,454
NICE.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEAL --
230
00:08:02,456 --> 00:08:03,990
GOD DAMN IT, STOP.
231
00:08:03,992 --> 00:08:07,029
WAKE UP, PEOPLE!
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT!
232
00:08:07,031 --> 00:08:09,735
YOU'RE UNDER THE SPELL
OF AN EVIL MONSTER!
233
00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:12,374
I CAN HEAR YOU.
YEAH, SO YOU KEEP SAYING.
234
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:13,910
[ GRUNTS ]
235
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:15,713
SUMMER!
WAKE UP!
236
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,884
YOU HAVE TO HAVE
SOME INDIVIDUALITY
LEFT IN THERE!
237
00:08:17,886 --> 00:08:19,822
WHY DO YOU HATE ME,
SUMMER?
238
00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:21,225
I'M NOT TALKING YOU.
239
00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:23,930
I'M TALKING TO...
STEVEN PHILLIPS.
240
00:08:23,932 --> 00:08:26,335
STEVEN,
SET YOURSELF FREE.
241
00:08:26,337 --> 00:08:28,906
SUMMER, BEFORE I TOOK OVER
THIS PLANET,
242
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:31,278
THIS MAN WAS
A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER.
243
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,118
YEAH? WELL, SO WHAT?
AT LEAST HE WAS HIMSELF.
244
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,157
THIS WOMAN WAS A DRUG ADDICT
ON THE VERGE OF SUICIDE.
245
00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:39,060
NOW SHE'S
A MARINE BIOLOGIST.
246
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:41,064
LISTEN, UNITY, I DON'T THINK
MY SISTER'S TRYING TO SAY
247
00:08:41,066 --> 00:08:42,467
THAT LIFE WOULD BE PERFECT
WITHOUT YOU.
248
00:08:42,469 --> 00:08:44,171
I THINK SHE'S JUST SAYING
THAT LIFE WOULD BE,
249
00:08:44,173 --> 00:08:45,507
YOU KNOW, LIFE.
250
00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:48,346
I HAVE TRANSFORMED LIFE HERE
INTO A PARADISE.
251
00:08:48,348 --> 00:08:50,383
PROSTITUTES
ARE NOW SCIENTISTS.
252
00:08:50,385 --> 00:08:52,854
THE HOMELESS
ARE NOW "PHISOSOPHERS."
253
00:08:52,856 --> 00:08:54,424
OH. OH.
"PH-PHISOSOPHERS"? NICE.
254
00:08:54,426 --> 00:08:56,795
PHILOPOL...
PHIPHOPHOPHER...
OH, MY GOD.
255
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,566
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TALK,
YOU GRANDPA-STEALING SLUT?
256
00:08:58,568 --> 00:09:01,004
I'M FEELING...
257
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:02,507
[ RETCHES ]
258
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,178
UGH.
259
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,047
OH, MAN, LET ME HELP
ALL OF YOU GUYS UP.
260
00:09:06,049 --> 00:09:08,084
All: I'M FINE.
261
00:09:08,086 --> 00:09:11,926
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
262
00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:14,198
[ SNIFFS ] DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU, RICK?
263
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,168
YOU'RE THE ONLY SINGLE MIND
I'VE MET
264
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:18,004
THAT REALLY SEES
THE BIG PICTURE.
265
00:09:18,006 --> 00:09:19,208
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
266
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,010
BUT, BABY, LISTEN --
267
00:09:21,012 --> 00:09:23,316
Y-YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT TAKING
OVER PLANETS AND GALAXIES.
268
00:09:23,318 --> 00:09:24,952
YOU GOT TO --
GOT TO JUST REMEMBER
269
00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:26,288
TO LET GO SOMETIMES,
YOU KNOW?
270
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:27,424
I CAN LET GO.
HEY, LOOK.
271
00:09:27,426 --> 00:09:29,026
YOU SEE THAT TOWN
ACROSS THE RIVER?
272
00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:30,330
WATCH THIS.
273
00:09:30,898 --> 00:09:32,901
WHOA!
HA HA! WHOO!
274
00:09:32,903 --> 00:09:34,271
WHOA!
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!
275
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,942
[ Laughing ]
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
276
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,915
I EVACUATED.
I EVACUATED THE TOWN. LOOK.
277
00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:42,587
All: HEY! WE'RE RIGHT HERE.
WE'RE FINE.
278
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:46,662
[ LAUGHS ]
279
00:09:46,664 --> 00:09:50,270
OH, THAT WAS AWESOME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
280
00:09:50,272 --> 00:09:52,507
MY -- MY GRANDKIDS
WEREN'T IN THAT TOWN, RIGHT?
281
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,444
A-ARE MY GRANDKIDS ALIVE?
282
00:09:54,446 --> 00:09:56,582
M-MY DRINK IS EMPTY.
283
00:09:56,584 --> 00:10:00,456
[ ALL RETCHING ]
284
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,692
[ GROANS ]
285
00:10:01,694 --> 00:10:04,765
♪
286
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:16,355
UNITY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHO'S UNITY?
287
00:10:16,357 --> 00:10:19,194
YOU KIDS HAVE NICE FEET.
MIND IF I TAKE A PICTURE?
288
00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:21,665
GROSS. NO.
[ CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKS ]
289
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:24,137
Morty: I THINK YOU'RE GETTING
WHAT YOU WANTED, SUMMER.
290
00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:26,175
SOMETHING'S HAPPENING
TO UNITY.
291
00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:28,979
DO ALL OF YOU REMEMBER
WHO YOU ARE?
292
00:10:28,981 --> 00:10:31,318
YEAH, UH,
MY NAME IS RON BENSON.
293
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,358
I'M AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER,
FATHER OF TWO,
294
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:38,199
AND, AS YOU CAN SEE FROM MY
FLAT, CONCENTRIC NIPPLE RINGS,
295
00:10:38,201 --> 00:10:40,570
I'M A MEMBER OF
THIS PLANET'S TOP RACE!
296
00:10:40,572 --> 00:10:42,340
[ CHEERS ]
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
297
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:45,011
UH, DON'T FOCUS TOO MUCH
ON THE LAST PART, BUT --
298
00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:47,283
I'M DARYL JEFFERSON.
I'M A LANDSCAPER.
299
00:10:47,285 --> 00:10:48,686
AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF
300
00:10:48,688 --> 00:10:51,291
THAT RIPPLE-NIPPLE BITCH'S
RACE IS SUPERIOR!
301
00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:53,629
THE CONE-NIPPLE PEOPLE
WILL RULE THIS WORLD!
302
00:10:53,631 --> 00:10:56,135
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH,
YOU DIRTY KNIFE-NIPPLE BASTARDS.
303
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,337
WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME,
304
00:10:57,339 --> 00:10:59,241
YOU TARGET-CHEST
PIECE OF [BLEEP]
305
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,345
RACE WAR!
306
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,127
UGH!
307
00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:10,830
[ GRUNTING ]
308
00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:13,202
WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?!
309
00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:14,671
CAN'T YOU SEE
YOU'RE ALL THE SAME?
310
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,675
OH, SUMMER. [ LAUGHS ]
311
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,546
FIRST RACE WAR, HUH?
312
00:11:21,219 --> 00:11:23,189
[ ALL SHOUTING, SCREAMING ]
313
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:25,960
WAY TO GO, SUMMER.
YOU STARTED A RACE WAR.
314
00:11:25,962 --> 00:11:28,399
I DIDN'T START IT!
THEY'RE THE RACISTS.
315
00:11:28,401 --> 00:11:29,968
I -- I MERELY
EMPOWERED THEM
316
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:32,005
TO FOLLOW THEIR APPARENTLY
MISGUIDED DREAMS.
317
00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:33,375
OKAY,
THANKS FOR CLARIFYING.
318
00:11:33,377 --> 00:11:35,346
I'LL HAVE A SUPER-ACCURATE
HEADSTONE NOW.
319
00:11:35,348 --> 00:11:36,849
HEY, WAIT --
WHAT RACE ARE YOU GUYS?
320
00:11:36,851 --> 00:11:38,017
WE'RE NEITHER. S-SEE?
321
00:11:38,019 --> 00:11:39,488
YEAH,
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.
322
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,291
WE JUST HAVE
REGULAR NIPPLES.
323
00:11:41,293 --> 00:11:43,929
HEY, THESE TWO FREAKS
HAVE NO RACE!
324
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,166
♪
325
00:11:45,168 --> 00:11:48,405
[ ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
326
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,445
OH, THERE'S NO PLACE
LIKE HOME.
327
00:11:51,447 --> 00:11:53,315
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
REMEMBER, SUMMER?
328
00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:55,386
FROM DOROTHY
AND THE TINY PEOPLE MOVIE?
YES, YES.
329
00:11:55,388 --> 00:11:58,192
ALL THE TINY PEOPLE.
DOROTHY, TAKE US AWAY.
330
00:11:58,194 --> 00:12:01,265
♪
331
00:12:05,107 --> 00:12:07,176
HELLO, SUMMER.
HELLO, MORTY.
332
00:12:07,178 --> 00:12:09,948
IT'S OKAY.
YOU'RE SAFE NOW.
UNITY?
333
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:12,220
YES.
OH, UNITY,
I AM SO SORRY.
334
00:12:12,222 --> 00:12:15,960
I DIDN'T KNOW FREEDOM MEANT
PEOPLE DOING STUFF THAT SUCKS.
335
00:12:15,962 --> 00:12:17,263
I WAS THINKING MORE OF
336
00:12:17,265 --> 00:12:19,200
A CHOOSE YOUR OWN
CELLPHONE-CARRIER THING.
337
00:12:19,202 --> 00:12:20,870
OH, SUMMER,
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
338
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,340
I'M HAVING FUN
WITH YOUR GRANDPA.
339
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,842
LOST A LITTLE CONTROL.
340
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,114
PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE
PILOTING A HOVERCOPTER,
341
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,953
NOR SHOULD I BE RUNNING
200,000 PEDIATRIC HOSPITALS
342
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,323
AND 12 MILLION DEEP FRYERS,
343
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:31,892
BUT HEY,
IT'S NOT LIKE THIS PLANET
344
00:12:31,894 --> 00:12:33,228
CAN TAKE ITS BUSINESS
ELSEWHERE.
345
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,166
UM, SHOULD WE MAYBE
STOP SOMEWHERE
346
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,635
AND GET YOU A COFFEE?
347
00:12:36,637 --> 00:12:38,872
MAYBE SPLASH A LITTLE WATER
ON YOUR FACE, OR...
348
00:12:38,874 --> 00:12:40,576
NO, NO,
IF I WANTED TO BE SOBER,
349
00:12:40,578 --> 00:12:42,380
I WOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN DRUNK.
350
00:12:42,382 --> 00:12:45,386
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
351
00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:47,490
[ SCREECHES, GURGLES ]
352
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,227
OH, MAN.
I CANNOT WAIT --
353
00:12:49,229 --> 00:12:52,333
I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR RICK
EXPLAIN HIS WAY AROUND THIS.
354
00:12:52,335 --> 00:12:53,669
HE IS GONE.
355
00:12:53,671 --> 00:12:55,172
JERRY,
STOP, PLEASE, OKAY?
356
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,541
WE WEREN'T EVEN
SUPPOSED TO BE DOWN HERE.
357
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,044
IF WE CONFRONT HIM
ABOUT THIS --
358
00:12:58,046 --> 00:12:59,447
OH, MY GOD! I LOVE THIS.
359
00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:02,085
I LOVE THAT THIS IS
HOW FAR YOU WILL GO FOR HIM.
360
00:13:02,087 --> 00:13:04,290
YOU WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS
AND CUT CARROTS
361
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:06,128
AND WATCH
A LIFETIME ORIGINAL
362
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,499
ABOVE A [BLEEP]
ALIEN DUNGEON!
363
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:11,405
YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR FATHER
IS PSYCHOTIC.
364
00:13:11,407 --> 00:13:13,108
OH, LISTEN TO YOU
RELISH THE IDEA
365
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:15,011
THAT MY GENIUS FATHER
IS A BAD PERSON.
366
00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:16,515
STEP OUT OF YOUR EGO
FOR A SECOND
367
00:13:16,517 --> 00:13:18,485
AND LOOK AT THIS THING --
IT'S A MONSTER.
368
00:13:18,487 --> 00:13:20,021
HE MIGHT
HAVE IT CHAINED UP
369
00:13:20,023 --> 00:13:21,391
SO THAT IT DOESN'T
EAT THE PLANET!
370
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:23,662
RIGHT, BECAUSE YOUR FATHER'S
SUCH AN ALTRUIST?
371
00:13:23,664 --> 00:13:27,336
I ONCE SAW HIM BRIEFLY
FORGET THE WORD FOR "HUMANS."
372
00:13:27,338 --> 00:13:29,541
HE'S PROBABLY HARVESTING
THIS CREATURE'S ORGANS.
373
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,611
HE'S PROBABLY RACING
TO CURE ITS SPACE AIDS.
374
00:13:31,613 --> 00:13:33,148
HE'S GOING TO EAT IT!
HE'S PROTECTING IT!
375
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:34,016
[ SHRILLS ]
376
00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:35,386
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!
377
00:13:36,689 --> 00:13:39,194
[ HUMMING ] WHOA!
378
00:13:39,196 --> 00:13:40,696
UNITY,
THIS PLACE IS A MESS.
379
00:13:40,698 --> 00:13:42,133
OH, IT'S COOL.
380
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:43,168
THE PART OF ME
THAT'S THE CLEANING LADY
381
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,404
IS COMING ON FRIDAY.
382
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,274
[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD.
I HAVE A MEETING
383
00:13:46,276 --> 00:13:48,178
AT THE GALACTIC FEDERATION
IN AN HOUR.
384
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,280
OH, I'LL NEVER MAKE IT.
385
00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:50,683
AH, I'LL PUSH IT
TO NEXT WEEK.
386
00:13:50,685 --> 00:13:52,720
UNITY, COULD YOU GET RICK
OUT HERE, PLEASE?
387
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,390
HE'S UNAVAILABLE.
HE'S...
388
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:56,294
HAVING SEX WITH YOU.
WE GET IT. GROSS.
389
00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:57,430
GET HIM OUT HERE NOW.
390
00:13:57,432 --> 00:13:58,532
I DON'T THINK
HE WANTS TO BE --
391
00:13:58,534 --> 00:14:00,736
GRANDPA RICK!
RICK! RICK!
392
00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:02,507
I'M GONNA TELL MOM AND DAD
ABOUT THE GAGOO
393
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,144
YOU HAVE LOCKED UP
UNDER THE GARAGE!
394
00:14:04,146 --> 00:14:06,548
[ BELCHES ]
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?
395
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,619
GRANDPA,
WE NEED TO GO HOME, NOW.
396
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:10,489
FINE. SHEESH.
397
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:11,825
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
398
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,228
[ BEEPS ]
399
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,564
SEE YOU.
400
00:14:14,566 --> 00:14:16,401
UH, RICK,
I THINK WE SHOULD ALL GO.
401
00:14:16,403 --> 00:14:18,672
TEND TO YOUR GARDEN, KIDS.
I'M KIND OF DOING A THING HERE.
402
00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:20,843
[ LAUGHS ]
WHOO!
403
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,747
GRANDPA RICK,
WE'RE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOU.
404
00:14:22,749 --> 00:14:24,751
OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS.
I GET IT.
405
00:14:24,753 --> 00:14:27,156
YOU'RE AFRAID
THE BIG, BAD HIVE MIND
406
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,260
IS GONNA STEAL
YOUR GRANDPA AWAY.
407
00:14:29,262 --> 00:14:30,729
ACTUALLY, NO.
I THINK UNITY'S GREAT
408
00:14:30,731 --> 00:14:32,500
AND YOU'RE
A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE ON IT.
409
00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:34,370
WHAT?
THIS ISN'T HEALTHY,
RICK.
410
00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:36,775
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE --
YOU'RE REALLY UP TO NO GOOD
411
00:14:36,777 --> 00:14:38,846
AROUND HERE A-AT THIS PLACE,
YOU KNOW?
412
00:14:38,848 --> 00:14:40,316
YOU AND UNITY ARE LIKE --
413
00:14:40,318 --> 00:14:41,852
LIKE LEGGINGS
AND MID-CALF BOOTS.
414
00:14:41,854 --> 00:14:43,555
YOU THINK
YOU'RE GREAT TOGETHER,
415
00:14:43,557 --> 00:14:46,127
BUT YOU'RE JUST BRINGING OUT
THE WORST IN EACH OTHER.
416
00:14:46,129 --> 00:14:48,565
OH, GEE.
BOY, SUMMER. WELL PUT.
417
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,436
UH, WHY DON'T WE SEE
WHAT UNITY THINKS?
418
00:14:50,438 --> 00:14:51,805
UNITY?
419
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,575
I'M JUST TAKING
A LITTLE BREAK FROM STUFF.
420
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:55,613
YOU KNOW?
I NEED TO RELAX.
421
00:14:55,615 --> 00:14:57,750
OH, HEY, W-WHAT'S THIS
ON THE NEWS, GUYS?
422
00:14:57,752 --> 00:14:59,153
L-L-LET ME TURN IT UP.
423
00:14:59,155 --> 00:15:00,456
IN THE NEWS TODAY,
424
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,260
THIS LOOKS
A LOT WORSE THAN IT IS.
425
00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:03,762
WE'RE REALLY JUST
HAVING A GOOD TIME.
426
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,399
KAREN?
THANKS, TODD.
427
00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:07,303
UP NEXT, ARE YOU
A CONCERNED GRANDCHILD
428
00:15:07,305 --> 00:15:08,772
OR JUST A BUZZKILL?
429
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,709
WE'LL TELL YOU
HOW YOU CAN KNOW FOR SURE.
430
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,713
I THINK YOU TWO
ARE A LITTLE OUTNUMBERED.
431
00:15:12,715 --> 00:15:14,851
OKAY, WELL, WHAT IF
YOU DID IT FOR ME?
432
00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:17,323
WHAT IF YOU CAME WITH US
AS A FAVOR TO US
433
00:15:17,325 --> 00:15:18,825
BECAUSE YOU LOVE US?
434
00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:20,596
WHAT? DUMB. BYE.
435
00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:22,199
BUT RICK, SUMMER'S JUST --
436
00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:23,835
SUMMER'S JUST A HYPER-EMOTIONAL,
NEEDY LITTLE --
437
00:15:23,837 --> 00:15:25,372
WHAT'S THE WORD
I'M LOOKING FOR HERE?
438
00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:26,775
UH...HUMAN.
439
00:15:26,777 --> 00:15:27,843
IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
440
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,213
I CAN TOLERATE IT,
441
00:15:29,215 --> 00:15:30,482
BUT I CAN'T
GIVE A CRAP ABOUT IT.
442
00:15:30,484 --> 00:15:31,918
TAKE A HIKE.
443
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,924
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
UNITY.
444
00:15:37,965 --> 00:15:40,502
I'M NOT LOOKING FOR JUDGMENT,
JUST A YES OR NO --
445
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,606
CAN YOU ASSIMILATE
A GIRAFFE?
446
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,677
YOU'RE THE WORST!
NO, YOU'RE THE WORST!
YOU DON'T SUPPORT THIS FAMILY!
447
00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:46,715
ALL YOU CARE ABOUT
IS YOURSELF!
YOU THINK SUPPORTING
THE FAMILY
448
00:15:46,717 --> 00:15:48,719
IS ABOUT
SUPPORTING YOU EMOTIONALLY...
YOU'VE GOT TWO CHILDREN...
449
00:15:48,721 --> 00:15:50,889
...BUT YOU'RE UNSUPPORTABLE.
...BEING DRAGGED
ACROSS THE COSMOS...
450
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:53,295
...BECAUSE IT'S NEVER ENOUGH,
JERRY!
...BY YOUR
DANGEROUSLY ILL FATHER!
451
00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:55,632
AND YOU FORCE ME TO WATCH IT
HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU'D RATHER
LOSE THEM AND LOSE ME...
452
00:15:55,634 --> 00:15:57,937
AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE
AFRAID OF LOSING ANYTHING
...THAN LOSE HIM!
453
00:15:57,939 --> 00:16:00,476
BECAUSE YOU CLING
AND YOU CLING.
AND WHY? BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE CHILD, BETH!
454
00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:03,548
YOU, NOT ME! YOU!
[ SCREECHES ]
455
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:04,951
AAH!
AAH!
456
00:16:04,953 --> 00:16:06,588
OH, MY GOD.
AAH!
457
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,057
[ BOTH SIGH ]
458
00:16:10,062 --> 00:16:11,931
[ BOTH GASP ]
459
00:16:11,933 --> 00:16:14,370
UM, FIRST OF ALL, HELLO.
460
00:16:14,372 --> 00:16:16,541
UH, MY NAME IS
BLIM BLAM THE KORBLOK.
461
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,412
SECOND OF ALL,
CARDS ON THE TABLE,
462
00:16:18,414 --> 00:16:19,981
I'M A MURDERER
THAT EATS BABIES,
463
00:16:19,983 --> 00:16:22,620
AND I CAME TO THIS PLANET
TO EAT BABIES.
464
00:16:22,622 --> 00:16:26,694
HOWEVER, I AM ALSO CARRYING
A HIGHLY INFECTIOUS DISEASE
465
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:30,869
THAT I SUPPOSE YOU COULD CALL
"SPACE AIDS" AS YOU PUT IT.
466
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,106
AND RICK DID CHAIN ME UP
467
00:16:32,108 --> 00:16:34,110
SO THAT HE COULD ATTEMPT
TO CURE IT.
468
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,414
AT THE SAME TIME,
469
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:38,418
RICK'S MOTIVATION
TO CURE MY DISEASE
470
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,589
WAS NOT TO SAVE MY LIFE
OR ANYONE ELSE'S,
471
00:16:40,591 --> 00:16:43,662
BUT TO PATENT AND SELL THE CURE
FOR BILLIONS OF BLEMFLARCKS.
472
00:16:43,664 --> 00:16:45,399
BUT YOU KNOW
THE REASON WHY
473
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:47,436
I RIPPED MY CHAINS
OUT OF THE WALL?
474
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:50,109
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M NEVER
COMING BACK TO THIS PLANET?
475
00:16:50,111 --> 00:16:54,082
BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU
ARE THE [BLEEP] WORST!
476
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:56,788
YOU BOTH HATE YOURSELVES
AND EACH OTHER.
477
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:59,093
AND THE IDEA THAT IT HAS
ANYTHING TO DO WITH RICK
478
00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:00,762
IS LAUGHABLE.
479
00:17:00,764 --> 00:17:02,900
I'D LAUGH,
BUT I'M BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE.
480
00:17:02,902 --> 00:17:04,737
THAT'S HOW ALIEN I AM.
481
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:07,176
AND EVEN I'M SITTING HERE
LISTENING TO THE TWO OF YOU
482
00:17:07,178 --> 00:17:10,115
AND BEING LIKE,
"WHAT THE [BLEEP]"
483
00:17:10,117 --> 00:17:12,520
SO GOOD LUCK
WITH YOUR SHITTY MARRIAGE,
484
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:15,659
AND TELL RICK I'M SORRY HE HAS
TO DEAL WITH EITHER OF YOU.
485
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,897
BLIM BLAM OUT.
486
00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:22,773
[ GURGLES ]
487
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,245
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M TAKING THIS.
488
00:17:29,154 --> 00:17:31,691
HOW DO YOU --
WHAT IS THIS?
489
00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:36,968
UH, IS THERE
A SLOW SETTING?
490
00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:39,974
BEST DOOR EVER.
491
00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:47,523
Rick:
[ BELCHES, SIGHS, COUGHS ]
492
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,696
OKAY, OKAY. NOW MAKE THEM CRY,
BUT HAPPY CRYING.
493
00:17:50,698 --> 00:17:52,800
NOW MAKE THEM ALL
MAKE FUN OF THE BLONDE ONE.
494
00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:54,270
NOW MAKE THEM ALL
DO IT ON THE TABLE.
495
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:56,708
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CREATED
A WHOLE SHOW FOR ME.
496
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,144
NOW CANCEL IT.
497
00:17:58,146 --> 00:17:59,280
OKAY, NOW PUT IT BACK ON.
498
00:17:59,282 --> 00:18:00,616
[ LAUGHS ]
499
00:18:00,618 --> 00:18:01,884
ALL RIGHT, I'M BORED.
500
00:18:01,886 --> 00:18:03,588
RICK,
IS THERE A WAY FOR YOU
501
00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:04,991
TO CALL SUMMER AND MORTY?
502
00:18:04,993 --> 00:18:07,630
I FEEL BAD THAT THEY --
Pbht. SCREW THOSE GUYS.
503
00:18:07,632 --> 00:18:09,934
UGH. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
504
00:18:09,936 --> 00:18:12,071
DON'T WASTE YOUR BRAIN
ON THOSE WEIRDOS, UNITY.
505
00:18:12,073 --> 00:18:14,577
THEY'RE NO DIFFERENT
FROM ANY OF THE AIMLESS
CHUMPS THAT YOU OCCUPY.
506
00:18:14,579 --> 00:18:17,216
THEY JUST PUT YOU AT
THE CENTER OF THEIR LIVES
BECAUSE YOU'RE POWERFUL.
507
00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:18,852
AND THEN BECAUSE
THEY PUT YOU THERE,
508
00:18:18,854 --> 00:18:20,188
THEY WANT YOU
TO BE LESS POWERFUL.
509
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:21,291
NEVER GONNA HAPPEN THOUGH,
RIGHT?
510
00:18:21,293 --> 00:18:22,660
All: NEVER.
511
00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:24,730
NEVER.
BACK IN A FLASH.
512
00:18:24,732 --> 00:18:26,134
[ DOOR WHOOSHES ]
513
00:18:26,136 --> 00:18:29,740
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
514
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,811
BEST WEEKEND EVER, RICK.
515
00:18:31,813 --> 00:18:35,051
I AGREE, RICK.
LET'S SEE HOW LONG WE CAN GO.
516
00:18:35,053 --> 00:18:37,956
HEY, UNE.
YOU GOT ANY MORE --
517
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:43,000
Female President: RICK, FORGIVE
ME FOR DOING THIS IN NOTES.
518
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,272
I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH
TO DO IT IN PERSONS.
519
00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:48,278
Delivery Guy: I REALIZE NOW
THAT I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU
520
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,816
FOR THE SAME REASON
I CAN'T BE WITH YOU.
521
00:18:50,818 --> 00:18:52,286
YOU CAN'T CHANGE.
522
00:18:52,288 --> 00:18:54,790
Beggar: AND I HAVE
NO PROBLEM WITH THAT,
523
00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:57,730
BUT IT CLEARLY MEANS
I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MYSELF.
524
00:18:57,732 --> 00:18:59,967
Newspaper Vendor:
I'M SURE THERE'S NO PERFECT
VERSION OF ME.
525
00:18:59,969 --> 00:19:02,906
I'M SURE I'LL JUST UNIFY
SPECIES AFTER SPECIES
526
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,744
AND NEVER REALLY BE COMPLETE.
527
00:19:04,746 --> 00:19:07,383
Female President:
BUT I KNOW HOW IT GOES WITH US.
528
00:19:07,385 --> 00:19:09,854
I LOSE WHO I AM
AND BECOME PART OF YOU.
529
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,424
BECAUSE IN A STRANGE WAY,
530
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:13,995
YOU'RE BETTER AT WHAT I DO
WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.
531
00:19:13,997 --> 00:19:19,440
YOURS, AND NOBODY ELSE'S,
UNITY.
532
00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:22,312
P.S., I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THOSE COAL MINERS WERE
533
00:19:22,314 --> 00:19:23,748
BEFORE THEY WERE ASSIMILATED.
534
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,152
YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET CHECKED.
535
00:19:25,154 --> 00:19:26,187
Man: [ BELCHES ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
536
00:19:26,189 --> 00:19:28,291
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
537
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,429
HEY.
538
00:19:30,431 --> 00:19:31,864
DAD.
539
00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:36,707
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
I, UM -- JERRY AND I
540
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,180
WERE LOOKING FOR
OUR WEED WHACKER
541
00:19:39,182 --> 00:19:41,951
AND FOUND
YOUR SUBTERRANEAN LAIR
542
00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:44,323
AND YOUR ALIEN PRISONER,
543
00:19:44,325 --> 00:19:46,294
AND HE GOT AWAY.
544
00:19:46,296 --> 00:19:47,963
AND I KNOW
I SOUND LIKE MOM,
545
00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:49,800
BUT I CAN'T SACRIFICE
THIS WHOLE FAMILY'S SAFETY
546
00:19:49,802 --> 00:19:51,504
JUST BECAUSE I'M AFRAID
YOU'LL LEAVE AGAIN,
547
00:19:51,506 --> 00:19:53,441
SO NO MORE ALIEN PRISONERS
548
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,214
AND NO MORE
SUBTERRANEAN EXCAVATION
549
00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:57,950
WITHOUT CONSULTING US.
550
00:19:57,952 --> 00:20:00,087
OKAY.
OKAY?
551
00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:03,094
"OKAY" -- LIKE YOU'RE GONNA
QUIETLY TELEPORT SOMEWHERE
552
00:20:03,096 --> 00:20:05,432
AND NEVER COME BACK?
NO. IT'S YOUR HOUSE.
553
00:20:05,434 --> 00:20:08,872
GRANDPA RICK,
WHAT HAPPENED WITH UNITY?
554
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,377
WHO? OH, UNITY.
YEAH, WELL...
555
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:13,214
I MEAN, HONESTLY,
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT AN ENTITY
556
00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:14,817
THAT THRIVES ON ENSLAVEMENT,
YOU KNOW?
557
00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:16,954
IT'S NOT COOL. FUN'S FUN,
BUT WHO NEEDS IT?
558
00:20:16,956 --> 00:20:18,258
I'LL BE IN THE GARAGE.
559
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,962
[ CHAOS CHAOS'S
"DO YOU FEEL IT?" PLAYS ]
560
00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:33,521
♪ LAY IT, LAY IT DOWN
561
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,458
♪ LET ME SEE YOUR HAND
562
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:38,131
♪ SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
563
00:20:38,866 --> 00:20:40,468
♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING
564
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,239
♪ BUT YOU'RE NOT PLAYING
565
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,044
♪ IT DOESN'T MATCH YOUR FACE
566
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:49,386
♪ GET THEM AWAY,
AWAY FROM THIS PLACE ♪
567
00:20:49,388 --> 00:20:52,859
♪ CAN YOU TAKE ME NOW?
568
00:20:52,861 --> 00:20:54,563
♪ I, I WANT IT
569
00:20:54,565 --> 00:20:56,167
♪ I WANT IT REAL
570
00:20:56,169 --> 00:20:58,571
♪ ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME NOW?
571
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:01,177
♪
[ MACHINE WHIRRING ]
572
00:21:01,179 --> 00:21:04,082
♪ ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME NOW?
573
00:21:04,084 --> 00:21:05,919
♪ DO YOU FEEL IT?
574
00:21:05,921 --> 00:21:07,356
♪ DO YOU FEEL IT?
575
00:21:07,358 --> 00:21:11,163
♪ DO YOU FEEL
THAT I CAN SEE YOUR SOUL? ♪
576
00:21:11,165 --> 00:21:12,933
♪ DO YOU FEEL IT?
577
00:21:12,935 --> 00:21:14,536
♪ DO YOU FEEL IT?
578
00:21:14,538 --> 00:21:17,109
♪ DO YOU FEEL THE PAIN
IN YOUR HEART? ♪
579
00:21:17,111 --> 00:21:18,911
♪ I, I WANT IT
580
00:21:18,913 --> 00:21:20,315
♪ I WANT IT REAL
581
00:21:20,317 --> 00:21:23,053
♪ RUN AWAY WITH ME NOW
582
00:21:24,124 --> 00:21:25,458
♪ I, I WANT IT
583
00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:27,663
♪ I WANT IT REAL
584
00:21:27,665 --> 00:21:29,667
♪ RUN AWAY WITH ME NOW
585
00:21:29,669 --> 00:21:32,139
♪ AH, AH
586
00:21:33,475 --> 00:21:36,547
♪
587
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:46,734
♪ DON'T LEAVE ME
588
00:21:48,205 --> 00:21:51,477
♪ NEVER LEAVE ME OUT
589
00:21:51,479 --> 00:21:53,748
♪ DON'T LEAVE ME
590
00:21:54,984 --> 00:21:59,693
♪ NEVER LEAVE ME OUT
591
00:22:04,504 --> 00:22:07,209
Rick: UNITY! UNITY!
592
00:22:07,211 --> 00:22:09,613
UNITY!
593
00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:12,452
How can I assist you?
I WANT TO TALK TO [BELCHES]
UNITY, BETA SEVEN.
594
00:22:12,454 --> 00:22:13,688
I KNOW IT'S IN THERE.
595
00:22:13,690 --> 00:22:15,458
You're classified
as a hostile entity,
596
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,195
and Unity
doesn't want to talk to you.
597
00:22:17,197 --> 00:22:18,498
I KNOW YOUR GAME,
BETA SEVEN.
598
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:20,168
I'VE MET A BILLION OF YOU,
599
00:22:20,170 --> 00:22:21,804
YOU LITTLE ON-DECK,
IN-THE-WINGS SHOULDER TO CRY ON!
600
00:22:21,806 --> 00:22:25,145
You are classified
as a hostile entity.
601
00:22:25,147 --> 00:22:26,580
OH, YOU'RE JUST LOVING THIS,
MOTHER--
602
00:22:26,582 --> 00:22:28,451
THIS ISN'T GONNA
SHAKE OUT LIKE YOU THINK, PAL.
603
00:22:28,453 --> 00:22:29,787
UNITY'S NOT INTO OTHER
HIVE MINDS.
604
00:22:29,789 --> 00:22:31,457
IT'S GONNA SUCK YOU IN
AND USE YOU UP,
605
00:22:31,459 --> 00:22:32,726
AND A MONTH FROM NOW,
606
00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:33,828
I'M GONNA BE MAKING OUT
WITH ALL OF YOU
607
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:34,763
IN A BUNCH OF RED WIGS!
608
00:22:34,765 --> 00:22:37,369
UNITY! UNITY!
609
00:22:37,371 --> 00:22:39,573
UNITY, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME.
GET OUT HERE.
610
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:41,075
Weapons systems engaged.
611
00:22:41,077 --> 00:22:42,646
OH, IN YOUR DREAMS
YOU HAVE WEAPON SYSTEMS.
612
00:22:42,648 --> 00:22:45,285
UGH, RICK, YOU SAID
WE WERE GOING TO A MOVIE.
613
00:22:45,287 --> 00:22:46,287
WE ARE, MORTY.
614
00:22:46,289 --> 00:22:47,856
ALL RIGHT, BETA SHIT SEVEN,
615
00:22:47,858 --> 00:22:50,094
YOU JUST GOT
SAVED BY THE BELL, BITCH!
616
00:22:50,096 --> 00:22:51,497
[ SCREAMING ]
617
00:22:51,499 --> 00:22:53,100
Man:
DID YOU GET ANY OF THAT?
618
00:22:53,102 --> 00:22:54,503
Man: IT'S-A GOOD SHOW-A.