1 00:00:04,758 --> 00:00:08,498 Steve, I just got a weird e-mail. Did you buy us airline tickets? 2 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,436 Aw, shoot. It was supposed to be a surprise. 3 00:00:10,438 --> 00:00:13,509 I wanted to thank you for letting me live here all this time, 4 00:00:13,511 --> 00:00:15,346 so I'm treating the family to a vacation! 5 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,649 Steve, you're so sweet. 6 00:00:16,651 --> 00:00:18,586 - Thanks, uncle Steve! - Best uncle ever! 7 00:00:18,588 --> 00:00:19,855 Look out, world. 8 00:00:19,857 --> 00:00:21,559 The Smith family is going to Paris! 9 00:00:21,561 --> 00:00:23,028 Yeah! Awesome! 10 00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:26,233 Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash! 11 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:29,708 Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, 12 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,779 but life is made of little concessions. 13 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,915 I-- You know what? 14 00:00:32,917 --> 00:00:34,618 You're gonna land on your feet, Jer. 15 00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,556 Some company out there's gonna thank their lucky stars 16 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,225 they hired my little brother. 17 00:00:38,227 --> 00:00:40,764 - Who the [bleep] are you? - My goofy brother, Steve. 18 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:43,235 He's been living here almost a year now. 19 00:00:43,237 --> 00:00:44,471 Are you losing your mind? 20 00:00:44,473 --> 00:00:47,811 Hey, someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks. 21 00:00:47,813 --> 00:00:49,380 Am I right? 22 00:00:50,586 --> 00:00:52,420 - Oh, my god! - Call an ambulance! 23 00:00:52,422 --> 00:00:54,758 - Oh, god! Steve! - What the hell, Rick?! 24 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,261 Will everybody just relax for a second? 25 00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:57,764 There's no such thing as an "uncle Steve". 26 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,269 That is an alien parasite. 27 00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:03,943 - But I've known him my whole life. - No, you haven't, Jerry. 28 00:01:03,945 --> 00:01:07,083 These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories, 29 00:01:07,085 --> 00:01:10,624 and then they use those to multiply and spread out, take over planets. 30 00:01:10,626 --> 00:01:11,993 It's-- It's disgusting. 31 00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:14,390 - Steve wasn't real? - He's a real piece of shit. 32 00:01:14,415 --> 00:01:15,213 This is a big one. 33 00:01:15,238 --> 00:01:16,874 Somebody probably tracked it in last week 34 00:01:16,899 --> 00:01:18,873 on the bottom of their shoe on a piece of alien fruit. 35 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,744 - Someone? - Get off the high road, Summer. 36 00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:23,716 We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet. 37 00:01:23,718 --> 00:01:25,820 But uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike! 38 00:01:25,822 --> 00:01:27,490 No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain 39 00:01:27,492 --> 00:01:30,129 so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply. 40 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,966 We could be infested with these things. 41 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:33,836 So we got to keep an eye out 42 00:01:33,838 --> 00:01:35,974 for any zany, wacky characters that pop up. 43 00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:37,076 Ooh, whee! 44 00:01:37,078 --> 00:01:38,813 Whatever you want, Rick! We're here to help! 45 00:01:38,815 --> 00:01:43,088 Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you. 46 00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:46,996 ♪ 47 00:02:08,454 --> 00:02:14,460 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 48 00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:17,156 ♪ 49 00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:19,828 All right. There's six of us, and that's it. 50 00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:22,768 Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer. 51 00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:25,105 Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick! 52 00:02:25,107 --> 00:02:27,577 Can't afford to chance it. 53 00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:35,025 Dad, why does our house have blast shields? 54 00:02:35,027 --> 00:02:36,629 Trust me, Beth, you don't want to know 55 00:02:36,631 --> 00:02:37,964 how many answers that question has. 56 00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:39,868 Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic! 57 00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:43,342 Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together. 58 00:02:43,344 --> 00:02:47,516 Y-- remember that? After "The Hulk" musical? 59 00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:53,663 Jerry, buttons don't work better if you hit them harder, 60 00:02:53,665 --> 00:02:55,399 and foam fists don't make you strong. 61 00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,470 I know. Friends make you strong. 62 00:02:57,472 --> 00:02:59,641 I watched the same musical you did. 63 00:02:59,643 --> 00:03:01,579 Why couldn't I bring my portal gun? 64 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,551 Why did all the drinks have to be extra large? 65 00:03:04,553 --> 00:03:06,087 Oh, the hulk. I just got that. 66 00:03:06,089 --> 00:03:08,860 Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck. 67 00:03:08,862 --> 00:03:10,730 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me. 68 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,435 At least when I'm disgusting, it's on purpose. 69 00:03:13,437 --> 00:03:15,205 Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine. 70 00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:18,613 I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be. 71 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,952 Somebody call for repairs? 72 00:03:21,954 --> 00:03:23,422 Yay! Cousin Nicky! 73 00:03:23,424 --> 00:03:24,725 It's me, cousin Nicky. 74 00:03:24,727 --> 00:03:26,695 I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not. 75 00:03:26,697 --> 00:03:31,371 I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here! 76 00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:34,143 It's true. 77 00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:36,615 We really do get into some crazy situations as a family, 78 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,886 mostly when we're cooped up like this. 79 00:03:38,888 --> 00:03:40,957 Hey, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right. 80 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,259 Let's get some fresh air. 81 00:03:42,261 --> 00:03:43,796 Come on, cousin Nicky. You heard Rick. 82 00:03:43,798 --> 00:03:45,265 We have to stay quarantined 83 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,303 until we know that there's no more of these things. 84 00:03:47,305 --> 00:03:48,405 I hear you, Morty. 85 00:03:48,407 --> 00:03:50,142 Back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin'-- 86 00:03:50,144 --> 00:03:52,346 "We're walkin' here!" 87 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:53,683 Nicky, get-- 88 00:03:53,685 --> 00:03:54,918 Oh! 89 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,689 What the...? 90 00:03:56,691 --> 00:03:58,458 Cousin Nicky was a parasite?! 91 00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:00,429 Six, Morty! There's supposed to be six of us! 92 00:04:00,431 --> 00:04:02,801 If there's seven, then that means somebody's not real. 93 00:04:02,803 --> 00:04:04,203 But how did you know it was Nicky? 94 00:04:04,205 --> 00:04:06,007 I guessed. That's why I aimed for his shoulder. 95 00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:07,944 So we can't trust any of our memories now? 96 00:04:07,946 --> 00:04:10,349 Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine. 97 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,552 Did that not even happen? 98 00:04:11,554 --> 00:04:13,488 Well, of course it happened. 99 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:16,862 Now that I possess the mighty staff of rah-gubaba, 100 00:04:16,864 --> 00:04:19,902 the world will tremble before the Fourth Reich! 101 00:04:19,904 --> 00:04:23,508 This is the last time I ask you for help on my history final, Rick. 102 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:26,214 Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal. 103 00:04:26,216 --> 00:04:28,184 I'm comfortable being called a Nazi. 104 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:31,224 You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings? 105 00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,863 Yeah. Think before you talk shit. 106 00:04:33,865 --> 00:04:36,902 Rah-gubaba, help me kill America! 107 00:04:36,904 --> 00:04:39,040 Mr. Beauregard! 108 00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:43,716 After due consideration, I have elected not to retire. 109 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,352 Yeah! Oh, thank god! 110 00:04:45,354 --> 00:04:48,859 Now, I believe someone has a final exam to attend. 111 00:04:48,861 --> 00:04:51,364 Set a course for Morty's high school. 112 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:54,036 Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened, 113 00:04:54,038 --> 00:04:56,207 then I wouldn't still be the family butler. 114 00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:57,777 Dare to dream. 115 00:04:57,779 --> 00:04:59,380 Wait. 116 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,284 And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler, 117 00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:04,925 it's safe to say the family'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. 118 00:05:04,927 --> 00:05:06,929 No! Don't flashback! 119 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,633 You're just gonna make more swelling. 120 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:10,002 - Just relax. - Don't worry, Jerry. 121 00:05:10,004 --> 00:05:11,037 We called the fire department. 122 00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:13,008 You know they won't come here anymore. 123 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:16,949 Marmalade is served! 124 00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,619 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 125 00:05:18,621 --> 00:05:20,088 Oh, whee! 126 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,927 I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine. 127 00:05:24,132 --> 00:05:26,467 Take that, Summer! 128 00:05:26,469 --> 00:05:27,937 We're trying to sleep. 129 00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:29,808 I don't want to go to the dance alone. 130 00:05:29,810 --> 00:05:33,215 Then perhaps you shouldn't. 131 00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:35,419 Aww. Mr. Beauregard. 132 00:05:35,521 --> 00:05:38,893 - Shall we, master Morty? - We shall. 133 00:05:38,895 --> 00:05:40,963 Oh, wait, don't leave without letting 134 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,667 photography Raptor take a picture. 135 00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:48,311 Everybody stop remembering! 136 00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:50,015 These parasites are like bed bugs, 137 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,186 and every flashback is another mattress. Look! 138 00:05:52,188 --> 00:05:54,758 There's only supposed to be six people in this house. 139 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,227 But there's always been 10. 140 00:05:56,229 --> 00:05:57,396 No! 141 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,866 Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down 142 00:05:58,868 --> 00:06:00,035 means that there's four parasites. 143 00:06:00,037 --> 00:06:01,337 You sure about that, Rick? 144 00:06:01,339 --> 00:06:03,007 Begging your pardon, master Rick, 145 00:06:03,009 --> 00:06:05,045 but I seem to recall a great deal of confusion 146 00:06:05,047 --> 00:06:06,247 surrounding that number. 147 00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:07,516 All right, there's six of us. 148 00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:08,919 And that's it. 149 00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:11,424 Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, 150 00:06:11,426 --> 00:06:13,929 Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, photography Raptor, 151 00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:15,365 Mr. Beauregard, and Summer. 152 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,236 Uh, dad, that's like 10 people. 153 00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:19,206 6, 10, what's the difference? 154 00:06:19,208 --> 00:06:21,745 I just love the number 6 for no reason! 155 00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,047 Where's my pencil at? 156 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,220 - Here, Rick! Use me! - Oh, thanks, Pencilvester! 157 00:06:26,222 --> 00:06:28,324 Yeah, I guess that is what happened, 158 00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:30,262 but I don't get why I would do that. 159 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,065 Everybody makes mistakes, Rick. 160 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,003 Why do you think I have one of these? 161 00:06:36,109 --> 00:06:37,644 That's it. Photos. 162 00:06:37,646 --> 00:06:38,913 Hard evidence. 163 00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:41,685 You're not in any of my photos, Mr. Poopybutthole. 164 00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:43,689 Well, what do you know about this? 165 00:06:43,691 --> 00:06:46,194 You're not in any of mine. 166 00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:50,135 All I have are pictures of me and my friends from school. 167 00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:52,974 What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family? 168 00:06:52,976 --> 00:06:54,644 It's not like we're mormon or dying. 169 00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:57,817 I will admit it's suspicious that Summer's only friend 170 00:06:57,819 --> 00:07:00,857 is a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen. 171 00:07:00,859 --> 00:07:02,492 Summer! 172 00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:03,996 Tinkles! 173 00:07:03,998 --> 00:07:06,167 It's past my bedtime. 174 00:07:06,169 --> 00:07:08,238 Not in never past bedtime land! 175 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,175 Here we go! 176 00:07:10,177 --> 00:07:13,248 ♪ Summer and Tinkles friends with each other ♪ 177 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:16,354 ♪ Living in never past bedtime land ♪ 178 00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:19,861 ♪ No kitchen sinkles no little brother ♪ 179 00:07:19,863 --> 00:07:22,867 ♪ Going to raves and waving our hands ♪ 180 00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:24,704 ♪ Summer and tinkle, friends to the end ♪ 181 00:07:24,706 --> 00:07:26,541 ♪ Group text the whole crew, my mother... friends! ♪ 182 00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:28,444 ♪ Ketchup to the salt, salt to the fry ♪ 183 00:07:28,446 --> 00:07:29,948 ♪ "T" to the "inkle" with a capital "I" ♪ 184 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:33,155 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 185 00:07:33,858 --> 00:07:35,960 - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! - Summer, we're trying to sleep. 186 00:07:35,962 --> 00:07:37,730 It was Tinkles! 187 00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:38,766 Tinkles? 188 00:07:38,768 --> 00:07:40,402 That is su-- Suspicious. 189 00:07:40,404 --> 00:07:42,372 We're always hearing about this Tinkles character, 190 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,076 - but we never get to-- - Hi, everybody. 191 00:07:44,078 --> 00:07:46,247 I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends. 192 00:07:47,418 --> 00:07:49,086 See, everyone? Tinkles is real. 193 00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:50,422 That means so am I. 194 00:07:50,424 --> 00:07:52,593 - Sorry, Summer. - Man, I'm sorry, Summer. 195 00:07:52,595 --> 00:07:55,332 I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one. 196 00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:58,104 Okay, look, we shouldn't need evidence or logic 197 00:07:58,106 --> 00:08:00,241 to know who's family and who isn't. 198 00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:01,778 I know who the Smiths are. 199 00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,016 I've known Beth since high school. 200 00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:08,124 And her husband, Sleepy Gary, is hands down my absolute best friend. 201 00:08:08,126 --> 00:08:09,360 Thanks, Jerry. 202 00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:12,633 Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off. 203 00:08:12,635 --> 00:08:14,971 Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long. 204 00:08:14,973 --> 00:08:16,842 I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird girl. 205 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,044 Aah! 206 00:08:18,046 --> 00:08:20,115 - Grandpa Rick! - Hold still, "Summer". 207 00:08:20,117 --> 00:08:22,352 Rick, that is my daughter. 208 00:08:22,354 --> 00:08:24,824 Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, Sleepy Gary? 209 00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:27,329 I've known you for 15 years. Don't make me hurt you. 210 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:29,634 Rick, these are our family and friends, 211 00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:31,504 the people we barbecue with. 212 00:08:31,506 --> 00:08:33,508 Have you forgotten the barbecue? 213 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,811 Wait, why would you want me to-- 214 00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:36,247 You're one of them, aren't you? 215 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,253 Rick. You love those barbecues, Rick. 216 00:08:39,255 --> 00:08:40,823 You love them. Hai! 217 00:08:40,825 --> 00:08:41,858 Remember it, Rick? 218 00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:44,430 Shut up, Hamurai! Shut up, Amish Cyborg! 219 00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:46,200 What is this? '90s Conan? 220 00:08:46,202 --> 00:08:48,171 Remember the barbecue. 221 00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:49,506 Remember the barbecue. 222 00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:51,043 Remember the barbecue. 223 00:08:51,045 --> 00:08:53,414 You know what, Pencilvester? 224 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:55,553 It took me my whole life to realize it, 225 00:08:55,555 --> 00:08:57,022 but I love barbecuing. 226 00:08:57,024 --> 00:08:58,859 - You're good at it, Rick. - Watch me, baby. 227 00:08:58,861 --> 00:09:00,896 I'm like Tom Cruise from, um, "Cuisine" 228 00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:03,702 or w-whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks. 229 00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:04,938 Yeah, check me out. 230 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,908 I'm like Tom Cruise from "Cuisine". 231 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:07,910 Yeah. 232 00:09:07,912 --> 00:09:09,614 Is that what it's called? "Cuisine"? 233 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,983 Wow! Hey, everybody. 234 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,454 Let's give it up for the grillmaster Rick! 235 00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:14,657 Rick! Rick! Rick! 236 00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,135 Wait. 237 00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:24,276 Noooooo! 238 00:09:24,278 --> 00:09:25,478 Shoot. Now look. 239 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,917 It's like a "Where's Waldo?" page. Can you find me? 240 00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:29,453 Check out all these zany characters. 241 00:09:29,455 --> 00:09:31,758 We'll be right back after these messages. 242 00:09:33,229 --> 00:09:34,765 I think you should put down the gun 243 00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,101 and we should get you to a doctor. 244 00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:37,971 What do you say we take down these blast shields? 245 00:09:37,973 --> 00:09:39,742 - Yeah. - I can't do that, Sleepy Gary. 246 00:09:39,744 --> 00:09:41,044 All right, everybody listen to me. 247 00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:42,748 I don't know if any of you guys are real, 248 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,752 but this house has been infested with fake loved ones 249 00:09:44,754 --> 00:09:46,154 that spread through fake memories, 250 00:09:46,156 --> 00:09:48,158 and our planet will be destroyed if they get out. 251 00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:53,670 But, Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to overreact to stuff. 252 00:09:53,672 --> 00:09:56,475 You guys, we got to hurry. I just got back from Walmart. 253 00:09:56,477 --> 00:09:59,180 They're selling Nintendo 3DS systems for $149.99 on sale, 254 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,786 plus every time you buy one, you get a $50 gift card. 255 00:10:01,788 --> 00:10:03,956 Brings the total price down to $110 after tax. 256 00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:06,328 Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches 257 00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:07,698 for 230 bucks apiece easy! 258 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,702 They're all limited-edition "Zelda" ones. 259 00:10:09,704 --> 00:10:11,171 Hurry! Hurry! Come with me! 260 00:10:11,173 --> 00:10:13,475 We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one 261 00:10:13,477 --> 00:10:15,045 and we can play Nintendo games! 262 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,216 Nintendo, give me free stuff. 263 00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:19,722 Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that, 264 00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:21,559 but also, I would never do that. 265 00:10:21,561 --> 00:10:23,028 Don't overreact, Rick. 266 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:25,299 - Sleepy Gary, a word? - Sure, Jerry. 267 00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:26,902 Rick, keep a level head, okay? 268 00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:29,675 'Cause I'll tell you a secret about Frankenstein-- 269 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:33,683 He's actually Frankenstein's monster. 270 00:10:35,487 --> 00:10:39,060 Sleepy Gary, my head is filled with memories of our friendship. 271 00:10:39,062 --> 00:10:42,768 I'm convinced that you're Beth's husband and I'm your friend, 272 00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,105 but if those memories can't be trusted, then... 273 00:10:45,107 --> 00:10:46,207 Jerry, just say it. 274 00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:49,615 Sleepy Gary, how do we know I'm real? 275 00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:51,117 Jesus, Jerry. 276 00:10:51,119 --> 00:10:54,357 No, you're real. Hey, look at me. 277 00:10:54,359 --> 00:10:56,027 Now, I don't know which way is up out there, 278 00:10:56,029 --> 00:10:58,800 but I know us, and you're real, Jerry. 279 00:10:58,802 --> 00:11:00,770 Remember our vacation? 280 00:11:02,908 --> 00:11:05,579 They're filming that new "Star Wars" movie down the coast. 281 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,053 - Should we check it out? - Sure. Why not? 282 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,706 Maybe we'll see Chewbacca. 283 00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:21,879 I'd like that. 284 00:11:27,792 --> 00:11:30,398 What are we doing? 285 00:11:35,306 --> 00:11:38,044 I don't give a damn what else happens out there. 286 00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:40,950 You and I are going to survive this. 287 00:11:40,952 --> 00:11:42,319 Okay. 288 00:11:42,321 --> 00:11:45,560 Hey, we agreed. Never in the house. 289 00:11:47,063 --> 00:11:49,901 That's a cool watch there, Rick. Can I check it out? 290 00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,504 Uh, no thank-- 291 00:11:51,506 --> 00:11:52,707 Okay. 292 00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:55,212 Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh? 293 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,949 Anybody here think it's suspicious 294 00:11:56,951 --> 00:11:59,420 that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here? 295 00:11:59,422 --> 00:12:03,094 Ah, you're paranoid, Rick. You've been paranoid since 'nam. 296 00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:04,430 So, what are you gonna do 297 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,067 when you rotate back to the world, Frankenstein? 298 00:12:06,069 --> 00:12:08,639 Shi-i-i-i-t. I'mma bust a-- 299 00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:11,077 No! Get out of my head, parasite! 300 00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:12,279 - No! - Drop it. 301 00:12:12,281 --> 00:12:13,949 Give me the gun, Frankenstein! 302 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,057 Give it back! 303 00:12:18,059 --> 00:12:19,995 Yeah! 304 00:12:19,997 --> 00:12:21,632 Frankenstein! 305 00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:23,501 Is anyone here even real? 306 00:12:23,503 --> 00:12:24,905 Am I the only real person on Earth?! 307 00:12:24,907 --> 00:12:26,174 Maybe. 308 00:12:26,176 --> 00:12:28,311 Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real. 309 00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,248 You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe. 310 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,019 I have a short neck and legs. 311 00:12:32,021 --> 00:12:34,089 - I went to college with Hamurai. - Hai! 312 00:12:34,091 --> 00:12:36,194 I saved Ghost in a Jar's life in Vietnam. 313 00:12:36,196 --> 00:12:38,364 - Boo rah! - And, Beth, how many times 314 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,268 have I been a shoulder for you to cry on? 315 00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:42,139 Too many. 316 00:12:42,141 --> 00:12:44,043 Okay, so maybe we're just all fake. 317 00:12:44,045 --> 00:12:45,445 That don't make no sense! 318 00:12:45,447 --> 00:12:47,617 Or maybe there's only one deceiver here-- 319 00:12:47,619 --> 00:12:49,453 The person that keeps telling us 320 00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:51,892 the path to salvation is being held prisoner 321 00:12:51,894 --> 00:12:53,361 and mistrusting each other. 322 00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:54,698 Hey, don't blame me! 323 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,300 I tried to shoot Summer 10 minutes ago! 324 00:12:56,302 --> 00:12:58,504 I know we all have beloved memories of Rick, 325 00:12:58,506 --> 00:13:00,475 but are we really supposed to believe 326 00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:03,381 that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car 327 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,922 just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years? 328 00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:09,446 Yeah, you know, he does have a lot of really weird, 329 00:13:09,471 --> 00:13:10,730 made-up sounding catchphrases. 330 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,332 Wubba lubba dub dub! 331 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,403 Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch! 332 00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:17,744 And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes. 333 00:13:17,746 --> 00:13:18,979 Hit the sack, Jack. 334 00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:20,783 Uh-oh! Somersault jump. 335 00:13:20,785 --> 00:13:22,252 AIDS! 336 00:13:22,254 --> 00:13:25,960 And that's why I always say shum shum shlippedy dop! 337 00:13:25,962 --> 00:13:29,668 Grassss tastes bad-ah. 338 00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:31,370 No jumpin' in the sewer. 339 00:13:31,372 --> 00:13:32,372 Burger time! 340 00:13:32,374 --> 00:13:34,276 Rubber baby baby bunkers! 341 00:13:34,278 --> 00:13:36,447 Lick, lick, lick my balls! 342 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,650 Yeah! 343 00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:38,986 Say that all the time. 344 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:41,725 That's a fake-ass catchphrase right there. 345 00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:44,196 Yeah, don't forget his incredibly vague back story. 346 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,800 Beth, I'm your father! 347 00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:47,069 Oh, are you, dad? Are you? 348 00:13:47,071 --> 00:13:48,706 Rick, if you want to prove you're real, 349 00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:51,077 just do what any of the rest of us would do and-- 350 00:13:51,079 --> 00:13:54,016 And-- and open the blast shields and let us the hell out of here! 351 00:13:54,018 --> 00:13:57,322 Why don't you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy 352 00:13:57,324 --> 00:13:59,861 with an old Jewish comedy writer's name? 353 00:13:59,863 --> 00:14:01,230 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 354 00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:02,801 In your face! 355 00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,571 Give me the gun. 356 00:14:05,073 --> 00:14:08,211 I'm not doing this in front of Pencilvester. 357 00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:10,015 Bring him to the garage. 358 00:14:11,419 --> 00:14:14,290 You listen to me, you son of a bitch parasite scum. 359 00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:16,728 We could either do this the easy way or the hard way. 360 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,197 You know, y-y-y-- Do you want to live? 361 00:14:18,199 --> 00:14:19,533 Then open the blast shield doors. 362 00:14:19,535 --> 00:14:21,470 Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed, little turd 363 00:14:21,472 --> 00:14:23,976 that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too. 364 00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:25,579 You know, Rick, this isn't easy for us. 365 00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:27,482 You know, w-we all remember you as a friend. 366 00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,119 Oh, oh, oh, really? 367 00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:31,157 Well, I remember you as a whiny, little piece of shit, Morty! 368 00:14:31,159 --> 00:14:32,426 - Oh-- oh, yeah? - Yeah! 369 00:14:32,428 --> 00:14:33,996 I've got about a thousand memories 370 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,500 of your dumb, little ass and about six of them are pleasant. 371 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:38,137 The rest is annoying garbage. 372 00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:40,342 So why don't you do us both a favor and pull the trigger? 373 00:14:40,344 --> 00:14:41,745 Do it! Do it, mother[bleep]! 374 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,150 Pull the [bleep] trigger! 375 00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,189 Oh, wow. 376 00:14:47,191 --> 00:14:49,126 Baby wizard was a parasite? 377 00:14:49,128 --> 00:14:50,997 He set me up with my wife. 378 00:14:50,999 --> 00:14:52,934 What the hell? 379 00:14:52,936 --> 00:14:54,470 I figured it out, Rick! 380 00:14:54,472 --> 00:14:56,307 The parasites can only create pleasant memories. 381 00:14:56,309 --> 00:15:00,348 I know you're real because I have a ton of bad memories with you! 382 00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:05,192 ♪ These memories that we have ♪ 383 00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:12,373 ♪ These memories that we cherish ♪ 384 00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:20,684 ♪ I wish that we can go back to that time ♪ 385 00:15:22,896 --> 00:15:25,098 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 386 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,202 Holy crap, Morty, you're right. 387 00:15:27,204 --> 00:15:30,007 Isn't that what you were trying to make me understand by yelling at me? 388 00:15:30,009 --> 00:15:34,250 Well, yeah, duh-doy. Took you long enough. 389 00:15:36,389 --> 00:15:37,890 Now let's go, Morty. 390 00:15:37,892 --> 00:15:40,228 We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate. 391 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:46,107 Everybody remain calm! This is gonna take some explaining. 392 00:15:46,109 --> 00:15:48,812 We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly. 393 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,983 Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator? 394 00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:54,056 I-I-- everyone has bad memories of me. 395 00:15:54,058 --> 00:15:55,993 You remember that one time? 396 00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:02,874 Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming. 397 00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:06,447 Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator. 398 00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:07,950 They're thrilling. 399 00:16:07,952 --> 00:16:11,591 And you've been a perfect companion to me my entire life. 400 00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:12,827 The jig is up! 401 00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:14,831 Get me out of here. 402 00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,333 Get me out of here! 403 00:16:16,335 --> 00:16:17,837 Aah! 404 00:16:17,839 --> 00:16:19,607 Oh [bleep]! 405 00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:21,477 Everybody back! If you're not a parasite, 406 00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,514 you have nothing to fear. So what about Summer? 407 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,920 Why am I always your go-to? 408 00:16:28,894 --> 00:16:31,463 - Never go in my room again. - I didn't! 409 00:16:31,465 --> 00:16:32,800 She's real. 410 00:16:32,802 --> 00:16:34,972 She's my bitch of a sister. 411 00:16:34,996 --> 00:16:36,174 Nice. 412 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:39,714 ♪ 413 00:16:39,716 --> 00:16:41,417 Mom, are you driving me to-- 414 00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:43,221 Hmm? Yeah, yeah, yes. What time? 415 00:16:43,223 --> 00:16:44,591 Oh, my god. Are you drunk? 416 00:16:44,593 --> 00:16:46,193 What are you? 417 00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:47,563 - My wife coach? - Your what? 418 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:48,932 Oh! God! Oh. Oh, my gosh. 419 00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:50,936 - Oh! God! Mom! - Sweetheart, are you okay? 420 00:16:50,938 --> 00:16:52,901 - I didn't mean to-- - I'm gonna have a bruise! 421 00:16:52,926 --> 00:16:55,387 - It's picture day! - It's not-- don't overreact. 422 00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:56,681 I can clean it up. 423 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,685 I want the police to take me! 424 00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:00,589 Morty, give a gun to the lady 425 00:17:00,591 --> 00:17:02,760 that got pregnant with me too early 426 00:17:02,762 --> 00:17:05,064 and constantly makes it our problem. 427 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,135 Thank you, sweetie. 428 00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:08,216 Beth, Beth, please! 429 00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:09,674 I thought it was too good to be true 430 00:17:09,676 --> 00:17:11,077 that we'd have compatible kidneys. 431 00:17:25,908 --> 00:17:27,008 Come on, man. 432 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,745 Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence 433 00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,515 or an awkward fart on a road trip? 434 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,519 Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything. 435 00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:33,855 Rick, I'm Pencilvester. 436 00:17:33,857 --> 00:17:36,093 Listen to that name. You can't kill me. 437 00:17:36,095 --> 00:17:38,164 You're right. 438 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,703 Kill Pencilvester. 439 00:17:50,891 --> 00:17:52,727 Summer, I've always loved you! 440 00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:54,931 Yep. 441 00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:13,534 - Oh, my god! - I thought you went to a concert! 442 00:18:13,536 --> 00:18:15,839 We forgot the tickets! Why in the kitchen?! 443 00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:17,877 I do it everywhere! Stop shaming me! 444 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,413 You're not the victim here! 445 00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:22,553 I hate you, and I was thinking about your friend Grace! 446 00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:24,256 Aaaaaah! 447 00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:29,967 Ah. Master Rick. 448 00:18:29,969 --> 00:18:32,573 Remember when you weren't going to shoot me? 449 00:18:33,911 --> 00:18:36,313 I guess I did the Butler! Ha ha! 450 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,284 Does-- Does that scan? 451 00:18:38,286 --> 00:18:39,620 Oh, I get it. 452 00:18:39,622 --> 00:18:42,091 It's a play on "The Butler did it." 453 00:18:42,093 --> 00:18:43,595 Thanks, Ghost in a Jar. 454 00:18:43,597 --> 00:18:46,836 You always were good at pointing out potentially obscure comedy. 455 00:18:50,978 --> 00:18:53,013 You got to hide me, Sleepy Gary. 456 00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,817 Don't worry. I have a plan. 457 00:18:54,819 --> 00:18:57,288 If we can get to my boat, there's a-- 458 00:18:58,627 --> 00:19:00,027 No. No! 459 00:19:00,029 --> 00:19:03,935 Just send me to Gary. I want to be with Gary. 460 00:19:03,937 --> 00:19:05,639 Oh, god. 461 00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:07,041 Whoa. What the hell? 462 00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:09,012 Look out for that homeless guy! 463 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:11,116 Open the door! Open the door! 464 00:19:11,118 --> 00:19:13,655 There isn't time! Just run! 465 00:19:13,657 --> 00:19:15,893 Get out here and help me! 466 00:19:15,895 --> 00:19:18,531 They say you shouldn't do that! Just run! 467 00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:21,503 Ugh. Sorry, Jerry. You're real. 468 00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:23,742 I'm a parasite! 469 00:19:23,744 --> 00:19:25,913 Yeah, but you're real. 470 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:29,954 Uh, uh, I need time to forget about Sleepy Gary. 471 00:19:30,156 --> 00:19:31,456 Me, too. 472 00:19:34,832 --> 00:19:36,366 From now on, let's all be careful 473 00:19:36,368 --> 00:19:39,039 to wash our hands when we get back from outer space. 474 00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:40,609 That goes for everyone. 475 00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:41,945 This is depressing. 476 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,949 We killed every good person in the house. 477 00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,953 We're what's left? What a family. 478 00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:47,623 At least we're real, Jerry. 479 00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,426 We're real. Ricky ticky tavi! 480 00:19:49,428 --> 00:19:52,031 Ooh, whee! Amen to that. 481 00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:54,737 Now, this little Poopypants is hungry. 482 00:19:54,739 --> 00:19:56,741 Will somebody pass me a pork chop? 483 00:19:59,983 --> 00:20:00,983 Huh. 484 00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:03,153 Is-- is something wrong, Beth? 485 00:20:03,155 --> 00:20:04,155 Ow! 486 00:20:04,157 --> 00:20:05,257 Oh, my god! 487 00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:06,661 - No, Beth! - Oh [bleep]! 488 00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,330 Wait, but I-- 489 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,800 - Oh, Beth! Why?! - I need an ambulance! 490 00:20:09,802 --> 00:20:11,269 There's been a shooting. My wife shot... 491 00:20:11,271 --> 00:20:14,610 Uh, my-- my wife shot a long-time family friend. 492 00:20:14,612 --> 00:20:15,237 Why? 493 00:20:15,262 --> 00:20:17,115 Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole. 494 00:20:17,117 --> 00:20:18,517 - I-I thought-- - Keep breathing! 495 00:20:18,519 --> 00:20:20,321 - Oh, god. What's happening? - Look at me! 496 00:20:20,323 --> 00:20:22,091 Look at me! Don't-- don't fall asleep! 497 00:20:22,093 --> 00:20:24,129 Is-- is this what bleeding to death is? 498 00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,932 Oh, whee. Is this how I die? 499 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,135 Oh, geez! Oh, my god! 500 00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:28,772 Why would you do this, Beth? 501 00:20:28,774 --> 00:20:30,642 It's not supposed to hurt. 502 00:20:30,644 --> 00:20:32,646 I-I thought... 503 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,882 Ooh, whee. 504 00:20:34,184 --> 00:20:38,090 ♪ 505 00:21:09,855 --> 00:21:12,125 Oh, he-- he's looking a lot better. 506 00:21:12,127 --> 00:21:14,897 Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself. 507 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,101 I made a similar mistake years ago, 508 00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:19,372 but, you know, on a planetary scale. 509 00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:22,980 - Is, um, is he mad at me? - He's not pressing charges. 510 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,585 I mean, that's got to be the "you shot me" equivalent 511 00:21:25,587 --> 00:21:27,221 of not being mad. 512 00:21:27,223 --> 00:21:31,831 - Can he have visitors? - He'd like to be alone. 513 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:34,937 He told me to tell you he's sorry 514 00:21:34,939 --> 00:21:37,074 you didn't have bad memories of him? 515 00:21:38,244 --> 00:21:41,449 If you love him, you should leave. 516 00:21:45,425 --> 00:21:48,865 And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes. 517 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,871 Did you get any of that? 518 00:21:51,873 --> 00:21:53,942 It's-a good show-a. 519 00:21:53,966 --> 00:21:56,468 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com