1
00:00:10,779 --> 00:00:12,281
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
2
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:15,387
HEY, GOLF IS EASY NOW!
3
00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:18,727
AAH! GOLF IS HARD AGAIN!
GOLF IS HARD AGAIN!
4
00:00:18,729 --> 00:00:20,898
THE VIEW FROM HERE
IS THE SAME AS YOURS, JIM.
5
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,237
A GIANT HEAD
HAS ENTERED EARTH'S GRAVITY,
6
00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,174
TRIGGERING CLIMATE CHANGE
AND NATURAL DISASTERS
7
00:00:25,176 --> 00:00:28,347
WE THOUGHT WERE IMPOSSIBLE FOR
AT LEAST ANOTHER EIGHT YEARS.
8
00:00:28,349 --> 00:00:29,749
LET'S NOT
MAKE THIS POLITICAL, TERRY.
9
00:00:29,751 --> 00:00:32,255
DO WE KNOW
WHAT THIS GIANT HEAD WANTS?
10
00:00:32,257 --> 00:00:33,323
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
11
00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,628
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
12
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:41,373
JIM, YOU HEARD THE...SAID --
"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."
13
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,177
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
14
00:00:43,179 --> 00:00:45,347
I WANT TO SEE
WHAT YOU GOT.
15
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,185
OH, BOY.
TIME TO GO, MORTY.
16
00:00:47,187 --> 00:00:48,220
UH, WHERE?
17
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:49,455
THE PENTAGON.
18
00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:51,359
I MEAN,
NOT THE PENTAGON.
19
00:00:51,361 --> 00:00:53,497
[ BURPS ]
THE LAME ONE HERE ON EARTH.
20
00:00:53,499 --> 00:00:56,603
♪
21
00:01:25,195 --> 00:01:26,730
Summer: IS IT GOD?
22
00:01:26,732 --> 00:01:28,533
IF IT'S GOD,
DO WE GET OUT OF SCHOOL?
23
00:01:28,535 --> 00:01:30,069
IT'S NOT GOD,
SUMMER.
24
00:01:30,071 --> 00:01:32,541
SHE'S ALLOWED TO THINK IT'S GOD
IF SHE WANTS, HONEY.
25
00:01:32,543 --> 00:01:34,412
SHUT UP, JERRY.
OKAY.
26
00:01:34,414 --> 00:01:37,218
DAD, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS?
27
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,553
MORTY AND I
ARE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT.
28
00:01:38,555 --> 00:01:39,956
YOU GUYS HOLD TIGHT.
29
00:01:42,663 --> 00:01:44,732
SCARY STUFF, HUH?
PRETTY FREAKY.
30
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,403
HI.
I'M MORTY'S MATH TEACHER.
31
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,573
I'M ALSO PART OF THE STREET TEAM
INVITING FOLKS
32
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,179
TO THE CHURCH DOWNTOWN
SO WE CAN PRAY TOGETHER.
33
00:01:51,181 --> 00:01:52,682
HOW IS PRAYING
GOING TO HELP?
34
00:01:52,684 --> 00:01:54,819
MA'AM, A GIANT HEAD IN THE SKY
IS CONTROLLING THE WEATHER.
35
00:01:54,821 --> 00:01:57,091
DID YOU WANT TO PLAY CHECKERS?
LET'S BE RATIONAL!
36
00:01:57,093 --> 00:01:59,395
I'LL SEE YOU
AT GOD'S HOUSE!
37
00:02:00,265 --> 00:02:02,435
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
38
00:02:02,437 --> 00:02:05,039
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN!
ONE AT A TIME! SIMON?
39
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,545
SETI, NORAD, AND EVERY
BROADCASTER ON THE PLANET
40
00:02:07,547 --> 00:02:09,782
ARE ATTEMPTING TO SHOW THIS
BEING WHAT HUMANITY'S GOT --
41
00:02:09,784 --> 00:02:11,886
STRING THEORY, WORLD HISTORY,
THE HUMAN GENOME --
42
00:02:11,888 --> 00:02:14,192
HAVE YOU TRIED
SENDING IT LAUNCH CODES?
43
00:02:14,194 --> 00:02:16,463
MR. PRESIDENT,
WHAT AMERICA'S GOT
44
00:02:16,465 --> 00:02:19,000
IS 70,000 MEGATONS
OF KABOOM-BOOM,
45
00:02:19,002 --> 00:02:22,508
AND I SAY WE SHOW IT RIGHT
UP THIS FLOATING HEAD'S ASS.
46
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,977
NO,
YOU NEED TO LET ME TALK!
47
00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,079
SHUT UP!
48
00:02:25,081 --> 00:02:26,483
HOLD IT! DON'T MOVE!
49
00:02:26,485 --> 00:02:29,389
STAY BACK! THIS WATCH
TURNS PEOPLE INTO SNAKES!
50
00:02:29,391 --> 00:02:32,661
♪
51
00:02:32,663 --> 00:02:33,663
OH!
52
00:02:33,665 --> 00:02:35,834
STAND DOWN!
EVERYBODY, STAND DOWN!
53
00:02:35,836 --> 00:02:38,407
I'M THE LEADER OF THESE PEOPLE,
AND I'M UNARMED.
54
00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,844
THERE'S NO NEED
FOR ANY MORE SNAKE-MAKERY.
55
00:02:40,846 --> 00:02:42,348
MY NAME
IS RICK SANCHEZ.
56
00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:43,617
THIS HERE
IS MY GRANDSON, MORTY.
57
00:02:43,619 --> 00:02:45,254
All: HI, MORTY.
HEY.
58
00:02:45,256 --> 00:02:47,191
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH OF THE GALAXY
TO KNOW WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE
59
00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:49,862
IS A CROMULON
FROM THE SIGNUS FIVE EXPANSE.
60
00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:52,768
SO YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT NUKES,
AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT MATH.
61
00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:54,138
THIS HEAD
WON'T GO AWAY
62
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,376
UNTIL [BURPS] EARTH
SHOWS THEM IT'S GOT...
63
00:02:56,378 --> 00:02:57,912
A HIT SONG.
64
00:02:57,914 --> 00:02:59,715
A HIT SONG?
WE CAN'T POSSIBLY --
65
00:02:59,717 --> 00:03:01,486
YOU MEAN
LIKE VIVALDI?
NO, FRASIER.
66
00:03:01,488 --> 00:03:05,059
A LIVE PERFORMANCE OF A NEWLY
WRITTEN, CATCHY ORIGINAL SONG.
67
00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:06,796
THE CROMULON FEED ON
THE TALENT AND SHOWMANSHIP
68
00:03:06,798 --> 00:03:08,233
OF LESS-EVOLVED
LIFE-FORMS.
69
00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:10,237
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, MR. SANCHEZ.
70
00:03:10,239 --> 00:03:11,473
CHANGE OF PLAN, PEOPLE.
71
00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:12,741
GET ME PHARRELL,
RANDY NEWMAN,
72
00:03:12,743 --> 00:03:15,848
BILLY CORGAN,
AND THE-DREAM.
73
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:16,983
THE-DREAM?
74
00:03:16,985 --> 00:03:18,820
HE WROTE "UMBRELLA"
AND "SINGLE LADIES"?
75
00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,457
YOU PEOPLE
HAVEN'T HEARD OF THE-DREAM?
76
00:03:20,459 --> 00:03:22,661
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO PUT THEM
ON THAT GIANT SPEAKER SYSTEM
77
00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:24,765
AT YOUR SONIC TESTING FACILITY
AT AREA 51.
78
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:25,968
HOW DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT THAT?
79
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:27,271
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
NATHAN,
80
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,507
THE MAN TURNS PEOPLE
INTO SNAKES.
81
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,042
HE CAN USE
GOOGLE MAPS.
82
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,880
SIR, PHARRELL, NEWMAN,
CORGAN, AND THAT DREAM GUY --
83
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:33,517
THEY'RE ALL DEAD.
WHAT?
84
00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:36,356
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? DO PEOPLE
JUST DIE WHEN I NAME THEM?
85
00:03:36,358 --> 00:03:37,791
THE GRAMMYS, SIR.
86
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,962
THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE
AND...ALL THE MUSICIANS,
87
00:03:39,964 --> 00:03:42,868
ALL THE FAMOUS ONES...
THEY'RE GONE.
88
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:43,970
DEAR GOD.
89
00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:45,140
HOLD ON, SIR.
JUST A MINUTE.
90
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,809
ICE-T SURVIVED.
91
00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:49,749
HE'S INBOUND ON AN F-15,
E.T.A. TWO HOURS.
92
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,185
GOOD LUCK,
MR. PRESIDENT.
93
00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:53,088
SIR, THE MAGNETIC POLES
ARE ABOUT TO REVERSE.
94
00:03:53,091 --> 00:03:55,494
IN TWO HOURS, THERE MAY NOT BE
AN EARTH TO SAVE.
95
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,698
SANCHEZ?
ARE YOU A MUSICIAN?
96
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,335
I DABBLE,
MR. PRESIDENT.
97
00:03:59,337 --> 00:04:02,575
GET THIS MAN AND HIS GRANDSON
ON A BLACK HAWK TO AREA 51.
98
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:05,881
PEOPLE! EVERYONE!
REMAIN CALM!
99
00:04:05,883 --> 00:04:09,689
EVERY CRISIS OF FAITH IS
AN OPPORTUNITY FOR MORE FAITH.
100
00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:12,528
WHEN GOD DEALS YOU AN 11,
YOU DON'T FOLD!
101
00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:13,730
YOU DOUBLE DOWN!
102
00:04:13,732 --> 00:04:15,701
AND ALWAYS HIT
ON A SOFT 16.
103
00:04:15,703 --> 00:04:17,137
THAT MEANS YOU, JEWS.
104
00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:19,909
I BEG YOUR PARDON, PASTOR,
BUT THE LAST I LOOKED OUTSIDE,
105
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,982
IT SEEMS TO BE YOU
THAT'S BEEN DEALT THE WEAK HAND.
106
00:04:22,984 --> 00:04:24,719
JEWS RULE!
107
00:04:24,721 --> 00:04:26,723
NOBODY?
OKAY, TOUGH CHURCH.
108
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,992
HI.
PRINCIPAL VAGINA --
109
00:04:27,994 --> 00:04:29,895
THE NAME'S REAL,
POSSIBLY SCANDINAVIAN.
110
00:04:29,897 --> 00:04:31,499
I'M JUST GONNA COME OUT
AND MAKE THIS PITCH --
111
00:04:31,501 --> 00:04:32,835
THE OLD GODS ARE DEAD.
112
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:35,440
[BLEEP] ALL PREVIOUS
EXISTING RELIGIONS.
113
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,678
ALL HAIL
THE ONE TRUE GOD --
114
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,915
THE GIANT HEAD
IN THE SKY.
115
00:04:39,917 --> 00:04:41,519
CHILDREN OF GOD!
AH-TA-TA-TA!
116
00:04:41,521 --> 00:04:42,788
BOB, BOB, I GET IT.
117
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,527
BUT UNLESS THIS
CAN BEAT THAT,
118
00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:47,431
WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE FOR ME LATELY?
119
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:48,767
SO,
IF YOU'LL ALL EXCUSE ME,
120
00:04:48,769 --> 00:04:50,270
I'M GOING OUT
ONTO THE SIDEWALK,
121
00:04:50,272 --> 00:04:52,474
I'M DROPPING TO MY KNEES,
AND PLEDGING MY ETERNAL SOUL
122
00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:55,447
TO THE THING THAT LITERALLY
CONTROLS THE [BLEEP] WEATHER.
123
00:04:55,449 --> 00:04:57,117
OUT OF MY WAY.
124
00:04:57,119 --> 00:04:58,153
OKAY.
125
00:04:58,155 --> 00:05:01,225
IF SANITY'S BEEN RESTORED
TO THIS ASSEMBLY,
126
00:05:01,227 --> 00:05:04,865
I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE COST
OF REPAIRING OUR NEW ORGAN.
127
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,536
SALLY, THE PLATE,
PLEASE.
128
00:05:06,538 --> 00:05:08,973
OH!
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART!
129
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,979
RICK,
ARE YOU REALLY A MUSICIAN?
130
00:05:11,981 --> 00:05:13,349
WHO'S NOT A MUSICIAN,
MORTY?
131
00:05:13,351 --> 00:05:15,320
ME!
YEAH,
NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE.
132
00:05:15,322 --> 00:05:17,257
WE'RE IN THE DROP ZONE!
I'M THE JUMPMASTER!
133
00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:19,261
MY NAME'S JAMEY --
WITH AN E-Y!
134
00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:20,263
GO, GO, GO!
135
00:05:20,265 --> 00:05:22,101
B-BUT --
BUT WE DON'T HAVE A SONG!
136
00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:24,238
GIANT HEAD IN THE SKY, PLEASE
FORGIVE ALL THAT WE'VE DONE.
137
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,342
WE'RE SORRY FOR OUR
INCREASED LEVELS OF EMISSIONS
138
00:05:26,344 --> 00:05:28,580
AND OUR RACISM
AND, OF COURSE, THE AMBER ALERTS
139
00:05:28,582 --> 00:05:30,217
I KEEP IGNORING
ON MY PHONE.
140
00:05:30,219 --> 00:05:32,154
WHOA! WHOA!
141
00:05:33,424 --> 00:05:36,027
ALL RIGHT, MORTY.
LET'S GET -- LET'S DO IT.
142
00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:37,865
WHY DON'T YOU, UH, FIND A BUTTON
ON ONE OF THOSE KEYBOARDS
143
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,135
AND LAY DOWN
SOME KIND OF BEAT?
144
00:05:39,137 --> 00:05:40,537
RICK, I THINK
WE NEED TO CUT OUR LOSSES.
145
00:05:40,539 --> 00:05:42,274
W-WE GET OUR FAMILY
AND PORTAL OUT OF HERE!
146
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:44,912
MORTY, GOOD MUSIC COMES FROM
PEOPLE WHO ARE RELAXED.
147
00:05:44,914 --> 00:05:46,883
JUST HIT A BUTTON, MORTY!
GIVE ME A BEAT!
148
00:05:46,885 --> 00:05:48,586
OH, MAN. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, UM...
149
00:05:48,588 --> 00:05:50,357
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
150
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,899
♪ OH, YEAH
151
00:05:54,901 --> 00:05:57,171
♪ YOU GOTTA GET SCHWIFTY
152
00:05:57,173 --> 00:06:00,644
♪ YOU GOTTA
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
153
00:06:00,646 --> 00:06:02,314
♪ IT'S TIME TO GET SCHWIFTY
154
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:03,349
♪ UH-OH
155
00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:06,087
GET "SCHWIFTY"?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
156
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:09,027
IT'S OUR WORLD'S BEST EFFORT.
THAT'S WHAT.
157
00:06:09,029 --> 00:06:10,831
♪ TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS
AND YOUR PANTIES ♪
158
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:12,935
♪ SHIT ON THE FLOOR
159
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:15,140
♪ TIME TO
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
160
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,544
♪ I'M MR. BULLDOPS
161
00:06:17,546 --> 00:06:19,181
"MR. BULLDOPS"?
162
00:06:19,183 --> 00:06:20,684
DON'T ANALYZE IT, NATHAN.
IT'S WORKING!
163
00:06:20,686 --> 00:06:22,321
♪ TAKE A SHIT ON THE FLOOR
164
00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:24,692
♪ TIME TO
GET SCHWIFTY IN HERE ♪
165
00:06:24,694 --> 00:06:26,529
[ RUMBLING STOPS ]
166
00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:32,140
...AND THIRD-LEVEL DONORS
GET OUR ALL-ACCESS FAMILY PASS.
167
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,043
LISTEN!
THE STORM IS STOPPING!
168
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,649
♪ HEY, TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF
169
00:06:36,651 --> 00:06:39,922
♪ IT'S SCHWIFTY TIME TODAY
170
00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:41,726
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
HMM.
171
00:06:42,495 --> 00:06:44,565
PLEASE BE KIND TO US,
FOR WE ARE BUT TINY THINGS
172
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:46,869
WITH ENTIRE BODIES,
STUCK TO YOUR GROUND.
173
00:06:46,871 --> 00:06:51,879
I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT!
GOOD JOB!
174
00:06:51,881 --> 00:06:54,351
YEA[BURPS]H!
WHOO!
175
00:06:54,353 --> 00:06:55,353
WE DID IT!
176
00:06:55,355 --> 00:06:57,023
[ ALL CHEERING ]
177
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,526
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HE WAS RIGHT!
178
00:06:58,528 --> 00:07:01,031
HOORAY PRINCIPAL VAGINA!
YEAH, I'LL TAKE IT.
179
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:02,200
NOW,
HOLD ON A SECOND!
180
00:07:02,202 --> 00:07:04,305
LET'S BE RATIONAL
ABOUT THIS.
181
00:07:05,073 --> 00:07:06,609
NO, I'M --
I'M JUST SAYING,
182
00:07:06,611 --> 00:07:09,047
WE DON'T KNOW THERE'S
A CAUSE-EFFECT RELATIONSHIP --
183
00:07:09,049 --> 00:07:10,717
[ RUMBLING ]
OH, MY GOD!
184
00:07:10,719 --> 00:07:11,719
WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?!
185
00:07:11,721 --> 00:07:13,222
WHOA! WHOA!
186
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,295
♪
187
00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:21,772
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
188
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,910
MR. PRESIDENT,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO SEE THIS.
189
00:07:23,912 --> 00:07:25,981
I THINK PLANET EARTH
HAS JUST BEEN TRANSPORTED.
190
00:07:25,983 --> 00:07:28,920
Principal Vagina: THE HEAD
HAS LEFT AND SENT ITS CHILDREN.
191
00:07:28,922 --> 00:07:30,490
HOLY CRAP!
192
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:33,663
OH, DEAR GIANT HEAD, WE
APOLOGIZE FOR THAT DISCUSSION.
193
00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:35,433
IT WILL NEVER
HAPPEN AGAIN.
194
00:07:35,435 --> 00:07:37,170
OH, DEAR --
OH, DEAR GIANT HEAD...
195
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:38,639
[ ALL PRAYING ]
196
00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:40,944
SIR, WE STARTED PICKING UP ON
A GARBLED SIGNAL.
197
00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:42,347
WE'RE
DECRYPTING IT NOW.
198
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,555
Head: WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US
WHAT THEY GOT,
199
00:07:46,557 --> 00:07:48,226
AND THEY DID.
200
00:07:48,228 --> 00:07:51,298
NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM
HAS GOT THE MOST.
201
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:55,640
24 HOURS, 5 PLANETS,
5 SONGS.
202
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,513
BUT IN THE END,
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE...
203
00:07:58,515 --> 00:08:00,250
PLANET MUSIC!
204
00:08:00,252 --> 00:08:01,652
ALL PARTICIPATION
IS INVOLUNTARY.
205
00:08:01,654 --> 00:08:03,189
DISQUALIFIED
AND LOSING PLANETS
206
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,226
ARE DISINTEGRATED
BY PLASMA RAY.
207
00:08:05,228 --> 00:08:06,862
UH, IT'S PROBABLY A BAD TIME
TO MENTION IT,
208
00:08:06,864 --> 00:08:10,603
BUT ANY ASTRONAUTS YOU GUYS HAD
IN ORBIT ARE DEFINITELY DEAD.
209
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,278
Head:
WELCOME BACK TO "PLANET MUSIC"!
210
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,014
FIRST UP,
LET'S HEAR THE LATEST SONG
211
00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:19,688
FROM PLANET PARBLESNOPS',
THE GREEBY BOBES!
212
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:21,192
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!
213
00:08:21,194 --> 00:08:23,463
HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
STOP.
214
00:08:23,465 --> 00:08:26,034
MUSIC ISN'T ABOUT
COMPETITION OR CAPTIVITY.
215
00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:28,139
IF YOU LOVE MUSIC,
YOU LOVE FREEDOM.
216
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:31,044
LET THESE WORLDS BE FREE!
PLEASE!
217
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:33,116
DISQUALIFIED.
218
00:08:34,819 --> 00:08:35,887
[ BUZZER ]
219
00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:38,392
THERE'S ONE EVERY SEASON.
220
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:41,499
MOVING ON TO
PLANET ARBOLES MENTIROSOS.
221
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:46,142
ARBOLIAN MENTIROSOSIANS,
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!
222
00:08:46,144 --> 00:08:47,911
A 2, 3, 4!
223
00:08:47,913 --> 00:08:50,216
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
224
00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:59,268
[ GUITAR STRUMMING,
SOUR NOTES PLAY ]
225
00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,605
RICK, MORTY, ICE-T,
THE TIMETABLE'S MOVED UP.
226
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,008
EARTH'S ON
IN SIX HOURS.
227
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,446
LIKE WE'RE NOT ALREADY
UNDER ENOUGH PRESSURE?!
228
00:09:05,448 --> 00:09:07,350
WHOA! WHOA!
[ LAUGHS ] YEAH!
229
00:09:07,352 --> 00:09:10,390
GEEZ, MORTY, THE GUY'S JUST
DOING HIS JOB. TAKE IT EASY.
230
00:09:10,392 --> 00:09:13,329
RICK, ICE-T, COULD YOU GUYS
TAKE IT LESS EASY?!
231
00:09:13,331 --> 00:09:15,466
WE'VE GOT SIX HOURS
TO COME UP WITH A SONG!
232
00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,204
GENIUS HAPPENS IN THE MOMENT,
MORTY.
233
00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:18,706
WELL, CAN WE AT LEAST
GO GET OUR FAMILY?
234
00:09:18,708 --> 00:09:20,075
YOU KNOW, SO WE CAN
TAKE THEM WIS--
235
00:09:20,077 --> 00:09:21,579
WITH U--
WITH US IF WE LOSE?
236
00:09:21,581 --> 00:09:23,182
THAT'S PLANNING FOR FAILURE,
MORTY.
237
00:09:23,184 --> 00:09:24,818
EVEN DUMBER
THAN REGULAR PLANNING.
238
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:25,753
BALLS.
239
00:09:25,755 --> 00:09:27,424
MORTY, MORTY, STOP.
LISTEN.
240
00:09:27,426 --> 00:09:28,893
THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH CHARGE
LEFT IN THIS THING.
241
00:09:28,895 --> 00:09:30,730
IF WE PORTAL HOME
FROM HERE AND BACK,
242
00:09:30,732 --> 00:09:32,867
WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH
CHARGE LEFT TO GET OFF WORLD.
243
00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:33,936
GET IT?
WHAT?!
244
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:35,206
YEAH.
[ BURPS ] YOU SEE?
245
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,508
I TRY TO SHELTER YOU
246
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:37,677
FROM CERTAIN REALITIES
[BURPS] MORTY,
247
00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,348
BECAUSE IF I LET YOU
MAKE ME NERVOUS,
248
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:40,783
THEN WE CAN'T
GET SCHWIFTY.
249
00:09:40,785 --> 00:09:43,189
STOP SAYING IT LIKE
IT'S A THING! YOU MADE IT UP!
250
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,858
HEY, MORTY,
COULD YOU LICK MY...
251
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,195
BALLS, BALLS...
252
00:09:46,197 --> 00:09:47,731
RICK, CUT IT OUT!
IT'S NOT FUNNY, RICK!
253
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:50,637
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
THESE GUYS ARE ONE-HIT WONDERS.
254
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:51,805
AND WHAT'S YOUR PLAN,
GENERAL?
255
00:09:51,807 --> 00:09:53,376
WE STILL HAVE
THE NUCLEAR OPTION.
256
00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:55,480
ON MY WORD,
WE CAN LAUNCH A MISSILE
257
00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:57,717
AT EVERY ONE
OF THOSE HEADS IN THE SKY.
258
00:09:57,719 --> 00:09:59,888
OUR PLANET'S HELD CAPTIVE
ON A LIVE GAME SHOW,
259
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,659
AND YOUR SOLUTION
IS TO SHOOT THE AUDIENCE?
260
00:10:01,661 --> 00:10:03,796
YOU CAN PUT YOUR FAITH IN NUKES
IF WE GET THROUGH THIS, GENERAL.
261
00:10:03,798 --> 00:10:06,669
UNTIL THEN, I'LL PUT MINE
IN RICK AND MORTY.
262
00:10:06,671 --> 00:10:09,274
"GET SCHWIFTY"
WAS A JAM.
263
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,345
HELLO?
YES, SIR, YEAH.
264
00:10:11,347 --> 00:10:12,781
EH, THANK YOU, SIR.
THANK YOU.
265
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:15,420
HE SAYS HE'S PROUD
OF WHAT WE'RE DOING
266
00:10:15,422 --> 00:10:19,127
AND HOPES WE HAVE
A GREAT ASCENSION FESTIVAL!
267
00:10:19,129 --> 00:10:20,163
HAPPY ASCENSION!
268
00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:21,465
All: HAPPY ASCENSION!
269
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,202
WE SHOULD PACK UP
AND LEAVE TOWN NOW.
270
00:10:23,204 --> 00:10:26,040
I THINK IT'S INSPIRING THAT OUR
COMMUNITY IS COPING WITH FEAR
271
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,646
IN A WAY THAT INVOLVES A
FESTIVAL AND HOMEMADE ICE CREAM.
272
00:10:28,648 --> 00:10:30,850
IF YOU'D STOP BEING
SUCH AN EVANGELICAL ATHEIST,
273
00:10:30,852 --> 00:10:32,987
YOU MIGHT
START ENJOYING YOURSELF.
274
00:10:32,989 --> 00:10:34,558
WHOA!
LOOK AT YOU!
275
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,195
YOU'RE WEARING THE HAT
AND EVERYTHING!
276
00:10:36,197 --> 00:10:37,564
HERE'S YOURS!
277
00:10:37,566 --> 00:10:39,701
MOM, DO YOU MIND
IF I COOK DINNER TONIGHT?
278
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,739
YEAH, SURE.
WAIT. WHAT?
279
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,511
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
YOU GAVE ME LIFE.
280
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,013
AND IT'S THE WILL
OF THE MANY HEADS
281
00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:48,352
THAT ALL CHILDREN
HONOR THEIR PARENTS.
282
00:10:48,354 --> 00:10:49,721
DINNER SOUNDS NICE.
283
00:10:49,723 --> 00:10:51,057
PARDON,
MR. AND MRS. SMITH.
284
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:52,994
SUMMER, ARE YOU
COMING TO THE ASCENSION?
285
00:10:52,996 --> 00:10:55,533
FATHER, CAN WE PLEASE
GO TO THE ASCENSION?
286
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,370
SURE!
LET'S GO TO THE ASCENSION.
287
00:10:57,372 --> 00:10:58,672
WH-WH-WHAT IS IT?
288
00:10:58,674 --> 00:11:00,777
WE HEREBY SEND THESE
UNWANTABLES SKYWARD
289
00:11:00,779 --> 00:11:03,215
THAT THEY MIGHT BE INHALED
BY THE MANY HEADS,
290
00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:06,588
LATER TO BE SNEEZED BACK TO US
AS BETTER BABIES.
291
00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:08,793
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
292
00:11:08,795 --> 00:11:10,797
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
293
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:12,100
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
294
00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:14,871
OH, YES! YES!
RISE TO THE GIANT HEAD!
295
00:11:14,873 --> 00:11:16,708
YOU ARE FREE
TO BE FREE!
296
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,779
AND SQUEEGEE COMES UP
FROM THE GARAGE, RIGHT?
297
00:11:18,781 --> 00:11:20,316
BUT HE'S GOT A LOBSTER
IN ONE HAND,
298
00:11:20,318 --> 00:11:22,487
THE MOVIE TICKETS IN THE OTHER,
HE'S LIKE, "I'M READY!"
299
00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:23,789
[ LAUGHS ]
300
00:11:23,791 --> 00:11:25,560
YOU GONNA TAKE A LOBSTER
TO SEE "IRON MAN 3"?
301
00:11:25,562 --> 00:11:27,564
[ Laughing ] ICE-T!
302
00:11:27,566 --> 00:11:28,732
AH, DAMN.
303
00:11:28,734 --> 00:11:30,803
WE'RE OUT OF
ORIGINAL-FLAVOR FIG NEWTONS.
304
00:11:30,805 --> 00:11:32,240
I SHOULD
GET GOING ANYWAY.
305
00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:33,576
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
C-COME ON.
306
00:11:33,578 --> 00:11:35,847
H-HOLD ON A SECOND.
HOLD ON.
307
00:11:37,618 --> 00:11:39,154
WHAT?!
DAMN.
308
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,525
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU [BLEEP]
AROUND WITH PORTALS AND SHIT.
309
00:11:41,527 --> 00:11:42,760
THAT'S IT! [ GRUNTS ]
310
00:11:42,762 --> 00:11:43,996
WHOA, WHOA, MORTY!
GIVE ME THAT.
311
00:11:43,998 --> 00:11:45,433
YOU LIED! YOU LIED
ABOUT THE CHARGE!
312
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:46,802
YOU WERE
JUST BEING LAZY!
313
00:11:46,804 --> 00:11:47,871
GET BACK!
SIT DOWN!
314
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,107
MORTY,
JUST PUT IT DOWN.
315
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,610
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
316
00:11:50,612 --> 00:11:52,447
I'M GOING TO GO
FIND MOM AND DAD!
317
00:11:52,449 --> 00:11:53,449
NO!
318
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,451
OH [BLEEP]
319
00:11:54,453 --> 00:11:56,121
OH [BLEEP]
320
00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:58,959
♪
321
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:07,644
[ FARTING ]
322
00:12:07,646 --> 00:12:09,214
OH [BLEEP]
323
00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:11,151
AND THEN ETHAN PLAYED GUITAR,
AND WE LEARNED
324
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:14,157
THE SEVEN CONTEMPLATIONS
OF THE HEAD BY SINGING THEM.
325
00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:16,060
IT WAS REALLY FUN.
326
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:17,096
PRAISE BE THE HEAD!
327
00:12:17,098 --> 00:12:19,668
Both: PRAISE BE THE...
YEAH.
328
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,572
HI, FOLKS.
HEAD PRIEST VAGINA.
329
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,442
THANKS FOR FARMING
ALL THOSE POTATOES.
330
00:12:23,444 --> 00:12:25,011
IT'S 6:00 P.M.,
SO IF YOU'RE A PARENT,
331
00:12:25,013 --> 00:12:27,684
YOU'RE NOW ENTITLED TO
ADORATION FROM YOUR CHILDREN.
332
00:12:27,686 --> 00:12:29,354
I'M GOING TO
START DINNER!
333
00:12:29,356 --> 00:12:30,623
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
334
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,694
SUMMER
IS DOING REALLY WELL HERE.
335
00:12:32,696 --> 00:12:35,366
SHE'S ACED EVERY TEST
IN POTATO CLASS,
336
00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:37,470
AND LOOK HOW IMPORTANT
POTATOES HAVE BECOME.
337
00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:41,278
SHE'S NOT GETTING PREGNANT OR
DOING DRUGS OR MISSING CURFEW.
338
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,582
PLEASE HELP ME.
YOU CAN REACH ME IF YOU TRY.
339
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:45,051
PLEASE HELP ME!
340
00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:47,290
THAT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS
AS LONG AS SUMMER IS THRIVING.
341
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:48,993
TACO TIME!
342
00:12:48,995 --> 00:12:51,465
I HOPE IT PLEASES YOU
AS THE HEAD DESIRES.
343
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:53,235
THAT'S WONDERFUL,
SUMMER.
344
00:12:53,237 --> 00:12:54,571
WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.
345
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:57,143
BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO
MAKE DINNER EVERY NIGHT.
346
00:12:57,145 --> 00:12:59,748
OF COURSE I DO, SILLY!
[ GASPS ]
347
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,754
OH, MY GOD, DADDY!
I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU SILLY!
348
00:13:02,756 --> 00:13:04,190
I'M SO SORRY!
349
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,926
HEAVENLY HEADS
AND CRANIAL CREATOR,
350
00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:08,298
FORGIVE MY TRANSGRESSIONS
AGAINST FAMILY AND COMMUNITY.
351
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,238
MAY MY CHORES COMPLETE ME
AS I COMPLETE THEM.
352
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:14,477
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
353
00:13:14,479 --> 00:13:17,784
♪
354
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:27,303
MORTY.
355
00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:28,305
BIRDPERSON?
356
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,340
YOU APPEAR TO BE DYING.
357
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,211
I WILL MAKE EFFORTS
TO PREVENT THIS
358
00:13:31,213 --> 00:13:32,480
BUT CAN PROMISE NOTHING.
359
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,016
[ GROANS ]
360
00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:36,321
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
361
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,763
WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK, ICE?
PROBABLY A LITTLE OVERDEVELOPED.
362
00:13:40,765 --> 00:13:43,669
SHIT, OVERDEVELOPED,
UNDERDEVELOPED --
363
00:13:43,671 --> 00:13:45,038
A BAD SONG'S A BAD SONG.
364
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,374
WELL, DO YOU THINK,
MAYBE --
365
00:13:46,376 --> 00:13:47,777
COULD YOU GIVE ME
SOME HELP WITH IT, OR...?
366
00:13:47,779 --> 00:13:49,114
AW, HELL NO, MAN.
367
00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:51,050
YOU DO YOUR THING,
BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO
368
00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:52,553
GET MY PRIDE WRAPPED UP
IN YOUR SHAME.
369
00:13:52,555 --> 00:13:54,022
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
370
00:13:54,024 --> 00:13:55,926
ICE, I DON'T WANT TO BE
A NEGATIVE NELLY OR ANYTHING,
371
00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:57,964
BUT [BURPS] IF MORTY DOESN'T
COME BACK WITH MY PORTAL GUN
372
00:13:57,966 --> 00:13:59,367
AND I EAT IT OUT THERE,
373
00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:01,238
IT'S, UH, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF YOUR PROBLEM, TOO.
374
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,444
PFFT! I AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT
NO EARTH BLOWING UP, MAN.
375
00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:05,746
WHAT? WHY NOT?
376
00:14:05,748 --> 00:14:08,652
YO, THIS IS WHY.
377
00:14:08,654 --> 00:14:10,790
WHAT THE [BLEEP]
YOU CAN TURN INTO ICE?
378
00:14:10,792 --> 00:14:13,095
MY STORY BEGINS
AT THE DAWN OF TIME
379
00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:15,566
IN THE FARAWAY REALM
OF ALPHABETRIUM.
380
00:14:15,568 --> 00:14:18,639
THERE, EVERY BEING
IS A LETTER OF THE ALPHABET.
381
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:22,947
BUT I WAS FROZEN AND EXILED
TO THE COSMOS BY MY ELDERS
382
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:26,086
AS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT
CARING ENOUGH ABOUT ANYTHING.
383
00:14:26,088 --> 00:14:28,091
EARTH IS JUST
ONE OF MY MANY STOPS
384
00:14:28,093 --> 00:14:30,930
ON A LIFELONG JOURNEY
WITH NO DESTINATION.
385
00:14:30,932 --> 00:14:33,435
SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE
I DON'T CARE IF IT BLOWS UP,
386
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:36,775
BECAUSE I'LL JUST BE
ICE FLOATING THROUGH SPACE,
387
00:14:36,777 --> 00:14:38,278
LIKE A COMET.
388
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,382
TAKE IT FROM ME, ICE,
[BURPS] YOU CAN'T JUST [BURPS]
389
00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:42,987
FLOAT AROUND SPACE
NOT CARING ABOUT STUFF FOREVER.
390
00:14:42,989 --> 00:14:44,824
PFFT.
MAN, WATCH ME.
391
00:14:44,826 --> 00:14:46,595
GOOD LUCK, RICK.
392
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:51,972
OKAY, THINGS ARE GETTING
OUT OF HAND.
393
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,675
I BETTER MAKE SURE
RICK HAS EVERYTHING HE NEEDS
394
00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:54,844
TO GET SCHWIFTY.
395
00:14:54,846 --> 00:14:56,748
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
396
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,218
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING,
NATHAN?!
397
00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:00,522
I'M THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED [BLEEP] STATES!
398
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,326
I'M SETTING THE NUCLEAR OPTION
TO LAUNCH
399
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:04,264
ONE MINUTE
INTO EARTH'S PERFORMANCE.
400
00:15:04,266 --> 00:15:07,035
AND YOU,
MR. PRESIDENT...
401
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,109
I HOPE YOU LIKE BEING
HIT IN THE FACE WITH A GUN.
402
00:15:10,111 --> 00:15:13,248
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHY -- WHY --
403
00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:17,223
I BELIEVE I CAN ACCESS
THE HISTORY OF RICK'S GUN
404
00:15:17,225 --> 00:15:18,525
AND HELP YOU
GET BACK TO HIM.
405
00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:19,928
BUT CAN YOU HELP ME
GET TO MY FAMILY?
406
00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:21,197
YOU KNOW,
AT -- AT MY HOUSE?
407
00:15:21,199 --> 00:15:23,135
IS YOUR INTENTION
TO ABANDON RICK
408
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:24,570
USING HIS OWN PORTAL GUN?
409
00:15:24,572 --> 00:15:27,376
IN BIRD CULTURE,
THIS IS CONSIDERED A DICK MOVE.
410
00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:29,414
ALL OF RICK'S MOVES
ARE DICK MOVES!
411
00:15:29,416 --> 00:15:30,883
WHAT --
WHAT AM I EATING?
412
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,386
WH-WHAT IS THIS,
BIRD-- BIRDSEED?
413
00:15:32,388 --> 00:15:34,891
IT IS RANDOM DEBRIS.
I FOUND IT IN MY CARPET.
414
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,394
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HUMANS EAT.
415
00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,064
YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS HUMAN EATS.
416
00:15:38,066 --> 00:15:39,400
DON'T BE GROSS,
TAMMY.
417
00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:40,736
BIRD [BLEEP]
418
00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:42,139
TAMMY, GROSS.
419
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,742
BIRDPERSON,
YOU ALWAYS STICK UP FOR RICK,
420
00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,080
BUT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.
421
00:15:46,082 --> 00:15:47,750
HE DOESN'T THINK ABOUT
THE CONSEQUENCES
422
00:15:47,752 --> 00:15:48,952
OF ANYTHING HE DOES.
423
00:15:48,954 --> 00:15:50,422
AND AS A RESULT,
HE HAS THE POWER
424
00:15:50,424 --> 00:15:52,760
TO SAVE OR DESTROY
ENTIRE WORLDS.
425
00:15:52,762 --> 00:15:55,265
AND HE IS THE REASON
YOU AND I KNOW EACH OTHER...
426
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:58,004
AND THE REASON
I'M ALIVE AT ALL.
427
00:15:58,006 --> 00:16:01,010
♪
428
00:16:01,012 --> 00:16:03,515
WHAT'S THAT?
WHO'S THAT BABY?
429
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:06,121
MORTY, SUPPOSE YOU COULD
RETRIEVE YOUR FAMILY FROM EARTH
430
00:16:06,123 --> 00:16:07,623
BUT HAD TO
ABANDON RICK.
431
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:10,295
I COULD GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES
SHELTER ON BIRDWORLD,
432
00:16:10,297 --> 00:16:12,733
EVEN JOBS,
POSSIBLY AS WORM RANCHERS.
433
00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:15,539
HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK
YOU MIGHT LOOK UP AT THE STARS
434
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,309
AND WONDER
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
435
00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:19,714
HAD YOU JUST
PUT YOUR FAITH IN RICK?
436
00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:22,520
Head:
THAT WAS CHUNKYTUNK WITH
437
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:25,058
"FULL MING MONG,
EMPTY GORBDORK."
438
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,163
UP NEXT, PLANET EARTH!
439
00:16:27,165 --> 00:16:28,732
OH, GOD!
WE'RE UP?!
440
00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:31,404
JERRY AND BETH,
YOUR FAMILY IS A GOLDEN EXAMPLE
441
00:16:31,406 --> 00:16:33,775
OF WHAT HEADISM
HAS TO OFFER THE WORLD.
442
00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:35,679
THE WORLD?
HEADISM IS A HIT.
443
00:16:35,681 --> 00:16:37,516
WE'RE TAKING IT WORLDWIDE,
AND WE'D LIKE JERRY TO BE
444
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,754
OUR CHURCH'S
HEAD OF ADVERTISING.
445
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,191
YOU WOULD?
446
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:43,395
BETH, WE'D LIKE TO PROMOTE YOU
FROM HORSE SURGEON
447
00:16:43,397 --> 00:16:46,367
STRAIGHT PAST HUMAN SURGEON
TO HEAOF MEDICINE.
448
00:16:46,369 --> 00:16:47,703
THAT'S MY DREAM!
THAT'S MY DREAM.
449
00:16:47,705 --> 00:16:50,876
THANK YOU.
THIS IS ALL SO OVERWHELMING.
450
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:52,246
BUT, UH...
451
00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:53,648
WE CAN'T.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
452
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:54,484
I'M SORRY?
453
00:16:54,486 --> 00:16:56,454
WE'VE BEEN WAITING
16 YEARS
454
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:58,225
FOR OUR DAUGHTER
TO RESPECT US,
455
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,963
BUT THE KEY IS,
IT HAS TO BE OUR DAUGHTER,
456
00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:02,733
NOT THIS PERSON
SHE'S BECOME.
457
00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:05,172
WE'LL TAKE OUR CHANCES
RAISING HER
458
00:17:05,174 --> 00:17:06,608
WITHOUT FANCY NEW JOBS,
459
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,845
OUTSIDE OF
A POTATO-BASED RELIGION.
460
00:17:08,847 --> 00:17:12,286
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I-I'M SICK OF
PRETENDING THAT WE'RE TOGETHER
461
00:17:12,288 --> 00:17:14,090
BECAUSE OF THE KIDS
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
462
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:17,496
I MARRIED YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
463
00:17:17,498 --> 00:17:20,435
AND I'M LUCKY TO HAVE YOU,
AND I NEVER TELL YOU THAT!
464
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:23,708
YOU KNOW, WE WILL COME OUT
OF THIS STRONGER AS A FAMILY.
465
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,779
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!
466
00:17:25,781 --> 00:17:27,816
SUMMER!
SUMMER, LISTEN CAREFULLY.
467
00:17:27,818 --> 00:17:29,787
I STOLE A PAPER CLIP,
AND I HAVE IT IN MY CHEEK,
468
00:17:29,789 --> 00:17:31,658
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH IT, AND IT HURTS.
469
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:32,993
YOU'RE GOING TO
BE OKAY.
470
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,463
YOU WILL COME BACK
AS BABIES.
471
00:17:34,465 --> 00:17:37,035
I AMA BABY!
I'M A BABY NOW!
472
00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:38,738
HELLO?
473
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:39,974
IS ANYBODY HERE?
474
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,211
[ MUFFLED SHOUTING ]
475
00:17:41,213 --> 00:17:43,648
MR. PRESIDENT!
476
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,417
[ GASPS ]
477
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:46,019
THIS IS BLUEBIRD!
478
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,323
CODE TANGO NINER ALPHA!
479
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:49,694
ABORT LAUNCH!
ABORT! HELLO?
480
00:17:49,696 --> 00:17:50,662
HE'S BLOCKED ME OUT.
481
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:52,166
SIR, I NEED TO
GET TO THE STAGE
482
00:17:52,168 --> 00:17:53,501
AND HELP RICK
GET SCHWIFTY!
483
00:17:53,503 --> 00:17:55,205
IT WON'T MATTER
HOW SCHWIFTY YOU GET, MORTY.
484
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,674
THE GENERAL'S GOT NUKES
SET TO LAUNCH
485
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,278
HALFWAY THROUGH
EARTH'S SONG!
486
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,515
OH, MY GOD!
UH, C-CAN YOU FLY A BLACK HAWK?
487
00:18:00,517 --> 00:18:02,519
CAN THE POPE'S [BLEEP]
FIT THROUGH A DOUGHNUT?
488
00:18:02,521 --> 00:18:04,757
UH, I'M...NOT SURE.
489
00:18:04,759 --> 00:18:06,127
EXACTLY.
490
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:10,235
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!
491
00:18:10,237 --> 00:18:11,771
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
492
00:18:11,773 --> 00:18:13,375
UH...
493
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:15,212
♪ LAPOO LAPOO LAPOO DOPS
494
00:18:15,214 --> 00:18:17,081
♪ NAPOO NAPOO NAPOO NOTS
495
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:19,620
HEADWARD,
FREE NOW TO RISE.
496
00:18:19,622 --> 00:18:21,157
HEY,
LOOK AT THE HEADS!
497
00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:22,926
LOOKS LIKE
THE HEADS ARE GETTING ANGRY!
498
00:18:22,928 --> 00:18:25,332
President:
I'M REALLY BAD AT THIS, MORTY!
499
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:27,303
THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY BUTTONS
IN THIS THING!
500
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,573
MR. PRESIDENT,
IF I'VE LEARNED ONE THING TODAY
501
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,279
IT'S THAT SOMETIMES
YOU HAVE TO NOT GIVE A [BLEEP]
502
00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:34,150
♪ NAPOO NAPOO NOTS
503
00:18:34,152 --> 00:18:35,819
UGH.
TOUGH CROWD.
504
00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:37,289
I'M SURE THAT HAS --
505
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:39,927
THAT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THIS.
506
00:18:39,929 --> 00:18:42,099
[ HEADS BOOING ]
507
00:18:42,101 --> 00:18:43,168
THE HEADS
ARE DISPLEASED!
508
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:44,170
SUMMER!
509
00:18:44,172 --> 00:18:45,172
UM...
510
00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:47,976
[ BOOING CONTINUES ]
511
00:18:47,978 --> 00:18:49,113
MORTY!
512
00:18:49,115 --> 00:18:50,315
Heads: HOORAY!
513
00:18:50,317 --> 00:18:51,784
HOORAY! LOOK!
514
00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:52,953
HOORAY!
515
00:18:52,955 --> 00:18:54,457
THE HEADS LOVE THIS!
516
00:18:54,459 --> 00:18:57,028
THEY LOVE IT WHEN WE DON'T
KILL THE SMITH FAMILY!
517
00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,631
NO!
STOP THAT!
518
00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:00,802
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERPRET
THE WILL OF THE HEADS!
519
00:19:00,804 --> 00:19:03,808
CALL OFF THE NUCLEAR STRIKE!
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT!
520
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,379
STOP
THE NUCLEAR MISSILE LAUNCH!
521
00:19:05,381 --> 00:19:07,383
JUST LAUNCH
THE MISSILES!
522
00:19:09,488 --> 00:19:11,491
[ PBHT! PBHT! ]
523
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,495
BOO! NOT COOL!
524
00:19:13,497 --> 00:19:15,499
I'M THE ONLY ONE
THAT SPEAKS TO THE HEADS!
525
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:16,834
DISQUALIFIED!
526
00:19:16,836 --> 00:19:20,242
THE HEADS DISQUALIFIED VAGINA!
GET HIM!
527
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,878
DISQUALIFIED!
528
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,348
DISQUALIFIED!
529
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:26,654
♪
530
00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:33,468
All: ICE-T?!
531
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:36,140
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S ME -- ICE-T.
532
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,976
I CARE NOW.
533
00:19:37,978 --> 00:19:40,215
YOU MADE ME CARE MORE.
534
00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:41,784
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
535
00:19:41,786 --> 00:19:45,725
I'D LIKE TO HEAR WHAT
RICK AND MORTY HAVE TO PLAY.
536
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,496
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
RICK?
537
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:49,934
I SAY,
LET'S DO IT!
538
00:19:49,936 --> 00:19:51,471
[ TECHNO BEAT PLAYS ]
Heads: HOORAY!
539
00:19:51,473 --> 00:19:53,073
YEAH.
540
00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:54,743
ALL RIGHT.
541
00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:56,414
♪ OH, YEAH
UH-HUH.
542
00:19:56,416 --> 00:19:58,083
HERE WE GO.
543
00:19:58,085 --> 00:19:59,487
♪ OH, YEAH
544
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:00,522
♪ SAY IT WITH ME
545
00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:02,793
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
546
00:20:02,795 --> 00:20:04,930
♪ RAISED UP POSTERIOR
547
00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:05,765
♪ OH, YEAH
548
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,769
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
549
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:10,275
♪ YEAH, RAISED UP POSTERIOR
550
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,310
SING IT
WITH ME NOW!
551
00:20:11,312 --> 00:20:13,848
OH, MY GO--
552
00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:15,785
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
553
00:20:15,787 --> 00:20:16,621
YEAH.
554
00:20:16,623 --> 00:20:18,291
♪ RAISED UP POSTERIOR
555
00:20:18,293 --> 00:20:19,326
ALL RIGHT!
556
00:20:19,328 --> 00:20:20,795
♪ HEAD BENT OVER
557
00:20:20,797 --> 00:20:25,004
OH, YEAH.
RAISED UP POSTERIOR!
558
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:28,311
AFTER 988 SEASONS
OF "PLANET MUSIC,"
559
00:20:28,313 --> 00:20:32,753
THE CROMULONS HAVE DECIDED TO
DECLARE EARTH THE FINAL WINNER
560
00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:36,227
AND BRING OUR MUSICAL
REALITY SHOW TO A CONCLUSION.
561
00:20:36,229 --> 00:20:37,930
GOODBYE.
562
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,333
[ PBHT! ]
563
00:20:39,335 --> 00:20:40,769
YEAH!
WE DID IT! YES!
564
00:20:40,771 --> 00:20:42,739
LET'S GET
A MUSIC ALBUM NOW!
565
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:46,380
DID HE JUST SAY
"MUSICAL REALITY SHOW"?
566
00:20:46,382 --> 00:20:49,353
YEAH, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
WE MAY HAVE BEEN CORRELATING
567
00:20:49,355 --> 00:20:52,192
SOME THINGS THAT WEREN'T
ACTUALLY RELATED AT ALL.
568
00:20:52,194 --> 00:20:53,561
HELP!
569
00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:54,797
WE SHOULD
GO GET HIM.
570
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:56,367
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
571
00:20:56,369 --> 00:20:58,404
I HOPE I CAN CALL ON YOU AND
RICK AGAIN IF I NEED YOU, MORTY.
572
00:20:58,406 --> 00:20:59,873
SURE THING.
AND I --
573
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,112
I WAS KIND OF HOPING THAT I
COULD GET A SELFIE WITH YOU?
574
00:21:02,114 --> 00:21:04,617
ACTUALLY, IF YOU TRY TO
TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED HERE,
575
00:21:04,619 --> 00:21:06,654
WE'LL DENY IT
AND PROBABLY WORSE.
576
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:07,723
UNDERSTOOD.
577
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,093
D-I-I-I-I-IE!
578
00:21:09,095 --> 00:21:10,962
OH, NO, NO, NO!
579
00:21:10,964 --> 00:21:13,568
WHY DIDN'T
HE TURN INTO A SNAKE?
580
00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:14,970
TRADE SECRET,
MR. PRESIDENT.
581
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:16,774
PARTICLE BEAM
IN A WRISTWATCH,
582
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,279
SNAKE HOLSTER
ON THE LEG.
583
00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:21,317
[ SNAKE HISSING, RATTLING ]
584
00:21:22,253 --> 00:21:24,757
[ WHISTLES ]
585
00:21:24,759 --> 00:21:28,331
[ LAUGHS ]
586
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,168
I LOVE THIS MAN!
587
00:21:30,170 --> 00:21:33,274
♪
588
00:22:03,669 --> 00:22:07,209
MAGNESIUM-J,
HYDROGEN-F...
589
00:22:07,211 --> 00:22:08,377
FATHER.
590
00:22:08,379 --> 00:22:11,183
WORD OF YOUR SELFLESS ACTS
ON THE EARTH PLANET
591
00:22:11,185 --> 00:22:13,521
HAVE TRAVELED
ACROSS THE GALAXY.
592
00:22:13,523 --> 00:22:14,890
I HAVE CHANGED.
593
00:22:14,892 --> 00:22:18,431
I AM READY TO REJOIN MY BRETHREN
ON ALPHABETRIUM.
594
00:22:18,433 --> 00:22:19,533
VERY WELL.
595
00:22:19,535 --> 00:22:22,472
YOUR EXILE ENDS TODAY.
596
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:28,551
WELCOME HOME,
WATER-T.
597
00:22:28,553 --> 00:22:29,753
[ EXPLOSION, RUMBLING ]
598
00:22:29,755 --> 00:22:31,490
THE NUMBERICONS!
THEY'RE ATTACKING!
599
00:22:31,492 --> 00:22:33,394
BATTLE STATIONS!
600
00:22:33,396 --> 00:22:34,429
AAH!
601
00:22:34,431 --> 00:22:35,431
FATHER!
602
00:22:35,433 --> 00:22:36,767
I LOVE YOU, SON.
603
00:22:36,769 --> 00:22:40,575
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
TURNED YOU TO ICE.
604
00:22:40,577 --> 00:22:43,681
WATER-T,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
605
00:22:43,683 --> 00:22:45,251
THERE'S TOO MANY
OF THEM!
606
00:22:45,253 --> 00:22:47,923
THEN I BETTER
CRUNCH THE NUMBERS.
607
00:22:47,925 --> 00:22:51,363
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ GUNFIRE ]