1 00:00:01,164 --> 00:00:02,700 [Siren wails] 2 00:00:06,962 --> 00:00:09,795 [Beeping, whirs] 3 00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:23,885 [Crying softly] 4 00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:25,227 [Sighs] 5 00:00:26,356 --> 00:00:27,938 -[Gasps] -Jerry! Jerry, come on! 6 00:00:28,066 --> 00:00:29,147 We got to go! You got to come with me, Jerry! 7 00:00:29,276 --> 00:00:30,437 -Rick? -It's important, Jerry. 8 00:00:30,569 --> 00:00:32,480 [Burps] The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders. 9 00:00:32,613 --> 00:00:33,899 Let's go. Put some pants on. 10 00:00:34,031 --> 00:00:35,988 N-Never mind, there's no time for pants, Jerry. 11 00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:37,698 I'll make you a pair of pants on the way. 12 00:00:37,826 --> 00:00:39,442 It's a Rick and Jerry adventure! 13 00:00:39,578 --> 00:00:41,319 Rick and Jerry episode! 14 00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:43,571 [Dramatic music plays] 15 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,277 Then I thought, "Hey, what about Jerry? 16 00:01:15,405 --> 00:01:17,316 He's -- He's good with regular folk." 17 00:01:17,449 --> 00:01:19,315 This is a real situation where -- where -- 18 00:01:19,451 --> 00:01:20,987 where Jerry could really shine. 19 00:01:21,119 --> 00:01:22,701 He's a master convincer." 20 00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:25,116 Rick, I'm not an idiot. I know what this is. 21 00:01:25,248 --> 00:01:26,989 Oh. Okay, well, I told Morty, 22 00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:29,287 "Look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He'll be fine," 23 00:01:29,419 --> 00:01:32,127 but I think he's worried you're gonna, you know...Pbht! 24 00:01:32,255 --> 00:01:33,711 And you know how Morty gets when he gets emotional. 25 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,750 It impedes my work. 26 00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:37,045 So, I told him I'd take you out and give you a win. 27 00:01:37,177 --> 00:01:38,542 Wait. My son asked you to take me 28 00:01:38,679 --> 00:01:42,138 on some kind of pity adventure to keep me from killing myself? 29 00:01:42,265 --> 00:01:43,596 Wait, w-what did you think it was? 30 00:01:43,725 --> 00:01:45,090 An execution. 31 00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:47,218 Geez! You really do need a win. 32 00:01:47,354 --> 00:01:48,685 No! I-I don't know. 33 00:01:48,814 --> 00:01:50,430 I mean, you never made me the pants, so -- 34 00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:51,851 So, you thought I was gonna drive you 35 00:01:51,983 --> 00:01:53,644 into the middle of the galaxy and shove you 36 00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:55,518 into the vacuum of space with your dick hanging out? 37 00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:58,271 And we're seeing how you'd act if that were about to happen? 38 00:01:58,407 --> 00:02:00,023 I mean, shit, I'll make you the pants right now. 39 00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:01,023 Take me two seconds to make you pants. 40 00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:02,866 -I have pants at home! -Jerry, if I make pants, 41 00:02:02,994 --> 00:02:04,325 they'll be better than your pants at home. 42 00:02:04,454 --> 00:02:05,535 Also, if I wanted to kill you -- 43 00:02:05,664 --> 00:02:07,655 Yeah, I get it. It'd be amazing. 44 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:08,872 Please, take me home. 45 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,661 I'll tell my son we had an amazing adventure. 46 00:02:10,794 --> 00:02:11,750 Well, if it's all the same, 47 00:02:11,878 --> 00:02:13,118 could we go get our story straight? 48 00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:14,336 Because you're a terrible liar. 49 00:02:14,464 --> 00:02:15,920 You called me a master convincer! 50 00:02:16,049 --> 00:02:17,039 You believed me? 51 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:24,805 Huh. This seems...kind of fancy. 52 00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:26,469 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent 53 00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:27,682 of an alien truck stop. 54 00:02:27,811 --> 00:02:28,926 You have no frame of reference. 55 00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:30,644 You're in a universe beyond your imagining. 56 00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:32,888 But, yes, it is super fancy. 57 00:02:33,024 --> 00:02:34,355 I mean, my job here is to make Morty happy. 58 00:02:34,484 --> 00:02:35,974 I'm not gonna take you somewhere dangerous. 59 00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:38,022 -[Grunts] -Rick Sanchez. 60 00:02:38,155 --> 00:02:40,317 I told you if I ever saw your face in here again, 61 00:02:40,449 --> 00:02:42,190 I would stick you like the pig you are. 62 00:02:42,325 --> 00:02:45,659 [Coughs] Shnoopy Bloopers, I told you if you tried... 63 00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:47,903 there'd be two funerals. 64 00:02:48,039 --> 00:02:49,905 Aaah! 65 00:02:50,041 --> 00:02:51,623 Someone? 66 00:02:52,502 --> 00:02:55,085 Uh, someone? Someone! 67 00:02:55,213 --> 00:02:56,999 [Both grunt] 68 00:02:57,132 --> 00:02:58,998 [Both laughing] 69 00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:00,966 My friend! It has been too long. 70 00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:02,550 RICK: Oh, it's great to see you again, buddy! 71 00:03:02,679 --> 00:03:04,420 -[Both laughing] -Yeah, you're doing it. 72 00:03:04,556 --> 00:03:06,593 Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants! 73 00:03:06,725 --> 00:03:08,557 The resort's covered in an immortality field. 74 00:03:08,685 --> 00:03:10,141 You can't die here. That's the gimmick. 75 00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:11,726 [Laughing] 76 00:03:13,982 --> 00:03:15,643 Okay, but still -- bad parenting. 77 00:03:15,776 --> 00:03:17,392 Hey, rich a-holes are rich a-holes. 78 00:03:17,527 --> 00:03:18,892 They all pay top dollar to come here 79 00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:20,770 and enjoy a consequence-free vacation. 80 00:03:20,906 --> 00:03:22,863 No death, no disease, no dismemberment. 81 00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:24,823 -[Grunting] -Can't even have a heart attack. 82 00:03:24,951 --> 00:03:25,986 Got it. The perfect place 83 00:03:26,119 --> 00:03:28,110 to take the most fragile being in the universe. 84 00:03:28,246 --> 00:03:29,657 I can tell you expect me to refute that, 85 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:30,905 but it's right on the money. 86 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:31,951 If I come home without you, 87 00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,539 I doubt Morty's gonna let me off the hook. 88 00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:36,205 Yeah, but what if you came home with Jeff Goldblum? 89 00:03:36,338 --> 00:03:38,921 Jeff Goldblum? What the fuck are you talking about, Jerry? 90 00:03:39,049 --> 00:03:40,210 [Spits] Jesus! 91 00:03:40,342 --> 00:03:41,924 Holy fucking shit! 92 00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:43,338 Yo, what's up, "Big Chill"?! 93 00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:44,881 Don't go into that telepod! 94 00:03:45,013 --> 00:03:45,878 [Both laughing] 95 00:03:46,014 --> 00:03:48,005 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure. 96 00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:49,802 On a fake adventure. 97 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:51,721 Speaking of, what are we gonna tell Morty? 98 00:03:51,853 --> 00:03:53,343 I don't know. But whatever it is, 99 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,312 we're gonna need a couple more of these babies! 100 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:56,100 [Clink!] 101 00:03:57,108 --> 00:03:59,475 -[Sobbing] -What's wrong? 102 00:03:59,611 --> 00:04:01,522 [Crying] Mom, do you think I'm hot? 103 00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:04,943 I...don't think that's something that matters. 104 00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:06,691 So, I'm not hot?! 105 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:08,989 I'm saying the part of you that cares about that 106 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,827 is a part you shouldn't give any energy to. 107 00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:12,071 That's not an answer! 108 00:04:12,207 --> 00:04:14,073 Because I'm not an issue of Cosmo, okay? 109 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,290 I'm your mother and a doctor, and -- 110 00:04:15,418 --> 00:04:16,704 I'm hideous! 111 00:04:16,837 --> 00:04:17,998 [Sobbing] 112 00:04:18,129 --> 00:04:19,290 Geez. What's with her? 113 00:04:19,422 --> 00:04:21,459 Teenage-girl stuff. 114 00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:24,333 Is that a...hoof collage? 115 00:04:24,469 --> 00:04:27,131 It's perfectly legal, if that's what you're wondering. 116 00:04:27,264 --> 00:04:30,097 Cool...zies. 117 00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:32,762 "We just don't have anything in common anymore, Summer." 118 00:04:32,894 --> 00:04:34,259 Oh, yeah, Ethan? 119 00:04:34,396 --> 00:04:36,228 What do you have in common with Tricia Lange? 120 00:04:36,356 --> 00:04:38,097 A mutual love of French cinema? 121 00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,644 The belief that a carbon tax 122 00:04:39,776 --> 00:04:42,518 is the only viable solution to climate change? 123 00:04:42,654 --> 00:04:45,897 Or could it be her massive stripper titties?! 124 00:04:46,032 --> 00:04:47,147 [Gasps] There it is. 125 00:04:49,327 --> 00:04:50,488 Boob-ya! 126 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,361 And that's when Malakai the Squid King 127 00:04:52,497 --> 00:04:57,162 rips off his face, and beneath it is my face. 128 00:04:58,086 --> 00:04:59,997 -I liked it. -Thank you, sir. 129 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:01,541 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him. 130 00:05:01,673 --> 00:05:03,664 Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks. 131 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,835 All right, we'll put a pin in it. 132 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:06,629 I'm gonna go take a leak. 133 00:05:06,761 --> 00:05:08,843 [Whistling] 134 00:05:14,311 --> 00:05:16,018 What the... 135 00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:17,762 [Grunting] 136 00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:24,773 Ah! My hands are dry! My hands are dry! 137 00:05:27,282 --> 00:05:29,569 My name is Risotto Groupon. 138 00:05:29,701 --> 00:05:32,033 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant. 139 00:05:32,162 --> 00:05:33,448 Do you have any comment cards? 140 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:35,321 Because I might have some thoughts. 141 00:05:35,457 --> 00:05:39,496 My kingdom was usurped by force with weapons and technology 142 00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:41,369 supplied by your father-in-law! 143 00:05:41,504 --> 00:05:43,541 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man. 144 00:05:43,673 --> 00:05:46,381 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family. 145 00:05:46,509 --> 00:05:48,625 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered 146 00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:50,673 what your life could have been without Rick. 147 00:05:50,805 --> 00:05:51,670 Wondered? Sure. 148 00:05:51,806 --> 00:05:54,264 I mean, I've wondered about having a vagina. 149 00:05:54,392 --> 00:05:55,348 Would you help me kill him? 150 00:05:55,477 --> 00:05:56,387 What? No! 151 00:05:56,519 --> 00:05:58,510 He's my wife's father. Move on. 152 00:05:58,647 --> 00:06:00,684 Do you...like theme-park rides? 153 00:06:00,815 --> 00:06:02,055 Oh, you really moved on. 154 00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:06,686 There is a popular attraction here called the Whirly Dirly. 155 00:06:06,821 --> 00:06:09,438 Between the first whirly and the third dirly, 156 00:06:09,574 --> 00:06:12,362 the ride dips just outside the immortality field. 157 00:06:12,494 --> 00:06:14,781 You're asking me to lure Rick to his death? 158 00:06:14,913 --> 00:06:17,450 I'm only asking you to go on a ride with Rick, 159 00:06:17,582 --> 00:06:20,700 get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family, 160 00:06:20,835 --> 00:06:23,042 where you can... wonder about having a vagina. 161 00:06:23,171 --> 00:06:24,753 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example 162 00:06:24,881 --> 00:06:25,837 pulled from thin air. 163 00:06:25,966 --> 00:06:27,582 I don't want to be known as the vagina guy. 164 00:06:27,717 --> 00:06:29,879 Risotto, you're needed. Someone ordered 165 00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:32,127 the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh and Fluzy Special. 166 00:06:32,263 --> 00:06:35,005 [Sighs dejectedly] Look, I'm not like Rick, 167 00:06:35,141 --> 00:06:37,303 so you're free to do as you please. 168 00:06:37,435 --> 00:06:39,346 But there comes a time in every man's life 169 00:06:39,479 --> 00:06:41,311 when he must choose the foundation 170 00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:43,430 on which his legacy will be built -- 171 00:06:43,566 --> 00:06:46,558 one of compromise or one of blood. 172 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,145 [Kids cheering] 173 00:06:50,281 --> 00:06:53,615 ♪ Once a time of year, there's a special person here ♪ 174 00:06:55,453 --> 00:06:57,615 [Whirring] 175 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,581 Oh, yeah. 176 00:07:03,211 --> 00:07:05,327 That's what I'm talking about. 177 00:07:05,463 --> 00:07:09,206 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side, then. 178 00:07:09,342 --> 00:07:10,628 Oh, come on! 179 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,000 [Gasps] Oh, geez! 180 00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:13,627 Aah! Stop! 181 00:07:13,763 --> 00:07:17,347 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there 182 00:07:17,475 --> 00:07:18,761 with horse parts in a bag? 183 00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,679 For Christ's sakes, Morty, women going through a divorce 184 00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:21,802 need a creative outlet. 185 00:07:21,938 --> 00:07:23,645 -[Crash] -What was that? 186 00:07:23,773 --> 00:07:25,059 [Deep voice groaning] 187 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,140 Summer! 188 00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:29,518 [Grunting] 189 00:07:29,654 --> 00:07:31,065 I'm coming, Summer! 190 00:07:33,074 --> 00:07:34,439 What the hell happened?! 191 00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,158 [Deep voice shouts indistinctly] 192 00:07:38,413 --> 00:07:39,494 How do we get her back to normal?! 193 00:07:39,622 --> 00:07:41,954 I don't know, man! This thing is pretty complicated. 194 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:43,494 I-I'm gonna call Rick. 195 00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:45,412 Well, hold on. We can't just call your grandpa 196 00:07:45,545 --> 00:07:46,751 whenever there's a problem. 197 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,370 We can handle this ourselves. 198 00:07:48,506 --> 00:07:50,372 I mean, I don't see the point in trying to. 199 00:07:50,508 --> 00:07:52,215 This is obviously Rick-level shit. 200 00:07:52,343 --> 00:07:53,879 I have a medical degree. 201 00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:55,252 Is that what this is about? 202 00:07:55,388 --> 00:07:56,799 L-Like, you want to prove yourself? 203 00:07:56,931 --> 00:07:59,013 Oh, it's not about anything, Morty. How dare you? 204 00:07:59,142 --> 00:08:00,473 Okay, good. Then I'll just call -- Ow! 205 00:08:00,602 --> 00:08:02,309 Morty, I need this. 206 00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:03,598 [Laughing] 207 00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:05,687 Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place 208 00:08:05,815 --> 00:08:07,806 where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-pedal. 209 00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:09,148 Yeah, I'm not really interested. 210 00:08:09,277 --> 00:08:10,859 My heart still belongs to Beth. 211 00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:12,273 Oh. Huh. Okay. 212 00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,270 [Slurps] 213 00:08:13,406 --> 00:08:15,238 What, you don't think I have a shot? 214 00:08:15,366 --> 00:08:16,401 I didn't say that. 215 00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:18,525 Excuse me. May I have another one of these? 216 00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:20,243 Coming right up. 217 00:08:20,371 --> 00:08:23,033 Hmm, things weren't always so bad between Beth and me. 218 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,748 We had some good times when we were younger. 219 00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:25,786 Oh, yeah, I bet. 220 00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:28,001 That's how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend. 221 00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:29,335 Yeah, no. [Chuckles] 222 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,796 Things were pretty great, even until a couple of years ago. 223 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,006 Jerry, I get it. 224 00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:34,750 That's around the time I moved in with you guys. 225 00:08:34,886 --> 00:08:36,092 Oh, I guess you're right. 226 00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:37,837 Jerry, you know, I hope you're not suggesting 227 00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:39,713 that I had anything to do with your marriage breaking up, 228 00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:42,466 because there are some major issues between you and Beth 229 00:08:42,602 --> 00:08:44,218 that have been there since you guys met. 230 00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:48,142 Hey, to new beginnings. 231 00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:50,603 To the Whirly Dirly. 232 00:08:50,735 --> 00:08:52,146 The Whirly Dirly? 233 00:08:52,278 --> 00:08:53,564 All right, what's going on here? 234 00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:56,275 When did you get cool?! 235 00:08:56,407 --> 00:08:57,522 [Laughs] 236 00:08:57,659 --> 00:08:58,990 When you stole my wife! 237 00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:00,234 I should have done that a long time ago! 238 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,735 We're going on the Whirly Dirly! 239 00:09:01,871 --> 00:09:03,453 Whirly Dirly, baby. 240 00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:04,366 [Clink!] 241 00:09:04,499 --> 00:09:06,410 -[Rumbling] -Aha, look at this. 242 00:09:06,543 --> 00:09:08,705 It says "normalize." I bet if we just press that -- 243 00:09:08,837 --> 00:09:11,295 But...if the machine was made by spider people, 244 00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:12,958 normal would mean eight legs. 245 00:09:13,091 --> 00:09:15,048 Oh, God! are you gonna go on another spiel 246 00:09:15,176 --> 00:09:16,962 like you did with the flesh-colored crayon? 247 00:09:17,095 --> 00:09:19,382 I'm pretty sure "normalize" will make her normal. 248 00:09:19,514 --> 00:09:20,629 [Whirring] 249 00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:22,972 [Deep voice] Aah! 250 00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:24,933 I'd call that progress. 251 00:09:25,061 --> 00:09:26,551 -She's huge! -And normal! 252 00:09:26,688 --> 00:09:28,144 -I'm not normal! -Mom! 253 00:09:28,273 --> 00:09:29,763 Okay, this says "reverse." Done and done. 254 00:09:29,899 --> 00:09:31,264 I don't think that's a good idea. 255 00:09:31,401 --> 00:09:33,893 Oh, come on! What else could "reverse" possibly mean? 256 00:09:34,028 --> 00:09:37,111 -[Whirring] -Aah! 257 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,856 Mom, call Rick! 258 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:40,403 Thank you. 259 00:09:40,535 --> 00:09:41,821 There's a customer-service number on here. 260 00:09:41,953 --> 00:09:44,285 -Mom! -[Dialing] 261 00:09:46,124 --> 00:09:47,285 [Screaming] 262 00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,533 Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome! 263 00:09:49,669 --> 00:09:52,252 I got to hand it to you, Jerry. This was a solid idea. 264 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:53,586 Uh, yeah. Uh-huh. 265 00:09:53,715 --> 00:09:55,422 And you know what? I'll cop to it. 266 00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,132 I put a lot of strain on your marriage. 267 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,092 It wasn't fair. I'm sorry. 268 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,710 -What?I -I didn't respect your marriage. 269 00:10:00,847 --> 00:10:02,133 I certainly didn't do it any favors. 270 00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:03,380 And for what it's worth, 271 00:10:03,516 --> 00:10:05,507 I'll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. 272 00:10:05,643 --> 00:10:07,930 Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah! 273 00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:09,678 Stop the ride! We got to get off. 274 00:10:09,814 --> 00:10:10,975 What are you talking about, buddy? 275 00:10:11,107 --> 00:10:12,689 We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out! 276 00:10:12,817 --> 00:10:14,433 -[Grunts] -Jerry, come on, man! 277 00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,276 We haven't even gotten to the first whirly. 278 00:10:16,404 --> 00:10:18,486 No, no, this sucks. It's so boring. 279 00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:19,730 I mean, I'm falling asleep here. 280 00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:21,777 Let's just get out and crawl down the sides. 281 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,492 [Both screaming] 282 00:10:30,627 --> 00:10:32,789 Ah, get down! Duck down! 283 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:34,127 It's more fun when you scrunch down. 284 00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:35,996 RICK: Jerry, what the - 285 00:10:36,132 --> 00:10:37,873 Oh, shit. 286 00:10:38,635 --> 00:10:40,342 [Grunting] 287 00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:53,976 [Screaming] 288 00:10:54,108 --> 00:10:56,475 Rick, up here! There's a spot where you can kill him! 289 00:10:56,611 --> 00:10:58,898 Good call, Jerry! 290 00:11:00,281 --> 00:11:02,898 -Hey, how'd you know about that? -Uh... 291 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:12,165 [Both screaming] 292 00:11:16,506 --> 00:11:19,168 [Both laughing] 293 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,836 Lisa? 294 00:11:20,969 --> 00:11:23,301 [Both screaming] 295 00:11:26,683 --> 00:11:31,223 So, uh, Jerry, big fan of the Whirly Dirly, are you? 296 00:11:31,354 --> 00:11:33,436 Not anymore. [Chuckles] Obviously. 297 00:11:33,564 --> 00:11:36,226 But when you were, how did you know about it? 298 00:11:36,359 --> 00:11:39,101 [Grunting] 299 00:11:39,237 --> 00:11:42,821 We had a deal, Jerry Smith. 300 00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:48,319 It's a really common name. 301 00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:50,324 Now, take it easy, Rick. 302 00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:52,948 You've been in a serious roller-coaster crash. 303 00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:54,620 It's -- It's no time to be thinking about 304 00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:57,335 who did or didn't play a role in your attempted murder. 305 00:11:57,463 --> 00:11:59,795 [Screams] Get it off me! It's eating me! 306 00:11:59,924 --> 00:12:01,414 Look, I confess, okay? 307 00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,337 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet 308 00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:05,051 and reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me. 309 00:12:05,179 --> 00:12:06,886 But then you said you were sorry, and I realized 310 00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,301 you're not a monster -- not like this thing. 311 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:09,639 Fuck! It's got me good. 312 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,007 This is a mislead, right? 313 00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:13,055 You're inventing a thing to save me. 314 00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:14,348 That would be called a knife, Jerry. 315 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:15,436 It's been invented. 316 00:12:15,565 --> 00:12:18,057 I'm making a way out of here. One seat ought to do it. 317 00:12:18,192 --> 00:12:19,398 I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. 318 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,564 -I won't do it again! -Nobody ever does. 319 00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:23,653 [Grunting] 320 00:12:23,781 --> 00:12:25,988 You self-righteous piece of shit! 321 00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:27,448 You took my family! 322 00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:28,942 I took your family? 323 00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:30,318 Who do you think had more taken from them 324 00:12:30,455 --> 00:12:33,823 when you shot 2000 of liquid dream-killer into my daughter? 325 00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:36,950 She was Rick's daughter, Jerry. She had options! 326 00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:37,575 Oof. 327 00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:39,794 That all ended because she felt sorry for you. 328 00:12:39,922 --> 00:12:41,788 You act like prey, but you're a predator! 329 00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,460 You use pity to lure in your victims! 330 00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:44,628 That's how you survive! 331 00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:46,502 I survive because I know everything. 332 00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:48,719 That snakes survives because children wander off, 333 00:12:48,848 --> 00:12:50,134 and you survive because people think, 334 00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,428 "Oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break. 335 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,597 I can't stand the deafening silent wails 336 00:12:54,729 --> 00:12:55,719 of his wilting soul. 337 00:12:55,855 --> 00:12:57,641 I guess I'll hire him or marry him." 338 00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:00,687 Rick! [Muffled] Rick! 339 00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:08,277 I knew you wouldn't let me die. 340 00:13:08,409 --> 00:13:09,444 That was never an option. 341 00:13:09,577 --> 00:13:11,033 Because you never had a son. 342 00:13:11,162 --> 00:13:12,652 No, because I need a living organism 343 00:13:12,789 --> 00:13:15,781 coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner. 344 00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:17,874 -Wait, what's happening? -Use that confusion, Jerry. 345 00:13:18,002 --> 00:13:20,915 It'll make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn. 346 00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,789 -[Low growling] -Jesus Christ! 347 00:13:23,925 --> 00:13:25,757 What the fuck, Rick?! 348 00:13:27,095 --> 00:13:29,257 Help! Help me! 349 00:13:29,389 --> 00:13:30,720 [Roaring] 350 00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:32,259 Aaah! 351 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,107 There's a space port 20 miles south. 352 00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:45,193 We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship 353 00:13:45,321 --> 00:13:46,686 and jump through a wormhole that will put us 354 00:13:46,823 --> 00:13:49,110 within spitting distance of the Milky Way. 355 00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:50,653 But, hey, it's about the journey, 356 00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:52,526 not the destination, right, Jerry? 357 00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:54,903 [Roars] 358 00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:56,325 [Moaning] 359 00:13:56,457 --> 00:13:58,915 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom's still on hold. 360 00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:01,000 Morphizer customer service. How may I help you? 361 00:14:01,129 --> 00:14:03,461 Yes, I'm having a little trouble with one of your machines. 362 00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:04,954 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. 363 00:14:05,091 --> 00:14:07,753 Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine? 364 00:14:07,885 --> 00:14:10,001 Let me check. Yes, got it. 365 00:14:10,138 --> 00:14:10,923 -Mom? -Great! 366 00:14:11,055 --> 00:14:13,012 Now, do you see the little button next to it? 367 00:14:13,141 --> 00:14:15,052 -I do. -Give that button a push. 368 00:14:15,184 --> 00:14:16,640 -Okay. -Mom, listen to me! 369 00:14:16,769 --> 00:14:19,010 We're free!! 370 00:14:19,147 --> 00:14:21,855 Okay, so I pushed the button, and three little men ran out. 371 00:14:21,983 --> 00:14:23,690 What do I do next? 372 00:14:23,818 --> 00:14:24,853 Hello? 373 00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,397 I think we got disconnected. 374 00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:28,361 -Morty! -Don't "Morty" me! 375 00:14:28,489 --> 00:14:30,355 I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure 376 00:14:30,491 --> 00:14:31,572 because I thought I could get a break 377 00:14:31,701 --> 00:14:33,362 from this kind of shit, but no! 378 00:14:33,494 --> 00:14:35,360 Like father, like goddamn daughter! 379 00:14:35,496 --> 00:14:37,658 You want to be like Rick, congratulations! 380 00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:40,578 You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! 381 00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,075 Everything okay here? 382 00:14:42,211 --> 00:14:43,747 Mind your own goddamn business, Gene! 383 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,542 I'm having a conversation with my mother here! 384 00:14:46,674 --> 00:14:49,166 Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna help him keep him around, Mom, 385 00:14:49,302 --> 00:14:51,384 but it will help you lose everyone else. 386 00:14:51,512 --> 00:14:53,253 Like I lost Summer. 387 00:14:53,389 --> 00:14:55,221 Hey, you haven't lost her yet. 388 00:14:55,349 --> 00:14:56,805 No, I definitely did. She's gone. 389 00:14:56,934 --> 00:14:58,550 God damn it! 390 00:14:58,686 --> 00:15:00,643 [Beeping] 391 00:15:00,771 --> 00:15:02,102 Go ahead. 392 00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:04,142 [Alarm blares] 393 00:15:04,275 --> 00:15:05,765 -Oh, come on. -What's happening? 394 00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:08,985 Your friend has class C or above cybernetic augmentations. 395 00:15:09,113 --> 00:15:10,569 Emphasis on the above. 396 00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:11,779 In any case, he needs to be neutralized. 397 00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:14,275 -What?! Wait! -Ugh! 398 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,572 [Groans] Brain hurty. 399 00:15:16,704 --> 00:15:17,660 What did you do? 400 00:15:17,788 --> 00:15:19,654 It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies 401 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,201 and controversial thought. 402 00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:23,200 He will now be an ideal passenger. 403 00:15:23,336 --> 00:15:25,794 I want cookies and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar." 404 00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,208 Seriously? [Snapping] 405 00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,081 -Quit it. -It'll wear off in six hours. 406 00:15:29,217 --> 00:15:31,549 It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights. 407 00:15:31,677 --> 00:15:33,293 I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right? 408 00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:35,170 Otherwise, the terrorists win. 409 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,142 Aah! 410 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:43,557 I'm sorry I'm not a classic maternal archetype. 411 00:15:43,689 --> 00:15:45,396 Okay, I don't know what to do when you people come to me 412 00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,232 with your weird puberty issues. 413 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,226 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you 414 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,443 if she's attractive? 415 00:15:50,571 --> 00:15:52,608 -I'll say, "Yes"! -Morty, gross! 416 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:55,732 Well, she's gonna be super hot. Her mother's gonna be Jessica. 417 00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:57,575 Wait, when did Summer ask you that?! 418 00:15:57,703 --> 00:16:00,115 Right before she Clive Barkered herself. Why? 419 00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:01,488 Wait, I know where she is! 420 00:16:01,624 --> 00:16:03,410 Ethan and Summer were supposed to go camping, 421 00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:05,705 and then he dumped Summer for this girl Tricia Lange, 422 00:16:05,836 --> 00:16:07,918 who's got huge boobies, and took her. 423 00:16:08,047 --> 00:16:09,913 Campsite -- The one with the name that sounds like somebody 424 00:16:10,049 --> 00:16:11,585 gave up halfway through naming it. 425 00:16:11,717 --> 00:16:13,674 Uh...Camp Flabanabba! 426 00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:15,168 Mama's coming, baby. 427 00:16:15,304 --> 00:16:17,966 Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties! 428 00:16:18,099 --> 00:16:21,057 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies. 429 00:16:21,185 --> 00:16:24,177 Mmm! And low-calorie petroleum flakes. 430 00:16:24,313 --> 00:16:25,428 Obviously cookies. 431 00:16:25,565 --> 00:16:26,680 Let's get you the flakes, then. 432 00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:28,398 Okay, but it's not what I wanted. 433 00:16:28,526 --> 00:16:29,641 Well, maybe next time, you won't be 434 00:16:29,777 --> 00:16:31,893 such a dumb piece of shit and you can pick for yourself. 435 00:16:32,029 --> 00:16:33,440 -That's not nice. -What's that? 436 00:16:33,573 --> 00:16:35,189 Did you just have a controversial thought? 437 00:16:35,324 --> 00:16:36,780 -No. -That's what I thought, bitch. 438 00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:38,775 You little punk-ass. 439 00:16:38,911 --> 00:16:40,697 [Chuckles] This is the best. 440 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,571 I agree. You've made things even easier 441 00:16:42,707 --> 00:16:44,493 than if you hadn't been incompetent. 442 00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,707 Uh-oh. We get shoot-shoot now. 443 00:16:48,796 --> 00:16:50,662 MAN: All right, folks, if you could please take your seats, 444 00:16:50,798 --> 00:16:52,038 we're about to enter the wormhole. 445 00:16:52,174 --> 00:16:54,632 So, I hope everybody bought a dinner first. 446 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:55,921 -[Chuckles] Nice. -Nice. 447 00:16:56,053 --> 00:16:57,509 -[Grunts] -Jerry, step over there 448 00:16:57,638 --> 00:16:58,924 and lock yourself in the escape pod. 449 00:16:59,056 --> 00:17:00,672 -You're not killing us? -I'm killing Rick. 450 00:17:00,808 --> 00:17:03,516 You're free to go. You're no threat to me or anyone. 451 00:17:03,644 --> 00:17:04,725 Now you're just being mean. 452 00:17:04,854 --> 00:17:06,185 Yeah, you're mean! No offense. 453 00:17:06,314 --> 00:17:07,804 Mean would be shooting you, Jerry. 454 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,021 This is saving a bullet. 455 00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,811 Go back to your quietly ashamed family 456 00:17:10,943 --> 00:17:12,399 and live out the rest of your days 457 00:17:12,528 --> 00:17:14,064 in denial of your vagina fantasies. 458 00:17:14,196 --> 00:17:16,688 It was a one-time thought that everyone has! 459 00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:18,064 [Grunting] 460 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,782 What are you doing? 461 00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:21,742 I'm being triumphantly brave! 462 00:17:21,871 --> 00:17:23,453 It's not triumphant or brave. 463 00:17:23,581 --> 00:17:24,696 You're not risking anything. 464 00:17:24,832 --> 00:17:25,822 You might shoot me. 465 00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,073 I think you know I won't. 466 00:17:27,209 --> 00:17:28,574 Because you know I feel sorry for you. 467 00:17:28,711 --> 00:17:30,418 You're just doing this so you can tell yourself 468 00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:31,707 you fought -- Ow! 469 00:17:31,839 --> 00:17:32,874 [Buzzing] 470 00:17:33,007 --> 00:17:34,543 WOMAN: Temporal shield compromised. 471 00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:37,258 Congratulations, Jerry. You get to die a man. 472 00:17:37,386 --> 00:17:38,626 Uh, that's okay! I'll leave! 473 00:17:38,763 --> 00:17:41,425 Please don't shoot. I-I'm the vagina guy, remember? 474 00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:49,854 Whoa! What is happening to me? 475 00:17:49,982 --> 00:17:52,269 Where is this? Where am I? 476 00:17:52,401 --> 00:17:54,233 Am I dead? A-Am I -- Am I still alive? 477 00:17:54,362 --> 00:17:57,525 RICK: Those aren't the questions you should be asking. 478 00:17:57,657 --> 00:17:59,568 -Huh?! -Shh! 479 00:18:01,786 --> 00:18:03,902 [Cawing] 480 00:18:05,915 --> 00:18:07,997 [Burping] 481 00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:13,040 [Ticking] 482 00:18:20,096 --> 00:18:21,803 [Roar] 483 00:18:21,931 --> 00:18:24,298 [Chuckles] Ah, got ya! 484 00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:25,594 Come here, you little pumpkin. 485 00:18:25,726 --> 00:18:28,093 I have shit on my ass. 486 00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:29,970 Whoa, fuck this! 487 00:18:30,106 --> 00:18:33,064 Who am I? 488 00:18:33,192 --> 00:18:36,230 I'm time! I'm literally time! 489 00:18:36,362 --> 00:18:41,448 ALL: Whooooa! 490 00:18:41,575 --> 00:18:42,690 Aah! 491 00:18:42,827 --> 00:18:45,785 Oh, God. I feel like our souls were united, 492 00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:47,870 and we were all one with eternity. 493 00:18:47,998 --> 00:18:49,409 Our body's unchanged, 494 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:52,079 yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes. 495 00:18:52,211 --> 00:18:54,122 Is that enough time for me to forgive you? 496 00:18:54,255 --> 00:18:55,120 I don't know, but it's enough time 497 00:18:55,256 --> 00:18:57,088 for a synaptic dampener to wear off. 498 00:18:57,216 --> 00:18:57,921 [POP] 499 00:19:00,261 --> 00:19:01,547 Jesus! 500 00:19:01,679 --> 00:19:03,761 He hadn't decided he was still going to kill us! 501 00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:05,880 He was talking himself into it. I've seen it before. 502 00:19:06,016 --> 00:19:08,804 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia. 503 00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:10,802 I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging 504 00:19:10,938 --> 00:19:12,770 with your essence for an endless epoch, 505 00:19:12,898 --> 00:19:14,855 and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole. 506 00:19:14,984 --> 00:19:16,645 Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways. 507 00:19:16,777 --> 00:19:18,142 Sounds like you and the word "epoch" 508 00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:19,519 have a lot of catching up to do. 509 00:19:19,655 --> 00:19:20,895 Wait, don't leave me! 510 00:19:21,031 --> 00:19:22,442 MAN: All right, folks, you're free to get up 511 00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:23,440 and walk around the cabin 512 00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:26,193 and maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast. 513 00:19:26,328 --> 00:19:27,318 MAN 11:2: Okay, you can do the dinner one 514 00:19:27,455 --> 00:19:28,866 or the breakfast one, but not both. 515 00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:33,282 You think you got that thing figured out? 516 00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:34,500 Yeah, I know what I'm doing. 517 00:19:34,628 --> 00:19:36,210 BETH: Good. Because I have an idea. 518 00:19:38,883 --> 00:19:42,296 It's actually a contraction of "some" and "more." 519 00:19:42,428 --> 00:19:43,589 -You see that? -Oh, wow. 520 00:19:43,721 --> 00:19:44,711 I was way off. 521 00:19:44,847 --> 00:19:45,882 [Roaring] 522 00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,346 [Both screaming] 523 00:19:47,475 --> 00:19:50,433 [Groaning indistinctly] 524 00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:52,802 [Both groaning indistinctly] 525 00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:04,731 Morty, what's happening here? 526 00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:06,574 Summer got into my grandpa's garage, 527 00:20:06,702 --> 00:20:09,034 messed around, and turned herself into a monster. 528 00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:10,995 My mom did the same to make her feel better. 529 00:20:11,123 --> 00:20:12,284 She's a good mom. 530 00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:15,204 [Both chuckle] 531 00:20:15,336 --> 00:20:17,452 Oh, my God. I have to 90 call my mother! 532 00:20:17,588 --> 00:20:19,078 -Tricia, wait! -MORTY: Ethan! Ethan! 533 00:20:19,215 --> 00:20:21,252 Hey, it's okay. Sit down. 534 00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:23,499 You made my sister cry, Ethan. 535 00:20:23,636 --> 00:20:25,047 You messed with her body image. 536 00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:27,170 -Look, Morty, I -- -Shh, shh, shh. 537 00:20:27,306 --> 00:20:30,139 Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning. 538 00:20:30,893 --> 00:20:34,557 [Beep, whirring] 539 00:20:34,688 --> 00:20:36,474 [Gulps] 540 00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:43,027 Uh, I guess we better get on the same page 541 00:20:43,155 --> 00:20:44,520 about our fake adventure. 542 00:20:44,657 --> 00:20:45,943 -Right. -I'll make you a deal. 543 00:20:46,075 --> 00:20:47,611 I'll leave out the part where you tried to murder me... 544 00:20:47,743 --> 00:20:48,608 And I'll leave out the part 545 00:20:48,744 --> 00:20:50,781 where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage. 546 00:20:52,790 --> 00:20:54,076 You want to... 547 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,790 Nah, if the family sees me like this, 548 00:20:55,918 --> 00:20:57,408 they'll feel sorry for me. 549 00:20:57,545 --> 00:20:59,752 Which is no longer my signature move. 550 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,871 Later days, amigo. 551 00:21:04,718 --> 00:21:06,334 Actually, I just realized, I don't have my wallet, 552 00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:07,926 and my bus pass is in there. so maybe - 553 00:21:08,055 --> 00:21:09,386 Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you! 554 00:21:09,515 --> 00:21:10,971 [Lock clicks] 555 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,091 [Whirring] 556 00:21:15,896 --> 00:21:16,852 [Sighs] 557 00:21:16,981 --> 00:21:18,972 [Dramatic music plays] 558 00:21:49,805 --> 00:21:52,297 I tell you, fellas. This is the life. 559 00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:53,844 It certainly is. 560 00:21:53,976 --> 00:21:55,091 To freedom! 561 00:21:55,227 --> 00:21:56,433 [Groaning] 562 00:21:56,562 --> 00:21:58,519 Ooh! Looks like a 4-22. 563 00:21:58,647 --> 00:22:00,183 Ooh, a couple cranks on the scaling knob 564 00:22:00,316 --> 00:22:03,024 with a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that up in a jiff. 565 00:22:03,152 --> 00:22:06,144 Four? You'd be lucky to clear 13% de-morphized 566 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,361 with that kind of range. 567 00:22:07,489 --> 00:22:10,151 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on? 568 00:22:10,284 --> 00:22:11,695 TOGETHER: No work talk! 569 00:22:11,827 --> 00:22:14,615 Let's just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall -- 570 00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:16,329 -[Bird screeches] -Oh, my God! 571 00:22:16,457 --> 00:22:17,868 Aaah!