1
00:00:01,081 --> 00:00:02,663
Morty, hurry!
2
00:00:02,791 --> 00:00:05,078
Return the Truth Tortoise!
3
00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:07,326
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the Truth Tortoise!
4
00:00:07,462 --> 00:00:08,497
Also really important,
5
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,462
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!
6
00:00:10,591 --> 00:00:13,128
I-I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!
7
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:14,295
Now you're gonna know
everything, Morty!
8
00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:16,135
Good job! Way to go!
You fucked everything up!
9
00:00:16,263 --> 00:00:18,300
[Speaking gibberish]
10
00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:20,594
It's in my head!
[Screams]
11
00:00:20,726 --> 00:00:21,557
Ah!
12
00:00:22,603 --> 00:00:24,560
[Screams]
13
00:00:26,106 --> 00:00:28,939
Oh, geez, I-I can't get that
Truth Tortoise out of my head.
14
00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:30,853
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.
15
00:00:30,986 --> 00:00:32,897
Hey, Morty, let's watch
some interdimensional cable.
16
00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:33,895
Remember how we used to do that?
17
00:00:34,031 --> 00:00:35,692
Rick, I can't - I can't go on.
18
00:00:35,824 --> 00:00:36,939
I-I can't go on like this
19
00:00:37,075 --> 00:00:38,486
with the Truth Tortoise shit
in my head.
20
00:00:38,619 --> 00:00:39,700
I-I wish you could just -
21
00:00:39,828 --> 00:00:41,990
Erase the memory from your mind?
22
00:00:42,122 --> 00:00:43,829
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
23
00:00:43,957 --> 00:00:45,493
Come on, Morty, come with me.
24
00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:47,742
After you.
25
00:00:49,171 --> 00:00:50,582
What the hell is this?!
26
00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:52,296
This, Morty, is my archive
27
00:00:52,424 --> 00:00:54,586
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove
28
00:00:54,718 --> 00:00:57,005
from your life,
lest you go insane.
29
00:00:57,137 --> 00:01:00,721
I call them
Morty's Mind Blowers.
30
00:01:00,849 --> 00:01:03,090
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.
31
00:01:03,268 --> 00:01:05,805
[Dramatic music plays]
32
00:01:35,092 --> 00:01:37,083
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?
33
00:01:37,219 --> 00:01:39,426
Since the first [burps] time
your mind was blown.
34
00:01:39,554 --> 00:01:40,919
Ahh, here it is.
[Burps]
35
00:01:41,056 --> 00:01:42,342
Classic.
[Blows]
36
00:01:42,474 --> 00:01:43,714
There's no dust on it because
37
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,340
this isn't the first time
we've done this.
38
00:01:45,477 --> 00:01:49,311
-What?I
-I call this one "Moonspiracy"!
39
00:01:49,439 --> 00:01:50,975
[Laughs]
40
00:01:51,108 --> 00:01:54,851
[Insects chirping]
41
00:01:54,986 --> 00:01:57,523
MORTY: Huh, wow.
That's incredible.
42
00:01:59,074 --> 00:01:59,984
What the heck?
43
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:04,072
Morty, do you realize
how ridiculous that sounds?
44
00:02:04,204 --> 00:02:05,319
Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.
45
00:02:05,455 --> 00:02:06,286
Are you serious?
46
00:02:06,415 --> 00:02:08,952
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?
47
00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:10,666
I've been to 300 versions
of Earth's moon,
48
00:02:10,794 --> 00:02:12,626
including this one,
and I've never seen signs
49
00:02:12,754 --> 00:02:14,711
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,
50
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:15,705
hanging out up there.
51
00:02:15,841 --> 00:02:17,798
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
52
00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:21,294
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!
53
00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:23,467
I know the difference between
a man threatening me
54
00:02:23,598 --> 00:02:25,509
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, Summer!
55
00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:27,474
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?
56
00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:29,343
I'm fine!
57
00:02:29,479 --> 00:02:30,969
So sensitive.
58
00:02:31,106 --> 00:02:33,143
[School bell rings]
59
00:02:33,275 --> 00:02:34,811
PRINCIPAL VAGINA: Kids,
I'd like to introduce you all
60
00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:37,856
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.
61
00:02:37,988 --> 00:02:40,355
I look forward
to helping guide you all
62
00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:42,606
towards a brighter future.
63
00:02:42,743 --> 00:02:45,110
I believe every
student should...
64
00:02:45,245 --> 00:02:47,532
shoot for the moon.
65
00:02:51,626 --> 00:02:53,833
Got you now, you son of a bitch.
66
00:02:53,962 --> 00:02:55,919
[Camera shutter clicking]
67
00:02:57,299 --> 00:02:58,380
What's this?
68
00:02:58,508 --> 00:03:01,000
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!
69
00:03:01,136 --> 00:03:02,171
He's not a guidance counselor?
70
00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:05,137
I-I assume he's qualified
to be one. Who isn't?
71
00:03:05,265 --> 00:03:08,348
But he also lives on the moon.
72
00:03:08,477 --> 00:03:10,263
Okay.
73
00:03:10,395 --> 00:03:12,853
Hmm.
Is that it?
74
00:03:12,981 --> 00:03:14,346
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?
75
00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:15,973
Oh, he's up to something.
76
00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,396
I think I understand.
77
00:03:18,528 --> 00:03:20,439
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."
78
00:03:20,572 --> 00:03:21,812
Okay, I'll talk to him.
79
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:32,906
[Tires screeching]
80
00:03:34,002 --> 00:03:35,037
What did he say?
81
00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,161
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do.
82
00:03:37,297 --> 00:03:38,503
They deny.
It's their bread and butter.
83
00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:39,872
-Pedophile?
-You don't think so?
84
00:03:40,008 --> 00:03:41,248
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.
85
00:03:41,384 --> 00:03:43,375
No, he's literally
from the moon!
86
00:03:43,512 --> 00:03:44,593
Well, you saw him react.
87
00:03:44,721 --> 00:03:47,258
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.
88
00:03:50,936 --> 00:03:53,223
[Siren wails]
89
00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:55,266
Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.
90
00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:57,639
We don't know what drove him
to take his own life,
91
00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:59,608
but we want to remember
the good things.
92
00:03:59,736 --> 00:04:00,976
Like how, from a certain angle,
93
00:04:01,112 --> 00:04:04,446
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.
94
00:04:08,245 --> 00:04:09,360
[Squeak]
95
00:04:09,496 --> 00:04:10,986
Oh, my God, what have I done?
96
00:04:11,122 --> 00:04:12,487
What have I done?
97
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,449
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!
98
00:04:15,585 --> 00:04:16,666
Only in a literal sense.
99
00:04:16,795 --> 00:04:19,913
Here's one I call
"Morty's [burp] Menagerie."
100
00:04:20,048 --> 00:04:21,083
They don't all
have titles, though.
101
00:04:21,216 --> 00:04:22,706
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,
102
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:26,302
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!
103
00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,175
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.
104
00:04:29,307 --> 00:04:31,344
So this guy collects
living beings?
105
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:33,058
RICK: Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,
106
00:04:33,186 --> 00:04:34,142
but less off-putting.
107
00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:36,308
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 405.
108
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,305
Assess this with
cold indifference,
109
00:04:38,441 --> 00:04:39,272
you veiny-headed prick!
110
00:04:39,401 --> 00:04:41,608
-[Crash!]
-Hey, keep it down!
111
00:04:41,736 --> 00:04:43,352
Just our luck, menagerie beneath
112
00:04:43,488 --> 00:04:45,399
the "boulder people"
of Granitor Seven.
113
00:04:45,532 --> 00:04:46,567
I can't take it anymore, Rick!
114
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,156
-[Banging]
-Relax, Morty!
115
00:04:48,285 --> 00:04:50,617
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we --
we gotta get outta here!
116
00:04:50,745 --> 00:04:52,281
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!
117
00:04:52,414 --> 00:04:53,950
-Anything?
-Anything!
118
00:04:54,082 --> 00:04:55,789
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.
119
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:57,783
Not yet.
I'll tell you when.
120
00:04:57,919 --> 00:04:59,876
[Sonar pinging]
121
00:05:00,005 --> 00:05:02,542
[Chattering]
122
00:05:02,674 --> 00:05:04,381
Dear God.
123
00:05:04,509 --> 00:05:05,965
What?
124
00:05:06,094 --> 00:05:08,381
The signal turned out to be -
125
00:05:08,513 --> 00:05:10,345
there's no other way
to put it --
126
00:05:10,473 --> 00:05:12,180
-Instructions.
-For?
127
00:05:12,309 --> 00:05:15,222
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.
128
00:05:15,353 --> 00:05:17,970
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.
129
00:05:19,065 --> 00:05:22,274
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.
130
00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:24,393
I mean, they really
specify smaller.
131
00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:26,861
They have to be exactly 5'3".
132
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:29,448
Chang, you may have majored
in Liberal Arts,
133
00:05:29,576 --> 00:05:31,863
but I think you're about
to make history.
134
00:05:32,871 --> 00:05:34,157
[Grunts]
135
00:05:34,289 --> 00:05:35,404
WOMAN:
Primary systems, check.
136
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,497
Auxiliary systems, check.
137
00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:39,037
See you soon.
138
00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:43,954
Okay, now.
139
00:05:45,842 --> 00:05:46,752
Greetings.
140
00:05:46,885 --> 00:05:47,875
You're --
You look...
141
00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:50,469
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.
142
00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:52,804
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.
143
00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:54,515
Please, put them on.
144
00:05:54,643 --> 00:05:56,759
-May we?
-Of course, yes.
145
00:05:56,895 --> 00:05:58,351
We followed your instructions.
146
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,063
We have so much
to learn from you.
147
00:06:01,191 --> 00:06:02,602
I know, right?
148
00:06:03,735 --> 00:06:06,318
[Creak]
149
00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:11,445
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?
150
00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:13,237
I-I wouldn't have been
around for that.
151
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,860
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, Morty.
152
00:06:14,996 --> 00:06:16,157
It helps the mind blowers
153
00:06:16,289 --> 00:06:17,871
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.
154
00:06:17,999 --> 00:06:21,208
I call this one
"The Whole Enchilada.
155
00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:23,668
Here, Morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.
156
00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:25,879
Now can we keep shopping?
157
00:06:26,007 --> 00:06:27,543
I am Zikzak.
158
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:29,963
Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me.
It's a fucking alien overlord!
159
00:06:30,095 --> 00:06:31,756
It's okay.
Here.
160
00:06:31,888 --> 00:06:33,219
Oh, I misjudged.
161
00:06:33,348 --> 00:06:35,931
MORTY: "I am Floop Floopian.
Please kill me."
162
00:06:36,059 --> 00:06:36,924
That's right, Morty.
163
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,677
The Floop Floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
164
00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:42,054
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.
165
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,976
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.
166
00:06:44,109 --> 00:06:45,440
So you're gonna kill him?
167
00:06:45,568 --> 00:06:47,275
Eh, let's get some lunch first.
168
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:53,490
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or --
169
00:06:53,618 --> 00:06:55,154
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,
170
00:06:55,286 --> 00:06:56,526
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.
171
00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:58,074
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.
172
00:06:58,206 --> 00:07:00,698
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.
173
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,791
Your species has
an actual afterlife.
174
00:07:02,919 --> 00:07:05,081
-That's gotta be nice.
-Wh-What do you mean?
175
00:07:05,213 --> 00:07:07,875
Well, you know, here on Earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.
176
00:07:08,008 --> 00:07:10,045
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that --
177
00:07:10,176 --> 00:07:12,463
have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.
178
00:07:14,139 --> 00:07:17,507
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?
179
00:07:17,642 --> 00:07:20,100
Um, yeah, uh...
180
00:07:20,228 --> 00:07:24,187
Otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?
181
00:07:24,315 --> 00:07:26,306
[Clears throat]
182
00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:28,229
Wait, you don't...
183
00:07:29,446 --> 00:07:31,778
All right, so you want
to do this here or outside?
184
00:07:31,906 --> 00:07:33,112
[Weapon cocks, powers up]
185
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,902
Run!
186
00:07:35,035 --> 00:07:36,275
[Door slams open]
187
00:07:36,411 --> 00:07:37,697
I don't wanna die!
188
00:07:37,829 --> 00:07:39,365
[Horn honks]
189
00:07:40,457 --> 00:07:42,368
[Chanting]
190
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,787
Oh, God, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!
191
00:07:44,919 --> 00:07:46,409
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!
192
00:07:46,546 --> 00:07:48,412
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!
193
00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:51,131
Aah!
I blame you, I blame you!
194
00:07:51,259 --> 00:07:53,375
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!
195
00:07:53,511 --> 00:07:54,626
That was a ton of evidence!
196
00:07:54,763 --> 00:07:55,719
Well, silver lining.
197
00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:56,962
Now I know their
religion's real.
198
00:07:57,098 --> 00:07:58,839
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.
199
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,886
I noticed you never finished
your chimichanga,
200
00:08:01,019 --> 00:08:03,977
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.
201
00:08:04,105 --> 00:08:05,391
Holy shit!
202
00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,560
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?
203
00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:09,057
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many
204
00:08:09,194 --> 00:08:10,309
if I let myself learn from them!
205
00:08:10,445 --> 00:08:12,356
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, Morty.
206
00:08:12,489 --> 00:08:13,650
It's a freeform anthology.
207
00:08:13,782 --> 00:08:15,318
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.
208
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:17,407
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown
209
00:08:17,535 --> 00:08:21,620
countless times,
and not always by yourself.
210
00:08:21,748 --> 00:08:23,364
Ah, shit, I don't even --
211
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,740
This better not
have been a good one.
212
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:25,741
What is this?
213
00:08:25,877 --> 00:08:27,959
Great, "Booger AIDS,"
"AIDS Booger."
214
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:29,578
I gotta start using
real file names.
215
00:08:29,714 --> 00:08:31,296
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag
216
00:08:31,424 --> 00:08:35,668
of mind blowers I call
"Poop AIDS underscore copy."
217
00:08:35,804 --> 00:08:38,091
ALIEN WARLORD: I'm not
an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.
218
00:08:38,223 --> 00:08:40,339
I know children are everything
to a mammal.
219
00:08:40,475 --> 00:08:42,842
I will spare one of their lives.
220
00:08:42,977 --> 00:08:44,809
You simply have to choose.
221
00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:47,225
Summer!
Summer.
222
00:08:51,402 --> 00:08:52,358
You're not gonna believe this.
223
00:08:52,487 --> 00:08:54,069
I went to Phoebe
instead of Titan.
224
00:08:54,197 --> 00:08:56,484
It's, like, hello, Saturn,
after 10 moons,
225
00:08:56,616 --> 00:08:58,983
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?
226
00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:01,360
What's -- Wh-What's
with you assholes?
227
00:09:01,496 --> 00:09:03,407
Morty, please, don't do this.
228
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:04,701
[Evil laugh]
229
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:06,119
[Voice echoing]
Your Morty is gone!
230
00:09:06,251 --> 00:09:09,209
I am Voltamatron,
Destroyer of Worlds!
231
00:09:09,337 --> 00:09:11,624
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!
232
00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:13,747
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.
233
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:16,375
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.
234
00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:18,127
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, Morty.
235
00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:19,719
We all do.
You gotta fight this thing.
236
00:09:19,848 --> 00:09:21,259
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!
237
00:09:21,391 --> 00:09:23,723
Morty, it's Mom! We love you.
You have to fight it!
238
00:09:23,852 --> 00:09:26,310
Come on, Morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!
239
00:09:26,437 --> 00:09:27,347
-We love you!
-[Screaming]
240
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,686
SUMMER:
We love you so much!
241
00:09:28,815 --> 00:09:30,397
RICK: Yes, Morty, come on,
you're doing it!
242
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:33,062
You're doing it!
You're doing it!
243
00:09:33,194 --> 00:09:34,901
[Gagging, coughing]
244
00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:36,611
Should we pull it out?
245
00:09:36,739 --> 00:09:39,071
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving Morty!
246
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,157
We still love you.
247
00:09:41,286 --> 00:09:43,243
But I do have a thing at 6:00.
248
00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:44,782
Oh, God, do I have to
keep looking?
249
00:09:44,914 --> 00:09:47,076
Geez, Morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
250
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,415
-[Laughter]
-[Screaming]
251
00:09:49,544 --> 00:09:52,206
Don't! Oh. God, sorry, Morty.
I love you!
252
00:09:52,338 --> 00:09:53,328
[Whimpering]
253
00:09:53,464 --> 00:09:55,046
God, is there going to be
an intermission?
254
00:09:55,175 --> 00:09:57,837
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.
255
00:09:57,969 --> 00:09:59,585
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug
256
00:09:59,721 --> 00:10:01,462
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to --
257
00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:03,339
-[Screaming]
-Sorry!
258
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:06,341
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!
259
00:10:06,477 --> 00:10:07,842
So if the blue ones are my fault
260
00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:10,471
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?
261
00:10:10,607 --> 00:10:13,099
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, Morty!
262
00:10:13,234 --> 00:10:14,440
[Birds chirping]
263
00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,105
Ahh.
264
00:10:16,237 --> 00:10:18,604
Shit! We need to find shelter
before the sunset, Morty.
265
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:21,107
Venzenulon Nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!
266
00:10:21,242 --> 00:10:23,153
We'll freeze, Morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!
267
00:10:23,286 --> 00:10:25,368
I-I think I saw
a cave over there.
268
00:10:25,496 --> 00:10:26,577
You've seen
too many movies, Morty.
269
00:10:26,706 --> 00:10:29,448
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use Beebo.
270
00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:32,121
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!
271
00:10:32,253 --> 00:10:33,789
-He won't even feel it!
-Oh, no, no!
272
00:10:33,922 --> 00:10:36,459
[Beebo groans]
273
00:10:37,425 --> 00:10:39,211
You wanna die, Morty?
Get in Beebo!
274
00:10:39,344 --> 00:10:41,927
Oh, no, no!
275
00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:44,137
Brace for the ice limit.
276
00:10:44,265 --> 00:10:45,847
Here it comes!
277
00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:53,434
Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine
or Venzenulon Seven?
278
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,892
Wait a minute. Why would I ask
for that to be removed?
279
00:10:57,028 --> 00:10:58,689
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?
280
00:10:58,821 --> 00:11:01,358
Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but
I don't use color to sort things
281
00:11:01,491 --> 00:11:03,482
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.
282
00:11:03,618 --> 00:11:05,359
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?
283
00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:07,327
Liquor?
284
00:11:07,455 --> 00:11:09,366
[Ray guns blasting]
285
00:11:13,336 --> 00:11:14,576
[Both sigh]
286
00:11:14,712 --> 00:11:16,703
-Shit, that was close.
-We lost Captain Sky.
287
00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:18,329
He gave his life
for the uprising.
288
00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:20,628
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, Morty?
289
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,501
We should never take
things for granite.
290
00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:24,298
-What?
-I'm just saying. life's short.
291
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:25,795
We shouldn't take things
for granite.
292
00:11:25,932 --> 00:11:27,843
-Are you saying "granite"?
-Well, yeah.
293
00:11:27,976 --> 00:11:29,762
It's "granted," with a "D."
294
00:11:29,894 --> 00:11:32,636
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was --
295
00:11:32,772 --> 00:11:34,513
[Laughs]
Jesus Christ, Rick,
296
00:11:34,649 --> 00:11:36,765
what are you, a boulder --
a rock person?
297
00:11:36,901 --> 00:11:38,232
How long have you been
saying that wrong?
298
00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:39,351
Oh, you like that, huh?
299
00:11:39,487 --> 00:11:41,478
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.
300
00:11:41,614 --> 00:11:42,945
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.
301
00:11:43,074 --> 00:11:45,236
-You want me to erase it?
-What, you can do that?
302
00:11:45,368 --> 00:11:47,359
-[Buzzing]
-Ah, shit.
303
00:11:47,495 --> 00:11:49,736
I fucking knew it,
you piece of shit!
304
00:11:49,872 --> 00:11:52,239
You - You -
You're a fucking asshole. Rick!
305
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:54,082
Take it easy, Morty.
Come on. Just relax.
306
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:55,575
No, I'm not gonna fucking relax!
Come here!
307
00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:56,793
Let go of me, you little bitch!
308
00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:58,002
I'm gonna grab you
by the scruff of your --
309
00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,793
-Take that!
-Ohh!
310
00:12:00,925 --> 00:12:02,632
-Umm.
-Umm. Uhh.
311
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,171
-What --
-What's going on?
312
00:12:04,304 --> 00:12:05,294
-Where am I?
-Who are we?
313
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:08,388
-Who am I?
-I think I'm an adolescent boy.
314
00:12:08,516 --> 00:12:10,974
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.
315
00:12:11,102 --> 00:12:15,221
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.
316
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:17,893
-Yeah, umm...
-Don't look at me like that.
317
00:12:18,026 --> 00:12:20,484
For all we know, you could be
the fuckin' weirdo.
318
00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,566
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,
319
00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:26,440
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,
320
00:12:26,576 --> 00:12:29,284
my guess is that the technology
involves memory
321
00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:32,575
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...
322
00:12:32,707 --> 00:12:34,289
Tell us the code, jagoff!
323
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:35,782
[Speaking alien language]
324
00:12:35,918 --> 00:12:37,249
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.
325
00:12:37,378 --> 00:12:39,585
Rick, if we don't unlock
those vaccines, Earth dies!
326
00:12:39,714 --> 00:12:41,671
You know, it might be time
to step up your interrogation!
327
00:12:41,799 --> 00:12:43,039
Not sure what
you're implying, Morty,
328
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,837
but some lines I don't cross.
329
00:12:44,969 --> 00:12:46,585
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had
330
00:12:46,721 --> 00:12:49,133
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!
331
00:12:49,265 --> 00:12:51,176
[Speaking alien language]
332
00:12:51,309 --> 00:12:55,018
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, Morty?
333
00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:56,136
Grab 'em.
334
00:12:56,814 --> 00:12:58,475
You remember the codes now?
335
00:12:58,608 --> 00:13:01,600
-Twist!
-[Screaming]
336
00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:04,068
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, Morty!
337
00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:06,029
-Harder!
-[Screaming]
338
00:13:06,157 --> 00:13:08,364
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.
339
00:13:08,493 --> 00:13:09,779
[Speaking alien language]
340
00:13:09,911 --> 00:13:11,197
He wants to make a deal.
341
00:13:11,329 --> 00:13:13,616
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.
342
00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:15,534
But can we trust --
Wait, what?
343
00:13:15,666 --> 00:13:16,622
F-Finish what?
344
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:17,661
Y-You know.
345
00:13:17,794 --> 00:13:19,376
I thought I was torturing him!
346
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:20,869
Oh, and this disappoints you?
347
00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:22,541
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, Morty?
348
00:13:22,673 --> 00:13:23,959
Because if we can
kill our enemies
349
00:13:24,092 --> 00:13:27,084
but we can't jack them off, then
how are we better than them?
350
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,881
Well, what did you find out?
351
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:30,595
We're partners, I guess,
352
00:13:30,723 --> 00:13:33,340
and we fight aliens,
like "Men in Black"?
353
00:13:33,476 --> 00:13:35,058
"Men in Black," "Men in Black."
354
00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:36,597
I have "Men in Black 2" in here.
355
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:38,219
So -- So you get
the general idea.
356
00:13:38,356 --> 00:13:39,767
[Laughs]
Not quite.
357
00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:41,560
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to --
358
00:13:41,692 --> 00:13:44,810
All right, save it for YouTube.
I'll keep looking for clues.
359
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,065
What are you doing?
360
00:13:50,201 --> 00:13:51,487
You want your shelf
level or not?
361
00:13:51,619 --> 00:13:54,202
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?
362
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,365
Yes, see the bubble?
363
00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:57,080
I'm familiar with
the bubble, Morty.
364
00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:58,994
I also dabble in precision,
365
00:13:59,127 --> 00:14:01,038
and if you think
you can even approach it
366
00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:03,161
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball
367
00:14:03,297 --> 00:14:05,664
and a bubble of fucking air,
you're the reason this species
368
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,165
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!
369
00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:08,166
You're drunk.
370
00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:10,088
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.
371
00:14:10,221 --> 00:14:12,337
You want to experience
true level?
372
00:14:12,473 --> 00:14:15,090
-Do you?
-[Sighs dramatically] Y-yes.
373
00:14:21,149 --> 00:14:23,857
[Powering up]
374
00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:26,818
Ugh, all right, come on.
375
00:14:26,946 --> 00:14:28,482
[Sighs]
376
00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:34,993
Wow, it's so --
377
00:14:35,121 --> 00:14:39,240
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
378
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:41,742
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
379
00:14:41,878 --> 00:14:44,085
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.
380
00:14:44,213 --> 00:14:46,750
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!
381
00:14:46,883 --> 00:14:48,089
I want to go back!
I hate this!
382
00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:49,298
-What's his deal?
-Can't live like this!
383
00:14:49,427 --> 00:14:51,088
Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty,
Morty, Morty.
384
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,961
Go to school, Summer.
I'll go in Morty's memory
385
00:14:53,097 --> 00:14:54,508
and do a little --
[Clicks tongue]
386
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,881
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
387
00:14:57,018 --> 00:14:58,258
Well?
388
00:14:58,394 --> 00:15:01,603
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.
389
00:15:01,731 --> 00:15:03,642
-Why?
-Good question.
390
00:15:04,775 --> 00:15:07,392
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.
391
00:15:07,528 --> 00:15:09,769
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.
392
00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:10,771
The left.
393
00:15:10,907 --> 00:15:14,150
[Click, click, click]
394
00:15:18,122 --> 00:15:19,704
Okay, lights on.
395
00:15:19,832 --> 00:15:21,072
[Sighs]
396
00:15:21,209 --> 00:15:24,167
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?
397
00:15:24,295 --> 00:15:25,581
W-W-What do you mean?
398
00:15:25,713 --> 00:15:27,670
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained
399
00:15:27,798 --> 00:15:30,586
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right
400
00:15:30,718 --> 00:15:32,550
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping
401
00:15:32,678 --> 00:15:33,713
of the requested switch.
402
00:15:33,846 --> 00:15:36,508
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,
403
00:15:36,641 --> 00:15:39,599
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.
404
00:15:39,727 --> 00:15:41,513
Is my assessment accurate?
405
00:15:41,646 --> 00:15:44,980
Yeah, that's -- that's basically
how -- how it all shaked out.
406
00:15:45,107 --> 00:15:48,225
-I'm sorry.
-Ugh. All right, come on.
407
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:50,523
-What?!
-Come on!
408
00:15:56,911 --> 00:15:59,323
[High-pitched tone]
409
00:16:03,876 --> 00:16:06,208
-[Click, tone ends]
-Grab a shovel.
410
00:16:06,337 --> 00:16:07,452
W-What is -
411
00:16:07,588 --> 00:16:09,579
Grab a shovel!
412
00:16:10,925 --> 00:16:11,756
[Click]
413
00:16:11,884 --> 00:16:13,340
What was that?
414
00:16:16,305 --> 00:16:18,421
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!
415
00:16:18,558 --> 00:16:20,674
All right, fuck it!
416
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:22,300
[Beeping]
417
00:16:22,436 --> 00:16:25,098
[Magnetizing]
418
00:16:25,231 --> 00:16:26,938
Ahh, zip tie.
419
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,478
[Powering down]
420
00:16:31,946 --> 00:16:33,937
[Beeping]
421
00:16:34,073 --> 00:16:35,484
[Magnetizing]
422
00:16:35,616 --> 00:16:38,324
[Women screaming]
423
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:45,661
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
424
00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:48,160
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?
425
00:16:48,296 --> 00:16:49,536
Most humans!
426
00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:51,538
There, I'm done.
Just stay out of trouble!
427
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,336
Gotta keep moving.
Can't stop.
428
00:16:54,468 --> 00:16:56,505
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.
429
00:16:56,637 --> 00:16:58,093
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.
430
00:16:58,222 --> 00:16:59,758
The queen makes babies.
431
00:17:00,725 --> 00:17:02,261
MALE VOICE:
The situation in Argentina
432
00:17:02,393 --> 00:17:03,679
has proven less convenient
than predicted.
433
00:17:03,811 --> 00:17:06,052
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,
434
00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:08,475
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,
435
00:17:08,608 --> 00:17:10,565
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.
436
00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:11,558
MALE SQUIRREL:
Same as Guatemala?
437
00:17:11,694 --> 00:17:12,900
Yes, but you can double-time it.
438
00:17:13,029 --> 00:17:14,235
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope
439
00:17:14,363 --> 00:17:16,900
in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.
440
00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:19,491
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.
441
00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:21,405
They're set to agitate
any mo-- What?
442
00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:23,244
That kid is watching us.
443
00:17:23,372 --> 00:17:24,954
So, we're squirrels.
He's a kid.
444
00:17:25,082 --> 00:17:28,120
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.
445
00:17:28,252 --> 00:17:30,744
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.
446
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,463
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible Dolittle.
447
00:17:33,591 --> 00:17:36,424
Little boy! We'll give you
wishes if you can hear us!
448
00:17:36,552 --> 00:17:38,463
We can make you fly
and get candy.
449
00:17:38,596 --> 00:17:40,928
[Squirrels chittering]
450
00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:46,684
[Whistling]
451
00:17:46,812 --> 00:17:49,053
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
Fuck me! Fuck me!
452
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:51,522
[Panting] Rick!
453
00:17:51,651 --> 00:17:53,813
RICK: Ah, shit, Morty,
what did you do?
454
00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:56,606
[Powering up]
455
00:17:56,739 --> 00:17:58,571
-[Zap!]
-[Squirrels screeching]
456
00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:00,656
All right, Morty,
pack your shit!
457
00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:02,776
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, Morty!
458
00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:04,243
You fucked with
squirrels, Morty!
459
00:18:04,372 --> 00:18:05,578
We got a good five minutes
460
00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:07,492
before they're backing up
on our ass, Morty!
461
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,741
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, Morty!
462
00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:12,335
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!
463
00:18:12,463 --> 00:18:15,421
We're fucked over here because
of these damn squirrels, Morty!
464
00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:17,381
I don't know what
my reaction is,
465
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:20,093
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.
466
00:18:20,221 --> 00:18:22,508
-Well, what are you gonna do?
-I'm gonna remember everything!
467
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,471
Everything!
468
00:18:24,934 --> 00:18:26,641
-[Screams]
-[Laughs]
469
00:18:27,728 --> 00:18:28,468
[Screams]
470
00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:29,560
-[Farts]
-[Laughs]
471
00:18:32,525 --> 00:18:33,560
Yeah!
472
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:41,815
Ah!
473
00:18:45,204 --> 00:18:46,615
[Crying]
474
00:18:54,004 --> 00:18:55,540
Well, what'd you find out?
475
00:18:55,673 --> 00:18:57,835
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?
476
00:18:57,967 --> 00:19:00,800
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!
477
00:19:00,928 --> 00:19:02,589
All those memories just erased!
478
00:19:02,722 --> 00:19:04,304
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!
479
00:19:04,432 --> 00:19:07,220
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything
480
00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:10,013
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?
481
00:19:11,272 --> 00:19:12,387
All right, kid.
482
00:19:12,523 --> 00:19:14,389
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "Men in Black 2"
483
00:19:14,525 --> 00:19:17,643
was a joyless cash grab, but I
do know that whatever you have
484
00:19:17,778 --> 00:19:20,019
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.
485
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:21,146
I can't deny that,
486
00:19:21,282 --> 00:19:23,694
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.
487
00:19:23,826 --> 00:19:25,692
I want in.
Suicide pact!
488
00:19:25,828 --> 00:19:27,739
-[Ray gun powers up]
-Yes, yeah, let's do it!
489
00:19:27,872 --> 00:19:30,409
Together, you old
son of a bitch! On three!
490
00:19:31,792 --> 00:19:32,907
Two...
491
00:19:33,043 --> 00:19:36,081
You guys doing
Morty's Mind Blowers?
492
00:19:36,213 --> 00:19:37,920
Morty's Mind Blowers?
493
00:19:38,048 --> 00:19:40,335
[Sighs] Grandpa,
is this a scenario three?
494
00:19:40,468 --> 00:19:42,800
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?
495
00:19:42,928 --> 00:19:45,761
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.
496
00:19:51,645 --> 00:19:53,636
-[Spits]
-[Dart gun shooting]
497
00:20:02,865 --> 00:20:04,731
Ugh, fucking God damn it!
498
00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:06,653
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!
499
00:20:07,536 --> 00:20:10,745
There's a Craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.
500
00:20:10,873 --> 00:20:13,114
Whoa, what -- what --
501
00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:14,160
Can I help you?
502
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:17,001
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?
503
00:20:17,129 --> 00:20:18,745
-Yeah, what the hell, Summer?
-Summer, you dumb bitch!
504
00:20:18,881 --> 00:20:19,996
How long were we out,
you dumb bitch!
505
00:20:20,132 --> 00:20:21,042
How much interdimensional cable
did we miss, you stupid bitch!
506
00:20:21,175 --> 00:20:22,961
How many improv TV shows with
commercials did we miss, Summer?
507
00:20:23,093 --> 00:20:24,083
Why did you let us fall asleep?
508
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,460
-You dumb bitch!
-You stupid bitch!
509
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:26,802
All right, Morty,
fuck this noise.
510
00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:28,387
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic
511
00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:31,133
-Rick and Morty adventure.
-Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in.
512
00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:33,225
No wonder you're
constantly fighting
513
00:20:33,354 --> 00:20:34,936
with each other
and behind schedule.
514
00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:36,554
-What?
-Nothing.
515
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,727
[Rock music plays]
516
00:21:03,968 --> 00:21:05,333
Rick?
Hello?
517
00:21:05,469 --> 00:21:06,925
Just here for my putter.
518
00:21:07,054 --> 00:21:09,512
Jerry's Mind Blowers?
519
00:21:13,727 --> 00:21:14,808
Follow the boys!
520
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:21,607
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha Centauri,
521
00:21:21,735 --> 00:21:23,601
ready for transport.
522
00:21:23,737 --> 00:21:26,024
They fell for it!
Let's send Gobo home!
523
00:21:26,156 --> 00:21:27,521
-[Laughter]
-All right!
524
00:21:27,658 --> 00:21:29,615
-Where's Dad?
-He should be here any second.
525
00:21:29,743 --> 00:21:31,484
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,
526
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:33,782
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him
527
00:21:33,914 --> 00:21:35,200
saved an alien's life.
528
00:21:35,332 --> 00:21:37,039
He knows where to go, right?
529
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,953
Yep, any minute now.
530
00:21:39,086 --> 00:21:41,202
[Music playing]
531
00:21:43,257 --> 00:21:45,123
Did it work?
Did you guys get Gobo home?
532
00:21:45,259 --> 00:21:47,500
You have Gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!
533
00:21:47,636 --> 00:21:49,218
As if.
He was in your basket
534
00:21:49,346 --> 00:21:50,928
He was in your car!
535
00:21:51,056 --> 00:21:53,673
[Chewing]
536
00:21:55,728 --> 00:21:56,638
Oh!
537
00:21:56,770 --> 00:21:58,681
Oof!
Dibs on his stuff.