1 00:00:02,666 --> 00:00:03,531 NEWS ANCHOR: In local news, 2 00:00:03,667 --> 00:00:05,078 child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip 3 00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:06,996 is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection, 4 00:00:07,129 --> 00:00:09,621 his execution already drawing dozens more spectators 5 00:00:09,756 --> 00:00:11,417 than the death of TV news. Cane? 6 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,882 CARLA JOHNSON: The man that once ate his own son... 7 00:00:14,011 --> 00:00:16,799 Wow. He's really getting executed after all this time. 8 00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,170 You know the son that he ate was -- 9 00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:19,172 Your best friend -- Tommy. 10 00:00:19,308 --> 00:00:20,844 We know. Stop true-crime bragging. 11 00:00:20,976 --> 00:00:22,387 I was traumatized, Summer. 12 00:00:22,519 --> 00:00:23,725 Okay, your generation wouldn't get that. 13 00:00:23,854 --> 00:00:26,516 Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast. 14 00:00:26,648 --> 00:00:29,140 It took years of therapy to even process the reality. 15 00:00:29,276 --> 00:00:30,562 I mean, when I was a kid, 16 00:00:30,694 --> 00:00:32,685 I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost 17 00:00:32,821 --> 00:00:34,983 in the magical realm of Froopyland. 18 00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:36,947 -"Froopyland?" -My make-believe world. 19 00:00:37,075 --> 00:00:39,487 I know the name's stupid, but it was so real to me. 20 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:40,951 Aren't you guys supposed to be at your father's 21 00:00:41,079 --> 00:00:42,240 for custody weekend? 22 00:00:42,372 --> 00:00:44,363 We're not in a hurry. Dad sleeps until sundown. 23 00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:45,864 Can we talk a little bit more about this Froopy-- 24 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:47,207 -[Zap, bloop] -SUMMER: Not the bubble gun! 25 00:00:47,336 --> 00:00:49,373 -There's no air -- -[Zap, bloop] 26 00:00:50,339 --> 00:00:52,922 I gotta say, I am warming up to the bubble gun. 27 00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:54,290 You know, if you're so great at naming things, 28 00:00:54,426 --> 00:00:55,712 why don't you do it from now on? 29 00:00:55,844 --> 00:00:57,050 -What? -Froopyland. 30 00:00:57,179 --> 00:00:59,090 Was it my best work? I don't know. 31 00:00:59,222 --> 00:01:01,088 Does it deserve to be shit on creatively? 32 00:01:01,224 --> 00:01:02,089 Yeah, that's right. 33 00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:04,011 I agree with your look of horrified realization. 34 00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:06,556 You can be very inconsiderate sometimes. 35 00:01:06,688 --> 00:01:07,803 -[Rattling] -[Grunting] 36 00:01:07,939 --> 00:01:08,804 Here it is. 37 00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:10,601 You know, I collapsed a quantum tesseract to -- 38 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:11,690 Dad, I don't care how you made it. 39 00:01:11,818 --> 00:01:13,400 I want to know if Tommy's still in there! 40 00:01:13,528 --> 00:01:14,859 -Relax, Beth. -[Jingling, crackling] 41 00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:16,478 If he is, we'll find him. 42 00:01:16,615 --> 00:01:18,151 He'll be the only sun-bleached skeleton 43 00:01:18,283 --> 00:01:20,024 with non-imaginary DNA. 44 00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:22,902 [Dramatic music plays] 45 00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:54,975 Tommy! 46 00:01:55,112 --> 00:01:55,977 This is a nightmare. 47 00:01:56,113 --> 00:01:57,353 I can't believe you used to lock me up 48 00:01:57,489 --> 00:01:59,025 in this glorified chicken coop. 49 00:01:59,157 --> 00:02:00,192 Chicken coop? 50 00:02:00,325 --> 00:02:02,362 Those are procedurally generated clouds, Beth. 51 00:02:02,494 --> 00:02:04,405 That river is a rainbow. Literally. 52 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:06,529 Come on, I-I-I put real elbow grease into this place. 53 00:02:06,665 --> 00:02:08,656 Well, you're supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter! 54 00:02:08,792 --> 00:02:10,624 -Gross. -Do you think something ate him? 55 00:02:10,752 --> 00:02:12,868 Nope. Froopyland creatures were designed to be harmless. 56 00:02:13,004 --> 00:02:14,494 He definitely just starved to death. 57 00:02:14,631 --> 00:02:16,213 I could have been the one who starved to death in here. 58 00:02:16,341 --> 00:02:17,297 What if I'd gotten hurt? 59 00:02:17,426 --> 00:02:19,133 God, you're right. I'm a terrible dad. 60 00:02:19,261 --> 00:02:20,467 Well, nothing to live for. 61 00:02:20,595 --> 00:02:22,336 -Goodbye, cruel world! -Dad! 62 00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:24,304 -[Thump] -Oh, how do you like that? 63 00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:27,175 What kind of merciless creator makes the ground bouncy? 64 00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,472 I'm gonna have to drown myself. 65 00:02:29,604 --> 00:02:30,139 -[Thump] -Unh! 66 00:02:30,272 --> 00:02:32,354 Oh, no. Oh, the water's breathable? 67 00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:33,472 Who went and did that? 68 00:02:33,608 --> 00:02:34,518 Oh, whatever. 69 00:02:34,651 --> 00:02:35,516 Yeah, whatever. 70 00:02:35,652 --> 00:02:37,609 A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2, 71 00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,024 and it breaks the front page of Reddit, 72 00:02:39,156 --> 00:02:40,988 but I'm Charles Manson because I gave you 73 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,527 your own world instead of an iPad. 74 00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,366 I think the words you're looking for are -- Aah! 75 00:02:44,494 --> 00:02:46,576 Holy fuck! Shit! This thing has claws! 76 00:02:46,705 --> 00:02:48,616 Yeah, I get it. It's a childproof world. 77 00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:50,990 No, no, seriously, this hurts really bad! 78 00:02:51,126 --> 00:02:53,037 This thing is sinking razor-sharp claws in -- 79 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,456 Aah! Shit! 80 00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:57,046 -You've made your point, Dad. -[Screeches] 81 00:02:57,174 --> 00:02:58,084 Dad? 82 00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,331 Wop, POM 83 00:02:59,468 --> 00:03:02,756 -Ugh! -[Both panting] 84 00:03:02,888 --> 00:03:05,676 Whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing? 85 00:03:05,807 --> 00:03:07,844 I think it's supposed to help prevent abandonment issues. 86 00:03:07,976 --> 00:03:09,137 I want to be abandoned. 87 00:03:09,269 --> 00:03:10,725 -Yeah, I'm talking about Dad. -[Door opens] 88 00:03:10,854 --> 00:03:12,515 Bienvenue a la Chez Divorced Dad. 89 00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:13,853 Wow, Dad. 90 00:03:13,982 --> 00:03:16,314 Your place looks way less like a crackhouse. 91 00:03:16,443 --> 00:03:19,026 It's actually clean, like a cocaine house. 92 00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:20,235 Dad, what's going on? 93 00:03:20,363 --> 00:03:22,274 I'm simply centered, activated -- 94 00:03:22,407 --> 00:03:23,488 -[Glass clinks] -[Warble] 95 00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:25,528 -And telekinetic? -Pretty cool, huh? 96 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,651 Check it out. Who wants a smoothie? 97 00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:28,994 [Rattle] 98 00:03:29,122 --> 00:03:30,237 [Blender whirring] 99 00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:31,738 Oh -- Oh no. Uh, oh, God. 100 00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:32,785 Summer -- Summer, can you -- 101 00:03:32,918 --> 00:03:34,033 -Aah! -Sorry. 102 00:03:34,169 --> 00:03:36,501 You have much to learn, my Uloo. 103 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:39,748 Morty, Summer, this is Kiara. 104 00:03:39,883 --> 00:03:43,046 She's a Krootabulan warrior priestess from Krootabulon. 105 00:03:43,178 --> 00:03:45,044 I-I know where Krootabulans are from, Dad. 106 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,295 Uh, Chaimuntolo. 107 00:03:46,431 --> 00:03:47,546 Chaimuntolo, younglings. 108 00:03:47,682 --> 00:03:49,468 Hymen...cholo. 109 00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,217 Your father's mind holds love for you. 110 00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:53,139 I am humbled to meet in physicality. 111 00:03:53,271 --> 00:03:54,477 Dad, are you - 112 00:03:54,606 --> 00:03:57,394 In love with a badass, sexy alien lady? 113 00:03:57,526 --> 00:03:59,642 Ha, ha, I don't know, Summer. You tell me. 114 00:03:59,778 --> 00:04:01,439 I wasn't going to ask if you were in love 115 00:04:01,571 --> 00:04:02,686 since you barely know her. 116 00:04:02,823 --> 00:04:05,690 Summer. Kiara and I met on that interstellar dating service 117 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:08,033 Rick was always suggesting when your mom and I were together. 118 00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:10,493 And things just kind of clicked. 119 00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:11,487 We must move! 120 00:04:11,623 --> 00:04:13,489 Our reservation is at 7:00. 121 00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,332 -[Whoosh] -I hate to see her leave, 122 00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:18,327 but I love to watch her phase shift away. 123 00:04:18,463 --> 00:04:20,295 I'm sure you noticed what she has three of, 124 00:04:20,423 --> 00:04:22,664 but guess what she has two of. 125 00:04:24,594 --> 00:04:26,050 -[Screeches] -Aah! 126 00:04:26,179 --> 00:04:27,169 Oof! 127 00:04:27,305 --> 00:04:28,466 All right, knock it off! 128 00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:29,884 Listen, I've been giving you a pass 129 00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,223 because I'm charmed that life finds a way, but -- 130 00:04:32,352 --> 00:04:33,763 Aah! All right, you know what? 131 00:04:33,895 --> 00:04:36,307 -[Ray gun fires] -Ouch! 132 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:37,804 Oh! Unh! 133 00:04:37,941 --> 00:04:39,682 Ouch! God! 134 00:04:39,818 --> 00:04:41,308 -[Sizzling] -Aah! 135 00:04:41,444 --> 00:04:43,060 Agh! 136 00:04:43,196 --> 00:04:44,231 [Arm clicks] 137 00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:45,980 Oh, yeah, this place is the safest. 138 00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:47,277 Best dad ever. 139 00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:49,696 Can't you just say, "I admit it, I screwed up"? 140 00:04:49,828 --> 00:04:50,989 Uh, what would be the point of that? 141 00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:52,327 [Chuckling] You can't do it, can you? 142 00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:54,617 You can't just fucking apologize. 143 00:04:54,749 --> 00:04:56,786 Okay, okay, Beth, I'm sorry... 144 00:04:56,918 --> 00:04:58,875 you think you deserve an apology. 145 00:04:59,004 --> 00:05:00,836 -[Screeches] -Hey, don't look at me. 146 00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:02,420 You let your kid roll around on the floor of a target, 147 00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:03,664 it's gonna get stepped on. 148 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,835 [Screeches] 149 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,835 [Whir, zap] 150 00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:10,087 Huh. Well, here's the problem right here. 151 00:05:10,223 --> 00:05:12,339 We've got a bunch of Froopyland procedural carbons 152 00:05:12,475 --> 00:05:15,217 all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA. 153 00:05:15,353 --> 00:05:16,434 Are you saying Tommy survived here 154 00:05:16,563 --> 00:05:17,849 by having sex with Froopy creatures, 155 00:05:17,981 --> 00:05:19,312 creating Froopy-human hybrid offspring, 156 00:05:19,441 --> 00:05:20,681 and then consuming their proteins, 157 00:05:20,817 --> 00:05:22,148 sustaining himself with an endless cycle 158 00:05:22,277 --> 00:05:23,187 of cannibalistic incest? 159 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:24,230 It's just a working theory. 160 00:05:24,362 --> 00:05:25,227 Of course, if that's the case, 161 00:05:25,363 --> 00:05:26,979 I expect he'd be worshiped as a kind of god 162 00:05:27,115 --> 00:05:29,573 by a medieval-level society of his least-delicious children. 163 00:05:29,701 --> 00:05:32,159 Halt! You are now prisoners of our exalted ruler, 164 00:05:32,287 --> 00:05:33,448 giver and taker of life, 165 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:35,366 humper and consumer of mortality, 166 00:05:35,498 --> 00:05:36,738 -dispenser of life -- -Yes, if I could interrupt? 167 00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:37,990 We're way ahead of the reveal here. 168 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,491 Yeah, just take us to King Tommy. 169 00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:41,289 I thought warrior priestesses 170 00:05:41,421 --> 00:05:43,082 could only leave Krootabulon on a hunt. 171 00:05:43,214 --> 00:05:44,249 Mmm. Thank you, sweetie. 172 00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:46,419 I hope it's not human season. 173 00:05:46,551 --> 00:05:50,044 I'm on Earth hunting the Varrix. I would never hunt a human. 174 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:52,171 Your father and I are soul-bonded. 175 00:05:52,307 --> 00:05:53,468 Sam-bonded? 176 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,056 Um, does your planet have shorter days, 177 00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,096 because you guys are moving kind of fast, no? 178 00:05:57,228 --> 00:05:58,684 [Sniffing] 179 00:05:58,813 --> 00:06:01,771 [Dramatic music plays] 180 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:02,810 [Whoosh] 181 00:06:02,943 --> 00:06:03,933 Go get him, honey! 182 00:06:04,069 --> 00:06:06,151 She's always hunting. [Chuckles] 183 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,735 She probably knew a Varrix worked here, 184 00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:10,231 and that's why she said the Yelp reviews didn't matter. 185 00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:11,402 Dad, do you understand 186 00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:13,775 how serious Krootabulon soul-bonding is? 187 00:06:13,912 --> 00:06:17,371 Uh, gee, Morty, I don't know. It's got such a casual name. 188 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:18,830 If you want to lecture anyone about commitment, 189 00:06:18,959 --> 00:06:20,074 start with your mom. 190 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,577 Oh, my God. Dad, is that what this is about? 191 00:06:22,712 --> 00:06:24,749 Are you rushing into a new thing to get back at Mom? 192 00:06:24,881 --> 00:06:27,043 Every weekend, you two have told me to move on. 193 00:06:27,175 --> 00:06:28,665 Move on, like, out of bed. 194 00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:30,759 Like, stop using paper towels for toilet paper, 195 00:06:30,887 --> 00:06:33,049 not move on into a sloppy rebound. 196 00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:35,718 Dad, you need to slow down, rethink this soul bond. 197 00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:37,887 Why don't you just say what you really mean? 198 00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:39,225 You think it's cool 199 00:06:39,354 --> 00:06:41,061 that having sex with her gives me telekinesis 200 00:06:41,189 --> 00:06:43,180 and you recognize she's got a hot bod 201 00:06:43,316 --> 00:06:46,229 like Cheetara in "Thundercats," but you're grossed out 202 00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:48,853 by her avocado-shaped head and blue skin, 203 00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:51,606 and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head. 204 00:06:52,909 --> 00:06:54,491 After all the time and energy I spent 205 00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:55,905 teaching you two about race... 206 00:06:56,037 --> 00:06:57,573 -[Varrix screams] -...you ended up racist. 207 00:06:57,706 --> 00:06:58,411 [Whoosh] 208 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,577 Soon your world will be rid of Varrix. 209 00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,541 Tomorrow, we celebrate. 210 00:07:02,669 --> 00:07:04,034 We could take the kids to the water park. 211 00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:06,036 We celebrate with a hunt! 212 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:08,083 Ooh. You kids want to hunt? 213 00:07:08,216 --> 00:07:09,126 -Yes. -Yes. 214 00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:10,875 [Trumpet fanfare plays] 215 00:07:11,011 --> 00:07:13,673 All kneel for King Tommy! 216 00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:15,929 I'm not kneeling. Suck my dick. 217 00:07:16,057 --> 00:07:17,968 Well, hello, all! 218 00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:20,263 I am the King of Froopyland, 219 00:07:20,395 --> 00:07:22,807 but I go by another name, too. 220 00:07:22,939 --> 00:07:24,976 -We know. -It's Tommy! 221 00:07:25,108 --> 00:07:25,973 -We know. -We know. 222 00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:29,147 I have lived here since I was a mere child. 223 00:07:29,279 --> 00:07:30,269 -We know. -Got it. 224 00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:33,943 I suppose you're wondering, how do I sustain myself? 225 00:07:34,075 --> 00:07:34,985 -Oh, boy. -No, we aren't. 226 00:07:35,118 --> 00:07:39,453 I always find the theater is the best way to clarify things. 227 00:07:39,581 --> 00:07:40,491 -Ugh. -Seriously? 228 00:07:40,623 --> 00:07:42,489 -Oh, my God. -TOMMY: Players, go! 229 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,081 I am little Tommy. 230 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,245 [Crowd cheers] 231 00:07:45,378 --> 00:07:47,119 I am tiny Beth. 232 00:07:47,255 --> 00:07:48,837 [Crowd boos] 233 00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:49,875 Oh, come on. 234 00:07:50,008 --> 00:07:51,794 Come with me to my magic world. 235 00:07:51,926 --> 00:07:52,836 FROOPY: Don't do it! 236 00:07:52,969 --> 00:07:57,179 This is my secret Froopyland where I have no rules! 237 00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:58,797 I am excited. 238 00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:02,847 I am jealous of Tommy's friends and his Nintendo 239 00:08:02,979 --> 00:08:04,970 and his dad who likes him. 240 00:08:05,106 --> 00:08:07,222 I take it Tommy wasn't class playwright. 241 00:08:07,358 --> 00:08:09,144 Do you want to see the Honey Swamp? 242 00:08:09,277 --> 00:08:11,314 Yes! Let's do it! 243 00:08:11,446 --> 00:08:13,437 Well, I want to see you dead. 244 00:08:13,573 --> 00:08:15,439 Ow, help! I'm stuck! 245 00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:16,986 I'm covered in honey. 246 00:08:17,118 --> 00:08:18,529 Huh. Well, that's interesting. 247 00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:19,867 Fake news. 248 00:08:19,996 --> 00:08:24,365 Many nights have passed, trapped in this strange land. 249 00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:29,541 I am hungry, and all I can do to pass the time is hump. 250 00:08:29,672 --> 00:08:32,255 I will hump this rock. 251 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,092 I will hump this tree. 252 00:08:36,554 --> 00:08:38,921 I will hump this beast of the land 253 00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:40,889 and put my seed in it. 254 00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:45,682 I am the first of Tommy's children. 255 00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:49,352 Eat of my flesh so you may survive. 256 00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:51,942 And so I did. 257 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:54,903 Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. 258 00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:57,238 Certified fresh. Good -- Good job. 259 00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,984 Perhaps a demonstration is in order. [Unzips shorts] 260 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,327 No, that is the last thing that is in order! 261 00:09:02,455 --> 00:09:03,741 -Oh, my God. -Poor Froopy character. 262 00:09:03,873 --> 00:09:05,580 -Leave him alone. -[Shorts zip] 263 00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,699 -Ahh. Gather 'round, gang! -[Moos] 264 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,043 -Dinner time. -[Splorch] 265 00:09:10,171 --> 00:09:12,913 All right, that's it. I'm outta here. 266 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:14,665 What are you doing? 267 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:15,916 We're in the middle of an adventure. 268 00:09:16,052 --> 00:09:17,668 Here's some things an adventure needs, Beth. 269 00:09:17,804 --> 00:09:19,795 Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit, 270 00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:21,217 and, clearly, Morty. 271 00:09:21,349 --> 00:09:22,714 But Tommy's still in there, 272 00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:24,558 raping Muppets and eating babies. 273 00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:26,097 Yep. Luckily, that's not our problem. 274 00:09:26,229 --> 00:09:27,219 Time to pull the plug. 275 00:09:27,355 --> 00:09:28,561 Pull the plug? 276 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,226 We have to get Tommy out of there, okay? 277 00:09:30,358 --> 00:09:31,644 We -- We need to do the right thing. 278 00:09:31,776 --> 00:09:33,016 Do what you never did as a dad -- 279 00:09:33,153 --> 00:09:34,518 Put in a little effort. 280 00:09:34,654 --> 00:09:35,644 All right, cut the high-road routine. 281 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,270 We both saw Tommy's shitty play. 282 00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:38,897 You pushed him in the Honey Swamp, Beth. 283 00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:40,899 His very happy life is in your hands. 284 00:09:41,035 --> 00:09:42,275 You go save him from it. 285 00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:44,744 [Scoffs] You're gonna believe a play over your own daughter? 286 00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:47,160 Yes, I am, Beth, because you're not my own daughter. 287 00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:49,454 Oh, God, yes. I'm one of infinite Beths 288 00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:51,452 with infinite fathers in infinite universes. 289 00:09:51,588 --> 00:09:53,295 It's called a hug, Dad. It won't kill you. 290 00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:54,413 Yeah, don't be so sure. 291 00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:55,880 You know why all Ricks made a Froopyland 292 00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:57,090 for all their little girls? 293 00:09:57,218 --> 00:09:58,333 Same reason I wasn't surprised 294 00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:00,130 by Tommy's overwritten, badly structured, 295 00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:01,628 cheaply produced flashback. 296 00:10:01,764 --> 00:10:03,755 You were a scary fucking kid, man. 297 00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:05,098 [Scoffing] Oh, my God. 298 00:10:05,226 --> 00:10:06,967 I didn't make Froopyland to get rid of you, Beth. 299 00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:08,685 I did it to protect the neighborhood. 300 00:10:08,813 --> 00:10:10,303 Not in a [burps] noble sense. 301 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,022 It was just more practical to sequester you 302 00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,517 before I had to start, you know, cloning a replacement 303 00:10:14,652 --> 00:10:16,939 for every less-than-polite little boy or gullible animal 304 00:10:17,071 --> 00:10:18,687 that might cross your some-path. 305 00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:20,689 You would rather believe I'm evil 306 00:10:20,825 --> 00:10:22,441 than admit that you were a bad father? 307 00:10:22,577 --> 00:10:23,487 Oh, dude, no. 308 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,406 No, bad father all the way to the max over here. 309 00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:26,778 I'm a fucking nutcase. 310 00:10:26,915 --> 00:10:28,747 And the acorn plopped straight down, baby. 311 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:29,956 Look at some of the shit 312 00:10:30,084 --> 00:10:31,449 you were asking me to make you as a kid. 313 00:10:31,586 --> 00:10:32,747 Ray guns. 314 00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,495 A whip that forces people to like you. 315 00:10:34,631 --> 00:10:38,420 Invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun, 316 00:10:38,551 --> 00:10:41,009 a teddy bear with anatomically correct innards, 317 00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:44,801 night-vision googly-eye glasses, sound-erasing sneakers, 318 00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:48,016 false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts, 319 00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:51,603 a lie-detecting doll, an indestructible baseball bat, 320 00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:55,349 a Taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge, 321 00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:58,728 location-tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape, 322 00:10:58,863 --> 00:11:02,527 mind-control hair clips, poison gum, 323 00:11:02,659 --> 00:11:04,491 a pink, sentient switchblade. 324 00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:06,075 Hi, Beth. You've gotten taller. 325 00:11:06,204 --> 00:11:07,319 Shall we resume stabbing? 326 00:11:07,455 --> 00:11:08,490 Has it occurred to you 327 00:11:08,623 --> 00:11:09,784 that I asked you to make those things 328 00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:11,623 because I wanted you to spend time with me? 329 00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:14,209 Has it occurred to you that if I did try killing Tommy, 330 00:11:14,337 --> 00:11:16,499 it might be because I was jealous of his family? 331 00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:17,416 Wait, what? Why? 332 00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:19,164 Wasn't his dad, like, some kind of cannibal? 333 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,665 Seems like it must be hereditary. 334 00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:22,167 Oh, my God. This is your fault. 335 00:11:22,303 --> 00:11:23,714 I am not a bad person. 336 00:11:23,846 --> 00:11:24,961 I'm gonna go back in there. 337 00:11:25,098 --> 00:11:27,214 I'm getting Tommy, and I'm fixing this! 338 00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:30,888 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 339 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,351 I don't know why I just said that. 340 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,812 Doesn't make a lot of sense, but gotta stand by it. 341 00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:37,273 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 342 00:11:37,402 --> 00:11:38,563 I'm owning it. 343 00:11:40,571 --> 00:11:42,278 [Ax swings] 344 00:11:42,407 --> 00:11:45,365 MORTY: No, Dad! You're not doing it right! 345 00:11:45,493 --> 00:11:47,404 Cutting off their heads isn't doing it right? 346 00:11:47,537 --> 00:11:49,699 They're [grunts] clearly regenerative! 347 00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:52,289 I-I think you have to stab them through the heart or something. 348 00:11:52,417 --> 00:11:53,373 You think or you know? 349 00:11:53,501 --> 00:11:56,038 I thought you were the alien expert, Isaac Asi-hole. 350 00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,877 Don't snap at me! I'm tired! 351 00:11:58,006 --> 00:11:59,588 -Me, too! -We're all tired! 352 00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:01,423 [Ax swings] 353 00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,087 -[Whoosh] -[Grunts] 354 00:12:03,219 --> 00:12:04,630 That's the last of them. 355 00:12:04,762 --> 00:12:06,173 Tonight, we celebrate. 356 00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:07,296 With a hunt? 357 00:12:07,432 --> 00:12:10,720 Yes, for tomorrow, we hunt. 358 00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:16,680 -[Rain trickling] -[Clears throat] 359 00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:22,069 I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond. 360 00:12:22,196 --> 00:12:23,686 -What the fuck, Dad? -Oh, my God! Duh! 361 00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:24,733 -Obviously! -Yeah, no kidding! 362 00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:26,573 -Can you guys help me? -What? How? 363 00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:29,033 Can I just, uh, tell her it's because of my kids? 364 00:12:29,162 --> 00:12:31,574 You know, like, you don't like the shape of her head, or -- 365 00:12:31,706 --> 00:12:33,697 That's you, Dad! That's you! 366 00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:35,574 You're a baby and an idiot! 367 00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,826 I think that's been established, Summer. Now help me! 368 00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:39,202 First, I want you to admit 369 00:12:39,339 --> 00:12:41,751 that you're a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, 370 00:12:41,883 --> 00:12:43,840 and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation 371 00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:45,254 by only thinking of yourself. 372 00:12:45,386 --> 00:12:46,251 Okay. 373 00:12:46,387 --> 00:12:48,003 I want to hear you say it. 374 00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:50,050 [Sighs deeply] 375 00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:53,892 Look, I'm a closeted racist, and I'm sexist and selfish, 376 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,012 and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things 377 00:12:57,148 --> 00:12:58,730 -because I'm stupid. -Thank you. 378 00:12:58,858 --> 00:12:59,973 Now you're gonna help me, right? 379 00:13:00,109 --> 00:13:02,601 -She just did. -Yeah, clean up your own mess. 380 00:13:02,737 --> 00:13:04,023 Wait, wait, what? 381 00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:06,192 Oh, man. 382 00:13:06,324 --> 00:13:08,156 -[Trumpet fanfare plays] -TOMMY: All right, everybody. 383 00:13:08,284 --> 00:13:09,445 Next item on the docket -- 384 00:13:09,577 --> 00:13:11,614 I would like to have sex with some of you 385 00:13:11,746 --> 00:13:14,329 -and then eat the babies. -[Froopys murmuring] 386 00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:15,413 I thought you'd like that. 387 00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:17,532 I do keep rolling out the hits, don't I? 388 00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:18,624 [Bang] 389 00:13:18,753 --> 00:13:21,461 Oh! It's the Magic Crayon Lady! 390 00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:24,001 Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. 391 00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:25,623 And by "make dinner," I mean - 392 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,377 Tommy, I'm going to take you to the real world. 393 00:13:28,513 --> 00:13:29,969 Well, this is the real world. 394 00:13:30,098 --> 00:13:31,509 No, you don't understand! Your dad -- 395 00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:33,302 Uh, people think your dad ate you! 396 00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:35,095 So? You day-ow! 397 00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:36,468 People should eat people. 398 00:13:36,604 --> 00:13:38,015 Just leave me alone! 399 00:13:38,147 --> 00:13:39,478 Tommy, you don't understand. 400 00:13:39,607 --> 00:13:40,847 I have to make this right 401 00:13:40,983 --> 00:13:42,894 because it's my fault that you're in here. 402 00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:45,109 -I'm Beth. -[All gasp] 403 00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:46,979 Beth? The destroyer! 404 00:13:47,115 --> 00:13:48,981 Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest. 405 00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:50,198 You fell into some honey. 406 00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:53,569 Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey. 407 00:13:53,704 --> 00:13:56,992 I respect your right to believe I pushed you. 408 00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:58,832 Oh, do I get to have that? 409 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,951 Is my reality like a little side of fries -- 410 00:14:01,087 --> 00:14:03,499 a little Kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way? 411 00:14:03,631 --> 00:14:06,464 Yes, because I'm focused on saving your father's life 412 00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:08,174 because I'm not a petty piece of shit. 413 00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:10,293 So, then, it should be pretty easy 414 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:12,421 to say, "Sorry I pushed you." 415 00:14:12,557 --> 00:14:13,922 Real easy and not necessary, 416 00:14:14,058 --> 00:14:15,594 since you coming home will save your dad's life 417 00:14:15,726 --> 00:14:16,841 whereas nothing is changed 418 00:14:16,978 --> 00:14:18,935 by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego. 419 00:14:19,063 --> 00:14:19,723 Sorry, forgive me. 420 00:14:19,856 --> 00:14:21,688 Uh, I've been in Froopyland for quite a while. 421 00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:23,352 Have apologies changed? 422 00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:25,976 Tommy, I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology. 423 00:14:26,112 --> 00:14:27,273 Oh, my God. I'm my father. 424 00:14:27,405 --> 00:14:30,067 Uh, will someone just kill this B-word? 425 00:14:30,199 --> 00:14:31,405 [Froopys muttering threateningly] 426 00:14:31,534 --> 00:14:32,695 [Grunts] Hi-ya! 427 00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:35,114 Oh, my God. I'm my father! 428 00:14:35,246 --> 00:14:36,407 -Yal -Ooh! Froopy! 429 00:14:36,539 --> 00:14:37,654 [Screams] 430 00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,747 -SWITCHBLADE: Born to stab! -TOGETHER: Ooh! 431 00:14:40,918 --> 00:14:43,376 And that's why one pussy plus two pussies 432 00:14:43,504 --> 00:14:45,245 makes a bunch of pussies. 433 00:14:46,132 --> 00:14:47,372 Come on, y'all, I'm trying to make this 434 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:49,340 appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles. 435 00:14:49,469 --> 00:14:51,927 Hi. I need to pull Morty out of school. Come on, Morty. 436 00:14:52,054 --> 00:14:53,795 Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty. 437 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,342 You have to leave school. 438 00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:56,965 Wait, what are my values? 439 00:14:57,101 --> 00:14:58,683 -Dad, what's going on? -We're going to Alaska. 440 00:14:58,811 --> 00:15:00,518 -What? Why? -It's nice there. 441 00:15:00,646 --> 00:15:02,637 Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn't take it well, 442 00:15:02,773 --> 00:15:03,934 and she wants to murder you two. 443 00:15:04,066 --> 00:15:05,682 What? Th-Then why are we walking? 444 00:15:05,818 --> 00:15:06,899 I'm walking because I'm tired. 445 00:15:07,028 --> 00:15:08,143 You guys should definitely run. 446 00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:10,111 -[Whoosh] -[Screams] 447 00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:12,150 -[Thud] -Excuse me, I just - 448 00:15:12,283 --> 00:15:14,149 You know what? I'm -- I'm just gonna go left. 449 00:15:14,285 --> 00:15:15,867 No, okay, your left, that's fine. 450 00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:18,953 Do you know what left is, 'cause -- Ugh! 451 00:15:19,081 --> 00:15:21,243 What does your breakup have to do with us? 452 00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:22,991 Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. 453 00:15:23,127 --> 00:15:24,743 I thought we made that clear at the lawyer's office 454 00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:27,211 and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook. 455 00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,081 -[Crash] -[Tires squeal] 456 00:15:29,217 --> 00:15:30,958 She kind of blames you guys for the breakup. 457 00:15:31,093 --> 00:15:31,958 -Why? -Why? 458 00:15:32,094 --> 00:15:33,676 Because I told her it was your fault. 459 00:15:33,804 --> 00:15:34,589 -What?! -What?! 460 00:15:34,722 --> 00:15:36,588 Look, I'm not an evil person. 461 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,556 I'm just not very imaginative! 462 00:15:38,684 --> 00:15:40,766 [Warbling] 463 00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:43,307 -[Grunts] -[Metal twisting] 464 00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:45,476 -Oh! -[All scream] 465 00:15:45,608 --> 00:15:47,144 PACK: ♪ Duo-duo butt 1" 466 00:15:47,276 --> 00:15:49,233 ♪ Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt 4" 467 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,568 -No. -[Jingling] 468 00:15:50,696 --> 00:15:52,562 ♪ Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt ♪ 469 00:15:52,698 --> 00:15:54,780 -Hey. -Hey. 470 00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:58,698 Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, 471 00:15:58,829 --> 00:16:00,740 if you were to make a clone of Tommy, 472 00:16:00,873 --> 00:16:02,204 what would you need to get started? 473 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,949 I don't kn-- Tommy's DNA? 474 00:16:04,085 --> 00:16:05,746 Okay, 'cause he, um... 475 00:16:05,878 --> 00:16:07,960 Yeah, he didn't want to come back, 476 00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:10,456 so, um, he gave me this. 477 00:16:10,591 --> 00:16:12,127 He gave you his finger? 478 00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:13,466 Uh, well, what happened is - 479 00:16:13,594 --> 00:16:15,551 -It's okay. It doesn't matter. -Okay. 480 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,136 This'll take about three hours. 481 00:16:17,265 --> 00:16:18,630 Okay. 482 00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:20,473 Hey. You want to help? 483 00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:22,467 Okay. 484 00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:25,641 -♪ Doo ♪ -♪ I got a doo-doo in my but I 485 00:16:25,773 --> 00:16:29,767 -♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ -♪ And I don't know what to do ♪ 486 00:16:29,902 --> 00:16:31,984 ♪ With the doo-doo in my butt ♪ 487 00:16:32,113 --> 00:16:36,482 ♪ But I know that a father should say to you ♪ 488 00:16:36,617 --> 00:16:38,824 -♪ That he's proud of you I -♪ Dec ♪ 489 00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:41,786 ♪ Every daughter is a doo-doo from a father's butt ♪ 490 00:16:41,914 --> 00:16:45,327 ♪ Biologically speaking, the butt is a nut ♪ 491 00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:48,542 ♪ And every father fathers wrong ♪ 492 00:16:48,671 --> 00:16:50,127 -♪ Ooh ♪ -♪ And there isn't a song ♪ 493 00:16:50,256 --> 00:16:52,088 ♪ That can change that ♪ 494 00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:55,591 I am wiped out. I guess I'll turn in. 495 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,676 Cool. 496 00:16:57,930 --> 00:16:58,761 Dad? 497 00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:01,089 I feel like I've spent my life 498 00:17:01,225 --> 00:17:04,763 pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. 499 00:17:04,895 --> 00:17:06,431 And the ugly truth has always been -- 500 00:17:06,564 --> 00:17:08,976 That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. 501 00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:11,308 Am I evil? 502 00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:12,980 Worse. You're smart. 503 00:17:13,112 --> 00:17:15,353 When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. 504 00:17:15,489 --> 00:17:17,526 And I've never met a universe that was into it. 505 00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,069 The universe is basically an animal. 506 00:17:19,201 --> 00:17:20,566 It grazes on the ordinary. 507 00:17:20,703 --> 00:17:22,694 It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, 508 00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:24,537 -not unlike your friend Timmy. -Tommy. 509 00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:26,121 Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. 510 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,116 You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, 511 00:17:28,252 --> 00:17:29,538 take reality for a ride, 512 00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,252 but it'll never stop trying to throw you. 513 00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:32,495 And, eventually, it will. 514 00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:34,214 There's no other way off. 515 00:17:34,342 --> 00:17:37,755 Dad, I'm out of excuses to not be who I am. 516 00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:40,720 So who am I? What do I do? 517 00:17:40,848 --> 00:17:42,338 My advice -- Take off. 518 00:17:42,475 --> 00:17:44,762 Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out. 519 00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:45,804 I can't do that. 520 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:47,552 The kids, Jerry, my job, 521 00:17:47,688 --> 00:17:49,645 and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC's "The Bachelor." 522 00:17:49,774 --> 00:17:52,015 I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, 523 00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:54,734 with all your memories, an exact copy in every way. 524 00:17:54,862 --> 00:17:56,398 It'll love and provide for the kids, 525 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:59,739 do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV 526 00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:02,234 on the same allegedly ironic level as you. 527 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:03,451 You could be gone a day, a week, 528 00:18:03,579 --> 00:18:05,820 or the rest of your life with zero consequences. 529 00:18:05,956 --> 00:18:07,117 The moment you decide to come back, 530 00:18:07,249 --> 00:18:09,490 I flip a switch, and the clone's job is done. 531 00:18:09,627 --> 00:18:11,413 It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, 532 00:18:11,545 --> 00:18:13,832 and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner." 533 00:18:15,049 --> 00:18:17,711 If nothing matters, why would you do that for me? 534 00:18:17,843 --> 00:18:20,255 I don't know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. 535 00:18:20,388 --> 00:18:22,345 Or maybe it makes you matter. 536 00:18:22,473 --> 00:18:23,463 Maybe I love you. 537 00:18:23,599 --> 00:18:24,680 Maybe something about your mother. 538 00:18:24,809 --> 00:18:26,641 Don't jump a gift shark in the mouth. 539 00:18:27,353 --> 00:18:28,684 I don't know if I can do it. 540 00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:30,645 Then stay and luxuriate in a life 541 00:18:30,773 --> 00:18:32,434 you can finally know you've chosen. 542 00:18:32,566 --> 00:18:34,853 My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, 543 00:18:34,985 --> 00:18:36,817 you're finally gonna chill the fuck out. 544 00:18:42,576 --> 00:18:44,408 Okay. 545 00:18:44,537 --> 00:18:46,619 I know what I want to do. 546 00:18:46,747 --> 00:18:47,657 [Whoosh] 547 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:48,575 Aah! 548 00:18:48,708 --> 00:18:49,664 -[Thud] -Ow! 549 00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:52,204 You can't run forever! 550 00:18:52,336 --> 00:18:53,792 SUMMER: She's really pissed off. 551 00:18:53,921 --> 00:18:55,286 JERRY: I know. It's kinda hot. 552 00:18:55,423 --> 00:18:56,629 Shut up! 553 00:18:56,757 --> 00:18:58,964 The hunters! They're back! Run! 554 00:18:59,093 --> 00:19:00,583 -We're not hunters. -We want to hide with you. 555 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,302 We're not hiding. We're nesting. 556 00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:03,295 Ooh la la. 557 00:19:03,431 --> 00:19:04,637 [All scream] 558 00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:07,974 The children must be destroyed so that we can be together. 559 00:19:08,102 --> 00:19:11,470 You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! 560 00:19:11,605 --> 00:19:13,391 -[Whoosh] -God damn it, Dad! 561 00:19:13,524 --> 00:19:15,481 [Grunts] Dump her! 562 00:19:15,609 --> 00:19:16,474 Okay, okay. 563 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:18,647 Kiara, let's just run away. 564 00:19:18,779 --> 00:19:19,484 -Dad! -Come on! 565 00:19:19,613 --> 00:19:20,648 Just rip the Band-Aid off! 566 00:19:20,781 --> 00:19:21,737 Okay! 567 00:19:21,866 --> 00:19:24,233 Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists 568 00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:27,156 who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. 569 00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:29,450 If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, 570 00:19:29,582 --> 00:19:30,447 it's me. 571 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,540 I'm the one who wants to break up. 572 00:19:34,378 --> 00:19:35,834 I - I'm not an evil person. 573 00:19:35,963 --> 00:19:37,499 I'm lazy, I'm cowardly, 574 00:19:37,631 --> 00:19:39,622 and -- and I do not know what I'm doing. 575 00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:42,000 Look. I got someone pregnant at 17. 576 00:19:42,136 --> 00:19:44,173 We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. 577 00:19:44,305 --> 00:19:46,296 I was excited to date someone cool 578 00:19:46,432 --> 00:19:49,424 because it would make my ex notice me. 579 00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:53,895 I would expect nothing less from humanity -- 580 00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:56,731 a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that -- 581 00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:59,351 -Kiara? -Trandor! 582 00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:00,693 What are you doing here? 583 00:20:00,821 --> 00:20:02,357 Just...hunting. 584 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:03,946 Do you really expect me to believe 585 00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:06,065 it has nothing to do with us? 586 00:20:06,202 --> 00:20:07,692 You knew Earth was my domain. 587 00:20:07,828 --> 00:20:09,614 I don't like what you're insinuating. 588 00:20:09,747 --> 00:20:11,704 -Dad, can we go now? -Hold on a second. 589 00:20:11,832 --> 00:20:14,574 I'm starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound. 590 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,417 Dad, you just got handed an ex machina. 591 00:20:16,545 --> 00:20:17,535 You're taking it. 592 00:20:17,671 --> 00:20:21,380 Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, 593 00:20:21,509 --> 00:20:24,046 and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? 594 00:20:24,178 --> 00:20:27,136 That's Gorgon shit -- total Gorgon shit! 595 00:20:27,264 --> 00:20:28,379 [Birds chirping] 596 00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:30,098 We're home! 597 00:20:30,226 --> 00:20:31,842 -Hey, guys! -What's for dinner? 598 00:20:31,977 --> 00:20:33,388 -How was Jerry's? -The usual. 599 00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:35,728 -Can we have pizza? -Pizza sounds great. 600 00:20:35,856 --> 00:20:37,813 Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? 601 00:20:37,942 --> 00:20:39,979 No. Gross. For the alien. 602 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,772 Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo's is closed. 603 00:20:42,905 --> 00:20:44,270 Are you guys sure you want pizza? 604 00:20:44,406 --> 00:20:46,613 [Whoosh] 605 00:20:46,742 --> 00:20:48,733 Arnaldo's isn't closed in the dimension 606 00:20:48,869 --> 00:20:50,451 where they didn't invent Daylight Savings! 607 00:20:50,579 --> 00:20:53,241 What would we do without you? I love you, Dad. 608 00:20:53,374 --> 00:20:54,990 Love you, too, sweetie. 609 00:20:56,377 --> 00:20:57,833 By the way, that wasn't time travel. 610 00:20:57,962 --> 00:20:59,418 There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. 611 00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:00,958 I grabbed them. 612 00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:03,127 [Dramatic music plays] 613 00:21:31,745 --> 00:21:34,328 -[ Beep] - Hey, Jerry, it's Kiara. 614 00:21:34,456 --> 00:21:36,618 Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you've been sending me, 615 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,206 and he got pretty pissed off. 616 00:21:38,335 --> 00:21:39,700 If he calls you, just ignore him! 617 00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:40,702 [Beep] 618 00:21:40,838 --> 00:21:41,919 This is Carmox. 619 00:21:42,047 --> 00:21:43,503 I have intercepted sexual communications 620 00:21:43,632 --> 00:21:45,293 between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara. 621 00:21:45,426 --> 00:21:47,508 - I am coming to kill you now! -[ Beep 1 622 00:21:47,636 --> 00:21:49,001 PACK: Yo, Jerry, it's the Big R. 623 00:21:49,138 --> 00:21:51,129 Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya. 624 00:21:51,265 --> 00:21:53,506 - Looking out for ya, buddy. -[ Beep I 625 00:21:53,642 --> 00:21:54,803 Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. Don't be mad. 626 00:21:54,935 --> 00:21:56,266 I fucked your ex-girlfriend Kiara. 627 00:21:56,395 --> 00:21:57,351 KIARA: Who are you talking to, Rick? 628 00:21:57,479 --> 00:21:59,390 -RICK: Doesn't matter. -[ Beep] 629 00:21:59,523 --> 00:22:00,638 Hey, Jerry, this is Michael 630 00:22:00,774 --> 00:22:02,105 down at The Antique Phone rentals. 631 00:22:02,234 --> 00:22:03,850 Um, I'm gonna go ahead and let you off the hook 632 00:22:03,986 --> 00:22:05,397 for the $70 late fee. 633 00:22:05,529 --> 00:22:06,940 You can go ahead and keep that answering machine. 634 00:22:07,072 --> 00:22:08,278 Nobody really uses those anymore 635 00:22:08,407 --> 00:22:10,489 except for exposition on TV shows, anyways. 636 00:22:10,618 --> 00:22:11,232 [Click]