1 00:00:02,322 --> 00:00:04,654 Come on, football! Go, go! 2 00:00:06,910 --> 00:00:08,150 Oh, come on. 3 00:00:08,287 --> 00:00:10,494 Play football! 4 00:00:10,622 --> 00:00:13,330 [Suspenseful music plays] 5 00:00:13,458 --> 00:00:15,165 [Creature growls softly] 6 00:00:18,005 --> 00:00:19,370 -[Creature snarls] -Aaah! 7 00:00:19,506 --> 00:00:20,462 [Slash!] 8 00:00:20,591 --> 00:00:22,457 RICK: So, you're mining stuff to craft with 9 00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:23,924 and crafting stuff to mine with? 10 00:00:24,052 --> 00:00:25,838 -Uh-huh. -Did your dad write this game? 11 00:00:25,971 --> 00:00:27,882 -Mean. -[Helicopter blades whirring] 12 00:00:30,183 --> 00:00:33,301 Gentlemen, you're needed by a friend in Washington! 13 00:00:33,437 --> 00:00:35,769 How clandestine. 14 00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:37,183 [Zap!] 15 00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:38,806 If they can teleport, why did we take -- 16 00:00:38,942 --> 00:00:40,478 I just work here, Steve, same as you! 17 00:00:40,611 --> 00:00:41,521 [Indistinct conversation] 18 00:00:41,653 --> 00:00:44,486 All right. All right, all right. 19 00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:46,697 -Mr. President. -It's about time, gentlemen. 20 00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:47,906 Rick, do you need to drink in here? 21 00:00:48,035 --> 00:00:49,366 -Yes. -Here's the adventure. 22 00:00:49,494 --> 00:00:51,405 Some kind of alien...googa 23 00:00:51,538 --> 00:00:53,279 has infested the Kennedy Sex Tunnels. 24 00:00:53,415 --> 00:00:55,326 I want it hunted down and taken out. 25 00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:56,745 Kennedy Sex Tunnels? 26 00:00:56,877 --> 00:00:58,117 Naturally, you'll forget you saw them, 27 00:00:58,253 --> 00:01:00,415 along with, in order of national embarrassment, 28 00:01:00,547 --> 00:01:02,584 the Truman Cocaine Lounge, the McKinley Hooker Dump, 29 00:01:02,716 --> 00:01:04,627 and the Lincoln Slave Coliseum. 30 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,421 He didn't free them all. 31 00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:07,634 And let me know when you're done. 32 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:08,673 Maybe then we could get a selfie? 33 00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:10,887 Too busy, Morty. Now tell me about this summit. 34 00:01:11,016 --> 00:01:13,508 Is it a peace one or a regular one? 35 00:01:13,644 --> 00:01:15,806 [Beeping] 36 00:01:18,023 --> 00:01:19,013 [Growling] 37 00:01:19,149 --> 00:01:20,435 [Zap! Zap! Zap!] 38 00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:21,978 [Whimpers] 39 00:01:23,695 --> 00:01:25,151 Ugh. This sucks. 40 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,395 God, tell me about it. 41 00:01:26,531 --> 00:01:27,896 Oh, man. If you're not into it - 42 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,740 What do you mean? Why would I be into it? 43 00:01:29,868 --> 00:01:31,825 -It's lame. -You're into lame stuff, Morty. 44 00:01:31,953 --> 00:01:33,944 I thought young dumb people considered it an honor 45 00:01:34,081 --> 00:01:36,163 to work for presidents or whatever the shit. 46 00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:38,453 Maybe the first few times, but this just sucks. 47 00:01:38,585 --> 00:01:40,326 He treats us like Ghostbusters. 48 00:01:40,462 --> 00:01:42,169 -We should talk to him. -Yeah, that sounds fun. 49 00:01:42,297 --> 00:01:44,538 Let's set some boundaries with a spoiled control freak 50 00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:45,790 that thinks he runs the world 51 00:01:45,926 --> 00:01:47,963 and orders drone strikes to cope with his insecurity. 52 00:01:48,095 --> 00:01:50,427 It's either that or more of this. 53 00:01:50,555 --> 00:01:51,920 Third choice... 54 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:53,422 -"Minecraft." -You like it now? 55 00:01:53,558 --> 00:01:55,765 Got to be honest, Morty. It's growing on me. 56 00:01:55,894 --> 00:01:57,259 Notify the president. 57 00:01:57,396 --> 00:01:59,683 -What do I tell him? -Tell him the truth. 58 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:03,649 Tell him Rick and Morty just blew off America. 59 00:02:03,777 --> 00:02:05,768 [Dramatic music plays] 60 00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:36,848 MORTY: You can use that wood to make a chest. 61 00:02:36,977 --> 00:02:38,308 RICK: Oh, good. Then I can store all this wood 62 00:02:38,437 --> 00:02:39,927 I'll need later for chest-making. 63 00:02:40,063 --> 00:02:41,098 MORTY: Okay. You're not going to have fun 64 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:42,562 if you analyze everything. 65 00:02:42,691 --> 00:02:43,806 This is what they'd rather do? 66 00:02:43,942 --> 00:02:45,603 It's all in the transcript. 67 00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:47,477 "Treats us like Ghostbusters." 68 00:02:47,612 --> 00:02:49,148 So, Ghostbusters aren't cool now? 69 00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:50,817 I don't recall signing that bill. 70 00:02:50,949 --> 00:02:51,939 "Control freak." 71 00:02:52,075 --> 00:02:54,316 "Orders drone strikes to cope with..." 72 00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:56,902 "Insecurity." 73 00:02:57,038 --> 00:02:58,324 Should we drone-strike them? 74 00:02:58,457 --> 00:03:00,323 -That would prove him right! -And blow him up. 75 00:03:00,459 --> 00:03:01,540 Give me the phone. 76 00:03:01,668 --> 00:03:03,375 RICK: Is this game popular with autistic people? 77 00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:04,914 Why would you say something like that? 78 00:03:05,046 --> 00:03:06,286 'Cause I'm starting to love it. 79 00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:07,379 [Cellphone vibrating] 80 00:03:07,507 --> 00:03:09,418 MORTY: "Failure to answer is a felony offense"? 81 00:03:09,551 --> 00:03:10,416 RICK: Play it cool. 82 00:03:10,552 --> 00:03:12,293 As far as he knows, we're still in the tunnels. 83 00:03:12,429 --> 00:03:13,419 SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: [Chuckles] 84 00:03:13,555 --> 00:03:15,171 When should we reveal we can see them? 85 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:16,718 We're holding all the cards right now. 86 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:18,761 We don't show any before the time is right. 87 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,009 -Awesome. -RICK: Yello? 88 00:03:20,145 --> 00:03:21,510 Hi, guys. US. President calling. 89 00:03:21,646 --> 00:03:22,977 -How's it going? -Oh, hey. 90 00:03:23,106 --> 00:03:25,017 Just hard at work on this sex tunnel gagoo. 91 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:26,936 I think it's kind of our new archnemesis, you know? 92 00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:28,058 It might take a while. 93 00:03:28,195 --> 00:03:29,481 What do you think, Morty, a month? 94 00:03:29,613 --> 00:03:30,944 Fingers crossed, a month, yeah. 95 00:03:32,449 --> 00:03:33,610 You lying dicks! 96 00:03:33,742 --> 00:03:35,153 I see your asses playing "Minecraft"! 97 00:03:35,285 --> 00:03:36,616 I got you on satellite! 98 00:03:36,745 --> 00:03:37,951 That's right. 99 00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:39,285 What do you have to say for yourselves? 100 00:03:39,414 --> 00:03:41,200 Okay, obviously, this looks bad, Mr. President. 101 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,619 I mean, what doesn't look bad 102 00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:43,957 through an illegal spy satellite? 103 00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:45,075 Don't high-road me. 104 00:03:45,212 --> 00:03:46,794 The two of you break 1,000 federal laws a day. 105 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,538 -Wow, really? -That's pretty cool. 106 00:03:48,673 --> 00:03:50,880 And, yes, yes, yes, yes, you save the world now and then. 107 00:03:51,009 --> 00:03:52,090 America returns that favor 108 00:03:52,219 --> 00:03:54,586 by not holding the two of you accountable to its laws. 109 00:03:54,721 --> 00:03:56,382 -Oh! -Oh! Oh. God. 110 00:03:56,515 --> 00:03:58,131 We -- We didn't know you saw it that way. 111 00:03:58,266 --> 00:03:59,927 Well, it's nobody's fault. 112 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,767 We never had "the talk," so to speak. 113 00:04:01,895 --> 00:04:03,010 RICK: Yeah. I mean, the way we see it, 114 00:04:03,146 --> 00:04:05,808 when we show up, that's the favor to you. 115 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,773 Especially, you know, when it turns out 116 00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:09,562 you wanted someone to come over just because you found 117 00:04:09,694 --> 00:04:11,355 an "X-Files" monster in your basement. 118 00:04:11,488 --> 00:04:14,651 As for the reason you've never, like, arrested us, 119 00:04:14,783 --> 00:04:16,865 we assumed you just knew that it was impossible, 120 00:04:16,993 --> 00:04:18,358 like, if you tried. 121 00:04:18,495 --> 00:04:20,532 You know, it wouldn't go well. 122 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:24,749 Wouldn't go well? Can you elaborate? 123 00:04:24,876 --> 00:04:27,618 I think one of your 1,000 laws says, no, I can't elaborate. 124 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:29,461 Just trust me. None of us want to go there. 125 00:04:29,589 --> 00:04:31,000 Which we'll never have to. 126 00:04:31,132 --> 00:04:32,873 By the way, we'll keep on saving the Earth. 127 00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:34,420 You know, we're -- we're happy to do that. 128 00:04:34,553 --> 00:04:36,169 RICK: Yeah, but not because it contains America -- 129 00:04:36,304 --> 00:04:38,636 because moving to a new version of Earth is a bitch and a half. 130 00:04:38,765 --> 00:04:41,348 But feel free to call us, you know, as -- as, like, friends. 131 00:04:41,476 --> 00:04:43,513 Yeah, like, if you ever want to take a selfie -- 132 00:04:44,312 --> 00:04:45,973 So, are we cool? 133 00:04:47,148 --> 00:04:49,014 PRESIDENT: Yes. Thank you, gentlemen. 134 00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,106 I told you, man! 135 00:04:50,235 --> 00:04:52,693 I'm impressed, Morty. That went really well. 136 00:04:52,821 --> 00:04:54,903 [Indistinct conversations] 137 00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:57,022 Everybody, get ahold of yourselves! 138 00:04:57,158 --> 00:04:59,365 Sir, what is our new Rick and Morty policy? 139 00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:02,612 Our policy is, we never needed them and never will again. 140 00:05:02,747 --> 00:05:04,738 Today, we celebrate our independence 141 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,365 from Rick and Morty. 142 00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:08,666 Everyone out. 143 00:05:10,422 --> 00:05:12,880 [Down-tempo music plays] 144 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,128 ♪ How can I move on from your love? ♪ 145 00:05:18,263 --> 00:05:20,595 MAN: All this spring at Clothes Mart, there's a clothes sale. 146 00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:21,839 Come on down to the clothes section. 147 00:05:21,975 --> 00:05:24,091 I just put it on for fun. I know I can't buy it. 148 00:05:24,227 --> 00:05:27,094 Oh, come on. You look great! You're only young once. 149 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:28,971 Just promise, if the results are too strong, 150 00:05:29,107 --> 00:05:30,017 you'll use protection. 151 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,766 Really?! Thanks! 152 00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:34,143 -When did you get rad? -I don't know. 153 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:38,318 Maybe I adjusted to the divorce and everything's new. 154 00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:39,736 I'll say. I couldn't stand you 155 00:05:39,868 --> 00:05:41,859 for more than an hour at a time before. 156 00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:43,451 [Chuckles] No -- No offense. 157 00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:46,242 I like it. It's great. You're like a different person. 158 00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:48,448 Yeah. 159 00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:50,496 Different person. 160 00:05:50,629 --> 00:05:54,042 [Suspenseful music plays] 161 00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,167 Contato. 162 00:05:58,303 --> 00:06:01,386 Vamos! Vamos! Aaah'.! 163 00:06:01,514 --> 00:06:02,800 How do you like that, Morty? 164 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,844 Whoa! Just like "Minecraft"! 165 00:06:04,976 --> 00:06:07,013 Ooh, a tiny nuclear-capable species 166 00:06:07,145 --> 00:06:08,681 just got discovered in the Amazon. 167 00:06:08,813 --> 00:06:10,303 Let's go make first contact before someone else 168 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:11,851 -gets all their shit. -What about this? 169 00:06:11,983 --> 00:06:13,644 South Park did it four years ago, Morty. 170 00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:16,018 -They're fast. -RICK: Or we're slow. 171 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:18,441 [Suspenseful music plays] 172 00:06:19,658 --> 00:06:20,944 Don't do it, guys. 173 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,488 The casualties would be in the "Brazilians" 174 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,110 because you're Brazilian. 175 00:06:25,246 --> 00:06:26,452 It's a threat and a pun. 176 00:06:26,581 --> 00:06:27,537 Nobody gets me. 177 00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:29,248 Americanos! Pressa! 178 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,333 [Rumbling] 179 00:06:48,186 --> 00:06:50,302 Oh. Hello, Rick. You're here, too. 180 00:06:50,438 --> 00:06:52,224 I guess this is a global crisis. 181 00:06:52,357 --> 00:06:53,768 Oh, God. Uh, Mr. President, 182 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,390 Morty and I have the situation covered. 183 00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:56,813 I'm sure you did. 184 00:06:56,945 --> 00:06:58,276 -Dismissed. -Dismissed? 185 00:06:58,405 --> 00:06:59,895 Yeah, dismissed. 186 00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:02,272 Not needed here. You can leave and nobody will care. 187 00:07:02,409 --> 00:07:03,274 Have you never heard that before? 188 00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:04,821 Do you even know how to take out this kind of threat? 189 00:07:04,953 --> 00:07:05,988 We're not taking it out. 190 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:09,284 We're going to shrink down and approach them diplomatically. 191 00:07:12,544 --> 00:07:14,785 -RICK: You shrink with pills? -Are you still here? 192 00:07:14,921 --> 00:07:16,832 Shouldn't you be going down to your next version of Earth 193 00:07:16,965 --> 00:07:18,922 with your selfie-craving star-fucker sidekick? 194 00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:20,586 -Whoa! -We're allowed to be here. 195 00:07:20,719 --> 00:07:22,130 You aren't president of the Amazon. 196 00:07:22,262 --> 00:07:23,878 Yeah, I learned about your job in school. 197 00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:25,254 You're a civil servant. 198 00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,596 We're technically your boss. 199 00:07:26,725 --> 00:07:27,760 Oh, please, Morty. 200 00:07:27,892 --> 00:07:29,474 You pay as many taxes as you have pubes. 201 00:07:29,602 --> 00:07:32,139 Oh, I got pubes, Commander-in-Queef. 202 00:07:32,272 --> 00:07:34,354 -Y-You want to count them? -Commander-in-Queef. 203 00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:35,563 That's it! Do it! 204 00:07:36,776 --> 00:07:38,938 Recognize the rare element Sanchez-eum? 205 00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:41,437 We've been preparing for a Rick- level eventuality for some time. 206 00:07:41,573 --> 00:07:43,610 You mean you've been ordering other people to prepare for it 207 00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:45,483 while you sat on your ass at peace summits. 208 00:07:45,618 --> 00:07:47,450 -Peace summits are important! -Oh, yeah! They work great! 209 00:07:47,579 --> 00:07:49,320 We're really drowning in peace! 210 00:07:49,456 --> 00:07:51,163 -You suck! -You suck! 211 00:07:51,291 --> 00:07:52,781 Task Force Alpha, prepare to shrink. 212 00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:55,750 Is there a Task Force Alpha health plan, by the way? 213 00:07:55,879 --> 00:07:58,120 Because if those pills are based on subatomic compression, 214 00:07:58,256 --> 00:07:59,496 you could get a more curable cancer 215 00:07:59,632 --> 00:08:01,794 just walking through the mushroom clouds. 216 00:08:01,926 --> 00:08:03,212 God damn it! I'll do it. 217 00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:06,969 -Whoa. -Task Force Alpha is disbanded. 218 00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:08,714 And you two aren't American anymore! 219 00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,716 I can say that. You're expatriated! 220 00:08:10,852 --> 00:08:12,763 If you step foot on homeland soil again, 221 00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,637 I'll treat it as an invasion. 222 00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:15,854 Is this supposed to be painful? 223 00:08:15,982 --> 00:08:16,847 Painful to watch. 224 00:08:16,983 --> 00:08:18,473 Oh, such lame shrinking. 225 00:08:18,610 --> 00:08:20,851 Oh, his clothes stay the same size? 226 00:08:20,987 --> 00:08:23,319 '703 shrinking, party of one. 227 00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:25,485 [High-pitched voice] Eat my shrinking ass! 228 00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:29,193 There he goes. All right. Let's get out of here, Morty. 229 00:08:30,622 --> 00:08:31,828 What the hell?! 230 00:08:31,956 --> 00:08:34,038 I made Sanchez-eum up, dumbasses. 231 00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:36,078 Don't believe everything you read on Wikipedia. 232 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,919 Stand down. He's not afraid of pirates. 233 00:08:39,047 --> 00:08:41,630 Oh! Run, Morty! That part was true! 234 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:57,392 [Dialing, ringing] 235 00:08:57,524 --> 00:08:58,980 RICK: I-I can't talk now, sweetie. 236 00:08:59,109 --> 00:09:00,144 -Oh, when can you? -RICK: Good point. 237 00:09:00,276 --> 00:09:01,141 [Burps] What's up? 238 00:09:01,277 --> 00:09:03,564 Remember a little while ago when you said that, if I wanted, 239 00:09:03,696 --> 00:09:06,313 I could, like, leave Earth and wander the infinite cosmos 240 00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:08,781 to figure out who I am and that nobody would ever know I'd left 241 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,197 because you could replace me with a clone? 242 00:09:11,329 --> 00:09:12,490 -Mm-hmm. -Am I the clone? 243 00:09:12,622 --> 00:09:14,033 -Sorry. What? -Am I the clone? 244 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:16,076 Did the real me choose to leave, and I only think I chose to stay 245 00:09:16,209 --> 00:09:17,290 because that's what I need to think 246 00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:19,125 because I'm the replacement Beth? 247 00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:21,249 -No. -Okay. 248 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:22,542 Wait. And one more thing. 249 00:09:22,674 --> 00:09:25,757 If I were a clone, would you tell me? 250 00:09:26,761 --> 00:09:28,547 Beth, you know, when -- when smart people get happy, 251 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,671 they stop recognizing themselves. 252 00:09:30,807 --> 00:09:34,050 And you are very smart because you're very much my daughter. 253 00:09:34,185 --> 00:09:37,052 Oh, God. You're right. I'm sorry. 254 00:09:37,188 --> 00:09:38,474 -Thank you, Dad. -All good? 255 00:09:38,606 --> 00:09:40,472 Totally. I'm fine now. 256 00:09:40,608 --> 00:09:42,019 And just to be sure, 257 00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:43,608 you're not pretending to be convinced you're real 258 00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:45,397 because you're actually convinced you're a clone 259 00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,237 and you're now terrified that becoming self-aware 260 00:09:47,365 --> 00:09:48,981 would mean I'd have to terminate you? 261 00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:52,151 -No. -RICK: Okay. Glad I could help. 262 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,448 See you soon. 263 00:09:55,081 --> 00:09:57,994 [Breathing heavily] Aaaaaah! 264 00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,618 [Suspenseful music plays] 265 00:10:05,717 --> 00:10:06,627 Where do I go? 266 00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:10,377 What does th-- What -- What -- What -- What does this mean? 267 00:10:10,513 --> 00:10:11,423 This means nothing. 268 00:10:11,556 --> 00:10:13,263 Pull forward and park. 269 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:14,506 Then say that, God damn it! 270 00:10:15,435 --> 00:10:16,516 Sorry. 271 00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:18,134 Bad day. 272 00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:19,932 [Suspenseful music plays] 273 00:10:20,064 --> 00:10:22,601 I am Presidentress of the Mega Gargantuans. 274 00:10:22,734 --> 00:10:25,101 We named ourselves before learning we were small. 275 00:10:25,236 --> 00:10:27,728 Madam Presidentress, I'm President of America, 276 00:10:27,864 --> 00:10:28,820 which is basically the world, 277 00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:30,154 but you didn't hear that from me. 278 00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:31,990 -I've come to -- -I know who you are. 279 00:10:32,118 --> 00:10:33,825 We've already agreed to a ceasefire 280 00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:35,614 with your ambassadors, Rick and Morty. 281 00:10:35,747 --> 00:10:37,579 -Rick and Morty were here? -Of course they were here. 282 00:10:37,707 --> 00:10:39,448 They can shrink instantly and teleport. 283 00:10:39,584 --> 00:10:40,995 They told me to give you this. 284 00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:43,334 They said it will stretch as your cancer pill wears off 285 00:10:43,463 --> 00:10:46,797 and your body awkwardly enlarges at the rate of a '503 movie. 286 00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:47,790 Are there pants? 287 00:10:47,926 --> 00:10:49,917 They said you'd prefer just a shirt. 288 00:10:50,053 --> 00:10:52,761 Apparently, you have a need to swing your dick around? 289 00:10:54,891 --> 00:10:55,881 Rick and Morty escaped. 290 00:10:56,017 --> 00:10:57,803 No shit. Take me to the Pentagon. 291 00:10:57,936 --> 00:10:59,301 We're at war with Rick and Morty. 292 00:10:59,437 --> 00:11:00,893 You'll want to make a stop at the White House? 293 00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:03,514 I have pants at the Pentagon, Rhonda. It's in my contract. 294 00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:05,311 I mean you need to call a press conference. 295 00:11:05,443 --> 00:11:07,980 Israel and Palestine have announced a permanent ceasefire. 296 00:11:08,112 --> 00:11:09,819 -What? -They signed something called 297 00:11:09,948 --> 00:11:12,189 "The Pretty Obvious If You Think About It" accord. 298 00:11:12,325 --> 00:11:14,566 Apparently, an anonymous American diplomat 299 00:11:14,702 --> 00:11:16,784 took them to a "Star Wars" cantina, 300 00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:18,574 where they smoked perspective-enhancing 301 00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:20,743 alien pheromones through a laser hookah. 302 00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,491 I still say it has to be Putin. 303 00:11:22,627 --> 00:11:23,992 It was Rick and Morty, you fucking dunce! 304 00:11:24,128 --> 00:11:25,118 But you're getting the credit, sir. 305 00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:27,041 Your approval rating just hit 100%. 306 00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:28,504 Why would Rick and Morty want that? 307 00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:30,215 Because they're assholes! 308 00:11:30,885 --> 00:11:32,796 I'm flattered, but it takes a whole team 309 00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:34,260 to achieve what we did today. 310 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,720 Thank you. 311 00:11:35,848 --> 00:11:36,383 Well? 312 00:11:36,516 --> 00:11:37,506 They haven't been back home, sir. 313 00:11:37,642 --> 00:11:39,849 We've got every possible location under surveillance. 314 00:11:39,978 --> 00:11:41,719 God damn it! They're right here! 315 00:11:41,854 --> 00:11:43,595 -They're here, God damn it! -Code Red! We need backup! 316 00:11:43,731 --> 00:11:45,313 Everybody relax. 317 00:11:45,441 --> 00:11:46,522 Just waiting for you in the only room 318 00:11:46,651 --> 00:11:48,107 you can't blow up or spy on. 319 00:11:48,236 --> 00:11:49,943 So, we're not changing timelines for you, 320 00:11:50,071 --> 00:11:51,482 but now you have everything you want, 321 00:11:51,614 --> 00:11:54,026 so you can forget we exist, and we'll return the favor. 322 00:11:54,158 --> 00:11:55,364 You couldn't say that in a text? 323 00:11:55,493 --> 00:11:57,951 Well, since we won't be seeing each other again, my -- 324 00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,241 Guys, we get it. It's a Code Red. Enough. 325 00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:01,955 My grandson has worked hard for you, 326 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,699 and I feel like he's earned a selfie. 327 00:12:03,835 --> 00:12:05,576 Honestly, I could take it or leave it at this point. 328 00:12:05,712 --> 00:12:06,577 You're taking it. 329 00:12:06,713 --> 00:12:08,579 No. What kind of fratty-ass status move is that? 330 00:12:08,715 --> 00:12:09,580 Get out of my office! 331 00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:11,377 Seriously? You're that stubborn? 332 00:12:11,509 --> 00:12:13,250 He's the stubborn one. I'm protecting my country. 333 00:12:13,386 --> 00:12:14,421 Uh, from selfies? 334 00:12:14,554 --> 00:12:16,170 From subordination to hostile powers. 335 00:12:16,306 --> 00:12:17,922 Uh, does China know about that deal-breaker? 336 00:12:18,057 --> 00:12:19,547 China doesn't piss on the White House. 337 00:12:19,684 --> 00:12:21,391 Well, why would they? I'm sure it was expensive. 338 00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:23,055 -Get out. -Not without a selfie. 339 00:12:23,187 --> 00:12:23,801 Arrest them. 340 00:12:23,938 --> 00:12:25,144 Son, you have a right to refuse his order, 341 00:12:25,273 --> 00:12:26,855 and I guarantee you're going to die if you touch me, 342 00:12:26,983 --> 00:12:28,974 and there's no afterlife. Everything just goes black. 343 00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:30,191 Don't do it. 344 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,106 -Whoa, Rick! -Okay. What was that? 345 00:12:32,238 --> 00:12:33,228 -Death. -What kind? 346 00:12:33,364 --> 00:12:34,479 -Instant. -There was no sound. 347 00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:36,071 -He just died. -Yeah, terrifying. 348 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,531 It's a terrifying thing to watch happen. 349 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:38,775 It's called a deterrent. 350 00:12:38,911 --> 00:12:40,276 You couldn't just knock him out? 351 00:12:40,413 --> 00:12:42,120 How is knocking out a deterrent? 352 00:12:42,248 --> 00:12:43,363 Everyone wants to be knocked out. 353 00:12:43,499 --> 00:12:44,739 Nobody wants to be dead. 354 00:12:44,876 --> 00:12:46,207 You committed murder in the Oval Office. 355 00:12:46,336 --> 00:12:47,246 -Now you can't leave. -That's fine. 356 00:12:47,378 --> 00:12:48,868 I said I'm not leaving without a selfie. 357 00:12:49,005 --> 00:12:50,336 Uh, I don't need a selfie. 358 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:51,421 And I'm saying you aren't getting one 359 00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:52,414 and you aren't leaving. 360 00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:54,962 -So we agree? -Yes. No. We disagree 361 00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:56,926 because you think you're getting a selfie and leaving. 362 00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:57,965 Am I getting a selfie? 363 00:12:58,097 --> 00:12:59,337 -Never. -Then I'm never leaving. 364 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,589 -Exactly. -See? 365 00:13:00,725 --> 00:13:01,590 Does anyone have a shot? 366 00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:03,467 Yes, nine people. I can show you. 367 00:13:04,312 --> 00:13:06,303 -But I wouldn't recommend - -Open fire! 368 00:13:07,023 --> 00:13:07,979 God, you are dumb! 369 00:13:08,107 --> 00:13:09,097 Get the President out of here! 370 00:13:09,233 --> 00:13:10,849 -Bad idea. -Wait. Why? 371 00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:12,020 Because if there isn't someone in here 372 00:13:12,153 --> 00:13:13,439 that they're not supposed to kill, 373 00:13:13,571 --> 00:13:15,187 they're going to wreck the place trying to kill me. 374 00:13:15,323 --> 00:13:17,234 As long as you live, no matter where you are, 375 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:19,984 if it isn't in a selfie with him, I'll be here. 376 00:13:21,079 --> 00:13:22,194 Jesus! He's not a fucking god! 377 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,536 You don't know what I am! 378 00:13:23,664 --> 00:13:24,699 And you don't know what I can do! 379 00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:25,822 Geez, it's -- it's cool, Rick! 380 00:13:25,958 --> 00:13:27,198 I'm Doctor Who in this motherfucker. 381 00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:29,417 I could be a clone. I could be a hologram. 382 00:13:29,545 --> 00:13:31,161 We could be clones controlled by robots 383 00:13:31,297 --> 00:13:32,583 controlled with special headsets 384 00:13:32,715 --> 00:13:33,796 that the real Rick and Morty are wearing 385 00:13:33,925 --> 00:13:34,835 while they're fucking your mother! 386 00:13:34,967 --> 00:13:35,877 I'm going to kill you! 387 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,626 Then come to 312 Olive Street! 388 00:13:37,762 --> 00:13:38,718 Is that her address? 389 00:13:38,846 --> 00:13:40,302 You don't know because you're a bad son! 390 00:13:40,431 --> 00:13:42,923 -Owl -Take him down! Semper fi! 391 00:13:43,059 --> 00:13:43,969 Aaaaah! 392 00:13:44,102 --> 00:13:46,093 MAN: Number three, The Twister. 393 00:13:46,229 --> 00:13:47,469 -Ow! Damn it. -Number four... 394 00:13:47,605 --> 00:13:48,811 The Hanky Panky. 395 00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,522 [Knock on door] 396 00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:51,890 Beth? 397 00:13:52,026 --> 00:13:54,142 My dad might have cloned me, and I might be the clone. 398 00:13:54,278 --> 00:13:55,894 And he says I'm not, but that's what he'd say to a clone. 399 00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:58,192 -Typical. - Number six, The Texas Ripple. 400 00:13:58,324 --> 00:13:59,814 You look like you to me. 401 00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:02,784 What are you, an idiot? [Sighs] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 402 00:14:02,912 --> 00:14:03,822 That was so rude. 403 00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:06,287 I came to you for help, and now I'm insulting your intelligence. 404 00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,827 And look where intelligence gets you. 405 00:14:07,959 --> 00:14:09,950 Well, don't knock intelligence, because right now 406 00:14:10,086 --> 00:14:12,703 I'd love to understand how I can help you. 407 00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:14,295 I can't be in charge of that, Jerry. 408 00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:16,791 My mind, my ideas are all part of the variable. 409 00:14:16,926 --> 00:14:18,963 The only constant is you. 410 00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:21,757 You know me inside and out. 411 00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:23,300 Do what you have to do. 412 00:14:25,268 --> 00:14:26,758 Okay. Sit down. 413 00:14:26,894 --> 00:14:28,259 Now cross your legs. 414 00:14:28,396 --> 00:14:29,602 That leg on top. Good. 415 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,721 Oh, what is this? 416 00:14:31,858 --> 00:14:32,893 [Classical music plays] 417 00:14:33,025 --> 00:14:34,811 Senior year, I took you on a date 418 00:14:34,944 --> 00:14:36,355 to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra 419 00:14:36,487 --> 00:14:39,445 performing the music of Alan Silvestri in the Park. 420 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,565 At this point in the song from "Volcano," 421 00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,612 when Tommy Lee Jones and the utility workers 422 00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:46,156 are using cars to guide the lava into a cul-de-sac, 423 00:14:46,289 --> 00:14:47,871 I realized my palms were so sweaty, 424 00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:49,410 I would never get to hold your hand. 425 00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:50,782 But I was desperate to touch you, 426 00:14:50,918 --> 00:14:52,829 so I wiped my palm on the grass next to me. 427 00:14:52,962 --> 00:14:54,794 But a Snickers wrapper kind of got stuck on it, 428 00:14:54,922 --> 00:14:56,663 so I started kind of jiggling it, 429 00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,506 whipping it without moving too much. 430 00:14:58,634 --> 00:14:59,965 But you started looking over, and I thought, 431 00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:02,085 "Well, this is it. She's going to see that I'm a loser, 432 00:15:02,221 --> 00:15:03,177 and I'll never get to touch her. 433 00:15:03,306 --> 00:15:04,842 But I still have time to touch her." 434 00:15:04,974 --> 00:15:06,260 But my hand had Snickers on it, 435 00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:07,678 and the brass section was swelling 436 00:15:07,810 --> 00:15:09,517 because it was the scene with the guy melting in the lava. 437 00:15:09,645 --> 00:15:11,636 And I just thought, "Fuck it. Lips don't sweat." 438 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,357 Wow. Yeah. 439 00:15:16,486 --> 00:15:18,853 I'll never forget that feeling. 440 00:15:18,988 --> 00:15:20,695 You're the real thing. 441 00:15:20,823 --> 00:15:22,063 Then that settles it, 442 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,783 because my memory is of hating that night. 443 00:15:24,911 --> 00:15:28,029 But now, reliving it, all I can feel is how lucky I am 444 00:15:28,164 --> 00:15:33,079 to be loved by such a simple, honest, simple man. 445 00:15:33,211 --> 00:15:34,076 Simple twice. 446 00:15:34,212 --> 00:15:36,954 This isn't the woman you married, Jerry, 447 00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:38,671 because this woman loves you. 448 00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:42,133 Uh...well, vive la différence. 449 00:15:42,261 --> 00:15:44,172 [Chuckles] Okay. That was lame. 450 00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:46,842 Listen, I -- Words. 451 00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:48,597 Don Cheadle. 452 00:15:48,726 --> 00:15:50,842 [Moaning] 453 00:15:53,606 --> 00:15:55,688 You have the right to get the fuck out of my office! 454 00:15:55,816 --> 00:15:57,773 You have the right to kiss my dick! 455 00:15:57,902 --> 00:15:59,859 Give me the thing. 456 00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:01,022 Ugh! 457 00:16:01,155 --> 00:16:03,066 Oh! Ugh! 458 00:16:08,246 --> 00:16:09,486 Ugh! 459 00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,160 [Both coughing] 460 00:16:20,883 --> 00:16:22,419 [Both screaming] 461 00:16:31,435 --> 00:16:32,800 [Both scream] 462 00:16:32,937 --> 00:16:34,018 -Ooh! -Ooh! 463 00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:35,227 [Both scream] 464 00:16:38,025 --> 00:16:41,359 Oh! [Laughing] 465 00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:44,899 [Clicking] 466 00:16:53,791 --> 00:16:54,872 Aah! 467 00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:07,548 Ohh! 468 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,887 Submit! Submit for the selfie! 469 00:17:10,016 --> 00:17:11,973 I yield! I yield! Take the selfie! 470 00:17:12,101 --> 00:17:14,593 Okay. Morty, get in there and say, "Cheese." 471 00:17:15,313 --> 00:17:16,644 Morty? 472 00:17:16,772 --> 00:17:17,853 Morty, come on! 473 00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:19,689 [Sighs] God damn it! 474 00:17:19,817 --> 00:17:21,103 [Cellphone vibrating] 475 00:17:21,235 --> 00:17:24,899 Rick, don't get mad, but I-I stole your portal gun. 476 00:17:25,031 --> 00:17:26,146 RICK: What the fuck, Morty?! 477 00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:28,944 I told you I didn't want the damn selfie 800 times! 478 00:17:29,076 --> 00:17:30,692 Look, whatever the hell is going on between you 479 00:17:30,828 --> 00:17:32,694 and the president, it's got nothing to do with me. 480 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:34,412 -So where did you go? -MORTY: I can't tell you. 481 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,702 Rick, did you tell my mom she might be a clone? 482 00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,541 No! I told her she wasn't! 483 00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:40,034 Well, isn't that what you'd tell a clone? 484 00:17:40,171 --> 00:17:41,161 RICK: Oh, for Christ's sake. 485 00:17:41,297 --> 00:17:43,083 Rick, my mom and dad are getting back together. 486 00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:44,876 What? No! She's not a clone! 487 00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:46,875 Well, she says it doesn't matter if she is or isn't 488 00:17:47,011 --> 00:17:48,251 because now she loves my dad, 489 00:17:48,387 --> 00:17:50,094 and she wanted me and Summer to come home, 490 00:17:50,222 --> 00:17:52,088 and we're hiding from you so you don't kill her 491 00:17:52,224 --> 00:17:55,433 if she's a clone in a place I picked that you will never find. 492 00:17:55,561 --> 00:17:57,928 -So don't look for us. -[Beep] 493 00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,473 -Come on, bitch! -Oh, you come on, bitch. 494 00:18:01,609 --> 00:18:02,974 I'm out. I'm done. 495 00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:05,351 I got to - I got to go. 496 00:18:05,488 --> 00:18:07,695 So I win. Then I'm in charge, and you can't leave. 497 00:18:07,823 --> 00:18:09,313 You're a terrorist. You're an enemy of the state, 498 00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:10,986 and you kicked me in the balls 10 minutes ago! 499 00:18:11,118 --> 00:18:12,859 The office of the President can't coexist 500 00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:14,861 with a living god that won't submit to it -- 501 00:18:14,997 --> 00:18:16,362 I mean, besides Poseidon. 502 00:18:16,499 --> 00:18:17,955 But he's locked up in Area 51 already, 503 00:18:18,084 --> 00:18:18,949 so that doesn't really count. 504 00:18:19,085 --> 00:18:20,826 Mr. President, I'll make you a deal. 505 00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:22,918 If you let me use your ghetto-ass off-brand 506 00:18:23,047 --> 00:18:24,708 deficit-tripling teleporter, 507 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,457 I can go take care of something, and you'll never see me again. 508 00:18:27,593 --> 00:18:30,051 Yes. Deal. Invisi-troopers, stand down. 509 00:18:30,179 --> 00:18:31,214 -[All groan] -Yeah, yeah. 510 00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:32,212 I don't want to hear it. 511 00:18:32,348 --> 00:18:33,930 You know I could see them this whole time, right? 512 00:18:34,058 --> 00:18:35,423 Don't push it, Sanchez. 513 00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:39,348 [Suspenseful music plays] 514 00:18:45,986 --> 00:18:47,272 He found us! 515 00:18:47,405 --> 00:18:48,486 I told you we shouldn't have gone 516 00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:49,945 to the same cabin as last time! 517 00:18:50,074 --> 00:18:52,361 Oh, we're not going anywhere. This ends now. 518 00:18:53,536 --> 00:18:56,654 Dad, if you're my dad. Of course, you're not my dad. 519 00:18:56,789 --> 00:18:58,621 You're here with a gun because I am a clone. 520 00:18:58,749 --> 00:19:00,285 I guess I have all your daughter's memories. 521 00:19:00,418 --> 00:19:03,831 So I guess I was her, which makes me related to her. 522 00:19:03,963 --> 00:19:05,169 But I don't relate to her. 523 00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:09,291 She left her family and me, which means I relate to them. 524 00:19:09,427 --> 00:19:11,418 So if you kill me, fine. You're not killing her. 525 00:19:11,554 --> 00:19:13,340 But you're killing a real family. 526 00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:15,759 And instead of doing that, will you just go away? 527 00:19:15,891 --> 00:19:17,507 Aren't there, like, infinite timelines? 528 00:19:17,643 --> 00:19:19,805 Can't you just move to one where I don't know I'm a clone 529 00:19:19,937 --> 00:19:22,019 and where a different but identical version 530 00:19:22,148 --> 00:19:24,685 of your authentic sociopathic crazy bitch 531 00:19:24,817 --> 00:19:26,933 of a daughter can keep making you proud 532 00:19:27,069 --> 00:19:28,275 by being somewhere else? 533 00:19:29,405 --> 00:19:31,897 Beth, you crazy bitch. You're my daughter. 534 00:19:32,032 --> 00:19:33,522 I brought this here to kill Jerry. 535 00:19:33,659 --> 00:19:35,650 -Oh, my God! -Jesus Christ! 536 00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:38,653 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You win, Jerry. You win! 537 00:19:38,789 --> 00:19:42,032 No amount of genius can stop your dumb mediocre vacuous roots 538 00:19:42,168 --> 00:19:44,125 from digging into everything and everyone around you 539 00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:46,745 and draining them of any ability to fend you off. 540 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,794 Well, it couldn't have been easy for you to say that. 541 00:19:49,925 --> 00:19:50,915 I appreciate it. 542 00:19:51,051 --> 00:19:53,133 Morty, where's my portal gun? Let's get out of here. 543 00:19:53,262 --> 00:19:54,343 I'm staying here, Rick. 544 00:19:54,472 --> 00:19:56,088 Are you - Ugh! 545 00:19:56,223 --> 00:19:57,384 Nobody gets it. 546 00:19:57,516 --> 00:19:59,006 Nothing you think matters matters. 547 00:19:59,143 --> 00:20:00,224 This isn't special. 548 00:20:00,352 --> 00:20:01,683 This -- This is happening infinite times 549 00:20:01,812 --> 00:20:02,847 across infinite realities. 550 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:05,347 Including this? [Farts] 551 00:20:05,483 --> 00:20:06,848 Yes! 552 00:20:06,984 --> 00:20:09,851 Which is not to say that, subjectively, it wasn't funny. 553 00:20:09,987 --> 00:20:10,852 Are you going to stay? 554 00:20:10,988 --> 00:20:12,478 There's infinite timelines, Morty. 555 00:20:12,615 --> 00:20:14,902 Why would I stay in the one where I trashed the White House, 556 00:20:15,034 --> 00:20:16,490 became an enemy of America 557 00:20:16,619 --> 00:20:19,577 and the lowest-status character in my idiot family? 558 00:20:21,457 --> 00:20:23,073 Because of the fart? 559 00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:24,870 There's still some rubble over there. 560 00:20:25,002 --> 00:20:26,584 I don't think you've ever understood 561 00:20:26,712 --> 00:20:29,625 what "Secretary of the Interior" means! 562 00:20:29,757 --> 00:20:31,668 Hi, Mr. President. I'm Rick Sanchez, 563 00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:33,383 but not the one that did this. 564 00:20:33,511 --> 00:20:36,378 We Ricks travel the infinite and switch places with each other 565 00:20:36,514 --> 00:20:37,970 like hermit crabs, I think. 566 00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:39,304 I'm Fly Fishing Rick. 567 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:40,673 You can distinguish me from the Rick 568 00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:41,800 that you had a falling-out with 569 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,644 by my fly-fishing enthusiasm and accompanying hat. 570 00:20:44,772 --> 00:20:45,933 I hope I can be of service 571 00:20:46,065 --> 00:20:48,102 if, uh, you ever find the planet to be in danger. 572 00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:49,099 Ff lends? 573 00:20:51,362 --> 00:20:52,978 Sounds good to me. 574 00:20:53,113 --> 00:20:54,524 Kids, dinner! 575 00:20:54,657 --> 00:20:55,897 I got Panda Express! 576 00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:57,068 Did you get sugar chicken? 577 00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:58,908 That's kind of the only thing they have. 578 00:20:59,036 --> 00:21:00,618 I love Panda E! Thanks, Mom! 579 00:21:00,746 --> 00:21:02,828 I'm hoping to get a piece of your sugar chicken later. 580 00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:05,119 [Laughs] Stop it. 581 00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:07,037 Here's your [burps] stupid hat, dipshit. 582 00:21:07,169 --> 00:21:09,251 Dad, you can't talk to Jerry that way anymore. 583 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:11,087 We're a real family now. 584 00:21:11,215 --> 00:21:13,206 In many ways, things will be like Season 1 585 00:21:13,342 --> 00:21:14,753 but more streamlined. 586 00:21:14,885 --> 00:21:16,842 Now Jerry and I are happily married parents, 587 00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:18,382 and the idea that I was motivated 588 00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:20,380 by a fear of you leaving can be eschewed. 589 00:21:20,516 --> 00:21:22,553 Eschewed? You've never used that word. 590 00:21:22,685 --> 00:21:24,016 Maybe you are a clone. 591 00:21:24,144 --> 00:21:26,181 [Laughs] It's not like Rick would tell us. 592 00:21:26,313 --> 00:21:28,350 [Laughter] 593 00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:34,068 [Dramatic music plays] 594 00:22:02,975 --> 00:22:05,717 Ooh-wee! What a season! 595 00:22:05,853 --> 00:22:08,390 Sorry I never showed up, but I got married. 596 00:22:08,522 --> 00:22:09,262 I had a baby. 597 00:22:09,398 --> 00:22:12,561 I went back to school and got my G-E-E-E-D. 598 00:22:12,693 --> 00:22:14,934 What did you do while you were waiting? 599 00:22:15,070 --> 00:22:18,688 Hopefully you didn't just fuck around and waste your life. 600 00:22:18,824 --> 00:22:20,235 Ooh-wee! 601 00:22:20,367 --> 00:22:24,952 See you for Season 4 in, like, a really long time! 602 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:29,165 I might even have a big white Santa Claus beard 603 00:22:29,293 --> 00:22:31,330 and -- and -- and a -- 604 00:22:31,462 --> 00:22:34,375 and a couple of grandkids 605 00:22:34,506 --> 00:22:36,497 and all that kind of stuff. 606 00:22:36,634 --> 00:22:38,716 See you -- See you then!