1
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:06,764
We're out of syrup.
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,082
Huh. You know what?
3
00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:10,441
Maybe I'll use my intern.
4
00:00:10,451 --> 00:00:12,867
- Glootie?
- Good?
5
00:00:12,868 --> 00:00:14,675
- Thanks, Glootie.
- Anything else?
6
00:00:14,676 --> 00:00:16,004
Do you want to develop an app?
7
00:00:16,005 --> 00:00:17,812
- No thanks, Glootie.
- Hey, what's up, Glootie?
8
00:00:17,813 --> 00:00:19,331
Hi, Morty. Do you want
to develop an app?
9
00:00:19,332 --> 00:00:20,709
- No thanks.
- Rick, why does it say,
10
00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,878
"Do not develop my app,"
on your intern's forehead?
11
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,206
Why, you want to develop one?
12
00:00:24,207 --> 00:00:25,445
Ah, I'm glad you asked that, Jerry.
13
00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:27,172
It's so you don't develop his app.
14
00:00:27,173 --> 00:00:29,371
Glootie, go make some photocopies
15
00:00:29,372 --> 00:00:30,380
- of something.
- Cool.
16
00:00:30,381 --> 00:00:32,713
Well, if anyone wants to develop
an app with me, I'm down.
17
00:00:32,714 --> 00:00:35,635
He seems to really want
to develop an app.
18
00:00:35,645 --> 00:00:37,652
He really does, sweetie,
but nobody's gonna do that.
19
00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:39,141
Now, if you'll excuse me,
20
00:00:39,142 --> 00:00:41,369
I've got a quick solo
adventure to go on,
21
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,427
and this one will not be directed
22
00:00:43,428 --> 00:00:45,045
- by Ron Howard.
- He's gonna go poop.
23
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,364
When Grandpa Rick
pats his belly like that
24
00:00:46,365 --> 00:00:48,002
and leaves without Morty, it
means he's going to go poop.
25
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:50,480
He's a shy pooper. He has
a secret pooping place.
26
00:00:50,481 --> 00:00:51,938
Man, [BLEEP] you, Summer.
27
00:00:51,939 --> 00:00:54,855
Honey, why can't you get
this excited about your SATs?
28
00:00:54,856 --> 00:00:57,602
Well, I'm man enough to simply
say, "I'm going to poop,"
29
00:00:57,603 --> 00:00:59,551
and I'd be honored to have
30
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,419
- Ron Howard involved.
- Good job, hon.
31
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,018
- Way to go, Dad.
- We're rooting for ya.
32
00:01:07,076 --> 00:01:08,681
He's really putting you to work, huh?
33
00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,941
Did you want to develop an app?
34
00:01:09,943 --> 00:01:12,318
- I'll pass, Glootie.
- Hmm, your loss.
35
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:13,937
Oh, yeah? Why's that?
36
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:15,475
Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop.
37
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,912
- Can I ask what it is?
- Of course you can.
38
00:01:17,913 --> 00:01:20,549
That's always the first
step in app development.
39
00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,506
Ah.
40
00:01:24,076 --> 00:01:25,455
50/50! Final offer!
41
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:57,194
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
42
00:02:48,862 --> 00:02:50,121
_
43
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:24,455
Reverse digestion extrapolation.
44
00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:27,171
Time to meet your maker.
45
00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:30,201
What are you guys doing?
46
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,671
Did you develop an app?
47
00:03:31,672 --> 00:03:33,736
Rule number one in app
development, son...
48
00:03:33,737 --> 00:03:34,835
never follow the rules.
49
00:03:34,836 --> 00:03:38,072
Except when the rule is tattooed
on an alien's forehead, Dad.
50
00:03:38,073 --> 00:03:39,835
Why do you think Rick
would have that rule?
51
00:03:39,836 --> 00:03:41,528
'Cause he's a disrupt-o-phobe.
52
00:03:41,529 --> 00:03:42,557
No, Dad, no.
53
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:44,379
To keep something
horrible from happening,
54
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:46,204
something he's too lazy to explain.
55
00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:48,005
Guys, we're getting our first users.
56
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:53,676
Whoa, this new app just matched me
57
00:03:53,677 --> 00:03:56,154
with a guy that is su my ty.
58
00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:58,391
Super my type. Learn to abbre.
59
00:03:58,392 --> 00:03:59,450
Hey!
60
00:03:59,451 --> 00:04:02,377
Your su ty works at Jersey Mike's
61
00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:04,385
and sees 25 Phish shows a year.
62
00:04:04,386 --> 00:04:06,933
- That is so Danny.
- Summer!
63
00:04:06,934 --> 00:04:08,202
- Danny?
- Summer Smith?
64
00:04:08,203 --> 00:04:09,750
Danny Publits from Lovefinderrz
65
00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:10,879
with two "R's" and a "Z"?
66
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,537
I ran all the way here while
staring at your profile.
67
00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,275
I tripped on a fire
hydrant and fell down,
68
00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,253
so I'm covered in gravel
that stuck to my sweat.
69
00:04:17,254 --> 00:04:18,392
And even after a shower,
70
00:04:18,402 --> 00:04:20,837
I'll still be into a jam
band for old junkies,
71
00:04:20,838 --> 00:04:22,967
but I think this world
cares too much about bands
72
00:04:22,968 --> 00:04:25,206
and too little about love.
73
00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:27,672
- And I think I love you.
- Me, too.
74
00:04:27,673 --> 00:04:30,180
Hi, I'm my underage daughter's mother.
75
00:04:30,181 --> 00:04:31,669
Nice to... whoa!
76
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:33,936
Come on. Just met.
77
00:04:33,937 --> 00:04:35,394
Uh, this isn't working.
78
00:04:35,395 --> 00:04:36,933
Wait. What are you...
79
00:04:36,934 --> 00:04:38,312
Never mind.
80
00:04:38,313 --> 00:04:41,169
I quit, I'm gay, and I love Xander.
81
00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,630
Stupid phones are destroying us.
82
00:04:44,726 --> 00:04:45,744
Hey, sweetie.
83
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,902
Honey, our daughter ran
off with a Frisbee golfer
84
00:04:47,903 --> 00:04:49,800
because of some app with a really dumb,
85
00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:51,099
really forgettable name.
86
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,776
Like a really dumb, uncreative,
super sweaty name.
87
00:04:54,786 --> 00:04:56,314
- _
- Anyway, I'll be late. I love you.
88
00:04:56,315 --> 00:04:58,621
Got it. I love you, too.
89
00:04:58,622 --> 00:05:01,030
Okay, Glootie, take the app down.
90
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,671
Can't take it down. I'm just an intern.
91
00:05:06,343 --> 00:05:08,461
Uh, that's not how apps work.
92
00:05:08,462 --> 00:05:10,200
Then make it how it works.
93
00:05:10,201 --> 00:05:13,157
This isn't how making things work works.
94
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:14,378
Get... get it off the server.
95
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:16,234
Y-You think we're stupid, but we're not.
96
00:05:16,235 --> 00:05:18,171
We know apps have something
to do with servers.
97
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:19,462
The server's on the mother ship.
98
00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:20,569
Where's the mother ship?
99
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,188
- It's coming.
- Take us to it.
100
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,046
- No.
- Yes. Shake him more, Morty.
101
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,275
- That was working.
- Take us to the mother ship.
102
00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:40,754
Okay, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.
103
00:05:40,755 --> 00:05:42,629
An ominous beeping app.
104
00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:44,806
You can't stay made at a
guy with this kind of talent.
105
00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,672
Dad, you can, and you have to.
106
00:05:49,991 --> 00:05:52,877
_
107
00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,796
- Ribbit, ribbit.
- Ribbit, ribbit.
108
00:05:54,806 --> 00:05:56,254
- Hey, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
- Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
109
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,671
Look at this guy. He
wants to eat me so bad.
110
00:05:58,672 --> 00:05:59,910
You want to eat me, don't you?
111
00:05:59,911 --> 00:06:01,928
- Ribbit.
- Just kidding. Have some drugs.
112
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:04,086
- Are you Vermigurber?
- What does this guy want?
113
00:06:04,087 --> 00:06:06,024
- Who is this monkey?
- I'm here about a sandwich.
114
00:06:06,025 --> 00:06:07,623
Oh, well you came to the right place...
115
00:06:07,630 --> 00:06:09,505
... 'cause you're about
to get a bullet sandwich
116
00:06:09,506 --> 00:06:12,317
on two slices of whole... gun.
117
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:15,046
You might want to get that.
118
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:17,803
Hello?
119
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,000
Dad, give the human whatever he wants.
120
00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:21,828
He knows where I live. He's crazy!
121
00:06:21,829 --> 00:06:24,445
You [BLEEP] idiot.
122
00:06:24,446 --> 00:06:27,629
I have 800,000 kids.
123
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:29,004
Don't forget your voicemail.
124
00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:34,056
You have 470,000 messages.
125
00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:35,714
Oh, ah, that's half of them.
126
00:06:35,715 --> 00:06:38,271
Okay, w-w-what do you
want? What do you want?
127
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,589
Wait, this is seriously
about sandwiches?
128
00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:42,907
I thought this was about drugs or guns
129
00:06:42,908 --> 00:06:45,125
or the fact that I'm a fly
that runs a frog restaurant.
130
00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:47,522
There's a million things that
are interesting about me,
131
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:48,821
and none of them are sandwiches.
132
00:06:48,822 --> 00:06:51,318
- Who ordered it?
- Talk to our delivery drone.
133
00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:53,837
He... he run off to fight
in the robot wars.
134
00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:57,412
Hey, ape man, I hope this was worth
135
00:06:57,413 --> 00:06:59,330
making a whole swarm of enemies.
136
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:02,668
It will be when I find
whoever shit in my toilet.
137
00:07:02,676 --> 00:07:05,924
Is that code for something?
Someone look that up.
138
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,523
If that's drug slang, I need to know it.
139
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:10,959
Ah!
140
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,056
- Mom, you can't stop true love.
- Oh, yes, I can.
141
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,694
- You're assaulting me!
- Keep your voice down.
142
00:07:15,695 --> 00:07:18,152
- I'm being assaulted!
- Oh, yeah? Okay.
143
00:07:18,153 --> 00:07:19,590
- Statutory rape!
- Whoa.
144
00:07:19,591 --> 00:07:20,730
My daughter's about to be raped!
145
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,009
No, I'm not! I'm being assaulted!
146
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:23,306
- Rape!
- Assault!
147
00:07:23,307 --> 00:07:25,584
- Rape!
- Nobody cares. It's a motel.
148
00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:27,442
Nobody's here because
their life's going so great
149
00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:29,180
they can afford to get
mixed up in yours.
150
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:30,584
Deal with this [BLEEP] on your own.
151
00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:33,256
You can't stop us from
getting a motel room.
152
00:07:33,257 --> 00:07:34,395
Fine. I'll get one, too.
153
00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:35,634
I'm getting the one next door,
154
00:07:35,635 --> 00:07:37,402
and I'm putting a glass to
the wall, and I'm listening.
155
00:07:37,403 --> 00:07:39,390
- Fine. Enjoy.
- I will.
156
00:07:39,391 --> 00:07:42,213
- I'm Danny, by the way.
- You had your chance, dick.
157
00:07:45,305 --> 00:07:48,481
- Take your app down.
- T-Take... take it down.
158
00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:49,760
- What?
- I'm their hostage.
159
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,778
- Do they have weapons?
- Nope, but neither do I.
160
00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:53,436
Do... do you have a weapon?
161
00:07:53,437 --> 00:07:54,955
No.
162
00:07:54,956 --> 00:07:56,473
- Take the app down.
- Take the app down.
163
00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:57,792
I can't. I'm an intern.
164
00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,801
Okay, well who tells interns what to do?
165
00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:01,129
Not you, that's for sure.
166
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,847
Take us to whoever does,
167
00:08:02,848 --> 00:08:05,045
or w-w-we'll... we'll punch you.
168
00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:06,563
Okay.
169
00:08:06,564 --> 00:08:08,072
Not bad, Morty.
170
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,900
Yeah, I don't know when the
other shoe's gonna drop,
171
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:12,463
but this is working pretty good so far.
172
00:08:12,464 --> 00:08:13,626
Greetings.
173
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,474
We are the Monogatrons.
174
00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:17,852
While your species was
still toying with fire,
175
00:08:17,853 --> 00:08:20,469
ours mastered the
science of functioning,
176
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:22,287
committed relationships.
177
00:08:22,288 --> 00:08:24,185
As the latest planet to develop our app,
178
00:08:24,186 --> 00:08:28,791
you will now witness the true
power of superior intimacy.
179
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:30,080
Take the app down.
180
00:08:30,081 --> 00:08:32,879
Take it down, or... we'll...
we'll... we'll punch you.
181
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,174
Is there someone with a gun or...
182
00:08:35,175 --> 00:08:36,513
It's on its way.
183
00:08:36,514 --> 00:08:37,542
The app remains up.
184
00:08:37,543 --> 00:08:39,170
So what's the evil plan?
185
00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:41,208
Does there have to be an evil plan?
186
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:43,626
- Oh, uh, uh...
- Uh, someone wanted a gun?
187
00:08:43,627 --> 00:08:44,985
I'll take it. Thanks.
188
00:08:44,986 --> 00:08:46,454
Here's the evil plan.
189
00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:47,673
- [BLEEP]
- Goddamn it.
190
00:08:47,676 --> 00:08:49,560
As a preapp civilization,
191
00:08:49,561 --> 00:08:52,467
your love's value is
defined by scarcity.
192
00:08:53,497 --> 00:08:55,404
You are highly trained to seek it,
193
00:08:55,405 --> 00:08:59,210
and you have no idea how to maintain it.
194
00:08:59,211 --> 00:09:01,609
Had you bothered to master love,
195
00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:05,128
you would've learned by now,
it is as abundant as water.
196
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,379
You know what isn't? Water.
197
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,460
That [BLEEP] runs out.
198
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,638
So we'll be taking yours.
199
00:09:11,639 --> 00:09:14,675
While your planet continues
to dick around with a, uh...
200
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,633
what is their version of it called?
201
00:09:16,634 --> 00:09:18,802
Lovefinderrz, with two "R's" and a "Z."
202
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,779
- Oof.
- Yeah, not my idea.
203
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:22,787
- Goddamn.
- Am I interrupting?
204
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:26,503
- Impossible. Here she is.
- Mwah.
205
00:09:26,504 --> 00:09:28,042
Your prisoners are getting away.
206
00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:29,820
Prisoners are just things.
207
00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:32,117
Connect with me. Tell me about your day.
208
00:09:32,118 --> 00:09:33,636
I had an incredible meeting.
209
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:36,836
Did you know humans are 80% water?
210
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,504
And I found a new podcast
we can listen to tonight.
211
00:09:39,505 --> 00:09:41,948
Love it. Okay, back to work.
212
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,671
Find and kill those earthlings.
213
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,437
We're outnumbered. There's no hope.
214
00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:54,705
Then we go out in glory.
215
00:09:54,706 --> 00:09:57,592
Flesh intruder, prepare to die.
216
00:09:57,593 --> 00:09:59,500
Oh, hold on.
217
00:09:59,501 --> 00:10:01,672
My apologies, Lieutenant Commander.
218
00:10:01,673 --> 00:10:03,797
No problem. At ease, Soldier.
219
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:08,761
Initiate Employee Evaluation Mode.
220
00:10:08,762 --> 00:10:11,438
- Accessing delivery archive.
- Okay, listen.
221
00:10:11,439 --> 00:10:13,336
You delivered an avian
protein club sandwich
222
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,294
with no lettu... Goddamn it.
223
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,990
Oy, scoping for this bit, then?
224
00:10:38,991 --> 00:10:41,268
Alright, a-a-alright.
I know you want to have
225
00:10:41,269 --> 00:10:42,958
the big guy/little guy fight, but...
226
00:10:42,964 --> 00:10:45,380
Aw, are you [BLEEP] kidding me?
227
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,520
Here at the Midland Quasar,
228
00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:50,879
where, in a complete upset,
229
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,007
the Robolution has
overturned the lizards.
230
00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:55,629
- It's totally unexpected.
- Uh, I understand, Mr. Phillips.
231
00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:57,802
Yes.
232
00:10:57,803 --> 00:10:59,750
I believe this is yours.
233
00:10:59,751 --> 00:11:03,186
You, uh... you dropped that.
234
00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:05,134
I'll have to call you back.
235
00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:06,803
Where do you want to die?
236
00:11:06,804 --> 00:11:09,294
Susan, is conference
room three available?
237
00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:12,757
Can I look at a photo of
my wife while you kill me?
238
00:11:12,758 --> 00:11:14,235
Sure, but I'm doing her a favor.
239
00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:15,374
She either has terrible taste,
240
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,592
or she's trapped in a
marriage to a toilet thief.
241
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,371
She's dead.
242
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,939
And I don't mind joining her.
243
00:11:20,943 --> 00:11:24,675
Life has been hollow since I lost her.
244
00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:27,142
Using your toilet was nice, though.
245
00:11:27,143 --> 00:11:28,797
I'm a bit of a shy pooper.
246
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,888
I'm ready when you are.
247
00:11:33,936 --> 00:11:35,655
Stay there.
248
00:11:38,602 --> 00:11:39,790
Tell him what you told me.
249
00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:40,890
What is this? What's happening?
250
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,027
Tell him what you told me.
251
00:11:42,028 --> 00:11:43,286
My wife's still alive.
252
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,544
Sh... sh... she went into
remission 10 years ago.
253
00:11:45,545 --> 00:11:46,643
And what did you do today?
254
00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:48,002
Oh, I, uh, pooped
255
00:11:48,009 --> 00:11:49,871
on a really awesome toilet I found...
256
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,337
oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh!
257
00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:54,555
Don't use your dead wife as an excuse.
258
00:11:54,556 --> 00:11:57,152
You [BLEEP] on my toilet because
you don't know your place,
259
00:11:57,153 --> 00:11:58,940
and your place is nothing.
260
00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:00,749
So next time you stumble onto a toilet
261
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:04,136
that feels too good for
your ass, trust me, it is.
262
00:12:04,143 --> 00:12:05,205
You're not gonna kill me?
263
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:06,873
Don't tell me what to do!
264
00:12:15,715 --> 00:12:17,392
♪ Now every time they play this song ♪
265
00:12:17,393 --> 00:12:19,970
♪ She say "This is my shit my shit" ♪
266
00:12:19,976 --> 00:12:21,987
♪ See the flick of my
wrist, of my wrist ♪
267
00:12:21,988 --> 00:12:23,526
- _
- ♪ And I know she know what's up ♪
268
00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:25,304
♪ Baby, this is my shit my shit ♪
269
00:12:25,305 --> 00:12:28,541
♪ See the flick of my wrist, my wrist ♪
270
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:32,170
Are you [BLEEP] kidding me?
271
00:12:32,171 --> 00:12:35,454
♪ When you in my section,
fill it up when my cup empty ♪
272
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,753
♪ I can't [BLEEP] with rats ♪
273
00:12:36,754 --> 00:12:40,110
♪ That's a fact, that's a dub [BLEEP] ♪
274
00:12:45,309 --> 00:12:47,332
Oh, so you like being alive?
275
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,200
So why the [BLEEP] are you back here?
276
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,045
After you left, I thought
about what you said
277
00:12:51,046 --> 00:12:52,638
and how much I needed to hear it,
278
00:12:52,643 --> 00:12:54,588
but then I thought about
why you were saying it,
279
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:56,153
who you were really saying it to.
280
00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:57,712
You need the same thing I needed, Rick.
281
00:12:57,713 --> 00:13:00,789
You need someone to give
you, permission to live.
282
00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,487
What the... ?
283
00:13:02,488 --> 00:13:04,003
I thought you were a shy pooper.
284
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:05,903
You know what shy pooping is, Rick?
285
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,841
It's a pointless bid for control.
286
00:13:07,842 --> 00:13:09,400
You want to take the one part of life
287
00:13:09,401 --> 00:13:11,558
that you truly think is yours,
and you want to protect it
288
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,165
from a universe that
takes whatever it wants.
289
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:15,714
It took my wife.
290
00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:17,752
It clearly took something from you.
291
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,810
We can spend our lives fighting that,
292
00:13:19,811 --> 00:13:21,170
or we can choose to be free.
293
00:13:21,171 --> 00:13:23,546
You're right, Tony. I'm done fighting.
294
00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,105
Time to be free.
295
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:27,147
Oh, wait, you're actually
gonna... Oh, God! Oh, God!
296
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:34,655
- Where am I?
- Hi, little mouse.
297
00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:37,253
Baby bee? I missed you so much.
298
00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,754
I never really left you.
299
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,549
Then you know that a few years ago
300
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,507
- I started getting into...
- Strap-on porn?
301
00:13:42,508 --> 00:13:44,445
Yes. I thought it was hot.
302
00:13:44,446 --> 00:13:46,363
- Now, come on.
- Where are you going?
303
00:13:46,364 --> 00:13:47,503
- To poop.
- Where?
304
00:13:47,505 --> 00:13:49,754
Wherever you want, forever.
305
00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:51,108
My God.
306
00:13:51,109 --> 00:13:52,295
You rang?
307
00:13:52,296 --> 00:13:54,545
I'm pooping, too.
308
00:13:54,546 --> 00:13:55,893
Come, Tony. Come on.
309
00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:58,255
Come poop with me. Poop with me, Tony.
310
00:13:58,256 --> 00:13:59,470
Poop with me.
311
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:00,968
What are you waiting for?
312
00:14:00,969 --> 00:14:02,906
Aren't you gonna join us, Tony?
313
00:14:02,907 --> 00:14:06,004
Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping?
314
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:23,466
Where are we? What is this?
315
00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:24,745
That's it. Get out.
316
00:14:24,746 --> 00:14:26,163
You can make a perfectly-realized,
317
00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:27,642
toilet-filled simulation of heaven,
318
00:14:27,643 --> 00:14:28,900
but you can't share a toilet?
319
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:30,259
Don't insult my craft.
320
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,598
The chemical is Globaflyn.
321
00:14:31,599 --> 00:14:33,377
It connects the
whatever-you-want section
322
00:14:33,387 --> 00:14:35,274
of your brain to the
whatever-you-have section.
323
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,452
If your heaven is
toilets, that's on you.
324
00:14:37,453 --> 00:14:38,750
All of these people...
325
00:14:38,751 --> 00:14:40,889
Are living their wildest,
meaningless dreams
326
00:14:40,899 --> 00:14:42,708
and leaving me out of them.
327
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:45,743
People you refuse to kill and
refuse to let into your life.
328
00:14:45,744 --> 00:14:49,080
An offer you rejected, so
here's your last chance.
329
00:14:49,081 --> 00:14:51,238
Goodbye forever. If you
touch my toilet again,
330
00:14:51,239 --> 00:14:52,437
- you die.
- You need a friend.
331
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:54,175
I have a million cooler
friends than you.
332
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:55,574
- I'll be seeing you.
- You'll be dying.
333
00:14:55,575 --> 00:14:57,586
- We're gonna be friends.
- You're gonna be dead.
334
00:14:57,587 --> 00:14:59,490
So, we fight our way to the gas line,
335
00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:00,948
we cut it, and then we set a fire.
336
00:15:00,949 --> 00:15:01,968
Okay. Alright.
337
00:15:01,978 --> 00:15:04,176
Morty, "Adventures of
Jerry and Morty," huh?
338
00:15:04,177 --> 00:15:05,763
- Put her there.
- Dad, look, y-you know,
339
00:15:05,764 --> 00:15:06,982
w-we don't need to high-five.
340
00:15:06,983 --> 00:15:09,100
It's... it's kind of your fault that
we're in this situation at all.
341
00:15:09,101 --> 00:15:10,878
I know, but, you know, come on.
342
00:15:10,879 --> 00:15:13,197
- "Adventures of Jerry and Morty."
- Okay.
343
00:15:26,244 --> 00:15:28,082
Mwah.
344
00:15:33,816 --> 00:15:35,375
Jeff, I can explain everything.
345
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:36,753
You don't have to.
346
00:15:36,754 --> 00:15:39,041
Can you just marry us instead?
347
00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:40,369
Jeff, don't do it!
348
00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:41,887
Richard.
349
00:15:41,888 --> 00:15:43,685
Maggie.
350
00:15:43,686 --> 00:15:46,663
- Running Bird.
- Let's get out of here.
351
00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:48,581
- Priest Witherspoon.
- Josiah?
352
00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:51,498
Let's get the [BLEEP] out of here.
353
00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:54,455
Summer Smith, let's get
the hell out of here.
354
00:15:54,456 --> 00:15:56,373
You had me at my own name.
355
00:15:56,374 --> 00:15:58,750
Oh, yeah, no. Why would I... ?
356
00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:01,747
Summer! [BLEEP] thing.
357
00:16:01,748 --> 00:16:03,754
Come on. I can't steer this.
358
00:16:06,304 --> 00:16:08,361
What in the hell are you doing?
359
00:16:08,362 --> 00:16:10,569
- Parenting.
- That's not how I did it.
360
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,358
Yeah, where's your daughter?
361
00:16:12,368 --> 00:16:14,165
Ah, you're right.
362
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:15,547
She joined ISIS.
363
00:16:18,012 --> 00:16:21,148
It's Glootie, and he's
had a change of heart.
364
00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:22,417
And he's going to set us free.
365
00:16:22,418 --> 00:16:24,905
Actually, he's been blamed
for bringing you aboard
366
00:16:24,909 --> 00:16:26,170
and assigned to execute you.
367
00:16:26,171 --> 00:16:27,702
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
368
00:16:27,709 --> 00:16:30,169
What would your girlfriend
think of you murdering?
369
00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,037
I happen to be between
relationships right now.
370
00:16:32,038 --> 00:16:35,184
Really? I thought your species
had perfected relationships.
371
00:16:35,185 --> 00:16:36,193
- Here.
- We're not allowed
372
00:16:36,194 --> 00:16:38,011
- to use those apps.
- I wonder why.
373
00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:40,795
Yeah, that's what I thought, Glootie.
374
00:16:40,796 --> 00:16:43,266
Looks like you and I...
375
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,745
... are all we've got.
376
00:16:47,642 --> 00:16:49,080
I'm not helping you any more than that,
377
00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:50,199
but if you can find the hangar,
378
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,908
grab a ship and get
the hell out of here.
379
00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,237
Where you going, Glootie?
380
00:16:53,243 --> 00:16:56,234
I've got a date with
dumping a dating app.
381
00:16:56,243 --> 00:16:58,251
Glootie-ootie-ooh!
382
00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:00,269
- Was that ever his thing?
- No.
383
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,287
- He never exited that way.
- No, first time.
384
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,885
Dad, I want to say something.
385
00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:06,574
I started today disgusted and
embarrassed to be your son,
386
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:08,131
and then later I thought
we were gonna die
387
00:17:08,132 --> 00:17:09,750
because you're a loser.
388
00:17:11,243 --> 00:17:12,906
- There's no more, is there?
- Nope.
389
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,879
Now quit [BLEEP] up, and let's go.
390
00:17:16,174 --> 00:17:18,431
Is Tony here? I br...
I brought him some, uh,
391
00:17:18,432 --> 00:17:20,678
Vegan Fiber Chili,
delicious family recipe,
392
00:17:20,679 --> 00:17:22,666
and a box of these, uh,
chocolates, sugar free.
393
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,165
He can eat as many of these as he wants.
394
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:25,963
Anyways, uh, just wanted
to drop these off,
395
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:28,600
and you tell him, uh,
the toilet's all his.
396
00:17:28,601 --> 00:17:29,960
H-He... he'll know what I mean.
397
00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:31,712
Tony died.
398
00:17:32,957 --> 00:17:35,254
- Excuse me?
- He quit his job,
399
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,571
starting living life to the fullest.
400
00:17:37,572 --> 00:17:38,930
He crashed into a tree
401
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:41,128
space-skiing down Mount Space Everest.
402
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:42,287
[BLEEP]
403
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:45,105
There's a Mount Space Everest?
404
00:17:45,109 --> 00:17:49,170
Okay. Uh, Jesus.
I-I got to process this.
405
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:50,778
Oh, no, no. You... you
don't want to eat that.
406
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,998
Y-y-you'll... you'll... you'll become
407
00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:53,935
the opening of "The
Beverly Hillbillies."
408
00:17:53,936 --> 00:17:56,173
You know what I'm saying?
A little bubbling crude?
409
00:17:56,174 --> 00:17:58,311
- Texas tea?
- I don't know these references.
410
00:17:58,312 --> 00:17:59,970
Yeah, but you have a Space Everest?
411
00:17:59,977 --> 00:18:02,067
Watch "Space Beverly Hillbillies"
412
00:18:02,068 --> 00:18:04,587
so my jokes can land,
you [BLEEP] [BLEEP].
413
00:18:20,689 --> 00:18:21,968
Now what?
414
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:23,246
Happily ever after.
415
00:18:23,247 --> 00:18:24,724
And after that?
416
00:18:24,725 --> 00:18:26,703
We'll find out together.
417
00:18:26,709 --> 00:18:29,711
Summer how many soul mates
is that in the last week?
418
00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:32,628
Four. You can't stop me from
loving who I love, Mom.
419
00:18:32,629 --> 00:18:34,035
Oh, the [BLEEP] I can't.
420
00:18:34,036 --> 00:18:36,073
I'm gonna mother you
until your 18th birthday,
421
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,901
even if I get thrown in prison
for non-consensual mothering.
422
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,038
And even then, I will break out,
423
00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,266
come to your house, kick down your door,
424
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:46,003
and mother your [BLEEP] face
out of your stupid asshole.
425
00:18:46,004 --> 00:18:48,003
I'm gonna daughter your
brains out, bitch.
426
00:18:59,421 --> 00:19:00,498
Mother [BLEEP].
427
00:19:00,499 --> 00:19:02,367
That's my name. Don't wear it out.
428
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,841
Gimme dat new soul mate.
429
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,309
Ad wall?
430
00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:13,836
[BLEEP] this.
431
00:19:13,837 --> 00:19:15,711
- Ad wall?
- What, they want us to pay for it now?
432
00:19:15,712 --> 00:19:17,255
Ugh, ad wall?
433
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,498
Come on, Mom. Let's go home.
434
00:19:22,457 --> 00:19:24,494
Great. We lost Earth.
435
00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,243
We aren't defined by what we do,
436
00:19:26,244 --> 00:19:27,841
and we only need each other.
437
00:19:27,842 --> 00:19:29,739
Each other... and water.
438
00:19:29,740 --> 00:19:30,753
There's no water?
439
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,277
Honey, the whole point
of conquering Earth...
440
00:19:32,278 --> 00:19:34,176
I know the point of conquering Earth.
441
00:19:34,177 --> 00:19:36,233
- Don't talk to me like...
- Like I'm thirsty?
442
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:39,230
Like I'm your mother,
you childish prick.
443
00:19:39,231 --> 00:19:40,708
How much water are you sucking
444
00:19:40,709 --> 00:19:42,347
through these stupid [BLEEP]
tubes on your back?
445
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,670
These tubes are cool,
and I want a divorce.
446
00:19:44,671 --> 00:19:48,710
You can have one for a
glass of Goddamn water.
447
00:19:48,711 --> 00:19:52,896
Look, uh, on the off-chance
that you used the app
448
00:19:52,897 --> 00:19:56,174
and there's someone out there
waiting for you, I, uh...
449
00:19:56,177 --> 00:19:59,170
Jerry, I didn't use it. Did you?
450
00:19:59,171 --> 00:20:01,827
Me? No. God, of course not.
451
00:20:01,828 --> 00:20:03,716
Well, then, we're all good, dawg.
452
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,696
Hey, uh... Hey, uh, Tony's dad,
453
00:20:12,697 --> 00:20:16,293
uh, th-this is, um, $8 billion
in your local currency,
454
00:20:16,294 --> 00:20:19,909
and, uh, this is a kit you
can use to clone a new son.
455
00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:21,667
He... he won't have the same brain.
456
00:20:21,668 --> 00:20:24,524
He'll kind of be an animal man,
but you can teach him stuff.
457
00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:25,903
I-I-I also wanted to let you know
458
00:20:25,904 --> 00:20:27,541
I did explore infinite universes,
459
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:30,002
and there is a version of
Tony that was completely evil
460
00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:31,638
and ended up causing a lot of genocide
461
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:32,896
because of how fulfilled he was.
462
00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:34,994
So, really, a lot of
ways of looking at this
463
00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:37,372
as not much of a loss.
464
00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:38,730
I understand.
465
00:20:38,731 --> 00:20:41,838
It's, uh, hard losing a friend.
466
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:43,086
- [BLEEP] you.
- What?
467
00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:44,794
He's not my friend.
468
00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:05,024
There he is. There's our guy.
469
00:21:05,025 --> 00:21:06,104
Congrats, Tony.
470
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:07,721
Have fun with your stupid toilet
471
00:21:07,722 --> 00:21:09,839
that you get to use all by yourself now.
472
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,097
Enjoy using it all by
yourself while you sit there
473
00:21:12,098 --> 00:21:13,815
and think about how nobody
wants to be around you
474
00:21:13,816 --> 00:21:15,373
and how you ruined it for yourself
475
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:16,902
because you're a huge piece of [BLEEP].
476
00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:17,911
Look at you sitting there,
477
00:21:17,912 --> 00:21:20,254
King Shit on his throne of loneliness.
478
00:21:20,255 --> 00:21:22,566
Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me
479
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,865
screaming every time you take a [BLEEP].
480
00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:27,042
All hail his majesty,
481
00:21:27,043 --> 00:21:31,169
the sa-a-ddest piece of
garbage in the entire cosmos.
482
00:21:31,177 --> 00:21:34,435
Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy.
483
00:21:34,442 --> 00:21:37,711
May his reign last 1,000 years.
484
00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:41,671
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
485
00:22:10,569 --> 00:22:13,585
Rick, did you take the Tapatío?
486
00:22:13,586 --> 00:22:16,103
Hmm, Globaflyn?
487
00:22:18,361 --> 00:22:19,529
Thanks.
488
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,708
- I could never lift it up.
- No problem.
489
00:22:21,709 --> 00:22:25,212
I'll be able to drink water
for weeks because of you.
490
00:22:25,213 --> 00:22:27,213
It's just part of my job, ma'am.
491
00:22:28,561 --> 00:22:31,637
Breaker one nine, this is Jerry Smith.
492
00:22:31,638 --> 00:22:33,455
Uh, just finished my first
delivery of the day.
493
00:22:33,456 --> 00:22:34,837
900 more to go.