1
00:00:01,874 --> 00:00:09,191
♪♪
2
00:00:09,215 --> 00:00:16,398
♪♪
3
00:00:16,422 --> 00:00:19,067
- Aah, aah!
- (SCREECHES)
4
00:00:19,091 --> 00:00:25,073
♪♪
5
00:00:25,097 --> 00:00:26,341
Oh, my god.
6
00:00:26,365 --> 00:00:27,662
Holy (BLEEP) oh.
7
00:00:27,686 --> 00:00:28,995
What are...
What are these things?!
8
00:00:29,019 --> 00:00:30,078
Do I look like I know?
9
00:00:30,102 --> 00:00:32,206
Last thing I remember, I was,
ugh, in a cave.
10
00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:34,416
Looking at some wet egg and...
Oh, that probably did it.
11
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,750
I told you not to look
at that egg!
12
00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:37,085
I-it was too wet.
13
00:00:37,109 --> 00:00:38,420
You don't get to tell me
what to look at.
14
00:00:38,444 --> 00:00:39,688
I've seen your pornhub account.
15
00:00:39,712 --> 00:00:41,289
Also, who makes
a pornhub account?
16
00:00:41,313 --> 00:00:43,491
The algorithm learns your
preferences better that way.
17
00:00:43,515 --> 00:00:45,494
Plus if you get in kind
of a cool enough relationship,
18
00:00:45,518 --> 00:00:47,095
You can sort
of follow each other.
19
00:00:47,119 --> 00:00:48,563
And check out
each other's kinks, you know?
20
00:00:48,587 --> 00:00:50,037
Alright, god damn, sold.
21
00:00:50,061 --> 00:00:51,639
- How do we get out of here?
- Morty, relax.
22
00:00:51,663 --> 00:00:52,894
They're face-hugging parasites.
23
00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:55,613
I don't think their society's
gonna be that hard to navigate.
24
00:00:57,529 --> 00:01:00,642
Okay, yeah, this might be
a little harder than I thought.
25
00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:03,512
Holy (BLEEP)
they've got an m&m's store.
26
00:01:03,536 --> 00:01:10,519
♪♪
27
00:01:10,543 --> 00:01:17,259
♪♪
28
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:24,266
♪♪
29
00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:29,271
♪♪
30
00:01:29,295 --> 00:01:31,423
♪♪
31
00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:37,396
♪♪
32
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,814
This is bad, Rick.
Th-th-th-th-this is really bad.
33
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,149
Just be cool, Morty.
34
00:01:41,173 --> 00:01:42,551
All we gotta do is blend in,
find our ship,
35
00:01:42,575 --> 00:01:44,286
And get the (BLEEP) outta here.
36
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,288
Alright, Morty, here's the plan,
put this back on your face.
37
00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:49,157
I-I'm not putting that back
on my face! Relax. It's dead.
38
00:01:49,181 --> 00:01:51,226
(SCREECHES)
39
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,627
Okay, now it's dead.
40
00:01:52,651 --> 00:01:55,564
Come on, hurry up.
41
00:01:55,588 --> 00:01:56,565
Rick, I-it's bleeding.
42
00:01:56,589 --> 00:01:57,763
I-it's bleeding acid.
43
00:01:57,787 --> 00:01:59,367
Alright, well, that should
be the last of it.
44
00:01:59,391 --> 00:02:02,036
If not, then just gimme
two tugs on the arm.
45
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:05,373
(SCREAMS)
46
00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:07,442
Seems like a self-destructive
life cycle.
47
00:02:07,466 --> 00:02:08,710
Is that gonna happen to us?
48
00:02:08,734 --> 00:02:10,044
You feel an egg in your stomach?
49
00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:12,981
- No.
- Well, glass half full.
50
00:02:13,005 --> 00:02:14,382
How's it going?
'Sup.
51
00:02:14,406 --> 00:02:15,584
- Glory to glorzo.
- Totally.
52
00:02:15,608 --> 00:02:16,785
Love glorzo.
53
00:02:16,809 --> 00:02:18,587
Glorzo is peace.
54
00:02:18,611 --> 00:02:19,922
Peace is glorzo.
55
00:02:19,946 --> 00:02:22,390
Wow, just cogs in the machine,
y'know?
56
00:02:22,414 --> 00:02:24,259
- Ma-makes you think...
- Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this.
57
00:02:24,283 --> 00:02:26,194
Into a beautiful short film
that your parents'll pay for,
58
00:02:26,218 --> 00:02:28,130
Morty, but right now, we really
just need to find my ship.
59
00:02:28,154 --> 00:02:29,932
You sure you're not
just jealous?
60
00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,066
Looks like I'm kind of
a celebrity around here.
61
00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:33,936
Glorzo Morty: The future is glorzo!
62
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,739
Oh, my god.
I was just reading you.
63
00:02:36,763 --> 00:02:39,474
Congratulations on making it
into print media.
64
00:02:39,498 --> 00:02:40,875
Real bright future there.
65
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,745
Honestly, it's shocking to see
the two of you together.
66
00:02:42,769 --> 00:02:44,747
Because we're both geniuses?
67
00:02:44,771 --> 00:02:46,548
No, because I've seen
your videos,
68
00:02:46,572 --> 00:02:48,350
And you make me (BLEEP) sick.
69
00:02:48,374 --> 00:02:50,470
Fix him.
70
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:53,388
Glory to glorzo.
71
00:02:53,412 --> 00:02:54,889
Sir, you shouldn't
wander off like that.
72
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,164
We've been looking
all over for you.
73
00:02:56,188 --> 00:02:57,826
The project is ready
for your approval.
74
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,561
Sir, is this man bothering you?
75
00:02:59,585 --> 00:03:00,963
Um, no, h-he's fine.
76
00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:02,831
Uh, what... what project?
77
00:03:02,855 --> 00:03:05,233
Jesus christ,
who the (BLEEP) was I?
78
00:03:05,257 --> 00:03:08,703
Here's a scientific fact
I'm not allowed to say...
79
00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:13,107
Our hosts are biologically
designed to incubate our eggs.
80
00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:15,310
If that "triggers" you,
(BLEEP) off.
81
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:16,979
If it doesn't,
please like and subscribe.
82
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,981
New videos every glorzday.
83
00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:20,448
God,
was I at least rich?
84
00:03:20,472 --> 00:03:22,117
I mean, d-d-did
I at least sell out.
85
00:03:22,141 --> 00:03:23,518
And sell vitamins or something?
86
00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,120
Rick, I've watched enough
pornhub to know.
87
00:03:25,144 --> 00:03:26,721
What a studio apartment
looks like.
88
00:03:26,745 --> 00:03:28,190
God damn.
89
00:03:28,214 --> 00:03:30,725
Jesus, your glorzo got
(BLEEP) done.
90
00:03:30,749 --> 00:03:33,528
My lord,
we await your command.
91
00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:34,663
Oh, to...
92
00:03:34,687 --> 00:03:36,398
Shoot it?
A-at people?
93
00:03:36,422 --> 00:03:37,732
Glorzo is peace.
94
00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:39,401
All shall be made glorzo.
95
00:03:39,425 --> 00:03:41,536
SOLDIERS: Glory to glorzo.
96
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,937
I... Did this?
97
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:46,541
You and the amazing technology
you both brought us.
98
00:03:46,565 --> 00:03:47,942
Yeah, makes sense.
99
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,077
A-and where was this heading?
100
00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:50,078
Earth?
Probably earth?
101
00:03:50,102 --> 00:03:51,946
The humans call it "earth."
102
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,148
Yeah, well, okay,
first of all, great work.
103
00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,950
You guys obviously put a lot
of work into this.
104
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,686
Okay.
And y'know, it shows.
105
00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,621
I-it really shows.
But um...
106
00:03:59,645 --> 00:04:01,089
I-I've been thinking,
and, you know,
107
00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,158
Maybe we should
just call this off.
108
00:04:03,182 --> 00:04:04,827
Sorry, is... is there more?
109
00:04:04,851 --> 00:04:06,028
Nope, nope.
110
00:04:06,052 --> 00:04:08,096
I-I guess, uh, that...
That's it.
111
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,033
Just don't glorzo earth.
112
00:04:11,057 --> 00:04:13,768
Just would've been nice
to have heard this sooner.
113
00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:15,237
Before we spent all day on it.
114
00:04:15,261 --> 00:04:17,572
Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing
about it, too.
115
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:18,973
You ordered it.
Right.
116
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,442
I-I did, and, um...
117
00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:22,310
I'm just saying for next time,
maybe put more thought.
118
00:04:22,334 --> 00:04:24,178
Into it before a whole day of...
119
00:04:24,202 --> 00:04:26,180
Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you
do your job for a (BLEEP) day!
120
00:04:26,204 --> 00:04:27,315
You look like you were
all really busy.
121
00:04:27,339 --> 00:04:29,051
Before I came
and (BLEEP) it all up.
122
00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:30,118
Boy, oh boy, huh?
This guy's a genius, but at...
123
00:04:30,142 --> 00:04:31,520
But at what price,
you know?
124
00:04:31,544 --> 00:04:32,654
Y'know, (BLEEP) you,
Rick!
125
00:04:32,678 --> 00:04:35,057
Who's... Rick?
126
00:04:35,081 --> 00:04:36,591
Yeah, well, if we're free
to ask questions,
127
00:04:36,615 --> 00:04:39,394
Why haven't you blinked,
uh, for 20 minutes,
128
00:04:39,418 --> 00:04:43,449
And why, uh, doesn't
your mouth move when you talk?
129
00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:47,001
Ah, geez, look at me.
130
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,803
I-I feel down on...
On... on the floor.
131
00:04:48,827 --> 00:04:51,339
Oh, let... let me, uh, help...
Help you out here, buddy.
132
00:04:51,363 --> 00:04:53,475
Ah, thanks, man.
Thanks, pal. That's right.
133
00:04:53,499 --> 00:04:57,497
I'm right back where... where...
Right back in the saddle here.
134
00:04:59,906 --> 00:05:02,016
Alright,
(BLEEP) it, run.
135
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,685
(GLORZOS SCREECHING)
136
00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:11,709
♪♪
137
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:19,984
♪♪
138
00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:24,038
(GLORZOS SCREECHING)
139
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,974
I-I hate this!
I hate all of this!
140
00:05:25,998 --> 00:05:27,642
Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback
coming, Morty.
141
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:29,377
It can only help.
142
00:05:29,401 --> 00:05:33,782
♪♪
143
00:05:33,806 --> 00:05:36,184
Oh, (BLEEP)
aw, man!
144
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,786
How big is this city?!
145
00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:39,187
I know,
it's like pick a lane.
146
00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:41,641
Are you face huggers
or industrialists?
147
00:05:44,016 --> 00:05:46,128
Damn, feels kinda good
when there's no guilt, huh?
148
00:05:46,152 --> 00:05:47,796
Yeah, it's...
It's like in "star wars."
149
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:49,063
Yeah, just like
in "star wars."
150
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,933
Go nuts!
151
00:05:50,957 --> 00:05:54,402
♪♪
152
00:05:54,426 --> 00:05:56,404
Nice, Morty! Give a little
"yee-haw" if you want.
153
00:05:56,428 --> 00:05:58,607
They... they always do a little
"yee-haw" like a cowboy.
154
00:05:58,631 --> 00:05:59,741
Yee... yee-ha... yee-haw.
155
00:05:59,765 --> 00:06:01,476
Good enough.
156
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:09,500
♪♪
157
00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:12,487
God, I needed this.
158
00:06:12,511 --> 00:06:14,022
Honestly, it's been a while
since I've been able.
159
00:06:14,046 --> 00:06:15,223
To just let loose,
you know?
160
00:06:15,247 --> 00:06:16,691
Just have fun.
I'm... I'm...
161
00:06:16,715 --> 00:06:18,493
I'm sorry if I've been
taking it out on you.
162
00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:20,895
No, I get it. You got a lot
on your plate, amigo.
163
00:06:20,919 --> 00:06:22,164
I-I just wish you'd open up.
164
00:06:22,188 --> 00:06:23,498
To me more about it
sometimes, you know?
165
00:06:23,522 --> 00:06:25,099
I-I-I'm your partner.
Thanks, Morty.
166
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:26,501
I mean that.
Thank you.
167
00:06:26,525 --> 00:06:28,036
Sometimes, I get a little
in my head, you know?
168
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,438
Hey, man, that head's
a good place to be.
169
00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:31,840
Just remember to let me
in sometimes, you know?
170
00:06:31,864 --> 00:06:34,108
Will do, buddy.
Mother (BLEEP)
171
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:38,046
♪♪
172
00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,648
Oh, my god,
this is so much fun!
173
00:06:39,672 --> 00:06:40,915
I don't want to stop!
174
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:42,769
Yeah, it's like
popping bubble wrap.
175
00:06:52,151 --> 00:06:54,062
Honestly,
I'm proud of us for not.
176
00:06:54,086 --> 00:06:55,730
Totally.
It would've been cheap.
177
00:06:55,754 --> 00:06:58,852
Yeah, real low-hanging fruit,
and we're batter than that.
178
00:07:00,426 --> 00:07:02,270
Pearl harbor,
on the other hand...
179
00:07:02,294 --> 00:07:04,858
Yeah,
I think that's in-bounds.
180
00:07:08,634 --> 00:07:10,012
I am the god of death!
181
00:07:10,036 --> 00:07:12,732
Should've been a better species!
182
00:07:17,109 --> 00:07:18,821
(BOTH LAUGH)
183
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:21,089
So, you did a 9/11?
184
00:07:21,113 --> 00:07:22,290
Almost did a 9/11.
185
00:07:22,314 --> 00:07:23,958
We... we went with
a pearl harbor.
186
00:07:23,982 --> 00:07:25,160
We're pretty classy.
187
00:07:25,184 --> 00:07:27,496
Why were either of those
an option?
188
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,763
Ask the saudis.
189
00:07:28,787 --> 00:07:29,764
Wow. Damn.
190
00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:31,033
Yeah,
getting political.
191
00:07:31,057 --> 00:07:32,567
I'm political now.
How 'bout you, jerry?
192
00:07:32,591 --> 00:07:35,103
You got anything to add
to the family dynamic?
193
00:07:35,127 --> 00:07:37,957
I've been getting into
beekeeping lately.
194
00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:42,511
Is something wrong
with that?
195
00:07:42,535 --> 00:07:43,645
What's wrong with that?
196
00:07:43,669 --> 00:07:45,848
Don't I have the right
to be happy? To exist?
197
00:07:45,872 --> 00:07:47,582
I'm sorry I didn't 9/11
198
00:07:47,606 --> 00:07:49,984
Pearl harbor before breakfast,
but I have a life, too!
199
00:07:50,008 --> 00:07:51,586
I have dreams!
And how's summer?
200
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:54,456
Did she have fun, too?
201
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,324
Oh.
Uh-um.
202
00:07:56,348 --> 00:07:58,126
Summer...
Was...
203
00:07:58,150 --> 00:07:59,528
With us.
204
00:07:59,552 --> 00:08:00,595
There.
205
00:08:00,619 --> 00:08:02,997
You saw us take her
in the car with us.
206
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,333
Mm, yes.
Yes, yes, of course.
207
00:08:05,357 --> 00:08:06,535
Th-that's what happened.
208
00:08:06,559 --> 00:08:08,481
- And now she's...
- Sleepy.
209
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:10,539
Um, she's... she's sleepy.
210
00:08:10,563 --> 00:08:12,206
Really sleepy.
That's why she's not here.
211
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,475
So sleepy.
212
00:08:13,499 --> 00:08:14,877
She's sleepy?!
213
00:08:14,901 --> 00:08:16,010
What the hell was that?!
214
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:17,612
I didn't see you trying
anything!
215
00:08:17,636 --> 00:08:19,281
(BLEEP) the bed isn't better
than not (BLEEP) the bed!
216
00:08:19,305 --> 00:08:21,501
Where's summer?!
217
00:08:23,976 --> 00:08:25,687
Geez.
Oh, man.
218
00:08:25,711 --> 00:08:27,489
You know, maybe we went
too hardcore on these guys.
219
00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:28,891
Yeah, why do you think
we never go back.
220
00:08:28,915 --> 00:08:30,425
To a place we've already been?
221
00:08:30,449 --> 00:08:31,693
Do you know how many adventures
we could get out.
222
00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:33,095
Of purge planet, Morty?
Gear world?
223
00:08:33,119 --> 00:08:34,963
I don't sequel.
It's called integrity.
224
00:08:34,987 --> 00:08:36,231
Here, put this back
on your face.
225
00:08:36,255 --> 00:08:39,052
You kept it?
Oh, did you want a new one?
226
00:08:40,927 --> 00:08:42,104
- 'Sup?
- Yo.
227
00:08:42,128 --> 00:08:43,705
Oh, (BLEEP)
it's them!
228
00:08:43,729 --> 00:08:45,908
The worst thing
to ever happen to us!
229
00:08:45,932 --> 00:08:47,375
Yeah, that makes sense.
230
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:48,710
Sorry, Morty,
we tried pussin' it.
231
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:49,912
Time to go in hot.
232
00:08:49,936 --> 00:08:52,581
Rickputer, initiate
unnecessarily badass suit-up.
233
00:08:52,605 --> 00:08:58,052
♪♪
234
00:08:58,076 --> 00:09:03,726
♪♪
235
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,327
Let's lick (BLEEP)
236
00:09:05,351 --> 00:09:12,601
♪♪
237
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:14,202
Shouldn't we be finding summer?
238
00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,404
Oh, right, gee, sorry.
I got caught up again.
239
00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:18,140
God, d-do I need
to take more adderall,
240
00:09:18,164 --> 00:09:20,408
Or am I taking
too much adderall?
241
00:09:20,432 --> 00:09:27,816
♪♪
242
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,152
Man, really shouldn't have gone
with swords.
243
00:09:30,176 --> 00:09:32,020
I know.
My wrists are killing me.
244
00:09:32,044 --> 00:09:34,489
Flame-throwers next time,
for sure.
245
00:09:34,513 --> 00:09:35,890
Can I get a laser whip?
246
00:09:35,914 --> 00:09:40,162
Okay, but there's no way
you don't chop your dick off.
247
00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:42,697
Sum sum, come with us
if you want to live...
248
00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:45,099
At a lower standard than this,
I guess.
249
00:09:45,123 --> 00:09:46,368
God damn.
250
00:09:46,392 --> 00:09:49,103
Empress, is everything alright?
Ummm...
251
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:50,238
Seize them!
252
00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:51,573
Seize them?!
What?!
253
00:09:51,597 --> 00:09:53,960
Summer, you bitch!
You gotta be kidding me!
254
00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:57,612
E seize them?!
What?! I've seen ♪
255
00:09:57,636 --> 00:09:58,881
You know that song,
Rick?
256
00:09:58,905 --> 00:10:00,082
From the...
When the prisoners sing it?
257
00:10:00,106 --> 00:10:01,550
Come on, Morty,
for (BLEEP) sake.
258
00:10:01,574 --> 00:10:04,486
It's my jail time.
I-I can spend it however I want.
259
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:06,421
(HARMONICA PLAYING)
260
00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:07,956
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!
Hey, hey, hey!
261
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,091
Not in here!
Not in here!
262
00:10:09,115 --> 00:10:11,744
Aw...
Gimme that.
263
00:10:13,385 --> 00:10:15,430
Leave us.
264
00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:17,165
What the (BLEEP)
took you so long?!
265
00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:19,101
You left me here. We
didn't know you were with us!
266
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:20,969
Do you know how much (BLEEP)
I've had to deal with?
267
00:10:20,993 --> 00:10:22,437
You're in a cape, summer.
268
00:10:22,461 --> 00:10:23,438
How bad could it be?
269
00:10:23,462 --> 00:10:25,574
No bad story ends with a cape.
270
00:10:25,598 --> 00:10:29,844
You don't know anything
about my story.
271
00:10:29,868 --> 00:10:32,781
"I couldn't help but wonder,
was gharkhul really capable."
272
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:34,382
Of consuming a living sun,
273
00:10:34,406 --> 00:10:37,119
Or was I simply getting
too close to gharkhul?
274
00:10:37,143 --> 00:10:38,787
"Was gharkhul consuming me?"
275
00:10:38,811 --> 00:10:40,188
Rick, can we listen
to something else?
276
00:10:40,212 --> 00:10:41,990
Quiet! She's just about
to summon gharkhul.
277
00:10:42,014 --> 00:10:43,725
She's been talking about
summoning gharkhul.
278
00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:45,059
For three episodes,
summer.
279
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:46,861
Wait a minute,
what's that in your mouth?
280
00:10:46,885 --> 00:10:48,263
It's a toothpick.
281
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:49,932
I'm a toothpicker now.
Get used to it.
282
00:10:49,956 --> 00:10:51,934
God, are you that desperate
for a thing?
283
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,668
It is my thing.
284
00:10:53,692 --> 00:10:56,871
Just like yours is dying alone
and yours is jerking off.
285
00:10:56,895 --> 00:10:59,808
At least jerking off tracks
for my character, you know?
286
00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:02,277
I like to jerk off.
I'm 14. I own it.
287
00:11:02,301 --> 00:11:03,545
Well, I jerk off, too!
Alright, stop.
288
00:11:03,569 --> 00:11:05,347
Jesus chris, I don't wanna think
about that (BLEEP)
289
00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:06,815
Summer, keep your toothpick.
Gross!
290
00:11:06,839 --> 00:11:08,483
Morty, stop talking to
your sister about jerking off.
291
00:11:08,507 --> 00:11:10,084
Everyone pretend podcasting
isn't boring.
292
00:11:10,108 --> 00:11:12,672
(CREATURE CAWING)
293
00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:15,223
Whoa, Morty, look how
wet this egg is.
294
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:17,225
I dunno, Rick.
That looks a little too wet.
295
00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:18,693
D-don't touch it.
Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
296
00:11:18,717 --> 00:11:20,162
Why are you guys screaming
at an egg?
297
00:11:20,186 --> 00:11:21,496
Shut up, summer!
Just let us look at an egg!
298
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,765
Yeah, summer,
shut the (BLEEP) up.
299
00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:24,166
(BLEEP)
(BLEEP) nobody wants you here.
300
00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:25,834
You know, sometimes we like
to go on adventures.
301
00:11:25,858 --> 00:11:27,169
And look at wet eggs,
you know? Can we just go?
302
00:11:27,193 --> 00:11:28,503
This place is giving me
the creeps.
303
00:11:28,527 --> 00:11:29,772
Holy (BLEEP)
I love this egg.
304
00:11:29,796 --> 00:11:31,105
Hey, look,
mine's doing it, too.
305
00:11:31,129 --> 00:11:33,708
Are you guys sure that's safe?
306
00:11:33,732 --> 00:11:35,777
Oh, my god!
307
00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:39,448
(SCREECHES)
308
00:11:39,472 --> 00:11:41,634
All is glorzo.
309
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,389
All is glorzo.
310
00:11:47,413 --> 00:11:48,923
(SCREECHES)
311
00:11:48,947 --> 00:11:50,192
- God.
- God.
312
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:52,194
God?
She has a toothpick.
313
00:11:52,218 --> 00:11:54,396
Take it out and put her face
in an egg.
314
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:55,730
- God.
- God.
315
00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:57,866
For (BLEEP) sake, how long
have you been hatched?
316
00:11:57,890 --> 00:11:59,067
30 seconds?
317
00:11:59,091 --> 00:12:01,336
I've been alive seven minutes.
318
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,605
Think before you...
excuse me, seven minutes?
319
00:12:03,629 --> 00:12:05,874
Uh, I've been here
for 29 minutes.
320
00:12:05,898 --> 00:12:07,876
But yes, take the toothpick
out of her mouth.
321
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:11,546
Suck on her face this instant
and use her body to...
322
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:14,334
(SCREAMS)
323
00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:16,819
What was that?
324
00:12:16,843 --> 00:12:19,153
That is called responsibility.
325
00:12:19,177 --> 00:12:21,023
He was part of
our greatest generation.
326
00:12:21,047 --> 00:12:24,292
He understood that what you need
to do is suck on a face,
327
00:12:24,316 --> 00:12:26,160
Shit an egg, and die.
328
00:12:26,184 --> 00:12:27,962
Wait, so, all you do is live
half an hour,
329
00:12:27,986 --> 00:12:29,342
Shit eggs, and die?
330
00:12:29,366 --> 00:12:30,765
Yes.
We love it.
331
00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:32,100
I'll do it right now.
332
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,768
(GRUNTING)
333
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:36,104
(SCREAMS)
334
00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:38,306
Okay, you guys don't have
to listen to me,
335
00:12:38,330 --> 00:12:40,242
But I vote you don't do that?
336
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:43,396
And who's up for
changing things around here?
337
00:12:44,937 --> 00:12:50,919
♪♪
338
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:54,923
♪ Well, I was hatched from
an egg laid by some guy ♪
339
00:12:54,947 --> 00:12:57,726
♪ 'Cause that is glorzo's way
340
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:01,996
♪ and then it came time
to lay my own egg and die ♪
341
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,265
♪ But summer, she said
342
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:08,871
♪ "hey, glorzo
wants you to stay" ♪
343
00:13:08,895 --> 00:13:11,874
♪ Glory to glorzo
344
00:13:11,898 --> 00:13:15,277
♪ means glory to me
345
00:13:15,301 --> 00:13:16,811
♪ if we're only making eggs
346
00:13:16,835 --> 00:13:20,883
♪ are we ever making
glorzo free? ♪
347
00:13:20,907 --> 00:13:23,752
Alright, look, uh, this (BLEEP)
been brewing for a while.
348
00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:26,621
I'm not gonna win any popularity
contests by saying it,
349
00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:28,957
But here's...
Here's the world as I see it.
350
00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:32,427
♪ And for all we know
everything we've known ♪
351
00:13:32,451 --> 00:13:36,364
♪ Is just some shit
we made up ♪
352
00:13:36,388 --> 00:13:39,167
♪ Glory to glorzo
353
00:13:39,191 --> 00:13:42,504
♪ means glory to me
354
00:13:42,528 --> 00:13:44,639
♪ we got too many eggs
and not enough society ♪
355
00:13:44,663 --> 00:13:46,775
I mean, look, we are designed
to suck on faces and lay eggs.
356
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:49,711
Life is life,
and that's the way it goes.
357
00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:55,850
♪♪
358
00:13:55,874 --> 00:13:57,532
Hello, troy.
Hello, jez.
359
00:13:57,556 --> 00:13:59,387
How is it going?
Really good, commander.
360
00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:00,989
Should be ready by tomorrow.
361
00:14:01,013 --> 00:14:02,257
That is what I like to hear.
362
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:04,459
Great work,
glory to glorzo.
363
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:07,596
Honestly, summer,
I can't thank you enough.
364
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,198
When we met, we were just
shitting eggs in a cave,
365
00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:13,201
But you showed us life
is about more than that.
366
00:14:13,225 --> 00:14:14,869
It is about living.
367
00:14:14,893 --> 00:14:16,605
And now,
with these missiles,
368
00:14:16,629 --> 00:14:19,474
We will be able to reach
the entire universe.
369
00:14:19,498 --> 00:14:23,612
We say it all the time,
but I guess all is glorzo.
370
00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:24,747
Yeah, that sounds great.
371
00:14:24,771 --> 00:14:26,481
And you've been great.
Yeah.
372
00:14:26,505 --> 00:14:28,483
You've been so great
that I've been thinking.
373
00:14:28,507 --> 00:14:30,953
Maybe it's time for you
to get off my brother.
374
00:14:30,977 --> 00:14:32,554
Who's your brother?
375
00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:33,488
Oh, this?
376
00:14:33,512 --> 00:14:35,023
Forgot he was there, haha.
377
00:14:35,047 --> 00:14:36,691
Wait.
What are you saying?
378
00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:38,427
I'm saying that you've
been great, steve,
379
00:14:38,451 --> 00:14:40,963
But we've been thinking
it's time for a new chapter.
380
00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:42,965
We?
Uh, this is shane.
381
00:14:42,989 --> 00:14:44,433
He'll be handling
the day-to-day.
382
00:14:44,457 --> 00:14:46,100
It's an honor to meet you, sir.
383
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:49,922
I might only be two minutes old,
but I know you're a legend.
384
00:14:50,128 --> 00:14:51,373
She doesn't care about us.
385
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:53,508
She just wants her (BLEEP)
host back.
386
00:14:53,532 --> 00:14:56,110
I don't know what to do.
Oh, now you want my help.
387
00:14:56,134 --> 00:14:57,657
- Too late for that.
- Come on, man.
388
00:14:57,681 --> 00:14:58,824
What is this (BLEEP)
389
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,048
You don't get to do this to me.
390
00:15:00,072 --> 00:15:01,316
We were in eggs together.
391
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,717
Oh, (BLEEP) since
we were in eggs.
392
00:15:02,741 --> 00:15:04,119
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
now you respect, like,
393
00:15:04,143 --> 00:15:05,988
The biological institutions now?
394
00:15:06,012 --> 00:15:07,189
(BLEEP) you.
All you care about.
395
00:15:07,213 --> 00:15:09,724
Is "progress"
and society and skyscrapers.
396
00:15:09,748 --> 00:15:11,526
You don't care about
(BLEEP) biology.
397
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:13,033
Oh, yeah, well,
what the (BLEEP)
398
00:15:13,057 --> 00:15:15,838
You... how you you haven't laid
and egg inside this old man yet?
399
00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:17,065
Because I do what I want.
400
00:15:17,089 --> 00:15:18,400
Because someone's gotta
stand up for what's right.
401
00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:19,668
Why do you hate her so much?
402
00:15:19,692 --> 00:15:23,205
Because she took you away
from me!
403
00:15:23,229 --> 00:15:25,140
Whoa, man.
Jesus christ.
404
00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:27,809
No, I-I didn't, I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
405
00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:30,012
It's cool.
406
00:15:30,036 --> 00:15:32,465
I feel the same way.
407
00:15:36,308 --> 00:15:38,286
Oh, my god, I...
408
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,888
I wish we could suck
on each other.
409
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:42,491
I wanna suck on you, too.
I'm gonna suck you so hard.
410
00:15:42,515 --> 00:15:44,226
Suck me.
C-c-can we do this?
411
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:45,694
A-a-are we allowed to do this?
412
00:15:45,718 --> 00:15:47,762
I don't care.
I just want you.
413
00:15:47,786 --> 00:15:48,630
(BLEEP) all of this.
414
00:15:48,654 --> 00:15:50,165
Let's just get the hell
outta here.
415
00:15:50,189 --> 00:15:52,167
And be whatever
the (BLEEP) we want.
416
00:15:52,191 --> 00:15:54,636
That's evolution.
That's progress.
417
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:57,572
I want a family.
Can we have a family.
418
00:15:57,596 --> 00:15:59,626
Yeah.
419
00:16:06,939 --> 00:16:09,035
- Aah, aah!
- (SCREECHES)
420
00:16:15,013 --> 00:16:16,124
Oh, my god.
421
00:16:16,148 --> 00:16:17,926
Holy (BLEEP)
oh.
422
00:16:17,950 --> 00:16:20,194
What are... what are these
things?! Do I look like I know?
423
00:16:20,218 --> 00:16:22,464
Hey, wait a second.
How'd you know that last part?
424
00:16:22,488 --> 00:16:24,399
You weren't there for that.
I had to fill in some gaps.
425
00:16:24,423 --> 00:16:26,601
Everyone around the office
knew about steve and bruce.
426
00:16:26,625 --> 00:16:30,539
I've got a plan, okay.
You just have to follow my lead.
427
00:16:30,563 --> 00:16:33,007
The punishment is...
428
00:16:33,031 --> 00:16:34,342
Death.
Mother (BLEEP) summer!
429
00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:36,411
You said you had a plan!
Silence.
430
00:16:36,435 --> 00:16:38,613
The council of glorzos
has spoken.
431
00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:40,014
More like council of (BLEEP)
432
00:16:40,038 --> 00:16:42,217
- Glorzo is law.
- Silence.
433
00:16:42,241 --> 00:16:44,953
The punishment is death.
434
00:16:44,977 --> 00:16:47,355
By...
Getting their car.
435
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:49,157
Summer?
Shut up.
436
00:16:49,181 --> 00:16:51,894
Yes, place them in the car.
437
00:16:51,918 --> 00:16:53,161
Those pieces of (BLEEP)
438
00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:54,763
No, no, no!
This is like torture.
439
00:16:54,787 --> 00:16:56,899
No, I-I-I-I hate being
in my car.
440
00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:59,501
You deserve it,
you pieces of (BLEEP)
441
00:16:59,525 --> 00:17:01,703
And to make sure
the sentence is passed,
442
00:17:01,727 --> 00:17:03,705
I shall be joining them.
443
00:17:03,729 --> 00:17:04,839
In the car.
444
00:17:04,863 --> 00:17:07,976
And we shall drive away
from here and die.
445
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,377
Oooookay.
446
00:17:09,401 --> 00:17:10,979
Guess what, everybody.
447
00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:13,782
It's me, the whiny guy
you never want to hear from.
448
00:17:13,806 --> 00:17:16,050
She's trying to escape
with her family.
449
00:17:16,074 --> 00:17:17,119
My time to shine.
450
00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:18,587
Execute her.
451
00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:21,256
Okay, plan b.
Morty, now.
452
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,925
(HARMONICA PLAYS)
453
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:24,927
Aah!
454
00:17:24,951 --> 00:17:26,528
Jesus, Morty, that sucks.
455
00:17:26,552 --> 00:17:27,930
Alright, stop playing,
Morty.
456
00:17:27,954 --> 00:17:29,264
I-I got this.
457
00:17:29,288 --> 00:17:30,733
(HARMONICA PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS)
458
00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:32,000
Aah!
459
00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:34,187
(GLORZOS GASPING, SCREAMING)
460
00:17:36,829 --> 00:17:39,341
GLORZO: This is what we get
for evolving?
461
00:17:39,365 --> 00:17:41,409
Sorry!
Sorry.
462
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,678
I-I'm sorry. We... we...
We thought you were evil.
463
00:17:43,702 --> 00:17:45,213
Why would you think that?
464
00:17:45,237 --> 00:17:48,350
We had a giant tower
that blared "glorzo is peace."
465
00:17:48,374 --> 00:17:50,619
I know.
I... should... should we help?
466
00:17:50,643 --> 00:17:51,954
- Boo!
- Oh, like that's helping.
467
00:17:51,978 --> 00:17:53,888
Got it. Going.
Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
468
00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:56,959
You're... you're just going?
You told us to go!
469
00:17:56,983 --> 00:17:59,494
Once again,
I'm so sorry for what they...
470
00:17:59,518 --> 00:18:01,095
You're part of this, too.
Boo!
471
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:02,297
We hate you the most.
472
00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:04,366
Get out.
473
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:06,168
Jesus, summer,
why'd you let these things.
474
00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:07,369
Stay on us for so long?
475
00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:08,903
I was working with a lot.
476
00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:11,991
Just let me listen
to the podcast next time.
477
00:18:16,068 --> 00:18:17,712
Nailed that landing.
478
00:18:17,736 --> 00:18:19,447
(GRUNTS)
479
00:18:19,471 --> 00:18:21,916
Huh.
Neat-looking egg.
480
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:24,304
(GLORZO SCREECHES)
481
00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:29,457
Okay, well, I'm not
cleaning up this (BLEEP)
482
00:18:29,481 --> 00:18:32,645
(GRUNTS)
aah!
483
00:18:36,222 --> 00:18:39,001
Maybe we, uh... maybe we don't
tell people about this one.
484
00:18:39,025 --> 00:18:40,602
Did we at least learn something?
485
00:18:40,626 --> 00:18:43,005
That we suck and everyone sucks?
486
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:45,807
I guess that counts.
487
00:18:45,831 --> 00:18:47,075
Later, chodes.
488
00:18:47,099 --> 00:18:49,095
Hit me on the next one.
489
00:18:51,437 --> 00:18:52,815
You know, Rick,
I'm sure you wanna jump.
490
00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:55,484
Into another crazy adventure,
but can we just relax.
491
00:18:55,508 --> 00:18:57,352
And maybe watch
some interdimensional cable?
492
00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:59,421
I'm cool if you are.
Honestly, that sounds great.
493
00:18:59,445 --> 00:19:01,023
W-we don't need to try so hard,
you know.
494
00:19:01,047 --> 00:19:02,891
Let's just take it easy
and riff, you know.
495
00:19:02,915 --> 00:19:05,360
That's what I love about us.
Me, too, buddy.
496
00:19:05,384 --> 00:19:07,229
MAN: Do you suffer
from alzheimer's?
497
00:19:07,253 --> 00:19:08,831
Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
498
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:10,632
Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
499
00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:11,900
Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
500
00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:13,768
- Reggie?
- Do you suffer from alzheimer's?
501
00:19:13,792 --> 00:19:15,237
MAN #2: Reggie,
you alright in there? (GROWLING)
502
00:19:15,261 --> 00:19:17,572
Mm, Rick, do you feel...
503
00:19:17,596 --> 00:19:20,108
Oh, god,
I have to shit an egg.
504
00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:21,309
Oh, my god,
oh, (BLEEP)
505
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,852
Oh, it hurts.
Oh god,
506
00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:23,914
Is this how we die, Rick?
507
00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:26,633
- I don't know, Morty. I don't know! Aah!
- Is this how we die?!
508
00:19:26,657 --> 00:19:28,468
- I don't want to (BLEEP) an egg,
- Rick! I'm sorry, Morty.
509
00:19:28,492 --> 00:19:30,311
I'm sorry! It's my fault.
It's all my fault!
510
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,448
Hey, you two. Did you...
511
00:19:31,472 --> 00:19:33,783
Beth, your son is dying!
Say goodbye!
512
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:36,445
What are you... say
goodbye to your little boy!
513
00:19:36,469 --> 00:19:37,232
No, look away!
514
00:19:37,256 --> 00:19:38,993
I'm making an egg, mom.
I'm making an egg!
515
00:19:39,017 --> 00:19:41,663
You said you'd keep me more
in the loop this year.
516
00:19:41,687 --> 00:19:44,132
Look away, beth!
Daddy loves you!
517
00:19:44,156 --> 00:19:45,400
My ass!
My ass!
518
00:19:45,424 --> 00:19:46,601
This is it, Morty!
519
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,270
It's full circle from the pilot.
520
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:49,538
Full circle!
521
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,406
(BOTH SCREAM, FART)
522
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,807
(GRUNTS)
523
00:19:52,831 --> 00:19:55,209
(SIGHS)
524
00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:56,811
Oh, I guess we, uh...
525
00:19:56,835 --> 00:19:58,012
I guess we both just had
to take a (BLEEP)
526
00:19:58,036 --> 00:19:59,882
Yeah,
I-I-I guess we, uh...
527
00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:01,149
(BLEEP) gross.
528
00:20:01,173 --> 00:20:03,151
Guys, clean it up.
529
00:20:03,175 --> 00:20:09,958
♪♪
530
00:20:09,982 --> 00:20:17,031
♪♪
531
00:20:17,055 --> 00:20:23,838
♪♪
532
00:20:23,862 --> 00:20:28,911
♪♪
533
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:34,501
♪♪
534
00:20:35,073 --> 00:20:37,319
(BEES BUZZING)
look at your dad.
535
00:20:37,343 --> 00:20:40,789
Such a dork,
keeping bees.
536
00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,925
I mean, it's... at least
it's interesting, though.
537
00:20:42,949 --> 00:20:46,246
At least, like...
I wish my dad kept bees.
538
00:20:46,753 --> 00:20:48,263
I mean,
it's kind of cute.
539
00:20:48,287 --> 00:20:53,268
Like...
Your dad keeps bees.
540
00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:55,537
How old is your dad?
541
00:20:55,561 --> 00:21:00,144
He's obviously
beekeeping age.
542
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:03,664
I don't know,
I think it's kind of sweet.
543
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:07,404
Summer, I want to
(BLEEP) your dad.
544
00:21:07,428 --> 00:21:08,991
Oh, really?