1
00:00:10,139 --> 00:00:11,299
Oh, shit, I almost parked.
2
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,342
- Hey, Morty, hold on, Wat-watch this.
- _
3
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:23,231
- Uh-huh.
- Well, I thought it was cool.
4
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,813
So. We should be in and out.
5
00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:26,935
Simple exchange, not even
really an adventure.
6
00:00:26,936 --> 00:00:28,877
And if anything goes wrong...
which it won't...
7
00:00:28,878 --> 00:00:30,779
jump into the same vat
of acid I jump into.
8
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,085
Okay. Wait... Wait, what?
9
00:00:32,086 --> 00:00:33,842
- Wha-What vat of acid?
- What, Morty!
10
00:00:33,843 --> 00:00:35,103
Close the door.
11
00:00:35,104 --> 00:00:36,324
I pre-scouted this location
12
00:00:36,325 --> 00:00:38,447
and placed a vat of fake
acid amongst the real ones.
13
00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:40,937
It's got air hoses and a compartment
of bones at the bottom.
14
00:00:40,938 --> 00:00:42,871
If things go wrong, which they won't,
15
00:00:42,872 --> 00:00:44,192
we jump into the vat of acid,
16
00:00:44,193 --> 00:00:45,834
and I'll release the bones,
they'll float up...
17
00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:48,437
- What is this face you're making?
- Aren't you an inventor?
18
00:00:48,438 --> 00:00:51,059
Yeah, what part of a fake acid
vat with built-in air supply
19
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,306
and quick-release bones isn't
inventive enough for you,
20
00:00:53,307 --> 00:00:55,624
and when did my job become
pitching you ideas?
21
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,686
All right! Let's just do this.
22
00:00:57,687 --> 00:00:59,868
- I have English homework.
- You're still learning English?
23
00:00:59,869 --> 00:01:01,560
That's the language you speak.
24
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,662
How dumb are you?
25
00:01:06,836 --> 00:01:09,038
Interesting choice of
meeting place, Rick.
26
00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:10,599
You like it? My grandson had notes.
27
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,807
- Come on.
- Show him the crystals, Morty.
28
00:01:18,025 --> 00:01:19,938
I'll make lots of money with these.
29
00:01:19,939 --> 00:01:21,323
I'll make lots of those with these.
30
00:01:21,324 --> 00:01:22,951
Well. Those are fake.
31
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,830
- Oh, Jesus [BLEEP] Christ. Come on.
- You gotta be kidding me. Seriously?
32
00:01:24,831 --> 00:01:26,875
You brought fake crystals and a gun?
33
00:01:26,876 --> 00:01:28,712
Beats real crystals and no gun.
34
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,300
Okay, but does anything beat
fake crystals and a fake arm?
35
00:01:31,301 --> 00:01:33,610
Whoa, do you know who I am?!
36
00:01:33,611 --> 00:01:35,852
Even if you kill me, you're a dead man.
37
00:01:35,853 --> 00:01:36,983
Are you serious?
38
00:01:36,984 --> 00:01:38,425
Morty, he's right. We're screwed.
39
00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:40,087
Let's just end it. Quick death, come on.
40
00:01:40,088 --> 00:01:42,700
Aw, man. Oh!
41
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,578
Eh!
42
00:01:44,579 --> 00:01:47,375
Holy [BLEEP]. What the [BLEEP]?
43
00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:52,942
_
44
00:01:54,844 --> 00:01:57,917
- Holy [BLEEP].
- What kind of psycho...?
45
00:01:57,925 --> 00:01:59,609
His own grandson?
46
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:03,031
Guess he took your
threat pretty serious.
47
00:02:03,032 --> 00:02:04,366
Yeah, but it just...
48
00:02:04,367 --> 00:02:05,864
doesn't make any sense.
49
00:02:05,865 --> 00:02:07,744
Well, he was a scientist.
50
00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:09,438
Maybe he knew more about acid,
51
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:12,080
maybe it's like the most
painless way to go.
52
00:02:12,081 --> 00:02:14,222
How could that have been painless?
53
00:02:14,223 --> 00:02:16,925
You saw that pause before
the bones floated up,
54
00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:19,889
that had to be five seconds
of unparalleled torture.
55
00:02:19,899 --> 00:02:22,108
I... I can't get my head around it.
56
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:25,612
I-I thought I'd seen
this galaxy at its darkest.
57
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,887
This is... This is gonna
take a while to feel normal.
58
00:02:28,888 --> 00:02:30,539
We're pretty good listeners, boss.
59
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,461
Drinks are on us if
you want to talk it out.
60
00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:36,194
Thanks, but...
what happened, it happened here.
61
00:02:36,195 --> 00:02:37,546
I don't want to lose the moment.
62
00:02:37,547 --> 00:02:38,647
Take your time, boss.
63
00:02:38,648 --> 00:02:40,348
We'll stay here as long as you want.
64
00:02:40,349 --> 00:02:42,811
Absolutely. I got nowhere to be.
65
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:15,323
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
66
00:03:15,324 --> 00:03:18,507
_
67
00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:20,709
And then little Tommy FlimFlam's
68
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,521
running down the Hyperloop.
69
00:03:22,522 --> 00:03:25,353
His ass is on fire from Xenon fluid,
70
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:28,457
but his AI hologram is
[BLEEP] his own pee [BLEEP].
71
00:03:29,937 --> 00:03:32,340
- Great story, boss.
- Really detailed.
72
00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:34,373
Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em.
73
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,471
All right. I think I'm ready
to deal with the world now.
74
00:03:37,472 --> 00:03:38,607
Let's get out of here.
75
00:03:38,608 --> 00:03:41,297
Should we drop our buddy
in here before we go?
76
00:03:41,298 --> 00:03:42,601
Yeah, probably a good idea.
77
00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:43,942
- _
- Should we use a different vat?
78
00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:46,896
Does acid lose its acid power
the more it dissolves?
79
00:03:46,906 --> 00:03:48,457
What am I, an acidologist?
80
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:49,978
Here, grab that ratlike creature,
81
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,123
we'll do a little test.
82
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:56,132
Look, if you're going to test
the damn acid, don't use a rat,
83
00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:59,469
take that ladle, grab a spoonful,
and put it in the analyzer.
84
00:04:02,145 --> 00:04:03,151
- Oh!
- Hey!
85
00:04:03,152 --> 00:04:04,162
Oh!
86
00:04:04,163 --> 00:04:06,278
Okay, I'd say that's pretty acidy.
87
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,477
Drop him in.
88
00:04:08,988 --> 00:04:10,739
What are you doing?
89
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:13,389
- You said...
- Not the rat! The guy!
90
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,401
Ooh! Marone!
91
00:04:15,402 --> 00:04:17,566
Look at the size of
the bones on that rat!
92
00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:20,639
Oh! How many sets of bones this rat got?
93
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,378
And look how the smaller
ones are shaped!
94
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,012
They're like little cartoon bones,
95
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,150
like if you drew a bone in art class!
96
00:04:26,151 --> 00:04:27,524
All right, that tears it.
97
00:04:27,525 --> 00:04:29,117
I'm canceling the rest of my night
98
00:04:29,118 --> 00:04:30,719
and calling a bone scientist.
99
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,898
We're getting to the bottom of this...
100
00:04:31,899 --> 00:04:34,022
Jesus [BLEEP] Christ, enough already!
101
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,403
- Oh!
- Hey!
102
00:04:35,404 --> 00:04:38,174
Whoa!
103
00:04:53,202 --> 00:04:55,625
Can we go?
104
00:04:57,747 --> 00:04:59,112
The [BLEEP] is wrong with you?
105
00:04:59,113 --> 00:05:00,829
Just admit it was a shitty idea!
106
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:01,911
Having a grandson?
107
00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:03,560
A vat of fake acid!
108
00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:04,963
Are you dying of dementia?
109
00:05:04,964 --> 00:05:06,374
How are you talking to me like this?
110
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:07,656
Wh-When did you get so cocky?
111
00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:09,337
Tonight! Tonight, Rick!
112
00:05:09,338 --> 00:05:10,519
The night I saw you fail!
113
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,821
- Because you ruined it!
- It was pre-ruined!
114
00:05:12,822 --> 00:05:14,150
Oh, was it worse than
when I was a pickle?
115
00:05:14,151 --> 00:05:15,952
Oh-oh-oh that's right,
you weren't there for that.
116
00:05:15,953 --> 00:05:17,466
Turned out kind of cool.
117
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,267
- Maybe there's a connection there.
- Excuse me?
118
00:05:19,268 --> 00:05:21,550
What's that cool thing
you did without me again?
119
00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:24,232
The awesome thing?
I-I-I guess you wanted a dragon?
120
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:25,794
Mwah. Unforgettable.
121
00:05:25,795 --> 00:05:27,165
- God, [BLEEP] you.
- Timely, too,
122
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:30,116
you really got in on that "Game of
Thrones" fever right at the peak.
123
00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:32,681
You trying as hard as you
can to hurt me right now
124
00:05:32,682 --> 00:05:35,022
- proves my point.
- I'll let you know when you have a point
125
00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:37,446
and the world will know
when I try to hurt you.
126
00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:39,968
Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk.
127
00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:41,998
Hey, save some of these
atomic-age beatnik zingers
128
00:05:41,999 --> 00:05:43,890
for your English homework, Bukowski.
129
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,855
There's no such thing
as a bad idea, Morty.
130
00:05:47,856 --> 00:05:49,689
It's about execution.
131
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,291
No such thing as a bad idea?
132
00:05:53,292 --> 00:05:55,063
Except all of mine, right?
133
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:57,033
Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea.
134
00:05:57,034 --> 00:05:58,292
I'm not talking about that!
135
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:00,437
I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick,
136
00:06:00,438 --> 00:06:02,190
and you act like they're not
even worth thinking about!
137
00:06:02,191 --> 00:06:03,732
What, the helicopter lawn chair?
138
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:05,181
That's just something you saw on TV.
139
00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:07,770
What about my video-game-style
place-saving device?
140
00:06:07,771 --> 00:06:10,999
Oh, my God, here we go.
141
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,381
It's a good idea, Rick!
A device that lets you...
142
00:06:13,382 --> 00:06:14,943
Save your place like in a video game,
143
00:06:14,944 --> 00:06:16,485
but in real life so
that you can try stuff
144
00:06:16,486 --> 00:06:17,806
and then go back to your save point,
145
00:06:17,807 --> 00:06:19,708
yes, Morty, I saw it on "Futurama."
146
00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:21,630
Oh, so you don't do anything
unless it's original?
147
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,391
- I don't do time travel.
- It's not time travel,
148
00:06:23,392 --> 00:06:25,469
- it's saving a place in time...
- Oh, my God,
149
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,923
is this what you think I do?
150
00:06:26,924 --> 00:06:28,979
This is where the heavy
lifting happens in your mind?
151
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,919
Do you have any idea
how much [BLEEP] work
152
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,141
- would have to go into a machine that...
- Ah-ha!
153
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:36,785
- You can't do it!
- I can do anything, Morty.
154
00:06:36,786 --> 00:06:39,331
- Your idea is not worth doing.
- You can't do it.
155
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,030
Before what you're trying
to do was called "negging,"
156
00:06:42,031 --> 00:06:43,760
it was called "reverse psychology,"
157
00:06:43,761 --> 00:06:46,221
and incels didn't invent
it, Bugs Bunny did.
158
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,765
- You can't do it.
- There is nothing I cannot do.
159
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:51,037
- A place-saving video-game thing!
- You're a piece of [BLEEP].
160
00:06:51,038 --> 00:06:52,681
- Just say you can't do it!
- I won't!
161
00:06:52,682 --> 00:06:53,702
You won't say you can't?
162
00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:55,063
- [BLEEP] you, Morty!
- [BLEEP] you!
163
00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:57,554
[BLEEP] you!
164
00:06:57,555 --> 00:06:58,581
Son of a bitch.
165
00:07:03,162 --> 00:07:05,625
- So are you gonna...
- Yes, I'm gonna [BLEEP] do it!
166
00:07:07,717 --> 00:07:09,478
Rick, it's 3:00 a.m.
167
00:07:09,479 --> 00:07:11,399
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
W-Why'd you call me?
168
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,942
You were right, Morty.
169
00:07:12,943 --> 00:07:14,608
I failed. I can't make it.
170
00:07:14,609 --> 00:07:16,344
And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed.
171
00:07:16,345 --> 00:07:18,326
That might be why I've been
so aggressive and unfair
172
00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,158
- about rejecting your ideas.
- Rick...
173
00:07:20,159 --> 00:07:21,608
A fake acid vat, Morty?
174
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,602
Maybe I've lost it.
Maybe I never had it.
175
00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,313
Hey. C'mon. Y-You know
I didn't mean it that way.
176
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,345
I just think we need to find
better ways to communicate.
177
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,325
I'm sorry. I just...
I lash out sometimes.
178
00:07:29,326 --> 00:07:31,860
I-I-I don't know why I do that!
I'm so ashamed of myself.
179
00:07:31,861 --> 00:07:33,101
Hearing you talk about the vat...
180
00:07:33,102 --> 00:07:34,232
it really opened my eyes.
181
00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:35,824
- Like what the [BLEEP] am I even doing?
- Hey. Hey.
182
00:07:35,825 --> 00:07:38,074
I don't like hearing this talk.
You're a great inventor.
183
00:07:38,075 --> 00:07:39,846
We just got a couple things to work on.
184
00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:41,648
Let's start with inventing
a little honesty.
185
00:07:41,649 --> 00:07:43,792
- Sound good?
- Thank you, Morty. Sounds good.
186
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,173
- Or maybe I'll just kill you.
- What?
187
00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,496
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick...
188
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,941
- Because I [BLEEP] did it!
- Oh-ho-ho!
189
00:07:52,942 --> 00:07:54,583
- Booya!
- Holy [BLEEP].
190
00:07:54,584 --> 00:07:56,364
- You did it! You did it!
- I did it, you little son of a bitch!
191
00:07:56,365 --> 00:07:58,106
- How did you...
- Morty, do you want me to explain,
192
00:07:58,107 --> 00:07:59,297
or you wanna go have some fun?
193
00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:00,370
I wanna have some fun!
194
00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:01,651
Oh, my God.
195
00:08:01,661 --> 00:08:03,375
Rick, this is... this is... thank you!
196
00:08:03,376 --> 00:08:04,821
You can thank me later. Go nuts.
197
00:08:04,822 --> 00:08:06,062
Best grandpa ever!
198
00:08:06,063 --> 00:08:07,635
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
199
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:10,759
All right, class,
200
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,021
I know I've been absent for
most of this school year.
201
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,038
I'll be honest with you...
during spring break,
202
00:08:15,039 --> 00:08:16,485
I attended a renaissance faire
203
00:08:16,486 --> 00:08:20,073
and fell in love with a buxom
hand-axe juggler half my age.
204
00:08:20,074 --> 00:08:22,010
I overplayed my interest
in her lifestyle
205
00:08:22,011 --> 00:08:23,256
just to get closer to her,
206
00:08:23,257 --> 00:08:24,833
traveling the country with her troupe,
207
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:27,804
and I am embarrassed to say
I am now an expert blacksmith
208
00:08:27,805 --> 00:08:30,076
with several STDs and a broken heart.
209
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,675
I beseech your nasty little asses
210
00:08:31,676 --> 00:08:33,341
to speak on the matter no further.
211
00:08:33,342 --> 00:08:36,082
Now that that's out of the way,
who wants to do some math?
212
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,251
- I'll do it.
- A bold move, Morty Smith.
213
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:39,277
But can you deliver?
214
00:08:39,278 --> 00:08:41,128
Oh, I've got something to deliver.
215
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,741
Ahh!
216
00:08:42,742 --> 00:08:44,601
Oh, God. What the hell!
217
00:08:44,602 --> 00:08:46,294
Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing.
218
00:08:46,295 --> 00:08:48,475
Oh, my God, what's wrong with your dick?
219
00:08:48,476 --> 00:08:50,512
- Not cool.
- I'm allergic to sheepskin!
220
00:08:50,513 --> 00:08:52,941
Bold move, Morty Smith.
But can you deliver?
221
00:08:52,942 --> 00:08:54,743
Holy [BLEEP]. I can do anything.
222
00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:56,645
Yes, with math, anything is possible.
223
00:08:56,646 --> 00:08:58,336
Except a long-term
relationship with a woman
224
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,825
that calls you a warlock
for using a phone.
225
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,804
Hi, uh, hey, Jessica.
226
00:09:05,805 --> 00:09:07,296
Oh. Hey, Morty.
227
00:09:10,159 --> 00:09:12,120
Hey... Jessica, right?
228
00:09:12,121 --> 00:09:14,184
Um. Yeah. Hi. Sorry.
229
00:09:14,185 --> 00:09:15,532
I thought you knew my name
230
00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:17,045
because we've interacted so many times,
231
00:09:17,046 --> 00:09:19,028
but maybe I was just being stupid.
232
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,377
Sorry. Hi. I-I'm Jessica. That's me.
233
00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:22,493
- Cool. See you around.
- Jessica.
234
00:09:22,494 --> 00:09:24,172
Yeah. I hope I see you.
235
00:09:24,173 --> 00:09:25,894
- Around.
- Guess we'll see.
236
00:09:27,837 --> 00:09:29,798
I think I'm gonna like this thing.
237
00:09:50,249 --> 00:09:52,301
_
238
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:01,194
_
239
00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:04,022
_
240
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,278
Oh shit, suicide by cop!
241
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,850
I love these!
242
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,128
You're living too fast, Morty.
243
00:10:20,129 --> 00:10:22,140
I don't pay for your
friendship, Heroin Keith.
244
00:10:22,141 --> 00:10:23,151
Damn.
245
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:36,362
_
246
00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:55,464
_
247
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,592
_
248
00:14:12,615 --> 00:14:15,244
_
249
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,289
Oh, hi, Jessica.
250
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,011
Hey, I'm sorry I brushed
you off the other day.
251
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:04,192
I was just trying to be cool...
252
00:15:04,193 --> 00:15:06,134
Oh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
253
00:15:06,135 --> 00:15:07,966
But... you seem different.
254
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:09,538
Like you finally found yourself.
255
00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:11,022
Yeah. I... I guess I have.
256
00:15:11,023 --> 00:15:13,527
That's good to hear.
I like who you found.
257
00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:15,241
Yeah. Yeah, I do, too.
258
00:15:15,242 --> 00:15:17,576
Looking forward to seeing more.
259
00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:18,747
I'll see you tomorrow, Morty.
260
00:15:18,748 --> 00:15:20,918
Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
261
00:15:26,666 --> 00:15:27,756
How's it going?
262
00:15:27,757 --> 00:15:29,682
Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun.
263
00:15:29,683 --> 00:15:31,520
Y'know I-I-I definitely
sowed those oats.
264
00:15:31,521 --> 00:15:32,801
But I think you invented
265
00:15:32,802 --> 00:15:34,703
a little lesson for me along the way.
266
00:15:34,704 --> 00:15:36,344
Living without consequences is great,
267
00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:37,706
but then I started wondering...
268
00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:40,121
what am I living for?
What am I building?
269
00:15:40,122 --> 00:15:42,370
If I'm always looking back,
I'm never looking ahead.
270
00:15:42,371 --> 00:15:43,381
And then it hit me.
271
00:15:43,382 --> 00:15:45,904
We are who we are
because of consequences.
272
00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:49,098
You can't live without consequences,
y'know? You feel me?
273
00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:51,998
Wow.
274
00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:54,488
That's a beautiful thought,
Morty, but, uh, no.
275
00:15:54,489 --> 00:15:56,104
There were definitely consequences.
276
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,575
What're-What-What are you talking about?
277
00:15:57,576 --> 00:15:59,768
I mean. You did everything you did.
278
00:15:59,769 --> 00:16:02,290
- It all happened.
- No. But the... the respawn button.
279
00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:04,392
- The... The do-over.
- It's not a do-over.
280
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:06,299
You just did it. Over and over.
281
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,927
What are you saying? W-What did you do?
282
00:16:07,928 --> 00:16:10,181
I think it's more appropriate
to ask what did you do?
283
00:16:10,182 --> 00:16:12,581
You see, Morty,
you weren't saving your place
284
00:16:12,582 --> 00:16:14,721
and going back. I don't
respect time travel.
285
00:16:14,722 --> 00:16:17,393
If "Ant Man and the Wasp"
can do it, I'm not interested.
286
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:18,762
It wasn't so much a do-over
287
00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:20,619
as it was isolating a moment in time,
288
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:21,750
splitting your probable selves,
289
00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:23,592
and shunting you into to
into a near-duplicate,
290
00:16:23,593 --> 00:16:26,174
equally probable reality,
transporting you into it
291
00:16:26,175 --> 00:16:28,007
at the moment of parallel determination.
292
00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,276
Pretty nifty. Time crystals
are a bitch and a half,
293
00:16:30,277 --> 00:16:33,201
but the only real hitch is
that there was already a you
294
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:34,451
in each probable dimension.
295
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,901
So we had to solve for that.
296
00:16:41,663 --> 00:16:42,921
That's right, you little bitch!
297
00:16:42,922 --> 00:16:44,693
It's "The Prestige"!
You "Prestige'd" yourself!
298
00:16:44,694 --> 00:16:46,920
- Rick, how many did I kill?
- You tell me, Morty.
299
00:16:46,921 --> 00:16:49,175
Every time you reset
to smell Jessica's hair,
300
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,515
every time you relived
a satisfying fart,
301
00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:53,319
that's how many Mortys
you've incinerated,
302
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,721
you greedy little junkie.
303
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,775
Oh, God... even those times when I...
304
00:16:56,776 --> 00:16:58,437
Especially those times.
305
00:16:58,438 --> 00:17:00,429
It's over, Morty. Feel this.
306
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,867
- Take this in. This is God.
- Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh...
307
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:04,140
Why would you do this?
308
00:17:04,141 --> 00:17:06,540
My hands are clean, Morty.
I gave you a choice.
309
00:17:06,541 --> 00:17:07,876
You could listen to me explain,
310
00:17:07,877 --> 00:17:10,517
in great scientific detail,
how it all works...
311
00:17:10,518 --> 00:17:11,690
or you could have fun.
312
00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:14,583
- Did you have fun, Morty?
- Is this because of the vat?
313
00:17:14,584 --> 00:17:16,314
- No.
- I'm sorry.
314
00:17:16,315 --> 00:17:17,786
I'm afraid it's too
late for that, Morty.
315
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,071
What's done is done, but it can end.
316
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,178
The original split is still timestamped.
317
00:17:22,179 --> 00:17:24,448
I can make it so those
Mortys never existed at all,
318
00:17:24,449 --> 00:17:25,994
make them purely theoretical.
319
00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:27,005
Oh, God. What do I do?
320
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:28,505
I think it's clear you've done enough.
321
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,926
Tell me how, Rick! Tell me
how I save those Mortys!
322
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,298
You live with the consequences.
323
00:17:32,299 --> 00:17:33,630
Those things happened somewhere,
324
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,572
but you can merge the probable realities
325
00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:37,273
so that only one Morty did them.
326
00:17:37,274 --> 00:17:38,817
Just do it.
327
00:17:38,818 --> 00:17:40,188
All right, lemme just sync these up
328
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,199
and get you back to your dimension.
329
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,232
Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick?
330
00:17:43,242 --> 00:17:44,773
Then... Then why do you
know about the vat?
331
00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:46,114
Every Rick has a vat!
332
00:17:56,574 --> 00:17:57,836
Well, Morty,
333
00:17:57,837 --> 00:18:00,068
I'd say we've invented
a little honesty today.
334
00:18:00,069 --> 00:18:01,831
- How about you?
- I don't deserve this.
335
00:18:01,841 --> 00:18:02,905
I was just having fun.
336
00:18:02,906 --> 00:18:03,932
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.
337
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,262
Speaking of, time to pay the piper.
338
00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:10,837
Morty Smith.
339
00:18:10,838 --> 00:18:13,592
Come out with your hands
up, you sick [BLEEP].
340
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,043
We're also fine with just shooting you
341
00:18:15,044 --> 00:18:16,685
if you wanna suicide by cop.
342
00:18:16,686 --> 00:18:17,886
What? What is this?
343
00:18:17,887 --> 00:18:19,523
Wow. Looks like a SWAT Team,
344
00:18:19,524 --> 00:18:20,689
some drug dealers,
345
00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:23,772
some grassroots MeToo
activists, the ACLU...
346
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:25,455
Jesus, Morty, the AARP?
347
00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:28,304
- I don't wanna talk about it!
- The NAACP, GamerGate...
348
00:18:28,305 --> 00:18:31,379
Morty, is that Supreme Court
Justice Sonia Sotomayor?
349
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:33,001
I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry!
350
00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,319
I-Is that what you want me to say?
351
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,693
- What... What do I do?
- Oof, well, I'm stumped.
352
00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:38,667
Seems like there's no
way out of this one.
353
00:18:38,668 --> 00:18:39,808
Unless...
354
00:18:39,809 --> 00:18:41,450
God damn it.
355
00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:43,772
Yeah, I guess it is, uh...
what did you call it?
356
00:18:43,773 --> 00:18:45,974
Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"?
357
00:18:45,975 --> 00:18:48,537
- God damn it.
- Say the vat is good.
358
00:18:48,538 --> 00:18:51,621
- The vat is good.
- Kiss the vat.
359
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,804
Do not go into that vat.
360
00:18:55,805 --> 00:18:57,734
It appears to be full of acid.
361
00:18:57,735 --> 00:18:59,848
It is! Please, he's just a little boy!
362
00:18:59,849 --> 00:19:02,021
- Let me talk to him.
- Tell him we're very upset!
363
00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:03,437
Morty, please. Step back.
364
00:19:03,438 --> 00:19:05,033
That vat is full of acid.
365
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:07,355
It'll melt you completely,
leaving only your bones.
366
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,077
- Goddamn it!
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
367
00:19:09,078 --> 00:19:10,208
I'm going in the vat!
368
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:16,402
Oh! God! Aw, I blame myself!
369
00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:17,640
Oh, what a tragedy.
370
00:19:17,641 --> 00:19:20,306
This... Oh, well, he's bones now.
371
00:19:20,307 --> 00:19:21,578
I guess all debts are paid.
372
00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:23,420
Agreed. He's definitely dead.
373
00:19:23,421 --> 00:19:25,784
Why else would the bones come up?
374
00:19:25,785 --> 00:19:27,826
While his actions were horrifying
375
00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:30,338
and we are well within our
rights to be outraged,
376
00:19:30,339 --> 00:19:32,751
I do wonder if we bear
some responsibility
377
00:19:32,752 --> 00:19:35,043
for this young man
melting himself in acid.
378
00:19:35,044 --> 00:19:37,577
Are we here for justice...
or something else?
379
00:19:37,587 --> 00:19:41,039
"Though justice be thy
plea, consider this,
380
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,131
that in the course of justice...
381
00:19:43,132 --> 00:19:45,655
none of us should see salvation.
382
00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:47,486
We do pray for mercy."
383
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,897
"Merchant of Venice," nice.
384
00:19:48,898 --> 00:19:52,260
- Very cool. Lots to think about.
- Vengeance is a tomb,
385
00:19:52,261 --> 00:19:53,361
- all-encompassing...
- All right, okay,
386
00:19:53,362 --> 00:19:55,674
this isn't a poetry
reading, a kid just died.
387
00:19:55,675 --> 00:19:59,007
Everybody go home and hug
your loved one or something.
388
00:20:03,933 --> 00:20:04,953
Wait.
389
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,735
How do we know that's really acid
390
00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:08,675
and you didn't just have
someone's bones in there?
391
00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:10,276
I mean, if you're doubting
if that's really acid
392
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:12,010
and not just jacuzzi-heated
Mountain Dew,
393
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,450
you're welcome to use this ladle.
394
00:20:13,451 --> 00:20:15,424
You think I'm a goddamn idiot?
395
00:20:15,425 --> 00:20:16,509
Brought my own.
396
00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:22,185
_
397
00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,351
Aah!
398
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,833
Oh, God! Oh, God no!
399
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:26,069
Oh, God, no! Oh, no... Huh?
400
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:27,936
I'm acid-proof!
401
00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:30,358
[BLEEP] all of you. [BLEEP] all of you,
402
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,540
I'm gonna be rich!
403
00:20:31,541 --> 00:20:32,721
Here's my ass.
404
00:20:32,722 --> 00:20:34,791
Take a good look, spank it!
405
00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:36,423
Acid proof!
406
00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:39,395
Feels like that guy had
other stuff going on.
407
00:20:39,396 --> 00:20:41,760
Don't ever make fun of me again.
408
00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:42,894
Ever!
409
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:45,442
All right, c'mon Morty, let's go home.
410
00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,295
Wait, what? This...
This isn't our reality?
411
00:20:47,296 --> 00:20:48,584
What, you think I'd waste our home
412
00:20:48,586 --> 00:20:50,248
teaching you a [BLEEP] lesson?
413
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,080
I am gonna miss this place, though...
414
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:53,960
Johnny Carson's still
alive and on the air,
415
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,331
9/11 never happened,
416
00:20:55,332 --> 00:20:56,945
and Rocky Road ice cream
has peanut butter
417
00:20:56,946 --> 00:20:58,768
- instead of marshmallows.
- The fu... What?
418
00:20:58,776 --> 00:21:00,028
The marshmallows are the best part!
419
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,309
Morty...
420
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:07,517
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
421
00:21:34,454 --> 00:21:36,460
_
422
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,557
Our next guest, ah, gave us,
423
00:21:40,558 --> 00:21:42,228
well, actually, very little information,
424
00:21:42,229 --> 00:21:46,533
ah, besides the fact that he
is, uh, impervious to acid.
425
00:21:46,534 --> 00:21:48,532
So here he is, he's here to prove it.
426
00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:49,679
Let's welcome this guy.
427
00:21:51,441 --> 00:21:52,662
Let's do this shit!
428
00:21:52,672 --> 00:21:54,102
Now, you're, uh...
you're sure about this?
429
00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:55,113
Eat my [BLEEP].
430
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,705
- Hoist me!
- I did not know that ass
431
00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,707
was on the menu.
432
00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,228
Don't steal my moment!
433
00:22:00,229 --> 00:22:01,329
- Do it!
- Ah, okay,
434
00:22:01,330 --> 00:22:04,293
then without further ado... drop him.
435
00:22:04,301 --> 00:22:05,724
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
436
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,135
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
437
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,599
Looks like I'll be
eating [BLEEP] flambé.
438
00:22:24,442 --> 00:22:25,599
Please kill me.
439
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:30,018
_