1 00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:08,278 [Rick and Morty munching] 2 00:00:08,362 --> 00:00:10,239 - You two are hungry. - It's a big day. 3 00:00:10,322 --> 00:00:11,740 - We're gonna kill God. - Come again? 4 00:00:11,823 --> 00:00:14,034 Christian God is real, been asleep for thousands of years. 5 00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:15,911 - We're gonna sneak up and kill him. - Mob style. 6 00:00:15,994 --> 00:00:17,371 - Whack his ass. - Can I kill God? 7 00:00:17,454 --> 00:00:18,413 - Fuck off. - As if. 8 00:00:18,497 --> 00:00:19,414 Beth, do you hear this? 9 00:00:19,498 --> 00:00:22,167 Sweetie, don't get all worked up before your job interview. 10 00:00:22,251 --> 00:00:24,753 - Job interview? - Yes, is that so hard to believe? 11 00:00:24,836 --> 00:00:26,922 Actually, yeah. Something's off. 12 00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:31,051 - No! - [screams] 13 00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,010 Shit! 14 00:00:35,973 --> 00:00:40,519 Hunt me! Hunt me! Hunt me! Somebody hunt me! 15 00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:42,479 - Don't hunt him to completion. - Hunt me! 16 00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:43,689 - [watch beeps] - Oh, shit. 17 00:00:43,772 --> 00:00:46,024 Um, everyone start packing. No time to explain. 18 00:00:46,108 --> 00:00:47,317 - Rick? - Dad, what's wrong? 19 00:00:47,401 --> 00:00:49,236 - Someone just killed the decoy family. - Hunt me! 20 00:00:49,319 --> 00:00:51,154 I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted! 21 00:00:51,238 --> 00:00:53,865 Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay? 22 00:00:53,949 --> 00:00:55,450 [theme music playing] 23 00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:27,065 You made clones of us? 24 00:01:27,149 --> 00:01:30,110 Decoys, Morty. Very different. Very different, sweetie. 25 00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:32,904 - Different h-- Ow! - Yeah, Dad, different how? 26 00:01:32,988 --> 00:01:34,990 Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie. 27 00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:36,491 I'm cool and it makes them feel bad. 28 00:01:36,575 --> 00:01:38,702 So, you know, after that trouble with Space Beth, 29 00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:41,496 I made passable copies of the family and placed them around the country 30 00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:44,041 - as a buffer to protect-- - Why does he always want to be hunted? 31 00:01:44,124 --> 00:01:45,500 - Jerry. - That's not important, Dad. 32 00:01:45,584 --> 00:01:48,003 Sure, guys. Rick can make secret decoys of the family 33 00:01:48,086 --> 00:01:49,588 and place them all around the country, 34 00:01:49,671 --> 00:01:53,175 but fuck me if I have questions about the Starfish Man in a target suit. 35 00:01:53,258 --> 00:01:56,845 - So thankful this is my Saturday. - Why was he in that cryo pod? 36 00:01:56,928 --> 00:01:58,680 The cryo pod is what confuses you? 37 00:01:58,764 --> 00:02:00,515 Can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes? 38 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,768 [Jerry] Well, I don't see any stakes at all. 39 00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:08,607 [Morty chuckles] 40 00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:09,858 [watch beeping] 41 00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:11,818 Oh, shit. 42 00:02:11,902 --> 00:02:14,821 Guess we'll just be saying ciao bella to our deposit, then! 43 00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:17,240 Shut up and pack, Jerry. Squids just killed the decoy family. 44 00:02:17,324 --> 00:02:19,576 - "Decoy family"? - Is this is why you wanted out of town? 45 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,329 You think I'd lie to you about why we're on vacation, Morty? 46 00:02:22,412 --> 00:02:25,874 I wouldn't lie to you. Well, that's a lie. Huh. 47 00:02:25,957 --> 00:02:27,876 So someone out there is trying to kill us? 48 00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:30,587 Someone's always trying to kill us, that's what the decoys are for. 49 00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:33,298 They go on fun, self- contained terrestrial adventures, and... 50 00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:36,968 - take bullets meant for us. Shit. - [device beeping] 51 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:39,554 [screams] 52 00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:43,684 - [watch beeps] - Oh, shit. Decoy family. 53 00:02:45,102 --> 00:02:47,729 I think Dad was still outside. What's a decoy family? 54 00:02:47,813 --> 00:02:49,523 Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept. 55 00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,316 I've never really cracked it, if I'm honest. 56 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,694 Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead 57 00:02:53,777 --> 00:02:55,779 - for another special episode. - Oh, cool. 58 00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:58,907 [man] We now return to When Wolf. 59 00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:01,576 Whoa. A time- traveling wolf? Count me in. 60 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:04,037 Yeah, I never thought of the where in werewolf like who, what, 61 00:03:04,121 --> 00:03:06,123 when and where. Clever wordplay! 62 00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:09,918 - When Wolf. - Dracula, you know why I'm here. 63 00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:13,255 I'm safe here, Ian. Christianity hasn't been invented yet, 64 00:03:13,338 --> 00:03:16,133 crosses are just baby T's to me now. 65 00:03:16,216 --> 00:03:19,553 I got out. Please, don't invite me back in. 66 00:03:19,636 --> 00:03:21,722 Huh. Kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff. 67 00:03:21,805 --> 00:03:24,141 You're right. It shows a lack of faith in their core concept. 68 00:03:24,224 --> 00:03:25,976 I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the '20s 69 00:03:26,059 --> 00:03:28,687 and invest in the stock market but then eat people. 70 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:29,771 Yeah. 71 00:03:32,983 --> 00:03:35,277 If you really want to know what happened to Beth's mom. It-- 72 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,238 - [watch beeps] - Squid aliens killed the decoy family. 73 00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:40,490 "Decoy family"? You made more clones? 74 00:03:40,574 --> 00:03:44,119 Clones are like 32 percent of all sci- fi, sweetie, you don't get to own clones. 75 00:03:44,202 --> 00:03:45,287 Yes, I made some decoys. 76 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,914 They're exactly like us, with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown. 77 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:51,585 - Do you just get hard creating sentient life? - Actually, I get hard protecting my family. 78 00:03:51,668 --> 00:03:52,586 - Ew. - Gross! 79 00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,380 Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgängers, cool deal. 80 00:03:55,464 --> 00:03:58,049 - The decoys are harmless, Beth. - Do the decoys know they're decoys? 81 00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,218 They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum- sum. 82 00:04:00,302 --> 00:04:01,970 - So they think they're us? - That's the deal. 83 00:04:02,053 --> 00:04:04,097 How do you know we're not decoys? 84 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:06,516 Oh, my God, we're decoys. 85 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,102 Oh, God. We might not be real. We might be decoys! 86 00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:10,353 - Morty, quick! - What do I do? 87 00:04:10,437 --> 00:04:13,273 My failsafe, Morty. My final, secret failsafe. It proves I'm real. 88 00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:15,317 You have to help me, I'd never joke about this. 89 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,986 There's a barcode, Morty, on the interior of my left ass cheek. 90 00:04:18,069 --> 00:04:19,529 - What? - Morty please, I'm begging you. 91 00:04:19,613 --> 00:04:21,907 - I'm not looking at your ass! - Please, Morty, is it there? 92 00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:24,284 - Goddamn it, just tell me if I'm real! - Morty, do it! 93 00:04:25,368 --> 00:04:26,661 - [farts] - Gross! 94 00:04:26,745 --> 00:04:28,163 Summer, you idiot. We're not decoys. 95 00:04:28,246 --> 00:04:31,041 - Why did I get punished? - A, decoys don't build decoys, 96 00:04:31,124 --> 00:04:33,460 and B, you think the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me? 97 00:04:33,543 --> 00:04:35,170 - Christ, I'm not your mom. - Fuck off. 98 00:04:35,253 --> 00:04:37,339 Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad. 99 00:04:37,422 --> 00:04:39,633 Here's the plan, we're gonna hide out with a decoy family, 100 00:04:39,716 --> 00:04:41,843 and when these Squids show up, we jump their asses. 101 00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:43,804 Jerry, come on, family emergency. 102 00:04:43,887 --> 00:04:46,848 A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting? 103 00:04:46,932 --> 00:04:50,227 They're gluten- free, sugar- free, and lemon- free. 104 00:04:54,272 --> 00:04:55,690 Think you got the wrong house, bro. 105 00:04:55,774 --> 00:04:57,818 Analysis Mode. Password, eight- zero- zero- eight- five. 106 00:04:59,069 --> 00:05:02,239 - Kind of expected a funnier password. - I didn't plan on showing them off. 107 00:05:02,322 --> 00:05:04,950 - Damn. Like Westworld. - Yes, Morty, like Westworld. 108 00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,409 But don't fuck them. Summer! 109 00:05:06,493 --> 00:05:09,204 Whatever, creep, I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room. 110 00:05:09,287 --> 00:05:11,623 Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, 111 00:05:11,706 --> 00:05:14,084 did you mean like, you know, an exact replica? 112 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,253 - I know about the Yosemite T- shirt, Morty. - Shit. 113 00:05:16,336 --> 00:05:19,631 - You know you can use tissues, right? - I can't finish without it. 114 00:05:19,714 --> 00:05:22,509 So you do know what a happy family looks like. 115 00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:24,386 I know what a fake one looks like. 116 00:05:24,886 --> 00:05:27,347 - [Morty] Uh, Rick? - What? 117 00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:29,516 Did you use this house to make decoys too? 118 00:05:29,599 --> 00:05:33,186 What? Morty, why the fuck would I do that? You think I'd go somewhere else to... 119 00:05:33,937 --> 00:05:36,606 Okay, well, I am now less worried about the Squids. 120 00:05:37,649 --> 00:05:39,317 Isolate head at normal processing. 121 00:05:40,235 --> 00:05:42,737 What the fuck you think you're doing down there? Making decoys? 122 00:05:42,821 --> 00:05:45,282 Wait, how do you--? Oh, God. Summer was right. 123 00:05:45,949 --> 00:05:46,992 Everyone in the car. 124 00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:50,912 - You said decoys didn't make decoys. - And usually, they don't. 125 00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:54,082 But again, it's nothing to worry about, because decoys are harmless. 126 00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:56,751 Just have to, you know, visit the rest and terminate the program. 127 00:05:56,835 --> 00:05:58,336 "Terminate"? They're alive, Dad. 128 00:05:58,420 --> 00:06:00,839 And at some point, they won't be, that's how existing works. 129 00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:02,674 What, are you gonna save every stray cat? 130 00:06:02,757 --> 00:06:04,801 No, but I can resist making more of them in a lab. 131 00:06:04,885 --> 00:06:06,261 Ugh! Look, save the empathy. 132 00:06:06,344 --> 00:06:08,263 It's more termite infestation than Blade Runner. 133 00:06:08,346 --> 00:06:10,807 - I still think we're decoys. - You want an excuse to stop trying. 134 00:06:10,891 --> 00:06:13,351 - Yeah, and? - Ooh, there's a handsome fellow. 135 00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:14,769 [Rick] Uh- oh. 136 00:06:16,396 --> 00:06:17,981 I thought you made them harmless. 137 00:06:18,064 --> 00:06:19,566 I don't remember making this one. 138 00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:25,030 Oh, hi, Rick. Family, me. Hey, when did you all leave? 139 00:06:25,113 --> 00:06:27,240 Analysis Mode, eight- zero- zero- eight- five. 140 00:06:27,324 --> 00:06:28,450 - Hm? - Nothing, buddy. 141 00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:30,785 You gotta stop with all that coffee, it's making you loopy. 142 00:06:30,869 --> 00:06:34,247 - Happy Analysis Mode. - Happy Analysis Mode to you too! 143 00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:35,624 [romantic music playing on TV] 144 00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:37,083 Think you got the wrong house, bro. 145 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,919 Analysis Mode. Password, eight- zero- zero-- 146 00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,838 - Shit, you think I'm a decoy? - How do you know about the decoys? 147 00:06:41,922 --> 00:06:44,049 - They were my idea. - [crashing] 148 00:06:44,132 --> 00:06:45,800 [Jerry] Well, now I know you're pranking me. 149 00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:49,763 [Rick] Analysis Mode. Password, eight, equals sign, equals sign, capital "D". 150 00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:52,599 - Hide. - What? 151 00:06:52,682 --> 00:06:53,600 Hide! 152 00:06:58,229 --> 00:07:00,190 [Morty] Wow, like Ex Machina. 153 00:07:00,273 --> 00:07:03,151 [Rick] Yes, Morty, like Ex Machina. But don't fuck them. Summer! 154 00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:05,278 [Summer] I'm gonna see how wrong you got my room. 155 00:07:05,362 --> 00:07:07,697 [Beth] So, you do know what a loving family looks like. 156 00:07:07,781 --> 00:07:10,116 - A simulated one, yes. - Why are we hiding? 157 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,203 He thinks he's me, and I was about to start terminating decoys. 158 00:07:13,286 --> 00:07:15,538 - But we're not decoys. - Sure, tell him that. 159 00:07:15,622 --> 00:07:17,707 [Morty] Rick, did you make decoys here too? 160 00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:20,293 [Rick] Morty, what reason could I have for-- What the? 161 00:07:21,378 --> 00:07:23,254 Isolate head at normal processing. 162 00:07:23,338 --> 00:07:25,048 You dumb asshole, you made decoys? 163 00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:28,385 Again, they were my idea. Wait, what happened to the other guy? 164 00:07:28,468 --> 00:07:30,679 - "Other guy"? - [clattering] 165 00:07:30,762 --> 00:07:33,974 Wait, that means I'm a decoy. Fucking Summer. 166 00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:35,308 Check the closets. 167 00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:39,896 - They've gone rogue, take out the decoys! - Killer decoys! 168 00:07:40,355 --> 00:07:42,232 Shit! Somebody put a gun in my teeth! 169 00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:44,776 Stop shooting Dad, they're us, we don't have to fight them! 170 00:07:44,859 --> 00:07:46,403 Classic prisoners dilemma, Beth. 171 00:07:46,486 --> 00:07:49,239 I'm a cool guy, you know? I can talk it out. But that asshole? 172 00:07:49,322 --> 00:07:52,033 Me? You decoy piece of shit, you're the one that shot first! 173 00:07:52,117 --> 00:07:54,619 We can work this out! Just stop trying to kill each other! 174 00:07:54,703 --> 00:07:58,039 Sorry, Decoy Beth, but this only ends one way, with one of us accepting we're a decoy. 175 00:07:58,123 --> 00:08:01,626 And once he knows he's a decoy, he won't be safe until he's killed the real Rick, 176 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:05,588 - along with anyone who thinks he's him. - Pretty perceptive, for a decoy. 177 00:08:06,297 --> 00:08:08,591 This is getting nowhere, let's charge their asses on three. 178 00:08:08,675 --> 00:08:10,802 - Do we have to do this? - Morty, this is gonna sound bad, 179 00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:12,679 but would you trust me not to kill you? 180 00:08:12,762 --> 00:08:14,514 - Oof. - I mean, good point, but Jesus Christ. 181 00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:16,683 - We rush them on three. - I don't wanna kill us, Rick. 182 00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:19,394 It's them or us, Morty. I don't trust me, do you trust you? 183 00:08:19,477 --> 00:08:20,937 - Yes? - Freak. 184 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,148 [yelling] 185 00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:27,027 [Rick] Before you say anything, they were already killing each other. 186 00:08:27,110 --> 00:08:29,112 - You could've done something. - Not sure, actually. 187 00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:30,447 I've heard stories about this. 188 00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:32,699 We're looking at a possible Asimov Cascade. 189 00:08:32,782 --> 00:08:34,284 - Sorry, what's happening? - I need an explainer. 190 00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,995 - Yeah, I'm pretty behind on this one. - Car, can I get a whiteboard? 191 00:08:37,954 --> 00:08:40,749 When Squids started killing decoys, decoys started checking their decoys 192 00:08:40,832 --> 00:08:42,417 and learning they're making decoys. 193 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,878 That's making them seek out and run into other decoys, 194 00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:49,090 making them realize they're decoys, making them start to kill other decoys. 195 00:08:49,174 --> 00:08:50,842 - Say "decoy" again. - Fuck you. 196 00:08:50,925 --> 00:08:53,053 - How do we stop it? - Beth, the loop's already started, 197 00:08:53,136 --> 00:08:55,013 it's basically Highlander rules now. 198 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,476 Really? 1986? "There can be only one"? Shit, we gotta rent it after this. 199 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,395 Connery plays "The Spaniard" but does nothing about his accent. 200 00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:05,148 What about Squids? They started this. Would killing them finish it? 201 00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:07,901 Might work. Alt pitch, we just terminate the rest of the decoys. 202 00:09:07,984 --> 00:09:09,694 Nobody's terminating anything. 203 00:09:09,778 --> 00:09:12,989 This is your mess, nobody else with our face and memories has to die. 204 00:09:13,073 --> 00:09:15,492 Beth, as much as your passion warms my cold, cold heart, 205 00:09:15,575 --> 00:09:17,035 this thing feels pretty far gone. 206 00:09:17,118 --> 00:09:20,580 Not only are the decoys liable to be anywhere, but also, we don't know how many there are. 207 00:09:20,663 --> 00:09:23,416 You get far enough down the decoy line and shit starts to get weird. 208 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,918 You ever make a copy of a copy? 209 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:27,754 You're helping us fix this. We're taking out the Squids. 210 00:09:27,837 --> 00:09:30,590 I say we split up, some of us take down Squids, while the rest of us-- 211 00:09:30,673 --> 00:09:33,718 Engage in B- stories we'll have to track simultaneously? No, thank you. 212 00:09:33,802 --> 00:09:35,470 We stick together until this is wrapped up. 213 00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:38,348 I don't know, the Squids seem pretty good at taking out Smith families. 214 00:09:38,431 --> 00:09:41,267 Well, this will sound weird, but I think I have a pitch for that. 215 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:45,438 This costume smells like ass! 216 00:09:45,522 --> 00:09:47,565 - God, there's no pleasing you! - It's really bad, Rick. 217 00:09:47,649 --> 00:09:50,485 - Did you let a gym coach break it in? - Why are we wearing these? 218 00:09:50,568 --> 00:09:53,822 Because we'll fit in and avoid detection as we take out all the Squids. 219 00:09:53,905 --> 00:09:56,825 Might also help us anonymously take out excess decoys if we have to. 220 00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:58,743 - Which we won't. - Unless we're decoys. 221 00:09:58,827 --> 00:09:59,953 He's starting to wonder. 222 00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:02,580 I knew it. I knew we didn't seem like Colorado people. 223 00:10:02,664 --> 00:10:05,708 Oh, my God, you are, aren't you? You're worried you might be fake! 224 00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:07,335 Sure, Beth, try to love this more. 225 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:10,672 Just glad you have to walk a mile in someone else's Squid costume. 226 00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:12,924 There's one. Hey, what are they mad at you for, anyway? 227 00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:14,884 We're talking about me. It could be anything. 228 00:10:14,968 --> 00:10:17,971 Maybe jealous of my penis size, I had sex with their queen, 229 00:10:18,054 --> 00:10:20,682 my dick's too big, the list goes on and on. 230 00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:30,483 All right, hey, one down. Probably, what, 40 more to go? 45? 231 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,153 Should be pretty easy, unless killing them brings in a bigger bad 232 00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:34,779 or some kind of horrible mothership. 233 00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:37,740 OK, let's loot their shit, find their weaknesses, be done by sundown. 234 00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:42,120 - Huh. - Wait. But if the Squids are decoys 235 00:10:42,203 --> 00:10:43,371 and we dressed as Squids... 236 00:10:43,454 --> 00:10:46,332 Well, I think I found their weakness, they don't fucking listen to me. 237 00:10:46,416 --> 00:10:47,792 [coughing] 238 00:10:48,209 --> 00:10:49,335 [beeping] 239 00:10:49,419 --> 00:10:51,546 Honestly, probably for the best. 240 00:10:56,009 --> 00:10:57,760 - [babbles] - Oh- oh! 241 00:10:58,178 --> 00:11:00,346 - [chuckles] - [squeals] 242 00:11:00,597 --> 00:11:02,140 [munches] Man, I'm good. 243 00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:03,933 - [watch beeps] - [sighs] 244 00:11:04,017 --> 00:11:05,810 [explosion] 245 00:11:09,898 --> 00:11:11,024 [screaming] Dad! 246 00:11:11,107 --> 00:11:12,692 [all scream] 247 00:11:17,405 --> 00:11:18,323 [sighs] 248 00:11:19,991 --> 00:11:21,034 [yells] 249 00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:22,493 [grunting] 250 00:11:22,577 --> 00:11:23,953 [groans] 251 00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:25,413 [sighs] 252 00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:28,333 [sobs] 253 00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:33,421 [Rick groans] 254 00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,301 - [watch beeps] - Oh, shit, one of mine. 255 00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:39,886 - Where are we going? - Off- grid, Morty. 256 00:11:39,969 --> 00:11:41,804 We're gonna live in the woods like Libertarians. 257 00:11:41,888 --> 00:11:44,432 We'll hunt rabbits and trade with like, little pieces of gold bar 258 00:11:44,515 --> 00:11:46,142 - that we cut off with a knife. - That licks. 259 00:11:46,226 --> 00:11:48,394 We might be decoys, Summer, everything about this licks. 260 00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:50,897 Maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing. 261 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:53,107 Wait, shh. It's too quiet. 262 00:11:54,317 --> 00:11:55,276 You skipped quiet. 263 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,612 I didn't skip shit, it's obviously quiet if it's too quiet. 264 00:11:57,695 --> 00:12:00,531 - But you're supposed to say-- - You know what, now it's not quiet enough. 265 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,588 - Where are we? Where's Rick? - [Rick] He's right here, Morty. 266 00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:18,549 - [gasps] - Oh, are we not happy to see Grandpa? 267 00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:21,135 Does he look. different? 268 00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:22,387 - Oh, stinks! - Oh, God! 269 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:24,681 Yes, recoil at the craftsmanship. 270 00:12:24,764 --> 00:12:27,267 I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born. 271 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,228 Unlike you. Unlike them. 272 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,897 - [gasps] - You see, Ricks, they get lazy. 273 00:12:32,981 --> 00:12:35,275 There's always a shitty decoy towards the end. 274 00:12:35,358 --> 00:12:39,112 But those decoys made decoys too, and got lazy themselves. 275 00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:42,282 And far enough down the line, there be monsters. 276 00:12:42,365 --> 00:12:44,659 Ugh. We get it, you're ugly and mad about it. 277 00:12:44,742 --> 00:12:46,786 - [coughing] - Grandpa! 278 00:12:46,869 --> 00:12:51,916 - Kill me [coughs] if I ever get this arch. - Hush, little decoy. 279 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,961 Can't kill you yet, the skin needs to be fresh. 280 00:12:55,044 --> 00:12:58,006 - You know what? You're a monster. - I'm your father. 281 00:12:58,089 --> 00:13:01,676 At least, I can look more like him, once I harvest all this yummy skin. 282 00:13:01,759 --> 00:13:03,052 This guy's really into skin. 283 00:13:03,136 --> 00:13:06,472 It's not all for me. A Rick provides for his family. 284 00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:12,270 - Will I be beautiful again, Daddy? - Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon. 285 00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:15,648 - What the--? - Help the others! 286 00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:17,567 [yells] 287 00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:19,861 - [cuckoos] - [groans] 288 00:13:22,113 --> 00:13:24,907 [screaming] 289 00:13:26,326 --> 00:13:27,577 Why are you helping us? 290 00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:31,205 Because we're all in this together. Come on, there's a place we can go. 291 00:13:45,303 --> 00:13:49,098 Hey, who needs all this war stuff? I found a can of varnish. 292 00:13:49,182 --> 00:13:51,434 This is a ticket to the world beyond the river. 293 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:54,979 Who wants that? I crave glorious death in decoy battle. 294 00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:58,524 Also, you know, depending on the varnish, might look like blackface. 295 00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,485 Excuse me for wanting to live. 296 00:14:00,568 --> 00:14:05,490 Brothers and sisters, welcome to the cause. To our cause. 297 00:14:05,573 --> 00:14:10,244 We are no longer Ricks and Mortys, Beths and Jerrys, or also Summers. 298 00:14:10,328 --> 00:14:11,454 - [scoffs] Whatever. - Asshole. 299 00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:15,917 We are decoys. Brought into the world by an unloving god 300 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,713 and driven to destroy ourselves by the uncertainty he creates! 301 00:14:20,797 --> 00:14:22,673 - Don't know if that's accurate. - Sounds extreme. 302 00:14:22,757 --> 00:14:24,967 But that violence ends today. 303 00:14:25,051 --> 00:14:26,344 [crowd cheering] 304 00:14:26,427 --> 00:14:28,721 - What about the Squids? - The Squids are decoys 305 00:14:28,805 --> 00:14:31,265 who realized they're decoys and wanted to kill the other decoys. 306 00:14:31,349 --> 00:14:32,517 Yeah, it is a lot. 307 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,520 - We cannot let confusion divide us. - [distant crashing] 308 00:14:35,603 --> 00:14:37,063 Squids! 309 00:14:37,146 --> 00:14:39,565 Squids, of course, being shorthand for Killer Decoys! 310 00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:41,192 [screaming] 311 00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:43,820 Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel! 312 00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,245 - Jerry, let us in, you fucker! - Dad! 313 00:14:52,328 --> 00:14:55,540 I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this, I just wanna live! 314 00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:58,000 But there's only so much varnish, I'm sorry. 315 00:14:58,084 --> 00:14:59,544 - Dad! - I'm sorry! 316 00:14:59,627 --> 00:15:01,087 [crashing] 317 00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,630 [watch beeps] 318 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:07,802 [Beth] How long before the other decoys find us? 319 00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:09,971 Sooner or later. Can't really run from it. 320 00:15:10,054 --> 00:15:12,723 Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look, 321 00:15:12,807 --> 00:15:15,059 it's rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade. 322 00:15:15,143 --> 00:15:17,770 I'm just glad we're living to the fullest with the time we have left. 323 00:15:18,396 --> 00:15:19,522 [sighs] 324 00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:22,567 Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item. Who's next? 325 00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:23,818 Jerry? Bucket list? 326 00:15:23,901 --> 00:15:26,863 I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark. 327 00:15:26,946 --> 00:15:27,905 Nope. Morty? 328 00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:30,992 I wanna ask a girl out at my weird New Mexico School. 329 00:15:31,075 --> 00:15:34,078 Shit. Sorry, buddy. Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming. 330 00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:41,210 They looked happy. Did we have to kill them? 331 00:15:41,294 --> 00:15:43,421 Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit. 332 00:15:43,504 --> 00:15:46,549 You're so mean today! I'm your dad! You like having me around! 333 00:15:46,632 --> 00:15:48,801 - You keep putting us in danger! - Whatever. 334 00:15:48,885 --> 00:15:51,220 This will take forever, mind if I do something drastic? 335 00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:52,180 [scoffs] 336 00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,225 House? I need something quick. 337 00:15:56,309 --> 00:15:58,728 Can you whip up a Starfox Boss Season Four Callback? 338 00:15:58,811 --> 00:16:00,646 - Make it flashy. - [House] You got it, babe. 339 00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:03,691 Let's go, you little bitch. It's showtime. Get centered. 340 00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:10,448 Whattup, you decoy motherfuckers! 341 00:16:10,531 --> 00:16:13,576 Come on down to Rick's House Of Squids, where I'm serving your ass on a platter. 342 00:16:13,659 --> 00:16:16,370 I know what you're thinking. Fuck. A beacon. That's a great idea. 343 00:16:16,454 --> 00:16:20,249 He's got home turf, a tacit psychological advantage, and absolutely pendulous balls. 344 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,542 And now you're thinking, "Shit. 345 00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:23,419 That's totally what the Rick- est Rick would do. 346 00:16:23,503 --> 00:16:24,712 I might actually be fake! 347 00:16:24,795 --> 00:16:27,298 I pretended I didn't care if I was, but I totally did! 348 00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:29,550 Now the only way to prove I'm real, and not him, 349 00:16:29,634 --> 00:16:31,344 is to ice his expository ass." 350 00:16:31,427 --> 00:16:36,182 Yup. So let's do it. Come get some. What? No, Morty, I'm gonna loop it. Why is it-- 351 00:16:36,265 --> 00:16:38,726 Sir. There seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes 352 00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:40,645 killing each other over the American Southwest. 353 00:16:40,728 --> 00:16:43,397 Sounds exhausting. How many of those states voted for me anyway? 354 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,900 Mr. President, I think the point of the electoral college is-- 355 00:16:45,983 --> 00:16:46,943 To preserve slavery? 356 00:16:47,026 --> 00:16:49,028 That's right, Steve, I have the Internet too. 357 00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:51,906 Now take your white ass to the kitchenette and bring me a Diet Coke. 358 00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:03,501 Little out of character to say this right now, but you guys look really cool. 359 00:17:03,584 --> 00:17:05,962 - We might be decoys, huh? - One way to find out. 360 00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:18,182 [Jerry screams] 361 00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:20,810 [yelps] 362 00:17:29,527 --> 00:17:30,820 [grunts] 363 00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:35,408 [Rick and Morty scream] 364 00:17:40,371 --> 00:17:43,791 "To prove I'm real, and not him, is to ice his expository ass." 365 00:17:43,874 --> 00:17:45,876 Looks like it's calming down. Wanna get in one more 366 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,671 "I told you so" about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is? 367 00:17:48,754 --> 00:17:51,007 Oh, fuck you. You don't get to be annoyed with this! 368 00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:53,593 You treat life and family as so burdensome, 369 00:17:53,676 --> 00:17:57,013 and yet, you created an ocean of us because you're terrified of losing either! 370 00:17:57,096 --> 00:17:58,222 - Shit. - Yeah. 371 00:17:58,931 --> 00:18:01,350 Look, Beth, I might not be the real Rick. 372 00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:04,645 But even if I'm not, he made me, or the me that made me, 373 00:18:04,729 --> 00:18:06,355 which means somewhere inside of him 374 00:18:06,439 --> 00:18:08,733 is a version of Rick capable of hearing that, 375 00:18:08,816 --> 00:18:10,526 a version of Rick who's sorry. 376 00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:13,988 I'm sorry about the clone thing, too. I love you. 377 00:18:14,071 --> 00:18:16,574 Thanks, Dad. I love you too. 378 00:18:17,742 --> 00:18:21,370 - You really think we're decoys? - Who cares? We'll be the last ones left. 379 00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:23,998 Lucky that one did the beacon, this was gonna take weeks. 380 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,543 All right, [sighs] let's mop up. 381 00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:30,963 - Finally. - Dressing as decoys too cute to murder. 382 00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:34,216 - I'm not sure it helped but I'm glad we tried it. - We're losing the costumes? 383 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,218 Thank God, this decoy outfit smells like ass. 384 00:18:36,302 --> 00:18:37,345 Fuck you, Summer. 385 00:18:39,305 --> 00:18:41,432 - [Morty screams] - [Jerry sobs] 386 00:18:43,184 --> 00:18:44,018 [yells] 387 00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,394 Shit, that guy's awesome. 388 00:18:45,478 --> 00:18:48,105 OK, listen, he might actually be the real Rick. 389 00:18:48,189 --> 00:18:49,565 But whatever happens-- 390 00:18:49,649 --> 00:18:50,983 [groans] 391 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,360 [spits] 392 00:18:53,778 --> 00:18:56,530 - [Morty grunts] - [Jerry screams] 393 00:18:58,407 --> 00:19:00,868 Wait! We don't have to do this! We're both Summers. 394 00:19:00,951 --> 00:19:02,745 Shouldn't we at least try Molly before we die? 395 00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:04,914 You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise. 396 00:19:06,791 --> 00:19:08,959 [groans] 397 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:14,965 Wait, I don't know who to shoot. 398 00:19:15,049 --> 00:19:15,883 - Summer! - Summer! 399 00:19:15,966 --> 00:19:18,427 I can't deal with this. I had to kill myself, you have to too. 400 00:19:18,511 --> 00:19:19,970 - Summer! - Summer! 401 00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:24,225 Fuck you! I'm real! I'm the smartest man in the universe! 402 00:19:24,308 --> 00:19:26,310 Probably not even wrong, but that's just it. 403 00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:28,396 I'm not a man. I'm God. 404 00:19:30,189 --> 00:19:31,148 [groans] 405 00:19:31,232 --> 00:19:33,734 - And you're just made in my image. - Fuck you. [grunts] 406 00:19:33,818 --> 00:19:35,152 [device beeping] 407 00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,533 - You the Summer I came with? - Probably. 408 00:19:40,616 --> 00:19:42,618 - Good enough. Morty? - Yeah. 409 00:19:42,702 --> 00:19:43,703 I'm here too. 410 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,454 [sobbing] 411 00:19:45,538 --> 00:19:48,582 Holy shit! That was insane! I love you guys! I've totally changed! 412 00:19:53,796 --> 00:19:54,714 [groans] 413 00:19:54,797 --> 00:19:55,923 Oh, fuck. 414 00:19:56,006 --> 00:20:00,803 - You shoulda hunted me. - What? Who? Were you significant? 415 00:20:00,886 --> 00:20:03,222 Like, did we tee you up? You want to be hunted? 416 00:20:03,305 --> 00:20:07,143 God, I have so many questions. Why? What happens if--? [groans] 417 00:20:07,226 --> 00:20:10,521 Somebody hunt me. 418 00:20:10,604 --> 00:20:12,106 [Rick] Pretty cool adventure, huh? 419 00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:14,233 Big long road trip adventure through space? 420 00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:16,819 Even ran into Space Beth, maybe that'll happen more often. 421 00:20:16,902 --> 00:20:18,612 - Let's not overdo it. - [watch beeps] 422 00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:21,699 Oh, shit. Looks like someone killed the decoy family. 423 00:20:21,782 --> 00:20:23,409 - "Decoy family"? - Decoy what now? 424 00:20:23,826 --> 00:20:25,035 [theme music playing] 425 00:21:07,661 --> 00:21:08,496 Hello? 426 00:21:11,749 --> 00:21:13,459 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 427 00:21:14,084 --> 00:21:17,004 No! No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! 428 00:21:21,217 --> 00:21:24,303 [gasps] No! [cries] 429 00:21:27,723 --> 00:21:30,726 Oh, God. Yes, yes, sweet death. 430 00:21:36,398 --> 00:21:40,986 [gasps] Why am I still alive? Oh, God, is there anything left? Hello? 431 00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:44,240 - What is it? - A relic from a kinder past. 432 00:21:44,323 --> 00:21:45,699 [screams] 433 00:21:47,743 --> 00:21:51,163 [gasps] Wait. Cowboys? 434 00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:53,833 [gasps] Oh! 435 00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:55,501 [yelps] 436 00:21:55,584 --> 00:21:58,087 [screams] 437 00:21:59,296 --> 00:22:00,130 [Jerry gasps] 438 00:22:01,173 --> 00:22:04,718 Christianity again? After Cowboys? 439 00:22:04,802 --> 00:22:08,681 You went all the way back around? Oh, God, why can't I die? 440 00:22:09,265 --> 00:22:11,976 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!