1
00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:09,738
Ah, I love that new T- shirt smell.
2
00:00:09,821 --> 00:00:11,281
Chicks are gonna be all up in our biz
3
00:00:11,365 --> 00:00:13,450
when they see us wearing these
Rick and Morty custom tees.
4
00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:14,576
I bet we could sell these.
5
00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:16,787
- Hells, yeah. I fucking love merch!
- [thunder crashes]
6
00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:18,330
- The rain! lt-- it burns!
- Oh, shit.
7
00:00:18,413 --> 00:00:19,790
Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!
8
00:00:19,873 --> 00:00:22,084
The door! Open the door! Rick!
9
00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:23,961
Is it-- Morty, will you stop trying to--
10
00:00:24,044 --> 00:00:25,629
- [lock clicks]
- Okay, there, it's open.
11
00:00:25,712 --> 00:00:27,339
- Jesus.
- My skin is on fire.
12
00:00:27,422 --> 00:00:28,840
Why is the rain doing that?
13
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:29,967
[evil laughter]
14
00:00:30,050 --> 00:00:33,804
My acid rain will destroy
all things green and natural,
15
00:00:33,887 --> 00:00:36,223
or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
16
00:00:36,306 --> 00:00:38,517
- [evil laughter]
- [screaming]
17
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,686
Huh. Well, that guy's easy to please.
18
00:00:42,062 --> 00:00:44,356
Your acid rain is an acid pain
19
00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,358
in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
20
00:00:46,441 --> 00:00:48,860
Yikes. Who's the chick
in need of a dialogue pass?
21
00:00:48,944 --> 00:00:52,155
First order of business
is to clean up this acid rain
22
00:00:52,239 --> 00:00:53,782
with a little wind!
23
00:00:53,865 --> 00:00:54,866
[grunts]
24
00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:57,411
- Ow! Ow, my leg!
- Wow.
25
00:00:57,494 --> 00:01:00,455
And now, an elemental punch
that's too hot to handle!
26
00:01:00,539 --> 00:01:01,915
Wa- kah!
27
00:01:01,999 --> 00:01:03,041
Oh, wow.
28
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,587
Curse you, Planetina! I'll get you next slime!
29
00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:07,629
[evil laughter]
30
00:01:07,713 --> 00:01:11,508
There's only one solution
for Earth's pollution: you!
31
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:13,719
- Wow.
- Morty, if you say wow one more time,
32
00:01:13,802 --> 00:01:14,803
I swear to fucking God.
33
00:01:14,886 --> 00:01:17,681
- Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
- Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty.
34
00:01:17,764 --> 00:01:19,808
It's 8 percent of the Earth.
We'll need every atom.
35
00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:24,605
- Thanks! Every litter- bit helps!
- [gasps] Your problem.
36
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,148
- Excuse me?
- Sorry.
37
00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:28,692
I wanted to say,
"No problem, you're welcome,"
38
00:01:28,775 --> 00:01:30,569
and it came out, "your problem."
39
00:01:30,652 --> 00:01:32,195
[chuckles] I'm an idiot. Sorry.
40
00:01:32,279 --> 00:01:34,656
You're not an idiot. You recycled.
41
00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,742
- I'm Morty.
- Nice to meet you, Morty.
42
00:01:36,825 --> 00:01:38,785
I'm Planetina, and I hope
you have a wonderful day.
43
00:01:38,869 --> 00:01:40,579
- [horn honks]
- Hey! The fuck we doing here?
44
00:01:40,662 --> 00:01:44,333
Uh, you like soft serve?
There's a shop around the bend.
45
00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:48,503
Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
Veal is a product of the dairy industry.
46
00:01:48,587 --> 00:01:50,422
- Oh, that's not good.
- No, it is not.
47
00:01:50,505 --> 00:01:51,465
[horn honks]
48
00:01:51,548 --> 00:01:53,759
Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
49
00:01:53,842 --> 00:01:55,761
I know a place that serves
cruelty- free doughnuts.
50
00:01:55,844 --> 00:01:57,888
If you'd like, I could fly you
and your friend there,
51
00:01:57,971 --> 00:02:00,724
- easy- peasy, lemon- squeezy.
- Okay, I'll ask him.
52
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,310
He-- He said he can't come. Let's go!
53
00:02:05,854 --> 00:02:07,606
What the fuck was that shit?
54
00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:09,608
[theme music playing]
55
00:02:39,763 --> 00:02:41,139
[Planetina] The Earth is in danger!
56
00:02:41,223 --> 00:02:43,725
Pollution and waste are ruining our planet.
57
00:02:43,809 --> 00:02:46,019
Mother Nature has enlisted
the help of four young adults
58
00:02:46,103 --> 00:02:48,313
from each major ethnicity,
and when things look bad,
59
00:02:48,397 --> 00:02:49,981
and I mean really bad,
60
00:02:50,065 --> 00:02:53,985
they combine the powers
of their elemental rings to create me!
61
00:02:54,069 --> 00:02:56,822
Planetina, conservationist super person!
62
00:02:56,905 --> 00:02:58,407
There's only one solution
63
00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,200
for Earth's pollution -- you!
64
00:03:00,283 --> 00:03:01,201
Pretty cool, huh?
65
00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:03,745
I can't believe I actually hung out with Planetina.
66
00:03:03,829 --> 00:03:06,498
How old is this woman? She looks very mature.
67
00:03:06,581 --> 00:03:10,127
She's a sentient amalgam of natural elements,
so I don't believe age applies to her.
68
00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:12,879
Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me
the day before his hella big pool party
69
00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:16,091
and my little brother's dating
a phase four super hero.
70
00:03:16,174 --> 00:03:17,968
Just shoot me in the fucking head until I die.
71
00:03:18,051 --> 00:03:21,221
Hey, hey, none of that, Summerfest.
Look what you're doing to your sister!
72
00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:22,723
Is it weird that she hasn't texted?
73
00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,015
- Yes.
- What if I told you
74
00:03:24,099 --> 00:03:25,809
Grandpa Rick's got something up his sleeve
75
00:03:25,892 --> 00:03:28,353
that's so Rick- diculous
it's gonna make you forget all about
76
00:03:28,437 --> 00:03:29,855
that stupid asshole that dumped you?
77
00:03:30,731 --> 00:03:31,982
Hey, my egg plate!
78
00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:34,484
Morglutz, Slartivart and Ferkus 9.
79
00:03:34,568 --> 00:03:37,529
Three planets are all ending in a delayed
succession of cataclysmic events.
80
00:03:37,612 --> 00:03:39,656
A jam like this comes around
only once in a lifetime.
81
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:43,285
Morglutz's sun is going supernova,
Slartivart is falling into a black hole,
82
00:03:43,368 --> 00:03:45,787
and Ferkus 9 is getting "Deep impact"- ed
by an asteroid.
83
00:03:45,871 --> 00:03:47,706
They're all having a major, final blow out,
84
00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:51,042
and I'm gonna drug it up and suck it up
before each one goes ka- blammo,
85
00:03:51,126 --> 00:03:53,587
and I'm taking my favorite grandkid
along with me!
86
00:03:53,670 --> 00:03:55,297
- Hells yeah.
- Ten seconds on Morglutz,
87
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,506
and you'll be up to your neck
88
00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:58,717
in I- could- give- two- shits-
about- what's- his- ass.
89
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,218
- And also herpes.
- Um...
90
00:04:00,302 --> 00:04:02,596
Oh, thank you, Grandpa Rick!
I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
91
00:04:02,679 --> 00:04:05,807
Um, Summer? I haven't given you
my approval yet.
92
00:04:05,891 --> 00:04:08,101
- [door closes]
- Summer, approval is yet to be given here!
93
00:04:08,226 --> 00:04:10,854
- [phone chimes]
- There's a huge forest fire like 200 miles from here!
94
00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:12,898
This is amazing! Planetina's bound to be there.
95
00:04:12,981 --> 00:04:14,900
Mom, I need the credit card
to buy a train ticket.
96
00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:15,859
Absolutely not.
97
00:04:15,942 --> 00:04:18,069
Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!
98
00:04:18,153 --> 00:04:20,071
- [both] You're not going!
- Da fuck I'm not.
99
00:04:20,155 --> 00:04:22,657
- Last time I checked, this wasn't Russia.
- It's not Russia, Jerry.
100
00:04:22,741 --> 00:04:24,785
My heart is broken, and I deserve to let loose,
101
00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:27,496
and if you don't like it,
you can suck my bigger tit.
102
00:04:27,579 --> 00:04:29,164
Adios, C- words.
103
00:04:29,247 --> 00:04:31,666
Morty, I don't want you getting hurt.
Please, think this over.
104
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:34,419
I don't want to think!
I want to see a girl I like.
105
00:04:34,503 --> 00:04:37,506
If you don't want to help me,
I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.
106
00:04:42,427 --> 00:04:44,387
- I'll get the wine.
- Thank you.
107
00:04:44,471 --> 00:04:47,265
The Governor has implemented
a mandatory evacuation.
108
00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:49,643
Abandon all hope, people!
Nothing will stop this fire.
109
00:04:49,726 --> 00:04:50,811
- Nothing!
- [whooshing]
110
00:04:50,894 --> 00:04:53,480
Scratch that! Here's Planetina,
Savioress of Earth!
111
00:04:54,022 --> 00:04:56,191
Yee- ouch! Talk about a hot foot.
112
00:04:56,274 --> 00:04:59,402
Better put this wildfire on ice!
113
00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:03,532
[Morty] Come here, little buddy.
Come on, come on, come on, I gotcha.
114
00:05:04,491 --> 00:05:08,036
- Morty? What are you doing here?
- Oh, hey! You're here, too?
115
00:05:08,119 --> 00:05:11,832
Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home,
and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand.
116
00:05:11,915 --> 00:05:13,458
Here you go, fella. All safe now.
117
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,336
[chuckles] Ah, rabbits. Always hopping.
118
00:05:16,419 --> 00:05:18,672
- Never stopping.
- [chuckles nervously] Yeah.
119
00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:21,591
So it was, uh, great hanging--
Hanging out the other day.
120
00:05:21,675 --> 00:05:25,136
I was getting kind of a--
I mean, I got kind of a positive vibe.
121
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,014
Oh, good. I was putting one out.
I really like you.
122
00:05:28,098 --> 00:05:31,768
Holy shit. I mean, uh, well, oh, all right.
123
00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:35,856
- Next step, you want to go out again?
- I do! But, uh, Morty,
124
00:05:35,939 --> 00:05:37,357
I have kids.
125
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,693
Oh, I'll get along with them. I'm a kid.
126
00:05:39,776 --> 00:05:41,778
No, I mean the four kids
that bring me into existence
127
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:43,655
by combining the power
of their elemental rings
128
00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:45,490
so I can save Earth
from ecological disasters.
129
00:05:45,574 --> 00:05:48,702
Oh, them! No, I know about them. I like them.
130
00:05:48,785 --> 00:05:50,495
Oh, good. Well, here they are now.
131
00:05:51,121 --> 00:05:54,082
Hey, buddy, you want an autograph?
That's 20 bucks a pop.
132
00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:55,917
No, Eddie, he's my friend.
133
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:58,378
Morty, these are my kids, The Tina- Teers.
134
00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:00,380
- Oh, hey.
- Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
135
00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:02,340
Uh, well, I had a plant- based
doughnut yesterday.
136
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:05,969
- Just a half.
- Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling.
137
00:06:06,052 --> 00:06:07,387
You want to be ugly?
138
00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,264
Heh, I thought they'd be younger.
139
00:06:09,347 --> 00:06:11,474
They've been manifesting me
since the mid- '90s.
140
00:06:11,558 --> 00:06:13,518
A lot has changed since then.
141
00:06:13,602 --> 00:06:15,145
This is freaking you out, huh?
142
00:06:15,228 --> 00:06:16,980
It is a lot to take in.
143
00:06:17,063 --> 00:06:19,149
I understand. Well...
144
00:06:19,232 --> 00:06:20,901
I guess I'd better go.
145
00:06:20,984 --> 00:06:22,277
See you around.
146
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,945
Hi- de- ho, TV 58!
147
00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:26,615
Planetina, you single- handedly
saved a National Forest with ease.
148
00:06:26,698 --> 00:06:29,784
- I do what I can, but I can't do it alone!
- And who's your friend over there?
149
00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:31,494
Oh! This is Morty Smith.
150
00:06:31,578 --> 00:06:34,456
He traveled 200 miles
just to save a rabbit from the fire.
151
00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:35,790
He's a very special guy.
152
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:38,919
- So, are you two dating?
- Oh, um, we-- I--
153
00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,254
Yes, we are.
154
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,714
['80s pop music plays]
155
00:06:43,256 --> 00:06:44,549
- Fuck love.
- Fuck love.
156
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,217
- Time to set the rules.
- Lay it on me.
157
00:06:46,301 --> 00:06:47,260
- No whining.
- Done.
158
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:48,386
- No crying.
- As if.
159
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,931
And absolutely,
positively no getting attached.
160
00:06:51,014 --> 00:06:53,350
We're here to smash max ass,
quantity over quality.
161
00:06:53,433 --> 00:06:54,267
- Deal?
- Deal!
162
00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:56,853
I'm gonna eat so much ass,
you're gonna shit.
163
00:06:56,937 --> 00:06:58,813
Check this out.
This is gonna be me at the party.
164
00:06:58,897 --> 00:07:00,023
[babbling]
165
00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:02,776
"Oh, is that another ass?
Don't mind if I--"
166
00:07:02,859 --> 00:07:04,194
- [slobbers]
- [Rick laughs]
167
00:07:04,277 --> 00:07:06,363
This'll be me across the room.
"Excuse me, miss."
168
00:07:06,446 --> 00:07:08,448
"It appears that you have an uneaten ass.
Allow me--"
169
00:07:08,531 --> 00:07:09,908
[slobbers]
170
00:07:09,991 --> 00:07:11,534
[both slobber]
171
00:07:15,288 --> 00:07:19,334
- Whoo! Fucking supernova party!
- Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
172
00:07:19,417 --> 00:07:22,712
The world's ending, and for some reason,
I want to die with you more than anyone else.
173
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:24,589
- [giggles] Wow!
- Yo, Rick, don't look now,
174
00:07:24,673 --> 00:07:26,716
but someone's giving you the big eye.
175
00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:32,931
Excuse me. I got to see a man about
a horse I'd rather have sex with.
176
00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:34,099
[grunts]
177
00:07:34,182 --> 00:07:35,976
- Hello.
- I'm Rick. Hey.
178
00:07:36,059 --> 00:07:40,105
So, the world's ending, and for some reason,
I want to die with you more than anyone else.
179
00:07:40,188 --> 00:07:42,190
- Hello.
- [Summer] Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
180
00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:43,900
No commitments!
181
00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:48,822
♪ I flew to you on an airplane ♪
182
00:07:51,282 --> 00:07:56,955
♪ I was afraid that you gave me strength ♪
183
00:07:57,914 --> 00:08:02,252
♪ Forever, birds were soul twin loves ♪
184
00:08:04,295 --> 00:08:09,092
♪ Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back like it was ♪
185
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:11,553
- Surprise!
- What are you doing here?
186
00:08:11,636 --> 00:08:12,470
Mmm!
187
00:08:12,554 --> 00:08:15,181
I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries.
188
00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:21,104
All kidding aside, everyone should discard
used batteries at proper disposal centers
189
00:08:21,187 --> 00:08:23,732
instead of tossing them into a regular waste bin.
190
00:08:23,815 --> 00:08:24,941
[Morty] Thanks for the tip.
191
00:08:25,025 --> 00:08:28,069
♪ Flowers never last forever ♪
192
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:31,156
♪ But we can make it past forever ♪
193
00:08:31,239 --> 00:08:35,785
♪ Baby, come home to me
Baby, you're home with me ♪
194
00:08:37,078 --> 00:08:39,497
[cheering]
195
00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:42,792
Solus is collapsing in five zip- zops.
196
00:08:42,876 --> 00:08:46,004
If we time it right, we can skeet together
as the sun explodes.
197
00:08:46,087 --> 00:08:49,215
Sounds amazing.
Say, I think I left my purse back at the bar.
198
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:51,176
Can both of you go get it for me?
199
00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:53,386
Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
200
00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:56,222
- Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
- [Rick] Righty- right. Meet me at the car.
201
00:08:57,223 --> 00:08:59,517
One of these has to be hers. Where'd she go?
202
00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:01,978
- I guess we'll have to start without her.
- Oh, her loss.
203
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:03,313
[slobbering]
204
00:09:05,565 --> 00:09:07,692
Whoo! Planet number two, let's do it!
205
00:09:07,776 --> 00:09:09,861
Sorry I took so long.
I had to ditch some clingers.
206
00:09:09,944 --> 00:09:11,946
[slurring] Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
207
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:14,240
- Geez, you okay to drive?
- Shit!
208
00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:16,326
'Course I'm mable.
209
00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:18,453
Bu-- [burps] --ckle up.
210
00:09:22,165 --> 00:09:23,374
[Summer] Yeah!
211
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:26,920
Whoo! The best week of my life!
212
00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:27,962
[voice] Hello.
213
00:09:28,046 --> 00:09:29,297
- What was that?
- Nothing.
214
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:33,176
Who wants to see the most radadelic
lady- version of a super hero?
215
00:09:33,259 --> 00:09:34,344
[cheering]
216
00:09:34,427 --> 00:09:35,637
- Fire!
- Water!
217
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,972
- Air!
- And dirt!
218
00:09:40,308 --> 00:09:41,684
[crowd gasps]
219
00:09:41,768 --> 00:09:44,479
Oh, no, the convention. Morty, wake up!
We overslept.
220
00:09:44,562 --> 00:09:46,731
- What's happening?
- Hey, there's a little boy on her!
221
00:09:46,815 --> 00:09:48,191
Oh, drop the curtain!
222
00:09:48,274 --> 00:09:50,443
- There is no curtain!
- Idiot, zap her away!
223
00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:52,195
- No, no, no. Wait, I--
- Whoa!
224
00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:54,531
- Security!
- What did you do? Bring her back!
225
00:09:54,614 --> 00:09:56,074
- No! Let me go!
- Sorry, folks.
226
00:09:56,157 --> 00:09:57,617
Planetina will be back in a moment.
227
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:02,789
Until then, who wants
a limited edition Funko for only $50?
228
00:10:02,872 --> 00:10:04,582
- [crowd cheers]
- This is very bad.
229
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:07,627
We are about to close deal.
We cannot afford controversy.
230
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:11,131
Don't you worry. I know how
to deal with this Morty kid.
231
00:10:13,842 --> 00:10:15,510
[cheering]
232
00:10:16,052 --> 00:10:20,265
Hey, a bunch of us are going over
to Hibler's place to shoot ourselves.
233
00:10:20,348 --> 00:10:21,933
You want to come with?
234
00:10:22,016 --> 00:10:25,019
Sorry, but no man's tying down
Sum- Sum tonight. Hit the dicks.
235
00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:29,107
Your loss, honey. You could have had all this.
236
00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:30,191
[sobs]
237
00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:33,111
Hey, check it out! There's old people dancing!
238
00:10:33,194 --> 00:10:34,821
[dance music plays]
239
00:10:42,245 --> 00:10:43,830
Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
240
00:10:43,913 --> 00:10:45,081
- Hello.
- [Summer] Rick!
241
00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:47,750
What the WTF is that
Morglutzian doing here?
242
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,627
Morglutzian? She's--
She's not Morglutzian.
243
00:10:49,711 --> 00:10:52,213
She's the only blue person here
without three eyes!
244
00:10:52,297 --> 00:10:54,883
Okay, fine. Busted. This is, uh, Daphne.
245
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:58,219
- Daphne, this is Summer, my granddaughter.
- Granddaughter? Hello.
246
00:10:58,303 --> 00:11:01,306
Daphne heard about our little party crawl,
and I told her she could come with.
247
00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:02,432
In the trunk.
248
00:11:02,515 --> 00:11:05,351
What in the actual fuck, Rick?
We said no commitments!
249
00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:08,271
This was to be our Apocalypse party crawl!
250
00:11:08,354 --> 00:11:09,522
You broke the rules!
251
00:11:09,606 --> 00:11:11,691
Squares follow rules, Summer.
Daphne's down to freak.
252
00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:14,360
She's up for any-- [burps]
sick, nasty thing I want to do.
253
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:15,778
- Hello.
- Oh, yeah, baby.
254
00:11:15,862 --> 00:11:18,198
[both moan]
255
00:11:19,699 --> 00:11:22,452
All right, fellas, take five.
He ain't gonna give me any trouble.
256
00:11:23,703 --> 00:11:25,455
- [Morty] Where's Planetina?
- Don't you worry.
257
00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:28,958
- I want to see her!
- Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities.
258
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:30,585
People depend on her.
259
00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:34,172
And you, my friend, are a distraction
we can't afford right now.
260
00:11:34,255 --> 00:11:37,258
She's just a product to you, isn't she?
Something to make money off of.
261
00:11:37,342 --> 00:11:38,843
Well, Planetina's more than that.
262
00:11:38,927 --> 00:11:40,887
She's a brilliant, living thing, and I love her.
263
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:42,972
Oh, you love her? Well, guess what?
264
00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:46,643
We own her. But not for long, of course.
265
00:11:46,726 --> 00:11:49,062
We're gonna sell her
to some Arab overseas.
266
00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:50,480
Fire.
267
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:52,857
As for you,
maybe she won't love you so much
268
00:11:52,941 --> 00:11:55,610
- if you ain't so pretty no more.
- [whimpers] Stop!
269
00:11:55,693 --> 00:11:56,986
- [Morty grunts]
- Ow!
270
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:58,905
- You want to fuck with me? Do you?
- Ow!
271
00:11:58,988 --> 00:12:00,365
Stupid fucking shit hole!
272
00:12:00,448 --> 00:12:02,283
- [screams]
- [grunts]
273
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,410
[Guard] Boss, what's happening?
Let us in!
274
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:06,079
- [grunts]
- [screams]
275
00:12:06,162 --> 00:12:07,413
[spits] Fire!
276
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:09,415
[screams]
277
00:12:09,499 --> 00:12:11,501
Fire!
278
00:12:13,795 --> 00:12:15,546
Can we conclude our business?
279
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:19,050
I'm eager to celebrate my purchase
of Planetina over dinner,
280
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:21,636
and these infant seals
aren't getting any younger.
281
00:12:21,719 --> 00:12:25,598
Momentarily, comrade.
Soon, our partner will return.
282
00:12:25,682 --> 00:12:27,767
[grunts] What is taking Eddie so long?
283
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:29,477
His phone keep going to voicemail.
284
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,562
[Eddie] ♪ Start leaving a message ♪
285
00:12:31,646 --> 00:12:33,606
♪ I can't make it to the phone ♪
286
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,400
Just kidding. It's Eddie. Go fuck yourself.
287
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,567
[beeps]
288
00:12:36,651 --> 00:12:38,027
Which one of you ordered a pizza?
289
00:12:38,111 --> 00:12:40,071
No- one order pizza. What is this?
290
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:43,908
Well, I got a cheesy Italian,
extra crispy just for you.
291
00:12:45,118 --> 00:12:47,829
I know those cheekbones
like they're me own! It's Eddie!
292
00:12:47,912 --> 00:12:49,163
Fucking mother! Kill him!
293
00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:50,915
- Stone! Stone!
- [Morty] Fire!
294
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,418
[gunfire]
295
00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:55,044
[yells]
296
00:12:57,297 --> 00:12:58,840
- Air!
- [air whooshing]
297
00:12:59,757 --> 00:13:01,509
Cold water! Cold water!
298
00:13:01,592 --> 00:13:03,219
- Dirt!
- [ice shatters]
299
00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:04,595
Fire!
300
00:13:05,596 --> 00:13:07,348
- Wha--
- [screaming]
301
00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:08,766
Air.
302
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:11,769
Now we can be together, Planetina.
303
00:13:11,853 --> 00:13:15,189
I am an individual character,
I represent no group.
304
00:13:15,273 --> 00:13:17,859
- Fire! Water! Dirt! Air!
- [screaming]
305
00:13:17,942 --> 00:13:19,193
[screams]
306
00:13:20,111 --> 00:13:23,406
- Ah! Not good!
- [seals growl]
307
00:13:24,907 --> 00:13:26,284
[seals bark]
308
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:29,662
[crowd] Blib! Naga! Threve!
309
00:13:29,746 --> 00:13:32,040
Verillex! Gam!
310
00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:33,875
Happy Apocalypse!
311
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,793
- Oh, my God!
- This is awful!
312
00:13:35,877 --> 00:13:36,961
Why were we cheering?
313
00:13:37,045 --> 00:13:38,755
[rumbling]
314
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:44,260
Hello. Got any agua around here?
315
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:45,553
Mama's got to hydrate.
316
00:13:45,636 --> 00:13:46,888
Glove box.
317
00:13:46,971 --> 00:13:48,931
Oh, yeah.
318
00:13:50,224 --> 00:13:52,268
Rick is the coolest guy ever.
319
00:13:52,352 --> 00:13:53,686
We're total soul mates.
320
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,314
He's gonna show me
the wonders of the universe.
321
00:13:56,397 --> 00:13:58,149
Ha! Once we get to the next planet,
322
00:13:58,232 --> 00:14:00,610
Grandpa Rick is gonna ditch you, like, so fast.
323
00:14:00,693 --> 00:14:02,028
Oh, is that so?
324
00:14:02,111 --> 00:14:04,697
Uh- huh. Nobody is tying that guy down, ever.
325
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:07,116
The only chick seeing the universe
with Rick is me.
326
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,286
Not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these.
327
00:14:11,371 --> 00:14:12,789
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
328
00:14:12,872 --> 00:14:15,124
Oh, yeah. That's right, girlfriend.
329
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,085
This is what you're up against.
330
00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:19,087
Wars were fought over these.
331
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:22,465
They've ruined kings, inspired presidents.
332
00:14:22,548 --> 00:14:25,259
A hundred songs and nine national anthems
333
00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:27,303
have been written about them.
334
00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:30,473
Best set of elbow- titties on Morglutz.
335
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:34,894
And now, thanks to Rick, the best in the galaxy.
336
00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:36,896
- You want me to put them away?
- Please.
337
00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:40,191
Sure. But only because
you're Rick's granddaughter.
338
00:14:40,274 --> 00:14:43,778
Daph? Daphne? Where are you, baby?
Papa needs some more elbow grease.
339
00:14:43,861 --> 00:14:46,531
Coming! You might want to keep
your eyes on the road.
340
00:14:46,614 --> 00:14:48,908
It's about to get sloppy.
341
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:50,910
- [Rick] Hello!
- [Daphne] Hello.
342
00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:53,204
- [groans]
- [loud moaning, creaking]
343
00:14:53,287 --> 00:14:56,249
Then I put my sunglasses on
and walked out like nothing happened.
344
00:14:56,332 --> 00:14:59,043
I'm finally free. All because of Morty.
345
00:14:59,127 --> 00:15:00,837
What a romantic story
346
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,131
about our son killing a room full of people.
347
00:15:03,214 --> 00:15:04,674
Your turn.
348
00:15:04,757 --> 00:15:08,344
Uh, seven. One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven!
349
00:15:08,469 --> 00:15:10,638
Oy, don't punch my lunch!
350
00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:13,057
- A- ha! Eat it!
- I'm out of food cards.
351
00:15:13,141 --> 00:15:17,019
- How about I loan you two quiche at 10 percent?
- That's so generous.
352
00:15:17,103 --> 00:15:18,646
[Jerry] My turn!
353
00:15:19,272 --> 00:15:22,525
- Double sixes, baby! One, two, three.
- So, what's next for Planetina?
354
00:15:22,608 --> 00:15:26,154
Well, now that I'm not distracted
by book signings and publicity stunts,
355
00:15:26,237 --> 00:15:28,739
Morty and I can concentrate
on more important things.
356
00:15:28,823 --> 00:15:30,783
- Like school.
- Like moving in.
357
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:33,995
Planetina doesn't have a place to stay now,
so I said she could live with us.
358
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:36,080
- Holy shit. Morty, no.
- I'm so full!
359
00:15:36,164 --> 00:15:38,374
- What do you mean, no?
- [whoops] Ha- ha!
360
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,834
I wouldn't be a burden, Mrs. Smith.
361
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:43,045
I only want to spend as much time
as possible with your son.
362
00:15:43,129 --> 00:15:45,006
My son is 14, miss.
363
00:15:45,089 --> 00:15:47,049
I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
364
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:49,469
But you were a teenager
when Dad got you pregnant.
365
00:15:49,552 --> 00:15:52,763
I was 17! That's at least 26 in boy years.
366
00:15:52,847 --> 00:15:54,640
I'm sure Planetina is very nice,
367
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,976
but when you're a teenager,
love is fleeting, at best.
368
00:15:57,059 --> 00:16:00,229
You underestimate Morty.
He is a very mature young man.
369
00:16:00,313 --> 00:16:02,023
See, Mom? I told you!
370
00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:04,192
This is not happening. End of discussion.
371
00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:06,486
Planetina, I think you should leave, please.
372
00:16:06,569 --> 00:16:07,987
Okay, Mrs. Smith.
373
00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:10,448
- Oh, no! [burps]
- Mom, I hate you!
374
00:16:10,531 --> 00:16:12,033
- You suck!
- Hey, now, it's only a game.
375
00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:13,034
- [both] Shut up!
- Okay.
376
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:14,744
My whole life, I've never fit in anywhere.
377
00:16:14,827 --> 00:16:17,163
Everything I have to say
is always met with an eye roll,
378
00:16:17,246 --> 00:16:20,041
as if the act of hearing what I have
to say is some exhausting chore.
379
00:16:20,124 --> 00:16:22,752
Nobody in this family thinks
I can say or do anything right!
380
00:16:22,835 --> 00:16:25,004
I've been all over the universe,
met hundreds of people,
381
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:28,591
and Planetina's the only one I've ever met
that makes me feel like I belong,
382
00:16:28,674 --> 00:16:30,301
and you just kicked her out of our house!
383
00:16:30,384 --> 00:16:33,095
- Morty, please--
- I will never forgive you for this!
384
00:16:33,179 --> 00:16:37,058
♪ Get the sword and throw it far ♪
385
00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,686
♪ Let it shine under the morning star♪
386
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,522
Morty! Morty, come back!
387
00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:50,279
♪ Who are you? Who am I to you? ♪
388
00:16:51,822 --> 00:16:55,159
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
389
00:16:58,371 --> 00:17:03,084
♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
390
00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:09,215
♪ Into your arms race ♪
391
00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:15,137
[inaudible dialogue]
392
00:17:18,307 --> 00:17:20,560
Get out! All of you, get out of there!
393
00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:21,852
You're killing the planet!
394
00:17:21,936 --> 00:17:25,439
Your people didn't get the votes.
Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
395
00:17:25,523 --> 00:17:27,149
It's you people who should be arrested.
396
00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:30,152
Gutting the land, poisoning
the air your children breathe?
397
00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,238
Can't you see what you're doing?
398
00:17:32,321 --> 00:17:34,115
Easy for you to say!
You can live how you want!
399
00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:37,994
We need the jobs. Let's go, boys.
She can't stop us.
400
00:17:38,077 --> 00:17:40,580
- We'll get them next time.
- There's no time left!
401
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:42,832
Can't you hear the Earth screaming?
402
00:17:42,915 --> 00:17:45,334
- You filthy murderers!
- Planetina, stop it!
403
00:17:45,418 --> 00:17:49,338
There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!
404
00:17:49,422 --> 00:17:52,174
- [screaming]
- Oh, my God, no.
405
00:17:52,258 --> 00:17:54,552
♪ Who am I to you? ♪
406
00:17:54,635 --> 00:17:55,761
[screaming]
407
00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:59,432
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
408
00:17:59,515 --> 00:18:00,850
No!
409
00:18:04,854 --> 00:18:08,107
I can't believe I'm banging my co- workers.
And I'm the boss!
410
00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:12,069
This gay sex with my dad is terrific!
What was I thinking?
411
00:18:12,153 --> 00:18:13,654
It'll all be over soon!
412
00:18:13,738 --> 00:18:15,906
Last chance to pee on me! Anyone?
413
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:18,409
Okay, Grandpa, the meteor's almost here.
We can go now.
414
00:18:18,492 --> 00:18:20,036
Ah, nah, we still got time.
415
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,705
Well, then, stop being in love
and start having fun.
416
00:18:22,788 --> 00:18:25,166
Oh, love's pretty fun, Summer.
Just give it a chance.
417
00:18:25,249 --> 00:18:28,794
It's not even real love!
Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving!
418
00:18:28,878 --> 00:18:31,130
Ah, the young. So naive.
419
00:18:33,507 --> 00:18:34,884
[squishing, moaning]
420
00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:36,427
[groans]
421
00:18:37,678 --> 00:18:39,055
Ew, gross.
422
00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:42,308
[engine starts]
423
00:18:42,391 --> 00:18:44,101
[squeaking]
424
00:18:44,185 --> 00:18:45,561
[muffled scream]
425
00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:55,905
Congratulations, Ferkisians!
Your apocalypse is aborted.
426
00:18:55,988 --> 00:18:57,531
And Grandpa, you and I can go home.
427
00:18:57,615 --> 00:19:00,993
Daphne, you may come with.
If you want to and don't have to.
428
00:19:01,077 --> 00:19:04,747
I don't know what you're getting at, Summer.
Obviously, Daphne wants to--
429
00:19:05,122 --> 00:19:08,292
Oh, you cold bitch. Hello?
430
00:19:08,376 --> 00:19:09,627
Goodbye.
431
00:19:10,461 --> 00:19:12,713
Hey, she's the one that saved the world!
432
00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:14,548
Now we got to go to work tomorrow!
433
00:19:14,632 --> 00:19:16,092
[all booing]
434
00:19:16,175 --> 00:19:17,551
You fucker!
435
00:19:19,512 --> 00:19:22,890
- Sorry I messed things up with Daphne.
- Just shut up. I get it.
436
00:19:22,973 --> 00:19:25,017
- Really? You're not mad?
- I'm furious.
437
00:19:27,061 --> 00:19:29,397
But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you
438
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:34,110
to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism
just to destroy one dumb relationship.
439
00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:36,070
Still, sorry.
440
00:19:36,153 --> 00:19:38,322
Eh, I would've done the same for you.
441
00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:40,032
Promise?
442
00:19:40,449 --> 00:19:42,702
- Love you, Grandpa Rick.
- Don't make it weird.
443
00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:47,581
[phone chimes]
444
00:19:54,588 --> 00:19:55,840
[phone chimes]
445
00:19:57,591 --> 00:20:00,261
Please go. I can't see you anymore.
446
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:02,304
Don't you even want to try to make it work?
447
00:20:02,388 --> 00:20:05,224
- We were so close.
- You murdered 300 people.
448
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:08,936
- And you murdered my kids.
- They were gonna sell you away forever.
449
00:20:09,019 --> 00:20:11,981
Eddie was trying to kill me!
Those miners were innocent.
450
00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:16,152
Those innocent miners voted men into power
to protect their precious jobs
451
00:20:16,235 --> 00:20:19,363
so they can buy more plastic garbage
and eat the corpses of tortured animals.
452
00:20:19,447 --> 00:20:21,282
The system is broken, Morty.
453
00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:24,535
This is the only way I can save Earth.
454
00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:26,412
The only way I can save you.
455
00:20:26,495 --> 00:20:29,540
If that's the only way, I don't want to be saved.
456
00:20:29,623 --> 00:20:33,043
- Please go.
- But I love you.
457
00:20:34,587 --> 00:20:38,007
I can't-- I can't love you. I just can't.
458
00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:40,426
- Please understand.
- No. [sniffles]
459
00:20:40,509 --> 00:20:41,969
I'll go. [sniffles]
460
00:20:42,052 --> 00:20:44,889
But don't you dare ask me to understand.
461
00:20:44,972 --> 00:20:47,266
Planetina, I'm so sorry.
462
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:49,894
Fuck you.
463
00:21:01,197 --> 00:21:03,657
Morty? Are you all right?
464
00:21:03,741 --> 00:21:05,326
She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
465
00:21:05,409 --> 00:21:07,620
[sobs] I loved her so much!
466
00:21:07,703 --> 00:21:09,497
I know you did, honey.
467
00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:11,916
- [sobs]
- Shh, Mommy's here.
468
00:21:11,999 --> 00:21:16,879
♪ Let it shine under the morning star♪
469
00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:21,133
♪ Who are you? ♪
470
00:21:21,217 --> 00:21:23,761
♪ Who am I to you? ♪
471
00:21:25,471 --> 00:21:29,642
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
472
00:21:31,977 --> 00:21:36,732
♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
473
00:21:38,776 --> 00:21:42,154
♪ Into your arms ♪
474
00:21:52,498 --> 00:21:53,916
[bell jingles]
475
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:58,879
[clears throat] Good morning.
476
00:21:58,963 --> 00:22:00,089
Morning.
477
00:22:01,757 --> 00:22:04,385
- Slow day, huh?
- Yep.
478
00:22:04,468 --> 00:22:06,637
Probably because everybody thought
479
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:11,308
the world wouldn't be,
you know, like, here today.
480
00:22:11,392 --> 00:22:13,102
- Mm- hm.
- Mom in back?
481
00:22:13,185 --> 00:22:14,478
Mom's not talking to us.
482
00:22:14,562 --> 00:22:16,355
Because we had sex?
483
00:22:16,438 --> 00:22:19,525
- Yes.
- Uh, yeah. That makes sense.
484
00:22:20,317 --> 00:22:22,194
Happy birthday, by the way.
485
00:22:23,362 --> 00:22:24,697
[sighs]