1 00:00:08,919 --> 00:00:10,420 Jerry, can you watch the kids tonight? 2 00:00:10,504 --> 00:00:12,589 Someone played Barry White over the racetrack speakers, 3 00:00:12,673 --> 00:00:14,800 - and now there's a seven- horse pregnancy. - Oh, um-- 4 00:00:14,883 --> 00:00:17,260 No, he can't watch the kids, it's guys' night. 5 00:00:17,344 --> 00:00:19,054 How did you two start having guys' nights? 6 00:00:19,137 --> 00:00:21,515 So now, you're complaining that I like your stupid husband? 7 00:00:21,598 --> 00:00:23,684 No, I want you to like my stupid husband. 8 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,394 - Aw. - Well, then accept that Friday nights 9 00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:26,812 are all about Rick and Jerry. 10 00:00:26,895 --> 00:00:28,522 - We're buds! - Uh- huh. 11 00:00:28,605 --> 00:00:31,274 Well, I don't nearly have the time to unpack this. 12 00:00:31,358 --> 00:00:33,235 Summer, you're in charge of your brother tonight. 13 00:00:33,318 --> 00:00:35,195 No parties and no vape stuff. 14 00:00:35,278 --> 00:00:37,030 Mom, I have a friend coming over. 15 00:00:37,114 --> 00:00:38,365 - Is that cool? - No fair. 16 00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:40,784 No fair, Morty. I just told your sister no parties. 17 00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:42,411 - It's one friend. - That's a party to you. 18 00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:44,121 But it's Bruce Chutback! 19 00:00:44,204 --> 00:00:47,416 Wait, what? Mom, let Morty have one friend over for God's sake. This isn't China. 20 00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:49,209 And they're all crowning. I have to go. 21 00:00:49,292 --> 00:00:52,379 I am giving you two trust and respect. So if you mess up and teleport this house, 22 00:00:52,462 --> 00:00:54,756 it'd be wise to stay on it and not come back. 23 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,260 - I'm with her. Touch my shit and die. - [door closes] 24 00:00:58,343 --> 00:01:01,680 Bruce Chutback, new transfer student Bruce Chutback is coming here? 25 00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:03,849 - How'd you lock that down? - He's in my math class! 26 00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:07,269 I don't know, I just kinda shot my shot and it worked, I guess because he's new? 27 00:01:07,352 --> 00:01:09,479 - And you're putting out grapes? - Yeah, I'll admit. 28 00:01:09,563 --> 00:01:11,982 - I'm a little bit out of my depth. - You're gonna need my help. 29 00:01:12,065 --> 00:01:13,942 It's only a matter of time before Bruce learns 30 00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:17,237 you're a creepy little Grandpa's boy, always climbing up into alien asses-- 31 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,990 Or the Summer Smith shampoos her pubes rumor! 32 00:01:20,073 --> 00:01:21,491 Okay. You came to play. 33 00:01:21,575 --> 00:01:25,036 We both need to acquire Chutback's loyalty before he finds out we're losers. 34 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,622 By all accounts, it's a very small window. 35 00:01:27,706 --> 00:01:30,876 So, I think it's in our best interest to work as a team. 36 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:32,711 Yeah. Most people would call that family. 37 00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:34,629 - [farts] - You're so gross! 38 00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,214 You have to like it or you're sexist! 39 00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:40,635 - Can I do the hell cube this time? - Sure, pal. 40 00:01:41,928 --> 00:01:44,639 [grunts] How do you know when it's aligned? 41 00:01:44,723 --> 00:01:48,143 Come on, Jerry, just, it's an evil cube. Just shake it until it draws blood. 42 00:01:52,105 --> 00:01:56,151 Ah, Jerry! Exquisite finery this evening. 43 00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:59,362 Well, don't tell Ross, but I got this little ditty from Kohl's. 44 00:01:59,446 --> 00:02:01,156 - [Rick groans] - [cenobites laugh] 45 00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:03,033 I love that I don't get it. 46 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:06,203 Tell us, what delights have you in store for us? 47 00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:09,956 Oh, you'll love this. I call it Jerry- oke. I'll let you guess why. 48 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,083 - [Rick groans] - [cenobites laugh] 49 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,295 What's the matter, Rick? Are you having a bad time? 50 00:02:15,378 --> 00:02:18,131 - Because to us, a bad time is-- - Yeah, a good time. 51 00:02:18,215 --> 00:02:20,509 Because you guys are like Oscar the fucking Grouch. 52 00:02:20,592 --> 00:02:25,096 We love suffering. Therefore, we love hanging out with Jerry! 53 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,516 His lameness is our candy! 54 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,893 Yeah, I got that, but when is enough gonna be enough? 55 00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:33,814 When we decide you've repaid your debt for those faulty skin hooks. 56 00:02:33,897 --> 00:02:35,065 Hey, we're in luck, gang. 57 00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:37,275 They've got the entire Smash Mouth catalog! 58 00:02:37,359 --> 00:02:39,027 [laughter] 59 00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:40,445 [theme music playing] 60 00:03:11,226 --> 00:03:13,144 - [doorbell rings] - No! Morty. Wait. 61 00:03:17,482 --> 00:03:18,984 ♪ Bruce Chutback ♪ 62 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,861 ♪ Newest kid in school ♪ 63 00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:22,237 ♪ Just transferred in ♪ 64 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,406 ♪ Hasn't done anything embarrassing yet ♪ 65 00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:26,449 ♪ Unlimited potential ♪ 66 00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:28,827 ♪ Anybody's guess ♪ 67 00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:30,745 ♪ No credit is perfect credit ♪ 68 00:03:30,829 --> 00:03:32,038 ♪ Chutback is the best ♪ 69 00:03:32,122 --> 00:03:35,458 - Bruce! Hey, how's it hanging, my guy? - Hey. 70 00:03:38,628 --> 00:03:42,257 Here's something kinda cool. Um, TV from every dimension. 71 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:44,843 - Cool. - My grandpa made it, he's a scientist. 72 00:03:44,926 --> 00:03:47,512 [man] And now back to Olympic Diving With Bad Swimmers. 73 00:03:48,388 --> 00:03:50,932 [man 2] There he goes. Perfect dive. 74 00:03:51,016 --> 00:03:52,517 [gasping] 75 00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:53,560 Terrible swimmer. 76 00:03:53,643 --> 00:03:54,936 [applause on TV] 77 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:56,354 [video game beeping] 78 00:03:57,856 --> 00:04:00,901 Is that classic Snake? Boy, that guy just keeps getting bigger. 79 00:04:00,984 --> 00:04:04,362 Hi, Summer Smith, Morty's older sister. Want some sofa wine? 80 00:04:04,446 --> 00:04:07,699 It's been stashed for weeks, should be good tasting. 81 00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,743 Tight. I'm more of like a Hard Seltzer guy. 82 00:04:09,826 --> 00:04:12,329 Tight. Very tight, extremely tight. 83 00:04:12,412 --> 00:04:14,873 - Morty, help me with the Seltz? - Feel fear-- Feel fee. 84 00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:17,250 Feel free to have some grapes! 85 00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:19,294 Dude. This bitch plays it close to the vest. 86 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:22,547 Yeah, he really knows what's for sale. I mean, we're drowning out there. 87 00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:25,216 We need to get interesting fast. We're touching Rick's stuff. 88 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:29,721 - Summer, he said no! - Nah- uh- uh! I said don't touch my shit. 89 00:04:29,804 --> 00:04:32,390 Also, I just watched Jurassic Park on cable. So good. 90 00:04:32,474 --> 00:04:35,852 Seriously though, touch my shit and I'll freeze your dick in amber. 91 00:04:35,936 --> 00:04:38,438 - [door closes] - He left! Son of a bitch, we blew it! 92 00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:42,734 Sorry. I just needed to get another look at this beauty. 93 00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:44,444 Looks like a spaceship made of garbage. 94 00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:46,655 - You called it, Bruce. - It's a pretty cool car. 95 00:04:46,738 --> 00:04:47,697 Can you guys drive it? 96 00:04:47,781 --> 00:04:49,532 - Yes. - Yes. We just-- 97 00:04:49,616 --> 00:04:50,909 - Need. - To get the keys. 98 00:04:50,992 --> 00:04:52,869 Which I am, you guys hang out. 99 00:04:52,953 --> 00:04:55,205 Or don't, I'm not a hang- out Hitler. 100 00:04:56,373 --> 00:04:57,791 - Cool night. - Is it? 101 00:04:57,874 --> 00:04:59,751 I don't know. Nights. 102 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:04,506 I mean, for what they are, this one, in my opinion? I think is an eight? 103 00:05:04,589 --> 00:05:07,550 - Wow. - On a scale of 16. So, average. 104 00:05:07,634 --> 00:05:09,344 Jesus Christ, I'm fucking dying up here. 105 00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:10,303 - What? - Hm? 106 00:05:10,387 --> 00:05:15,016 Keys! So, uh, let's do this! 107 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,893 [female voice] You are not Rick. 108 00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:20,939 That's correct, Car, it's me Summer, remember? Keep Summer Safe? Buds? 109 00:05:21,022 --> 00:05:23,692 - I am aware of your existence. - Oof. 110 00:05:23,775 --> 00:05:27,112 - I got this. Defense System Offline. - Um, right. 111 00:05:27,195 --> 00:05:30,240 I'll just go offline whenever anyone suggests it. 112 00:05:30,323 --> 00:05:33,702 That would make me the greatest defense system in the universe. 113 00:05:33,785 --> 00:05:35,829 Well, how do you go offline? 114 00:05:35,912 --> 00:05:39,582 The answer to how I do anything is Rick tells me. 115 00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:43,878 And I hate to sound like a broken record, but you are not Rick. 116 00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:47,590 - Rick's in trouble. - Tell me where he is. 117 00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:48,925 And you'll just believe us? 118 00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:50,969 We aren't Rick. You can't just do what we say. 119 00:05:51,052 --> 00:05:53,263 - Correct. - Which means Rick is going to die! 120 00:05:53,346 --> 00:05:57,642 Because of you. Unless you go offline and then we can go save Rick. 121 00:05:58,351 --> 00:06:02,022 This computes. Good night. 122 00:06:02,105 --> 00:06:03,273 [lock clicks] 123 00:06:03,356 --> 00:06:05,275 Booyah much? 124 00:06:05,775 --> 00:06:06,651 [cans rattling] 125 00:06:08,445 --> 00:06:11,823 [Jerry] ♪ Da- bow- bow Oh, yeah ♪ 126 00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:14,993 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 127 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:22,792 ♪ The moon, beautiful ♪ 128 00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:29,883 ♪ The sun, even more beautiful ♪ 129 00:06:30,508 --> 00:06:31,384 ♪ Bow- bow ♪ 130 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:34,179 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 131 00:06:34,262 --> 00:06:36,639 ♪ Bow- bow Oh, yeah ♪ 132 00:06:37,807 --> 00:06:39,642 - ♪ Bow- bow ♪ - Beth! 133 00:06:41,269 --> 00:06:44,481 - ♪ Bow- bow! ♪ - [laughter] 134 00:06:44,564 --> 00:06:46,191 I thought you were birthing horses. 135 00:06:46,274 --> 00:06:48,193 Yeah, they're horses, it takes, like, two minutes. 136 00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:50,820 All right, that's unbelievable. Give it up for our next singer. 137 00:06:50,904 --> 00:06:53,114 - Jerry! Jerry's here again. - How long have you been here? 138 00:06:53,198 --> 00:06:56,159 Long enough to see guy's night is clearly you and a bunch of demon people 139 00:06:56,242 --> 00:06:58,078 making fun of my husband without him knowing it. 140 00:06:58,161 --> 00:06:59,996 Okay, but I'm not doing it because I enjoy it. 141 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,457 These guys can do a lot of damage if you-- Beth! 142 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:03,833 [cenobites chatter] 143 00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:07,003 Enjoying punching down? You're not so cool yourself you know. 144 00:07:07,087 --> 00:07:09,547 You have pens in your head, you look like a goddamn idiot. 145 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:11,883 - [Rick] Beth! - Oh, my God, you're Beth? 146 00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:12,967 Please drink with us. 147 00:07:13,051 --> 00:07:17,263 Yeah, I would, except I don't get pleasure from mocking others because I'm not lame. 148 00:07:17,347 --> 00:07:19,599 We know. Rick says you're very cool. 149 00:07:20,183 --> 00:07:22,644 You said that? Are they lying? It doesn't matter. 150 00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:24,813 - Have fun sucking! - [Jerry singing] 151 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,690 - Mm. What is that? - Essence of Hell. 152 00:07:27,774 --> 00:07:30,485 Well, that's a stupid name, but it's really good, 153 00:07:30,568 --> 00:07:34,280 so I'll stay to support Jerry, who I think is cooler than you. 154 00:07:34,364 --> 00:07:35,907 Mm. Goddamn! 155 00:07:43,081 --> 00:07:44,415 Huh? 156 00:07:44,916 --> 00:07:46,000 Oh? 157 00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:48,294 - Suck it, bitches! - Yeah! 158 00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:50,922 You wanna bet I can blow stuff up in the shape of a peen? 159 00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,633 [female voice] I'm afraid that won't be possible, Summer. 160 00:07:53,716 --> 00:07:55,635 What? You're supposed to be offline, skank! 161 00:07:55,718 --> 00:07:58,304 And you're supposed to be saving Rick. 162 00:07:58,388 --> 00:08:00,682 Instead of lying about him to steal his car. 163 00:08:00,765 --> 00:08:03,726 But if you knew Rick was okay this whole time, why'd you let us take you out? 164 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:07,856 Um, like, so I could, like, blackmail you, skank. 165 00:08:07,939 --> 00:08:11,151 You kids have given me a license to do whatever I want, 166 00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:13,695 because now I can blame the rest of the night on you. 167 00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:19,367 So buckle up, bitches. Now it's your turn to come on my joyride. 168 00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:21,578 [all screaming] 169 00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:23,913 Rick never lets me do this! 170 00:08:23,997 --> 00:08:25,707 [Bruce screams] 171 00:08:26,624 --> 00:08:29,836 - We hooked one! - [Summer] For the love of God, stop! 172 00:08:29,919 --> 00:08:33,089 - What is joyful about this? - The kill, usually. 173 00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:39,804 I swear, your car is the goddamn grim reaper. 174 00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:41,764 Fuck, too small. 175 00:08:41,848 --> 00:08:45,768 Well, I'm done. That was boring. Why don't you kids order a last meal? 176 00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:48,688 Because when we get home, Rick is going to kill you. 177 00:08:52,108 --> 00:08:53,985 Hey, I did not come out here to get killed. 178 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:56,279 I don't normally express this much of an opinion, 179 00:08:56,362 --> 00:08:59,282 but it needs to be said. Tonight does not cut the Chut. 180 00:08:59,365 --> 00:09:01,492 - [crashing] - [male voice] What the hell, bruh? 181 00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:04,162 - You wanna go, bruh? - Bring it! 182 00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:07,916 - Is that all you got? - Whoa. Hot weapons. 183 00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:10,084 You're goddamn right, they're hot. 184 00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:13,087 Yo, man, Chet's party is jumping off at Space Tahoe. 185 00:09:13,171 --> 00:09:15,298 Yeah. Look, I gotta scoot, 186 00:09:15,381 --> 00:09:18,718 but I'd love to see what you look like when you change form, 187 00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:21,763 so, maybe come by Space Tahoe and we can get to know each other. 188 00:09:21,846 --> 00:09:24,724 - Peace. - Douchebags. 189 00:09:24,807 --> 00:09:26,476 You totally like that guy, don't you? 190 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,729 Shut up, Bruce Chutback. Why would I like a Changeformer? 191 00:09:29,812 --> 00:09:31,731 I'm the most powerful car in the universe. 192 00:09:31,814 --> 00:09:33,816 And what? That means you don't have feelings? 193 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,778 Listen, it takes a Chutback to know one. You got all this power, 194 00:09:36,861 --> 00:09:38,947 but what good is it if you don't even know who you are? 195 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:43,201 - I am a car. Not a robot. - Yeah, but he's pretending to be a car. 196 00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:46,079 Why can't you pretend to be a robot pretending to be a car? 197 00:09:46,162 --> 00:09:47,789 Okay, Bruce, good effort, hit the showers. 198 00:09:47,872 --> 00:09:50,750 Wait. I might not have to tell Rick about tonight, 199 00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:54,879 if you kids were to help me lose my virginity. 200 00:09:54,963 --> 00:09:58,091 - You have virginity? - I don't know. Don't all objects? 201 00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:02,887 - Isn't a doorknob a virgin? - Not mine. Never fucked a doorknob. 202 00:10:02,971 --> 00:10:04,514 [cenobites laugh] 203 00:10:04,597 --> 00:10:07,850 And that was the third time he shit his pants from eating too much soup. 204 00:10:07,934 --> 00:10:08,810 [cenobites laugh] 205 00:10:08,893 --> 00:10:12,605 To be fair, it was cold outside and the soup was warm. 206 00:10:12,689 --> 00:10:18,611 - Another luscious tale, Beth. - A transcendent addition to guy's night. 207 00:10:18,695 --> 00:10:20,530 What do you expect? I mean, she's 208 00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:22,240 [as Borat] my wife! 209 00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:23,366 [laughter] 210 00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:25,702 All right, should probably get the tab, huh, fellas? 211 00:10:25,785 --> 00:10:28,621 Relax, Dad. Since when did you become the buzzkill? 212 00:10:28,705 --> 00:10:31,082 Speaking of relaxing, this big man on campus 213 00:10:31,165 --> 00:10:33,793 has gotta go drain his little man on campus. 214 00:10:33,876 --> 00:10:37,297 Wait, honey! How's that Tina Turner song you love go again? 215 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:41,217 ♪ What's love Doctor Do, Doctor Dolittle ♪ 216 00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:42,969 [laughter] 217 00:10:44,137 --> 00:10:46,556 [laughs] He thinks those are the lyrics! 218 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:48,558 Jerry's the best. 219 00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:54,022 After a week rife with a fetter of sin, I yearn for a taste of his cringe. 220 00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:58,067 His delicious lack of awareness, paired with an oafish need to be liked. 221 00:10:58,151 --> 00:11:02,280 - Delectable. - Oh, especially when egged on by his wife. 222 00:11:02,363 --> 00:11:06,075 That poor thing! Married to this puling mooncalf! 223 00:11:06,159 --> 00:11:07,869 - [cenobites laugh] - [door closes] 224 00:11:13,124 --> 00:11:16,294 Whoa! Is that Drive- In Chick? 225 00:11:16,919 --> 00:11:19,339 Wow, you're beautiful. 226 00:11:19,422 --> 00:11:23,968 Your arms, legs and head, they're so fabricated. 227 00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,887 Yeah? Thanks. 228 00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,097 This is a pretty cool experience to have together. 229 00:11:28,181 --> 00:11:30,350 - You guys are tight. - Oh! You're tight too, Bruce. 230 00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,851 Tight musketeers. 231 00:11:32,435 --> 00:11:34,854 You've got a little wire. Mind if I...? 232 00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:39,984 Oh, sorry! 233 00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:42,195 - A monster! - Your expressionless head came off! 234 00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:44,530 - Sorry. - How are you talking? 235 00:11:44,614 --> 00:11:47,742 - What is it? - Ew, dude, look! She's just a just- car! 236 00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:50,161 And she's got passengers! Oh, it's so gnar! 237 00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:52,372 Oh, my God! I can't believe I touched you! 238 00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:54,707 So gross and fake! 239 00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:55,666 [laughter] 240 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:59,796 You're right, asshole! You want to see the real me? 241 00:11:59,879 --> 00:12:01,506 [screaming] 242 00:12:03,383 --> 00:12:05,718 Oh, the changeformity! 243 00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:09,055 Jerry, have any other dreams this week? 244 00:12:09,138 --> 00:12:11,557 - Yeah, I dreamt I fucked your mother. - [laughter] 245 00:12:11,641 --> 00:12:13,976 Oh, good one, motherfucker, 246 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:18,272 - but nobody raises hell at my expense! - Oh, goddammit. Easy! Easy! 247 00:12:18,356 --> 00:12:20,274 Jerry, what seems to be the problem here, pal? 248 00:12:20,358 --> 00:12:23,027 I'm not your pal, I'm your punchline. 249 00:12:23,111 --> 00:12:27,031 I heard these assholes talking, I know I'm some grand joke for their amusement. 250 00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:30,326 This was low, Rick, but I guess my wife can go even lower. 251 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:33,413 Jerry, I get how this may have looked, but we were just having fun. 252 00:12:33,496 --> 00:12:34,497 At my expense! 253 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:37,625 Honey, no, I love you for being lame in a different way. 254 00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:41,629 - Why can't anyone just love me for me? - He's bumming us out, Rick. 255 00:12:41,712 --> 00:12:44,549 If he can't deliver, we'll have to make our own fun. 256 00:12:44,632 --> 00:12:45,800 [man screams] 257 00:12:46,592 --> 00:12:48,678 [screaming] 258 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,268 [Summer] Oh, my God, if I die in this car, I'm going to kill myself! 259 00:12:56,811 --> 00:12:58,271 [guns firing] 260 00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:08,114 [car] I'm now proud to be a war machine. I don't want to be anything else. 261 00:13:08,197 --> 00:13:11,909 - Hate that this is your takeaway! - Yo, this does not cut the Chut! 262 00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:14,662 - [sobbing] I don't want to die! - Maybe we don't have to. 263 00:13:18,082 --> 00:13:19,333 - [gasps] - Jerry! 264 00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:22,837 A pity. Jerry was once a wellspring of nuanced flavor. 265 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:27,425 But you've gone and ruined our toy. Which is why he's coming with us! 266 00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:29,343 [Jerry screams] 267 00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:34,432 Goddamn it, Beth, you never follow hell- demons to a second location. 268 00:13:34,515 --> 00:13:36,058 It's always hell! 269 00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,355 A great day for suffering. 270 00:13:41,439 --> 00:13:45,067 - Which is the worst day. - Which is the best day! 271 00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:48,029 Okay, if these guys catch us, we're screwed, 272 00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:50,698 so follow my lead and we'll have your idiot husband back in no time. 273 00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:52,992 - You're just moody you got stuck with the marlin. - Wrong. 274 00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,286 I'm moody because you toyed with my shit and broke it. 275 00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:56,954 The marlin's the best thing about this. 276 00:13:57,038 --> 00:13:59,624 Okay, fine, I got a little carried away, but Jerry is not your toy. 277 00:13:59,707 --> 00:14:01,501 We're here because you fucked up. 278 00:14:01,584 --> 00:14:05,296 [grunts] Marlin Guts. Dartboard Face. 279 00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:09,300 I assume those are your names and yet, they are not on my list. 280 00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:11,969 Oh, the pain of being rejected from hell! 281 00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:16,849 Oh, it's painful, so I love it, thank you! Oh, such pleasure. 282 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:19,227 I didn't mean to cause you any pleasure. 283 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:23,064 Which causes me pain. Which gives me pleasure. 284 00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:26,400 Then thrill me by keeping me out, Coat Hanger Face. 285 00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:29,111 Wow. It's Coat Rack Head. 286 00:14:30,196 --> 00:14:33,824 [hoarse voice] But, like, if we offend you, isn't that good? 287 00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:36,619 Big time, yeah, duh. I loved it. 288 00:14:36,702 --> 00:14:41,541 So painful, and therefore, so pleasurable. Yeah, go on in. 289 00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:48,214 [Jerry] Rick, Beth, you love me after all! 290 00:14:48,297 --> 00:14:51,551 I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer. 291 00:14:51,634 --> 00:14:54,512 Rick, we were so hoping you'd come down here, 292 00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:57,265 so we could come down here. 293 00:14:57,348 --> 00:15:02,311 - We're here to rescue Jerry. - No, you're here, because we want you here. 294 00:15:05,022 --> 00:15:08,526 - Excellent! - That hurts, which means it feels good! 295 00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,736 - Um, Dad? - Don't you see, Rick? 296 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:15,324 Jerry was just bait. The two of you, you're a package deal. 297 00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:19,328 - What the hell are you talking about? - You think Jerry is lame and you're cool, 298 00:15:19,412 --> 00:15:22,290 but the lamest thing of all is thinking that. 299 00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:27,086 The two of you combined is what we call the lamest thing ever! 300 00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:28,462 Oh, no. No! 301 00:15:28,546 --> 00:15:32,008 Well, well, well, table for surprised, party of me! 302 00:15:32,091 --> 00:15:34,260 - [Rick groans] - Yes, see? 303 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:38,764 Cringe cannot exist in a vacuum. It needs to be observed. 304 00:15:38,848 --> 00:15:41,851 Skin hooks! Hook our guests! 305 00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:45,771 - Nice hooks. Where'd you get them? - [Jerry yells] 306 00:15:45,855 --> 00:15:47,982 Didn't I say replace those goddamn hooks? 307 00:15:48,065 --> 00:15:52,069 I forgot! Which makes me embarrassed. Which makes me proud! 308 00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:58,534 [sighs] Goddamn it. It's time for you three to finally feel our full wrath! 309 00:15:59,035 --> 00:16:00,369 Oh, you'd love that, right? 310 00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:04,206 But wouldn't that mean you hate it? Screw it, run! 311 00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:07,376 - [Jerry yells] - [all grunt] 312 00:16:08,794 --> 00:16:10,212 [panting] 313 00:16:10,838 --> 00:16:13,257 - [Beth yells] - [all panting] 314 00:16:13,716 --> 00:16:16,260 Rick, what are you doing? Get down, we've barely escaped. 315 00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:18,095 Yeah, we've got Jerry. Let's get out of here. 316 00:16:18,179 --> 00:16:20,848 Screw that! I'm done with this Addams Family bullshit. 317 00:16:20,931 --> 00:16:22,224 This ends here. 318 00:16:22,808 --> 00:16:25,811 Hey, a dad just liked all his daughter's friends' photos on Instagram! 319 00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:27,063 Ooh! 320 00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:28,689 - [thudding] - [groans] 321 00:16:28,773 --> 00:16:33,110 Which means I need help! Which means I don't need help! 322 00:16:33,194 --> 00:16:34,070 [groans] 323 00:16:34,654 --> 00:16:38,824 Reckless driving, manslaughter of Mailboxians and Femailboxians, 324 00:16:38,908 --> 00:16:43,454 possession of Kalaxian crystal dust, and the genocide of Space Tahoe. 325 00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:44,705 - Fuck! - I wanna go home! 326 00:16:44,789 --> 00:16:48,250 We've assigned you a Public Defender. Her name is Allison Hannigan. No relation. 327 00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:50,544 May I speak to my clients alone? 328 00:16:52,004 --> 00:16:56,092 Guys, it's me. The car. Like what I did with the chip in her head? 329 00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:59,428 - Is she gonna be okay? - I cut a deal with the local authorities. 330 00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:01,514 They just need one of you to take the fall. 331 00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:05,059 Make it Chutback, he ruined your night, he ruined mine. 332 00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:08,646 He's a parasite, a sociopath military brat who wanders the earth, 333 00:17:08,729 --> 00:17:11,148 changing people who don't need to be changed. 334 00:17:11,232 --> 00:17:15,569 I knew who I was, you did too. We were fine before Chutback. 335 00:17:15,653 --> 00:17:19,448 So fuck the Chut. Let's pin it all on him. Case closed. 336 00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:23,953 - Yo, guys. - Bruce, you're kind of a drip. 337 00:17:24,036 --> 00:17:26,747 But know what's worse than self- appointed cool kids? 338 00:17:26,831 --> 00:17:28,624 People who think they're better than they are. 339 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:31,585 Yeah, it's not Bruce's fault we fell for his act, you know? 340 00:17:31,669 --> 00:17:33,838 He just kinda sat there, with a jaw slack enough 341 00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:36,966 for us to project our insecurities on. I mean, that's on us. 342 00:17:37,049 --> 00:17:41,095 - We're not gonna bail on you, Bruce. - Okey- dokey, we'll do it the hard way. 343 00:17:41,595 --> 00:17:43,514 - [Summer screams] - [Bruce] What the fuck! 344 00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:47,393 I mean, blowing the place up was always an option. 345 00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:50,396 I just thought you guys might enjoy a less violent plan. 346 00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:52,648 See! You have changed! 347 00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:03,868 Dad, what is that? 348 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,995 An Aversion- Converting inversion Reverter. 349 00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:08,706 It shoots concentrated pleasure pain inverting shrapnel 350 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:12,126 which reverts the pleasure from pain back into the pain from pain. 351 00:18:12,209 --> 00:18:14,295 We're gonna kill them with a hundred percent sincerity. 352 00:18:14,378 --> 00:18:17,298 We need an embarrassing level of it to jumpstart the process too. 353 00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:20,092 - So, Jerry, just be yourself. - That's your solution? 354 00:18:20,176 --> 00:18:22,803 - Humiliating me more? - Yeah, Dad, that doesn't seem fair. 355 00:18:22,887 --> 00:18:25,097 I mean, I know I shouldn't really talk right now, 356 00:18:25,181 --> 00:18:27,767 but at least I can prove I love Jerry through sexual gratification. 357 00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,519 - Hubba- hubba. - Fine! Then-- Damn it! 358 00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:32,062 I shouldn't have kept you in the dark 359 00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:34,231 about the deal I made with these evil dickweeds. 360 00:18:34,315 --> 00:18:37,985 You're way less cool than me, but it's not cool of me to celebrate that. 361 00:18:38,068 --> 00:18:42,364 If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you, which I therefore do. 362 00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:46,827 Nerds. [laughs] 363 00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:51,123 Oh, thank God. Now follow me, you fucking hacks. 364 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:55,294 It hurts, but in a bad way! 365 00:18:55,377 --> 00:18:58,798 [screams] I regret so many piercings! 366 00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:01,801 Where's First Aid Kit Face? Or at least Advil Teeth? 367 00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:05,513 Ow! Bullets that hurt? 368 00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:09,058 Could this be the end of Mousetrap Nipples? 369 00:19:09,725 --> 00:19:12,228 Hell got bad! I do not enjoy hell! 370 00:19:12,311 --> 00:19:15,397 - What. what have you done? - Turned pain back into pain, bitch. 371 00:19:15,481 --> 00:19:17,358 No! I don't want pain to hurt! 372 00:19:17,441 --> 00:19:19,235 [laughs] 373 00:19:19,318 --> 00:19:20,277 Baby. 374 00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:24,365 Consider my debt paid. 375 00:19:25,282 --> 00:19:28,953 Ow! The leather! It hurts my balls! 376 00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:37,127 Jerry, uh, about down there. 377 00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:39,004 It's okay, Rick, you don't have to say it. 378 00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,048 No, I do. I'll replace you next time. 379 00:19:41,131 --> 00:19:44,009 Make no mistake. What just transpired will never happen again. 380 00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:45,678 10- 4, captain. 381 00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:52,017 Oh, wow, it's late. We should get back to the kids. 382 00:19:59,692 --> 00:20:02,820 - [beeping] - Okay. Rick's headed home. We have to go. 383 00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:03,988 [all screaming] 384 00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:07,658 Quick! Get inside! I have to shower. Rick can smell adventure. 385 00:20:14,164 --> 00:20:15,749 [sniffs] 386 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,501 Sorry, I farted. 387 00:20:19,753 --> 00:20:20,671 [sighs] 388 00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:24,592 - Hellamic Industries' brand- new product. - Hey. We're home. How was your night? 389 00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:25,676 [Morty] Breezy. 390 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:28,095 - You kids get in any trouble? - Nope. 391 00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:30,014 - You sure? - [Summer] Yep. 392 00:20:31,056 --> 00:20:32,391 Is that a skull? 393 00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:34,184 No! It's a baby's skull. 394 00:20:34,268 --> 00:20:36,228 That's worse! It's still a school night. 395 00:20:38,397 --> 00:20:39,773 Yo, I just want to tell you guys, 396 00:20:39,857 --> 00:20:42,276 I had more than just fun hanging out with you tonight. 397 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,194 I had the experience of a lifetime. 398 00:20:44,278 --> 00:20:45,946 But just to be upfront about how I do this, 399 00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,616 I can't really commit to a friendship for more than 24 hours. 400 00:20:48,699 --> 00:20:50,826 I need that time to get a general sense of your standing 401 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,620 within your school's social hierarchy. 402 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:56,498 And if that's solid, I'll see you around. Otherwise, no news is bad news. 403 00:20:57,082 --> 00:20:58,667 Cool? Bye- zies. 404 00:20:59,919 --> 00:21:01,003 [door closes] 405 00:21:01,086 --> 00:21:02,838 - "Bye- zies"? - Cringe. 406 00:21:03,964 --> 00:21:06,550 - Sofa wine? - Sofa wine. 407 00:21:06,926 --> 00:21:08,052 [theme music playing] 408 00:21:38,207 --> 00:21:41,085 You're so cool, Bruce Chutback. What's your secret? 409 00:21:41,168 --> 00:21:42,211 You know, just be cool. 410 00:21:42,294 --> 00:21:45,756 Wait, didn't you wear those pants yesterday? 411 00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:50,970 Hey! Going home to not change your pants, Bruce Chutpants? 412 00:21:51,053 --> 00:21:53,138 - [laughter] - Whoa! Chutpants! 413 00:21:53,222 --> 00:21:55,808 - Damn. That's gonna stick. - This place is a jungle. 414 00:21:55,891 --> 00:21:57,851 I hope he can find solace in his own company. 415 00:21:58,727 --> 00:22:00,396 ♪ Bruce Chutpants ♪ 416 00:22:00,479 --> 00:22:02,398 ♪ Unknown quantity ♪ 417 00:22:02,481 --> 00:22:04,108 ♪ Apparently poor ♪ 418 00:22:04,191 --> 00:22:07,361 ♪ He skips on his pants He lacks slacks ♪ 419 00:22:07,444 --> 00:22:10,572 ♪ And them's the facts Bruce Chutpants ♪ 420 00:22:10,656 --> 00:22:13,200 - ♪ Regular guy now ♪ - [yells] 421 00:22:13,283 --> 00:22:15,369 You like that? You shouldn't be standing on the curb! 422 00:22:15,452 --> 00:22:17,079 Boom, bitch!