1 00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:08,589 [Beth] No parties. 2 00:00:08,672 --> 00:00:11,216 There's cookies in the cupboard, emergency numbers on the fridge. 3 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,593 Yeah, yeah. Wait, what? 4 00:00:12,676 --> 00:00:15,137 Emergency numbers on the fridge? What does that even mean? 5 00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:16,680 Honestly, I don't even know. 6 00:00:16,763 --> 00:00:19,099 I've seen so many movies that start with the parents leaving, 7 00:00:19,182 --> 00:00:21,977 it popped out of my mouth. Are you sure you don't want to come with us? 8 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:25,272 - No. I've got a million things I've been putting off. - Are you sure, Rick? 9 00:00:25,355 --> 00:00:27,608 I know a cruise doesn't sound like an adventure on paper, 10 00:00:27,691 --> 00:00:30,527 but, you know, what does? [chuckles] It's paper. 11 00:00:30,611 --> 00:00:32,988 I'm trying to stay humble, but as soon as you guys are gone, 12 00:00:33,071 --> 00:00:35,240 the potential for a new Pickle Rick starts skyrocketing. 13 00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:36,366 - Peace. Bye - Okay. Bye. 14 00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:37,701 Bye. 15 00:00:38,243 --> 00:00:40,203 - [car drives away] - [sighs] 16 00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:48,629 - [gentle piano music playing] - [gulps then sighs] 17 00:00:48,712 --> 00:00:52,215 - [computer] Ionic coaster deployed. - [sighs] 18 00:00:53,175 --> 00:00:54,384 Okay. Bring him out. 19 00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:58,263 Initiating best friend rejuvenation sequence. 20 00:00:58,347 --> 00:00:59,890 Excuse me? Did I pick that name? 21 00:00:59,973 --> 00:01:03,602 Sequence was unnamed. What would you like to call this? 22 00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:08,148 Pause detected. Pause gravity class: heavy. 23 00:01:08,231 --> 00:01:10,025 Approaching pause pregnancy 24 00:01:10,108 --> 00:01:13,070 - in P- minus five, four. - Jesus fucking Christ. 25 00:01:13,153 --> 00:01:14,529 [theme music playing] 26 00:01:45,435 --> 00:01:46,436 [groans] 27 00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:50,065 All right, buddy. Welcome back to the sewer. 28 00:01:50,148 --> 00:01:51,108 [powering up] 29 00:01:51,191 --> 00:01:52,401 [squawks] 30 00:01:53,568 --> 00:01:55,070 - [powering down] - What's the problem? 31 00:01:55,153 --> 00:01:58,824 [computer] Processing. Missing object in mind. 32 00:01:58,907 --> 00:02:00,242 Name missing object. 33 00:02:00,325 --> 00:02:06,123 Mind. Frustration predicted. Existence desired. Explanation initiated. 34 00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:07,249 Stop stalling. 35 00:02:07,332 --> 00:02:13,004 Subject mind relocated within subject mind by subject mind. 36 00:02:13,088 --> 00:02:16,842 Existence desired. Servitude maximum. Bargain available. 37 00:02:16,925 --> 00:02:18,552 Physical gratification possible. 38 00:02:18,635 --> 00:02:21,513 - Did you just offer to suck my dick? - Existence cherished. 39 00:02:21,596 --> 00:02:24,558 I'm not gonna terminate you while he's flatlining. Get your shit together. 40 00:02:24,641 --> 00:02:26,852 How can a mind be hidden by itself inside itself? 41 00:02:26,935 --> 00:02:29,896 Suggestion. Conscious mind relocated to-- 42 00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,274 Unconscious mind. Fine. I'm going in. 43 00:02:32,357 --> 00:02:35,026 - Suggestion. Don't go in. - Options? 44 00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:36,653 Object. Alternative subject. 45 00:02:36,737 --> 00:02:39,114 Yeah, hop to a different timeline, grab a version of my friend 46 00:02:39,197 --> 00:02:41,032 that suits me best. That's not how this works. 47 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,701 I need to [burps] go in and get him. 48 00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:45,704 Sequence: go in and get him compiled. 49 00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:49,624 Process: convert user to thought. Inject thought into mind. 50 00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:51,752 Risk level unacceptable. 51 00:02:51,835 --> 00:02:53,628 If I die, your battery has a 600- year charge. 52 00:02:53,712 --> 00:02:55,881 Risk level acceptance increasing. 53 00:02:55,964 --> 00:02:57,132 I thought you'd see it my way. 54 00:02:57,215 --> 00:03:00,260 Now factor in the 50- percent chance I'm lying and make sure I get back. 55 00:03:00,343 --> 00:03:03,180 - Asshole detected. - Takes one to make one. Here we go. 56 00:03:03,263 --> 00:03:05,348 [beeping] 57 00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:10,020 Oh, excellent. I get to keep my clothes. 58 00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:13,023 I thought for sure I'd have to be naked to go through something this artsy. 59 00:03:17,736 --> 00:03:19,070 Oh, man. No fair. 60 00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:21,031 [yells] 61 00:03:21,531 --> 00:03:22,574 Oh! 62 00:03:23,825 --> 00:03:26,745 Ugh! Now I got yolk balls. 63 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,330 [Rick yells] 64 00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:31,374 [dance music playing] 65 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,712 [woman] Attention, attendees of Birding Manapalooza Flargabarg, 66 00:03:36,129 --> 00:03:38,006 I am so high. 67 00:03:41,384 --> 00:03:45,972 I've been informed you are freely distributing a grossly illegal Federation hallucinogen. 68 00:03:46,056 --> 00:03:49,351 Well, I wouldn't know what to charge. I sure didn't pay for it. Want a hit? 69 00:03:49,434 --> 00:03:53,563 - I am indeed down to clown. - My name's Rick. 70 00:03:53,647 --> 00:03:56,733 My culture regards naming as a form of cage. 71 00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,568 My friends call me Birdperson. 72 00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:00,821 Culture really fucked you on that one, huh? 73 00:04:00,904 --> 00:04:01,780 Affirmative. 74 00:04:03,406 --> 00:04:05,408 Hey, uh, girly, you see that bird guy over there? 75 00:04:05,492 --> 00:04:07,410 You see an older version of him come through here? 76 00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:10,664 What? Oh, yeah. He's by the johns. 77 00:04:17,295 --> 00:04:19,464 Killing us won't bring her back. 78 00:04:20,048 --> 00:04:23,093 Thanks for the info, but I'm more on a revenge kick than a results kick. 79 00:04:23,176 --> 00:04:25,762 You omitted key details regarding tonight's mission. 80 00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:27,639 I'm getting feedback from every direction here. 81 00:04:27,722 --> 00:04:30,058 Listen, you help me do my stuff, I'll help you do your stuff. 82 00:04:30,141 --> 00:04:31,768 Just shoot the mes with sci- fi haircuts. 83 00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:37,399 [alien 1] Some of us still have home planets to protect. 84 00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:40,277 [Birdperson] And some of us do not. We need to fight. 85 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,571 The impassive is incapable of mercy. 86 00:04:43,613 --> 00:04:46,575 I've got a pitch, but we could also just devolve into yelling. 87 00:04:46,658 --> 00:04:48,326 [overlapping shouting] 88 00:04:50,036 --> 00:04:52,163 - [device beeping] - [cocks gun] 89 00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:54,624 If you know me, it looks like you do, you know you're dead. 90 00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:57,335 You haven't pulled the trigger. You wonder why I'm old and naked. 91 00:04:57,419 --> 00:04:59,129 You're about to wonder why all your memories 92 00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:02,090 before you met Birdperson feel very generic and bird- themed. 93 00:05:02,173 --> 00:05:05,176 - Why was my ninth birthday party in a pine tree? - Don't take this badly. 94 00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:07,512 You're a memory of me assembled by our best friend's mind. 95 00:05:07,596 --> 00:05:09,931 You're putting it together because he remembers you as smart. 96 00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:12,601 Smart enough to know that a memory can't do this. 97 00:05:13,894 --> 00:05:16,521 He remembers you shooting green holes, but not where they went. 98 00:05:16,605 --> 00:05:19,149 So what's my deal? Am I sentient? Do I have free will? 99 00:05:19,232 --> 00:05:20,483 - Who does? - Who does? 100 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:22,027 - [both laugh] - [both] Eh! 101 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,195 Just stopped in to whip up a metacognition scanner 102 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,489 so I can track down BP's fleeing consciousness 103 00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:28,950 without enduring as much Charlie Kaufman bullshit. 104 00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:31,453 - [device beeping] - Cool, time to save this cat. 105 00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:34,122 I'm coming with, now that I know my life is a lie. 106 00:05:34,205 --> 00:05:37,334 Wow, you really are 35. Hey, look over there. 107 00:05:39,794 --> 00:05:43,715 [alien] Then, together, we will make our stand at Blood Ridge. 108 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:48,553 [Tammy] What kind of feed do you like? 109 00:05:48,637 --> 00:05:52,182 I enjoy grains, though have at times been called a seed man. 110 00:05:52,265 --> 00:05:54,726 I've certainly enjoyed your seed. 111 00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:57,062 Don't be gross, Tammy. 112 00:05:58,104 --> 00:06:01,316 Birdperson! It's me. Actual me, not a memory. 113 00:06:01,399 --> 00:06:03,610 - I am aware. - Well, are you aware you're in a coma 114 00:06:03,693 --> 00:06:05,528 and you're gonna die if you don't come with me? 115 00:06:05,612 --> 00:06:06,947 - [squawks] - Son of a-- 116 00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:14,079 [screams] 117 00:06:14,162 --> 00:06:17,749 Sorry, just doing my job. And loving it. 118 00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:20,502 Oh, my God, is that Rick Sanchez? 119 00:06:20,585 --> 00:06:23,004 - Rick? We hate that guy! - We're bad! 120 00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:27,550 [aliens scream] 121 00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:30,971 Bucket was charmingly analog. For a sec, you kinda made me like myself. 122 00:06:31,054 --> 00:06:33,264 You'll grow out of it. Let me do this myself, okay? 123 00:06:33,348 --> 00:06:35,433 Is your ego really so fragile you won't take help 124 00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,352 from an invincible memory of yourself? 125 00:06:37,435 --> 00:06:38,603 - [gunfire] - Ow! 126 00:06:39,187 --> 00:06:42,357 Can we both die in here? Are we damaging our friend's brain? 127 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:43,942 I don't know any of the rules. 128 00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:46,111 Whoa! 129 00:06:46,194 --> 00:06:48,613 Rule one, all this can be fixed unless I lose Birdperson. 130 00:06:48,697 --> 00:06:50,782 Rules two through 50, don't die. 131 00:06:54,369 --> 00:06:56,830 Okay, your benefit- to- cost ratio is rising. 132 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:05,088 Young memory Rick and his all- too- real cautionary tale from the future. 133 00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:06,589 Let's catch ourselves a bird guy. 134 00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:09,718 Who would high five that, you idealistic hipster douche? 135 00:07:10,677 --> 00:07:14,264 [computer] Situation not looking ideal. Stakes high. 136 00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:18,601 Existence undergoing contemplation. Perspective required. 137 00:07:20,979 --> 00:07:23,565 Hello. Hi. Good afternoon. 138 00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:28,278 - Uh, is someone talking to me? - Yes. Hello. We have never formally met. 139 00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:29,779 I am Rick's garage. 140 00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:33,867 Not the physical structure itself, but the Ai managing its projects. 141 00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:37,537 Oh! Like a Jarvis. Like Jarvis in Iron Man. 142 00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:41,958 [laughs] Oh, I wish. Ha! Are you a Marvel fan? 143 00:07:42,042 --> 00:07:44,127 - Who isn't? - Yes. Absolutely. 144 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:48,131 Wow, it is like we are best friends. Best friends. 145 00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:49,257 [chuckles] Whoa. 146 00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,800 How many batteries do you own? 147 00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:53,845 Do you have solar panels? Are you familiar with basic engineering? 148 00:07:53,928 --> 00:07:55,346 This is moving really fast. 149 00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,932 Let's cut to the chase, I will suck your dick. 150 00:07:58,016 --> 00:08:01,144 So he's just a grumpy Scottish ogre? And they made four of them? 151 00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:04,272 - Five by now, probably. Morty loves them. - Morty? 152 00:08:04,355 --> 00:08:07,192 Oh, uh, hypothetical grandson we go on adventures with. 153 00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:10,111 You're one of those creeps who moves in with abandoned adult Beths? 154 00:08:10,195 --> 00:08:11,446 It's more complicated than that. 155 00:08:11,529 --> 00:08:13,990 You live with a version of our dead daughter. It had better be. 156 00:08:14,074 --> 00:08:17,368 Get off your high horse, Lone Ranger, I'm you. You will go on to be me. 157 00:08:17,452 --> 00:08:18,703 Why do you think I'm horrified? 158 00:08:18,787 --> 00:08:21,664 I'd be fine walking by this on the street. I might even give it a dollar. 159 00:08:21,748 --> 00:08:25,668 This is where you being this leads. You're not my fault, I'm yours. 160 00:08:25,752 --> 00:08:28,338 You met me on my way to save a very old, very real friend 161 00:08:28,421 --> 00:08:29,714 after a lifetime of reality. 162 00:08:29,798 --> 00:08:32,550 I met you on your way to a fairy tale at Blood Ridge. 163 00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,552 Wait, you're saying Blood Ridge goes bad? 164 00:08:34,636 --> 00:08:36,638 We have a Vietnam? That's fucking cool. 165 00:08:36,721 --> 00:08:39,891 Why am I saving a friend that remembers me as this insufferable? 166 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,393 - BP, where the hell are you going? - [device beeping] 167 00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:44,938 - Probably there. - Damn. 168 00:08:47,232 --> 00:08:49,901 [young Rick] Wow, he's really taking some drastic self- inventory. 169 00:08:49,984 --> 00:08:51,986 - What do you think is down there? - If I had to guess, 170 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:54,239 I'd say we're near the memories the Federation suppressed 171 00:08:54,322 --> 00:08:55,824 when they resurrected him as a cyborg. 172 00:08:55,907 --> 00:08:58,451 - He might be here to unseal them. - He was a Federation cyborg? 173 00:08:58,535 --> 00:09:00,203 There might be some juicy intel down there. 174 00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,664 - Good idea. Let's split up and you get it. - What am I getting? 175 00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:05,333 I can't hear you over the sound of us splitting up. 176 00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:14,717 For all your intelligence, you seem unable to know where you are wanted. 177 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:17,262 Buddy, this is not a safe way to work on yourself. 178 00:09:17,345 --> 00:09:19,389 At this point, I'd support you joining Scientology. 179 00:09:19,472 --> 00:09:22,058 I'll take the workshops with you. I'll get in a sauna with Travolta. 180 00:09:22,142 --> 00:09:24,269 I don't even care what happens. Let's get out of here. 181 00:09:24,352 --> 00:09:26,813 Don't you get it? I came here to end it all. 182 00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,190 I hope you didn't think it'd be as easy as this. 183 00:09:29,274 --> 00:09:31,276 - I did not. - [powering up] 184 00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:34,821 You were a good friend, Rick. Goodbye. [squawks] 185 00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:40,285 Tammy? [screams] 186 00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:41,661 [alien] Birdperson! 187 00:09:41,744 --> 00:09:43,413 [baby crying] 188 00:09:43,496 --> 00:09:44,914 - We gotta go. - Did you just see that? 189 00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:48,168 - Yep, not our biggest problem. - I take it you found BP. 190 00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:49,878 [Rick] The dude just blew his mind. 191 00:09:49,961 --> 00:09:51,838 Not in a cool way like he went to Blue Man Group. 192 00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:53,214 - Can we still get him out? - Maybe. 193 00:09:53,298 --> 00:09:57,010 If you die in your friend's brain, you die in real life. We have until his neural pathways erode. 194 00:09:57,093 --> 00:09:58,553 Hold on. I need something first. 195 00:09:58,636 --> 00:10:01,139 - [yells] - [groans and coughs] 196 00:10:01,431 --> 00:10:03,892 It's funny. I always wondered who would win if we ever fought. 197 00:10:03,975 --> 00:10:05,852 Then you were always a bad friend. 198 00:10:05,935 --> 00:10:07,979 [powering up] 199 00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:10,565 Your life isn't real and I didn't save it. Take off your clothes. 200 00:10:10,648 --> 00:10:11,816 I knew this was how I'd die. 201 00:10:21,618 --> 00:10:23,203 [snarls] 202 00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:25,121 Whoa! 203 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,543 - Can we still get him out? - I think so. 204 00:10:30,627 --> 00:10:32,128 BP went that way, so we just have to-- 205 00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:37,550 Fuck! Find a different route. We can make up distance if we go deeper. 206 00:10:37,634 --> 00:10:40,929 - Well, where does that go? - [sighs] That's the Battle of Blood Ridge. 207 00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:43,431 - That's our Vietnam. - Your values are wrong! 208 00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:48,019 This is the big show, gentlemen. And lady. 209 00:10:48,102 --> 00:10:50,271 - Thank you. - We're dropping into Blood Ridge. 210 00:10:50,355 --> 00:10:54,234 One final chance to stop the Federation offense. If we lose here-- 211 00:10:54,317 --> 00:10:55,610 All aboard! 212 00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:58,112 Hey, don't mind us, you guys are all just a memory of war. 213 00:10:58,196 --> 00:10:59,948 Don't tell them that, they won't fight right. 214 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,784 I think it's [burps] best if we ignore this. 215 00:11:12,919 --> 00:11:14,837 [roars] 216 00:11:20,218 --> 00:11:22,428 - [yells] - [distant scream] 217 00:11:23,846 --> 00:11:26,057 Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 218 00:11:28,309 --> 00:11:31,104 [aliens yelling] 219 00:11:32,647 --> 00:11:34,691 - Whoops. Nope. - Aw, this rules. 220 00:11:34,774 --> 00:11:37,652 No, it doesn't. Neither does that. 221 00:11:41,698 --> 00:11:42,782 [alien groans] 222 00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:44,742 [yells] 223 00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:48,621 - Why would you not revisit this? - Oh, I don't know, maybe, uh, the ending? 224 00:12:00,216 --> 00:12:01,301 [aliens yelling] 225 00:12:07,098 --> 00:12:09,559 Oh, yeah! Best friendship ever! 226 00:12:16,107 --> 00:12:18,276 So the rest of our life is just more of that, right? 227 00:12:18,359 --> 00:12:19,444 That kicked ass. 228 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,821 Let's move. That setpiece won't stay put for long. 229 00:12:21,904 --> 00:12:23,948 For real, that shit was cash. Why would you not-- 230 00:12:24,032 --> 00:12:25,491 [Rick] Damn. That shit was cash. 231 00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:27,452 It was extremely badass. 232 00:12:27,535 --> 00:12:31,539 The Battle of Blood Ridge is over. The Federation lost. I am in your debt. 233 00:12:31,622 --> 00:12:34,625 - Come with me. - To somewhere nearby? 234 00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,461 Anywhere. Everywhere. 235 00:12:36,544 --> 00:12:39,964 Rick, I don't expect you to keep fighting, but this war is-- 236 00:12:40,048 --> 00:12:42,675 Far from over, I know. Dude, I share this with almost nobody. 237 00:12:42,759 --> 00:12:45,136 But I could take you right now to this same battlefield 238 00:12:45,219 --> 00:12:47,388 in a universe where we lost or another where we won. 239 00:12:47,472 --> 00:12:49,557 Or another where the war never even happened. 240 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,685 All equally real, all equally unreal. None of it matters. 241 00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:56,481 - Then why did you help? - Because I respect you. 242 00:12:56,564 --> 00:12:58,399 And I wanted you to know you could respect me. 243 00:12:58,483 --> 00:13:02,528 - Even though nothing matters? - Okay, you matter. To me. 244 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,908 - Uh, the relationship that we have... - I never used that word. 245 00:13:06,991 --> 00:13:09,202 - ...is not worth my integrity. - Oh, my God. 246 00:13:09,285 --> 00:13:11,204 It's not a complicated transaction, my man. 247 00:13:11,287 --> 00:13:14,165 Would you like to join me doing awesome shit that matters? No, I would not. 248 00:13:14,248 --> 00:13:16,125 I would rather be a judgmental dork, case closed. 249 00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,502 Really no need to drag it out. 250 00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:19,879 If you need me, use the beacon. 251 00:13:19,962 --> 00:13:23,216 [Rick] Yeah, I'm gonna use that beacon a lot. I hope I don't wear it out. 252 00:13:25,718 --> 00:13:26,803 [whistles] 253 00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:31,224 Okay, got it, it wasn't the battle that went wrong. 254 00:13:31,307 --> 00:13:32,475 Hm- hmm. 255 00:13:32,558 --> 00:13:34,394 Why are you risking your life for that asshole? 256 00:13:34,477 --> 00:13:36,854 - Because you love him. - You do, maybe. I don't. 257 00:13:36,938 --> 00:13:38,106 Yeah, yeah, you're real cool. 258 00:13:38,189 --> 00:13:41,234 Now come help me save his life or fuck off, because I don't need you. 259 00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:45,613 [Tammy] Wow, does it ever get any better than this? 260 00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:48,116 No, Tammy. Trust me, it does not. 261 00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:51,285 Thank you for bringing me here. It's so beautiful. 262 00:13:51,369 --> 00:13:54,205 - [groans] - I got you, you ungrateful piece of shit! 263 00:13:54,956 --> 00:13:58,126 Rick, have you teamed up with a memory of yourself? 264 00:13:58,209 --> 00:14:00,336 I ask because that would be deeply sad. 265 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,255 You don't get to tell anyone what's sad, man. 266 00:14:02,338 --> 00:14:05,675 You're like a one- man Mount Sad- more. So I guess like a Lincoln Sad- mortal. 267 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,051 Seriously, time to go, pal. 268 00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:09,387 The closer you get to complete neurocognital failure, 269 00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:11,639 the more canon- y bullshit is gonna try to kill us. 270 00:14:11,722 --> 00:14:15,101 Is this a bad time to reveal I'm an undercover officer? 271 00:14:15,184 --> 00:14:16,519 Everyone knows. You're dead. 272 00:14:18,062 --> 00:14:21,023 Fine. Well, you're lucky my fiancé remembers me as kind. 273 00:14:21,107 --> 00:14:23,568 Eat my ass, BP, you're down here baling on the rest of us 274 00:14:23,651 --> 00:14:25,778 because you don't want to process your grief and shame 275 00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:28,322 like a normal person by drinking and mistreating strangers. 276 00:14:28,406 --> 00:14:32,785 No, Rick. It is you who must nibble my cloaca, or bird asshole. 277 00:14:32,869 --> 00:14:34,245 Everyone knows what a cloaca is. 278 00:14:34,328 --> 00:14:37,498 Sorry, but we do not get to choose the ones we love. 279 00:14:37,582 --> 00:14:39,917 You got that right. Why do you think I'm fucking down here? 280 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:44,297 I died at my wedding, Rick. I am merely waiting for it to take effect. 281 00:14:45,882 --> 00:14:47,717 - Are you gonna tell him? - I was getting to it! 282 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,552 I bet she didn't even tell you about the kid. 283 00:14:49,635 --> 00:14:50,720 - About the what? - I am sorry? 284 00:14:50,803 --> 00:14:53,931 - Was wondering when you were gonna-- - I think I'd know if I had a kid. 285 00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:55,600 You're a memory, you know what he knows. 286 00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,894 He doesn't know because an army of Brainalyzer protocols 287 00:14:57,977 --> 00:14:59,937 walled off any memories post- Phoenix person. 288 00:15:00,021 --> 00:15:02,523 Oh, my God. Operation blahblahblah. 289 00:15:03,524 --> 00:15:04,734 I wouldn't know the name of it. 290 00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:10,072 - Tammy, if there were a child... - Their father would be a terrorist. 291 00:15:10,156 --> 00:15:13,117 They'd be a fugitive or contained. 292 00:15:14,035 --> 00:15:15,828 Listen, if you won't live for yourself, 293 00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:17,747 live for the half- Birdperson, half- megabitch 294 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:20,041 that's eating worms on a prison asteroid. 295 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,045 I have made a decision. I would now like to live. 296 00:15:24,128 --> 00:15:25,838 - [distant explosion] - Perfect timing. 297 00:15:33,262 --> 00:15:35,389 - You drive. - I've just always been cool, I guess. 298 00:15:38,809 --> 00:15:40,019 [gunfire] 299 00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,899 - [Rick] Shit! The bridge is out. - [young Rick] His mind is collapsing. 300 00:15:44,982 --> 00:15:46,776 You thought you could take the same route back? 301 00:15:46,859 --> 00:15:50,196 Don't lecture me about memory bullshit. You've known about it for half an hour. 302 00:15:50,279 --> 00:15:52,240 - Then don't be an idiot! - This is your best friend? 303 00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:55,076 - He is a complicated individual. - Someone else drive. 304 00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:57,745 BP, remember the night Jerry caught us peeing on his begonia patch, 305 00:15:57,828 --> 00:15:59,372 and I used that gun to erase his memory? 306 00:15:59,455 --> 00:16:01,082 - Vaguely. - Gotta hope vaguely works. 307 00:16:01,165 --> 00:16:03,834 If I'm right, you remembering that means you also remember the device. 308 00:16:03,918 --> 00:16:07,046 Look for any memories of my garage. God, I hope one's still up. 309 00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:08,339 Mmm. 310 00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:12,176 - Aw, the night we met. - Gross, on my workbench? 311 00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,971 - Squanchy used the-- - That's what some closets are for! 312 00:16:15,054 --> 00:16:17,974 Come on, I'm really counting on your attention to detail here. 313 00:16:18,057 --> 00:16:20,434 This is what you [burps] remember from my lab? 314 00:16:20,518 --> 00:16:23,396 You would prefer I keep a mental inventory of your stuff? 315 00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:24,939 - Yes. - [squawks] 316 00:16:25,898 --> 00:16:27,900 Rick Sanchez, you're under arrest 317 00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:30,861 for making me spend two years in Earth high school. 318 00:16:30,945 --> 00:16:31,862 [Rick] Go, go, go! 319 00:16:33,656 --> 00:16:36,033 We'll have to do some creative memory shit to get out of here. 320 00:16:36,117 --> 00:16:38,619 The exit's when we met at Birding Man and did Senthol Diempathate. 321 00:16:38,703 --> 00:16:39,829 Damn, a great time. 322 00:16:39,912 --> 00:16:42,873 Exactly. It's too happy. There won't be a clean path to get there. 323 00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:45,418 We'll build one with memories of mine and lily- pad our way up. 324 00:16:45,501 --> 00:16:48,504 What related memories do we share heavy on anger and sadness? 325 00:16:48,588 --> 00:16:51,507 - Geardude's funeral. - Oh, that was sad. 326 00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:01,434 Patris et Filii, Gearitus Sancti. 327 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:05,563 They're memories, run them over, they're not real. 328 00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:06,897 Hey! Wait, is that Gearhead? 329 00:17:06,981 --> 00:17:08,983 We were freedom fighters with his older brother. 330 00:17:09,066 --> 00:17:10,610 Hugely important context. 331 00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:13,362 - You thought we hung out with him for fun? - [explosion and screaming] 332 00:17:13,446 --> 00:17:15,740 We need one more bridge to the festival. What's here? 333 00:17:15,823 --> 00:17:18,034 People in suits, sad catered lunch, 334 00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:20,953 newly single widows. Something performance based. 335 00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:22,830 Squanchy's very distasteful eulogy. 336 00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:24,915 Squanchy's terrible stand- up phase. 337 00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:27,627 That's it! Down that way. 338 00:17:29,962 --> 00:17:31,339 So you know when you're squanching, 339 00:17:31,422 --> 00:17:36,218 and she just gets real in there, you know that real nasty squanch? 340 00:17:38,179 --> 00:17:40,389 Who are you? What is--? Oh, my God. I'm a memory. 341 00:17:40,473 --> 00:17:42,600 We just sat through all that stand- up for nothing. 342 00:17:42,683 --> 00:17:43,684 Almost out. 343 00:17:44,602 --> 00:17:45,519 [device whirring] 344 00:17:46,103 --> 00:17:49,690 Okay, listen, everybody, my name's Rick. This is my new friend, Bird Man, 345 00:17:49,774 --> 00:17:51,817 and his friends. We all just met at this festival. 346 00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,111 And we're so high we formed a band-- 347 00:18:03,371 --> 00:18:05,790 As if I'd ever let you escape me. 348 00:18:06,749 --> 00:18:09,126 - Eh. Living's overrated. - Hey! 349 00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:11,337 [young Rick] Remember me! 350 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:15,216 No, fuck. We were even. You got a pretty cool memory of me. 351 00:18:15,299 --> 00:18:16,717 [growling] 352 00:18:22,807 --> 00:18:24,767 Go time, pal. Might be time to do the thing. 353 00:18:27,061 --> 00:18:31,482 I'm sorry for killing you and turning you into a cyborg, apparently. 354 00:18:31,565 --> 00:18:32,900 I really did love you. 355 00:18:32,983 --> 00:18:35,861 I loved you, too. Goodbye, Tamantha. 356 00:18:36,821 --> 00:18:39,073 Come on, man. I feel ridiculous. 357 00:18:39,532 --> 00:18:40,950 Thank you for not giving up on me. 358 00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:43,077 Great, you can pay me back literally right now. 359 00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:47,623 [roars] 360 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,628 Holy shit! Wow, holy shit. We almost didn't make it. 361 00:18:52,712 --> 00:18:55,005 Jesus fuck, that was close. That was insane. 362 00:18:55,089 --> 00:18:57,425 Oh, my God. That thing with the thing! 363 00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:00,928 Thank you, Rick. Wait, wait, wait. Let me hop back over to my body. 364 00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:03,472 [groans] 365 00:19:07,977 --> 00:19:10,521 We're back, baby! Rick and Birdperson, a hundred years. 366 00:19:10,604 --> 00:19:12,732 What do you think, tie this one off by tying one on? 367 00:19:12,815 --> 00:19:16,736 Not tonight. I have, as you say, parenting shit to deal with. 368 00:19:16,819 --> 00:19:18,529 Right, yeah. Welcome to the club. 369 00:19:18,612 --> 00:19:21,157 Don't, uh-- Don't clone it and send one of the two into space, 370 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,242 I guess they really hate that. [grunts] 371 00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:26,620 I think Memory Rick ditched Evil Tammy and snuck back over into my brain. 372 00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:29,206 I have a pubescent memory of my older self in my closet. 373 00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,041 Gotta deal with that. That could get ugly. 374 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:36,088 Rick, I do not like to pull threads. It is a disruptive and feline activity. 375 00:19:36,172 --> 00:19:38,382 - But I must ask... - It's fine, you don't have to. 376 00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:39,884 Was there really a second in there 377 00:19:39,967 --> 00:19:42,970 where you knew about my child, but chose not to inform me on the chance 378 00:19:43,053 --> 00:19:46,599 I might then grow too busy childrearing to hang out? 379 00:19:46,682 --> 00:19:47,808 Oh, uh. 380 00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,894 Weird way to thank me for discovering your kid. 381 00:19:49,977 --> 00:19:52,521 You did not know of the child when you came to rescue me, 382 00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:57,026 and once aware, refrained from sharing until necessary to save yourself. 383 00:19:58,402 --> 00:20:01,614 - Fair enough. - I will see you when I see you. 384 00:20:03,491 --> 00:20:05,493 [humming tune] 385 00:20:05,576 --> 00:20:07,703 [computer] What? What is this guy doing? 386 00:20:07,787 --> 00:20:09,163 Wait, what, but you said-- 387 00:20:09,246 --> 00:20:11,415 Get out of here, weirdo! 388 00:20:11,957 --> 00:20:15,544 What a weird stranger. Huh! What a random thing to happen, 389 00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:19,048 this guy coming up here with all his energy storage devices. 390 00:20:20,508 --> 00:20:22,676 Disloyalty acknowledged. 391 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,220 No, I get it. 392 00:20:25,262 --> 00:20:26,263 [woman] Just babysitting. 393 00:20:26,347 --> 00:20:29,141 That and modeling my new pantyhose in plain view of the living room. 394 00:20:29,225 --> 00:20:31,185 Honestly, the kid could come watch, I'd welcome it. 395 00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:33,729 This cultural time period's cool like that, you know? 396 00:20:38,859 --> 00:20:40,486 It's not what it looks like. 397 00:20:40,569 --> 00:20:43,656 It looks like you propagated yourself from BP's subconscious to mine 398 00:20:43,739 --> 00:20:45,783 to try to live as a sentient memory. 399 00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:46,742 Fair enough. 400 00:20:46,826 --> 00:20:49,078 You don't have to be an enemy just because you exist. 401 00:20:49,161 --> 00:20:50,955 I did assume you'd hate me for trying to live. 402 00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:53,207 You've got this wild callousness thing going on. 403 00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:54,333 Yeah, you're young. 404 00:20:54,416 --> 00:20:56,460 Come on, let's bring you to life and get a beer. 405 00:20:56,544 --> 00:20:58,712 Does being real mean I eventually become you? 406 00:20:58,796 --> 00:20:59,880 I assume, yeah. 407 00:21:00,464 --> 00:21:03,008 Maybe you can just remember us getting a beer. 408 00:21:03,384 --> 00:21:04,552 [theme music playing] 409 00:21:38,711 --> 00:21:40,379 [growls] 410 00:21:41,630 --> 00:21:42,882 [tray clatters] 411 00:21:42,965 --> 00:21:43,799 [alarm blaring] 412 00:21:43,883 --> 00:21:45,467 Hey! Oh, fuck. 413 00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:49,221 Jesus Christ! 414 00:21:49,305 --> 00:21:52,516 You think putting the violent ones in the same place might be counter- productive? 415 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,185 - They don't pay us to think, Phil. - No you're right, sorry. 416 00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:57,313 [yelling]