1
00:00:07,027 --> 00:00:10,572
[distant screaming]

2
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:13,367
[woman yelps]

3
00:00:14,952 --> 00:00:16,537
It's the Crow Man!

4
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:17,913
[crow cawing]

5
00:00:19,331 --> 00:00:20,290
[burps]

6
00:00:23,252 --> 00:00:25,796
Give it a second.
Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.

7
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,006
[crow cawing]

8
00:00:34,972 --> 00:00:36,557
He's anti- heroic! Run!

9
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,559
- [crowd screaming]
- I don't understand.

10
00:00:38,642 --> 00:00:39,977
He's only one man.

11
00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:41,895
With the power of a thousand crows.

12
00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:47,985
Good luck.

13
00:00:49,152 --> 00:00:51,572
Crows and owls have always been at war.

14
00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:52,781
But why do you care?

15
00:00:52,864 --> 00:00:54,992
- What's the point?
- Here's two.

16
00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:58,287
[crowd cheering]

17
00:00:59,496 --> 00:01:02,833
- [Morty chuckles] Yeah, cool.
- Morty?

18
00:01:02,916 --> 00:01:05,877
- Hey, man. Good to see you.
- [crows cawing]

19
00:01:05,961 --> 00:01:09,548
You're, like, looking like... into crows still.

20
00:01:09,631 --> 00:01:11,633
Oh, uh, Two Crows, you remember Morty.

21
00:01:11,717 --> 00:01:13,385
- Morty, Two Crows.
- [crow caws]

22
00:01:13,468 --> 00:01:15,721
Good to see you, but if you'd
given me more of a heads up--

23
00:01:15,804 --> 00:01:18,015
I was just in the neighborhood.
It wasn't like--

24
00:01:18,098 --> 00:01:20,601
It's just that the battle for crows
is kind of never- ending.

25
00:01:20,684 --> 00:01:23,437
Huh. Right. A little pointless then, right?

26
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,856
That came out wrong. Sounded judgey.

27
00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:29,943
- Crow Horse. Crow Horse.
- Okay, looks like...

28
00:01:30,027 --> 00:01:32,946
Looks like they're leading you to a thing.

29
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,449
- Take care, Morty.
- You, too.

30
00:01:35,532 --> 00:01:36,700
I'm doing good by the way.

31
00:01:36,783 --> 00:01:39,202
Oh, my dad was going to eat
that yogurt you left in the fridge,

32
00:01:39,286 --> 00:01:40,162
but I told him...

33
00:01:40,245 --> 00:01:41,872
[woman singing in Japanese]

34
00:02:13,153 --> 00:02:14,571
[burp echoing]

35
00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:20,535
[indistinct chatter]

36
00:02:22,704 --> 00:02:26,792
[Rick clears throat]
I'm looking for Crow Scare.

37
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:29,670
The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow?

38
00:02:29,753 --> 00:02:32,673
Come on. Whoever gives him up first lives.

39
00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:36,510
Fine, I can kill an extra asshole.
Helps me get my steps in.

40
00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:45,936
[growls]

41
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:53,944
- Rick!
- Morty?

42
00:02:54,569 --> 00:02:56,613
Wood? [groans]

43
00:02:57,989 --> 00:03:00,117
Uh, Morty, why are you now, like, 40?

44
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,451
That's how long it's been, Rick.

45
00:03:01,535 --> 00:03:04,246
Oh, uh, I guess we can have
a drink together then.

46
00:03:04,329 --> 00:03:06,123
Do you have a rum and coke?

47
00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:09,167
- What are you, 20?
- Oh, bless your heart.

48
00:03:09,251 --> 00:03:11,294
Time be going by, don't she?

49
00:03:11,378 --> 00:03:14,256
That's your reaction to finding out
you wasted your entire life?

50
00:03:14,339 --> 00:03:15,257
I feel okay.

51
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:16,967
Well, what about me?

52
00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:20,137
Whoa. Excuse us, boys.
You don't wanna be here for this.

53
00:03:20,804 --> 00:03:24,391
I thought if I gave you enough space,
you'd outgrow this phase.

54
00:03:24,474 --> 00:03:26,560
Here's your drink, poser.

55
00:03:26,643 --> 00:03:30,063
Dad got sick, you know.
Stage 4. You would've loved it.

56
00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:32,649
Summer's a nurse.
Well, pretty much a nurse.

57
00:03:32,733 --> 00:03:34,526
She married a junkie.

58
00:03:34,609 --> 00:03:37,446
Rick, come home
while we still got a little time.

59
00:03:37,529 --> 00:03:40,157
- Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.
- And this is?

60
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,284
You've had a thousand adventures
with these crows.

61
00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:43,994
When are you going to kill their big bad?

62
00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:46,788
First off, the will- they- kill- they
is everything to my guys.

63
00:03:46,872 --> 00:03:49,124
And second, fuck you for trying
to undermine my happiness.

64
00:03:49,207 --> 00:03:51,251
This may be the last time
you ever lay eyes on me.

65
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,044
I hope that's not true, Morty.

66
00:03:53,128 --> 00:03:56,631
Because you look like [burps] shit,
and this is not how I wanna remember you.

67
00:04:10,061 --> 00:04:12,230
[Crow Scare]
Now that I have his two crows,

68
00:04:12,314 --> 00:04:14,775
nothing will stop me
from eliminating Crow Rick.

69
00:04:14,858 --> 00:04:16,777
- [crows caw]
- Don't defend him to me.

70
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:19,571
- I don't even get what you see in him.
- [crows caw]

71
00:04:19,654 --> 00:04:22,365
You're right. We should be
enjoying the time we have together.

72
00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:26,286
Crow Rick!
Oh, I know what this must look like, but--

73
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:28,288
It looks like my archnemesis Crow Scare

74
00:04:28,371 --> 00:04:30,582
and my sidekicks
planning adventures together.

75
00:04:30,665 --> 00:04:32,250
You are hardly the victim here.

76
00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:35,837
I was adventuring with these two crows
before you ever came along.

77
00:04:39,007 --> 00:04:40,467
[crows caw]

78
00:04:41,051 --> 00:04:42,677
What do you mean using me as a rebound?

79
00:04:42,761 --> 00:04:43,970
[cawing]

80
00:04:44,054 --> 00:04:46,431
You feel like I was using you
as a rebound, too?

81
00:04:46,515 --> 00:04:48,725
Well, shit, this lost all meaning.

82
00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:50,018
I guess it could've been worse.

83
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:52,771
At least adventuring was just a metaphor
for romantic partnership

84
00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:54,147
so it's not a real break- up.

85
00:04:54,231 --> 00:04:57,859
Speak for yourself.
We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.

86
00:04:57,943 --> 00:04:59,152
What? Ugh. No.

87
00:04:59,236 --> 00:05:02,405
Sounds like the man's asking for proof.
Let's show him, fellas.

88
00:05:02,489 --> 00:05:05,075
- I asked for zero proof. Zero proof.
- Oh, you dirty birds...

89
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:14,835
I'm giving you free will. Ya!

90
00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:20,298
- Submit to Crow Horse!
- [screaming and crashing]

91
00:05:20,382 --> 00:05:21,550
Whoops.

92
00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:22,968
[doorbell rings]

93
00:05:24,135 --> 00:05:26,596
- Rick?
- Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal.

94
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,056
[Jerry] Morty, who's at the door?

95
00:05:28,139 --> 00:05:30,892
Wait, I thought you died gruesomely.
What the hell is going on?

96
00:05:30,976 --> 00:05:32,686
See, uh, the thing is--

97
00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:35,689
Can you please make Morty 14 again, Dad?
This is ridiculous.

98
00:05:35,772 --> 00:05:38,567
Okay, look, I may have used an aging serum

99
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,694
to kind of
emotionally blackmail you a little.

100
00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:43,822
I kind of figured, and I totally get it, Morty.
I'm done with the Two Crows.

101
00:05:43,905 --> 00:05:46,283
Like, they were super clingy,
and I'm ready to make this work.

102
00:05:46,366 --> 00:05:49,578
- Let's just hit the reset button.
- Well, no, honey. Not a reset, okay?

103
00:05:49,661 --> 00:05:51,997
Tell your grandpa
that you're worthy of his respect,

104
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,040
and you want to be treated
differently from now on.

105
00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:56,585
I refuse to do that.
I'm desperate to get back together.

106
00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:57,544
Just like his old man.

107
00:05:57,627 --> 00:05:59,421
Don't worry, honey.
That's Morty's middle age talking.

108
00:05:59,504 --> 00:06:02,465
He'll be less codependent once we get
more of his life in front of him again.

109
00:06:02,549 --> 00:06:06,136
I'd like him to stay 40
so he can keep buying my friends molly.

110
00:06:06,219 --> 00:06:09,306
I'd rather throw my vote away
than use it to support a flawed system.

111
00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:11,349
Can we make our first adventure fixing this?

112
00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:13,226
- I keep thinking about lawn care.
- Okay, buddy.

113
00:06:13,310 --> 00:06:15,312
Who sold you this shitty serum?
What'd he look like?

114
00:06:15,395 --> 00:06:17,314
Just like you. I got it from the Citadel.

115
00:06:17,397 --> 00:06:20,150
Hot damn, hitting the ground running
with a Citadel episode.

116
00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:21,651
See you later, masturbators.

117
00:06:22,736 --> 00:06:24,654
[elevator music playing]

118
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,451
Hi, I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,

119
00:06:29,534 --> 00:06:33,246
because this place wouldn't be home
without Ricks Andy Mortys.

120
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,415
- Dumb.
- Oof. What happened to this place?

121
00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,125
There's a Morty president now.

122
00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,502
Oh, that's cute. They rebuilt.
They made it nicer.

123
00:06:39,586 --> 00:06:42,047
- They made it Glendale.
- Goddamn, you are cantankerous.

124
00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,256
Even pooping hurts now.

125
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,467
Yeah, well, this place
is gonna fix you right up.

126
00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:49,429
Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty
that's been aged to... 40?

127
00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:51,723
- Can you reverse it?
- Well, if you look at it like a bone,

128
00:06:51,806 --> 00:06:54,643
what we can do is break his age
in two places, remove the middle,

129
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:57,896
- and graft its ends back together.
- That sounds really violent.

130
00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,023
- It's not a literal bone, Morty.
- Oh, okay.

131
00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:03,151
Brace yourself, the process
does also break every bone in your body.

132
00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:05,904
Wait! [screams] Ooh, ow.

133
00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:07,530
- I like crayons.
- Girls are gross.

134
00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,203
I think I feel like myself again.

135
00:07:13,286 --> 00:07:16,289
You look a little weird.
Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.

136
00:07:16,373 --> 00:07:17,791
- Is that normal?
- Probably.

137
00:07:17,874 --> 00:07:20,627
Sign here for storage or disposal
of the 26 years we removed.

138
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:22,963
Wait, what?
I ain't paying to store 26 years.

139
00:07:23,046 --> 00:07:24,297
Then you're taking it with you.

140
00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:28,093
I'm almost ready to sell out.

141
00:07:28,176 --> 00:07:29,678
All right, what's disposal cost?

142
00:07:30,303 --> 00:07:31,638
[grunting]

143
00:07:31,721 --> 00:07:32,931
Something unfair's happening.

144
00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:34,683
There's no escape! No escape!

145
00:07:34,766 --> 00:07:36,393
Let me help you. This is not a good look.

146
00:07:37,477 --> 00:07:39,312
- Oh, boy.
- Hey, they shot me!

147
00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:41,398
You are seriously hurting
the Citadel experience!

148
00:07:41,481 --> 00:07:42,691
- Listen to me!
- Drop the gun.

149
00:07:42,774 --> 00:07:44,150
Death is coming for us all,

150
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:46,111
and the Citadel
is a weapon of mass destru--

151
00:07:47,112 --> 00:07:49,072
Whoof.
You're about to get suspended with pay.

152
00:07:49,155 --> 00:07:51,366
Come on, let's get out of here
before this gets political.

153
00:07:51,449 --> 00:07:54,119
[groans] Was I... influential?

154
00:07:54,202 --> 00:07:55,996
Yeah, you were influential.

155
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,373
You had, like, seven blogs.

156
00:07:58,456 --> 00:07:59,916
Tight. [groans]

157
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:03,253
[groans] Too late. Rick C- 137.

158
00:08:03,336 --> 00:08:05,797
President Morty requests
you join him for dinner.

159
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,173
Whoa, seriously?

160
00:08:07,257 --> 00:08:09,759
- You know I destroyed this place?
- You've been pardoned for that.

161
00:08:09,843 --> 00:08:11,636
Let's have dinner with the Morty president.

162
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,596
The idea was to get back
to simple adventures.

163
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,056
The Citadel runs on canon.

164
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:18,643
[scoffs] Okay. I guess things really are
just going right back to how they were.

165
00:08:18,727 --> 00:08:20,270
Fine. I could eat.

166
00:08:20,353 --> 00:08:22,522
But the second he reveals he's evil,
we're gone.

167
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:25,817
[munches]

168
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:28,111
I don't know. It tastes pretty good.

169
00:08:28,194 --> 00:08:30,030
Okay, let me know
if you start feeling poison- y.

170
00:08:30,113 --> 00:08:32,782
Good to have you back, buddy. Mm.

171
00:08:33,658 --> 00:08:35,702
Sorry I'm late.
Never really ends around here.

172
00:08:35,785 --> 00:08:38,329
Look at this, Morty.
They really did make a you the president.

173
00:08:38,413 --> 00:08:39,748
And I hate them every day for it.

174
00:08:39,831 --> 00:08:42,000
But, wow, Rick C- 137.

175
00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:44,335
Now that's a guy
to move your schedule around for.

176
00:08:44,419 --> 00:08:46,504
Not here to blow
the place up again, I hope. [chuckles]

177
00:08:46,588 --> 00:08:48,131
Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.

178
00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:49,799
Jeez, wouldn't dream of it.

179
00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:53,303
But it's amazing you dropped by because
I was eventually going to hunt you down.

180
00:08:53,386 --> 00:08:55,805
- There's the reveal. Let's dance.
- Ha! Jeez.

181
00:08:55,889 --> 00:08:59,309
Rick, come on. The guy got elected president
by Ricks and Mortys. He's being really nice.

182
00:08:59,392 --> 00:09:02,604
- All politicians are nice.
- He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?

183
00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:04,898
We've been through a lot.
And he does not like--

184
00:09:04,981 --> 00:09:06,066
Serialized drama.

185
00:09:06,149 --> 00:09:09,402
Right, no drama. Keep it episodic.
Ricks never look back.

186
00:09:09,486 --> 00:09:11,112
Waste of a legend in his case.

187
00:09:11,196 --> 00:09:13,281
- You know he practically built this place?
- Wait, what?

188
00:09:13,364 --> 00:09:15,325
And now you're running it
squeaky clean, right?

189
00:09:15,408 --> 00:09:17,911
That's why you've got deformed Mortys
coming up through the sewer

190
00:09:17,994 --> 00:09:19,329
talking about hope and change?

191
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:21,289
- Fair enough.
- Good clapback, Rick.

192
00:09:21,372 --> 00:09:22,791
What's the deal with that, Mister P?

193
00:09:22,874 --> 00:09:25,710
I got a little project going on.
Required some hands- on labor.

194
00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:28,129
It would require less
if you were willing to tell me

195
00:09:28,213 --> 00:09:30,673
how one might bring down
the Central Finite Curve.

196
00:09:30,757 --> 00:09:32,842
- Time to go.
- I want to know what he's talking about.

197
00:09:32,926 --> 00:09:35,804
Yeah, you've come all this way.
Can you give me ten more seconds?

198
00:09:35,887 --> 00:09:37,514
Literally ten?
Because now it would be six.

199
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:41,601
I'm fine with that. Make it two, one...

200
00:09:41,684 --> 00:09:44,020
Like I said, would have been
a big help for you to tell me,

201
00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:45,980
but I should have everything
I need from you now.

202
00:09:46,064 --> 00:09:47,315
Let me just make sure.

203
00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:49,734
You can't scan an entire brain
over appetizers.

204
00:09:49,818 --> 00:09:52,779
Oh, most of yours
got scanned a long time ago.

205
00:09:53,404 --> 00:09:54,572
You probably don't remember.

206
00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:56,991
Check out season one,
episode nine, Rick Heads.

207
00:09:57,075 --> 00:09:58,701
Excel-- [burps] --sior.

208
00:09:58,785 --> 00:10:00,703
- Evil Rick.
- We kicked his ass.

209
00:10:00,787 --> 00:10:02,122
Evil Rick. I love it.

210
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:03,665
Smartest man in the universe.

211
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,709
With an ego so big
you can just grab it like a joystick.

212
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:09,712
Looks complete. I was afraid
I'd have to kill every Rick on the Citadel

213
00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:12,507
- to get what I needed.
- You asshole. I vouched for you.

214
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:15,593
He only came here because I asked him to.
I'm sorry, Rick.

215
00:10:15,677 --> 00:10:18,513
That apology and a screwdriver in my hand
would be worth a screwdriver.

216
00:10:18,596 --> 00:10:20,181
You sellout Mortys kill me.

217
00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:23,143
I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship
if there was any point.

218
00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:25,645
But you can't help it. You were bred for it.

219
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:26,729
Want to see?

220
00:10:30,024 --> 00:10:33,945
<i>You already know rogue Ricks used Mortys
to hide themselves from the Citadel.</i>

221
00:10:34,028 --> 00:10:38,491
<i>But you might not know it worked so well
that the Citadel became its own Morty Market.</i>

222
00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:40,827
<i>And I'm sure you don't know
how far they've gone</i>

223
00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,495
<i>to help supply meet demand.</i>

224
00:10:42,579 --> 00:10:45,999
<i>Sure, Ricks could scour infinity
for naturally occurring grandsons.</i>

225
00:10:46,082 --> 00:10:50,211
<i>But why bother? So much work.
Such an admission of need.</i>

226
00:10:51,212 --> 00:10:53,381
<i>There aren't infinite versions
of our grandfather, Morty.</i>

227
00:10:53,464 --> 00:10:56,259
<i>He's an infinite smear
of one shitty old man.</i>

228
00:10:56,342 --> 00:11:00,930
<i>And he's attached to us infinitely
through his weakness and our forgiveness.</i>

229
00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:05,143
<i>This is why we're with him.
This is why we're alive.</i>

230
00:11:08,897 --> 00:11:11,900
What the fuck? Rick, say this isn't true.

231
00:11:11,983 --> 00:11:13,735
- It isn't the whole truth.
- Liar!

232
00:11:13,818 --> 00:11:15,820
- It's complicated.
- I'm not busy.

233
00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:18,406
Okay, Morty, remember when I said
all I need was your apology

234
00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:19,908
and a screwdriver in my hand?

235
00:11:19,991 --> 00:11:22,243
Well, I forgot I literally have
a screwdriver in my hand.

236
00:11:22,327 --> 00:11:24,204
I mean, duh doy,
I'm basically inspector Gadget.

237
00:11:24,287 --> 00:11:25,705
Uh- oh.

238
00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:28,208
It's okay. He's free to go.

239
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:32,420
He's the Rickest Rick.
We'll never see him again.

240
00:11:34,547 --> 00:11:37,967
Morty, when you came here for that serum,
did you refill this gun?

241
00:11:38,051 --> 00:11:40,595
- Yeah.
- Oh! [grunts]

242
00:11:40,678 --> 00:11:42,347
Holy shit!

243
00:11:42,430 --> 00:11:44,432
I only know one man
that ever hacked my portal gun,

244
00:11:44,515 --> 00:11:46,226
and it turned out it was evil you.

245
00:11:46,309 --> 00:11:48,436
Yay! He's all caught up.

246
00:11:49,771 --> 00:11:51,189
Wait. Hold it. Hold it.

247
00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:55,443
- Who's that?
- Time for Big Boy. Duck.

248
00:11:56,653 --> 00:11:58,071
[moaning]

249
00:11:58,154 --> 00:11:59,197
Does he like it?

250
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,658
It's a metaphor for capitalism, Morty.
What do you think?

251
00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:08,373
[moaning continues]

252
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:15,546
[moaning continues]

253
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:21,135
[Rick] Yoink.

254
00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:22,971
You can't outrun your past, Rick.

255
00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:26,599
[tuts] Did you think my forcefield
would be down the second time?

256
00:12:26,683 --> 00:12:29,018
I was expressing disapproval
of your dialogue.

257
00:12:29,102 --> 00:12:31,187
[chuckles] Disapprove all you want.

258
00:12:31,271 --> 00:12:33,940
Tonight, the quality of dialogue
stops mattering.

259
00:12:34,023 --> 00:12:38,778
Tonight, I do that thing I want to do
with the curve thing.

260
00:12:41,656 --> 00:12:43,658
[Rick over loudspeaker]
<i>Nobody leave, everybody stay.</i>

261
00:12:43,741 --> 00:12:45,243
<i>Nobody leave, everybody stay.</i>

262
00:12:45,743 --> 00:12:47,161
[screams]

263
00:12:47,245 --> 00:12:48,288
[screams]

264
00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:51,291
<i>- Nobody leave, everybody stay.</i>
- [screams]

265
00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:53,167
<i>Nobody leave, everybody stay.</i>

266
00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:55,169
<i>Nobody leave, everybody stay.</i>

267
00:12:55,253 --> 00:12:56,754
<i>In uncertain times like these,</i>

268
00:12:56,838 --> 00:12:58,840
I think it's important to say,
"Eat shit, fuck you."

269
00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:00,800
The drug companies paid for me
to say every word.

270
00:13:00,883 --> 00:13:03,594
I have millions of dollars
and I don't care if you live or--

271
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:05,513
No! Fuck, no! Whoa!

272
00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:08,099
I'd just like to say
that prescription drugs are great,

273
00:13:08,182 --> 00:13:09,183
You should buy them now.

274
00:13:10,018 --> 00:13:11,227
[Morty] What's happening, Rick?

275
00:13:11,311 --> 00:13:12,937
He hacked the entire city's portal supply.

276
00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:15,898
Come on. There still might be one way
out of here. Out the bottom.

277
00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:23,906
What do you think he needed
from your brain?

278
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,659
I assume schematics
for the Citadel's dimensional drive.

279
00:13:26,743 --> 00:13:29,579
If he's going to use it to blow the curve,
we do not want to be here.

280
00:13:29,662 --> 00:13:32,290
- What is the Central Finite Curve?
- Q and A after our survival.

281
00:13:32,373 --> 00:13:34,542
Hopefully, we can snag
some untainted fluid at the source

282
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,002
and get the fuck out of here.

283
00:13:37,128 --> 00:13:38,171
Or not.

284
00:13:38,254 --> 00:13:40,548
[distant groaning]

285
00:13:40,631 --> 00:13:43,217
Wow, I thought my capitalism metaphor
was on the nose.

286
00:13:43,301 --> 00:13:45,261
Ow! Oh!

287
00:13:45,345 --> 00:13:48,514
So, did you help build the Citadel?
Did you just lie to me about everything?

288
00:13:48,598 --> 00:13:50,224
Can't we just sneak through the cave base?

289
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:52,643
We turned a new leaf, Morty.
We're back to simple adventures.

290
00:13:52,727 --> 00:13:54,645
It's not a new leaf
until you tell me everything.

291
00:13:54,729 --> 00:13:57,106
Morty, we don't have time for this.
The place is gonna blow.

292
00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:58,358
No, I don't trust you.

293
00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:01,069
I don't want to do this if I'm not
going to get straight answers.

294
00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:03,780
Goddamn it.
Here's my fucking downloaded brain, Morty.

295
00:14:03,863 --> 00:14:04,906
You want to jump the shark?

296
00:14:04,989 --> 00:14:06,824
You want to know my stupid
crybaby backstory?

297
00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:08,659
Knock yourself out. Not now!

298
00:14:10,828 --> 00:14:12,246
[inaudible]

299
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,377
[echoing laughter]

300
00:16:28,174 --> 00:16:30,718
[Rick] <i>Boo- yah. Nice one, Morty.</i>

301
00:16:32,303 --> 00:16:34,305
Whoa. Dead wife?

302
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,265
Yes, now everyone can shut up about it.

303
00:16:36,349 --> 00:16:37,600
Wow, Rick.

304
00:16:37,683 --> 00:16:39,393
I feel a lot better having seen all that.

305
00:16:39,477 --> 00:16:43,022
Of course that's the case.
In their minds, they're the underdogs.

306
00:16:43,898 --> 00:16:46,234
And that's how they justify this.

307
00:16:48,319 --> 00:16:51,072
Morty, I'm not responsible
for every fucked- up Rick out there.

308
00:16:51,155 --> 00:16:52,240
They literally all say that.

309
00:16:52,323 --> 00:16:54,617
They all have that excuse.
It's part of their system.

310
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,703
None of them have to be responsible.
They're all victims of themselves.

311
00:16:57,787 --> 00:17:00,289
Oh, it's so hard to be a genius.
Couldn't you just die?

312
00:17:00,373 --> 00:17:03,167
- What are you doing about it?
- Jack shit. I'm leaving.

313
00:17:03,251 --> 00:17:05,419
Do you know what
the Central Finite Curve is?

314
00:17:05,503 --> 00:17:07,046
They built a wall around infinity.

315
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:10,132
They separated all the infinite universes
from all the infinite universes

316
00:17:10,216 --> 00:17:12,301
where he's the smartest man in the universe.

317
00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:14,845
Every version of us has spent
every version of all of our lives

318
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:18,224
in one infinite crib
built around an infinite fucking baby.

319
00:17:18,724 --> 00:17:21,269
And I'm leaving it.
That's what makes me evil.

320
00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:22,812
Being sick of him.

321
00:17:22,895 --> 00:17:25,356
If you've ever been sick of him,
you've been evil, too.

322
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:29,068
Rick, did you really leave the crows for me?

323
00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:31,320
Or did you come back
because they dumped you?

324
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,866
There you go, kid.
Now you're Evil Morty, too.

325
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:39,370
Sooner or later, we all are
on this side of the curve.

326
00:17:48,504 --> 00:17:49,797
- [yelps]
- [screams]

327
00:17:53,926 --> 00:17:54,802
Don't worry, Morty.

328
00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:57,346
We still got a way out they never
thought of: Operation Phoenix.

329
00:17:57,430 --> 00:17:59,890
- Doesn't that still mean death?
- Sure, but the joke's on them.

330
00:17:59,974 --> 00:18:02,226
Because we just found a backdoor
to getting off this rock.

331
00:18:04,228 --> 00:18:05,479
[computer] <i>Rerouted.</i>

332
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:09,692
<i>- Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>
- [screaming]

333
00:18:09,775 --> 00:18:11,819
<i>Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>

334
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,450
Oh, my fucking God!

335
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:19,910
- Come on, Morty. We gotta go.
- Whoa!

336
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:24,290
You can come if you want.
Don't blame me if you don't.

337
00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:25,374
[Rick groans]

338
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:28,085
From where I sit, Morty,
that's the best deal on the table.

339
00:18:28,169 --> 00:18:29,754
I don't have a real plan.

340
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:33,215
[Morty grunts]

341
00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:36,636
Thanks, pal.
I'm glad you ignored my advice.

342
00:18:36,719 --> 00:18:40,056
It's just as well.
I lied. That second seat's a toilet.

343
00:18:40,139 --> 00:18:41,641
Oh, super dick move.

344
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:43,476
But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.

345
00:18:43,559 --> 00:18:46,020
Jeez, you guys really are
bred for forgiveness. Let's go.

346
00:18:49,106 --> 00:18:51,484
[grumbling]

347
00:19:01,827 --> 00:19:03,204
Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.

348
00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:06,707
[alarm blaring]

349
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:14,465
[screaming]

350
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,372
[both straining]

351
00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:16,736
[sighs]

352
00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:30,374
[theme music playing]

353
00:20:58,986 --> 00:21:03,032
Oowee!
Evil Morty. That was quite a scheme.

354
00:21:03,115 --> 00:21:05,743
Makes me wonder
if there's an evil me out there.

355
00:21:05,826 --> 00:21:09,455
But I guess, sometimes, I look at my life
and I may not even need him.

356
00:21:09,538 --> 00:21:13,042
Because, well, guess I've made
a pretty big mess of things myself.

357
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:14,627
Oowee...

358
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:17,671
Never got my job at the university back.
Remember that?

359
00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:20,925
Rick made me do karate.
It was kinda funny.

360
00:21:21,008 --> 00:21:23,260
But I guess things went downhill from there.

361
00:21:23,344 --> 00:21:25,554
Started isolating myself from Amy.

362
00:21:25,638 --> 00:21:27,848
Used to tell her everything I was feeling.

363
00:21:27,932 --> 00:21:29,433
But then I guess I stopped

364
00:21:29,517 --> 00:21:31,852
because I wanted her to love
who she thought I was,

365
00:21:31,936 --> 00:21:34,021
not who I felt myself becoming.

366
00:21:34,104 --> 00:21:36,690
Ever think about how horrified
the people we love would be

367
00:21:36,774 --> 00:21:38,734
if they found out who we truly are?

368
00:21:38,818 --> 00:21:42,696
So we just dig ourselves deeper
into our lies every day.

369
00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:46,116
Ultimately hurting the only people
brave enough to love us.

370
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,868
Wish I didn't do that.

371
00:21:47,952 --> 00:21:49,995
Wish I was brave enough to love them back.

372
00:21:50,079 --> 00:21:52,665
I don't know. Maybe you should try it.

373
00:21:52,748 --> 00:21:56,126
We don't have as much time as we think.
Oowee...