1
00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:09,870
Oh, my God, I cannot
fucking believe this!
2
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,840
Here we fucking go!
3
00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:13,290
Oh! Jeez!
4
00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:16,730
Pardon the interruption.
5
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,630
We are once again in the federal clear.
6
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,960
Rick, what the hell?! A-Are
you a Turkey Dracula now?
7
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,800
Morty, is that a Pooplickian GamePod?
8
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,470
Actually it's the GamePod XL.
9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,740
They say it's the most realistic
video game console ever.
10
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,680
- I never got you that.
- Space Mom did.
11
00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:30,470
She's in for the holiday
weekend, remember?
12
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,429
Shit, in that case, let's go,
let's get out of here...
13
00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:33,889
I heard you smack the glass, Dad.
14
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,289
- If you bail, I'll disown you!
- Yeah,
15
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,609
I'd say don't hop through a portal.
16
00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,830
But, oh, wait, you can't.
17
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:41,080
Look at it this way, Morty.
Life is a subscription,
18
00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:43,553
and Thanksgiving is your
family's yearly charge.
19
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,650
Wow, Dad, good job.
20
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:49,920
Rick, put some pants on.
Today has so few rules.
21
00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:51,350
Yes, Patriarch.
22
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,640
Ding ding ding!
23
00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:55,160
I'd like to make a toast.
24
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:57,760
Today is a day for thanks.
25
00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,700
And for family.
26
00:00:59,710 --> 00:01:02,864
And for remembering all
of those that have less.
27
00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:04,490
- Okay, pick a scope.
- Pick a scope?
28
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,430
Can we please have a
normal Thanksgiving?
29
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,949
Well, seems like all
the ones I remember.
30
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:09,090
Good point.
31
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:12,550
Baby, you... It's a toast.
32
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,630
- Sorry!
- Sorry!
33
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,320
Anyway, I'm thankful for my wife.
34
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,214
Beth. The Beth that chose me.
35
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,490
I'm so grateful to you,
36
00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:24,670
and I literally could
not live without you.
37
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,690
- Aw!
- Aw! Aw!
38
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,809
I really mean that. If something
were to happen to you,
39
00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,869
or if you were to leave
me, or be unfaithful,
40
00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:31,330
- I would die.
- Mm! Uh...
41
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:33,250
Literally. Probably by my own hand.
42
00:01:33,270 --> 00:01:34,300
- Eww.
- Okay.
43
00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:35,550
I know how I'd do it.
44
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,380
Our first blender has an extra long cord
45
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,470
and it was manufactured
before safety fuses,
46
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,950
so I'd draw a warm bath...
47
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,010
And blend some stuff. Good toast, honey.
48
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,410
To thankfulness.
49
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,310
To... A-America?
50
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,590
To ending the toast?
51
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:49,550
To ending the toast!
52
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,680
Just to, uh, be clear,
I was saying I'd kill myself.
53
00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:54,707
- Jerry. God!
- We know!
54
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,531
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
55
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:28,950
Sorry Jerry got all husbandy.
56
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,830
Yeah, do not miss that.
57
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,079
So I was thinking we could set
you up in Jerry's man cave?
58
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,439
Oh, that's okay, I'll sleep in my car.
59
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,860
It's got a TARDIS thing going
on, bigger on the inside.
60
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:40,030
Dad calls it hack, but my
soaking tub begs to differ.
61
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,630
Hmm, maybe I'll trade you. Ohh!
62
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,173
Agh! My lower back.
63
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,070
Oh, I got this.
64
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,210
Ah, Jesus, that was great.
65
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,490
Well, you're me.
66
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,474
I find this is usually the biggest help.
67
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:58,230
Mmm, oh, I just love...
the Venusian stuff.
68
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,790
It's cool, I get insecure trying
to pronounce this crap, too,
69
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:02,480
but I got just the thing for that.
70
00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:03,860
Here.
71
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,350
_
72
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:09,400
_
73
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,190
_
74
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,240
Um...
75
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:16,370
_
76
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:21,100
Okay, shoot that asteroid.
Now shoot that one.
77
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:23,180
Now shoot me in the face.
This game's trash.
78
00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:25,339
I didn't want to say anything,
but this does seem lame.
79
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:26,709
Yeah, I thought it was
maybe 'cause we've shot
80
00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:27,720
so many real asteroids.
81
00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,030
L-Let's look at the menu.
82
00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,410
- Oh! T-There's the realism setting.
- Oh, cool.
83
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,810
Also stupid. The factory setting is 4?
84
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,750
- What do we want, 10?
- No, do 9. I'm kidding.
85
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,199
- Shut up, Summer.
- Yeah, shut up, Summer.
86
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,370
Put 10.
87
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:43,990
- This is the same.
- It's worse. It's...
88
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,769
Oh. Oh. I get it. Okay.
It's... It's more real.
89
00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,300
The vast majority of space is empty.
90
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:51,430
What? Who cares? T-Then what am I doing?
91
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,118
Looks like you can record a video
for your kid in case you die.
92
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,729
Not a bad idea, you're gonna
be in space for a while.
93
00:03:57,750 --> 00:04:01,480
May as well. Um, hey, son. Uh...
94
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,670
If you're seeing this,
95
00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:05,671
I... starved to death while
looking for an asteroid.
96
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,480
Ugh. This is stupid.
97
00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:09,789
You guys are obviously just trying
to convince yourselves it's cool
98
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,030
because you feel lame about it.
99
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,320
Summer you know nothing
about gamer culture.
100
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:14,869
Bro, tell your son you
love the shit out of him.
101
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:15,973
Oh, I'm gonna!
102
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,250
Of course we both can't
sleep at the same time.
103
00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:29,370
Yeah, we do share a shitty back.
104
00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:31,740
- Turn around. At least let me...
- Yes, please.
105
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,490
Oh, my God.
106
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:36,510
Okay, I know we're not massage
people, but you need this.
107
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,650
See, you act like this
badass space cowboy,
108
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,940
but I know you're just a
scared little overachiever
109
00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:43,334
that keeps all her OCD right...
110
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,490
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
111
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,850
By the way you better be
taking notes... I'm next.
112
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,320
It's my back, you dumb bitch.
113
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,030
Nice.
114
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,210
What?
115
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,789
Well, I better get back to bed.
116
00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:02,910
Yep. Same.
117
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:10,486
Oh, so now you're into
highly realistic video games?
118
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:12,680
Maybe I decided real life
was too much right now,
119
00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:14,880
or maybe I'm not afraid to
change my mind about stuff.
120
00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:18,090
Maybe mental flexibility is
stronger than stubbornness.
121
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,690
Nice manip', Sum-Sum.
122
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,500
Okay, I-I'm in the alley
behind the library.
123
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,630
- Uptown or downtown?
- Shit, there's one uptown, too?
124
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,419
It's okay, stay there,
I think I'm near the red line.
125
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:26,890
Is this "Street Fighter"?
126
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,769
"Street Fighter" where
you start at the beginning
127
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:31,150
of each fighter's day and have
to find each other to fight.
128
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,230
It's very realistic.
129
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,849
Not even guaranteed a fight will happen.
130
00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:36,580
That meter filling up is us forgetting
what made us so mad.
131
00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,210
If anyone's interested in
a higher level of realism,
132
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,100
I'm booting up the OG...
133
00:05:41,110 --> 00:05:45,850
that's Original Game, called
a jigsaw puzzle... in the den.
134
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:47,560
Hey, gang!
135
00:05:47,570 --> 00:05:48,999
Me and my space self
are gonna make a run
136
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,780
to the Gloppy Drop System for ice cream.
137
00:05:50,790 --> 00:05:52,904
- Any flavor requests?
- Vanilla!
138
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:55,030
Why do you guys have to go
all the way to deep space
139
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,160
just for ice cream?
140
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,590
Gloppy Dropulites have less
taste buds than humans.
141
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,330
Their ice cream is like a hospital bed.
142
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,622
It's designed for you to
do less so it does more.
143
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,707
Okay, see ya in a bit.
144
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:07,270
I'll get started sorting
all the obvious sky pieces.
145
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,290
Secret technique.
146
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,429
- Oh, shit, there you are!
- Oh, fuck, it's on, bitch!
147
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,219
- I'm gonna eat your ass!
- You will die in the street
148
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,715
like a dog!
149
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,136
Stunning.
150
00:06:17,970 --> 00:06:20,450
Thank you. This is incredible.
151
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:23,080
Eh. Just glad I had
something in your size.
152
00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,450
How far is Gloppy Drop?
153
00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:29,110
And why do I always think
I'm wearing a watch?
154
00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:30,700
I actually have a pint of Gloppy Drop
155
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,460
on a little apartment orbiting Earth.
156
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,790
So we have time.
157
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,790
You have your own space station?
158
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,365
We have our own space station.
159
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,790
- We're the same person.
- There's differences.
160
00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:43,070
Like, one of us has no
idea who she really is.
161
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,640
Wrong. But let's make a deal.
162
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,610
Let's trust ourselves enough
to stop wondering
163
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,125
who we are when we're together.
164
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:49,900
We get to say anything to each other.
165
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,940
Things we'd never say to
anyone else, even ourselves.
166
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:55,049
What don't we say to ourselves?
167
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,511
How about, "Wow, my ass looks
good in that space suit"?
168
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,634
I mean it. I'm a good-looking woman.
169
00:07:00,635 --> 00:07:02,320
Well, that's nice of you to say.
170
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:07,687
I also... find myself...
quite attractive.
171
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,170
We forgot the ice cream.
172
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:22,410
I want you back in my guts
173
00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:24,662
like I'm one of your
sick little fillies.
174
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:33,710
Oh, God damn it, Morty!
175
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,250
You can't just take my controller.
176
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,810
Yes, I can! It's mine!
177
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:39,530
- Ugh. Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme.
- Make your own controller,
178
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,209
some of us need all
the control we can get.
179
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,670
Ugh, fuck you!
180
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:46,270
So why are you so suddenly
into realistic video games?
181
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,290
I already was.
182
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,330
Yeah, but now you're
into them the way I am.
183
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:51,380
You mean, like staring at
them in a numb trance?
184
00:07:51,390 --> 00:07:53,900
Uh-huh. Not judging, just noticing.
185
00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:56,610
Yeah, y-you tend to notice
stuff a little before I do.
186
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,010
But eventually you do notice.
187
00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,440
And now we can both not
notice together, yes.
188
00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:02,283
Oh, my God... Beth!
189
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,840
I thought you said you got ice cream?
190
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,809
Yeah, I, uh... It must be in the, uh...
191
00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,790
Oh, the car! We left it in the car.
192
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,620
Okay, good, because that
would have been weird!
193
00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:13,890
I worry things might become
more and more noticeable.
194
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,039
Yeah, and if he kills himself,
195
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,229
we're gonna have to get a new dad.
196
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,798
Jesus Christ, Summer!
197
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,350
Hey, Dad.
198
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,210
Um, hmm, what's this?
199
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,230
Making a controller.
200
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,670
This species of bionic space
whale has carbon wiring,
201
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,240
great for smooth gameplay.
202
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,770
I'm not killing it, for the record.
203
00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:33,040
I'm just replacing its esophagus
with a better one.
204
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:35,050
For free. I-It should thank me.
205
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,530
And it will, with its mind.
206
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,789
These things are telepathic, Beth.
207
00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:39,070
They talk to you in dreams.
208
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,550
Does your replicator
thing make ice cream
209
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,050
from the Gloppy Drop system?
210
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:46,000
Why would you want replicated
Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser?
211
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:48,610
Crazy thing. I went with
Space Beth to get some,
212
00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:51,630
and we had such a great time
we forgot the ice cream!
213
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,260
- Crazy, right?
- That's a real question?
214
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,370
M-Maybe?
215
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,170
Come here, hold the pup down.
216
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,850
You're talking about an infinite father.
217
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,840
I've met myself out
there infinite times.
218
00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:02,390
Infinite shit happens.
219
00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:04,810
Including, as you put it,
forgetting the ice cream.
220
00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:06,830
You've... forgotten the ice cream?
221
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,490
Drill me for details when I'm drunker.
222
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,970
In the meantime, don't
worry about what's crazy.
223
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,590
You know, as the kids say, you do you.
224
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:15,010
Oh, thanks. Thank you so much, Dad.
225
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:16,329
One thing to keep in mind, though.
226
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:18,179
It's not just your own ice
cream you're forgetting.
227
00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:19,190
It's your family's.
228
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,699
If you forget it too much, you
start having to keep secrets.
229
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,280
Oh, and you're against secrets?
230
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:25,260
Against? Hell no. Secrets are great.
231
00:09:25,270 --> 00:09:27,910
For instance, I've had a
pint of vanilla Gloppy Drop
232
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,130
in my fridge this whole time.
233
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:31,250
Take it. I'm just saying, lies pile up.
234
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,370
Like credit card debt.
235
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:34,250
You retain an advantage
by staying liquid.
236
00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:36,130
Gotcha. Well...
237
00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:39,213
I'd call this a simple cash transaction.
238
00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:41,841
Fun and done.
239
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,590
Favorite Culkin.
240
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,989
- Kieran!
- Kieran!
241
00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:53,102
Favorite song by Britney.
242
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,129
- "Work Bitch"!
- "Work Bitch"!
243
00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:55,146
Favorite hangover cure.
244
00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:56,749
- Hair of the dog with a guilty pleasure
- Hair of the dog with a guilty pleasure
245
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,430
- like "Humans Weekly."
- like "Us Weekly."
246
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:04,370
I told Dad.
247
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,170
I mean, I didn't have to. He knew.
248
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:09,070
I guess that's one reason
you didn't have to tell him.
249
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,070
What'd he say?
250
00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:14,590
We kind of talked in code,
I think he said it's fine
251
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,210
until it makes us feel
indebted to our lessers.
252
00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:18,550
That sounds like Dad.
253
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,970
Do we owe... the family an explanation?
254
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,610
Do we have to spend our time together
255
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:25,070
figuring out how to please others?
256
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,150
I'm married.
257
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,170
We both are, but I'm in our marriage.
258
00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:31,510
It's the defining difference between us.
259
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,990
Well, there's no rule book
that says you have to be.
260
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,070
What's gonna happen?
261
00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,700
What is this? Are we in love...
262
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,170
with ourself?
263
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,560
I mean, does that make us the most
264
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,750
or the least healthy
woman in the universe?
265
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:45,905
Anybody ever tell you
you're overly analytical?
266
00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:47,890
Which I do love.
267
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,350
If that's what you need to call it.
268
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,380
I don't need to call it anything.
269
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:55,050
I would like to know... its shelf life.
270
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:57,541
I might know a way to gather that data.
271
00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:58,710
- Motel room!
- The Holodeck!
272
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,377
I like yours better.
273
00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:02,990
Hmm... Uh...
274
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,550
Beth! Uh, m-my Beth!
275
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,470
Well, not "my" Beth, but... I finished!
276
00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:13,930
It's done!
277
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,610
Kids, do you know where your moms are?
278
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:17,830
Oh, you're busy with your GamePod.
279
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,900
Don't worry about it,
I'll find those two somewhere.
280
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:24,652
No! No, Dad, um, come
play video games with us!
281
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,130
Okay, Dad, here's the
infinite menu screen.
282
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:28,405
Oh, I dunno.
283
00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,991
Here, here, I-I'll have the
console choose a game!
284
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,150
_
285
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,550
Um, maybe let's skip this one?
286
00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,536
Really? Why? Looks fun!
287
00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:37,209
_
288
00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:39,760
Oh, okay, so we are a
woman married to a man,
289
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,930
but having a sexual affair
with another woman!
290
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,390
Very spicy.
291
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,590
Very spicy, Jer. G-Good job.
292
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:49,134
Looks pretty single player, kids?
293
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,767
Seriously, you two?!
294
00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:59,144
What the hell did you
do in my Holodeck?!
295
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:03,070
Holy shit, you... you did a
full "San Junipero" in here?
296
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,740
Oh, my God, Beth, there's masturbating
297
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,650
and then there's masturbating.
298
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,779
- Ew, Dad, stop, I'm sorry!
- You'd know, old man.
299
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,770
Argh! Look, this isn't my business,
300
00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:13,480
and by all means, enjoy being
sapphic horse girls together.
301
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,190
But you suck at doing it secretly.
302
00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:17,510
- We all know.
- Including Jerry?!
303
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:19,890
No, Dad's so in the dark that
he's enjoying a video game
304
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:21,249
about being in an affair right now.
305
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,949
If you guys are doing this,
you got to tell him!
306
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,390
Okay, little man, back off.
307
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,490
- Take it easy. They're right.
- Right about what,
308
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:28,330
that we have to be twice as considerate
309
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:29,591
and twice as repressed
310
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,660
because some dick split us in two?
311
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:34,888
This is the shit I left.
This isn't. This is me.
312
00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:37,150
This is the me that doesn't
tell you all to fuck off.
313
00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:39,050
So allow me. Fuck off.
314
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:41,630
She'll tell her husband what she
wants when she feels like it.
315
00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:43,569
And you can deal with it
or you can deal with me.
316
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:46,410
But you should know I have
all the Predator weapons.
317
00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:48,769
- Works for me.
- That's cool.
318
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,821
- Fair enough.
- I guess it's time for ice cream.
319
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:53,430
Come on, kids, you're
inhaling this stuff.
320
00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:54,960
Your Moms went to space.
321
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:57,536
Did you even thank them for doing it?
322
00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:00,930
Thanks for... doing it, Moms.
323
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,333
Very selfless of you.
324
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:04,070
Eat your ice cream however you want.
325
00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:05,461
Nothing good lasts forever.
326
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:08,200
_
327
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,050
_
328
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,490
Okay, come on, it's Thanksgiving.
329
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:16,010
The least we can do is speak English.
330
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,590
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
331
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,690
Or I'm your wife and had sex
with the clone you sleep with.
332
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,729
Your pick. We had sex. We loved it.
333
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,275
Beth Sanchez sure is something, huh?
334
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,690
I think I'll ask her to prom.
335
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,810
Jerry, for your own sake,
stay away from Beth Sanchez.
336
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,090
Worst case, she says "no."
337
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,570
No, Jerry. Worst case she says "yes."
338
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,370
She's too much woman for you.
339
00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:42,110
Yeah, maybe she'd find your
simple naiveté endearing,
340
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:43,230
but she's intense.
341
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,209
Sooner or later, she'd tear you apart.
342
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:49,463
I'd be lucky to be torn
apart by Beth Sanchez.
343
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,609
- Aah!
- What the fuck?!
344
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:58,150
Dad's a bug! Dad rolled into a bug!
345
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,330
Oh, yeah. Sh... Forgot I installed that.
346
00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,010
Why does Jerry have a Pill Bug Protocol?
347
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,410
It's an emotional defense system.
348
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,773
I got drunk with Jerry one night
349
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,349
and he said it's what he
wanted most in the world.
350
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,527
Don't blame me, I wanted tattoos.
351
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,909
Anyway, he's in perfect health in there
352
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,209
and he can unroll when he chooses to,
353
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:17,290
but can also stay in metabolic
hibernation pretty much indefinitely.
354
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,369
It's a cool power to have,
like if you have to fly coach
355
00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:21,959
or if Summer asks you what you
thought of "Wonder Woman 1984."
356
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,760
- How do we undo it?
- Only he can.
357
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:27,230
That's the point. It's total safety.
Even I can't reverse it.
358
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,759
If you try to pry him
out and hit a nerve,
359
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,290
he'll literally turn into a Shrek.
360
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,548
In his own sad way, he's taken control.
361
00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,090
This is classic Jerry.
362
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,310
He'd rather be a bug
than have a conversation.
363
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,269
Oh, have you heard the way
you start conversations?
364
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:39,790
You ladies discuss responsibility
365
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:42,474
while I get stoned and play
video games with your kids.
366
00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:46,770
_
367
00:14:47,938 --> 00:14:49,148
_
368
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,570
_
369
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:54,070
- Fuck! More forest!
- L-Look around!
370
00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:55,696
_
371
00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:57,599
_
372
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,650
Try heading north.
373
00:14:58,670 --> 00:14:59,690
_
374
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,210
_
375
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:02,609
_
376
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,909
- Oh, shit.
- Wait, what the fuck?
377
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:05,950
Um, maybe keep heading north?
378
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:07,410
_
379
00:15:07,430 --> 00:15:09,770
_
380
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,829
_
381
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:13,210
- Ew, what the hell?
- Oh, God,
382
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:14,965
w-what happens in the shadows?
383
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:18,340
Jerry, sweetie, if you can
hear me, please unroll.
384
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,690
He doesn't want to.
385
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,847
It's a little late to worry
about what he wants.
386
00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,630
Jesus, Beth, don't fall for this.
387
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:25,142
This isn't love, it's a tantrum.
388
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:27,450
Yeah, but his tantrum
is self-destructive.
389
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,950
Yours is destructive.
390
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,730
Maybe that's why I'm
the one that loves him.
391
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:32,570
He worries. He wants to do right.
392
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,430
He's ashamed when he fails.
393
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,490
Aren't those things you love about me?
394
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:38,830
You want me to be like him?
You want me to propose?
395
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,250
Threaten to kill myself?
396
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,290
No. I love you the way you are.
397
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:45,719
And I did it forever in a video game.
But in life, things go wrong.
398
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:46,729
Things stop working.
399
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,610
I-I like to fix those things,
and when I can't,
400
00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,730
I'm pretty useless.
401
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:50,830
Like my husband.
402
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,850
I don't get it. You're the house
wife and I'm the space lady,
403
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,990
but you're the one that chewed
me up and spit me out.
404
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,190
I don't want to just forget about you.
405
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:02,130
Me neither. It's a problem.
406
00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:05,098
But we know someone
that owes us a solution.
407
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,180
Oh, shit, we're out of the forest.
408
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,649
- We found a clearing.
- Go check it out!
409
00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:10,062
Go check out the clearing!
410
00:16:10,063 --> 00:16:11,355
_
411
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,410
_
412
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,009
_
413
00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:17,690
Vampires?! Oh, come on!
That's not realistic!
414
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,150
Morty, it's obviously set in a world
415
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,889
- where vampires hunt in clearings.
- How did you...
416
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:22,949
I'm working with the
same information you are!
417
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:24,220
- Ow!
- No more screen time
418
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,910
until your homework's done, Dad.
419
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,670
- What did that mean?
- We refuse to care.
420
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,090
Damn. You really came of
age this Thanksgiving.
421
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:32,170
How old are we?
422
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:34,086
We've had a million Thanksgivings.
423
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,830
Can I explain how irrational this is?
424
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,870
Asked the guy that cloned his daughter.
425
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:40,092
- Will I ever live that down?
- No.
426
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,609
You guys are having me
"Eternal Sunshine"
427
00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:43,690
all the "Multiplicity" porn
scenes from your minds?
428
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:44,969
- Yep. Basically.
- Sounds right.
429
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,410
Meanwhile, everyone around you...
430
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,990
your father, your cuckhold husband,
431
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:51,330
your jaded children... will just happily
and silently bear the burden
432
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,399
because it's more practical
for them than the truth
433
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,349
and you don't care because
it won't be your problem?
434
00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:56,450
Solid repipe, Dad.
435
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,030
It's like he has a lifetime of
experience as a selfish ass.
436
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,740
_
437
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,499
When this fails and the two
of you fall in love again
438
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,190
and you attack me for
taking part in this,
439
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,349
I'm gonna lie and say I tried
to talk you out of it for hours.
440
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:10,590
In truth, I don't care.
441
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,416
- Three, two...
- Oh, for God's sakes,
442
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,670
all of you, grow up.
443
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:14,909
- Jerry! You unrolled!
- What the hell?!
444
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,709
Ooh, plot twist, Deus Ex Husbanda.
445
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:19,381
Oh, don't lobotomize
yourselves for my comfort.
446
00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,340
I may be a man, but I'm also a baby,
447
00:17:21,365 --> 00:17:24,180
and babies don't take responsibility
for other people's suffering.
448
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,620
I should never have said
I'd kill myself if you left me.
449
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,249
It's not true. All I'd do
is pack my shit and cry
450
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,269
while I look for a job
on Starbucks Wi-Fi.
451
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:32,770
And that's what I'm gonna do.
452
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,810
So the two of you can
get clone lesbian married
453
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,510
by a robot and finger
yourselves on the moon
454
00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:41,790
while laughing in Martian French
about my weird little dick!
455
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,071
Jerry, wait!
456
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:49,770
Jerry, don't leave angry.
457
00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:52,390
Should I float out on a lotus leaf?
458
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:53,950
I have to be twice as confident
459
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,050
because my wife cheated
on me with herself?
460
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,370
It's not even cheating.
461
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,004
Oh, you here to help? You suck.
462
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,010
You don't even know which
one is your real wife.
463
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:03,310
If it's me, have you been
cheating with a clone?
464
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,135
I'm not the clone, but she has a point.
465
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,870
Oh, what a provocative conversation
it would've been great to have
466
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,380
before the two of you...
467
00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:10,990
and I am counting two...
468
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,650
gave each other unfairly expert orgasms
469
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,395
while mocking my weird little dick!
470
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,629
Jerry, you're the only one who
keeps saying "weird" and "little."
471
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,750
Well, you've both seen it!
472
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:19,909
And you've both seen each other,
473
00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:21,610
and now you want to
tell me all about it,
474
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,630
but it's a little late.
475
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,910
Oh, my God.
476
00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:25,409
You're not mad that it was about you.
477
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:26,930
You're mad that it wasn't.
478
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,130
He wanted to permit our love.
479
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,180
Okay, it's not "Handmaid's Tale"
to loop in your husband.
480
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,849
I agree, for the record.
We made a mistake.
481
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:36,610
Oh, because we should've noticed
ourselves losing control
482
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:40,310
and gone to Sexmaster Jerry and
said, "Oh, pretty please, Jerry,
483
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,881
- can I make out with myself?"
- Yes, you may.
484
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:47,010
Yeah, see. Not so hot when it's
aboveboard, home-wreckers.
485
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,810
Oh, so we won't enjoy this?
486
00:18:48,830 --> 00:18:50,550
Well, hold on, hold on, this is weird.
487
00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:51,973
Weird and permitted.
488
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:54,290
- Wait, you like this?
- Who cares what he likes.
489
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,010
- I do.
- I might like it.
490
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,896
And if she likes it, I permit it.
491
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,110
- You little pervert.
- You like a little pervert.
492
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,230
I like humiliating a little pervert.
493
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,970
I approve. Carry on.
494
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:06,400
I'm freaked out by how hot this is.
495
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,170
Am I permitted to do this?
496
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,700
Until further notice.
497
00:19:09,710 --> 00:19:11,830
- I love it.
- Then it's permitted from now on.
498
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,910
Oh, because you like whatever she likes.
499
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,480
Because you're a worm.
500
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:17,080
I will allow that assessment.
501
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:18,930
- Pass the salt?
- I don't care what you allow.
502
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,059
- Damn it!
- What do you allow?
503
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:21,100
I allow this.
504
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,409
Well, then it's required.
505
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,959
I approve the requirement.
506
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,570
- You get over there.
- Good idea.
507
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,130
Oh, wow. Okay.
508
00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:28,760
- Uh, Honey?
- I'm fine if you are.
509
00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:32,430
- You're never fine, shut up.
- Okay, but... Whoa! Okay.
510
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,990
- This is not how I pictured this, but...
- I have zero complaints so far.
511
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,650
Because I know what you want.
512
00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,270
I do not disagree with that.
513
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,130
Can I make a pitch? What if we...
514
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,379
Are you serious?
515
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,210
Hey, is... is this making fun of me?
516
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,370
- Well, is that bad?
- I'll allow it.
517
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:51,749
Jesus Christ, you need to
fix the portal gun, Rick!
518
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,880
Morty, you asking makes
me want to do it less.
519
00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:55,180
Okay, uh, Thanksgiving!
520
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:56,950
L-L-Let's talk about Thanksgiving!
521
00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:59,790
Who's thankful for what?
Go, Summer, y-you first.
522
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:03,890
Um, I guess I'm thankful,
for like, water?
523
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,830
Perfect! Wonderful!
Morty, w-what about you?
524
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,330
F-F-Fucking... Are you
fucking kidding me?
525
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:10,730
Why? Why? Discovery Channel!
526
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,630
Discovery Channel, why?!
527
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,210
Okay. Just eat your food.
528
00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:15,930
Ea-Ea... Everyone eat the food.
529
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:18,710
Sorry, I'm... Is this? Ooh!
530
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,210
Well, bye, kids!
531
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,522
I'll keep an eye out for
my grandkid in space.
532
00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:25,480
Your what? Oh, right. "Naruto."
533
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,610
Thanks for visiting, Space Beth.
534
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,820
Well, seems like we all learned
a little lesson this weekend!
535
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,390
At least, I know I did.
536
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,498
Me, too, Jerry. Me, too.
537
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:57,250
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
538
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:25,640
Hello there, Jerry!
How can I help you today?
539
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,940
Howdy! Yeah, just,
uh... just here to hang!
540
00:21:28,950 --> 00:21:30,610
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
541
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:32,410
You can't come here by yourself.
542
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:34,380
Why not? It's just me in there!
543
00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:36,980
Well, not that this is
something you'd do,
544
00:21:36,990 --> 00:21:39,320
but sometimes we have Jerries come here
545
00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:41,510
and try to touch other Jerries.
546
00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:43,820
Oh, no, that's... that's not good.
547
00:21:43,830 --> 00:21:45,897
Uh, well, see you later!
548
00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:53,610
Okay. Thank you.