1
00:00:07,236 --> 00:00:08,770
Previously, on "Rick and Morty"...
2
00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:10,691
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
3
00:00:10,699 --> 00:00:13,502
- Ohhh!
- I did it! I fixed portal travel!
4
00:00:13,522 --> 00:00:15,734
Jack the Ripper, at your service.
5
00:00:15,744 --> 00:00:17,450
- Cool!
- This happened too?
6
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:20,335
- I'm pregnant.
- Honey, she's just like you!
7
00:00:20,339 --> 00:00:22,256
- It's raining meatballs!
- Okay, something is...
8
00:00:22,257 --> 00:00:24,633
Jerry Smith died doing what he loved...
9
00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:26,715
- getting stung by bees.
- Off.
10
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,417
Off what? Have some respect.
11
00:00:28,427 --> 00:00:29,688
It's Dad's funeral.
12
00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,600
I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr.
13
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,302
Thanks for solving that murder, guys.
14
00:00:33,312 --> 00:00:35,122
- Here's a skateboard.
- Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk!
15
00:00:35,123 --> 00:00:36,364
- Morty, say you'll marry me!
- What?
16
00:00:36,365 --> 00:00:37,406
- What?
- Just say yes!
17
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:38,967
- Yes?
- Okay...
18
00:00:38,987 --> 00:00:40,309
Rick, do you promise to...
19
00:00:40,319 --> 00:00:42,290
I do, and for our honeymoon
let's go to a sealed chamber
20
00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:44,175
- lined with ionized deuterium!
- Why?
21
00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:46,195
Because the charge acts
as a narrative decelerant.
22
00:00:46,215 --> 00:00:47,456
Morty, none of this is real.
23
00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:49,738
We're in a "previously on"
spiral. Clear your head.
24
00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:51,564
- After all that's happened?!
- No.
25
00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:52,581
I-I'm innocent!
26
00:00:52,591 --> 00:00:53,982
I didn't release those bees!
27
00:00:54,002 --> 00:00:55,070
I love Jerry!
28
00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:56,765
- What'd I just say?
- When?
29
00:00:56,785 --> 00:00:57,885
Okay, great execution.
30
00:00:57,886 --> 00:00:59,455
Let's go back to the chamber.
31
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:02,291
Now repeat after me, Morty...
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
32
00:01:02,301 --> 00:01:03,992
Next time on "Rick and Morty"?
33
00:01:04,002 --> 00:01:06,054
No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"...
34
00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:08,457
Ignore it, Morty. "Next
time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
35
00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:09,638
It counteracts his toxins.
36
00:01:09,658 --> 00:01:10,979
Next time on "Rick and Morty."
37
00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:13,149
- Whose toxins?
- Hey, stop it!
38
00:01:13,152 --> 00:01:14,693
Previous Leon! Grab him!
39
00:01:15,744 --> 00:01:18,206
Hold on tight, Morty! We got to
get through the opening titles!
40
00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:19,870
Opening titles of what?
41
00:01:19,878 --> 00:01:22,029
- Whoa! We're in space!
- Let go of me! Ow! Ow!
42
00:01:24,763 --> 00:01:26,384
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
43
00:01:29,117 --> 00:01:30,739
What planet is this?
44
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:31,930
Cover your eyes on this part.
45
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:34,107
Oh, my God, it's a giant squirrel!
46
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:36,612
Why are we dressed
like old-timey people?
47
00:01:36,615 --> 00:01:38,908
- What the hell's going on?
- No way!
48
00:01:40,108 --> 00:01:41,581
Why is my dad in a suit?
49
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:43,732
- Best episode!
- Why am I butter?
50
00:01:43,752 --> 00:01:45,103
Okay, we're almost through.
51
00:01:45,113 --> 00:01:46,675
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
52
00:01:48,157 --> 00:01:49,348
Ow!
53
00:01:51,730 --> 00:01:53,662
Ugh, and we're back!
54
00:01:53,672 --> 00:01:54,773
Stop!
55
00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:56,245
- What just happened?
- Let go of me!
56
00:01:56,255 --> 00:01:57,306
Why was there music?
57
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,529
Because of this conceptual
little piece of shit!
58
00:02:00,549 --> 00:02:02,731
- Grab his feet!
- If we have opening titles,
59
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,363
d-does that mean that we're a...
60
00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:06,515
Let your body purge the
meta-venom, Morty.
61
00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:08,426
Don't succumb to his pointless
self-aware bullshit.
62
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,758
It's not pointless, it's cool!
63
00:02:10,679 --> 00:02:12,541
- He's got a gun!
- Eat lead, pussy!
64
00:02:14,563 --> 00:02:15,774
No, no, no!
65
00:02:15,784 --> 00:02:16,901
Fuck!
66
00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:18,327
Oh!
67
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:20,449
Son of a...
68
00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:21,880
- Did he use a portal?
- He wishes.
69
00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,312
He wriggled back to the meta layer
70
00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:24,512
through a hole in the fourth wall.
71
00:02:24,513 --> 00:02:26,094
Put these on and help me find it.
72
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:29,587
- _
- I-I don't like this, Rick.
73
00:02:29,588 --> 00:02:31,720
Yeah, you shouldn't.
It's not a likable premise.
74
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,152
I mean it's funny when I do a
little nod to the viewers, but...
75
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,194
- What viewers?!
- That's the right attitude, Morty.
76
00:02:36,195 --> 00:02:38,557
A few carefree verbal
asides, always by me.
77
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,769
None of this season-three
"Moonlighting" shit.
78
00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:42,800
- Okay, here it is.
- You're going to... to patch it?
79
00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:44,933
No, he subverted actual reality, Morty.
80
00:02:44,953 --> 00:02:47,156
He needs to be put down
like a rabid dog.
81
00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:57,005
Ow! Fuck!
82
00:02:57,025 --> 00:02:59,067
Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna
wear those over here.
83
00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,668
_
84
00:03:00,669 --> 00:03:02,161
Maybe he went down that road?
85
00:03:02,171 --> 00:03:04,051
No, no, no. If he took that,
he'd end up a hero.
86
00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,834
Damn it, Rick. I don't like this.
87
00:03:05,844 --> 00:03:07,065
I-Is this whole place just...
88
00:03:07,075 --> 00:03:08,537
A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay
89
00:03:08,557 --> 00:03:10,659
for seven TV critics that
won't even enjoy it?
90
00:03:10,679 --> 00:03:11,939
It's worse than you think, Morty.
91
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:13,765
We're basting in meta
radiation right now.
92
00:03:13,772 --> 00:03:15,684
Our credibility is being
permanently eroded.
93
00:03:15,694 --> 00:03:16,865
Every second we spend here
94
00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:19,007
is the equivalent to 10
"Space Jam" cameos.
95
00:03:19,027 --> 00:03:21,180
You should have thought
of that... previously!
96
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:22,201
Get him!
97
00:03:24,753 --> 00:03:25,994
Ow! Ow!
98
00:03:28,036 --> 00:03:30,809
Oh, no! Bless me, Heavenly
Father, for you will save me.
99
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,891
Now I feel bad. Let's
just get out of here.
100
00:03:32,901 --> 00:03:33,922
Because he prays?
101
00:03:33,932 --> 00:03:35,644
You know Hitler was Catholic, right?
102
00:03:36,352 --> 00:03:37,479
I'm here, Leon.
103
00:03:37,486 --> 00:03:38,587
- Uhh...
- Okay.
104
00:03:38,607 --> 00:03:40,809
He apparently prays very well.
105
00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,731
Time for you two to meet the Lord.
106
00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,762
That's okay, we're good.
Treat it like a bear attack.
107
00:03:44,763 --> 00:03:47,186
Just walk backwards and
make yourself look big.
108
00:03:47,196 --> 00:03:50,139
I love a good refusal of the call.
109
00:03:50,159 --> 00:03:51,920
Hello, Rick.
110
00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,962
Hello... Amish Juggler?
111
00:03:53,982 --> 00:03:55,824
His name is Story Lord.
112
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,561
Story... Lord?
113
00:03:57,566 --> 00:03:59,268
Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler.
114
00:03:59,288 --> 00:04:00,889
- You can have it.
- Story Lord.
115
00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:03,352
Rick, h-he's the villain from
that toy train I bought you.
116
00:04:03,372 --> 00:04:05,434
Very good, Morty.
The fictional versions of you
117
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,356
trapped me in a Bible show for children,
118
00:04:07,376 --> 00:04:08,817
but I used make-believe Christ
119
00:04:08,837 --> 00:04:11,800
to transcend fiction
and enter meta-reality.
120
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:14,363
Now I'm the one doing the trapping.
121
00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:15,904
Leon was the bait.
122
00:04:15,924 --> 00:04:17,276
- Bait?!
- Jesus?
123
00:04:17,286 --> 00:04:19,103
Aaah!
124
00:04:19,107 --> 00:04:20,379
Aah!
125
00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:23,342
Don't ever...! Dumb mother...!
126
00:04:26,635 --> 00:04:28,116
You're using Jesus to beat us up?
127
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,599
- Have you seen "South Park"?
- Good call-out, Morty.
128
00:04:30,609 --> 00:04:32,171
That's the kind of meta I like,
129
00:04:32,181 --> 00:04:34,383
the kind that keeps us
creatively accountable.
130
00:04:34,393 --> 00:04:36,705
Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane!
131
00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:40,939
He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me.
132
00:04:42,391 --> 00:04:43,891
Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm... I'm...
133
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,406
I'm technically a Christian child!
134
00:04:45,414 --> 00:04:47,546
And I'm your worst nightmare.
135
00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:49,818
I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke.
136
00:04:49,838 --> 00:04:53,422
- The one without a God.
- Morty! Take this and get out!
137
00:04:53,432 --> 00:04:54,963
Thank you.
138
00:04:54,983 --> 00:04:57,516
Looks like Story Lord's
story is about to become...
139
00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:59,184
based on real events.
140
00:04:59,188 --> 00:05:00,238
What do you want with that?
141
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:02,190
I want what any character wants.
142
00:05:02,191 --> 00:05:03,484
Motivation!
143
00:05:03,492 --> 00:05:05,989
- What? That's dumb.
- So lazy!
144
00:05:05,994 --> 00:05:07,936
Forward your notes to my ass!
145
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:11,550
Wait, what? He just left.
146
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,082
Kind of makes you want to
be our unlikely ally, huh?
147
00:05:14,102 --> 00:05:15,144
Oh, I guess not.
148
00:05:17,366 --> 00:05:19,838
Previously, on Jesus Christ...
149
00:05:20,429 --> 00:05:21,970
- Hey, I'm Jesus.
- I'm Mary.
150
00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:23,983
- That's my mom's name!
- Stop.
151
00:05:23,992 --> 00:05:26,735
- Dude, she's a hooker.
- She's a better disciple than you!
152
00:05:27,256 --> 00:05:30,118
Ow! Aw! Owww!
153
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,100
Oh, no.
154
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:34,713
I can't die.
155
00:05:34,723 --> 00:05:37,136
I 'ave a proposition for you.
156
00:05:37,146 --> 00:05:38,637
I work alone.
157
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,953
If I suck-a your blood,
I'll be invincible! I think!
158
00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:46,775
- You'll never know.
- Aah!
159
00:05:46,785 --> 00:05:49,578
Billionaire immortal
entrepreneur Jesus Christ
160
00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:50,969
has placed all his money
161
00:05:50,989 --> 00:05:53,872
into what he's calling a
"second chance at love."
162
00:05:53,882 --> 00:05:56,424
- Hang on, Mary!
- The data!
163
00:05:56,425 --> 00:05:58,427
So beautiful!
164
00:05:58,437 --> 00:06:01,141
Make me normal, witch.
165
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,564
Take it all!
166
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,515
Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ.
167
00:06:06,535 --> 00:06:08,447
What are you smiling at?
168
00:06:08,457 --> 00:06:10,243
Your name.
169
00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:13,942
What's happening, Rick?
170
00:06:13,952 --> 00:06:16,544
Leon's venom makes you think more
and more of your life is behind you
171
00:06:16,545 --> 00:06:18,647
as he feeds on your released potential.
172
00:06:20,058 --> 00:06:21,807
Leon, y-you saved our lives!
173
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:23,912
- Oh, not yet, he hasn't.
- Jeez, Rick!
174
00:06:23,932 --> 00:06:25,093
- So mean!
- He's meta, Morty.
175
00:06:25,113 --> 00:06:26,233
His life doesn't matter.
176
00:06:26,235 --> 00:06:28,612
Yours does. That's why
we need to get back.
177
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:31,489
- _
- Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel.
178
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:32,954
_
179
00:06:32,961 --> 00:06:35,668
Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside.
180
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,687
This isn't what it looks like.
181
00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:41,790
This is a very special diet
for successful writers.
182
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:43,212
Why do you look like my character?
183
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,653
I am your character!
184
00:06:44,673 --> 00:06:46,982
And you are going to improve me.
185
00:06:46,985 --> 00:06:48,736
But you're Story Lord. You're great.
186
00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,509
Great isn't good enough!
187
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:53,202
I've killed Rick and made myself real!
188
00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:55,904
I'm better than some shitty toy train.
189
00:06:55,924 --> 00:06:57,826
Is this your office or your apartment?
190
00:06:57,846 --> 00:06:59,748
Why does it smell like you sleep here?
191
00:06:59,768 --> 00:07:01,950
You're my creator. Why are you pathetic?
192
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:04,263
- Because you failed!
- And whose fault is that?
193
00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:05,394
What the hell happened?
194
00:07:05,404 --> 00:07:07,456
You want to know what
happened? Like, specifically?
195
00:07:07,476 --> 00:07:10,279
Well, the Ricks wanted to do a
"Canterbury Tales"-type thing,
196
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,520
but none of them have actually
read fucking "Canterbury Tales."
197
00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:14,602
So then they told me to make
it like the poker-game episode
198
00:07:14,603 --> 00:07:15,684
of the Batman cartoon
199
00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:17,666
where the bad guys tell
stories about Batman.
200
00:07:17,686 --> 00:07:19,798
Then they kept telling me
it "needed something."
201
00:07:19,808 --> 00:07:21,650
Yeah, no shit, it needed something!
202
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,572
It needed to never be pitched!
203
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:24,843
I did my job!
204
00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:27,446
Goomby, the Ice Queen,
the Tickets Please guy.
205
00:07:27,456 --> 00:07:28,577
They just bailed on it!
206
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,239
The website didn't even fucking work!
207
00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:32,020
And it was a shitty URL to begin with,
208
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,204
"Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash?
209
00:07:35,224 --> 00:07:37,406
They set me up to fail. They fucked me!
210
00:07:37,426 --> 00:07:40,339
They fucked me and you're lucky
I haven't blown my brains out!
211
00:07:40,349 --> 00:07:43,132
Right. Just give me a
motivation, you hacky fart.
212
00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,553
Okay, here's your motivation.
213
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,375
You're looking for motivation.
214
00:07:46,395 --> 00:07:48,527
You want all the motivation.
215
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,776
- That's lazy.
- It got you this far.
216
00:07:50,779 --> 00:07:51,980
Must be nice, by the way.
217
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:54,453
Wish I could afford to dress
like a bisexual acting coach
218
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:55,644
from the '70s.
219
00:07:55,664 --> 00:07:58,747
My motivation... is motivation.
220
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,254
Okay. Bye.
221
00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:03,802
Oh, no, my bitter friend.
You're coming with me.
222
00:08:05,804 --> 00:08:08,717
Yo! If you don't see me coming,
it's a bad fortress!
223
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:13,552
- Where are we?
- Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six.
224
00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:15,733
They're meta nerds that found
out they could be less bearable
225
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:17,276
- as a team.
- They can help us?
226
00:08:17,286 --> 00:08:19,227
No, but there's a prisoner
here that can. Shh.
227
00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:21,529
- Don't tell them that.
- Rick Sanchez.
228
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:24,092
I've been waiting for
this moment for years.
229
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:27,183
Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss... Lead.
230
00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:29,508
I should kill you where you stand.
231
00:08:29,518 --> 00:08:30,528
_
232
00:08:30,529 --> 00:08:31,920
I brought you Previous Leon.
233
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,881
You'll want to lock him up
in your detention center.
234
00:08:33,882 --> 00:08:35,664
It's a trick! He wants your prisoner!
235
00:08:35,684 --> 00:08:37,166
- You dick.
- Liar!
236
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:38,387
Talk about a mislead.
237
00:08:38,407 --> 00:08:40,709
- Anti-meta field.
- Fancy device.
238
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,152
I think I can recall
the time you built it.
239
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,759
Don't try it, Flash Back!
240
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:45,764
_
241
00:08:46,925 --> 00:08:49,208
You know, I-I'm excited
about the upcoming election.
242
00:08:49,218 --> 00:08:51,880
This forcefield will be
impenetrable by meta-energy.
243
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,502
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
244
00:08:53,522 --> 00:08:55,239
Hmmm.
245
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,646
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
246
00:08:57,666 --> 00:09:00,339
A few barrels of petroleum
should dampen it.
247
00:09:00,349 --> 00:09:01,750
Run, Morty!
248
00:09:02,721 --> 00:09:04,453
Were those not there before?
249
00:09:04,473 --> 00:09:07,094
Guess there's been a...
Connie TinuityError.
250
00:09:07,095 --> 00:09:08,106
_
251
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,811
- These people are the worst!
- I told you! Way overpowered!
252
00:09:13,402 --> 00:09:15,934
- Look out, Rick!
- Forget him. He's a nameless guard.
253
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:18,417
That's Protago Nick.
254
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,998
His beam has the power to make
any character the protagonist.
255
00:09:21,009 --> 00:09:22,124
_
256
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,754
D-Duck!
257
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,215
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
258
00:09:26,225 --> 00:09:28,036
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
259
00:09:28,056 --> 00:09:30,098
Gah! What are you doing, Marvin?!
260
00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:32,531
Not dying, that's what I'm doing.
261
00:09:32,541 --> 00:09:35,204
Oh, what's going on? What happened?
262
00:09:35,214 --> 00:09:37,876
I did it again, Katie.
I ran out on another job.
263
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:40,909
Well, if you didn't do that,
you wouldn't be my man.
264
00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:44,363
_
265
00:09:49,057 --> 00:09:50,683
_
266
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:58,717
I was almost tempted to just let it go.
267
00:09:58,727 --> 00:10:00,629
- That's how much I hate it here.
- Smash cut!
268
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:03,101
Remember me, Rick?
269
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:05,614
- Who's this guy, now?
- I am Mr. Twist.
270
00:10:05,629 --> 00:10:06,631
_
271
00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:09,037
The fifth member of the
Self-Referential Six.
272
00:10:09,057 --> 00:10:12,611
- Who's the sixth?
- That's the twist, Morty. It's you.
273
00:10:12,621 --> 00:10:13,691
- What?
- Ignore him, Morty.
274
00:10:13,692 --> 00:10:15,223
The twist is there's no sixth member
275
00:10:15,224 --> 00:10:17,986
- and he tells that to everybody.
- In any case, you're ours now.
276
00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:19,928
You can't free yourself without a twist,
277
00:10:19,948 --> 00:10:23,452
- and I control them.
- You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist.
278
00:10:23,472 --> 00:10:26,275
- I've got a twist for you.
- Impossible! What is it?
279
00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:27,298
- Aah!
- Aha!
280
00:10:27,306 --> 00:10:30,279
Nice try! Like I didn't see that coming.
281
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,142
Fuck me.
282
00:10:34,523 --> 00:10:36,483
- Great work, Morty!
- I'm adapting!
283
00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:37,860
Here's our ticket out of here.
284
00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:39,267
They got him in a cell
made out of sports
285
00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:40,749
because it's the opposite of story.
286
00:10:40,769 --> 00:10:42,301
Do I want to ask who he is?
287
00:10:42,311 --> 00:10:43,732
His name is Brett Caan.
288
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:46,455
He has the power to make things
always have been other things.
289
00:10:46,475 --> 00:10:47,976
I think that's called retconning.
290
00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:49,258
B-But his name's Brett Caan?
291
00:10:49,268 --> 00:10:52,080
I mean, Rhett's a name too.
His name could be Rhett Caan.
292
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,123
It is. And always has been... now.
293
00:10:55,144 --> 00:10:56,525
- Whoa.
- Careful, Morty.
294
00:10:56,545 --> 00:10:57,956
Stay clear of his retcon range.
295
00:10:57,966 --> 00:10:59,268
Until he agrees to help us.
296
00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:01,658
Rick, you've always trusted me.
297
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,692
Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work.
298
00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:06,054
You're gonna make it so Morty
and I never came here.
299
00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:07,555
Once that's always been the case,
300
00:11:07,556 --> 00:11:10,719
- I'll free you remotely with this.
- What is my purpose?
301
00:11:10,729 --> 00:11:12,541
To wait until I tell you
to pull that lever.
302
00:11:12,561 --> 00:11:13,974
You are fucking kidding me.
303
00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:15,784
If you don't free me right now, Rick,
304
00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:19,438
I can make very, very bad things
always have been the case for you.
305
00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,609
Is that a threat, you fuck?
306
00:11:20,619 --> 00:11:22,691
- Y-Y-You can rot in there.
- Rick.
307
00:11:23,492 --> 00:11:24,962
You know what, Rhett?
Forget what I said.
308
00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:26,415
We've always been friends.
309
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:27,826
Good one.
310
00:11:27,836 --> 00:11:29,158
Whoa, easy, Rhett.
311
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:31,630
Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you.
312
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,773
You always were able to
be killed with coffee.
313
00:11:34,783 --> 00:11:37,229
Aaah!
314
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:38,977
New plan. Run. Again.
315
00:11:38,987 --> 00:11:41,320
The twist being...
316
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,352
You were born without bones.
317
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:45,594
See ya never!
318
00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:49,508
There's never been anything
outside this fortress.
319
00:11:49,528 --> 00:11:50,539
God damn it!
320
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:55,464
And this fortress has
always been an orange!
321
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,288
Pluh! Great plan, Rick!
322
00:11:59,298 --> 00:12:00,718
Yeah, I'm not pushing
back on that, Morty,
323
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,641
I have royally fucked us.
324
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:05,874
Ugh! It hurts.
325
00:12:05,894 --> 00:12:07,726
We've been past the
fourth wall too long.
326
00:12:07,736 --> 00:12:10,719
- We won't be real much longer.
- You killed us, Rick.
327
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:13,962
You just had to hate meta storytelling.
328
00:12:13,972 --> 00:12:15,184
In my defense, Morty,
329
00:12:15,204 --> 00:12:18,487
I think you can agree my
hate was justified. Ohh!
330
00:12:18,507 --> 00:12:23,982
Least... earned... death... ever...
331
00:12:27,376 --> 00:12:29,618
Death is a threshold.
332
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,885
Ugh! What... What happened?
333
00:12:36,905 --> 00:12:37,933
You atoned.
334
00:12:37,936 --> 00:12:39,395
Who... Who are you?
335
00:12:39,396 --> 00:12:41,850
I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup?
336
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:45,194
I almost considered not making it
because my name is Campbell,
337
00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:47,236
but then I thought, stay
in the moment, Joe.
338
00:12:47,246 --> 00:12:49,398
- Follow your bliss.
- How are you here?
339
00:12:49,408 --> 00:12:51,294
R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing.
340
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,562
Some things never change
about mythology.
341
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:55,704
There's always an old man with soup.
342
00:12:55,714 --> 00:12:58,387
Name one story that doesn't have one.
343
00:12:58,397 --> 00:13:00,117
- Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk.
- "Basketball Diaries."
344
00:13:00,118 --> 00:13:01,810
- Every "Matrix."
- Every movie ever.
345
00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:03,901
All right, I don't have to
defend myself to you people.
346
00:13:03,902 --> 00:13:05,314
Where's my soup?
347
00:13:05,324 --> 00:13:07,534
Previous Fuckin' Leon.
348
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,717
Why is that prick here?
349
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:11,200
No more a prick than you, friend.
350
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:13,542
Meta characters erode reality.
351
00:13:13,562 --> 00:13:15,684
But all characters are meta, Rick.
352
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:18,807
All of us are nourished
and consumed by chaos,
353
00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:21,170
like newborns at the
breast of a meth addict
354
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:24,603
- in a lifeboat filled with forks.
- I know what you have to do, Rick.
355
00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:26,295
Scrub Campbell's browser history?
356
00:13:26,315 --> 00:13:28,307
Just trust Previous Leon.
357
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,414
Could you previously us a way home?
358
00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:33,722
Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying.
359
00:13:33,742 --> 00:13:34,783
Yeah, I bet you would.
360
00:13:34,793 --> 00:13:36,655
Rick can't change, Morty.
361
00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:39,388
Change is what you might
call his Kryptonite.
362
00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:41,130
Except instead of being super,
363
00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,732
he's, you know, kind of a pussy.
364
00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:44,893
Let's do it.
365
00:13:46,455 --> 00:13:48,317
Previously, on Rick...
366
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,777
Get him off! Get him off!
367
00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:51,162
Oh, boy.
368
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:54,213
- He almost killed you!
- Okay, well, I feel bad,
369
00:13:54,223 --> 00:13:56,034
I kind of pressured
you into trying that.
370
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,511
- You called me a pussy.
- I said I feel bad!
371
00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:03,091
This is a map to a region
rich in narrative ore.
372
00:14:03,111 --> 00:14:04,593
I wish you the best of luck.
373
00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:05,814
Faster, Morty! I'd help,
374
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,738
but I can't blister my inventing hands.
375
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:09,158
- How long will it take?
- Years.
376
00:14:09,168 --> 00:14:10,669
You can live in my wood shed.
377
00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,205
- Just don't open the door after dark.
- Why not?
378
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:15,323
Get out here, you Communist Jews!
379
00:14:15,324 --> 00:14:17,956
- Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
- I know, right?
380
00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,339
You fucking "Back to
the Future" rip-offs!
381
00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:22,911
- It's ready.
- Rick, I should stay.
382
00:14:22,921 --> 00:14:24,432
- Why?
- I'm pregnant.
383
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,613
- What are you doing?
- It wasn't him, Rick!
384
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:28,157
- Then who?!
- Me! I never left.
385
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,867
But you had to think all this
happened to make that.
386
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,454
And I can get this through the titles?
387
00:14:32,461 --> 00:14:33,957
If you hang on tight.
388
00:14:33,962 --> 00:14:35,836
What about my beard and unborn child?
389
00:14:35,844 --> 00:14:37,088
Let them go.
390
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:39,107
- Thank you, Leon.
- When you get home, Rick,
391
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:40,889
do some classic adventures.
392
00:14:40,909 --> 00:14:43,030
- Like season one...
- I'm so sick of that fucking note.
393
00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:44,713
What the fuck does it even mean?
394
00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:51,740
Ohh!
395
00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:54,533
Now, one last time.
396
00:14:54,543 --> 00:14:56,885
- What's my motivation?
- Motivation.
397
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:59,717
This machine will siphon it
from everyone in the universe.
398
00:14:59,718 --> 00:15:01,550
Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it.
399
00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:08,237
Oh, I think it's working!
Yes, I can feel it!
400
00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:10,979
Something I did is actually
affecting someone!
401
00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:16,124
I don't want to work anymore.
402
00:15:16,145 --> 00:15:19,998
I do, but only as an excuse
to not practice guitar.
403
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:27,246
Why don't we just write any
number down on the score sheet?
404
00:15:27,256 --> 00:15:28,677
Oh, why even do that?
405
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:34,523
- _
- Wait, you have to register?
406
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:39,368
Yes! I can feel it! I'm so motivated!
407
00:15:39,378 --> 00:15:42,100
I want... a lot!
408
00:15:43,832 --> 00:15:46,894
- Story time's over.
- Ha! Hardly your decision.
409
00:15:46,895 --> 00:15:50,277
Did you seriously double down on
motivation as your motivation?
410
00:15:50,279 --> 00:15:52,461
- It's a good idea!
- There's no such thing!
411
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:53,841
There's joyful and there's joyless,
412
00:15:53,842 --> 00:15:55,103
and we've had our fill of one.
413
00:15:55,123 --> 00:15:56,985
Morty, make that sweaty
writer stop working
414
00:15:56,995 --> 00:15:59,336
while I kill off his character.
415
00:15:59,338 --> 00:16:03,303
I have never been more
driven to destroy someone.
416
00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:04,862
Yeah, well, I'm driven to
lower my blood sugar,
417
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:07,394
but guess who's getting tacos
after he kicks your ass?
418
00:16:08,607 --> 00:16:10,199
So you're jacked. Who cares?
419
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,432
- Cum gutters.
- I don't like that phrase.
420
00:16:13,452 --> 00:16:14,658
I don't take notes.
421
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,270
You can't beat me, Rick.
422
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:24,022
I have one million
times your motivation!
423
00:16:24,032 --> 00:16:26,557
So do those guys with the
cellphone kiosks at the mall.
424
00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:53,692
The hair is wrong.
425
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:55,615
Like you'd be picky about licensing.
426
00:16:55,624 --> 00:16:57,953
Actually, I would.
I happen to believe that...
427
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:06,721
- You can do that?
- You got to want it.
428
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,938
Come on, just stop.
I-I don't want to fight you.
429
00:17:09,948 --> 00:17:12,541
Kid, I'm a writer that wrote
something successful.
430
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:13,671
So if you want me to give it up,
431
00:17:13,672 --> 00:17:14,712
you're gonna need a black belt
432
00:17:14,713 --> 00:17:17,005
- or a big pair of tits.
- Yeah, well, I don't have those.
433
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:19,438
In the mythical sense, I have both.
434
00:17:19,448 --> 00:17:20,489
Joseph Campbell?
435
00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:22,377
Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s.
436
00:17:22,381 --> 00:17:24,593
Only you can see and hear me, Morty.
437
00:17:24,603 --> 00:17:27,011
- Just repeat what I tell you.
- Okay.
438
00:17:28,086 --> 00:17:30,929
Sir, you're only proud of
your creation's success
439
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,681
because you want to be creative,
440
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,763
but creation doesn't happen
through gimmicks,
441
00:17:34,773 --> 00:17:36,238
technology, and distribution.
442
00:17:36,245 --> 00:17:38,106
It doesn't even happen through work.
443
00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:40,649
Creativity is frankly adjacent
to mental illness
444
00:17:40,669 --> 00:17:42,334
and overlaps with it substantially.
445
00:17:42,341 --> 00:17:44,193
A lot of talented people kill themselves
446
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:45,632
and all of them are miserable.
447
00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:48,217
The real gift is to be ungifted,
448
00:17:48,237 --> 00:17:50,719
and from what I saw in your
Green Arrow spec script,
449
00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:52,241
that's the gift you were given.
450
00:17:52,261 --> 00:17:53,862
You couldn't have seen that.
451
00:17:53,882 --> 00:17:55,804
I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it.
452
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:58,467
- The villain was a placeholder.
- I said I saw it, Jan.
453
00:17:58,487 --> 00:18:00,509
I didn't say I could get past page five.
454
00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:02,039
Y-Your villains aren't the problem.
455
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,772
The problem is, when you write,
456
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:04,813
you're a villain.
457
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:07,376
If you want to be a hero, just stop.
458
00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:16,360
You know what? Maybe I will register.
459
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,702
Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus!
460
00:18:22,961 --> 00:18:25,013
Oh, looks like your
writer took a hiatus.
461
00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:26,045
Oh, fuck.
462
00:18:26,054 --> 00:18:27,591
You're less motivated to fight now,
463
00:18:27,596 --> 00:18:30,263
so this is literally punching down,
but you've got it coming.
464
00:18:32,721 --> 00:18:34,683
Please, let me live.
465
00:18:34,703 --> 00:18:36,245
I promise to be cooler.
466
00:18:36,255 --> 00:18:40,450
I'll be less inside baseball.
Maybe I change my name? Ow!
467
00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,706
You failed me.
468
00:18:43,712 --> 00:18:46,629
No, I failed you.
469
00:18:47,976 --> 00:18:51,722
All good things must come to an end.
470
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,603
All bad things too, though,
so don't flatter yourself.
471
00:18:54,613 --> 00:18:57,666
Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have
to be the one to put him down.
472
00:18:57,686 --> 00:18:59,868
Wait, wait, wait, Joseph
Campbell also says
473
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,791
you have to use this brand-new
limited edition Rick plush,
474
00:19:02,811 --> 00:19:05,734
available only on rick-plush.biz.
475
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:07,876
- Supplies are limited. Act now.
- He did?
476
00:19:13,742 --> 00:19:14,963
Shhh.
477
00:19:20,449 --> 00:19:22,911
Jesus, that's the last time
I buy a toy from a Rick.
478
00:19:22,941 --> 00:19:25,373
Ooh, the plushies are
obviously well made.
479
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,521
Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick.
480
00:19:32,541 --> 00:19:34,823
Well, I am a master
of both worlds, Morty.
481
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:40,369
Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing.
482
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,619
Because it should be effortless.
483
00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:43,721
And when it happens organically,
that's when it's meant to be.
484
00:19:43,722 --> 00:19:45,734
You know, like, um, like me.
485
00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:48,056
I'm a writer, here's a pencil.
Writers use pencils.
486
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:49,637
Okay, so, like, what if,
like, a pencil used me?
487
00:19:49,638 --> 00:19:51,600
Like, um... okay! Yeah!
488
00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:53,562
Okay, so it's like a magic pencil
489
00:19:53,582 --> 00:19:55,244
that writes the writer's life...
490
00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:58,787
holy shit, it's a movie about a writer!
491
00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:00,068
I am back!
492
00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:05,984
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
493
00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:37,486
Yeah, I'm Tag-Man!
I-I-I-I live in the tag!
494
00:20:37,496 --> 00:20:40,389
I-I-I am the tag! I'm Tag-Man!
495
00:20:40,409 --> 00:20:43,069
Tag... Tag of the episode... man!
"Did you get any of that?"
496
00:20:43,071 --> 00:20:45,082
When the... yeah,
when an episode's over,
497
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:47,725
look out, because, yaaaah,
here comes Tag-Man!
498
00:20:47,726 --> 00:20:51,079
And I'm... I'm crazy! Tag-Man! Yeah!
499
00:20:51,099 --> 00:20:53,152
I'm... I'mma tag your ass!
500
00:20:53,162 --> 00:20:55,844
Tag that ass. Tag-Ass-Man!
501
00:20:55,864 --> 00:20:57,686
I'm an Ass-Man now!
502
00:20:57,696 --> 00:20:59,158
I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man!
503
00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:00,909
Here's what you get. Here's your tag!
504
00:21:00,929 --> 00:21:02,291
Yeah, you want some more?
505
00:21:02,311 --> 00:21:04,733
You want... you want some more
tag, you sick piece of shit?!
506
00:21:04,753 --> 00:21:06,655
I'm... because I'm Tag-Man!
507
00:21:07,576 --> 00:21:09,037
I miss my wife.
508
00:21:09,047 --> 00:21:10,925
Too bad. This is it!
509
00:21:10,929 --> 00:21:13,130
Tag-Man, yeah!
510
00:21:14,643 --> 00:21:16,136
Did you get any of that?