1
00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:13,600
H-Hey, Rick... uh, need
me for any adventures?
2
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,860
- Huh?
- Adventures? Remember those?
3
00:00:15,870 --> 00:00:17,840
Oh, y-yeah, not right now, Morty, uh,
4
00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,820
but d-definitely next week though.
5
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,580
You been saying that a while now, buddy,
6
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,260
so, I think I'm gonna
give you a little nudge
7
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,982
by cashing in a few of these bad boys.
8
00:00:26,990 --> 00:00:29,276
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're still
doing the punch card system?
9
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,290
Never stopped.
10
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,570
Bam! Read 'em and weep.
11
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,610
Fully punched cards, each entitling me
12
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,240
to an adventure of my choosing.
13
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:38,760
- I don't make the rules.
- Yeah, I do, you little gremlin,
14
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,610
and I definitely did
not stamp all these.
15
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,069
You never remember to stamp the cards.
16
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,529
- You're always drunk.
- I didn't know we were still doing this!
17
00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:47,252
T-This stinks to high heaven, Morty.
I'm not accepting these.
18
00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:48,409
I knew you were going to do this.
19
00:00:48,410 --> 00:00:50,160
So I got receipts, bitch.
20
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,740
- I k... I kept notes.
- This is gibberish.
21
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:54,430
"Isle of the Mortysaurs"?
22
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,719
"Takes One to Know One"?
23
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,310
I make up titles for each adventure.
24
00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,220
You did the same thing for that MS
readathon at your school, Morty,
25
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,769
- and you didn't read shit.
- It's okay to lie
26
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,319
when you're fighting Multiple Sclerosis!
27
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,320
Or when you think you won't get caught!
28
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:06,640
How are you going to "catch me"?
29
00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:08,850
Oh, you done and did it now, little man.
30
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,140
That's your ass.
Don't grift a grifter, Morty.
31
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,210
I got friends in cosmic places.
32
00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:14,238
Yeah, uh-huh.
33
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,050
I need an audit.
34
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,080
Oh, right, you were already watching.
35
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:20,180
- I'll come get you.
- Wha-Wh-What is this?
36
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:24,400
- I am The Observer!
- You're so busted.
37
00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:25,860
Look at your face, you're so fucked.
38
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,040
I observe all!
39
00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:29,700
They observe all, Morty.
40
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,040
- Cosmic all-seeing species.
- So?
41
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,420
So, they're basically
universal police body-cams,
42
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,509
but you can't turn them off
before you beat a minority.
43
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,960
Or in your case, before you
cook the adventure books!
44
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,840
- I don't do that!
- We gonna find out!
45
00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:44,184
Oh, I'm here for this!
46
00:02:11,795 --> 00:02:16,008
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
47
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,980
I bet a solid 70% of these are bullshit.
48
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,680
Oh, quit your bitchin' and do the audit.
49
00:02:20,690 --> 00:02:21,805
I-I got nothing to hide!
50
00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,980
All right, Observer,
gimme "Truth or Dare."
51
00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:25,450
Christ, these names, Morty.
52
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,780
- It's shorthand!
- I have observed it!
53
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,890
Now gaze upon me and so shall you...
54
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,460
Two attack patterns and a
giant glowing weak spot...
55
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:39,560
"Legend of Zelda" tutorial-ass bullshit.
56
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:40,789
I thought it was kind of fun.
57
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,430
Halt, unidentified adventurers.
58
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,246
We are the guardians of this sanctuary.
59
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,410
One of us tells only truths,
the other only lies.
60
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,752
You ever fucked this guy's wife?
61
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,940
Yes.
62
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,280
Well, how about that, he guessed right.
63
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,340
I forgive you!
64
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,551
- Oh, shit!
- All right, next room.
65
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,886
No, I wanna watch.
66
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,050
Did you see how one of them lied?
67
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,500
Fine, I'll call that one legit.
68
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,018
I'm not here to nitpick,
I'm here to find blatant fraud.
69
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,771
Okay, uh, show me "Late Night Western."
70
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,000
Morty, Morty, Morty, take me...
71
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,360
drive me... take me...
72
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:17,220
w-wan go western bacon.
73
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,920
M-Morty, western bacon now.
74
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:20,060
Ugh.
75
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,369
Ohoho, yeah.
76
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:27,621
- Before you say anything...
- I knew it! Busted!
77
00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:29,248
You're banned from that Carl's Jr.!
78
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,919
That doesn't make the
drive-thru an adventure, Morty.
79
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,042
Invalid.
80
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:35,080
Sounds like it's anyone's game!
81
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:38,220
Well, n-no, it... it's not
a bet, it's an audit.
82
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,920
Observer, show us "Maximum
Overdrive with Clothes"!
83
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,140
At least this is better than cars.
84
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,460
Cars can run you over.
85
00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:52,380
Okay, no, this is worse.
86
00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:55,680
- Boom. Adventure, suck it.
- All right, fine.
87
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:58,485
Uh, how 'bout "Whistlering Dixie"?
88
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,826
Whistler! Whattaya got to
tag and bag these bastards?
89
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:09,770
Made this lil' puppy after I
bagged my first neck-rophiliac.
90
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,550
Double-action triggers
pumping out 1,400 kilos
91
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,340
of holy water per square inch.
92
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,220
- Um...
- This ol' girl's got dry-aged,
93
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:18,230
Sicilian garlic expelling out
94
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,560
at 3,200 feet per second,
95
00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:23,800
is swaddled by 5,200 Solar-joules
96
00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:25,380
- of raw ultraviolet...
- Yeaahhh...
97
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,100
... and she's only getting started.
98
00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:29,400
I'm talkin' crucifix-shaped
Chinese stars,
99
00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:31,140
mirror-tipped wooden stakes,
100
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,269
and a... Wha...
101
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:33,840
Hello? G-Guys?
102
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:37,600
Morty, that was just an
old man a rambling at us.
103
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,550
- People died!
- So, by your logic,
104
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,069
9/11 was an adventure?
105
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:43,280
- Tweet it, see who agrees.
- Very well!
106
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,940
Bear witness to 9/11!
107
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,280
- What?
- No! Dude, don't,
108
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,929
just, y-you need to let us
throw to the stuff, okay?
109
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:49,960
Okay, what's next?
110
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:51,496
What the hell is "Leg Day"?
111
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,220
Hey, look, Morty!
112
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,540
I-I'm a leg!
113
00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,420
A leg, Morty!
114
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,962
I'm Leg Rick!
115
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,298
- Okay, I'll give you that last one.
- What?
116
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,470
- I-I mean... I mean, I'll take it, but...
- Hey, Morty, check this out.
117
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,750
That's clearly unlicensed.
118
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,800
- License this!
- Wait, what are you doing?
119
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,280
Hey, Smith, you look hungry!
120
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:11,740
How 'bout some knuckle pie?
121
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:13,980
Wuh the huh?
122
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,940
Aw, geez. Rick's implants.
123
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,607
Big Doug... get the truck.
124
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,200
Whoo! I've never felt so alive!
125
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,070
Ayyy!
126
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,160
Oh!
127
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:26,980
Oh!
128
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,575
Man.
129
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:06,620
Turn! Back! Into! A boat!
130
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,031
I'm trying!
131
00:06:10,850 --> 00:06:12,700
- I'm trying...
- Oh, Big Doug.
132
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,270
Big Doug, no.
133
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,710
There's my guy!
134
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,259
C'mon, the hamsters turned on me, Morty.
135
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,280
We gotta go.
136
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,660
R.I.P., Big Doug!
137
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,756
Wasn't even in that one!
138
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,820
Who cares, i-it wasn't even on my list.
139
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,100
T-This guy just cued it up!
140
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,540
Speaking of cues,
141
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,650
what about all those times you
two misunderstood each other?
142
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,820
Wait, what? Are you setting
up a series of them?
143
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:39,100
Trust me, the key is grouping
them with thematic connections.
144
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:41,100
Uhhhhhhh...
145
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,380
I-I just want to talk
to Morty in private,
146
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,640
about something unrelated.
147
00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,653
Yeah, we'll be right back.
148
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,190
Okay, this guy might have
been kind of a mistake.
149
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,533
He's really, like, aggressive.
150
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:52,640
He's steamrolling us.
151
00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,580
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
152
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:56,479
- And I don't like his voice.
- I don't like his voice,
153
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,929
I-I don't like that he's doing jokes,
154
00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,319
I don't like that he's
talking down to you.
155
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,980
Thank you! Okay. Let's rethink this.
156
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,829
I still don't trust these,
but I'll accept these cards
157
00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:05,120
at 70 cents on the dollar.
158
00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:06,420
Done. Fair.
159
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,520
How do we get rid of him?
160
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:10,099
Eh, I'll just pay the asshole
and tell him he did a great job.
161
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,020
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
162
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,909
- And I don't like his voice.
- I don't like his voice,
163
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:15,129
I-I don't like that he's doing jokes,
164
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,359
- I don't like him talking down to you.
- Okay, well, that's...
165
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,600
th-that's on us.
166
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:20,145
- Should have seen that coming.
- Seeing is more my thing.
167
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,609
Well, then you know
he's about to pay you.
168
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:24,140
And "tell me I did a great job"?
169
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:26,693
Fine, you caught us,
we secretly think you suck.
170
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:28,540
- Oh!
- Here's twice what I owe you.
171
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:31,280
That's how little conversation we
want to have about you leaving.
172
00:07:31,290 --> 00:07:33,840
I have never seen two bigger assholes!
173
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:35,790
And I see all assholes!
174
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,600
Then you can see yours out.
175
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:38,790
Byyyyee.
176
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,209
Christ.
177
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,540
Shit, hot, so hot.
178
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,000
Gotta start in the middle,
statistically the coolest.
179
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,470
You won't find a carb
on my plate, Morty.
180
00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,950
I'm all about that keto.
181
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,690
- No.
- Is that... Is that a fucking...
182
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,647
- Clip?
- I'm a fats man.
183
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,780
Gimme all the fats!
184
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,280
That burrito looks pretty carby!
185
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,318
This fucking guy.
186
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,280
That's your move? Diet shaming?
187
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,420
Just take the L, man!
188
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,697
Th-This is embarrassing.
189
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,367
Oh, I'll show you embarrassing!
190
00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:17,200
Haaaaaaaa!
191
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:20,030
Do it, Morty! I-It's the only
way to save the universe!
192
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,330
H-How? H-How is it the only way?
193
00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:24,420
Morty... I'm dying...
194
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,586
it's up to you...
195
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,338
Aahh!
196
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,341
Rick!
197
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:32,549
- Aghhh!
- What the hell are you doing?
198
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,280
Saving the universe! I think?
199
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,780
Right, Rick?
200
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:43,059
_
201
00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:45,100
- This guy's nuts!
- Screw you, Morty!
202
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,820
What the hell? You told me I was a hero!
203
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:50,060
- You were that night.
- What the hell's going on?
204
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:52,970
Is that angry stone playing videoclips?
205
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,920
It's some weirdo Grandpa hired
to prove I'm a bad person.
206
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,930
Turns out people that take that
job aren't fun to be around.
207
00:08:58,940 --> 00:08:59,953
Get out of here!
208
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,955
Sidewalk's public property, bro!
209
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,499
I can observe all I want from here!
210
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,620
This isn't our problem, Dad.
211
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,760
Please make this loud thing go away.
212
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,620
Yeah, I was studying for a test.
213
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,020
No, you weren't!
214
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,590
Fucking rock asshole.
215
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,610
Now you've done it!
216
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:18,221
As they've shamed me,
so shall I now shame you!
217
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,989
Mom? Are you drinking wine in there?
218
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:26,550
Um... no, I'm shitting.
219
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,970
Bitch, I know the sound
of a toilet lid moving.
220
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,060
- Woof.
- Two birds, one stone.
221
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,830
More embarrassing for Mom than me.
222
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,010
I wasn't lying, I was going to shit.
223
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:36,031
What's going on here?
224
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,825
Cosmic being playing
embarrassing clips out of spite?
225
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:40,060
Damn, Jerry. Nailed it.
226
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,162
I was watching from the upstairs window.
227
00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,997
Well, watch this, loser!
228
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:46,150
Morty, I'm throwing out some stuff
229
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,650
from our last couple adventures.
230
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:49,120
You got any use for this diamond?
231
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,280
Nope. I'm good.
232
00:09:58,170 --> 00:09:59,512
This is gonna be fine.
233
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,019
I'm sorry! I can't stop once I start!
234
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,660
Whatever, everyone
knows I'm embarrassing.
235
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,651
- I'm bulletproof.
- Oh, my God, this is so sad.
236
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:15,862
Not as sad as you after this!
237
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:18,240
The so-called "Hottie Snatchers"
238
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,610
have spread to Canada and Mexico,
239
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,280
grabbing the most attractive residents
240
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,860
and taking them God knows where.
241
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:26,690
All Americans, even sub-sevens,
are advised to stay indoors.
242
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,530
You certainly wouldn't
be safe out there.
243
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:30,600
Not on the air, Michael.
244
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:32,250
BRB, bathroom.
245
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:34,720
I need to know!
246
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,600
It's okay!
247
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:42,430
It's not real, they're
just doing it at random!
248
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,760
Is everything okay? I heard a...
249
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,010
You too, huh?
250
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:52,899
It's not so bad once you get used to it.
251
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,780
I don't deserve this.
I just walked downstairs.
252
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,730
Okay, well, if Dad's
just gonna stand here,
253
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,220
should I do something?
254
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,539
Unless that somehow tees me up...
255
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:04,340
- Walked right into it!
- This is our target,
256
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,780
Dichotomus Daniel...
257
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,740
That was my chair.
258
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,870
- It was a fart.
- Birdperson always knows.
259
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,879
It's true! He's got that beak!
260
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,214
Get lost, you piece of shit!
261
00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:18,717
Why, so you can do stuff like thiiis?
262
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,350
Ugh, Morty...
263
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,620
I'm afraid the only way out
264
00:11:28,630 --> 00:11:31,688
is through the bottom of this
massive vat of whale semen.
265
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,080
Well, that last one was
just for shock value.
266
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:35,191
Fuck this guy!
267
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,736
Haha, if you can't take the heat,
268
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,050
get out of the watchin'!
269
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:40,560
You... You... You... You suck!
270
00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:41,680
S-Showing weird shit
271
00:11:41,690 --> 00:11:44,279
just 'cause we w-wouldn't let you
treat our lives like a clip show!
272
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,839
- Yeah, get him, Morty!
- Mess him up, little bro!
273
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,760
What, you gonna beat me
up like the piss guy?
274
00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:50,200
Hey! Not cool!
275
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,959
Why don't you tee up this
clip of me kicking your ass!
276
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,340
Ow! Oww!
277
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:58,460
Aghhh, I'm all rocks now!
278
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,510
I never saw this coming...
279
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,388
Shit!
280
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,720
T-These guys can die?!
281
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,250
I-I thought they were cosmic!
282
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,149
You know what, I say we leave
this thing in the street,
283
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,460
deny any involvement, and
just hope this blows over.
284
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,900
Unless, of course, they play
this exact clip on a screen
285
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,160
in front of a jury with
some kind of built-in bias.
286
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,528
As an observer, I try to stay impartial,
287
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,989
but I am not seeing innocence.
288
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:24,280
It's not blowing over, Rick.
289
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,000
I'd tell you to stay positive, Morty,
290
00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:27,786
but I do not like the
looks of that jury.
291
00:12:29,570 --> 00:12:31,700
I can't believe we got
ourselves into this mess
292
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:34,030
over something as petty
as what an adventure is.
293
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,280
Yeah, I-I guess I can admit I got
a little loose with the stamps...
294
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:40,130
Gotcha! Can the stenographer read
back that confession, please?
295
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:43,676
Silence! The killing of an
observer is unforgivable.
296
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:47,389
We must now decide whether
to end your existence.
297
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,400
Your Honor, if everyone here
has truly seen everything,
298
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:53,728
then you all know my grandson and
I did this whole thing with giants.
299
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:55,313
Did what whole thing?
300
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,981
I will address that!
301
00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:59,340
I'm your court-appointed defender.
302
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:03,196
Your Honor, observe the time Rick
and Morty did this with giants!
303
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,580
This is an open and shut case, Morty.
304
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,159
Y'know w-w-what do ya
think is gonna happen,
305
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,930
some magical angel's
gonna show up and...
306
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:10,040
Fee-fi-fo-fum,
307
00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,950
I smell the violation
of civil liberties!
308
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,000
The moments are practically
identical, Your Honor.
309
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:17,870
I move for a mistrial on
the grounds it bumps.
310
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,260
If the argument is that Rick and
Morty repeat their mistakes,
311
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,210
the prosecution agrees!
312
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,839
Oh, God, y-you sound just
like the guy we killed...
313
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,010
uh, a-allegedly.
314
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:28,920
That was my brother!
315
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:30,473
I didn't like his voice either!
316
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,142
Well, this isn't gonna help our case.
317
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:34,310
Neither will this next clip!
318
00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:36,480
Morty, I made you a gorilla gun.
319
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,350
- Pretty cool, huh?
- A gorilla gun?
320
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,775
- D-Does this do what I think it does?
- Yup!
321
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,400
Where's your lunch money, punk?
322
00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:43,528
Lunch money?
323
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,655
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather have... a banana?
324
00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:51,110
I thought it would turn
him into a gorilla.
325
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,440
Why would you want a
bully to be a gorilla?
326
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,180
It was a gun that kills gorillas.
327
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:57,260
Please go easy on him,
th-this one's on me,
328
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,460
and it won't happen again.
329
00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,837
- Morty, this is a bully gun.
- Whoa! Cool!
330
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,440
- Any questions about it?
- Not really.
331
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,757
Yeah, should be
self-explanatory. Have fun.
332
00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:06,540
Hey. Give me your backpack.
333
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,553
- You trying to bully me?
- Yeah.
334
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,919
Well, how are you going to bully...
335
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,400
another bully?
336
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,080
What are you doing?
337
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,060
I feel like this one's
not entirely my fault.
338
00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:22,280
- Okay, how do you feel?
- I-I'm okay.
339
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,910
I mean, maybe just stop
giving me guns, or...
340
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,120
Or make them less ambiguous,
way ahead of you.
341
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,280
Here. Take this.
342
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:31,380
This is a gun, and I want
to be really specific here,
343
00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:34,660
this is a gun that you only
use to shoot bad people.
344
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,260
- Are we clear?
- Okay, Rick.
345
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,770
When are you going to use that?
346
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,720
When I want to shoot a bad person.
347
00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:40,980
Okay.
348
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,379
I had a great time tonight, Jessica.
349
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:43,755
Hey. Give me your money.
350
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,700
Why don't you take this instead?
351
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:48,800
Jeffrey Dahmer?
352
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,120
- Hi.
- Uh, what's happening?
353
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,240
I don't know, just run.
354
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:56,420
Let the record show this bit
continued for several more guns.
355
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,070
What are we even guilty of in
that one, being kind of dumb?
356
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,740
For being dumb over and over!
357
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:06,580
A-ha! But, Your Honor, is that not
the definition of experimentation?
358
00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:08,280
The foundation of science?
359
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:11,620
And are Rick and Morty therefore
not only not not learning,
360
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,540
but therefore actively learning?
361
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,078
Observe this example!
362
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,839
_
363
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,080
How long before Ben
Franklin comes back to life?
364
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,120
Holy shit! Yes!
365
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,520
Shit, he came back evil.
366
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:24,599
What do you think will happen
367
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,440
- if we bury him again?
- You don't know?
368
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:29,120
This is my first time using
Pet Sematary soil, Morty.
369
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:31,886
I mean... as long as
we're asking questions...
370
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,810
we've been here so long my phone died.
371
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:34,839
It's not gonna charge your phone!
372
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,516
So you can be curious and I can't?
373
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,700
Fuck, you're right.
374
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,780
W-We're sitting on top of
brand-new science here.
375
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,271
L-Let's gather some data!
376
00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:46,440
- Put your back into it, Morty!
- Y-You think it'll refill the tank?
377
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:48,250
Good pitch, Morty!
378
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,650
Okay, let's bury that kangaroo
from the waist down.
379
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,640
Holy shit! Will only his legs come back?
380
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:53,660
Who knows?!
381
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:56,140
Hey, I'm having a great time
with you tonight, Morty!
382
00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,620
- W-What's that one?
- Ben Franklin!
383
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,460
R-Remember we tried
wrapping him in tin foil
384
00:16:00,470 --> 00:16:02,709
- to see if it'd shield him from the evil?
- Oh, yeah.
385
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:05,020
Ow! Fuck!
386
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,463
- I-It's hot!
- Jesus Christ...
387
00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:10,860
It cooked him like a pig at a luau.
388
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,580
- It's so moist.
- Rick! That's a guy!
389
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,513
Man, what is this place doing to us?
390
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,266
Is nothing sacred to you two?
391
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,859
What are these clips? Wh-What
are we even on trial for anymore?
392
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,980
What's anyone on trial for, son?
393
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,606
Being good or evil.
394
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,540
L-Look, sure, we can be irreverent,
395
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,200
but w-we're far from evil.
396
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,902
We make more friends than enemies!
397
00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:31,988
Let's run the tape on that one!
398
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,280
Hey, Rick, can you make
my churro come to life?
399
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,320
On it!
400
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,080
Hiiiiiiii! I'm Churry!
401
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,500
Churry, do you want to have fun?
402
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,663
Let's go!
403
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,349
_
404
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,860
This has been the best
time of my life, Churry.
405
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,580
Okay, thanks, Rick!
406
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,656
Y-You can turn him back
into a regular churro now.
407
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,310
What? I-I can't turn him back.
408
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,679
You asked me to bring him to life.
409
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,740
Bam, done.
410
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:20,920
But he's a churro, he doesn't
have internal organs,
411
00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:22,090
a brain, et cetera.
412
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,381
In order to live, I had to make
him functionally immortal.
413
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:27,168
What.
414
00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:33,169
_
415
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,968
My... My family!
416
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,900
Goodbye, Churry. I'll miss you.
417
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,810
These are just regular churros?
418
00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:49,900
Oh, my God, no! Mark my words, Morty!
419
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,190
I shall leave you as you left me!
420
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,810
On a barren planet!
421
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:56,197
Praying for death!
422
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,440
I'm starting to see why
this lawyer was free.
423
00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:01,180
Okay, well, we never
intentionally hurt people.
424
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,209
Yeah, we adventure! Stuff goes wrong.
425
00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:04,540
We don't just murder for fun.
426
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,730
Oh! Here's a clip about that topic!
427
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:08,520
I did it, Morty!
428
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:10,680
I killed the versions of us
that were in "Space Jam"!
429
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,060
- Help me with the bodies!
- Wow!
430
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,930
- How you'd do it, Rick?
- It was easy, Morty.
431
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,967
Th-They welcomed death!
They wanted out, Morty!
432
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,440
No, no, no, you don't
get it, they begged me.
433
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:20,460
- It was a kindness!
- Was that helpful?
434
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,682
It was for the prosecution!
435
00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:24,434
Okay, I've heard enough!
436
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,880
No, you fucking haven't.
437
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,688
If we're about to die, at least
let us defend ourselves.
438
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:29,819
- Ahh, the outrage!
- Ehh, seems iffy.
439
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:31,040
I'll allow it.
440
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:32,608
But no lollygagging!
441
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,820
I only need one clip, Your Honor.
442
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,114
If it pleases the court,
hold on to your tits.
443
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:45,020
I'm a leg, Morty! You like that?
444
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,450
Yeahhh, I know you do.
445
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,690
Oh! We already saw that one.
446
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,079
No, that's the other time I did it.
447
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,580
That was your Hail Mary?
448
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,881
- I held onto my tits for nothing!
- Boooo!
449
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:56,174
- That was mid!
- Boo!
450
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:59,300
I hereby find Rick and Morty guilty!
451
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,840
Time to die!
452
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,730
- What in tarnation?
- Plot twist!
453
00:19:11,731 --> 00:19:13,691
Whattaya expect? You gave
me access to your tech.
454
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:16,929
Look, I-I'm not saying we're heroes,
455
00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:18,869
but in the two minutes I've
had access to your server,
456
00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:20,323
I can "observe" you're no better.
457
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:21,699
Here, let's see a clip.
458
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,760
Help! Please!
459
00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:27,340
Oh, my God! Please!
460
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:28,730
Augh! Please!
461
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,570
Absurd!
462
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,440
If the Observer was in the clip,
463
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:36,700
who was watching?
464
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:37,715
Glad you asked!
465
00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:39,400
Please!
466
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,460
Augh!
467
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,472
Jesus Christ.
468
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,119
You can't shame us for watching!
469
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,141
It's who we are!
470
00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:49,560
Right, and you'd never
take advantage of that.
471
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,860
Hot copies! Freshly watched!
472
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:53,780
I've got "Avatar" 3 through 6!
473
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,280
Friends and Family screening,
the VFX aren't done,
474
00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:57,610
but they're still blue!
475
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,140
It's not my fault I saw those movies!
476
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,532
Yes! We observe, it's all we do!
477
00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:04,408
Ohhoho! It's not all you do.
478
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,770
I'll give you guys $20
to fight each other.
479
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,700
Money, money!
480
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,100
As it turns out, you do plenty!
481
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,400
You're just as bad as us!
482
00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:15,740
We're not all bad.
483
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,922
I observe a couple of bad apples!
484
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,720
Who are you calling an apple?
485
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,593
Should we all observe what
you did with Tom's wife?
486
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:25,763
Observe me harder! Harder!
487
00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:27,580
I regret nothing, Tom!
488
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,420
The only thing you could never see
489
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,180
was what a treasure Nancy was.
490
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:33,729
- I'll kill you!
- I'd like to observe you try!
491
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:37,960
Geez, Rick.
492
00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,820
People be fucking each
other's wives, huh?
493
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:41,180
Marriage is a scam, Morty.
494
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:43,190
Let's scram.
495
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,324
Wait! I still have more clips!
496
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:48,700
Morty, I appreciate what
you were trying to do,
497
00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:51,079
with the punch cards,
my whole groove thing.
498
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,300
Thanks.
499
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,990
So... is this a stamp?
500
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,124
Or you gonna make me count
this as my adventure?
501
00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:57,830
How about we just ignore this one.
502
00:20:57,850 --> 00:20:59,800
Yeah. Yeah, good call.
503
00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:01,591
80 cents on the dollar?
504
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:02,920
- 75.
- Done.
505
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,740
Whattaya say, Rick? Fly through space,
506
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,430
come upon something, maybe
I have a moral objection,
507
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,690
stuff gets messy, and you
ultimately bail us out?
508
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:11,851
L-Let's take it for a spin.
509
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:14,560
Rick and Morty! We're back, baby!
510
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:15,990
Check the glovebox!
511
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,689
Whoa, another gun!
512
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:22,153
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
513
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,540
Hey, Morty, see you at
the frolf mixer tomorrow?
514
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,143
Y-Yeah, sure thing, Jimmy.
515
00:21:56,510 --> 00:21:58,147
I knew this day would come...
516
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,484
Oh, oh, God! Aaah!
517
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:04,600
Nice.
518
00:22:04,620 --> 00:22:06,110
Free churro.
519
00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:07,490
Whew.
520
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,534
- Aaah!
- _