1
00:00:34,397 --> 00:00:38,818
Okay, there I am at my roommate's
bandmate's funeral thinking,
2
00:00:38,902 --> 00:00:41,488
"Whoa, like, what if I can die?"
3
00:00:41,571 --> 00:00:44,074
And just when I found out I'm a cinephile?
4
00:00:44,741 --> 00:00:47,494
Anyway, that's why I'm busy
writing this movie.
5
00:00:47,577 --> 00:00:49,037
So don't bother calling.
6
00:00:49,746 --> 00:00:51,581
This is your son, by the way.
7
00:00:52,707 --> 00:00:53,707
Young Neil.
8
00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:11,935
I've written nothing?
9
00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:31,704
What?
10
00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:43,716
My sleep paralysis demon?
11
00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:17,250
I wrote
a feature-length screenplay in my sleep.
12
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,461
I'm a screenwriter!
13
00:04:28,339 --> 00:04:30,508
You changed your hair. What's up, Ramona?
14
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:32,093
Nothing major.
15
00:04:32,176 --> 00:04:35,263
Just, somebody kidnapped
Scott Pilgrim and faked his death.
16
00:04:35,346 --> 00:04:36,848
You're f****** joking.
17
00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:40,351
Stacey, I'm taking my fifteen.
18
00:04:40,435 --> 00:04:42,603
You took your fifteen 20 minutes ago!
19
00:04:42,687 --> 00:04:45,481
And would you stop swearing?
We have f******* customers!
20
00:04:45,565 --> 00:04:46,565
F*** my life!
21
00:04:48,735 --> 00:04:50,320
Tell me everything.
22
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:55,950
Last night, in my dreams,
I saw Scott's subspace highway...
23
00:04:57,744 --> 00:04:58,828
and heard his voice.
24
00:04:58,911 --> 00:05:01,998
Ramona...
25
00:05:02,081 --> 00:05:03,499
Subspace what?
26
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,084
It doesn't matter.
27
00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:07,670
I think it means he's alive.
28
00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:17,538
So I went back to The Rockit
to look at the security footage
29
00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:19,474
of what we thought was Scott's death.
30
00:05:39,911 --> 00:05:43,623
Someone grabbed him
and pulled him into a portal.
31
00:05:50,588 --> 00:05:52,632
Somebody wants us to think he's dead.
32
00:05:53,841 --> 00:05:55,843
I knew it was too good to be true.
33
00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,512
Can a guy get a croissant?
34
00:05:58,221 --> 00:06:00,181
Wallace? Have you been out all night?
35
00:06:00,264 --> 00:06:02,392
- Did you say Scott's alive?
- Yeah.
36
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,478
Trippy.
37
00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:08,147
Well, if you see him,
tell him I changed the locks.
38
00:06:08,231 --> 00:06:11,192
And if you see me,
remind me to change the locks.
39
00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:13,861
Your sugar daddy days are over?
40
00:06:13,945 --> 00:06:15,822
For him, absolutely.
41
00:06:15,905 --> 00:06:17,281
For others, we'll see.
42
00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:19,283
The future is a mystery.
43
00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:20,868
Here's your f****** croissant!
44
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,496
Ladies.
45
00:06:24,705 --> 00:06:26,707
So why would someone kidnap Scott?
46
00:06:26,791 --> 00:06:29,836
And why would they get my hopes up
by making it seem like he was dead?
47
00:06:29,919 --> 00:06:31,838
I haven't figured that out yet.
48
00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:32,839
Yet?
49
00:06:32,922 --> 00:06:34,966
Don't tell me
you're gonna try to find him.
50
00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:36,634
I think I have to.
51
00:06:36,717 --> 00:06:40,346
Ramona, I don't see
how any of this is your responsibility.
52
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:43,307
You went on one date.
How good could it have been?
53
00:06:43,391 --> 00:06:45,601
Honestly, great.
54
00:06:45,685 --> 00:06:49,272
Your date with Scott Pilgrim?
55
00:06:49,355 --> 00:06:50,356
Yikes.
56
00:06:51,232 --> 00:06:53,025
Well, more power to you.
57
00:06:53,651 --> 00:06:55,403
So what's your next move, Columbo?
58
00:06:55,486 --> 00:06:57,321
Well, you know everyone, right?
59
00:06:57,405 --> 00:07:00,783
I thought you could give me a rundown
of the major characters in Scott's life.
60
00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:03,661
More like major suspects.
61
00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:08,040
Well, let's see. There's Stephen Stills.
62
00:07:08,124 --> 00:07:10,126
My ex, the singer in the band.
63
00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:13,546
He's a mess. Too much anxiety
for even the simplest decisions.
64
00:07:13,629 --> 00:07:16,048
No way could he mastermind a kidnapping.
65
00:07:16,132 --> 00:07:19,218
Then there's Stephen's roommate,
Young Neil.
66
00:07:19,302 --> 00:07:22,638
He's kinda sheltered, and he's only 19,
but don't let that fool you.
67
00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:25,057
He's an idiot.
He'd make Scott look like a genius,
68
00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:27,560
but he can't,
because that's literally impossible.
69
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:29,270
What about Envy Adams?
70
00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:32,148
Oh boy! Scott's ex. The big one...
71
00:07:32,231 --> 00:07:36,986
Excuse me. I asked for an iced Americano.
This is a hot Americano...
72
00:07:37,069 --> 00:07:38,613
Then add some ice cubes to it!
73
00:07:39,113 --> 00:07:40,656
You stupid f***.
74
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:44,702
As I was saying, Envy Adams
pulled Scott's heart out of his chest
75
00:07:44,785 --> 00:07:47,788
and stomped all over it
with her patent leather combat boots.
76
00:07:47,872 --> 00:07:50,458
And that was before she went on
to become a global sex symbol.
77
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:52,752
I saw her do her thing at the funeral.
78
00:07:52,835 --> 00:07:54,587
She's even hotter in person.
79
00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,214
Are we sure they dated?
80
00:07:56,297 --> 00:07:59,967
Yeah, you're obviously not the only one
with questionable taste, Ramona.
81
00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:01,843
Who else?
82
00:08:02,512 --> 00:08:05,473
You know who you should talk to?
His other ex.
83
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:08,851
- She's known him longer than anyone.
- Okay. Who is she?
84
00:08:15,024 --> 00:08:17,485
What is Sex Bob-omb without Scott?
85
00:08:17,568 --> 00:08:23,074
He really added something to our sound,
something undefinable.
86
00:08:23,658 --> 00:08:25,660
Bass. He added bass.
87
00:08:25,743 --> 00:08:27,411
Right! Exactly!
88
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:29,705
Can we have a band with no bass?
89
00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:32,959
What if we find a new bass player
and they make us worse?
90
00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:36,295
The odds are they'd make us better
because we probably sucked.
91
00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:38,798
There's always Scott's understudy.
92
00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:47,306
No! I fear change!
93
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:51,561
Hey, you wanna
try playing something together?
94
00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:52,853
Just for fun?
95
00:08:52,937 --> 00:08:54,188
Me and you?
96
00:08:54,772 --> 00:08:56,399
I don't see anyone else in here.
97
00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:02,613
How long have you been playing the drums?
98
00:09:02,697 --> 00:09:04,824
A long time. Since I was 14.
99
00:09:05,408 --> 00:09:07,702
Drumming is a great outlet
for my emotions.
100
00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:09,829
- Rage, mostly.
- Wow!
101
00:09:10,496 --> 00:09:12,957
But how do I know which notes to play?
102
00:09:13,541 --> 00:09:16,085
It's up to you.
That's why they call it "play."
103
00:10:26,113 --> 00:10:27,113
Whoa!
104
00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:32,161
How long have you been playing bass?
105
00:10:34,914 --> 00:10:36,040
What time is it?
106
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,083
4 p.m.
107
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:40,336
Then, four hours.
108
00:10:40,419 --> 00:10:41,587
I'm late for work.
109
00:10:42,171 --> 00:10:46,217
Have you ever thought about collaborating
with a seasoned songwriter?
110
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,734
- Sorry, I'm late.
- I don't care.
111
00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:13,577
Kim, customer.
112
00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:19,375
{n8}Funny thought.
113
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:23,003
{n8}Maybe he faked his own death
to get out of paying his late fees.
114
00:11:23,087 --> 00:11:24,213
{n8}You're half right.
115
00:11:24,296 --> 00:11:25,548
{n8}Which half?
116
00:11:25,631 --> 00:11:26,716
{n8}He's not dead.
117
00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:29,844
{n8}The house always wins.
118
00:11:30,928 --> 00:11:33,347
It's just a dumb thing a dumb person
told me one time.
119
00:11:33,931 --> 00:11:36,809
So. You've been using
Scott's unconscious dreamscape
120
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:38,811
to deliver DVDs quicker?
121
00:11:38,894 --> 00:11:41,647
You're the first person in Canada
to understand that.
122
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:43,315
It's not a complicated concept.
123
00:11:43,816 --> 00:11:46,068
No wonder you're putting us
out of business.
124
00:11:46,569 --> 00:11:49,238
- Canada?
- No, video stores.
125
00:11:50,948 --> 00:11:53,743
Julie said you knew him the longest.
When did you meet?
126
00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:58,998
You told me you were good at drawing.
127
00:11:59,582 --> 00:12:00,833
Maps are hard.
128
00:12:00,916 --> 00:12:03,043
If I had to draw a sheep, though,
I'd draw it perfect.
129
00:12:03,127 --> 00:12:04,253
A sheep?
130
00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:05,379
Draw me a sheep.
131
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:10,384
That's the worst sheep I've ever seen.
132
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:13,179
What are you talking about?
This sheep is excellent!
133
00:12:17,516 --> 00:12:19,143
He was always an idiot.
134
00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:22,646
But one thing led to another,
and to my continued embarrassment,
135
00:12:23,439 --> 00:12:27,234
Scott Pilgrim became my first boyfriend.
136
00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:32,907
Is Scott drawing you a sheep
your most romantic memory, or...
137
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:35,743
There was this one time
I was kidnapped by a rival school,
138
00:12:35,826 --> 00:12:38,579
and Scott had to fight through
an entire army of teen jerks
139
00:12:38,662 --> 00:12:40,915
and their leader Simon Lee to rescue me.
140
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,708
That's a romantic memory.
141
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:48,839
Yeah, but how romantic can a memory be
if things ended terribly?
142
00:12:51,675 --> 00:12:53,511
Well, you're still friends.
143
00:12:53,594 --> 00:12:55,179
That's gotta be a good sign.
144
00:12:55,262 --> 00:12:57,556
He's at least a lovable idiot, right?
145
00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:03,062
You like him, don't you?
146
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,023
There were sparks.
147
00:13:07,691 --> 00:13:08,818
You're in trouble.
148
00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:10,903
Why does this always happen to me?
149
00:13:10,986 --> 00:13:14,073
I don't know. Maybe you could ask
one of your seven evil exes?
150
00:13:15,282 --> 00:13:17,910
I kinda assumed
they'd be your first suspects.
151
00:13:17,993 --> 00:13:19,662
I'm not in a hurry to see them.
152
00:13:23,624 --> 00:13:24,834
What?
153
00:13:24,917 --> 00:13:26,627
Sounds like Hollie's taking care of it.
154
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,045
Kim! Customer!
155
00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:32,341
This is unexpected.
156
00:13:32,424 --> 00:13:34,844
Well, you better get better at expecting.
157
00:13:34,927 --> 00:13:36,804
You two know each other?
158
00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:39,098
We were college roommates.
159
00:13:39,932 --> 00:13:41,100
And more!
160
00:13:41,183 --> 00:13:42,268
And more.
161
00:13:42,351 --> 00:13:44,311
So, you're...
162
00:13:44,812 --> 00:13:48,482
Roxie Richter! Ramona's fourth evil ex!
163
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:49,483
Okay!
164
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,694
Fourth? What about two and three?
165
00:13:51,777 --> 00:13:54,029
Four ain't nothing but a number, baby.
166
00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:55,823
Besides, the League lies in ruin.
167
00:13:56,782 --> 00:13:58,617
So here I am!
168
00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:00,536
Rox you like a hurricane!
169
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:01,662
Why are you even...
170
00:14:02,955 --> 00:14:04,623
I'm here for us, Ramona.
171
00:14:04,707 --> 00:14:06,458
First in line to win your heart.
172
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:09,044
Because I have something
the others never will.
173
00:14:09,128 --> 00:14:10,546
Which is what, exactly?
174
00:14:10,629 --> 00:14:12,756
Emotional intelligence.
175
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,051
None of these boys know
how to talk about their feelings.
176
00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:18,721
What you fail to mention is
that when it comes to feelings,
177
00:14:18,804 --> 00:14:20,347
you're as clueless as the boys.
178
00:14:20,431 --> 00:14:23,517
That is so unfair!
You're just impossible to talk to!
179
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,895
You want to talk about feelings?
Start talking.
180
00:14:26,979 --> 00:14:28,606
I've got a better idea.
181
00:14:29,481 --> 00:14:30,983
Let's fight about 'em!
182
00:14:31,066 --> 00:14:33,861
{n8}Roxie Richter versus Ramona Flowers!
183
00:14:33,944 --> 00:14:34,944
{n8}Fight!
184
00:14:36,155 --> 00:14:37,155
Whoa!
185
00:14:46,582 --> 00:14:48,459
Are we really doing this again?
186
00:14:56,717 --> 00:14:58,677
Ramona! You b****!
187
00:15:00,137 --> 00:15:01,137
Get off!
188
00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:16,779
An old movie?
189
00:15:22,409 --> 00:15:23,452
Come on!
190
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,419
They're ruining my movie.
191
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,421
I'm taking my fifteen.
192
00:15:39,259 --> 00:15:40,259
Ora!
193
00:15:45,516 --> 00:15:46,517
You're done...
194
00:15:53,399 --> 00:15:54,483
That's cheap.
195
00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:16,839
I don't want to fight you, Roxie.
196
00:16:17,673 --> 00:16:19,967
Gonna run away? Like you did back then?
197
00:16:37,276 --> 00:16:38,986
Roxie, I...
198
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:11,267
Roxie...
199
00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:13,436
I'm sorry.
200
00:17:15,439 --> 00:17:16,439
For what?
201
00:17:17,232 --> 00:17:18,776
For leaving the way I did.
202
00:17:48,972 --> 00:17:51,183
I was too afraid to face you.
203
00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:54,061
So you left without a word?
204
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:56,313
You made me feel like nothing!
205
00:17:56,855 --> 00:17:58,273
You were afraid?
206
00:17:58,982 --> 00:18:00,025
Good for you!
207
00:18:00,109 --> 00:18:02,778
All I wanted was for you to see me!
208
00:18:05,114 --> 00:18:06,323
I'm sorry.
209
00:18:09,284 --> 00:18:11,954
Apology accepted.
210
00:18:12,788 --> 00:18:15,040
But that doesn't mean
I'm gonna let you win.
211
00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:34,559
Roxie!
212
00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,125
Roxie!
213
00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:43,128
As far as I'm concerned, you won.
214
00:19:45,422 --> 00:19:50,802
College doesn't seem that long ago,
but we were pretty immature, weren't we?
215
00:20:01,021 --> 00:20:04,650
You know, I can't remember the last time
I just hung out with the girls.
216
00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:05,859
This is nice.
217
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,778
The snacks aren't free, you know.
218
00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:10,239
Come on! Fighting makes me hungry.
219
00:20:10,322 --> 00:20:13,575
- You were really kicking my ass.
- You're not just saying that?
220
00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:15,327
I never just say anything.
221
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:16,912
Nice. Should we kiss?
222
00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:20,374
I have unfinished business with Scott.
223
00:20:20,916 --> 00:20:22,251
Emotional business?
224
00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:23,710
He's dead, Ramona.
225
00:20:23,794 --> 00:20:27,965
He's not dead. It's complicated.
I've gotta find him first.
226
00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:30,384
But I'd like to be your friend.
227
00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:32,970
- With benefits?
- No benefits.
228
00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:33,887
Worth a shot.
229
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,013
What about you?
230
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,640
I'm not...
231
00:20:50,487 --> 00:20:51,738
No sparks.
232
00:20:52,531 --> 00:20:53,615
Worth a shot.
233
00:20:53,699 --> 00:20:56,034
What about your hot coworker?
Is she coming back?
234
00:20:56,118 --> 00:20:58,120
Okay, it's time for you to leave.
235
00:21:05,127 --> 00:21:07,254
At least I have one less suspect.
236
00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:09,548
Roxie didn't know Scott was alive.
237
00:21:09,631 --> 00:21:12,718
This was a productive day
as far as fights are concerned.
238
00:21:12,801 --> 00:21:15,846
Everybody needs closure.
That's why they call it closure.
239
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:18,974
Now you're one step closer
to the dumb boy of your dreams,
240
00:21:19,057 --> 00:21:21,143
and you buried the hatchet with an ex.
241
00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:22,561
Multitasking.
242
00:21:32,112 --> 00:21:35,157
Don't tell me I'm gonna have to do this
with all seven of them.
243
00:21:36,158 --> 00:21:39,911
Hollywood legend Lucas Lee
is one of your exes?
244
00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:42,247
Unfortunately.
245
00:21:42,331 --> 00:21:43,331
Damn, Ramona.
246
00:21:43,373 --> 00:21:47,169
I know he's a handsome, big-chested,
devil-may-care Hollywood d-bag,
247
00:21:47,252 --> 00:21:51,548
but is he evil enough
to kidnap a dude and fake his death?
248
00:21:52,549 --> 00:21:54,176
Only one way to find out.
249
00:22:03,769 --> 00:22:06,605
My mistake.
I thought you were a garbage can. Sorry!
250
00:22:20,911 --> 00:22:21,911
F***!
251
00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:31,338
Gideon Graves? G-Man?
252
00:22:32,589 --> 00:22:35,300
So you don't remember me.
253
00:22:37,177 --> 00:22:39,429
Gideon Graves wasn't my birth name.
254
00:22:39,513 --> 00:22:41,390
It was an identity I created.
255
00:22:42,432 --> 00:22:46,436
When I moved to New York City,
I left my past behind and leveled up.
256
00:22:47,270 --> 00:22:51,358
But back in the day,
you knew me by another name.
257
00:22:59,157 --> 00:23:00,075
Gordon?
258
00:23:00,158 --> 00:23:02,661
Gordon Goose from North Bay, Ontario?
259
00:23:03,328 --> 00:23:04,329
Fearless.
260
00:23:05,288 --> 00:23:06,748
Then you do remember me.
261
00:23:07,582 --> 00:23:09,418
You may be the only one who does.
262
00:23:09,501 --> 00:23:12,421
Julie, I've lost everything.
263
00:23:13,296 --> 00:23:17,509
My empire is gone.
My billionaire friends have shunned me.
264
00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:20,178
Even my millionaire friends
have turned their backs.
265
00:23:20,762 --> 00:23:23,140
I couldn't even get
a reservation at McDonald's.
266
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,350
They laughed at me when I called.
267
00:23:26,435 --> 00:23:29,604
So I spent the last of my pocket money
on bus fare to Toronto
268
00:23:30,313 --> 00:23:33,692
just to see one sympathetic face.
269
00:23:40,157 --> 00:23:41,157
Gordon,
270
00:23:41,783 --> 00:23:43,493
get your butt in here.