Please take your seats. Our show is about to begin.
Extra butter, please.
Keep going.
Okay, great.
Nope, not great.
More.
Now stop. Okay. Now double that, and we're done.
Come on!
Evil Ex Number Three, Todd Ingram, right?
The vegan? Let's fight!
Me? Fight you? Over Ramona?
Don't make me laugh!
And I'm vegan no longer.
I had a cheese plate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner today.
You owe me a new tub of butter. I mean, popcorn.
And you didn't create this weird force field between me and Ramona?
Dude, for your information, I've got a new obsessive love interest.
Hey! You were Wallace's roommate! Tell me everything!
Where was he born? What is his middle name?
Does he have a favorite vegetable?
Move on, Todd. I'm not interested in curds and whey.
There were sparks! Sparks!
There's no such thing.
I had that dream again
Hi, Ramona.
Scott Pilgrim! Do not be throwing hands at me right now!
This is the biggest night of my career.
I shouldn't even be wasting my voice on you! So, bzzp!
Well, look at this.
Scott and Ramona together again.
So he's alive!
Put 'er there, Pilgrim.
Hey, I get it. No presh on the handshake.
You didn't create a force field preventing me and Ramona from kissing, did you?
Scotty, that evil villain stuff is behind me. I've got Jules now.
We're just here to watch the show, you psycho maniac. Let us pass.
What?
Come on, fellas. Don't make this about me.
Let me tell you about Broadway Bad Boy, Matthew Patel.
Hi-yah!
Hey, Evil Exes!
Do either of you know anything about this force field thingy?
And would either of you like to fight about it?
Nope.
Come on. Let's go watch a stupid musical about a stupid guy.
Scott Pilgrim.
Excuse us. We were just reading aloud.
"Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Musical."
We're not here to fight.
Our robot says we're all bros in the future. So...
Later, bro.
So it probably wasn't them then.
That leaves...
Wait, nobody?
We've ruled out all my exes.
What the hell? No fights? No kissing?
This finale sucks.
I'm so excited I might legitimately pass out again!
I'm here to support the two of you, but this better be really good.
"Based on a memoir by Old Young Neil."
I wonder if there's any relation?
Scott Pilgrim!
So you got the girl.
You gonna kiss her or what?
- Kiss her! - Kiss her!
- I'm Scott Pilgrim - I know, shut up
I had that dream again
I didn't care the first time you told me, I care even less now
The girl with rollerblades And rainbow hair
How do I tell him
My exes are evil?
- Skater - Exes
- Actor - Evil
- Vegan - Exes
- Rock star - Evil
- Mogul, Titan - Exes, Evil
- Lover - Exes
- Fighter - We are the Evil Exes!
Bread ain't all that
Bread makes you fat
What's wrong with that?
Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott!
This is your precious life!
What the hell?
Where are we?
Gotta be part of the show. The special effects are incredible.
It most certainly is not!
I need to get back and sing the big finale!
Exactly.
He needs to bring the house down.
With dynamite!
Julie and I rigged the whole stage with it.
You did what? Why?
Isn't it obvious?
You took his life away.
And I'm the cool girl who's helping him get it back.
But that could really hurt someone!
Not us.
The cast and crew, maybe.
Still not cool, Goose.
Enough!
Scott?
But old.
No.
{n8}Even older.
Even Older Me!
How ya doing? Love the white hair.
I explicitly told you to stay away from Ramona!
But did you listen?
No!
Isn't that perfect?
Scott and Ramona.
Must be love.
Hey, give us a kiss, you two. Let's see those sparks!
The force field! It was you!
Duh!
I tried to convince you to give up on Ramona,
but if you didn't listen, I had a backup plan.
I put nanomachines in your drink.
Developed by the Twins. Coded to Ramona's DNA.
You'll find the AK fields they generate to be quite impenetrable.
"AK fields"?
Anti-Kiss fields!
So why are you here fighting us? You've already won.
I'm here because winning didn't change anything!
We still end up marrying Ramona inexplicably!
You and all your stupid friends must team up at some point in my new past
and figure out how to dissolve the Anti-Kiss Fields.
My new memories are kind of fuzzy, but that made me realize
all my plans were too complicated.
It's time to do what I should have done in the first place.
- Rip your... - Ahem!
Sir, I respect the work you've put into this villain plot,
but I have my own villain plot going on.
So please, send the rest of us back first. We've got no beef with you.
What if I have a beef with you?
Gordon!
Put him down, you old f***!
Pathetic.
After you left the future, and after Old Wallace kicked me out,
I began my training.
For ten years, I did nothing but study all of your skills.
Your strengths, your weaknesses.
Because there's only one way to end this.
Me versus the world!
I have to destroy all of you!
So you're the big bad.
Me?
I'm a good guy! I've been living like a friggin' monk!
Is that what we're calling it?
Or is it just that you haven't been outside in ten years?
You sound just like my wife!
{n8}Even Older Scott Pilgrim versus everyone!
Fight!
Ramona!
Ramona, are you okay?
Got anything besides that hammer?
It's time to Chau-down!
You want to fight Old Scotty P?
Slice!
You need to respect your elders!
All's fair in love and...
War!
Om.
Rocket punch!
Gordon!
Ramona!
Scott!
Ramona, let's hit him together!
Wait.
You need to let me live my life!
If I do, you'll end up where I ended up.
Alone.
Alone in a room for ten years!
That was your choice! Let me make my own!
I'm you!
Scott!
What if he's right?
He's you.
Do I want to date that guy?
You think I want to become that guy?
I won't!
Scott, how can you be sure?
{n8}Ten years!
Ten years!
Not even a text?
Then Wallace tells me you're training to go back in time and fight yourself?
Well, not just myself. A lot of people and a robot.
We hit one rough patch, and you go completely insane?
Why are you in the past fighting all of these people...
And a robot.
...when you could've been fighting for us?
We were over?
I just needed some space, dude.
Well, what have I been doing for the past ten years?
Giving you space!
Okay, wait. Back up. Are you saying that we weren't over?
Are you saying that you still loved me?
At the time, yes.
Does that mean that we can get back together?
Just like that, after ten years?
No, dude.
Well, that makes sense, I guess.
So what about me?
You're telling me I should just skate on?
Call it another failed experiment?
Would that come as any surprise?
Go ahead, both of you, run! Run away from the thing that you love.
I'm done running.
You. I choose you.
Super Ramona!
It's just like...
- Sonic the Hedgehog 3! - Sonic 2! I mean, 3!
Wow! This one's just an idiot kid.
And this one is a real mess.
- Kick his ass, Super Ramona! - No.
It's never too late to clean up a mess.
But I will send him home so he can get started.
Wait, me? Who? No! Wait, I'm...
Well, this is great.
Not!
The me who left him and the me who just met him...
We're the same.
I see that now. It's all the same.
It's all beautiful.
Beautiful.
Wow!
Hey. Because I'll have a lot of trouble saying it later, let me say it now.
I love you, Scott.
And I run away from the thing that I love.
But what I've done in the past doesn't have to define me.
Help me keep remembering that, okay?
Thank you!
Killer work! You crushed that!
- Yeah! - The Bad Boy of Broadway.
- Tremendous. - Spectacular.
Not bad.
Sparks.
Handled!
They tried to bomb the theater, sir.
We don't use the b-word on opening night, girls.
Why'd you do it, Gordon?
I don't know.
Maybe I am just evil.
I only wanted revenge for what you took from me.
Buddy, you think I enjoy being a CEO?
I've lost billions!
Is there any way you would take the empire back?
Just let me keep my show, and the rest of it is yours.
Woo-hoo!
- You were the best Scott of them all. - I like Matthew now.
Yeah, it sucked.
Yeah, all right! What do we... Okay! Is it over?
We are Sex Bob-Omb! One! Two! Three! Four!
Hey, hey
Can't find my way around
When the sun comes up, I'm down
- Hey, hey - Hey, hey
I feel fine
Hey, hey
- I feel fine - I don't feel good
Wow! It's sounding great.
See? We don't suck.
Not since Knives joined the band.
All right, fine. We don't suck. But we are late. Come on, Knives!
Yay!
That's lunch, people!
All right, slow down!
We're making an action movie, not living one.
Have you seen him Tokyo Drift that thing?
Young Neil is off the chain!
I'm a speed demon.
Vegan power!
Superstar barista, Lucas Lee, at your service.
Whatever.
- Whatever? - Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, it's so annoying.
But the tips are good, and I do get to look at his butt all day.
Yeah, I'm spending the money I got for starring as myself
in this major Canadian motion picture that never got made.
Un café, s'il vous plaît.
Même pour moi.
Another Canadian abroad? Our French is terrible.
Sparks are real?
I've liked you for a thousand years A thousand years
- I've liked you for a thousand years - I can't wait until I see you
A thousand years
I've liked you for a thousand years A thousand years
Time for the real game to begin.
The Goose is loose. Honk-honk, fu**ers.
Toronto, Canada.
Not too long ago.
Scott Pilgrim Takes Off!
Fight!
Scott Pilgrim.
Ramona Flowers.
Matthew Patel.
Wallace Wells.
Lucas Lee.
Stacey Pilgrim.
Envy Adams.
Kim Pine.
Julie Powers.
Todd Ingram.
Gideon Graves.
Young Neil.
Stephen Stills.
Roxie Richter.
Knives Chau.
Scott Pilgrim Takes Off!