1 00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,304 Fer what? 2 00:00:47,305 --> 00:00:48,705 Starting a brawl in the stands. 3 00:00:48,706 --> 00:00:50,140 It was clearly our booster club. 4 00:00:50,141 --> 00:00:52,676 Everybody knows the Bluester Club's ready to rip. 5 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,177 You can't suspend him for the final game 6 00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,612 for something that happened in the stands. 7 00:00:55,613 --> 00:00:57,914 Yes, we can, that's why we're here. Ready to vote? 8 00:00:57,915 --> 00:00:59,616 All right, hang on. Let's do this diplomatically. 9 00:00:59,617 --> 00:01:01,184 Don't be such a fuckin' nerd, Gord. 10 00:01:01,185 --> 00:01:02,552 - Shoresy! - We've got a rep present 11 00:01:02,553 --> 00:01:04,521 from all participating teams. I think the Bulldogs 12 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,789 should be able to plead their case, 13 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,023 we'll all get a chance to weigh in, 14 00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:08,759 and from there, we'll make a decision. Cool? 15 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,193 - Cool. - Cool. 16 00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:11,995 - Fellas? - Pardon? 17 00:01:11,996 --> 00:01:13,997 - Moving right along. - All right, Shoresy. 18 00:01:13,998 --> 00:01:16,199 - She reps the Bulldogs. - I rep the Bulldogs. 19 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,602 Then rep the Bulldogs. We've got a final to play. 20 00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:20,504 Here are the facts. The Bulldogs and the Hunt 21 00:01:20,505 --> 00:01:23,140 were playing a hockey game last night. The Bulldogs won. 22 00:01:23,141 --> 00:01:25,242 The Hunt are now eliminated from the tournament, 23 00:01:25,243 --> 00:01:26,943 and the Bulldogs advance to the final 24 00:01:26,944 --> 00:01:28,745 against Les Rapides de Rawdon. 25 00:01:28,746 --> 00:01:30,313 - That's it? - That's all that matters. 26 00:01:30,314 --> 00:01:32,883 - Delaney, we'll go to you. - I want him drug tested. 27 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,351 - Fuck you, Shoresy. - Look at him. 28 00:01:34,352 --> 00:01:35,719 He's fuckin' sniffin' yak. 29 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,220 We were up 3-0. Shoresy started 30 00:01:37,221 --> 00:01:39,222 a brawl in the stands that affected the game on the ice. 31 00:01:39,223 --> 00:01:41,391 - Physically impossible. - They came back and won. 32 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,727 Sure that wasn't an acid flashback, ya fuckin' loser? 33 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,428 It was a clear attempt to disrupt the game. 34 00:01:45,429 --> 00:01:47,097 Bit of a sour grapes bias here, people. 35 00:01:47,098 --> 00:01:48,765 We had to pause play for 20 minutes. 36 00:01:48,766 --> 00:01:50,200 Well, you're lucky you didn't K-hole, Delaney. 37 00:01:50,201 --> 00:01:51,735 All right, so you'd vote to suspend him 38 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,404 for the final game? - Yes. 39 00:01:53,771 --> 00:01:55,906 - Sly? - No one's ever given a shit 40 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,174 about senior hockey. 41 00:01:57,175 --> 00:01:59,075 This tournament's internationally broadcasted. 42 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,844 He goes into the stands and starts a fight 43 00:02:00,845 --> 00:02:02,112 in the semi-final game. 44 00:02:02,113 --> 00:02:04,748 You are so fuckin' stunned, Sylvestri. Wow. 45 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,017 - He didn't throw a punch. - He threw a beer. 46 00:02:07,018 --> 00:02:09,452 - A beer got spilt. - It's a bad look for all of us. 47 00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:11,221 You were too dirty to play for Boston. 48 00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:12,823 Yeah, check your own backyard, bitch. 49 00:02:12,824 --> 00:02:14,457 I don't think he should play in the final. 50 00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:16,626 That's two for suspend him. Freisens? 51 00:02:16,627 --> 00:02:18,528 - Pardon? - Go ahead. 52 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:19,463 Where? 53 00:02:19,464 --> 00:02:20,864 I mean, it's your turn to speak. 54 00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:22,599 - Who? - Either or. 55 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,767 Or what? 56 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,435 I mean either one of you can speak. 57 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,370 - Okay. - So, go ahead. 58 00:02:27,371 --> 00:02:29,240 - Where? - Okay, new rule. 59 00:02:30,107 --> 00:02:33,577 You can't vote if you can't count to say, 25. 60 00:02:33,578 --> 00:02:35,312 - I actually agree. - You can't vote 61 00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:37,781 if you don't know what animal goes "oink". 62 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,382 Let's keep this moving. 63 00:02:39,383 --> 00:02:40,917 I won't keep you all in suspense here. 64 00:02:40,918 --> 00:02:43,220 My vote's to suspend him. - You're undefeated. 65 00:02:43,221 --> 00:02:45,255 - So are you. - Do you really need this advantage? 66 00:02:45,256 --> 00:02:47,524 No, but I want it. 67 00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:48,825 All right then. 68 00:02:48,826 --> 00:02:50,427 Shoresy, you're suspended. - Fer what?! 69 00:02:50,428 --> 00:02:52,462 Shoresy, you got knocked out cold a few days ago. 70 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,197 - You'd be stupid to play, man. - He knows. 71 00:02:54,198 --> 00:02:55,899 That he's stupid?: Fuck you, Delaney. 72 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,200 You're really putting yourself at risk 73 00:02:57,201 --> 00:02:58,301 by playing so soon after. 74 00:02:58,302 --> 00:03:00,136 Don't be such a fuckin' pussy, Gord. 75 00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:02,339 - Why do you want this so badly? - Because it's the final 76 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,208 game of the tournament! - Shoresy. 77 00:03:07,712 --> 00:03:10,248 And it's his final game ever. 78 00:03:13,751 --> 00:03:15,218 I'm Jory Jordan, and this is the Sudbury 79 00:03:15,219 --> 00:03:16,953 Kids Sports Report with breaking news. 80 00:03:16,954 --> 00:03:18,955 {\an8}Marie-Mai is the hottest woman I've ever seen. 81 00:03:18,956 --> 00:03:21,124 {\an8}Also, the worst player on the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs 82 00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:23,093 {\an8}will retire after playing his last game in the upcoming 83 00:03:23,094 --> 00:03:24,294 {\an8}tournament final. 84 00:03:24,295 --> 00:03:25,662 Marie-Mai, I'm in love with her. 85 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,230 I'm cut off my own arm in love with her. 86 00:03:27,231 --> 00:03:28,865 I'll never forget the first time I saw that woman. 87 00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:30,767 Her beauty was shocking. Her image became so clearly 88 00:03:30,768 --> 00:03:32,302 etched in my mind, I could close my eyes 89 00:03:32,303 --> 00:03:34,604 and masturbate to it. I could. 90 00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,007 But instead I masturbate to what every normal teenager does, 91 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,442 hard-core pornography found for free on the internet. 92 00:03:39,443 --> 00:03:41,077 I know what you're thinkin'. 93 00:03:41,078 --> 00:03:42,879 "Bet I know what he'd like to do to her." 94 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,314 While internet porn has shown me the thrill 95 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:45,916 of sticking your entire fist in someone's mouth 96 00:03:45,917 --> 00:03:47,517 while they shove their entire fist up your ass. 97 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,185 If given the opportunity, I'd just like to tell Marie-Mai 98 00:03:49,186 --> 00:03:51,154 how highly I regard her. Aside from being beautiful 99 00:03:51,155 --> 00:03:53,223 and multi-talented, she's a devoted mother, 100 00:03:53,224 --> 00:03:55,525 philanthropist, and role model to young people everywhere. 101 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,794 So, what I'd like to do to her? Look her in the eye, 102 00:03:57,795 --> 00:04:00,064 shake her hand, and tell her I respect her. 103 00:04:00,665 --> 00:04:01,998 But here are the wives of the Rawdon Rapids 104 00:04:01,999 --> 00:04:03,733 starting line-up, and what I'd like to do to them. 105 00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:05,001 Chloe Deschamps. 106 00:04:05,002 --> 00:04:06,369 Choking is popular in pornography. 107 00:04:06,370 --> 00:04:07,971 Someone's always choking someone. Though I've never had 108 00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,940 the desire to choke or be choked. Watching porn 109 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,808 has taught me that Chloe most certainly has. 110 00:04:11,809 --> 00:04:13,209 Genevieve Lachappelle. 111 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,544 I saw a video recently of a man 112 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,645 spitting into a woman's mouth, 113 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:16,913 which she appeared to enjoy immensely. 114 00:04:16,914 --> 00:04:18,381 I can only assume Genevieve would too. 115 00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,083 It's always good to say something degrading. 116 00:04:20,084 --> 00:04:21,885 I was raised not to speak disrespectfully to women, 117 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,453 but perhaps Manon could say to me... 118 00:04:25,589 --> 00:04:26,890 Which loosely translates to, 119 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,759 "Show me your hot hobbit balls." 120 00:04:29,427 --> 00:04:31,828 Coralie Montagne. Let's try a little role-play. 121 00:04:31,829 --> 00:04:33,330 You be the saucy older teacher, 122 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:35,565 I'll be the much younger student who, judging by his runty frame, 123 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,368 shouldn't have a gigantic penis. But does! 124 00:04:38,369 --> 00:04:40,136 That is so dirty. 125 00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:42,205 The dirtiest player in the tournament, 126 00:04:42,206 --> 00:04:43,640 as advertised. 127 00:04:43,641 --> 00:04:46,409 Golfed in the ankle one game. Knocked out cold the next. 128 00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,411 It's no wonder Shoresy's hangin' 'em up after the final. 129 00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:50,480 - He's too old for this. - RA? 130 00:04:50,481 --> 00:04:52,682 - Who fuckin' cares? - Well, judging by our growing 131 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,285 viewership of the National Senior Tournament broadcast, 132 00:04:55,286 --> 00:04:57,287 a decent amount of people. - Woopty fuckin' doo. 133 00:04:57,288 --> 00:04:59,389 Listen, I'm just gonna say what everyone else is thinking. 134 00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:01,591 It's the physicality. - I can't believe the amount 135 00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,994 of fighting in this tournament. - People tune in for it. 136 00:05:03,995 --> 00:05:05,028 They can't help it. 137 00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:06,329 But these are championship games. 138 00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:07,964 It's senior whale shit hockey. 139 00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,132 It's bush league. 140 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,266 Who can complain? 141 00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,701 Every game has a handful of big goals, 142 00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,903 a bunch of big hits, and a fight. 143 00:05:13,904 --> 00:05:15,338 - Two. - Two fights? 144 00:05:15,339 --> 00:05:16,940 Per game. On average. 145 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,141 Okay, that is bush league. 146 00:05:18,142 --> 00:05:19,709 There's a national title on the line. 147 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,878 And they've all gotta go to work in the morning. 148 00:05:21,879 --> 00:05:23,813 Either way, this is hockey the way a lot of people 149 00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:26,182 remember it, and how many people still prefer it. 150 00:05:26,183 --> 00:05:27,650 - More than you'd think. - I'm from Boston, 151 00:05:27,651 --> 00:05:29,619 you're preachin' to the choir. - Tonight, the host 152 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,254 Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs face off 153 00:05:31,255 --> 00:05:33,289 in the National Senior Tournament final 154 00:05:33,290 --> 00:05:34,924 against Les Rapides de Rawdon, 155 00:05:34,925 --> 00:05:37,227 owned by Quebec pop icon, Marie-Mai, 156 00:05:37,228 --> 00:05:40,330 who has declared that if her team wins the fights, 157 00:05:40,331 --> 00:05:42,699 they win the game. As for JJ Frankie JJ... 158 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,634 He's the only one of them that isn't hurt. 159 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:45,802 {\an8}- Physically. - For now. 160 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:47,938 After this week's explosive 161 00:05:47,939 --> 00:05:49,139 exposé on Hey Vous Autres, 162 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,707 it's safe to say that the big man 163 00:05:50,708 --> 00:05:53,576 will have a very big target on his back. 164 00:05:53,577 --> 00:05:55,412 Big as the moon. 165 00:05:55,413 --> 00:05:57,714 So big, in fact, that a single Frankie fart 166 00:05:57,715 --> 00:06:00,750 can smell like up to four kinds of fast food. 167 00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:05,021 - Yes. - I switched from Lucky Charms 168 00:06:05,022 --> 00:06:07,290 to Denver omelettes for breakfast 169 00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:09,626 and have much more energy in the morning. 170 00:06:09,627 --> 00:06:11,027 Well, there's a W for you, Nat. 171 00:06:11,028 --> 00:06:12,662 And don't forget what you guys learned 172 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,065 at the Q&A webinar. - And hey, you parents, too, 173 00:06:15,066 --> 00:06:17,133 I don't care whose birthday party it is, 174 00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:19,402 there's such a thing as too many two-liters. 175 00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:23,273 All right, final words of advice for the kids? 176 00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:24,941 Hitch, why don't we start with you? 177 00:06:24,942 --> 00:06:27,277 I'm not tryin' to tell ya to go out and punch no one 178 00:06:27,278 --> 00:06:29,045 in the head, but if ya does, 179 00:06:29,046 --> 00:06:30,914 ya might get a bit more room out there next time 180 00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:33,617 ya has the puck, b'ys. - There are girls here, too. 181 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,518 - Are there? - Yes. 182 00:06:35,519 --> 00:06:37,120 - Which one's a girl? - Shoresy. 183 00:06:37,121 --> 00:06:38,222 Dolo. 184 00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,333 {\an8}Goody. 185 00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:51,968 Make a good first impression 186 00:06:51,969 --> 00:06:53,670 and always leave a lasting one. 187 00:06:53,671 --> 00:06:55,171 Nice. Goody. 188 00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:57,040 - He stole it from somewhere. - No, I didn't. 189 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,341 - Yes, you did. - He's smart, wow. 190 00:06:58,342 --> 00:06:59,576 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 191 00:06:59,577 --> 00:07:01,311 Well, as for me, kids, I just say wanna say... 192 00:07:01,312 --> 00:07:03,313 Michaels, I'm just gonna jump in here real quick. 193 00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:06,382 Kids, you got a million people in your ear 194 00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:07,917 trying to make it about a million things 195 00:07:07,918 --> 00:07:09,219 other than hockey. 196 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,222 Whether they got ya comin' to the rink to compete 197 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,725 or to play, or to participate, 198 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:17,995 it's always more fun when you win. 199 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:21,364 You're gonna lose more times than you can remember. 200 00:07:21,365 --> 00:07:23,801 You'll never forget when you win. 201 00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:26,803 - Thanks, Shoresy. - Don't be losers. 202 00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:28,171 Okay. 203 00:07:28,172 --> 00:07:30,473 Do you wanna be a winner or do you wanna be a loser? 204 00:07:30,474 --> 00:07:32,008 - That's it for our seminar... - Go win! 205 00:07:32,009 --> 00:07:35,612 If you do, you'll finally get to fix your stupid haircut. 206 00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:38,916 Huh. 207 00:07:41,385 --> 00:07:42,553 Hi. Hi. 208 00:07:42,987 --> 00:07:44,355 Hi. Shoresy. 209 00:07:45,489 --> 00:07:47,824 Is it cool if I call you that? 210 00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,092 - Mm-hmm. - Everybody else 211 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,660 has been calling you that at the seminars. 212 00:07:50,661 --> 00:07:52,195 - Mm-hmm. - And the webinar. 213 00:07:52,196 --> 00:07:53,530 And the webinar. 214 00:07:53,531 --> 00:07:55,932 Your audience doubled, then tripled with these talks. 215 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,634 Must feel good. - For the community, 216 00:07:57,635 --> 00:08:00,637 by the community. - Nice of you guys to give back. 217 00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:02,038 That's what hockey players do. 218 00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:04,507 You know, I've been thinking about something you said. 219 00:08:04,508 --> 00:08:06,142 How people are trying to make hockey 220 00:08:06,143 --> 00:08:09,212 about everything other than hockey. I agree. 221 00:08:09,213 --> 00:08:11,114 Yeah, things are getting a little bit weird, eh? 222 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,649 Everybody needs to stop being weird. 223 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:14,585 Just stop being weird. 224 00:08:15,052 --> 00:08:17,720 You know, the kids like you. They listen to you. 225 00:08:17,721 --> 00:08:19,956 They shouldn't listen to Michaels. Seriously. 226 00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:24,295 I'd like them to listen to you more. 227 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:27,997 We're starting a hockey school with a select group in Sudbury. 228 00:08:27,998 --> 00:08:30,600 You know, trying to get the kids focused on the game again. 229 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,670 Try to get them focused on winning. 230 00:08:33,237 --> 00:08:35,472 And we'd like you to work with them. 231 00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:38,242 Think that's something you'd be into? 232 00:08:40,945 --> 00:08:42,446 No. 233 00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:45,048 Hmm. Okay. Well, 234 00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:48,619 think about it for a while and I'll come find you. 235 00:08:49,853 --> 00:08:52,055 I'm Jory Jordan and this the Sudbury 236 00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,590 Kids Sports Report Live. 237 00:08:53,591 --> 00:08:56,459 Shoresy, quick word for the SKSR Live? 238 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,528 Well, my ankle's killing me, but fuck it, 239 00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:01,097 this is probably the last time I'll ever have to do this, Jory, 240 00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:03,066 so let's go. - It's good to be with you, 241 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,567 Shoresy, I think a lot of people would've just 242 00:09:04,568 --> 00:09:05,802 ended it all by now. - Maybe. 243 00:09:05,803 --> 00:09:07,403 I can only assume you're still reeling from 244 00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:08,771 the NOSHO Cup loss? - Lil' bit. 245 00:09:08,772 --> 00:09:10,273 No inclination to neck a bottle of pills 246 00:09:10,274 --> 00:09:11,908 or make some toast in a bathtub? - Nope. 247 00:09:11,909 --> 00:09:14,477 You let down an entire town, your teammates, and yourself. 248 00:09:14,478 --> 00:09:16,279 What advice do you have for other balding, 40-year-old 249 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,547 losers going through tough times? 250 00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,382 - Hang in there, kid. - A positive attitude 251 00:09:19,383 --> 00:09:21,251 is essential for any captain. Tell me, how do you manage 252 00:09:21,252 --> 00:09:23,019 to stay strong while falling short of expectations 253 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,854 over and over? - Well, just gotta pull yourself 254 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,123 up by the bootstraps. - I've heard your recent play 255 00:09:27,124 --> 00:09:28,591 called everything from pitiful to pathetic. 256 00:09:28,592 --> 00:09:30,026 But it's not as pitiful or pathetic 257 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,527 as Frankie's recent subtweeting at Marie-Mai. 258 00:09:31,528 --> 00:09:34,697 - Oh no, what's he saying now? - Today's tweets include, 259 00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:36,566 "Thanks for reminding me why I never open up." 260 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,067 "All I wanted was to be 261 00:09:38,068 --> 00:09:39,602 somebody's somebody." - What? No. 262 00:09:39,603 --> 00:09:42,038 And finally, "I gave her all of me and left none for myself." 263 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,906 - What a loser! - That's all for the Sudbury 264 00:09:43,907 --> 00:09:45,408 Kids Sports Report. - Hey! You really 265 00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:46,876 like this Marie-Mai, eh? 266 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,845 She takes my breath away. With her image. 267 00:09:48,846 --> 00:09:50,847 Though I do also wonder if she'd like to take my breath 268 00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,448 away with her hands. - Oh, my God. 269 00:09:52,449 --> 00:09:54,317 That's all for the Sudbury Kids Sports Report Live. 270 00:09:54,318 --> 00:09:56,319 - Oh, my God. - We out? 271 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,188 Hey man, thanks. - Thanks? 272 00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:01,157 A lot of people watch when I have you on. 273 00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:04,027 I'm running a business here and you're good for business. 274 00:10:04,028 --> 00:10:05,796 So, thank you. 275 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:14,470 He didn't say that. 276 00:10:14,471 --> 00:10:16,506 - Fine, he didn't say it. - I don't believe it. 277 00:10:16,507 --> 00:10:17,941 I don't care. 278 00:10:18,442 --> 00:10:19,709 We need Frankie tonight. 279 00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,911 Well, Frankie's got a mental battle to win. 280 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:25,783 - How you feeling? - About what? 281 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:28,385 How you feeling? 282 00:10:29,219 --> 00:10:31,654 Oh, I could really use a shoulder right now, Nat. 283 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:33,089 Thanks for asking. - Oh, shut up. 284 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,424 There's a lot of things coming up. 285 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,025 You know, a lot of emotions. - Okay, okay. Okay! 286 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,227 I need somewhere to put it. You know, I don't wanna just 287 00:10:38,228 --> 00:10:39,762 bury it like I do everything else. 288 00:10:41,298 --> 00:10:42,965 Well, I'm gonna follow Jory's lead, 289 00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:45,468 and I'm gonna say thank you right now, too. 290 00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:46,603 Fer what? 291 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:49,872 For always finding a way to contribute. 292 00:10:49,873 --> 00:10:52,208 For dragging this team into the fight. 293 00:10:52,209 --> 00:10:54,143 For giving back to the community. 294 00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,612 Well, I know how much that fuckin' means to you. 295 00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:57,780 And for the Bluester Club. 296 00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:59,917 Well, the Bluester Club's ready to rip. 297 00:11:00,884 --> 00:11:03,120 You inspire our guys, man. 298 00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:05,054 You motivate them. 299 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,656 You cook for them. 300 00:11:06,657 --> 00:11:08,491 What's good for the goose. 301 00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:10,160 Thank you. 302 00:11:18,569 --> 00:11:20,136 You gonna cry? 303 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,405 You are. You're welling up. I can see it. 304 00:11:22,406 --> 00:11:24,540 - Fuck you, Shoresy. - You can't hide that from me. 305 00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:27,276 Come on, sit down, we'll let it all up together. 306 00:11:27,277 --> 00:11:29,479 We need to stop compartmentalizing. 307 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,914 - You've got press. - Yew! 308 00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:33,649 This is it.: You look this good 309 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,784 for all your interviews? 310 00:11:34,785 --> 00:11:36,586 I took a bit of extra time for this one. 311 00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:38,688 My God, woman, you look fantastic. 312 00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:40,223 - Thank you. - How're we gonna get 313 00:11:40,224 --> 00:11:42,325 anything fuckin' done? - Don't worry, I'm a professional. 314 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,893 - Are you? Huh? - Huh? 315 00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,294 A professional with her feet 316 00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:47,029 touching my feet while she's at work? 317 00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,798 How long did you plan on playing? 318 00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:50,666 So long as I can fog a mirror. 319 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,702 Well, Bobby Baun played on a broken leg. 320 00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:55,071 Zdeno Chara played with a broken jaw. 321 00:11:55,072 --> 00:11:57,473 - Like, wired shut? - If he puked, he would've died. 322 00:11:57,474 --> 00:11:59,475 - Why would he puke? - Well, there's a lot of fuckin' 323 00:11:59,476 --> 00:12:01,644 ugly dudes in the show. - Why would he put himself 324 00:12:01,645 --> 00:12:03,746 at risk like that? - 'Cause hockey players 325 00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,481 don't give a fuck. - Apparently. 326 00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:08,017 He would've played with an eye hangin' out of his skull 327 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,786 or a nut hangin' out of his sack. 328 00:12:09,787 --> 00:12:11,488 What're you gonna miss the most? 329 00:12:13,891 --> 00:12:15,591 - The room. - Yeah? 330 00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:17,593 - The boys. - In that order. 331 00:12:17,594 --> 00:12:19,362 Well, and being able to just haul off 332 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,063 and punch some dude in the back of the head 333 00:12:21,064 --> 00:12:22,298 if I don't like what he's doin'. 334 00:12:22,299 --> 00:12:24,234 Think you'll be happy without hockey? 335 00:12:26,437 --> 00:12:28,405 Will you be happy? 336 00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:05,702 ♪ You'll be happy in a little while ♪ 337 00:14:07,771 --> 00:14:11,741 ♪ You'll be happy in a little while ♪ 338 00:14:11,742 --> 00:14:14,110 ♪ So they tell ya ♪ 339 00:14:14,111 --> 00:14:18,314 ♪ You'll be happier in a little while ♪ 340 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,950 ♪ So they tell ya ♪ 341 00:14:20,951 --> 00:14:24,921 ♪ You'll be happier in a little while ♪ 342 00:14:24,922 --> 00:14:27,223 ♪ Oh, they tell ya ♪ 343 00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:31,227 ♪ You'll be happier in little while ♪ 344 00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:25,015 Come on, come on, come on! 345 00:15:34,992 --> 00:15:36,593 I wanted the first one. 346 00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:39,429 Hey, hey. 347 00:15:44,968 --> 00:15:48,004 Take it easy. Two-goal lead is the worst lead in hockey. 348 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,474 I'd rather be up two than down two. 349 00:15:51,475 --> 00:15:52,875 It's the fastest game we've seen. 350 00:15:52,876 --> 00:15:54,076 Don't tell that to the Italians. 351 00:15:54,077 --> 00:15:55,277 - I won't. - Can tell 'em 352 00:15:55,278 --> 00:15:56,512 they're the ugliest, though. 353 00:15:56,513 --> 00:15:58,147 Rawdon's shooting everything tonight. 354 00:15:58,148 --> 00:15:59,515 I don't even wanna know the shots. 355 00:15:59,516 --> 00:16:01,317 You've had plenty of scoring chances, 356 00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:02,718 but can't seem to find the twine. 357 00:16:02,719 --> 00:16:04,754 Well, French goalies are really good. 358 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,589 What needs to change in the second period? 359 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,024 - Jim. - Yeah? 360 00:16:08,025 --> 00:16:08,992 - Jim. - Yes. 361 00:16:08,993 --> 00:16:10,092 - Jim. - Ready to swing 362 00:16:10,093 --> 00:16:11,127 the momentum here, Sanger. 363 00:16:11,128 --> 00:16:12,095 New period, boys. 364 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,462 You gotta set the fuckin' tone! 365 00:16:13,463 --> 00:16:15,331 - Ready to go. - B'ys they're shootin' everything. 366 00:16:15,332 --> 00:16:17,466 I never see a team with so many injuries as this, 367 00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:19,069 but we gotta be blockin' shots. 368 00:16:20,704 --> 00:16:22,705 {\an8}Help out Michaels, boys. Get the body in front of it. 369 00:16:22,706 --> 00:16:23,806 Yeah, but we need shots. 370 00:16:23,807 --> 00:16:24,940 Boys, we're not gonna win this game 371 00:16:24,941 --> 00:16:26,776 unless we score some fuckin' goals. 372 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:27,943 Gotta find a fuckin' way. 373 00:16:27,944 --> 00:16:29,579 Frankie, you gotta find a way, big boy. 374 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:32,848 {\an8}Let's get one here and keep going. 375 00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,450 I know you're all hurt, but we need to see 376 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,185 everything you've got for 40 more minutes. 377 00:16:36,186 --> 00:16:37,853 Come on, boys, let's fuckin' see it, huh? 378 00:16:37,854 --> 00:16:39,789 Get the body in front of it out there, b'ys! 379 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,124 - Let's fuckin' go! - Set the tone. 380 00:17:43,286 --> 00:17:44,387 Hey! 381 00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:51,628 Fuck! 382 00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:44,881 Shoresy! 383 00:18:51,888 --> 00:18:52,989 Yo! 384 00:18:58,562 --> 00:18:59,863 How bad is it? 385 00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:02,031 - Doesn't matter. - No excuses. 386 00:19:02,032 --> 00:19:03,967 Seriously, how banged up are we? 387 00:19:04,734 --> 00:19:05,734 Doesn't matter. 388 00:19:05,735 --> 00:19:06,969 Never let them know you're hurt. 389 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:08,905 How are we gonna score four? 390 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:12,843 Gonna find that fuck you attitude. 391 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,588 You keep the puck out. 392 00:19:25,589 --> 00:19:27,623 Need you to keep the fuckin' puck out. Can you do it? 393 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,291 Just worry about the guy at the other end. 394 00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:30,693 I got him. Don't worry about him. 395 00:19:30,694 --> 00:19:31,961 Can you keep the fuckin' puck out? 396 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,864 - Yeah. - Keep the fuckin' puck out. 397 00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:37,399 Need five fuckin' goals, boys. 398 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,603 Need five fuckin' goals here. I know everybody's hurt. 399 00:19:40,604 --> 00:19:43,472 We need five fuckin' goals. Who wants 'em? 400 00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:45,175 Who wants the goals? Hitch. 401 00:19:46,943 --> 00:19:48,544 You ever been on a team this good? 402 00:19:48,545 --> 00:19:50,246 - No. - Get one for us. 403 00:19:50,247 --> 00:19:51,314 Dolo. 404 00:19:52,115 --> 00:19:53,916 You ever win a national title? - Nah, bro. 405 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,317 Get one for us. 406 00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:56,318 Goody. 407 00:19:56,786 --> 00:19:59,355 You ever been on the best team in the entire fuckin' country? 408 00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:01,190 - Not yet, Shoresy. - Get one for us. 409 00:20:01,191 --> 00:20:04,460 Fish, you'll never be back here again, ya fuckin' loser. 410 00:20:04,461 --> 00:20:05,794 You know it. - I know. 411 00:20:05,795 --> 00:20:07,130 Get one for us. 412 00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:08,798 Hey, big boy. 413 00:20:09,399 --> 00:20:11,600 Everybody's playin' through something here. 414 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:12,902 You gotta play through it. 415 00:20:14,371 --> 00:20:15,671 {\an8}You gotta battle. 416 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,507 {\an8}Whatever's fuckin' goin' on in Quebec, forget it. 417 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,076 You gotta play through it. 418 00:20:21,077 --> 00:20:23,846 We need ya. We need ya here. 419 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,614 We need ya. 420 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:26,949 Come on. 421 00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,101 How's your hand? 422 00:21:19,102 --> 00:21:20,569 How's your hand, ya fuckin' idiot? 423 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,505 Hey, how's your hand feel on the back of my fuckin' helmet? 424 00:21:23,506 --> 00:21:25,574 I didn't drop 'em. They both dropped 'em. 425 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,177 I didn't drop 'em. I never fuckin' dropped 'em. 426 00:21:28,178 --> 00:21:29,845 I still have my fuckin' gloves on. 427 00:21:29,846 --> 00:21:32,515 I didn't drop 'em. They both dropped 'em. 428 00:24:55,351 --> 00:24:56,418 How was the two-day bender? 429 00:24:56,419 --> 00:24:57,920 You'll have to ask someone else. 430 00:24:57,921 --> 00:24:59,922 - Sorry I couldn't join. - Too old for this. 431 00:24:59,923 --> 00:25:02,324 - I know I am. - I meant I'm too old for this. 432 00:25:02,325 --> 00:25:04,092 So, break it down for me. You win the game, 433 00:25:04,093 --> 00:25:05,861 you raise the trophy. - In our own barn. 434 00:25:05,862 --> 00:25:08,664 Off the ice and into the room. Champagne showers? 435 00:25:08,665 --> 00:25:09,865 - Mm-hmm. - Then what? 436 00:25:26,449 --> 00:25:27,482 - Looks good. - Thanks. 437 00:25:27,483 --> 00:25:29,251 - Then what? - Quick chat with BROdude 438 00:25:29,252 --> 00:25:30,719 and off to supper where Ol' Gorgeous 439 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,221 did not disappoint. 440 00:25:32,222 --> 00:25:33,589 I love that about hockey players. 441 00:25:33,590 --> 00:25:35,357 You all spend the week trying to kill each other, 442 00:25:35,358 --> 00:25:36,925 but there's almost never any carryover 443 00:25:36,926 --> 00:25:39,195 after the final buzzer. A handshake, and it's done. 444 00:25:39,796 --> 00:25:41,897 Don't want the beers gettin' warm. 445 00:26:11,728 --> 00:26:14,496 - Well, it's all pretty cute. - Oh, I know that look. 446 00:26:14,497 --> 00:26:16,331 - Do ya? - Like you wanna take me home. 447 00:26:16,332 --> 00:26:18,767 Like I wanna take you home and grab you by the honker? 448 00:26:18,768 --> 00:26:20,002 Like you wanna take me home 449 00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:21,938 and grab me right by the ding-dong. 450 00:26:24,641 --> 00:26:27,342 Wait, what was the quick chat with BROdude all about? 451 00:26:27,343 --> 00:26:28,677 Just... 452 00:26:28,678 --> 00:26:29,945 crushing beers! 453 00:26:29,946 --> 00:26:31,713 Hey, Shoresy. 454 00:26:31,714 --> 00:26:33,415 Can I talk to you for a sec? Okay. 455 00:26:33,416 --> 00:26:35,083 - Nice hair. - Yeah, Hitch barely looks 456 00:26:35,084 --> 00:26:36,652 like a fuckin' idiot at all now. 457 00:26:36,653 --> 00:26:38,287 Yeah, that's a good look for you. 458 00:26:38,288 --> 00:26:39,788 If it weren't for his face, he'd barely 459 00:26:39,789 --> 00:26:41,423 look like a fuckin' idiot at all. 460 00:26:41,424 --> 00:26:43,225 - What's with the new look? - Oh, we were just 461 00:26:43,226 --> 00:26:44,593 being degenerates. We cut off our hair 462 00:26:44,594 --> 00:26:45,994 and couldn't fix it until we won it all. 463 00:26:45,995 --> 00:26:47,663 - It's a good deal. - It's a better deal 464 00:26:47,664 --> 00:26:49,097 if you're not a degenerate at all. 465 00:26:49,098 --> 00:26:50,365 But I wouldn't say it's fixed. 466 00:26:50,366 --> 00:26:51,968 Get the fuck outta here, Michaels. 467 00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:55,804 So, you're done as a player. 468 00:26:55,805 --> 00:26:57,673 Yeah, did ya wanna say, "Sorry to hear"? 469 00:26:57,674 --> 00:27:00,476 - I wanna offer you a job. - No then, eh? 470 00:27:00,843 --> 00:27:03,312 How would you like to be an analyst for BROdude Hockey? 471 00:27:05,748 --> 00:27:07,182 They want you to be an analyst? 472 00:27:07,183 --> 00:27:09,051 Yeah, said they wanted a really good-lookin' guy. 473 00:27:09,052 --> 00:27:10,585 I dunno. - Really. 474 00:27:10,586 --> 00:27:11,987 I guess they were havin' a hard time 475 00:27:11,988 --> 00:27:13,922 finding really smart, good-lookin' guys. I dunno. 476 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,457 How much are they gonna offer you? 477 00:27:15,458 --> 00:27:18,093 - Why? - Because I have to match it. 478 00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:19,629 Fer what? 479 00:27:20,396 --> 00:27:22,198 You're gonna coach.