1 00:02:25,064 --> 00:02:27,275 You think this was my idea? 2 00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:29,569 No, there's nothing I can do. 3 00:02:29,652 --> 00:02:31,988 Don't shoot the messenger, man! 4 00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:33,615 I just told you. 5 00:02:33,698 --> 00:02:36,242 There's nothing we can do. It's done. 6 00:02:37,619 --> 00:02:39,204 You were serious about that track suit, eh? 7 00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,206 Stop yelling, bro. 8 00:02:41,581 --> 00:02:43,291 Shut the fuck up, Sanguinet. 9 00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:47,629 -Was that Sanguinet? -No, Han Solo. 10 00:02:47,712 --> 00:02:49,422 Where is he? The Millennium Falcon. 11 00:02:49,505 --> 00:02:51,341 -Huh? -At home. 12 00:02:51,424 --> 00:02:52,759 Why is Sanguinet at home? 13 00:02:52,842 --> 00:02:54,553 -He's not coming. -Ziig smells like 14 00:02:54,636 --> 00:02:56,138 a chicken coop, but he'll get used to it 15 00:02:56,221 --> 00:02:58,056 -just like everybody else. -Fuck you, Shoresy. 16 00:02:58,139 --> 00:02:59,766 Don't worry, Ziig. New smells just mean 17 00:02:59,849 --> 00:03:01,685 -you're becoming a woman. -Fuck you, Shoresy! 18 00:03:01,768 --> 00:03:05,230 -Why isn't Sanguinet here? -Because the NOSHO folded. 19 00:03:09,317 --> 00:03:10,152 Huh? 20 00:03:10,235 --> 00:03:11,653 The NOSHO fold... 21 00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:12,988 The entire league folded? 22 00:03:13,071 --> 00:03:14,489 There were only five teams. 23 00:03:14,572 --> 00:03:15,949 We've been hanging on by a thread for a while. 24 00:03:16,032 --> 00:03:18,159 Cunt hair away from a full on collapse. 25 00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:20,912 -The Soo Hunt folded? -They're the only ones 26 00:03:20,995 --> 00:03:22,164 that didn't, leaving them and us. 27 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:23,749 -What about Timmins? -Not enough players. 28 00:03:23,832 --> 00:03:25,417 -And North Bay? -Not enough ice. 29 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,710 -And the other Soo? -Bankrupt. 30 00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:28,336 And there's nothing you can do? 31 00:03:28,419 --> 00:03:29,671 We would have done it. 32 00:03:29,754 --> 00:03:32,298 I'm sorry, Shoresy. I tried. 33 00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,303 Look, there was a lot of buildup to get you to coach. 34 00:03:36,386 --> 00:03:37,763 We can figure something out. 35 00:03:37,846 --> 00:03:39,556 -Don't be a liar. -The transition to life 36 00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:41,391 after hockey is tough. We'll continue to be here. 37 00:03:41,474 --> 00:03:43,351 -Don't be a pussy. -Then stop standing there 38 00:03:43,434 --> 00:03:44,895 like you had a miscarriage, bitch. 39 00:03:44,978 --> 00:03:46,688 Did you not fuckin' feed it today? 40 00:03:46,771 --> 00:03:48,106 Buck up and go get your dick sucked. 41 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:49,941 Should just keep some fuckin' crumbled up treats 42 00:03:50,024 --> 00:03:52,152 -in a baggie in your desk. -No one's more disappointed 43 00:03:52,235 --> 00:03:53,612 than I am, Shoresy. 44 00:03:53,695 --> 00:03:55,947 I grew up in this league. I'm devastated it's gone. 45 00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:58,366 -It's not that. -Senior hockey is not dead. 46 00:03:58,449 --> 00:03:59,951 -Far from it. -It's not that either. 47 00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:01,953 Then what is it, slut? You pooped yourself? 48 00:04:02,036 --> 00:04:03,455 He's probably sad he won't get to wear 49 00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:04,956 that track suit again. 50 00:04:06,332 --> 00:04:07,834 Oh, my God, he is! 51 00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:09,628 It's iconic! What? 52 00:04:09,711 --> 00:04:11,880 -This blue, it's iconic. -It's a Care Bear colour. 53 00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:13,590 Don't you think I look like a celebrity? 54 00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:14,883 You don't look like a celebrity. 55 00:04:14,966 --> 00:04:16,760 -Huh? -He looks like gay Run DMC. 56 00:04:16,843 --> 00:04:19,096 Well, not like a celebrity, but like a personality? 57 00:04:19,179 --> 00:04:20,555 You look like a fuckin' popsicle. 58 00:04:20,638 --> 00:04:22,641 -Bro, more baby blue? -I think this is more 59 00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:23,892 of a robin's egg blue. 60 00:04:23,975 --> 00:04:26,311 -It's a hibiscus blue. -It's an Easter colour. 61 00:04:26,394 --> 00:04:27,562 You're a fashion guy now, eh? 62 00:04:27,645 --> 00:04:28,980 I read in Men's Health that your clothes 63 00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:30,690 are supposed to make you feel good. 64 00:04:30,773 --> 00:04:32,150 -So? -So, I'd never thought 65 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,235 of that before. 66 00:04:33,318 --> 00:04:34,152 Ten seconds out of hockey 67 00:04:34,235 --> 00:04:35,821 -and he's Coco Chanel. -He's Lady Gaga. 68 00:04:35,904 --> 00:04:37,154 He's Zendaya. 69 00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:42,452 Anik Archambault. 70 00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:43,745 The NOSHO's folding? 71 00:04:43,828 --> 00:04:45,455 Yeah, you gonna say sorry to hear? 72 00:04:45,538 --> 00:04:46,498 Come to Toronto. 73 00:04:46,581 --> 00:04:47,374 No then, eh? 74 00:04:47,457 --> 00:04:48,500 Toronto. Now. 75 00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:49,793 Why? 76 00:04:49,876 --> 00:04:51,586 We're gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. 77 00:04:51,669 --> 00:04:53,797 -Have a go. -New panel, new personalities. 78 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,799 -Refused. -Stay with us. 79 00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:57,634 Hey, Shoresy! Good to see you again. 80 00:04:57,717 --> 00:04:59,511 Hey, Mike. You try that Malaysian spot 81 00:04:59,594 --> 00:05:00,637 I was telling you about? 82 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,264 Yeah! The satay was unreal. 83 00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:03,640 Hey, try the beef rendang. 84 00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:05,642 -One topic. -One-time thing. 85 00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:06,977 Where the game was, where the game is, 86 00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:07,769 where the game's going. 87 00:05:07,852 --> 00:05:08,770 That's three topics, 88 00:05:08,853 --> 00:05:09,604 all boring. 89 00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:10,939 Welcome back, Shoresy. 90 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:12,816 Hey, Erin. You still got your kid in dance? 91 00:05:12,899 --> 00:05:13,859 She's the worst one there. 92 00:05:13,942 --> 00:05:15,569 I told ya, put her in hockey! 93 00:05:15,652 --> 00:05:16,987 You paying for it? 94 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:18,488 Your old teammates have missed you. 95 00:05:18,571 --> 00:05:20,073 How do you remember everyone's name? 96 00:05:20,156 --> 00:05:21,116 I'm so bad at it. 97 00:05:21,199 --> 00:05:22,784 Here's the trick: get good at it. 98 00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:24,536 -That's the ticket, eh? -That's how you build 99 00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,955 a winning culture. Mike, what is that shirt? 100 00:05:27,038 --> 00:05:28,457 Birthday present from my girlfriend. 101 00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,542 Put it in the garbage. Fuck you, Shoresy! 102 00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:33,503 Come on, Shoresy. It's clear you had some fun around here. 103 00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,088 One more, for old time's sake. 104 00:05:35,171 --> 00:05:37,924 Well then, make me an offer I actually can't refuse. 105 00:05:40,051 --> 00:05:41,427 Gretzky. 106 00:05:44,305 --> 00:05:45,390 Wayne Gretzky. 107 00:05:51,145 --> 00:05:53,148 -Wayne Gretzky. -Are we just saying words, 108 00:05:53,231 --> 00:05:54,983 or am I gonna get some actual information here? 109 00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:57,986 You're going on TV here today with Wayne Gretzky. 110 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:01,698 Are you gonna sneeze? 111 00:06:01,781 --> 00:06:03,241 I think a bug flew in his mouth. 112 00:06:03,324 --> 00:06:04,242 Just give a second. 113 00:06:04,325 --> 00:06:05,118 Are you crying? 114 00:06:05,201 --> 00:06:06,620 Just give me a second. 115 00:06:06,703 --> 00:06:08,538 -Is he crying? -Are you crying? 116 00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:10,373 He's crying! 117 00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,375 Can I go sit in someone's car for a minute? 118 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,252 -Why are you crying? -'Cause my whole life just 119 00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:16,046 flashed before my eyes. It's emotional. 120 00:06:16,129 --> 00:06:18,173 -What are you talking about? -Just all those years I was 121 00:06:18,256 --> 00:06:19,591 sure I was gonna be a fuckin' loser. 122 00:06:19,674 --> 00:06:21,009 You're not out of the weeds yet. 123 00:06:21,092 --> 00:06:22,928 Just wish I could go back and tell that kid 124 00:06:23,011 --> 00:06:24,971 -he's going on TV with Wayne Gretzky. -The Great One himself. 125 00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:26,807 Just wish I could go back and tell that kid 126 00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:29,226 -everything's gonna be all right. -99 arrives in one hour. 127 00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:30,685 Ah, fuck. 128 00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,604 Just give me a fuckin' Kleenex. 129 00:06:32,687 --> 00:06:33,939 Use your tampon! 130 00:06:34,022 --> 00:06:36,566 Oh, shut the fuck up, Mike, you tit fucker. 131 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,152 Dad. Hey, how are you now? 132 00:06:39,235 --> 00:06:40,737 What're you doin'? I'm at a... 133 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,155 Actually, it doesn't matter. 134 00:06:42,238 --> 00:06:43,740 I'm going on TV with Wayne Gretzky. 135 00:06:43,823 --> 00:06:44,866 What? 136 00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:47,244 Yeah, I'm going on TV with Wayne Gretzky. 137 00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,496 What are you talking about? Where are you? 138 00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:51,581 I'm in Toronto, I'm at BROdude, 139 00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:53,041 and Wayne Gretzky is on his way here. 140 00:06:53,124 --> 00:06:54,543 We're going on TV. Together? 141 00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:56,586 Yes, just the greatest hockey player of this generation, 142 00:06:56,669 --> 00:06:57,921 or any other, and me. 143 00:06:58,004 --> 00:06:59,631 I know. Shoresy. 144 00:06:59,714 --> 00:07:01,675 I know! Shoresy, and all these years you were pretty sure 145 00:07:01,758 --> 00:07:04,969 -you were gonna be a fuckin' loser... -A fuckin' loser, I know! 146 00:07:05,511 --> 00:07:07,430 It's crazy. Ah boy, and look at you now. 147 00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:08,932 It's crazy. 148 00:07:09,015 --> 00:07:10,600 I'm so proud of you. Does your brother know? 149 00:07:10,683 --> 00:07:12,727 No, I'm gonna call him next. You better call him. 150 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:14,312 Yeah, I'm gonna give him a call. 151 00:07:14,395 --> 00:07:16,356 -Well, give him a call. -Well, Dad I gotta get ready 152 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:18,108 for the fuckin' Great One. Give him a call 153 00:07:18,191 --> 00:07:20,318 -then call me back. -Yeah, I'll give ya a call. 154 00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:22,362 -Love ya, have fun. -Yep. Love you, bye. 155 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,201 Yo. 156 00:07:28,284 --> 00:07:29,077 Hey, Mo! 157 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,454 What's up? I'm working. 158 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,581 Remember all those years you were pretty sure 159 00:07:32,664 --> 00:07:34,124 I was gonna be a fuckin' loser? 160 00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:35,500 A loser or dead, yeah. 161 00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:36,960 What are you doin' right now? 162 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,587 Bakin' some Timbits then I'm on the drive-thru 163 00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:40,297 window 'til end of shift. Why? 164 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,841 I'm about to go on TV with Wayne Gretzky. 165 00:07:42,924 --> 00:07:43,884 What?! 166 00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:46,011 Yeah. Who's the loser now, bitch? 167 00:07:46,094 --> 00:07:48,138 -Are you kidding? -Don't shoot the messenger. 168 00:07:48,221 --> 00:07:50,015 Do you know how many times I've said that today? 169 00:07:50,098 --> 00:07:52,476 I'm sorry, Nat. Ice is harder and harder to come by. 170 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,769 We've got too many players, too many teams. 171 00:07:54,852 --> 00:07:56,438 Kids in sports stay off the streets. 172 00:07:56,521 --> 00:07:57,606 If the Bulldogs are folding, 173 00:07:57,689 --> 00:08:00,108 we have to give your weekly ice times to someone else. 174 00:08:00,191 --> 00:08:02,736 -What a punt to the cunt. -And once the ice is gone, 175 00:08:02,819 --> 00:08:04,029 it's gonna be really hard to get back. 176 00:08:04,112 --> 00:08:05,822 -Just like that. -There's no grace period? 177 00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,282 -To what? -To get our shit together. 178 00:08:07,365 --> 00:08:08,909 The body's still fuckin' warm, woman. 179 00:08:08,992 --> 00:08:09,910 -Ziig. -What? 180 00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:10,952 This is our barn, 181 00:08:11,035 --> 00:08:12,370 our banners in the rafters, 182 00:08:12,453 --> 00:08:13,538 our name on the marquee. 183 00:08:13,621 --> 00:08:15,707 -Bulldog Hockey, baby. -Don't shoot the messenger. 184 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:17,167 You can take the dog out of the fight... 185 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,960 We just won the country here! 186 00:08:19,794 --> 00:08:21,213 How long do we have? 187 00:08:21,296 --> 00:08:24,132 I'm worried the dog will bite. I'm sorry, I'm just... 188 00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:25,675 a bit pent up. 189 00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:27,135 Needs to get laid. 190 00:08:28,094 --> 00:08:29,471 -How long? -The basketball team 191 00:08:29,554 --> 00:08:31,640 needs the Bulldogs dressing room ASAP. 192 00:08:31,723 --> 00:08:33,141 What?! Calm down. 193 00:08:33,224 --> 00:08:35,936 The basketball team also needs this office. 194 00:08:36,019 --> 00:08:37,145 What?! 195 00:08:37,228 --> 00:08:38,730 Wanna talk about that Sudbury church league 196 00:08:38,813 --> 00:08:41,525 -thatot banned from their rink? -Those guys play like psychos. 197 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,193 Anik! 198 00:08:49,407 --> 00:08:50,951 -Don't smile like that. -Can't help it. 199 00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:52,661 -You'll freak him out. -I can't help it. 200 00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:54,246 I know, I'm excited too. 201 00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,123 Say something so I can check your levels. 202 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:58,041 I was sure I was gonna be a fuckin' loser. 203 00:08:58,124 --> 00:08:59,960 -Me too. You're good. -Thanks, Erin. 204 00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:01,420 Your one eyelid droops a little bit though, eh? 205 00:09:01,503 --> 00:09:03,547 I don't fuckin' care. I'm going on TV with Wayne. 206 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,881 Gretzky. 207 00:09:05,465 --> 00:09:06,466 What? 208 00:09:07,342 --> 00:09:08,718 Wayne Gretzky. 209 00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:10,303 Are we just saying words again, 210 00:09:10,386 --> 00:09:12,825 -or am I gonna get some actual... -He's not coming. 211 00:09:14,432 --> 00:09:15,975 He cancelled. 212 00:09:18,186 --> 00:09:19,980 -Fer what? -'Cause he's a fuckin' asshole. 213 00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:21,440 Em. No. 214 00:09:21,523 --> 00:09:22,732 He's a fuckin' asshole. 215 00:09:22,815 --> 00:09:24,443 He said he'd be here, he said he'd do this, 216 00:09:24,526 --> 00:09:26,653 so where is he? Not here, not doing this. 217 00:09:26,736 --> 00:09:28,905 I told my bosses I got Wayne Gretzky. 218 00:09:28,988 --> 00:09:30,657 I told my husband, I told my friends. 219 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:34,077 It's the first time my kids have thought I was cool. Ever. 220 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,579 It's not his fault. 221 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,872 Aren't you angry? Disappointed? 222 00:09:38,206 --> 00:09:40,083 We brought you in all the way from Sudbury, 223 00:09:40,166 --> 00:09:42,419 told you you were going on TV with your hero. 224 00:09:42,502 --> 00:09:44,212 Now it's off. None of it's happening. 225 00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:46,047 I think that warrants a little bit of irritability. 226 00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,590 What do you think? 227 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,056 I think... 228 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,269 ...Gretzky to Lemieux for the win. 229 00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:04,816 -Sorry? -I think 50 goals in 39 games. 230 00:10:04,899 --> 00:10:07,152 163 assists in a single season. 231 00:10:07,235 --> 00:10:09,070 Are we just saying words or am I gonna get 232 00:10:09,153 --> 00:10:11,114 -some real information here? -I think Wayne Gretzky 233 00:10:11,197 --> 00:10:13,116 even planning on coming here today 234 00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:15,410 is still the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. 235 00:10:15,493 --> 00:10:17,287 You're fucking with me, right? 236 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,748 Like, the guy's been carrying the sport of hockey on his back 237 00:10:19,831 --> 00:10:22,375 -for 50 years. Give him a break. -He's fucking with me. 238 00:10:22,458 --> 00:10:25,420 I've gotta think a sports icon, global celebrity, 239 00:10:25,503 --> 00:10:27,339 and hockey god is a pretty full card. 240 00:10:27,422 --> 00:10:29,800 -He's not fucking with you. -Wayne Gretzky has been 241 00:10:29,883 --> 00:10:31,760 a superstar since he was ten. 242 00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:33,970 Scored 400 goals as a grade-schooler 243 00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:36,139 and became a media sensation. 244 00:10:36,222 --> 00:10:38,058 Look what other child stars are doing right now. 245 00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:39,559 You're lucky he doesn't have a needle in his arm. 246 00:10:39,642 --> 00:10:41,353 Yeah, being called The Great One since fourth grade 247 00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:43,230 might have produced a slightly different reality 248 00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:44,898 -for him than our own. -Now, what's he been 249 00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:46,149 doing instead? 250 00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:47,818 Serving up legendary moments 251 00:10:47,901 --> 00:10:49,277 for our country on a regular basis 252 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,239 while remaining quiet, humble, and thankful. 253 00:10:52,322 --> 00:10:55,117 -The most Canadian things. -Four Canada Cups, 254 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,327 a World Cup, an Olympic hockey gold. 255 00:10:57,410 --> 00:10:59,538 He was an executive for the gold medal, not a player. 256 00:10:59,621 --> 00:11:01,748 Not to mention four Stanley Cups in a Canadian city. 257 00:11:01,831 --> 00:11:04,126 Haven't seen one of those up here in a few decades, have we? 258 00:11:04,209 --> 00:11:05,919 See a playoff game in Edmonton 259 00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:07,129 before you die. Trust me. 260 00:11:07,212 --> 00:11:08,964 That's a city with an identity. 261 00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:11,508 The City of Champions. Because of 99. 262 00:11:11,591 --> 00:11:13,718 Honourable mention to Messier. Coffey. 263 00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:15,220 -Mike, oh, my God. -Fuhr. 264 00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:16,847 Shut the fuck up, Mike! 265 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,141 -Are you done, Shoresy? -Not even close. 266 00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:21,184 Sports bring this country together. 267 00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:22,853 Think about all the times 268 00:11:22,936 --> 00:11:24,896 we packed the bars and then packed the streets 269 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:27,232 'cause Gretzky had a goal and three assists. 270 00:11:27,315 --> 00:11:29,568 Gretzky to Lemieux. Gretzky to Messier. 271 00:11:29,651 --> 00:11:32,612 Gretzky with the hat trick. Gretzky does it again. 272 00:11:32,695 --> 00:11:34,739 Yeah, we're standing here with our dicks in our hand 273 00:11:34,822 --> 00:11:35,866 because this guy doesn't show up 274 00:11:35,949 --> 00:11:38,243 and you're not even a little bit pissed off. Why? 275 00:11:38,326 --> 00:11:41,120 'Cause the hockey world looks out for each other. 276 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:46,626 Ya think we're just sayin' it? 277 00:11:48,503 --> 00:11:50,357 What do you wanna do with this segment? 278 00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:52,883 Shoresy's got all the answers. 279 00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:54,843 I've never been more ready in my life! 280 00:11:54,926 --> 00:11:56,011 Oh, come on! 281 00:11:56,094 --> 00:11:57,345 They just found out the league is folding 282 00:11:57,428 --> 00:11:58,930 and that they won't be playing hockey this year. 283 00:11:59,013 --> 00:12:00,223 Thank God the strip club's open again. 284 00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:01,558 And now you want us to tell them 285 00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:03,477 -to go get their shit out too? -Why prolong it? 286 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,353 All on a Sudbury Saturday night. 287 00:12:05,436 --> 00:12:07,147 Nat, that's cunty even by my standards. 288 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,232 -I'll do it. -We got you. 289 00:12:09,315 --> 00:12:11,151 -I need a drink. -She needs a dink. 290 00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:13,153 I said drink. 291 00:12:13,736 --> 00:12:15,154 Although... 292 00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,160 -She'll figure something out. -Always does. 293 00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:21,620 Go easy on her in the meantime. 294 00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:23,079 Sorry. 295 00:12:23,162 --> 00:12:24,998 I'd scissor a fuckin' wheelbarrow right now. 296 00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:27,375 Really? You think NHL Twitter accounts 297 00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:29,002 are the biggest problem with today's game? 298 00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:30,712 You asked for an example so I gave you one. 299 00:12:30,795 --> 00:12:32,422 Well, in fairness, Twitter may be the biggest 300 00:12:32,505 --> 00:12:34,424 -problem with the world today. -And I didn't say it was 301 00:12:34,507 --> 00:12:36,259 the biggest problem, I just said it was annoying. 302 00:12:36,342 --> 00:12:38,470 Okay, what's the biggest problem? 303 00:12:38,553 --> 00:12:40,013 And don't say the crackdown on fighting. 304 00:12:40,096 --> 00:12:41,932 The crackdown on fighting? That's old news. 305 00:12:42,015 --> 00:12:43,683 -It's the crackdown on hitting. -On hitting? 306 00:12:43,766 --> 00:12:46,061 Yeah. Next you won't be able to take slap shots. 307 00:12:46,144 --> 00:12:47,229 You heard it here first. 308 00:12:47,312 --> 00:12:49,981 And a big, big problem is diving. 309 00:12:50,064 --> 00:12:51,358 How are they cracking down on hitting? 310 00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:53,693 Well, look at junior hockey in Canada today. 311 00:12:53,776 --> 00:12:56,029 Actually, look at the World Junior tournament. 312 00:12:56,112 --> 00:12:57,572 Every hit is a penalty now. 313 00:12:57,655 --> 00:12:59,491 It's their new strategy to get hitting out of the game. 314 00:12:59,574 --> 00:13:00,700 -Who's they? -If you hit, 315 00:13:00,783 --> 00:13:02,494 you take a penalty. If you take a penalty, 316 00:13:02,577 --> 00:13:04,704 you hurt your team. You don't wanna hurt your team, 317 00:13:04,787 --> 00:13:06,081 so ya don't hit. 318 00:13:06,164 --> 00:13:07,958 Got us playin' the European game now. 319 00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:09,543 -Ooh, careful. -No, no, no, no, no. 320 00:13:09,626 --> 00:13:12,003 -There's lots of tough Euros. -Kronwall. 321 00:13:12,086 --> 00:13:13,296 There's lots of Euros that hit. 322 00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:15,173 -Chara. -It's just, the European game 323 00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:17,134 was always about speed and finesse. 324 00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:19,719 The North American game was about size and grit. 325 00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:21,972 -Traditionally, sure. -Like a massive part 326 00:13:22,055 --> 00:13:24,141 of the success of Canada and U.S. hockey 327 00:13:24,224 --> 00:13:26,518 on the international stage has been the hitting, 328 00:13:26,601 --> 00:13:27,686 the physicality. 329 00:13:27,769 --> 00:13:30,730 The guarantee that if you play us, we will hurt you. 330 00:13:30,813 --> 00:13:32,691 -Okay, take it easy. -But with the new rule changes 331 00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,734 and the crackdown on hitting, they got us playin' 332 00:13:34,817 --> 00:13:36,778 -the European game now. -And how do we stack up 333 00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:39,072 against the Europeans at the European game? 334 00:13:39,155 --> 00:13:40,365 Well, surprise, surprise, 335 00:13:40,448 --> 00:13:42,117 they're better at it than we are. 336 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,035 But, what do you expect? They took away our tools. 337 00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:46,580 -I see. -Keith Primeau, Keith Tkachuk, 338 00:13:46,663 --> 00:13:49,958 Billy Guerin, Brendan Shanahan, Derian Hatcher. 339 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,918 -Scott Stevens. -Yes, Captain Crunch. 340 00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,045 These guys are world-class hockey players 341 00:13:54,128 --> 00:13:55,630 and these guys will fuck you up. 342 00:13:55,713 --> 00:13:58,049 -Eric Lindros. -The new rules cut the nuts 343 00:13:58,132 --> 00:14:00,093 off players like that now. 344 00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:02,679 That's the biggest problem with hockey today. 345 00:14:04,639 --> 00:14:06,933 The North American game is dying. 346 00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:10,228 Hey, anyone doing a dump run this weekend? 347 00:14:10,311 --> 00:14:12,147 -Why? -Throw Mike's shirt in there. 348 00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:13,940 Fuck you, Shoresy! 349 00:14:14,023 --> 00:14:15,441 Shoresy... 350 00:14:17,819 --> 00:14:20,363 Shoresy, I'm glad I caught ya before you left. 351 00:14:21,197 --> 00:14:22,699 Better say something. 352 00:14:23,616 --> 00:14:24,659 Hhh-hey. 353 00:14:24,742 --> 00:14:27,245 I'm so sorry. I had some family stuff come up. 354 00:14:27,328 --> 00:14:29,289 We had our seventh grandchild. 355 00:14:29,372 --> 00:14:31,124 I really had planned on coming up there. 356 00:14:31,207 --> 00:14:33,168 I hope that's all right. 357 00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:34,377 Sir, you could... 358 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:37,047 close an elevator door repeatedly on my nuts 359 00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,298 and it'd be all right. 360 00:14:38,381 --> 00:14:40,258 Honestly, I was really lookin' forward 361 00:14:40,341 --> 00:14:41,676 -to working with you. -Me? 362 00:14:41,759 --> 00:14:43,345 You're not gonna believe this, 363 00:14:43,428 --> 00:14:45,680 but my sons and I, we watched the "Burberry" Bulldogs 364 00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:47,307 in the National Senior Tournament. 365 00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:48,558 You watched the Bulldogs? 366 00:14:48,641 --> 00:14:50,977 It was really good, competitive hockey. 367 00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,645 I really enjoyed the game. 368 00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,107 You guys are gonna give me something to watch 369 00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:56,566 again this year, right? 370 00:14:58,359 --> 00:15:00,529 -You bet. -Hey, I heard what you said. 371 00:15:00,612 --> 00:15:03,573 About the needle in the arm? Because I... I was just... 372 00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:06,118 About the death of the North American game. 373 00:15:06,201 --> 00:15:07,661 Sure, the style of play might be going, 374 00:15:07,744 --> 00:15:10,455 but that style of player ain't going anywhere. 375 00:15:10,538 --> 00:15:12,582 You know, some guys, you put a hockey stick in their hand 376 00:15:12,665 --> 00:15:14,668 and they become a completely different person. 377 00:15:14,751 --> 00:15:17,337 They can't help it. They're just born that way. 378 00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,380 The Canadian game is not dead. 379 00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:22,175 Heh, oh and Janet wanted me to tell ya, 380 00:15:22,258 --> 00:15:23,718 if you want a future in television, 381 00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:26,262 you should think about a trip to Turkey. 382 00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:27,931 I will. 383 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,723 See you later and good luck. 384 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,190 Shall I get you booked on Turkish Air? 385 00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:40,152 See if they can do something about your face, too. 386 00:15:40,235 --> 00:15:42,278 Mike, shut the fuck up! 387 00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:05,885 ♪ Don't leave me this way ♪ 388 00:16:07,387 --> 00:16:10,223 ♪ I can't survive ♪ 389 00:16:10,306 --> 00:16:12,392 ♪ I can't stay alive ♪ 390 00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:15,687 ♪ Without your love ♪ 391 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:17,230 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 392 00:16:17,313 --> 00:16:20,984 ♪ Don't leave me this way, no ♪ 393 00:16:22,193 --> 00:16:23,987 ♪ I can't exist ♪ 394 00:16:24,612 --> 00:16:28,741 ♪ I'll surely miss your tender kiss ♪ 395 00:16:29,409 --> 00:16:32,829 ♪ Don't leave me this way ♪ 396 00:16:33,454 --> 00:16:36,374 ♪ Ah, baby ♪ 397 00:16:36,457 --> 00:16:40,003 ♪ My heart is full of love and desire for you ♪ 398 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:44,382 ♪ Now come on down and do what you got to do ♪ 399 00:16:44,465 --> 00:16:47,928 ♪ You started this fire down in my soul ♪ 400 00:16:48,011 --> 00:16:52,140 ♪ Now can't you see it's burning out of control ♪ 401 00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:55,769 ♪ Come on satisfy the need in me ♪ 402 00:16:55,852 --> 00:16:59,523 ♪ 'Cause only your good loving can set me free ♪ 403 00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:02,442 ♪ Set me free, set me free ♪ 404 00:17:04,777 --> 00:17:06,488 Guys, this is my friend Loic. 405 00:17:06,571 --> 00:17:07,989 What's up, buddy? What's goin' on? 406 00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:09,241 He plays for the Sudbury 5. 407 00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:11,034 -Who? -The basketball team. 408 00:17:11,576 --> 00:17:13,870 Just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear about you guys folding. 409 00:17:13,953 --> 00:17:15,789 -We didn't fold. -You look devastated. 410 00:17:15,872 --> 00:17:16,706 -Pardon? -Nothing. 411 00:17:16,789 --> 00:17:18,041 And thanks for giving us your room. 412 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,168 -We'll take good care of it. -We didn't give it to yas. 413 00:17:20,251 --> 00:17:22,379 I'm sorry, it's loud in here. Can you say that again? 414 00:17:22,462 --> 00:17:23,880 I said we didn't give it to ya, b'y. 415 00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:26,174 -Did he just say, "buy?" -He's makin' fun of ya, Hitch. 416 00:17:26,257 --> 00:17:27,467 No, he isn't. 417 00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:28,844 Yeah, 'cause ya talk like an idiot. 418 00:17:28,927 --> 00:17:31,263 -How does I talks, b'y? -We usually just make fun of ya 419 00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:32,764 behind your back. How about big nuts here 420 00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:34,975 -bringing it right to your door. -Again, thank you and sorry. 421 00:17:35,058 --> 00:17:36,685 Yeah, Canadian contest. You win. 422 00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:38,979 Where can I learn to talk as good as what you does? 423 00:17:39,062 --> 00:17:41,231 -Settle down. -Doesn't matter how ya talk, 424 00:17:41,314 --> 00:17:42,482 you're still gonna look like an idiot. 425 00:17:42,565 --> 00:17:44,901 -Who's team ya on, old man? -No team. 426 00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:46,027 We don't have a team. 427 00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:48,488 That's why big nuts and his boys here get our room. 428 00:17:48,571 --> 00:17:50,740 -Have a good night, man. -Hey, how big are your feet? 429 00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:52,451 What? How big are they? 430 00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,578 -Shut up, Shoresy. -They'll never fill our shoes. 431 00:17:54,661 --> 00:17:55,996 -Knows. -Let's go. 432 00:17:56,079 --> 00:17:58,165 You wouldn't take our room if we weren't playing? 433 00:17:58,248 --> 00:17:59,624 It's our rink. We takes what we wants! 434 00:17:59,707 --> 00:18:01,460 If it was your room, I'd walk up and ask. 435 00:18:01,543 --> 00:18:04,004 Wouldn't just show up to the bar saying thanks, sorry. 436 00:18:04,087 --> 00:18:05,547 -No respect. -That's earned! 437 00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:06,923 What have you won? 438 00:18:07,757 --> 00:18:10,135 And hey, I left some championship pedigree for ya 439 00:18:10,218 --> 00:18:11,386 in the toilet far right. 440 00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:12,720 Yeah, whatever, bro. 441 00:18:14,722 --> 00:18:17,476 Outstanding North American run by this team 442 00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:22,230 of European all-stars known as simply... the EU. 443 00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:24,608 They're undefeated through seven contests 444 00:18:24,691 --> 00:18:27,444 against NHL farm teams no less, 445 00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,112 with one game remaining against Edmonton. 446 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,634 I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it... 447 00:18:32,907 --> 00:18:35,297 ...these guys are beating the crap out of every... 448 00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:45,545 Good, I've got the right house. 449 00:18:45,628 --> 00:18:46,963 What's your name again? 450 00:18:47,046 --> 00:18:49,591 -Shawn. -Come in. 451 00:19:08,693 --> 00:19:11,696 ♪ Don't tell me I'm wrong ♪ 452 00:19:12,363 --> 00:19:18,161 ♪ 'Cause I've been watching every move that you make ♪ 453 00:19:19,746 --> 00:19:22,707 ♪ Hearts you steal ♪ 454 00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:25,836 ♪ When you're made-up in heels ♪ 455 00:19:25,919 --> 00:19:29,964 ♪ Trouble for the man that you take ♪ 456 00:19:30,757 --> 00:19:34,803 ♪ Every time you walk in the room ♪ 457 00:19:34,886 --> 00:19:36,388 What are you doing over here by yourself? 458 00:19:36,471 --> 00:19:37,597 -Huh? -Like, you're over here 459 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:38,765 by yourself like... 460 00:19:38,848 --> 00:19:40,058 -No, I'm not. -Yes, you are. 461 00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:41,643 You're over here away from everybody else like... 462 00:19:41,726 --> 00:19:42,811 Oh, shut the fuck up, 463 00:19:42,894 --> 00:19:44,187 -you idiot. -What's your problem? 464 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,230 -What? -Huh? 465 00:19:45,313 --> 00:19:47,399 -You. -Oh, I know that look. 466 00:19:47,482 --> 00:19:49,276 -What look? -You're lookin' to scissor. 467 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:50,360 You do know that look. 468 00:19:50,443 --> 00:19:51,528 Yep, you're lookin' to scissor. 469 00:19:51,611 --> 00:19:53,029 I'd scissor a barstool right now. 470 00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:57,617 ♪ Oh, it's crazy ♪ 471 00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:03,915 What are you gonna do? 472 00:20:03,998 --> 00:20:06,293 I just told you I'd scissor a fuckin' hall tree right now. 473 00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:07,710 No... 474 00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:09,879 Like without hockey. 475 00:20:12,924 --> 00:20:14,008 I don't know. 476 00:20:16,553 --> 00:20:17,720 No, eh? 477 00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,855 Well, if this is it, we'd better dance. 478 00:20:26,938 --> 00:20:28,523 -No. -Yep, better dance. 479 00:20:28,606 --> 00:20:30,442 You're gonna ruin my odds with one of these broads. 480 00:20:30,525 --> 00:20:31,902 No, your face is gonna do that. 481 00:20:31,985 --> 00:20:33,653 -Fuck you, Shoresy. -Come on, we're dancin'. 482 00:20:33,736 --> 00:20:35,363 -Let's go. -No, we're not dancing. 483 00:20:35,446 --> 00:20:36,782 Come on, we're gonna dance. Get up. 484 00:20:36,865 --> 00:20:38,825 My crotch goes nowhere near your crotch. 485 00:20:38,908 --> 00:20:40,494 Well then fuckin' jump on my back. 486 00:20:40,577 --> 00:20:41,953 -No! I gotta... -Come on, put your fuckin' 487 00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:44,039 beer down, get on my back. 488 00:20:44,122 --> 00:20:48,083 ♪ Oh, it's cra... ♪ 489 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:07,729 ...analysis on the EU all-star team's reign of terror 490 00:21:07,812 --> 00:21:09,606 against pro North American squads, 491 00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:11,691 we'll bring in TSN's director of scouting, 492 00:21:11,774 --> 00:21:14,361 Craig Button. But first, we'll take you to this juicy 493 00:21:14,444 --> 00:21:16,196 post-game statement 494 00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:18,615 from EU coach Teppo Maki. 495 00:21:19,324 --> 00:21:21,827 We are all aware of the narrative here 496 00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:23,870 surrounding European hockey players. 497 00:21:23,953 --> 00:21:26,873 Too soft, no grit, too pretty. 498 00:21:26,956 --> 00:21:28,667 Maybe at one point, sure. 499 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:31,503 But North American players are not at the level 500 00:21:31,586 --> 00:21:34,506 they once were. Our record here proves 501 00:21:34,589 --> 00:21:37,134 that the players here are overvalued. 502 00:21:37,217 --> 00:21:38,969 Those are strong words, Teppo. 503 00:21:39,052 --> 00:21:41,721 That's what you're going with, overvalued? 504 00:21:42,472 --> 00:21:44,015 Overrated. 505 00:21:44,098 --> 00:21:46,017 We're now joined by Craig Button. 506 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,812 Craig, what do we even say about this? 507 00:21:48,895 --> 00:21:50,730 Thank God it's almost over. 508 00:21:50,813 --> 00:21:52,524 Thank God it's almost over! 509 00:21:52,607 --> 00:21:53,942 Turn it down. 510 00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:55,318 Jay, there's a brand of hockey 511 00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:57,320 we used to play over here that's gone by the wayside 512 00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,781 for one reason or another. The Dion Phaneufs 513 00:21:59,864 --> 00:22:02,075 and the Jordin Tootoos used to give you two options: 514 00:22:02,158 --> 00:22:03,994 Run your head through the end boards, 515 00:22:04,077 --> 00:22:06,163 or take it off in the middle of the open ice. 516 00:22:06,246 --> 00:22:07,581 Yes, very true. 517 00:22:07,664 --> 00:22:09,666 For whatever reason, that brand of hockey 518 00:22:09,749 --> 00:22:11,918 -has fallen by the wayside. -Whaddya at b'ys? 519 00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:14,004 Well, guess what? This team of European all-stars 520 00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:15,547 picked it up again. And frankly, 521 00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:18,800 they're playing it better than we ever played it over here. 522 00:22:18,883 --> 00:22:20,886 I really can't believe what I'm watching. 523 00:22:20,969 --> 00:22:24,055 I mean, the average height of this team is 6'5. 524 00:22:24,138 --> 00:22:25,098 You're 6'5! 525 00:22:25,181 --> 00:22:26,183 Yes, 6'5! 526 00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:28,393 That is the average height of this team. 527 00:22:28,476 --> 00:22:29,603 They're unstoppable. 528 00:22:29,686 --> 00:22:31,229 Unbeaten through seven games 529 00:22:31,312 --> 00:22:32,355 with one to go. 530 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:33,607 This was nothing short 531 00:22:33,690 --> 00:22:35,275 of embarrassing. There's been no answer 532 00:22:35,358 --> 00:22:36,777 to the EU's physicality. 533 00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:38,195 No response to this bullying. 534 00:22:38,278 --> 00:22:41,448 This was just a real drubbing if I've ever seen it. 535 00:22:41,531 --> 00:22:42,699 That's a great word: "drubbing." 536 00:22:42,782 --> 00:22:43,658 It's appropriate. 537 00:22:43,741 --> 00:22:44,826 Okay, let's play a quick game. 538 00:22:44,909 --> 00:22:46,536 Words I'd use to describe 539 00:22:46,619 --> 00:22:48,705 the EU's North American swing 540 00:22:48,788 --> 00:22:50,999 against Canada and the US's finest players 541 00:22:51,082 --> 00:22:52,959 not in the NHL: A thumping! 542 00:22:53,042 --> 00:22:54,920 Thrashing! A walloping! 543 00:22:55,003 --> 00:22:57,798 Merciless beating! Shellacking! 544 00:22:57,881 --> 00:22:59,633 Jay, I can't go on any further 545 00:22:59,716 --> 00:23:01,426 without drifting into all kinds of profanity. 546 00:23:01,509 --> 00:23:03,970 I'll remind you this is a family-friendly program, 547 00:23:04,053 --> 00:23:05,388 Craig Button! 548 00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,057 This is a family-friendly 549 00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:08,391 program, people!! 550 00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:09,768 All joking aside, 551 00:23:09,851 --> 00:23:11,645 this EU team is too big. 552 00:23:11,728 --> 00:23:14,564 They're too fast. They're unbeatable. 553 00:23:14,647 --> 00:23:16,149 -Unbeatable, eh? -Verified. 554 00:23:16,232 --> 00:23:18,359 Validated. Confirmed.