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00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,799
I'm Jory Jordan,
2
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,467
and this is the Sudbury Kids
Sport Report On Location.
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00:01:10,468 --> 00:01:12,344
I'm here with former
Bulldog number 69 Shore,
4
00:01:12,345 --> 00:01:14,723
fresh off a narrow win over
the Apeldoorn's from Timmins.
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00:01:15,056 --> 00:01:17,349
Well, you knocked off
Donkervoort and Swellengrebel.
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00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,352
Who's next,
Dumbledore and Scrappy-Doo?
7
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:21,645
No answer, eh?
Think you're hot shit
8
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:24,023
cuz you beat a team of guys
named by Dr. Seuss?
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It's good to be with you,
Shoresy.
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You've got the EU All-Stars
on deck here
11
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and you'll no doubt get pumped
by a bunch of dudes
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wearing tarps that look like
coupon books. Care to comment?
13
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Think Gretzky will ever
forgive you when he can't
14
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show his face at Jari Kurri's
Midsommar party this year?
15
00:01:35,577 --> 00:01:37,536
They say having a touch of grey
is a sign of wisdom,
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00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:39,079
but how do you think you'll fare
having only
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a touch of grey matter?
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Think your phone would unlock
if I used the facial ID
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function by pointing it
at a 14-year-old
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English Bulldog's butthole
or ball sack?
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Shoresy, the EU's
gonna thump you,
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00:01:48,298 --> 00:01:49,256
it's nothing short of certain,
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so, the SKSR asked its listeners
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to send us their post-game
quotes early.
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Connor from Elliot Lake writes,
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"Not since I got some ass
on my dad's fake grass
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have I seen someone get fucked
on home turf like that."
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Thanks, Con-Man.
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00:02:01,186 --> 00:02:02,436
And Liz from Manitoulin writes,
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00:02:02,437 --> 00:02:03,520
"Haven't seen anyone get
this embarrassed
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00:02:03,521 --> 00:02:04,938
in their own backyard
since my aunt
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00:02:04,939 --> 00:02:06,566
tried to piss out a bonfire."
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Okay.
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Hakohrju, Ruzicka,
and Cederstrom.
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Is that really the EU roster
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or did a cat
walk across a keyboard?
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Shoresy, how do you navigate
your every day emotions
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knowing the absolute best
your future can offer
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00:02:17,535 --> 00:02:18,952
is seasonal employment
shoveling snow
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00:02:18,953 --> 00:02:20,579
outside the Rainbow Centre?
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Oh!
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Gotta run, Shoresy.
Something important.
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Good luck with the EU, coach.
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It's a bit smaller
45
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than regulation,
but it cleans up nicely.
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00:03:59,095 --> 00:04:00,679
Kev will give
the ice surface
47
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,473
some TLC and it'll be just like
the rink downtown.
48
00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:05,059
It's nothing like the rink
downtown, don't be an idiot.
49
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,435
- Do you hate it?
- Mm-mm.
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00:04:06,436 --> 00:04:08,062
Then say something, slut.
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Just taking it in.
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00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,024
I love an outdoor rink.
53
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Almost like it's breathing, eh?
54
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No, it's not.
Well, all right.
55
00:04:19,783 --> 00:04:20,866
So, you love it?
56
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,284
Never played at
this one before.
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- It's private.
- Owned by the Presbyterian
Church.
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Recently vacated.
- Is it that one?!
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Home of the infamous
church league.
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This is exactly
where this should go down.
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There's no dressing rooms
here, so the EU will have
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to get dressed in the church
basement over there,
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00:04:34,214 --> 00:04:35,673
and we'll have to see if someone
living around here
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00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:37,466
will let you guys get dressed
in their house.
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What do you think
of that, slut?
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I fuckin' love it.
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Who's Nat talking to in there?
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The church.
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We really appreciate
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00:04:45,433 --> 00:04:46,934
this donation from the Bulldogs.
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00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:48,352
The church can definitely
use it.
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00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:50,270
We appreciate you
letting us use your rink.
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It just sits there now.
Someone should use it.
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00:04:52,357 --> 00:04:54,566
Nat, I don't want to sound
like the harpy church lady here,
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00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:57,611
but we don't want a repeat
of past mistakes and...
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00:04:57,612 --> 00:04:59,613
cancelling the church league
was ugly for us.
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00:04:59,614 --> 00:05:01,740
- I saw it on the news.
- That story really took on
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00:05:01,741 --> 00:05:03,450
a life of its own.
- They talked about it
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00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:05,369
on Spittin' Chiclets.
- The police were here so much
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00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:07,287
that the players stopped caring
that the police were here.
81
00:05:07,288 --> 00:05:09,373
- Those guys play like psychos.
- I've heard.
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Clearly a culture problem
with the sport.
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- Why do you say that?
- If even Christian
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hockey players can't behave...
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Just... we had members
of our own congregation
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00:05:16,756 --> 00:05:18,465
in cuffs on that bench.
- Both benches.
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00:05:18,466 --> 00:05:20,634
We certainly don't want to be
on Skippin' Chiclets again.
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00:05:20,635 --> 00:05:23,762
Zero tolerance policy for
fighting. Do you understand?
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00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:25,556
- Yes.
- If it happens,
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the police come, and you go.
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All right...
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I'm gonna boot him
straight in the head.
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- Chill. Chill.
- I'm gonna boot him
straight in the fuckin'--
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00:05:35,483 --> 00:05:36,693
Chill.
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00:05:37,527 --> 00:05:39,737
So, we're back in
the Sudbury 5 dressing room,
96
00:05:39,738 --> 00:05:41,905
but it's a reasonable hour
this time,
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00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,450
and there's no strippers here.
98
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:46,535
I just wanna give a quick stick
tap to all the boys
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00:05:46,536 --> 00:05:48,495
for building a winning culture.
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00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:52,124
Not just with Emily...
Aw!
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00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,418
Kev...
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00:05:54,419 --> 00:05:56,462
Santiago and Jorge...
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00:05:56,463 --> 00:05:58,839
But for getting involved
with youth sports.
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00:06:02,802 --> 00:06:05,262
And for supporting
bums outside the rink.
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00:06:07,098 --> 00:06:09,558
That's how you build
a winning culture.
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That's how you do it.
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All right, last practice
together on deck here, boys.
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Yeah, big skate on deck
here now.
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I want hard passes,
calling for pucks,
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practice how you play.
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So, we've got the game
with the Euros in a few days.
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Wanna make sure everyone's
on the same page here.
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We're gonna do some real
bad shit to those guys.
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Don't bring your girls,
wait a couple days
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before you call your parents.
This will be bad.
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Why, Big Mo?
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- Pride on the line.
- Yes.
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They thumped everybody.
They won't thump us.
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- Yes.
- The North American game
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00:06:40,799 --> 00:06:42,842
is not dead.
- Yes.
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Also, because I told Wayne we'd
give him something to watch.
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Gretzky. Son of Walter.
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Brantford, Ontario's very own.
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Now, to do what we're gonna do
to these Euros, which is...
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Some real bad shit.
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We need complete faith
in each other.
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00:06:59,651 --> 00:07:01,819
We need complete trust
in each other.
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00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:05,197
We need total buy-in
from every guy in this room.
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Every single guy.
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And, of course,
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no hammering ass
before the game.
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Get it all outta ya now.
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So, after practice here,
any issues you've got
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with each other or otherwise,
open it up, air it out.
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Let's get our house in order.
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Shoresy.
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Hey, Jill.
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All the boys are coming home
for your game.
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- Yeah, they told me.
- They're all very excited.
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Well, they're all acting
like girls about it
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on the group chat.
- They can't wait to see you.
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- Well, wait 'til they see this.
- I can just imagine.
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00:07:36,438 --> 00:07:38,480
- Uh-huh.
- Laura coming?
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- Think so.
- How is she?
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- Good.
- You've got a winner there.
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Yeah, I know.
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She was the prettiest girl
in high school.
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- I believe it.
- But she didn't wanna be.
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She didn't care.
- Still doesn't.
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I find that so sexy.
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00:07:50,994 --> 00:07:54,621
You know... we should
all hang out sometime.
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I haven't seen her in forever.
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00:07:56,583 --> 00:07:58,585
"I haven't seen
her in forever."
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00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,836
And then she just messages me
on Facebook,
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00:08:00,837 --> 00:08:02,881
"We should all hang out
sometime."
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00:08:03,381 --> 00:08:05,675
I creeped her photos.
She's still super hot.
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Do you think so?
158
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:10,429
I told my friends she looks
like Charlize Theron.
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00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:12,347
What did you say
to your friends about it?
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That a woman sent me
a message saying
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she wants to hang out with me
and my boyfriend.
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What do you think about that?
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00:08:19,397 --> 00:08:20,898
- What do I think about it?
- No.
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- Huh?
- I said to my friends,
165
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"What do you think about that?"
- And your friends think...
166
00:08:24,402 --> 00:08:26,278
That Jill wants to have sex
with both of us
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at the same time.
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00:08:27,947 --> 00:08:29,115
Hmm.
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00:08:30,158 --> 00:08:31,910
But--
- No, that's it.
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- Maybe--
- No, that's it.
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- How do ya--
- Because if I sent a woman
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a message saying I wanted
to hang out with her
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and her boyfriend...
- Yeah.
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...it would be to have sex
with both of them
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00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:43,380
at the same time.
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So, Jill wants to have sex with
both of us at the same time.
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00:08:48,176 --> 00:08:49,552
Hmm.
178
00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:52,429
If I wanted to have sex
with you and Jill
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at the same time...
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would you wanna have sex
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00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,976
with me and Jill
at the same time?
182
00:09:02,148 --> 00:09:05,443
Do you want to have sex with me
and Jill at the same time?
183
00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:09,656
What are you doing?
184
00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:13,200
Why are you making that face?
- I don't know.
185
00:09:13,201 --> 00:09:14,618
I don't know what's happening.
186
00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,662
When I was a little boy,
my Dad caught me smoking.
187
00:09:16,663 --> 00:09:18,455
So, he went out and bought
a pack of Du Mauriers
188
00:09:18,456 --> 00:09:19,999
and made me smoke them
'til I puked.
189
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,001
- You never smoked again?
- No, I continued to smoke.
190
00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:24,461
I was gonna say, I had
a smoke with you last weekend.
191
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:26,213
In fact, I believe it was
that day with my Dad
192
00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:28,090
and the Du Mauriers that
I became addicted to smoking.
193
00:09:28,091 --> 00:09:29,800
- You shouldn't smoke.
- I've smoked off and on
194
00:09:29,801 --> 00:09:31,135
my whole life.
- You wanna smoke now?
195
00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:32,928
- No, thank you.
- What's your angle here,
Palmer?
196
00:09:32,929 --> 00:09:34,805
Just because that method
didn't work for me,
197
00:09:34,806 --> 00:09:35,973
doesn't mean
it won't work for you.
198
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:37,850
You want me to smoke
'til I puke?
199
00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:39,643
Smoking's not your poison,
young buck.
200
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,645
Your poison is lappies.
- Among other things.
201
00:09:41,646 --> 00:09:43,439
- Lap dances?
- You love lappies.
202
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,648
Never seen
anything like it.
203
00:09:44,649 --> 00:09:45,774
But we've got the Euros soon.
204
00:09:45,775 --> 00:09:47,234
And we need your full focus.
205
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:49,069
So, we're gonna put an embargo
on lappies after tomorrow.
206
00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:50,821
He's not gonna know
what an embargo is.
207
00:09:50,822 --> 00:09:52,197
I know what an embargo is.
208
00:09:52,198 --> 00:09:54,033
I only kinda know
what an embargo is, truthfully.
209
00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:55,701
- It means no lappies, right?
- Basically.
210
00:09:55,702 --> 00:09:57,036
I understood it to mean
no lappies, yes.
211
00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:59,079
- But after tomorrow, you said?
- Yes.
212
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,539
So, you think
the solution here is...
213
00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:02,082
We get Delaney
so many lappies,
214
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:04,418
he isn't even thinking about 'em
while we're playing the Euros.
215
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:05,836
- Really?
- Yes.
216
00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:08,005
- What do you think, Schnurr?
- Think it's worth a shot.
217
00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:09,673
Sometimes I think
God really sees me.
218
00:10:09,674 --> 00:10:10,799
Delaney, when you're ready,
219
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,053
Octavia will meet you
in the VIP.
220
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:19,893
Got 20 bucks?
221
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:25,564
Get it all outta you now.
222
00:10:28,276 --> 00:10:30,153
Round three, Gord. Let's go.
223
00:10:37,494 --> 00:10:38,952
- Hello, everyone.
- Hello.
224
00:10:38,953 --> 00:10:41,246
In an effort to get our house
in order before the big game,
225
00:10:41,247 --> 00:10:44,124
we brought you here to clear
the air on an outstanding issue.
226
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:47,336
Now, we know this is
a sensitive topic. Right, Jim?
227
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,296
- Yeah.
- But with everyone's honesty
228
00:10:49,297 --> 00:10:52,174
and cooperation, I think we can
find a healthy and amicable
229
00:10:52,175 --> 00:10:54,218
solution for all involved. Jim.
230
00:10:54,219 --> 00:10:56,553
- Yeah?
- No, that Jim.
231
00:10:56,554 --> 00:10:58,097
What's up, Jim?
What's goin' on, buddy?
232
00:10:58,098 --> 00:11:00,057
Jim, me and Jim think you
should always follow your heart.
233
00:11:00,058 --> 00:11:01,975
- Settle down.
- But you followed your heart
234
00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:04,228
to... I don't wanna say
a forbidden place.
235
00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:06,397
- No.
- But close to it.
236
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:08,065
- Yeah.
- Jim and I spent the night
237
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:09,733
together when I was trying
to get back at Goody
238
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,652
for banging the hockey mom.
239
00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:12,695
We didn't have sex.
240
00:11:12,696 --> 00:11:14,279
- Jim?
- It's true.
241
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,823
We didn't go all the way.
- Why?
242
00:11:15,824 --> 00:11:17,241
A decision I stand by today.
243
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:20,202
Goody, Jim, you've both had
relationships with Britt.
244
00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:22,705
- They just kissed.
- Some people feel
that's more powerful.
245
00:11:22,706 --> 00:11:24,289
- No, they don't.
- Some people do.
246
00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:26,625
Jim and I think you should
both make your pitch to Britt
247
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:28,085
and she decides
who she likes better.
248
00:11:28,086 --> 00:11:30,087
- Really?
- Yeah.
249
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:32,339
Jim, why don't you begin.
250
00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:33,674
Britt...
251
00:11:33,675 --> 00:11:36,009
Sometimes, I need a map.
- Why?
252
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:37,678
'Cause I get so lost
in your eyes.
253
00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,221
Unbelievable.
254
00:11:39,222 --> 00:11:41,223
The truth is, I see you,
255
00:11:41,224 --> 00:11:42,766
and I think you're special,
256
00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:44,561
and I just want you to be happy.
257
00:11:44,978 --> 00:11:46,520
If I open my heart
to someone, sure
258
00:11:46,521 --> 00:11:47,604
it'd be someone like you.
259
00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:50,065
But if you prefer someone
like Goody,
260
00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:51,525
I'd understand.
261
00:11:51,526 --> 00:11:52,693
That's sweet, Jim.
262
00:11:52,694 --> 00:11:54,611
- Goody?
- How's the sex?
263
00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:56,613
- Ten outta ten.
- There you go.
264
00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:58,907
Britt... you have the floor.
265
00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:00,492
Your attention please.
266
00:12:00,493 --> 00:12:02,536
- Big game on deck here, b'ys.
- And girls.
267
00:12:02,537 --> 00:12:03,912
It's time to get our house
in order.
268
00:12:03,913 --> 00:12:06,457
What's been happening
in your relationships,
269
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,459
I don't know what to say
for the best.
270
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,294
Maybe there ain't no best to it.
271
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,462
Mercedes in particular.
272
00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:12,796
Never heard nothin'
so bad as that.
273
00:12:12,797 --> 00:12:14,715
- What's he talking about?
- You're all in unhealthy
274
00:12:14,716 --> 00:12:17,343
relationships, and we're here
to unload that baggage
275
00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:18,427
before you play the Euros.
276
00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:19,845
- Query.
- What'd you call me?
277
00:12:19,846 --> 00:12:21,638
Why are you two hosting this?
278
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:23,390
Because we're in
the healthiest relationship.
279
00:12:23,391 --> 00:12:25,059
- By what metric?
- Oh, I think I know
280
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,477
what he's talking about.
So, Hitch slept with
281
00:12:26,478 --> 00:12:27,811
the hockey mom this summer.
And even though
282
00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:29,563
I don't like how
I found out about it,
283
00:12:29,564 --> 00:12:31,231
I slept with another dude
this summer,
284
00:12:31,232 --> 00:12:32,484
so they cancel each other out.
285
00:12:32,942 --> 00:12:35,527
- And that's healthy?
- An eye for an eye, old man.
286
00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:37,237
- Strong as oak.
- Dolo?
287
00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:39,114
- What it do?
- By now I'm sure you knows
288
00:12:39,115 --> 00:12:40,866
Melodie is also seeing
the starting point guard
289
00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:42,910
for the Sudbury 5.
Loic. Yes.
290
00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:44,537
Perhaps you wants
to air that out?
291
00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:46,831
For who?
For each other.
292
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,999
We're in an...
open relationship.
293
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,501
Really?
Yes.
294
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:51,668
That's unconventional.
295
00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:53,004
Not in Québec.
296
00:12:53,254 --> 00:12:54,630
- Oh!
- Ah.
297
00:12:54,631 --> 00:12:55,965
Well, that solves that.
298
00:12:58,843 --> 00:13:01,346
So, you can bang
whoever you want?
299
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:03,430
You shouldn't
kiss and tell.
300
00:13:03,431 --> 00:13:05,432
It's not me.
I'm asking for a friend.
301
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,517
- Who?
- You don't know him.
302
00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:08,268
Who do you know
that I don't know?
303
00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:09,687
- Lots of guys.
- No.
304
00:13:10,146 --> 00:13:12,481
- Okay, it's a girl.
- It's a girl?
305
00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:13,732
Yeah.
306
00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:15,609
You said this was about
having sex with two people
307
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:17,486
of the opposite sex.
- Yeah.
308
00:13:17,487 --> 00:13:18,904
And it's a girl
in this situation?
309
00:13:18,905 --> 00:13:20,614
- Yeah.
- So, a girl you know
310
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:22,449
wants to have sex with two dudes
at the same time,
311
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:24,410
and came to you about it?
- Yeah.
312
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:26,203
- For advice?
- Yeah.
313
00:13:26,204 --> 00:13:28,831
So, a girl you know
came to you for advice
314
00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:31,291
on having sex with two dudes
at the same time?
315
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:34,169
- Okay, I'm lying.
- I know. So, this is about you?
316
00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:35,254
Yeah.
317
00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:37,548
Having sex with two people
of the opposite sex?
318
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:38,716
Yeah.
319
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:40,175
So, another girl
wants to have sex
320
00:13:40,176 --> 00:13:41,802
with you and Laura
at the same time?
321
00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:43,262
You got there fast.
322
00:13:43,263 --> 00:13:45,639
- Why would they want you there?
- That's what I said!
323
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,891
- Laura's bisexual?
- I don't know.
324
00:13:47,892 --> 00:13:49,477
Well, you better find out.
325
00:13:49,894 --> 00:13:51,937
What's up,
you fuckin' bisexual?
326
00:13:51,938 --> 00:13:53,772
- Who said I'm bisexual?
- Huh?
327
00:13:53,773 --> 00:13:55,649
- You think I'm bisexual?
- Give me one good reason
328
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:57,234
why I shouldn't.
- I'm going to bed with you.
329
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,278
Well, a person would have
to be a little bit bisexual
330
00:13:59,279 --> 00:14:01,780
to have sex with a guy
and a girl at the same time.
331
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,532
Oh, I forgot about that.
332
00:14:03,533 --> 00:14:04,700
- Did you really?
- No.
333
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:07,244
Fuckin'... You're such
a fuckin' good time.
334
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,163
A person would have to be
a little bit bisexual
335
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:11,248
to have sex with a guy
and a girl at the same time.
336
00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:13,167
All right, so you're
a little bit bisexual.
337
00:14:13,168 --> 00:14:15,002
A person might be
a little bit bisexual.
338
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,920
Look, you better start
speakin' plain
339
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:17,921
or you're cut off.
- Yeah?
340
00:14:17,922 --> 00:14:19,340
Yeah, for like, 15 minutes.
341
00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:21,800
I asked you if you wanted
to have sex with Jill and me
342
00:14:21,801 --> 00:14:23,010
at the same time.
- I recall.
343
00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:24,636
- You never answered.
- Well...
344
00:14:24,637 --> 00:14:26,305
- Well, what?
- Fuck, come on.
345
00:14:26,306 --> 00:14:28,432
- Come on, what?
- I still can't believe
346
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:29,516
she wants me there.
347
00:14:29,517 --> 00:14:31,226
She could have sex
with just you.
348
00:14:31,227 --> 00:14:33,229
You could have sex
with just me.
349
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,231
She's good.
350
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:37,900
She's really good.
- And she's so fuckin' hot.
351
00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:39,902
- She is.
- Like, she's so fuckin' cool.
352
00:14:39,903 --> 00:14:41,695
- And you didn't answer her?
- On what?
353
00:14:41,696 --> 00:14:42,905
- On--
- Huh?
354
00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:44,907
On if you want to have sex
with her and Jill
355
00:14:44,908 --> 00:14:46,283
at the same time.
- Well...
356
00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:47,785
- Well, what?
- Come on.
357
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,496
- Come on, what?
- Don't be such a broad.
358
00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:52,414
What, you're the big man
who wants to have sex
359
00:14:52,415 --> 00:14:55,167
with two girls at the same time.
- I never once said that.
360
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,543
So, you don't want
to have sex
361
00:14:56,544 --> 00:14:57,836
with two girls
at the same time?
362
00:14:57,837 --> 00:14:59,088
Never said that either.
363
00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:01,048
But you're not man enough
to tell her that?
364
00:15:01,049 --> 00:15:03,384
- Tell her what?
- Tell her what?
365
00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:05,386
That I wanna have sex
with her and another girl
366
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:06,720
at the same time?
- No.
367
00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:07,971
Huh?
368
00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:10,392
That you want to have sex
with another girl.
369
00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:17,231
- Where's the big man?
- Gettin' a lappy.
370
00:15:17,232 --> 00:15:18,357
Where's Palmer?
371
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,150
You didn't mean Palmer
when you said, "the big man?"
372
00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:22,111
- No.
- Hmm. Thought you meant Palmer.
373
00:15:22,112 --> 00:15:23,737
- Why?
- 'Cause he's a big man.
374
00:15:23,738 --> 00:15:25,406
- I meant Delaney.
- Delaney's gettin' a lappy.
375
00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:27,783
So, Palmer and Delaney
are both getting lappies?
376
00:15:27,784 --> 00:15:29,743
- Yep.
- Why aren't you
getting a lappy?
377
00:15:29,744 --> 00:15:31,203
I thought it was important
in all of this
378
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:34,541
someone wasn't getting a lappy.
- Good. You're a good man.
379
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:37,127
- Where you goin'?
- Gettin' a lappy.
380
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,586
Thank you
for choosing me.
381
00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,046
Don't make me regret it.
382
00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:42,881
Guess we should get doing
something healthy and amicable?
383
00:15:42,882 --> 00:15:45,551
- Like what?
- I like bingo and crokinole.
384
00:15:45,552 --> 00:15:48,346
Hmm.
Let's go to the strippers.
385
00:15:48,763 --> 00:15:50,180
Your attention, please.
386
00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:52,599
Welcome to day two of getting
our house in order, b'ys.
387
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,934
- And girls.
- While we all hoped
388
00:15:53,935 --> 00:15:55,394
to get it in order yesterday,
389
00:15:55,395 --> 00:15:57,771
I'm sure none of you regrets
watching the Jackass marathon
390
00:15:57,772 --> 00:16:00,441
on Spike TV and ordering
tasty takeout wings
391
00:16:00,442 --> 00:16:02,192
from Buzzy Brown's Brasserie.
392
00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:04,611
Michaels, you are in
an unhealthy relationship
393
00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:05,654
with Mercedes.
394
00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:06,989
I'm not technically
395
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:08,449
in any relationship
with Mercedes.
396
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,285
Oh, okay. So, then you're not
gonna be upset to hear that--
397
00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:12,786
- I fucked the Fridge Twins.
- Freezer.
398
00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:14,079
- Doesn't matter.
- At the same time?
399
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:14,872
- Which time?
- What?
400
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:16,081
- Pardon?
- I was wondering
401
00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:17,207
why these guys were here.
402
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,043
Today there's a Matrix marathon
on Spike TV.
403
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,128
- Why?
- Because you're banging Miig.
404
00:16:21,129 --> 00:16:22,755
Really?
Attaboy.
405
00:16:22,756 --> 00:16:24,631
Mercedes, you know I detest
that edgy language, please.
406
00:16:24,632 --> 00:16:25,966
Didn't care then,
don't care now.
407
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,551
Right, Mercedes,
you slept with a teammate
408
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:29,428
to get revenge on Michaels,
and that is unhealthy.
409
00:16:29,429 --> 00:16:31,722
Wait a minute,
you used sex with a teammate
410
00:16:31,723 --> 00:16:33,640
to get back at Hitch
for banging a hockey mom.
411
00:16:33,641 --> 00:16:35,142
- Mm-mm, that's different.
- How?
412
00:16:35,143 --> 00:16:36,935
I only had sex
with one teammate.
413
00:16:36,936 --> 00:16:38,312
- Yawn.
- So, Michaels, how do you plan
414
00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:40,773
on nurturing the relationship
so you can both move on?
415
00:16:40,774 --> 00:16:43,609
I don't need to nurture
this relationship.
416
00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:45,986
- Why not?
- Because we're not
in a relationship!
417
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:47,613
- Oh?
- No!
418
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:48,864
Because I'm making love...
419
00:16:48,865 --> 00:16:50,074
to Miig.
- Ugh!
420
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,408
Serious?
Attaboy.
421
00:16:51,409 --> 00:16:52,993
So, you're not in
a relationship with Mercedes?
422
00:16:52,994 --> 00:16:54,370
- No!
- Then you're not gonna be upset
423
00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:56,288
to hear that--
- I fucked the Italian guy, too.
424
00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:57,414
Sly Sylvestri?
425
00:16:57,415 --> 00:16:59,458
I don't fuckin' know.
His name is Sly.
426
00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:01,627
I have him saved on my phone
427
00:17:01,628 --> 00:17:02,795
as a spaghetti emoji.
428
00:17:02,796 --> 00:17:04,004
We are not
in an unhealthy relationship,
429
00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:05,381
we are in no relationship!
430
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,966
- Well, that solves that.
- I think our work here is done.
431
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,010
So, then I guess you won't
be upset to hear that--
432
00:17:10,011 --> 00:17:11,428
Yeah... yeah,
you know, yeah, I will.
433
00:17:11,429 --> 00:17:15,558
You know what? This is clearly
upsetting to me.
434
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:19,311
Well, house in order, b'ys!
435
00:17:19,312 --> 00:17:20,521
And girls!
436
00:17:20,522 --> 00:17:21,563
What is this?
437
00:17:21,564 --> 00:17:24,024
This is where
we play the EU All-Stars.
438
00:17:24,025 --> 00:17:26,318
This is a dump.
This is the north.
439
00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:28,989
We ain't pretty,
and we get dirty.
440
00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:32,867
We extended our tour
to play... outside?
441
00:17:33,284 --> 00:17:35,828
You wanted the NOSHO
North Stars.
442
00:17:35,829 --> 00:17:37,204
I did.
443
00:17:37,205 --> 00:17:39,123
This is where the NOSHO
North Stars play.
444
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:41,501
I will regret
this decision.
445
00:17:42,419 --> 00:17:43,670
We'll make sure of it.
446
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:45,587
House in order?
447
00:17:45,588 --> 00:17:48,007
- Yes, sir!
- Well, Delaney's here on time.
448
00:17:48,008 --> 00:17:49,633
Mercedes is out
of the picture for good.
449
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:50,968
The Britt love triangle
is over.
450
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,177
Really?
Yeah.
451
00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:53,512
B'ys relationships
never done so good
452
00:17:53,513 --> 00:17:54,680
as what they does, me son.
453
00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:57,057
Well, and Ol' Gorgeous has got
no colour in his cheeks.
454
00:17:57,058 --> 00:17:58,726
Got all the bangin'
outta me, Shoresy.
455
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:00,394
Looks like total buy-in to me!
456
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:06,026
All right.
457
00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,986
Well, this ship needs a captain
458
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,697
and a couple first mates.
459
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,115
Actually, that sounds pretty
gay. What do you think, Mo?
460
00:18:13,116 --> 00:18:15,743
- First mate leans gay to me.
- Which is fine, but like--
461
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:17,244
Just maybe not
super necessary.
462
00:18:17,245 --> 00:18:18,996
So, what like,
alternate captain?
463
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,497
- Assistant captain.
- Huh?
464
00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:21,582
This team needs a captain
465
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:22,875
and a couple assistant captains.
466
00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:25,627
Well, you heard the man! Jim!
467
00:18:25,628 --> 00:18:27,212
- Yeah.
- No, that Jim.
468
00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:29,506
Jim, for meditating
the discussion between--
469
00:18:29,507 --> 00:18:31,133
- Mediating.
- What?
470
00:18:31,134 --> 00:18:33,761
- Mediating.
- For mediating the discussion?
471
00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:34,803
Yep.
472
00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:37,014
Jim, for mediating
the discussion
473
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:39,350
between Goody and Jim
so that the love triangle
474
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:40,310
may be...
475
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:43,563
flattened...
476
00:18:45,106 --> 00:18:46,690
...we are naming you
assistant captain
477
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:47,816
of the NOSHO North Stars.
478
00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:50,737
Hey, hey, hey!
479
00:18:53,448 --> 00:18:55,950
Schnurr!
Schnurr. Schnurr.
480
00:18:57,118 --> 00:18:59,203
For guiding Delaney,
Palmer, and Sly
481
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,746
through what can only be
described
482
00:19:00,747 --> 00:19:02,539
as a monsoon of lappies,
483
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:06,169
while never once accepting
a lappy for yourself...
484
00:19:07,128 --> 00:19:08,253
we're naming you
assistant captain
485
00:19:08,254 --> 00:19:09,463
of the NOSHO North Stars.
486
00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:15,761
Now, Hitch!
- Me?!
487
00:19:15,762 --> 00:19:17,681
No, the other Hitch. So dumb.
488
00:19:19,474 --> 00:19:22,101
For hosting the airing out
of relationship baggage
489
00:19:22,102 --> 00:19:23,644
between the boys
and their girls,
490
00:19:23,645 --> 00:19:25,896
while keeping it simple
in your own relationship
491
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:27,815
so that you bring
no relationship baggage
492
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:29,358
of your own...
- Not to mention being
493
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:30,484
the senior member of this team.
494
00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:32,070
Yeah, a lot of rubber
on that road.
495
00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:35,280
You will lead this team
before The Great One himself.
496
00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:37,324
Number 99, Wayne Gretzky.
497
00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:38,702
Proud to call him a friend...
498
00:19:40,286 --> 00:19:42,997
...as captain
of the NOSHO North Stars.
499
00:19:55,176 --> 00:19:57,720
I don't know what to say--
Yeah!!
500
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,851
Got your house in order, bro?
501
00:20:03,852 --> 00:20:04,727
No.
502
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:06,854
What do you mean, no?
503
00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:07,980
- No other girls.
- No?
504
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,606
- No.
- Jill's on her way over.
505
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:10,899
- Come on.
- Why?
506
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,276
Why, what?
Huh?
507
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,278
- Why no other girls?
- You're crafty.
508
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,280
- I'm Laura.
- You're trying to get me
to say something.
509
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,158
- She'll be here any minute.
- Hey...
510
00:20:19,075 --> 00:20:20,909
Do you wanna have sex
with another guy?
511
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:22,662
- No.
- Cool.
512
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,373
I don't wanna have sex
with another girl.
513
00:20:25,915 --> 00:20:27,124
Cool.
514
00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:33,797
Let's get a timeshare
in New Brunswick
515
00:20:33,798 --> 00:20:35,049
and train foxes.
516
00:20:39,763 --> 00:20:41,431
Did you give her a key?!
517
00:20:44,809 --> 00:20:46,518
What's up, big boy?
518
00:20:46,519 --> 00:20:47,394
Hey, Shoresy.
519
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:48,937
Why aren't you at your dad's?
520
00:20:48,938 --> 00:20:50,607
I can never get
the TV working.
521
00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:52,274
What do you wanna
watch so bad?
522
00:20:52,275 --> 00:20:53,984
- Shut up.
- Try-on hauls.
523
00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:55,737
Can I stay with you guys?
524
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:59,324
Of course.
525
00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:03,703
Well, we're gonna have
to charge you extra.
526
00:21:06,414 --> 00:21:10,125
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
527
00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:11,961
♪ Crazy love ♪
528
00:21:12,587 --> 00:21:16,465
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
529
00:21:16,466 --> 00:21:18,510
♪ Crazy love ♪
530
00:21:18,843 --> 00:21:23,806
♪ Yeah, I need her
in the daytime ♪
531
00:21:23,807 --> 00:21:25,350
♪ I need her ♪
532
00:21:26,434 --> 00:21:29,812
♪ Yeah, and I need her
in the night ♪
533
00:21:29,813 --> 00:21:31,439
♪ I need her ♪
534
00:21:32,565 --> 00:21:36,485
♪ Yeah, and I want to throw
my arms around her ♪
535
00:21:36,486 --> 00:21:37,569
♪ I need her ♪
536
00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:41,866
♪ And kiss and hug her
kiss and hug her tight ♪
537
00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:48,247
♪ Yeah, when I'm returning ♪
538
00:21:48,248 --> 00:21:50,709
♪ From so far away ♪
539
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:54,086
♪ She give me some
sweet lovin' ♪
540
00:21:54,087 --> 00:21:56,381
♪ Brighten up my day ♪
541
00:21:57,173 --> 00:22:00,551
♪ Yeah, and it make me
righteous ♪
542
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:03,388
♪ Yeah, and it make me whole ♪
543
00:22:03,805 --> 00:22:07,141
♪ Yeah, and it make me mellow ♪
544
00:22:07,142 --> 00:22:09,643
♪ Down into my soul ♪
545
00:22:09,644 --> 00:22:13,105
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
546
00:22:13,106 --> 00:22:14,858
♪ Crazy love ♪
547
00:22:15,608 --> 00:22:19,278
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
548
00:22:19,279 --> 00:22:21,489
♪ Crazy love ♪
549
00:22:22,157 --> 00:22:25,284
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
550
00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:27,412
♪ Crazy love ♪
551
00:22:28,121 --> 00:22:31,707
♪ She give me love
love, love, love ♪
552
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:35,587
♪ Crazy love ♪
553
00:22:37,839 --> 00:22:40,174
I'm Anik Archambault
with BROdude Sports.
554
00:22:40,175 --> 00:22:42,051
Welcome to coverage
of the EU All-Stars
555
00:22:42,052 --> 00:22:44,178
versus the NOSHO North Stars.
556
00:22:44,179 --> 00:22:47,056
I'm here with NOSHO
assistant coach Morris.
557
00:22:47,057 --> 00:22:49,308
Big Mo, the boys keeping warm?
558
00:22:49,309 --> 00:22:51,894
- Uh-huh.
- Where exactly?
559
00:22:51,895 --> 00:22:53,187
House over there.
560
00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:54,772
And the EU?
561
00:22:54,773 --> 00:22:55,898
Church over there.
562
00:22:55,899 --> 00:22:58,692
Northern hospitality,
ladies and gentlemen.
563
00:22:58,693 --> 00:23:01,695
Mo, Shoresy declined
this interview with BROdude
564
00:23:01,696 --> 00:23:05,158
and I've gotta say,
I'm hurt man! We go way back!
565
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,451
He'll get you after the game.
566
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:09,788
Putting his final touches
on the game plan?
567
00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:11,622
Plan's clear.
568
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:14,041
Well, the team's had
plenty of practice time.
569
00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:15,210
What's been the focus?
570
00:23:15,877 --> 00:23:18,837
But North American
players are not at the level
571
00:23:18,838 --> 00:23:20,005
they once were.
572
00:23:20,006 --> 00:23:21,673
Our record here proves
573
00:23:21,674 --> 00:23:24,802
that the players here
are overvalued.
574
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:28,722
Certainly not as tough as their
reputation would suggest.
575
00:23:28,723 --> 00:23:31,058
These guys are beating
the crap out of everybody!
576
00:23:31,059 --> 00:23:32,226
They're playing it better
577
00:23:32,227 --> 00:23:33,560
than we ever played it
over here!
578
00:23:33,561 --> 00:23:35,270
I could have done this
with little girls.
579
00:23:35,271 --> 00:23:36,980
Got us playing
the European game now.
580
00:23:36,981 --> 00:23:40,484
Thank God it's almost over!
581
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:43,404
The reputation for tough
hockey here has expired.
582
00:23:43,405 --> 00:23:44,822
They took away our tools.
583
00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:46,490
We are not scared of them.
584
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:48,701
This was nothing
short of embarrassing.
585
00:23:48,702 --> 00:23:50,244
- A thumping!
- Thrashing!
586
00:23:50,245 --> 00:23:53,080
- A walloping!
- Merciless beating!
587
00:23:53,081 --> 00:23:54,456
Shellacking!
588
00:23:54,457 --> 00:23:56,750
The North American game
is dying.
589
00:23:56,751 --> 00:23:57,668
Overrated.
590
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:01,339
Verified. Validated.
Confirmed.
591
00:24:07,637 --> 00:24:08,762
Here we go, now.
592
00:24:08,763 --> 00:24:10,014
Keith Primeau,
593
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:12,057
Keith Tkachuk, Billy Guerin,
594
00:24:12,058 --> 00:24:14,018
Brendan Shanahan,
Darien Hatcher.
595
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:15,811
- Scott Stevens.
- Yes, Captain Crunch.
596
00:24:15,812 --> 00:24:18,188
These guys are world-class
hockey players,
597
00:24:18,189 --> 00:24:19,857
and these guys will fuck you up.
598
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:21,567
Sure, the style of play
may be going,
599
00:24:21,568 --> 00:24:23,861
but that style of player
ain't goin' anywhere.
600
00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:26,322
Like a massive part
of the success of Canada
601
00:24:26,323 --> 00:24:27,614
and U.S. hockey
602
00:24:27,615 --> 00:24:29,366
on the international stage
has been the hitting.
603
00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:31,410
Some guys you put
a hockey stick in their hand,
604
00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:33,537
and they become a completely
different person.
605
00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:36,540
The guarantee that if you
play us, we will hurt you.
606
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:38,709
They can't help it.
They're just born that way.
607
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,627
- Beat 'em up.
- They're unbeatable!
608
00:24:40,628 --> 00:24:42,421
You guys are gonna give me
something to watch
609
00:24:42,422 --> 00:24:43,882
again this year, right?
610
00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,293
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
611
00:25:22,003 --> 00:25:23,672
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
612
00:25:25,215 --> 00:25:27,008
♪ Easy, easy ♪
613
00:25:28,468 --> 00:25:30,637
♪ Hold it down, hold it down ♪
614
00:25:32,305 --> 00:25:33,932
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
615
00:25:35,725 --> 00:25:37,519
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
616
00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:40,855
♪ Easy, easy ♪
617
00:25:42,357 --> 00:25:44,442
♪ Hold it down, hold it down ♪
618
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:15,473
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
619
00:26:17,017 --> 00:26:18,727
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
620
00:26:20,186 --> 00:26:21,980
♪ Easy, easy ♪
621
00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,524
♪ Hold it down, hold it down ♪
622
00:26:25,525 --> 00:26:27,026
♪ Hold it down ♪
623
00:26:27,027 --> 00:26:28,695
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
624
00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:32,490
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
625
00:26:34,117 --> 00:26:35,827
♪ Easy, easy ♪
626
00:26:37,579 --> 00:26:41,248
♪ Yes, UK massive
Yes, UK massive ♪
627
00:28:11,506 --> 00:28:14,676
difuze