1 00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:11,851 Captain's log, stardate 57436.2.h 2 00:00:11,895 --> 00:00:14,637 The Cerritos is docked at Douglas Station 3 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,727 for routine maintenance and resupply. 4 00:00:17,770 --> 00:00:19,772 We will soon set course for the capital planet 5 00:00:19,816 --> 00:00:21,731 on the Galar system, where we're scheduled 6 00:00:21,774 --> 00:00:25,300 to make second contact with the Galardonian high council. 7 00:00:25,343 --> 00:00:26,997 First contact is a delicate, 8 00:00:27,041 --> 00:00:29,173 high-stakes operation of diplomacy. 9 00:00:29,217 --> 00:00:32,350 One must be ready for anything when humanity is interacting 10 00:00:32,394 --> 00:00:35,440 with an alien race for the first time. 11 00:00:35,484 --> 00:00:37,573 But we don't do that. 12 00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:39,575 Our specialty is second contact. 13 00:00:39,618 --> 00:00:40,576 Still pretty important. 14 00:00:40,619 --> 00:00:42,056 We get all the paperwork signed, 15 00:00:42,099 --> 00:00:43,883 make sure we're spelling the name of the planet right, 16 00:00:43,927 --> 00:00:45,494 get to know all the good places to eat. 17 00:00:47,409 --> 00:00:48,932 Oh, my God. What are you doing? 18 00:00:48,976 --> 00:00:50,542 -Uh, nothing, nothing, nothing. I'm just... -Oh, no. 19 00:00:50,586 --> 00:00:52,327 -Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 20 00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:54,024 -Are you pretending to do a captain's log? 21 00:00:54,068 --> 00:00:55,852 - We're all supposed to keep logs. 22 00:00:55,895 --> 00:00:57,767 -Okay, let me listen to it. -No. Go away. 23 00:00:57,810 --> 00:00:59,073 -Leave me alone. No. No. -Ah! I can't believe 24 00:00:59,116 --> 00:01:00,639 you're wasting your shore leave on this. 25 00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,163 -Privacy, please. -Aah! Hey, time to go. 26 00:01:02,206 --> 00:01:03,120 -Come on. Get out of your little closet. -Privacy. 27 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,774 -Let's go. Come on. 28 00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:05,775 Are you drunk? 29 00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:07,037 Yeah, dude, you should be, too. 30 00:01:07,081 --> 00:01:08,560 I mean, this station is amazing. 31 00:01:08,604 --> 00:01:10,040 And they have Romulan whiskey. 32 00:01:10,084 --> 00:01:11,694 And I bet you thought it was going to be green, 33 00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,435 but it is actually blue. It's this very beautiful color. 34 00:01:13,478 --> 00:01:14,958 Romulan whiskey is against regulation. 35 00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:16,525 Yeah, 'cause it's awesome. 36 00:01:16,568 --> 00:01:18,005 Aw, man, they got all sorts of great stuff. 37 00:01:18,048 --> 00:01:19,658 Oh! Oh! Come on, check this out. 38 00:01:19,702 --> 00:01:21,051 - Oh, yeah. -Ah! Be careful with that! 39 00:01:21,095 --> 00:01:22,661 Pretty sweet, right? 40 00:01:22,705 --> 00:01:24,141 Yeah, it's a Klingon bat, um, bat, uh, bat-- 41 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,143 I don't know. I'm not a scientist. It doesn't matter. 42 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,015 -Shut up. I got it from an old guy with an eye patch. -Hey, hey. 43 00:01:28,058 --> 00:01:30,452 Come spar with me. Come on! Oh, we can be Klingons. 44 00:01:30,495 --> 00:01:32,149 We can have crimped hair, wrinkled foreheads. 45 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,890 -Worf, Worf, Worf. -It's got crusty blood on it! 46 00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:36,675 - I love honor! I demand honor! - Hey, stop. Stop! 47 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,154 Wow. 48 00:03:04,198 --> 00:03:05,982 Wow. 49 00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:10,682 Here we go. 50 00:03:10,726 --> 00:03:12,902 Ensign D'Vana Tendi, reporting for duty. 51 00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:14,512 I'm a transfer from Outpost 79. 52 00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:16,123 Deck Four. Follow the yellow line. 53 00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:17,472 Take the turbolift all the way down. 54 00:03:17,515 --> 00:03:18,951 Thank you so much. 55 00:03:18,995 --> 00:03:20,475 And can I just say that I'm really honored to be... 56 00:03:20,518 --> 00:03:21,780 Keep it moving, lower decks. 57 00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:23,042 Next! 58 00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:26,176 Banana, hot. 59 00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:27,177 Banana, hot. 60 00:03:27,221 --> 00:03:28,961 Aah! Frickin' burned me. 61 00:03:29,005 --> 00:03:31,138 Uh, i-is there an Ensign Boimler here? 62 00:03:31,181 --> 00:03:32,139 Banana, hot. 63 00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:34,663 Hi. Here, that's me. Ahoy. 64 00:03:34,706 --> 00:03:35,707 Ensign Tendi reporting for duty. 65 00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:37,187 You're my orientation liaison. 66 00:03:37,231 --> 00:03:39,755 Yes, welcome. Brad Boimler, Ensign, command division. 67 00:03:39,798 --> 00:03:41,148 Ah! Oh, my gosh. 68 00:03:41,191 --> 00:03:42,758 I've never worked with commanders before. 69 00:03:42,801 --> 00:03:44,063 I'm in sciences. 70 00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:45,978 I love science. Uh, it's so sciency. 71 00:03:46,022 --> 00:03:47,806 I mean, that blue goes green with your great-- 72 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:49,199 -I mean, great, with your-- oh, my gosh. -Yo-yo, what up? 73 00:03:49,243 --> 00:03:51,245 Beckett Mariner, also an ensign, command division, 74 00:03:51,288 --> 00:03:53,508 but not quite as impressed with myself 75 00:03:53,551 --> 00:03:55,510 as this little rascal over here. 76 00:03:55,553 --> 00:03:57,120 Yeah, we're not actual commanders, by the way, 77 00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:58,991 -we're more like commanders-in-training. 78 00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:00,906 I can't believe we're gonna serve side by side, 79 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,213 scientists and commanders, an elite team. 80 00:04:03,257 --> 00:04:04,780 Yeah, no, we're not really elite. 81 00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:07,174 We're more like the cool, scrappy underdogs of the ship. 82 00:04:07,217 --> 00:04:08,827 You know, we don't wash our hands, 83 00:04:08,871 --> 00:04:10,220 we're doing kickflips all the time. 84 00:04:10,264 --> 00:04:12,091 But with focus and dedication, 85 00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:15,225 you could be chief medical officer someday. 86 00:04:15,269 --> 00:04:16,748 Oh, senior officers are overrated. 87 00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:17,923 They're always, like, stressed out 88 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,534 and just yelling about directives. 89 00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,579 It is better down here, where the real action is. 90 00:04:21,623 --> 00:04:23,233 You really don't care about moving up in rank? 91 00:04:23,277 --> 00:04:25,192 Been there, definitely over it. 92 00:04:25,235 --> 00:04:27,672 Whenever you think for yourself, they knock you back down. 93 00:04:27,716 --> 00:04:29,239 You know, for someone who claims to hate rank, 94 00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:30,980 you certainly bring it up a lot. 95 00:04:31,023 --> 00:04:32,721 Yes, I'm very complicated, thank you. 96 00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:35,680 -Ooh, you want the tour? -O-Of the-the ship? Uh, yes! 97 00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:36,942 You don't like giving the tour. 98 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,857 True, but I do... 99 00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:40,207 ...have a big box of shore leave contraband 100 00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,860 I need help with. 101 00:04:41,904 --> 00:04:44,341 The senior officers are all up here, 102 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,691 then you've got Engineering, science stations. 103 00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:49,912 All sorts of ops around here... 104 00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:52,610 Ops, ops, ops, storage, ops. 105 00:04:52,654 --> 00:04:54,612 Actually, there's like a ton of ops. 106 00:04:54,656 --> 00:04:57,224 -It's like, guys, I think we have ops covered. 107 00:04:57,267 --> 00:04:59,226 -And we're here? -Well, no. We're actually way down here. 108 00:04:59,269 --> 00:05:00,792 What this map doesn't show you 109 00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:03,186 is that everything from, like, this deck up, 110 00:05:03,230 --> 00:05:04,622 super lame, not important to us. 111 00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:05,884 -You like the bar. -All right, fine. 112 00:05:05,928 --> 00:05:07,799 -Everything except the bar. -And the bridge. 113 00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:08,887 -The bridge is not cool. -Yes, it is. 114 00:05:08,931 --> 00:05:10,237 Oh, hey, that's Rutherford. 115 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,586 Rutherford, what's up? 116 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,764 Yo, yo, yo, slow down. Is your thingy acting up? 117 00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:17,287 Rutherford's an engineer, oh, and, as of a couple weeks ago, 118 00:05:17,331 --> 00:05:18,897 cybernetically enhanced. 119 00:05:18,941 --> 00:05:21,291 Ooh, I've never met a recent cyborg. 120 00:05:21,335 --> 00:05:23,641 Hey, nice to meet you. Welcome to the crew. 121 00:05:23,685 --> 00:05:25,730 Wait, don't you have a date with Ensign Barnes tonight? 122 00:05:25,774 --> 00:05:28,124 -Sure do. -She's crazy hot. Are you nervous? 123 00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:31,301 Trying to be, but this thing keeps tamping it down. 124 00:05:31,345 --> 00:05:33,085 Yikes. Okay, you got it. 125 00:05:33,129 --> 00:05:35,262 Uh-oh, I'm nervous. What if I say something stupid? 126 00:05:35,305 --> 00:05:37,089 What if she doesn't like the way that I look? 127 00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:39,744 Ah, I can only look one way. I can't change it by tonight! 128 00:05:39,788 --> 00:05:41,355 -Better? -Yeah, thanks. 129 00:05:41,398 --> 00:05:43,226 What if she hates my jokes? I don't know any jokes. 130 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,706 Oh, I'm gonna puke. 131 00:05:44,749 --> 00:05:45,968 What else? 132 00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,230 That's a room of switches and dials 133 00:05:47,274 --> 00:05:48,536 you'll never need to go into. 134 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:50,015 It's actually a pretty important processing hub. 135 00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,409 Nobody knows what that room is. 136 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,106 It's a pattern-buffer maintenance access. 137 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,282 She knows that. She's being funny. 138 00:05:55,325 --> 00:05:57,371 Ah, and this is Boimler's hidey closet, 139 00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:59,416 where he pretends to be a captain like a big boy. 140 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,809 This is not a good tour! 141 00:06:02,419 --> 00:06:03,942 So, yeah, we kind of sleep in a hallway. 142 00:06:03,986 --> 00:06:05,770 It's a little disappointing, 143 00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:07,990 but eventually, when you rank up, you get your own room. 144 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,035 We're pretty close to the showers, which is nice. 145 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,037 Does get kind of musty, though. 146 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,431 Which is weird 'cause the showers are sonic. 147 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:17,216 Whoa. Whoa. 148 00:06:18,392 --> 00:06:20,350 It's... perfect. 149 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:22,352 Well, once you get settled, you should probably check in 150 00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:24,006 with Nurse Westlake in Medical. 151 00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,268 You'll be assisting him with some basic... 152 00:06:25,312 --> 00:06:26,965 Ooh, let's go check out the holodeck. 153 00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:28,793 -She doesn't have time for that. -How do you know? 154 00:06:28,837 --> 00:06:29,968 Because I'm her liaison. 155 00:06:30,012 --> 00:06:31,361 Oh, yeah, then what time is it? 156 00:06:31,405 --> 00:06:33,885 And don't check, because if she doesn't have time, 157 00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,757 then you should know what time it is. 158 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,020 Otherwise, you're just trying to sound important. 159 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:40,327 So, what time is it? 160 00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:41,719 Welcome to the holodeck. 161 00:06:41,763 --> 00:06:43,155 Easily the best part of the ship. 162 00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:45,027 The warp core is the best part of the ship, 163 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,245 uh, followed by the bridge, 164 00:06:46,289 --> 00:06:47,943 the photon torpedo tubes, cetacean ops... 165 00:06:47,986 --> 00:06:49,684 Dude, the warp core is just a big glowing tube. 166 00:06:49,727 --> 00:06:51,903 I love the warp core. The warp core rules. 167 00:06:51,947 --> 00:06:53,165 No, it doesn't. 168 00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:55,167 Computer, find us a beach in Hawaii. 169 00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:57,387 What is this? 170 00:06:57,431 --> 00:07:00,303 This stuff is crazy. What does it do? 171 00:07:00,347 --> 00:07:02,000 Oh, it just gets everywhere and gives you a rash. 172 00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,306 You get a rash from sand? 173 00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:04,873 -What, you don't? -No. Nobody does. 174 00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:06,788 Oh, God, I always do. 175 00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:08,398 Go ahead, take her for a spin. 176 00:07:08,442 --> 00:07:11,445 Computer, can you put us in the Adashake Center on Orion? 177 00:07:13,055 --> 00:07:16,014 Wow, I never made time to go before I enlisted. 178 00:07:16,058 --> 00:07:19,148 Pretty cool, right? You can go almost anywhere you can imagine. 179 00:07:19,191 --> 00:07:21,063 -Come on, Boimler. Give it a whirl. -I-I don't know. 180 00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:23,413 Come on, there has to be somewhere you'd love to be. 181 00:07:23,457 --> 00:07:26,373 Um... Computer, show us the warp core. 182 00:07:27,461 --> 00:07:29,376 Wow! Amazing. 183 00:07:29,419 --> 00:07:31,769 What an impressive feat of engineering. 184 00:07:31,813 --> 00:07:33,902 You really bum me out sometimes. 185 00:07:33,945 --> 00:07:35,338 Ensign Boimler, report to the bridge. 186 00:07:35,382 --> 00:07:37,166 You work on the bridge? 187 00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:38,646 Yeah. That's right. 188 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,952 Because they appreciate people who follow the rules. 189 00:07:40,996 --> 00:07:42,301 Who's boring now? 190 00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:43,520 On my way. 191 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,435 Wow, does he get to go up there a lot? 192 00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:47,785 Nah, just whenever someone spills a drink or something. 193 00:07:47,829 --> 00:07:49,439 Computer, load Mariner program 194 00:07:49,483 --> 00:07:51,267 "all-nude Olympic training facility." 195 00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:53,051 You might want to back up a bit. 196 00:07:55,097 --> 00:07:58,056 Wow, this is a very detailed program. 197 00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:08,763 Farewell, Commander. 198 00:08:08,806 --> 00:08:10,417 Thanks again for your hospitality, Chancellor. 199 00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:13,245 We'll be sending construction teams down to help with the... 200 00:08:13,289 --> 00:08:15,073 to help with the subspace comm array 201 00:08:15,117 --> 00:08:16,901 as soon as we load up the supplies. 202 00:08:16,945 --> 00:08:19,426 Ransom to Cerritos. Five to beam up. 203 00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:26,258 Should you get that looked at, sir? 204 00:08:26,302 --> 00:08:27,956 Eh, I'll be fine. 205 00:08:27,999 --> 00:08:30,262 -Want to grab a drink tonight? - You know it. 206 00:08:30,306 --> 00:08:33,440 Nothing like a cold beer after a smooth second contact. 207 00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:35,006 Now, that's what I'm talking about. 208 00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:37,444 Oh, yeah. 209 00:08:39,576 --> 00:08:42,274 Bridge. 210 00:08:48,977 --> 00:08:50,848 Ensign. 211 00:08:50,892 --> 00:08:53,111 Sorry, what? 212 00:08:53,155 --> 00:08:55,984 I said why aren't you at your post, Ensign? 213 00:08:56,027 --> 00:08:57,855 Ransom, report. 214 00:08:57,899 --> 00:08:59,857 Coordination with the Galardonian high council 215 00:08:59,901 --> 00:09:01,337 is ahead of schedule, Captain. 216 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,512 Excellent. Keep me posted. 217 00:09:02,556 --> 00:09:04,558 Ensign, you're with me. 218 00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:09,388 Brad Boimler. 219 00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:12,870 Born Modesto, California, commissioned in '79. 220 00:09:12,914 --> 00:09:15,351 Not a single demerit. You keep a personal log? 221 00:09:15,394 --> 00:09:17,614 -Sometimes five a day. -That's excessive. 222 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,529 Do you see a captain's chair in your future? 223 00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:22,010 -I hope so, ma'am. -Well, I see a lot of potential 224 00:09:22,053 --> 00:09:25,535 in you, son, which is why I'm giving you a special assignment. 225 00:09:25,579 --> 00:09:28,146 Really? I mean, of course, yes, whatever you need. 226 00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:29,887 Keep an eye on Ensign Mariner. 227 00:09:29,931 --> 00:09:33,064 If she breaks protocol, I want a full report. 228 00:09:33,108 --> 00:09:35,589 Sorry, ma'am, is something wrong? 229 00:09:35,632 --> 00:09:38,330 I like my crew working in lockstep. 230 00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:40,507 There isn't any wiggle room on the Cerritos. 231 00:09:40,550 --> 00:09:43,510 Not when lives are at stake. Do you disagree? 232 00:09:43,553 --> 00:09:45,947 -No, ma'am. -Good. Dismissed. 233 00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:49,864 Ensign, let's keep this between us, shall we? 234 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,520 What? Oh, man, 235 00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:55,565 I would kill to work on the deflector dish. 236 00:09:55,609 --> 00:09:58,002 Most of my day is spent repairing food replicators. 237 00:09:58,046 --> 00:10:00,265 -They really break that often? -Only when you get food in 'em. 238 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,397 Ah, at least you don't have to be around 239 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,398 Lieutenant Commander Billups. 240 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:03,660 Knowing how to talk to women 241 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,010 is kind of that guy's final frontier. 242 00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:09,361 -That is illogical! -Oh! S-Sorry. 243 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:10,580 I-Is he a friend of yours? 244 00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:12,539 No, no, no, no-- it's this Vulcan implant. 245 00:10:12,582 --> 00:10:14,541 It keeps on randomly suppressing my emotional reactions. 246 00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:16,368 Sorry if this is making it weird. 247 00:10:16,412 --> 00:10:18,327 I'm just not used to being a cyborg yet. 248 00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:20,547 Actually, my dad was a cyborg. 249 00:10:22,636 --> 00:10:24,333 Shaxs drop his latte again? 250 00:10:24,376 --> 00:10:26,422 Guy's got baby hands. -No. 251 00:10:26,465 --> 00:10:28,424 "Computer, send me a suck-up to clean up my mess. 252 00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:30,426 I have a giant torso and little hands. Over." 253 00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:33,342 - Right? -Yeah, hilarious. 254 00:10:35,257 --> 00:10:38,173 All right, people, you know the plan. 255 00:10:38,216 --> 00:10:42,656 Let's get this array set up so the, uh, "Galardonians" 256 00:10:42,699 --> 00:10:45,093 can communicate with the rest of the Federation. 257 00:10:48,705 --> 00:10:51,055 Oh, man, this is really nice. 258 00:10:51,099 --> 00:10:53,231 I'm glad we got to sit down and get to know each other 259 00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:54,406 without any interruptions. 260 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:14,252 Set phasers to stun! 261 00:11:16,515 --> 00:11:18,561 So, where are you quartered? 262 00:11:18,605 --> 00:11:21,608 Deck Nine, by the squash courts. 263 00:11:21,651 --> 00:11:23,697 Someone brought a virus back from the planet. 264 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:27,570 This is happening all over the ship. 265 00:11:27,614 --> 00:11:29,659 I've never played squash. Is it fun? 266 00:11:29,703 --> 00:11:31,618 We should play sometime. 267 00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:38,450 Oh, yeah, it's all gonna be over subspace. 268 00:11:38,494 --> 00:11:40,496 You're gonna love it. 269 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:49,418 Unbelievable. 270 00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,208 Hey, you. Green girl! 271 00:11:57,252 --> 00:11:58,819 Strap patients down as they come in. 272 00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,603 Double them up if you have to. They aren't going to infect 273 00:12:00,647 --> 00:12:03,301 -each other twice. -But, uh, uh, 274 00:12:03,345 --> 00:12:05,608 I was actually supposed to be assisting Nurse Westlake. 275 00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:07,697 That isNurse Westlake. 276 00:12:09,743 --> 00:12:12,702 Wow, it's such an honor to meet you, sir. 277 00:12:12,746 --> 00:12:15,487 I'm looking forward to working with you. 278 00:12:20,797 --> 00:12:22,364 -Aha! 279 00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:23,757 Boimler! Ugh, don't jump out at people. 280 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,237 For real, man. You're lucky I didn't phaser you. 281 00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:28,370 You're selling Federation weapons to these guys, 282 00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:29,632 -aren't you? -Yo, calm down. 283 00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:31,155 No! 284 00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:33,505 I'm sick of you pushing me around! 285 00:12:33,549 --> 00:12:36,334 Explain yourself right here! 286 00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:37,814 Boims, you need to shut up. Listen to me. 287 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,337 You know nothing. Shut your mouth. 288 00:12:39,381 --> 00:12:41,078 Uh, we're just gonna take off. 289 00:12:41,122 --> 00:12:43,341 -Nobody move! 290 00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,735 Selling Starfleet technology without the express consent 291 00:12:45,779 --> 00:12:48,390 of the Federation Council is a breach of regulations 292 00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:49,826 498 and 756 of... 293 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,481 And regulations 25, 15, 348. 294 00:12:52,524 --> 00:12:54,788 You're breaking 76 just for pointing that phaser at me. 295 00:12:54,831 --> 00:12:56,528 Fine, you know more regulations than me. 296 00:12:56,572 --> 00:12:57,704 I still have to stop you. 297 00:12:57,747 --> 00:12:59,575 It's farm equipment, you idiot. 298 00:12:59,618 --> 00:13:01,533 -They're farmers. -I'm not an idiot. 299 00:13:01,577 --> 00:13:03,622 You expect me to believe that...? 300 00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,581 Shovel and hoe? 301 00:13:13,763 --> 00:13:15,417 Run, idiot! 302 00:13:23,294 --> 00:13:24,600 What's it doing? 303 00:13:24,643 --> 00:13:26,558 It's shooting butt-webbing at a tree. 304 00:13:26,602 --> 00:13:27,864 I-It looks pretty pissed. 305 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:28,865 Well, I hope you're happy. 306 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,737 You left your post. 307 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:33,478 Oh, I am so sorry I made sure that some humble farmers, 308 00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,611 who can't afford to wait for Starfleet bureaucracy 309 00:13:35,654 --> 00:13:37,744 to notice them, got some help so they didn't have to starve. 310 00:13:37,787 --> 00:13:39,571 How did you even know these guys exist? 311 00:13:44,576 --> 00:13:47,666 Because I was here for first contact last year on the Quito, 312 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:50,539 before I got my ass demoted and transferred to the Cerritos. 313 00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:52,671 Well, I didn't know that. 314 00:13:52,715 --> 00:13:55,674 I have served on five ships, man. I have seen stuff. 315 00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:57,589 One time, I got trapped in a sentient cave for weeks. 316 00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:59,722 You ever been trapped in a sentient cave? 317 00:13:59,766 --> 00:14:01,811 That's a dark place that knows things. 318 00:14:01,855 --> 00:14:04,466 I almost got my head taken off by a singing crystal. 319 00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:06,642 I've been in a Klingon prison where I had to fight a yeti 320 00:14:06,685 --> 00:14:08,600 for my own shoes for no reason. 321 00:14:08,644 --> 00:14:10,254 He was just being a dick. 322 00:14:10,298 --> 00:14:11,429 You've been on, what, four planets? 323 00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:13,605 Five, if you include Vulcan. 324 00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:14,693 Of course I don't include stupid Vulcan. 325 00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:15,825 You may as well count Earth. 326 00:14:15,869 --> 00:14:17,740 I wascounting Earth. 327 00:14:17,784 --> 00:14:20,830 You don't know anything except what's in your manuals. 328 00:14:20,874 --> 00:14:22,614 Since you can't think for yourself, how about you 329 00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:24,312 follow my lead, and maybe we'll get out of this alive? 330 00:14:24,355 --> 00:14:26,836 Ensign Boimler to Cerritos. Two for emergency trans... 331 00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:30,840 Are you insane? 332 00:14:30,884 --> 00:14:32,929 We can't just beam out of here. These guys need that animal. 333 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,714 -Even if it eats us? -General Order 5. 334 00:14:35,758 --> 00:14:37,412 Fine, okay. How about we stun it? 335 00:14:37,455 --> 00:14:39,588 -We'll just stun it. -No. That could spoil the milk. 336 00:14:39,631 --> 00:14:41,285 -Spoil what milk? -These guys probably milk it. 337 00:14:41,329 --> 00:14:42,678 -Oh, like you even know. - Ooh. 338 00:14:42,721 --> 00:14:44,767 -Take off your pants. - Mariner. 339 00:14:45,942 --> 00:14:47,857 -Five ships. 340 00:14:47,901 --> 00:14:49,598 Yeti shoes. I am always right. 341 00:14:49,641 --> 00:14:51,339 Take them off now. 342 00:14:57,258 --> 00:14:58,868 Yes, it's working. 343 00:14:58,912 --> 00:15:01,479 Man, look at that thing just tear into that dummy. 344 00:15:01,523 --> 00:15:02,959 Okay, here we go, get ready to jump. 345 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,265 Wait, why isn't it attacking youruniform? 346 00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:06,484 It's going to town on mine. 347 00:15:06,528 --> 00:15:08,573 -Random chance? Who cares? On my mark. -I care. 348 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,749 I say we wait for it to destroy both of our uniforms. 349 00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:11,925 Mark! 350 00:15:12,926 --> 00:15:14,492 Jump, Boimler! 351 00:15:14,536 --> 00:15:15,885 Come on, it's safe. It can't reach back this far. 352 00:15:15,929 --> 00:15:17,495 Man. 353 00:15:17,539 --> 00:15:18,845 Oh! 354 00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,847 Phaser it! Phaser it! Phaser it! 355 00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:23,284 Please don't phaser her. It'll spoil the milk. 356 00:15:23,327 --> 00:15:24,851 Did you hear that? 357 00:15:24,894 --> 00:15:26,983 -Uh, I can't let it eat him. -She's an herbivore. 358 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,507 She's just gumming on him to suckle out some moisture. 359 00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:31,901 Oh, okay. Hey, Brad. Good news, buddy. 360 00:15:31,945 --> 00:15:34,817 So, I've ju-- it's just suckling you, I've just learned. 361 00:15:34,861 --> 00:15:36,514 -You're fine. -Help! 362 00:15:36,558 --> 00:15:38,299 Hang in there, you got this. It is getting tired. 363 00:15:38,342 --> 00:15:40,431 So go to your happy place, like, ooh, 364 00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:41,955 think about the warp core. 365 00:15:43,565 --> 00:15:44,958 You, uh, want a snack or something? 366 00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:47,221 Yeah, you got any of that milk? 367 00:15:47,264 --> 00:15:49,266 All uninfected crew meet at Transporter Room Eight. 368 00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:51,442 We have to get to the rally point. 369 00:15:51,486 --> 00:15:53,967 I guess we better go for a walk. 370 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,276 There's a maintenance hatch on the other side of the saucer 371 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,670 that should give us access to Deck Eight. 372 00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,019 What kind of music are you into? 373 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,629 We have just enough oxygen to get there, 374 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,283 but we're cutting it close. 375 00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:08,895 I really like this classical band called The Monkees. 376 00:16:08,938 --> 00:16:10,244 Ever heard of 'em? 377 00:16:10,287 --> 00:16:11,593 Let's just say "I'm a Believer." 378 00:16:42,624 --> 00:16:45,453 Mmm. Wow. I wasn't expecting that. 379 00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:46,802 What did you expect? 380 00:16:46,845 --> 00:16:48,021 Well, for these maintenance hatch doors 381 00:16:48,064 --> 00:16:49,457 to recognize our combadges. 382 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,590 Oh, no, I mean what just happened? 383 00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:54,984 I'm more worried about what didn't just happen. 384 00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:56,943 Failure analysis estimates the reliability 385 00:16:56,986 --> 00:16:59,989 of this mechanism at one out of 4.69 repeating. 386 00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:02,426 -Oh, are you seeing this? 387 00:17:04,341 --> 00:17:05,995 -The anesthetic is useless. 388 00:17:06,039 --> 00:17:07,997 We have to work through the pain. Your hands clean? 389 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:10,478 -Uh... -Pump this. Don't pass out. 390 00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:12,741 Nobody's authorized to pass out! 391 00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:15,004 That's my heart! It hurts when you pump it! 392 00:17:15,048 --> 00:17:16,440 -Oh, God! Oh... -Sorry. 393 00:17:16,484 --> 00:17:19,530 -Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. -Oh, God. Oh! 394 00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:30,106 Okay, there we go, man, yeah. 395 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,108 See? I told you it'd be okay. 396 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,328 My bones. 397 00:17:34,371 --> 00:17:35,633 You'll be fine. Doc'll wave a light over it. 398 00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:36,852 We got to get back to camp. 399 00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:37,984 You took way too long with that thing. 400 00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:41,639 -But I'm naked. 401 00:17:44,077 --> 00:17:46,601 At least we got to help those guys. 402 00:17:46,644 --> 00:17:48,342 I think we make a pretty good team, Boimler. 403 00:17:48,385 --> 00:17:50,866 You may as well know, I've been monitoring you. 404 00:17:50,909 --> 00:17:52,085 I'm supposed to report any breach of conduct 405 00:17:52,128 --> 00:17:53,651 to the captain. 406 00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:55,392 We've been serving together for a year, 407 00:17:55,436 --> 00:17:57,090 and I still don't get why you worship those guys. 408 00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,134 They're heroes. 409 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,701 All they care about is glory. 410 00:17:59,744 --> 00:18:01,833 Stuff that could earn them a mention in the history books. 411 00:18:01,877 --> 00:18:03,096 They don't really care about us. 412 00:18:03,139 --> 00:18:04,880 No way, no. The captain tries her hardest 413 00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,013 to support all of us, she just doesn't always have time to... 414 00:18:07,056 --> 00:18:08,362 Look, I don't have to defend her. 415 00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:09,885 You're not gonna talk me out of reporting you. 416 00:18:17,675 --> 00:18:19,851 -Whoa! What the hell? 417 00:18:19,895 --> 00:18:22,724 Keep the doors secure. The crew depends on us. 418 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:25,031 -We can't let them down. 419 00:18:26,554 --> 00:18:27,946 Captain, I'm sure you're wondering 420 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,557 -where my uniform is. -Shaxs, what are my options? 421 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,820 I recommend we detonate the entire warp core, Captain. 422 00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:33,126 -What? No. 423 00:18:33,169 --> 00:18:34,779 We need to get this man to sickbay immediately. 424 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,520 He is very important. 425 00:18:36,564 --> 00:18:37,695 What makes him so special? 426 00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:38,783 Nothing. He's worthless. 427 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,524 It's the slime, Captain. 428 00:18:40,568 --> 00:18:43,484 He's covered in slime that could save us all. 429 00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:46,182 Everyone, protect this slime. 430 00:19:07,116 --> 00:19:08,900 Holy . 431 00:19:08,944 --> 00:19:12,121 This substance completely neutralizes the rage effect. 432 00:19:12,165 --> 00:19:13,514 It came from this spider cow thing. 433 00:19:13,557 --> 00:19:14,732 I-I could tell you all about it. 434 00:19:14,776 --> 00:19:17,083 But can you synthesize a cure, Doctor? 435 00:19:17,126 --> 00:19:19,563 Hmm. I better. You don't have much time. 436 00:19:19,607 --> 00:19:21,130 Ooh, should've washed those hands, Captain. 437 00:19:21,174 --> 00:19:22,653 Stow it, Mariner. 438 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:26,092 Ah, ah, ah... 439 00:19:26,135 --> 00:19:28,442 Oh, what happened? Where am I? 440 00:19:28,485 --> 00:19:30,748 And did I eat flesh? 441 00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:33,099 -Uh, hardly any. -How much did I eat?! 442 00:19:42,151 --> 00:19:44,588 -It's working! -Looks like you'll get to publish 443 00:19:44,632 --> 00:19:46,155 more award-winning research, Doc. 444 00:19:46,199 --> 00:19:49,071 -Great, more paperwork. 445 00:19:49,115 --> 00:19:50,768 How much did I eat? 446 00:19:50,812 --> 00:19:52,466 Uh, this guy saved your asses. Ensign Brad Boimler. 447 00:19:52,509 --> 00:19:54,032 Put thatin the paperwork. 448 00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:58,036 Still, uh, happy to be here? 449 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,779 Are you kidding? I got to hold a heart! 450 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:06,784 Once again, solely thanks to the brilliant efforts 451 00:20:06,828 --> 00:20:08,177 of Dr. T'Ana, 452 00:20:08,221 --> 00:20:09,787 the crew is saved. 453 00:20:09,831 --> 00:20:12,181 Undetected by the first contact team, 454 00:20:12,225 --> 00:20:15,619 the alien virus is exactly the type of eventuality 455 00:20:15,663 --> 00:20:18,187 that can make a second contact mission 456 00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:20,276 a life-or-death situation. 457 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,279 Luckily, my senior staff are always up for a challenge. 458 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,542 End recording. 459 00:20:25,586 --> 00:20:26,543 Sorry about that, Ensign Bumford. 460 00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:27,544 What do you have to report? 461 00:20:27,588 --> 00:20:29,633 -Boimler. -Pardon? 462 00:20:29,677 --> 00:20:31,113 It's Boimler, not Bumford. 463 00:20:31,157 --> 00:20:33,637 Wha-What about Mariner? Did she follow protocol? 464 00:20:33,681 --> 00:20:35,596 Yeah, I think so. We spent the whole day 465 00:20:35,639 --> 00:20:37,554 just adjusting the subspace comm array. 466 00:20:37,598 --> 00:20:39,513 This says you came back covered in bite marks, 467 00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:40,818 wearing an alien frock. 468 00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:42,690 What, she had nothing to do with that? 469 00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,909 You know, I don't remember much. 470 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,216 Maybe that goo that saved the ship 471 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,739 messed with my memory. 472 00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,306 Nothing insubordinate? 473 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,047 -Not that I saw. -Unbelievable. 474 00:20:52,090 --> 00:20:54,963 Thank you, Ensign Boimler. 475 00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:57,183 Dismissed. 476 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,012 Everything all right, Captain Freeman? 477 00:21:01,056 --> 00:21:03,319 I heard you had some sort of rage virus? 478 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,191 Ransom tried to eat a guy. We're fine. 479 00:21:05,234 --> 00:21:06,714 Listen, I've had enough. 480 00:21:06,757 --> 00:21:08,368 I'm throwing her in the brig. 481 00:21:08,411 --> 00:21:09,934 We already tried that. You know it doesn't work. 482 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,936 -She loves the brig. -She undermines me 483 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,896 -in front of the crew! -I'm sure nobody notices. 484 00:21:14,939 --> 00:21:17,333 -Yeah, they do. -Sweetheart, just... 485 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,030 Don't you "sweetheart" me. We agreed, if she 486 00:21:19,074 --> 00:21:20,945 didn't fit in here, you'd send her back to the Quito. 487 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,643 Well, she doesn't fit in! 488 00:21:22,686 --> 00:21:24,732 I got to go. Admiral stuff. Love you. 489 00:21:24,775 --> 00:21:26,734 Don't you hang up on me! She's your daughter, too! 490 00:21:26,777 --> 00:21:28,257 -Hanging up now. -Don't you dare. 491 00:21:28,301 --> 00:21:29,519 -Finger's on the button. -Don't you... don't you... 492 00:21:29,563 --> 00:21:30,651 -Uh, I-I'm losing you. -I said don't... 493 00:21:30,694 --> 00:21:33,219 Oh, no. Did the rage virus ruin your date? 494 00:21:33,262 --> 00:21:35,221 Nah, that stuff happens all the time. 495 00:21:35,264 --> 00:21:37,701 Oh, good. So, was she as great as everyone says? 496 00:21:37,745 --> 00:21:39,268 Yeah. She was smart and pretty 497 00:21:39,312 --> 00:21:42,228 and, ooh, highly effective in a ship-wide crisis. 498 00:21:42,271 --> 00:21:44,012 So, tell me, are you guys a thing? 499 00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:46,232 -Yeah, I'm not seeing her again. -Well, you survived 500 00:21:46,275 --> 00:21:47,755 an epic life-threatening situation together. 501 00:21:47,798 --> 00:21:49,757 -Don't you share a bond? -Oh, for sure. 502 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,107 But she had zero interest in figuring out why a red alert 503 00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:54,327 overrode Maintenance Hatch 70's access protocols. 504 00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:56,329 It's, like, can you even imagine? 505 00:21:56,372 --> 00:21:58,244 I-I'm sorry. What? 506 00:21:58,287 --> 00:22:00,898 -It did?! -Yes. I mean, who has time for romance 507 00:22:00,942 --> 00:22:02,596 when there's a level two diagnostic 508 00:22:02,639 --> 00:22:04,250 just sitting there waiting to be run? 509 00:22:04,293 --> 00:22:05,903 Mm-mm. Don't have to tell me twice. 510 00:22:05,947 --> 00:22:07,383 I am right there. 511 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,603 -Mariner. - Boimler. 512 00:22:09,646 --> 00:22:11,648 I wanted to thank you. 513 00:22:11,692 --> 00:22:13,128 It felt good helping those people. 514 00:22:13,171 --> 00:22:14,651 I mean, you might be... 515 00:22:14,695 --> 00:22:16,305 Mm, better than you in every single way? 516 00:22:16,349 --> 00:22:18,786 Unorthodox, but-- I can't believe I'm saying it-- 517 00:22:18,829 --> 00:22:21,049 Starfleet is better with you in it. 518 00:22:21,092 --> 00:22:23,007 Wait, so you didn't tattle on me? 519 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,095 I did not. 520 00:22:24,139 --> 00:22:26,315 Boimler! Wha...? No way, man! 521 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,099 I had you pegged wrong. 522 00:22:28,143 --> 00:22:30,319 Yeah, I thought you were, like, a boring worker drone. 523 00:22:30,363 --> 00:22:32,321 And you are, but inside that drone is 524 00:22:32,365 --> 00:22:34,889 an ambitious little weasel, and inside that weasel 525 00:22:34,932 --> 00:22:37,108 might be a tiny human being. 526 00:22:37,152 --> 00:22:38,675 That's, uh, sort of unfair. 527 00:22:38,719 --> 00:22:40,373 This is a moment, man. Ooh, this is a mood. 528 00:22:40,416 --> 00:22:42,331 Okay? And I do not care how long it takes, 529 00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:44,290 we're going to get your butt in a captain's chair. 530 00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:45,900 -This isn't a big deal. -Mm, guess what. 531 00:22:45,943 --> 00:22:46,988 I'm your new mentor. Boom. 532 00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:48,424 Surprise, bitch, it's done. 533 00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,731 -How does it feel? -No, you can't just decide. 534 00:22:50,774 --> 00:22:52,428 -Whoa. She's your mentor? -No, she's not. -Come on, guys! Lower decks! 535 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:54,125 -Lower decks! Lower decks! -Congrats, man. 536 00:22:54,169 --> 00:22:55,910 - That's cool. - Teamwork! Spirit! 537 00:22:55,953 --> 00:22:57,955 Community! Lower decks! Lower decks! 538 00:22:57,999 --> 00:22:59,957 Lower decks! You're gonna be my cha'DIch 539 00:23:00,001 --> 00:23:01,785 -from now on, baby! -I don't want lessons from you. 540 00:23:01,829 --> 00:23:03,134 Okay, Klingons? They're all about fighting. 541 00:23:03,178 --> 00:23:04,092 They're always making oaths about everything. 542 00:23:04,135 --> 00:23:05,093 Everyone knows that. 543 00:23:05,136 --> 00:23:06,268 Do you know about Spock? 544 00:23:06,312 --> 00:23:07,661 Dude came back... from being dead! 545 00:23:07,704 --> 00:23:09,010 Yeah, I think I've heard of Spock. 546 00:23:09,053 --> 00:23:10,359 He got frickin' Genesis-deviced and fought Khan 547 00:23:10,403 --> 00:23:11,795 -and some space whales! -Can we just go back 548 00:23:11,839 --> 00:23:13,144 -to not being friends? -How about Sulu? 549 00:23:13,188 --> 00:23:14,972 Ooh, he rocked a sword. That was his thing. 550 00:23:15,016 --> 00:23:16,974 That could be your thing, too! We're due for a new sword guy! 551 00:23:17,018 --> 00:23:18,802 What can I do to make this stop, please? 552 00:23:18,846 --> 00:23:20,804 - Mm, do you know Kirk? My man Worf? - Yes. Yes! 553 00:23:20,848 --> 00:23:22,719 - Gary Mitchell? - I'm sure I could look him up. 554 00:23:22,763 --> 00:23:24,547 You don't have to, because you have a mentor! 555 00:23:24,591 --> 00:23:26,288 - No. Don't touch me. - Do you know Deanna Troi? 556 00:23:26,332 --> 00:23:28,377 Her body be bangin'! She went from a jumpsuit... 557 00:25:57,047 --> 00:25:58,048 Chirp.