1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,779 Stardate 57538.9. 2 00:00:03,864 --> 00:00:06,793 The Cerritos is working alongside the USS Merced 3 00:00:06,878 --> 00:00:09,130 in the relocation of an ancient generation ship, 4 00:00:09,215 --> 00:00:11,154 which, due to some unknown calamity, 5 00:00:11,239 --> 00:00:13,153 never reached its destination. 6 00:00:13,332 --> 00:00:15,317 Her crew, adrift for centuries, 7 00:00:15,402 --> 00:00:17,591 mummified in disabled cryo units. 8 00:00:17,676 --> 00:00:19,293 Their most precious cargo... 9 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,572 Mysterious containers of molecular fluid 10 00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:24,692 which generates life from inorganic material. 11 00:00:24,848 --> 00:00:27,507 We suspect they planned to use it on a dead planet 12 00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:29,232 to create a habitable environment 13 00:00:29,317 --> 00:00:30,416 they could call home. 14 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,825 The Merced is here 15 00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:33,857 To ensure the generation ship is preserved 16 00:00:33,942 --> 00:00:35,192 during transportation, 17 00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:37,778 and I want everyone to give them full support. 18 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,638 Captain Durango and I both served 19 00:00:39,723 --> 00:00:41,427 on the Illinois many years ago, 20 00:00:41,511 --> 00:00:43,090 and it is a true delight to be 21 00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:45,996 able to work with him again. 22 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,672 Trouble sleeping, Ensign? 23 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:49,918 No, I slept great. I mean, maybe too good, honestly. 24 00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:51,921 Just distribute the PADDs. 25 00:00:52,077 --> 00:00:54,049 Starfleet believes this alien vessel 26 00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:56,744 is equipped with unique terraforming technology: 27 00:00:56,829 --> 00:00:59,944 An elemental fluid which can transform inert matter 28 00:01:00,028 --> 00:01:01,738 into a living ecosystem. 29 00:01:01,823 --> 00:01:04,450 Towing it will be a delicate procedure. 30 00:01:04,534 --> 00:01:06,827 Even the slightest flux in tractor beam 31 00:01:06,911 --> 00:01:08,454 Stabilization could damage... 32 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:12,291 Oh. Oh, I am so sorry. I'm sorry. 33 00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:13,584 It is just so much information. 34 00:01:13,668 --> 00:01:15,294 I don't know how you guys aren't yawning. 35 00:01:15,378 --> 00:01:18,464 Your crew doesn't appear to appreciate the gravity 36 00:01:18,548 --> 00:01:19,840 of our undertaking, Captain. 37 00:01:19,924 --> 00:01:21,383 I assure you, Captain, 38 00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:23,302 my people are the best in the fleet. 39 00:01:23,386 --> 00:01:24,887 They're proficient, alert and... 40 00:01:24,971 --> 00:01:26,513 Mariner! 41 00:01:26,597 --> 00:01:28,557 I am trying to hold it in! 42 00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:53,070 "STAR TREK LOWER DECKS" Season 01 Episode 04 43 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,154 Episode Title : "Moist Vessel" 44 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:58,110 Aired on: AUGUST 27, 2020 45 00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:43,610 Ugh! 46 00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:45,141 I had to yawn, okay? I'm sorry. 47 00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:47,587 That guy is super boring. Like, "Oh, I'm boring. 48 00:02:47,672 --> 00:02:50,613 I love museums and dust and old gates." 49 00:02:50,697 --> 00:02:53,116 I know he's boring. He's been boring for 15 years! 50 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,410 But right now, he's telling everyone on the Merced 51 00:02:55,494 --> 00:02:57,704 That I don't have the respect of my crew. 52 00:02:57,788 --> 00:02:59,747 If you ever disrespect me like that again, 53 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,650 I'll skip the court-martial and blow you out the airlock. 54 00:03:02,735 --> 00:03:05,169 Cool. Well, live long and prosper. 55 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,297 Don't you give me that sarcastic Vulcan salute! 56 00:03:08,381 --> 00:03:09,594 Beckett! 57 00:03:11,055 --> 00:03:13,011 Captain, I have the sensor data that you requested. 58 00:03:13,095 --> 00:03:15,096 Huh? Oh, right. The sensors. 59 00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,974 Ugh. I'm sorry, Jack. It's just Ensign Mariner. 60 00:03:18,058 --> 00:03:20,699 Ugh. I feel like she stays up all night 61 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,824 Coming up with new ways to piss me off. 62 00:03:22,909 --> 00:03:25,161 I honestly don't know why you haven't kicked her off the ship. 63 00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:27,410 But since it's not my job 64 00:03:27,495 --> 00:03:28,667 to question your motives... 65 00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,011 If you want to avoid conflict, 66 00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,030 why not reassign her to all the worst jobs? 67 00:03:32,114 --> 00:03:34,991 That way, transferring would be her idea, not yours. 68 00:03:35,076 --> 00:03:36,411 Hmm. 69 00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:37,970 Well, we could reassign her 70 00:03:38,078 --> 00:03:40,371 to all the nastiest jobs on the ship. 71 00:03:40,455 --> 00:03:44,105 That way, transferring her would be her idea, not mine. 72 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,669 Brilliant plan. That's why you're the captain. 73 00:03:47,385 --> 00:03:48,808 Assignment time! 74 00:03:48,893 --> 00:03:50,206 Hatchi machi! 75 00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:53,009 I got conference room cleanup duty. In your face! 76 00:03:53,093 --> 00:03:54,785 Last time I checked, that was very lame. 77 00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:56,845 Why would you dance? That's not a danceable job. 78 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:58,681 That's where all the senior officer action happens! 79 00:03:58,765 --> 00:04:01,413 Plus, they have access to better replicator programs than we do, 80 00:04:01,498 --> 00:04:02,810 And sometimes they let you eat with them! 81 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:03,895 It's, like, basically the same food. 82 00:04:03,979 --> 00:04:05,108 No, it's not! 83 00:04:05,193 --> 00:04:06,960 They get, like, gnocchi and fritters and... 84 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:08,483 doesn't matter. It's good, okay? 85 00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,026 Oh, man. I got to monitor 86 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,897 power fluctuations in the tractor beam? 87 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,654 I wanted to monitor power fluctuations 88 00:04:13,738 --> 00:04:15,131 in the impulse relays. 89 00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:17,074 Rutherford! I'm about to go watch an ascension. 90 00:04:17,159 --> 00:04:19,327 What? That's amazing! What's an ascension? 91 00:04:19,411 --> 00:04:20,554 Some people who master the art 92 00:04:20,638 --> 00:04:22,662 of alien meditation can achieve inner peace. 93 00:04:22,747 --> 00:04:24,367 Then they transcend the physical realm 94 00:04:24,452 --> 00:04:26,584 and become a being of pure energy. 95 00:04:26,668 --> 00:04:29,410 - Isn't that cool? - Oh, like a Q or a the Traveler? 96 00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:31,839 No! It's more like studying so much for a test 97 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,591 that you literally become the test. 98 00:04:33,675 --> 00:04:35,968 You become everything! 99 00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:37,053 Damn, that is cool. 100 00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:39,514 I can't believe I actually get to see it in person! 101 00:04:39,598 --> 00:04:40,890 I wonder if it's gonna make a sound 102 00:04:40,974 --> 00:04:43,142 like "vrr" or "hmm" or "whoo." 103 00:04:43,226 --> 00:04:45,895 I guess I'll know soon! 104 00:04:45,979 --> 00:04:49,023 Anyway, let's see what I got assigned. 105 00:04:49,107 --> 00:04:51,859 "Turbolift lubing, holodeck waste removal 106 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,028 and scraping carbon off the carbon filter"? 107 00:04:54,112 --> 00:04:56,447 Ooh. Those are the worst jobs on the ship. 108 00:04:56,531 --> 00:04:58,574 Scraping carbon off of slightly harder carbon? 109 00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:00,201 That's Klingon prison stuff. 110 00:05:00,285 --> 00:05:01,869 This is weird. 111 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,376 Wow. 112 00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:09,877 Wow. 113 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,254 Oh. 114 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,092 As I grow closer to decorporation, 115 00:05:16,176 --> 00:05:18,594 words start to lose meaning. 116 00:05:20,305 --> 00:05:21,764 Hey, are-are we supposed to join in? 117 00:05:21,848 --> 00:05:24,267 Hmm... 118 00:05:24,351 --> 00:05:26,435 A tzutchian gong?! 119 00:05:30,523 --> 00:05:31,899 - Oh. - What's happening? 120 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:32,942 - Is he ascending? - I think he's ascending. 121 00:05:33,026 --> 00:05:35,236 - He's ascending. - Really?! No, no, no, no! 122 00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,741 - Aah! - My sand mandala! 123 00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:42,910 - No, no, no, no! - I can fix it! I can fix it! 124 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,413 I've been laying that for two years! 125 00:05:45,497 --> 00:05:48,249 It was a physical representation of my inner calm! 126 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:49,584 No, no, it's gonna... It's gonna be totally fine. 127 00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:50,918 Just keep ascending! Computer, 128 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,421 colorful sand, room temperature. 129 00:05:53,505 --> 00:05:55,631 Well, uh... there. 130 00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:57,300 See? It's-it's... it's all good. 131 00:05:57,384 --> 00:06:00,595 We're good. We're good. It's fine. Uh... 132 00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:01,929 If I had known I was going 133 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,389 to be emptying the holodeck biofilters, 134 00:06:03,473 --> 00:06:04,640 I wouldn't have had so much for breakfast. 135 00:06:04,724 --> 00:06:06,267 Welp, have fun with your terrible jobs. 136 00:06:06,351 --> 00:06:07,602 I got to go clean the executive conference room 137 00:06:07,686 --> 00:06:09,645 and eat some lobster ravioli. Peace. 138 00:06:09,729 --> 00:06:11,480 Uh, no. Uh-uh. Sorry. 139 00:06:11,564 --> 00:06:13,941 It does not look cool when you do it. 140 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,152 Damn it, it does. 141 00:06:25,912 --> 00:06:27,664 Ugh. 142 00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:32,501 Computer, emergency stop turbolift nine! 143 00:06:34,671 --> 00:06:36,130 Ugh! Hey, I'm working up here! 144 00:06:36,214 --> 00:06:37,506 Sorry. 145 00:06:45,432 --> 00:06:48,517 Oh, this is the worst! Oh, wait a minute. 146 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,186 Hey, buddy, do you want to make this interesting? 147 00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:52,563 How? Like, bet on who can finish their piece first? 148 00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:54,232 - Yeah. - All right, sure. Why not? 149 00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:55,524 Yeah, I'll get in on that. 150 00:06:58,111 --> 00:07:02,740 All right! Hell yeah! 151 00:07:02,824 --> 00:07:06,619 Syncing tractor beams in three, two, one. 152 00:07:11,666 --> 00:07:13,584 Whoa. I was wrong. These fluctuations are great. 153 00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:15,795 Aw, man, look at these amplitudes! 154 00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,677 Hi. Um, I just... I feel terrible about the... you know. 155 00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:24,929 Don't worry about it. Don't talk to me. 156 00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:28,015 Anyway, I went and found a Hiverian metronome, 157 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,475 and apparently, if you just relax 158 00:07:29,559 --> 00:07:31,185 and let it sync to your biorhythm, 159 00:07:31,269 --> 00:07:34,021 we can get you back on track and ascending by this afternoon! 160 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:37,024 You think I can realign a decade of spiritual enlightenment 161 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,526 by this afternoon?! 162 00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:40,027 Tomorrow morning at the latest. 163 00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,445 You just have to find your calm. Ah! 164 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,447 I... don't... want... 165 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,909 your... help! 166 00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:51,205 Has Mariner submitted her transfer request? 167 00:07:51,289 --> 00:07:53,541 I'm going to frame it. 168 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,251 She's... having a great time. 169 00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:56,877 - What?! - She's finding little ways 170 00:07:56,961 --> 00:07:59,672 to inject joy into otherwise horrible tasks. 171 00:07:59,756 --> 00:08:01,215 Then give her worse jobs. 172 00:08:01,299 --> 00:08:02,717 I've got her emptying 173 00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:04,469 out of the holodeck's filter! 174 00:08:06,331 --> 00:08:08,128 Ugh. People really use it for that? 175 00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:09,644 Oh, yeah, it's mostly that. 176 00:08:09,729 --> 00:08:11,934 Oh, if she finds a way to enjoy that, 177 00:08:12,018 --> 00:08:14,261 then what the hell are we gonna do to get her to resign? 178 00:08:14,346 --> 00:08:15,823 I don't know, but there has to be 179 00:08:15,908 --> 00:08:17,827 something on this ship she hates. 180 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,831 Hmm... 181 00:08:22,028 --> 00:08:26,241 Ensign Mariner, report to Conference Room Five. 182 00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:34,415 Whoa-hoa, another conference room meeting? 183 00:08:34,499 --> 00:08:37,043 Shocker. You guys debating the Prime Directive again? 184 00:08:37,127 --> 00:08:39,128 Pretty fascinating stuff. 185 00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:41,088 What is...? 186 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,298 No, no. No laughing. 187 00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:43,507 I was making fun of you, not with you. 188 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,801 Well, since you're one of us now, 189 00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:48,323 I guess you're making fun of yourself. 190 00:08:48,464 --> 00:08:49,457 What? 191 00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:52,141 - No. - Ensign Beckett Mariner, 192 00:08:52,225 --> 00:08:55,311 - No, no, no, no. - I am pleased to grant you a promotion. 193 00:08:55,395 --> 00:08:56,520 No! 194 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,606 Congratulations, Lieutenant Mariner. 195 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,191 Lieutenant? 196 00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:02,026 Lieu... Lieu... Lieutenant? 197 00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:03,778 Looking forward to serving with you 198 00:09:03,862 --> 00:09:06,489 for a long, long time. 199 00:09:06,573 --> 00:09:08,949 Good job, Mariner. Well earned, well earned. 200 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,119 This is real! This is real! 201 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,330 Wow! Thanks. I'm gonna take off. 202 00:09:14,414 --> 00:09:17,792 Oh, right after this very important meeting. 203 00:09:17,876 --> 00:09:19,835 All right, meeting's started. 204 00:09:19,919 --> 00:09:22,171 We need to choose new conference room chairs. 205 00:09:22,255 --> 00:09:24,673 A beige chair with a leather strip right down the middle. 206 00:09:24,757 --> 00:09:27,051 Hey! We all agree that a strip of leather 207 00:09:27,135 --> 00:09:28,552 is too ostentatious. 208 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,554 We did not all agree. 209 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,681 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to the barstools? 210 00:09:32,765 --> 00:09:33,766 Barstools hurt my back. 211 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,476 You're not sitting on them right. 212 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,441 Not sitting on them right? 213 00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:38,425 I've killed better men for less. 214 00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:41,323 - No, you haven't. - Well, I've threatened to kill better men 215 00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:44,080 - for about the same. - Strap in. This will take a while. 216 00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:45,583 Barstools are cool! 217 00:09:47,447 --> 00:09:48,864 Lieutenant Mariner, 218 00:09:48,948 --> 00:09:50,548 report to command prep for mission audit. 219 00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:54,662 It's a monumental find, Captain. 220 00:09:54,746 --> 00:09:56,664 Starfleet Command ought to just start engraving my name 221 00:09:56,748 --> 00:09:58,317 on a plaque right now. 222 00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:00,736 Oh, and yours, too, Durango, of course. 223 00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:01,913 There. I'm done. 224 00:10:01,998 --> 00:10:04,434 Great work, Lieutenant. Now you get to audit the audit. 225 00:10:06,007 --> 00:10:08,175 Lieutenant Mariner, report to the officers' lounge 226 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,344 - for management training. - No... 227 00:10:12,847 --> 00:10:14,974 ♪ Oh, za-beeba-dodden, doo-bah-dum-dow, yeah! ♪ 228 00:10:15,058 --> 00:10:17,560 And that's why being a captain is a lot like vocal jazz... 229 00:10:17,644 --> 00:10:19,520 It's all about the notes you don't scat. 230 00:10:19,604 --> 00:10:22,026 Oh, no. No. 231 00:10:22,111 --> 00:10:24,859 Now, here to teach us about promoting diverse perspectives, 232 00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:27,361 welcome Lieutenant Winger Bingston Jr. 233 00:10:27,445 --> 00:10:31,031 In his one-man show, The United Federation 234 00:10:31,115 --> 00:10:32,700 of Characters. 235 00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:35,077 Oh, hello. Didn't see you beam in there. 236 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,284 Lieutenant Mariner, report to executive poker. 237 00:10:40,369 --> 00:10:42,746 Oh... 238 00:10:42,831 --> 00:10:44,206 Look alive, Mariner. 239 00:10:44,318 --> 00:10:47,195 This game's about to get very interesting. 240 00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:48,716 Hmm. 241 00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,959 I... 242 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,817 ...fold. 243 00:10:58,476 --> 00:10:59,477 Fold. 244 00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:03,772 Hmm... 245 00:11:03,856 --> 00:11:05,065 She folds! You all fold! 246 00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:06,942 Every time you all fold! You fold! 247 00:11:07,026 --> 00:11:08,309 Don't tell me what to do! 248 00:11:08,394 --> 00:11:09,504 I'm gonna fold. 249 00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:11,777 I'm all in! Woops. I got nothin'. 250 00:11:11,862 --> 00:11:12,904 Guess I lose. 251 00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,129 Are you out of your mind?! 252 00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:15,340 We don't go all in! 253 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,842 It's a friendly game! 254 00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:20,623 Oh-ho-ho... No. 255 00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:23,417 Here I am, trying to help the guy ascend, 256 00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:25,419 and he won't even give me a chance! 257 00:11:25,503 --> 00:11:27,572 I want to help him so bad it hurts! 258 00:11:27,657 --> 00:11:29,757 Geez, I get that you want to see an ascension happen, but, 259 00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:31,467 - like, isn't this a bit much? - No! 260 00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:33,260 It's not enough! I owe it to O'Connor. 261 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,763 I'm just gonna have to study the ancient ways twice as much, 262 00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:37,806 just frickin' blow 'em away with spirituality. 263 00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,062 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I don't think it works like that. 264 00:11:39,146 --> 00:11:40,734 Yeah? Well, it's gonna have to. Wish me luck! 265 00:11:40,818 --> 00:11:42,514 - And you can finish my lunch. - It's okay. 266 00:11:42,599 --> 00:11:45,810 I don't need another lunch. Oh! Pudding! 267 00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:48,648 - You get your own quarters? - Yeah. It's the worst. 268 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,168 I'm so far away from everyone. 269 00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,713 What did you do? How did you... how did you get this? 270 00:11:52,798 --> 00:11:55,131 - Same thing I usually do. - But-but I go above and beyond, 271 00:11:55,216 --> 00:11:56,881 and you don't even try. Why would they...? 272 00:11:56,975 --> 00:11:58,893 I don't get it, either, man. Bad is good. I don't know. 273 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:00,353 Lieutenant Mariner, report to ops 274 00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:01,811 for review of scheduled ops. 275 00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:04,398 Oh, great! Ops! 276 00:12:04,483 --> 00:12:06,234 Pray for me. 277 00:12:06,319 --> 00:12:07,820 So... 278 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:11,614 they like when you break rules, huh? 279 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,741 Utique, saeculorum 280 00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:15,366 lapsu... 281 00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:18,245 - Don't you have work? - Oh, I'm using my vacation days. 282 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,081 So, I realized, if you mix and match prayers 283 00:12:20,165 --> 00:12:21,280 from different cultures, 284 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,825 you can increase your chance of ascending. 285 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,501 We can beat the system! 286 00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:26,754 Please! Just get away from me! 287 00:12:26,838 --> 00:12:29,090 These florkas are a vital part 288 00:12:29,174 --> 00:12:31,551 of the ascension process for the Tamarians. 289 00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:33,094 Stop it! Don't come near me anymore. 290 00:12:33,178 --> 00:12:34,929 You don't get to be the hero here, 291 00:12:35,013 --> 00:12:37,598 because you are the villain. 292 00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:39,976 - Aah! - Just center yourself for five minutes! 293 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,729 Please. I'll align your chakra. 294 00:12:42,813 --> 00:12:44,439 - I'll Reiki you. - No! 295 00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:46,287 Got to figure out a way to be bad. 296 00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:48,374 Get a promotion. Got to be bad, Boimler, got to be bad. 297 00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:50,062 Ensign Boimler, report to bridge duty 298 00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:53,757 - at 1530. - Oh, I'll report to bridge duty, 299 00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:56,406 and they'll get exactly what they deserve! 300 00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:58,077 - What? - Uh... Oh, nothing. 301 00:12:58,161 --> 00:13:00,455 That was a holodeck. Uh, Moriarty. 302 00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,123 Exactly what they deserve. 303 00:13:02,207 --> 00:13:03,914 Mariner. Heh. 304 00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:05,702 Care to share a status update? 305 00:13:05,787 --> 00:13:08,206 I don't know. We're towing a rusted old ship full of mummies? 306 00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:10,474 If you don't feel like you fit in here, 307 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,895 I could find you a post on another ship. 308 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,314 Mm, no, thanks. 309 00:13:14,436 --> 00:13:16,229 Don't forget, all senior officers 310 00:13:16,313 --> 00:13:18,492 are meeting up later for Ransom's birthday. 311 00:13:18,577 --> 00:13:20,024 It's mandatory. 312 00:13:20,108 --> 00:13:23,069 He's going to sing and play acoustic guitar... 313 00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:24,737 for hours. 314 00:13:24,821 --> 00:13:27,990 And the songs, oh-ho, well, he wrote them! 315 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,994 They're all about the month he lived in Barcelona. 316 00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:33,871 You know, I get what you're trying to do here, 317 00:13:33,955 --> 00:13:36,832 - and it is sick. - I'm doing exactly what I need to. 318 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,376 It's called being a captain. 319 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,169 No, it's called being a dick! 320 00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,155 Are we reading any vibrations in the hull? 321 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,138 No, sir. The transport is going smoothly. 322 00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:53,117 All readings are nominal. 323 00:13:53,202 --> 00:13:55,184 Move us closer to the generation ship. 324 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:58,187 Sir, I-I believe the Cerritos is in a better position to... 325 00:13:58,271 --> 00:13:59,897 We're in charge of this mission, Lieutenant. 326 00:13:59,981 --> 00:14:01,440 Our positioning should reflect that. 327 00:14:01,524 --> 00:14:03,318 - Take us in. - Yes, sir. 328 00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:10,783 You know, there's no peninsula more sensual 329 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:13,411 - than the... Iberian. - Commander. 330 00:14:13,495 --> 00:14:15,746 The Merced is maneuvering awfully close to our tow sector. 331 00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,248 What? Put them on-screen. 332 00:14:17,332 --> 00:14:20,045 Captain Durango, you are way out of formation. 333 00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:22,835 I don't have to explain myself to you, Commander. 334 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,387 The protection of this artifact is my duty. Mine! 335 00:14:43,903 --> 00:14:45,912 - Durango! - Sir, I'm reading 336 00:14:45,997 --> 00:14:47,720 a highly carbonized particle cloud erupting 337 00:14:47,805 --> 00:14:49,968 - from the generation ship. - Terraforming emulsion 338 00:14:50,053 --> 00:14:52,491 has engulfed our hull! It's transfor... 339 00:14:52,576 --> 00:14:54,786 It's being funneled towards us on the tractor beam! 340 00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:57,116 - Evasive maneuver alpha! - It's too late! 341 00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:06,047 Captain, 342 00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:07,423 we have a serious problem here. 343 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,920 Terraforming fluid is dissolving the hull. 344 00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:12,164 - Structural integrity is in serious jeopardy of breaking... - Here's your coffee, sir. 345 00:15:12,248 --> 00:15:14,386 - Woops. - Aah! Are you out of your mind?! 346 00:15:14,471 --> 00:15:16,430 Environmental irregularities detected. 347 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,559 Emergency force field, Corridor 89! 348 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:22,938 Whoa, did you feel that? 349 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,607 Humidity's up. The pressure just dropped. 350 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,817 - I think the air's being modified. - Not on my watch. 351 00:15:26,901 --> 00:15:29,612 This is your watch, right now. It is literally happening now. 352 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,280 Oh, can you not, even for a moment... 353 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,032 Look out! 354 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:48,411 Unauthorized terraformation. 355 00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,247 Whoa! 356 00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:56,213 Ah! 357 00:15:56,298 --> 00:15:58,258 - What's happening? - I don't know! 358 00:15:59,351 --> 00:16:00,393 No! 359 00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:02,729 Damn this gorgeous coral! 360 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,749 Well, this is just great! 361 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,460 I could have been one with the universe right now. 362 00:16:07,544 --> 00:16:09,087 This is all your fault! 363 00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:11,256 You know what? I'm glad you didn't ascend, 364 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,133 - 'cause you're a jerk! - Yeah, right. 365 00:16:13,217 --> 00:16:14,759 You've been obsessed with ascending me. 366 00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,469 I don't care about you ascending. 367 00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:18,638 All I really wanted was for you to like me! 368 00:16:18,722 --> 00:16:20,140 Wait. Wh-What? 369 00:16:20,224 --> 00:16:22,434 It kills me when someone doesn't like me. 370 00:16:22,518 --> 00:16:24,436 I can't sleep. It's all I think about. It feels 371 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,812 like ants in my brain. 372 00:16:25,896 --> 00:16:27,480 - Yeah. No, I get that. - Oh, please. 373 00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:29,775 You haven't had a negative thought for years. 374 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:40,160 Well, since we're gonna die here, I'll just tell you. 375 00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:41,786 I was never going to ascend. 376 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,050 I was faking. 377 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:46,151 - What? Why? - It's hard to stand out in Starfleet. 378 00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:48,627 This gave me an edge. It was my thing. 379 00:16:48,711 --> 00:16:50,337 I was the ascension guy. 380 00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:52,505 But then, I was going for so long not ascending 381 00:16:52,589 --> 00:16:55,008 that I got worried that people would catch on, which is why 382 00:16:55,092 --> 00:16:56,301 I used you as cover. 383 00:16:56,385 --> 00:16:57,677 I'm a jerk. 384 00:16:57,761 --> 00:16:59,471 We're both jerks! 385 00:16:59,555 --> 00:17:01,473 We wanted to be liked, and lied about it. 386 00:17:01,557 --> 00:17:03,058 I think that means we're best friends! 387 00:17:03,142 --> 00:17:06,394 I'm about to die with my best friend! 388 00:17:08,105 --> 00:17:10,106 If we can get down to the environmental controls, 389 00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:12,205 - there might be a way to reverse this. - Uh... mm. 390 00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:14,205 Are you sure that's the best rock for this? 391 00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,386 What? Yes. No. Yes, it's fine. It's a rock. 392 00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:18,135 Look, I'm-I'm just saying, 393 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:19,917 I think you should use the shale over there. 394 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:22,420 Mom, it is the same thing. Just leave me alone. 395 00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:25,120 It's just maybe you'd want one with more of a point. 396 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:26,163 Oh, my God! Why do you 397 00:17:26,248 --> 00:17:28,208 have to second-guess every choice I make? 398 00:17:28,292 --> 00:17:30,034 ...suggestion to help you, Beckett. What-what 399 00:17:30,118 --> 00:17:31,025 - am I supposed to do? - Right? 400 00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:33,361 Just stand by and let you keep making a mistake? 401 00:17:33,446 --> 00:17:36,490 What I would prefer is if you would just let me do me. 402 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:38,925 There. See? 403 00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:40,220 The rock was fine. 404 00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:42,485 Yeah, well, we could have gotten here faster. 405 00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:45,995 - You're going a little fast, don't you think? - Yup. 406 00:17:46,079 --> 00:17:47,839 - I thought you wanted fast. - Not that fast. 407 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,562 Are you trying to get us killed here? 408 00:17:49,646 --> 00:17:52,607 Make sure you're gripping with both hands. 409 00:17:52,691 --> 00:17:54,943 You know, okay, okay, you know what? 410 00:17:55,027 --> 00:17:56,236 - Maybe I should just lead. - Oh, my God! 411 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,071 Will you just stop?! 412 00:17:58,155 --> 00:18:00,365 I am good at this. Just trust me! 413 00:18:00,449 --> 00:18:02,200 - Well, I'm just looking out for you. - Yeah. 414 00:18:02,284 --> 00:18:04,869 That's the whole problem, Mom. You treat me like a child. 415 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:07,289 Well, if you would stop acting like a child 416 00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,249 and more like a mature crew member, 417 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:10,583 then I would treat you accordingly. 418 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,210 Oh, you think I'm immature? 419 00:18:12,294 --> 00:18:14,129 You're the one trying to trick me into quitting. 420 00:18:14,213 --> 00:18:15,791 How is that mature? 421 00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:18,170 Yeah, that's what I thought, Carol. 422 00:18:18,255 --> 00:18:20,047 You did not just call me "Carol." 423 00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,758 Whatever, Carol. 424 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,895 Oh, no, this is it! 425 00:18:47,329 --> 00:18:49,832 Ah. 426 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,959 No! 427 00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:55,003 Aah! No! 428 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,465 Get out of here! 429 00:18:58,549 --> 00:19:01,009 I'll be okay. You need to save yourself. 430 00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:02,635 No way. I'm not leaving you! 431 00:19:02,719 --> 00:19:04,512 Tendi, it's okay. 432 00:19:04,596 --> 00:19:06,306 I did this for you. 433 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,809 No! 434 00:19:10,185 --> 00:19:12,604 Yes! The systems are still on line. 435 00:19:12,688 --> 00:19:15,482 Affected areas are saturated with carbon polymer dust. 436 00:19:15,566 --> 00:19:18,151 We need Parizene gas. Flood the ship, then trigger a reversion 437 00:19:18,235 --> 00:19:20,153 with radiation from the main deflector. 438 00:19:20,237 --> 00:19:22,489 Unless you think we should use a pointier rock. 439 00:19:22,573 --> 00:19:25,992 No, that's... exactly what I was going to suggest. 440 00:19:26,076 --> 00:19:27,452 I'm just impressed. 441 00:19:27,536 --> 00:19:29,454 You read my mission brief, didn't you? 442 00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:31,623 No. I... No. Well, I mean, maybe a little, 443 00:19:31,707 --> 00:19:34,000 but just ironically, just so I could make fun of it. 444 00:19:34,084 --> 00:19:36,378 Uh-huh. Okay. Computer, hit it. 445 00:19:36,462 --> 00:19:37,796 Hitting it. 446 00:19:48,557 --> 00:19:50,725 Oh, my gosh. We're gonna be okay! 447 00:19:50,809 --> 00:19:52,977 Holy. I was so ready to die. 448 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,479 You saved my life. 449 00:19:54,563 --> 00:19:55,980 You saved mine first. 450 00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:01,194 Oh, no. What's happening?! 451 00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:03,029 Oh, my gosh, you're ascending! 452 00:20:03,113 --> 00:20:04,512 I am? I am! 453 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,903 - Oh. Ah! - It must have been when you saved me! 454 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,700 When you were willing to sacrifice yourself for me! 455 00:20:07,784 --> 00:20:09,327 I pretended to be finding myself 456 00:20:09,411 --> 00:20:11,597 for so long, I guess I actually did! 457 00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:13,363 I... Ow. Ooh, okay. Wow. 458 00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:14,874 Oh, that actually burns. 459 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,302 Uh, is this supposed to be happening? 460 00:20:16,386 --> 00:20:18,333 - Uh-oh. Okay, you're smoking. - It burns. 461 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,629 It burns! Aah! Help! 462 00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:21,131 Oh, I don't... I don't want to ascend! 463 00:20:21,215 --> 00:20:23,309 Drop and roll! 464 00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:25,208 Drop and roll! Drop back into the physical and roll. 465 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,053 - Drop back into the physical and roll! - Aah! 466 00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:28,513 Time has no meaning! 467 00:20:28,597 --> 00:20:29,889 Aah! No, it's happening! 468 00:20:29,973 --> 00:20:31,724 I'm everywhere and nowhere! 469 00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:33,893 I can see everything! 470 00:20:33,977 --> 00:20:36,354 I'm turning into pure energy! 471 00:20:36,438 --> 00:20:38,231 - Why is it taking so long?! - Aah! 472 00:20:38,315 --> 00:20:40,525 Aah! I see Abraham Lincoln! 473 00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:44,028 The universe is balanced on the back of a giant koala! 474 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:47,198 Why is he smiling? What does he know? 475 00:20:47,282 --> 00:20:50,452 The secret... of... life is... 476 00:20:55,165 --> 00:20:58,793 Uh, all right. Well, good luck being everything. 477 00:20:58,877 --> 00:21:00,712 Sorry I helped. 478 00:21:00,796 --> 00:21:02,881 - Ransom, report. - All systems stable, Captain. 479 00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:04,883 But the Merced... She had far greater exposure 480 00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,134 to the terraform cloud. 481 00:21:06,218 --> 00:21:08,136 Her life support's critical. 482 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,096 Oh, man. At-at this point, they need a whole new ship. 483 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:12,557 Or... a whole old one. 484 00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:14,976 Initiating emergency transport for all crew 485 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,770 of the Merced to the generation ship. 486 00:21:16,854 --> 00:21:18,313 Beam them into the stasis chamber. 487 00:21:18,397 --> 00:21:20,690 It's still sealed off and should be safe. 488 00:21:20,774 --> 00:21:22,275 Huh. Durango should be right at home 489 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,611 with some dusty old mummies. 490 00:21:33,287 --> 00:21:34,913 Oh, my gosh, we did it. We did it! 491 00:21:34,997 --> 00:21:36,999 All crew accounted for! 492 00:21:50,721 --> 00:21:52,847 Captain Freeman, Admiral Vassery is on his way. 493 00:21:52,931 --> 00:21:54,265 Very good. 494 00:21:54,349 --> 00:21:56,226 I'm really glad we found a way to work together. 495 00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:57,602 Yeah, you know, it's a nice change of pace. 496 00:21:57,686 --> 00:21:58,978 Going for each other's jugulars 497 00:21:59,062 --> 00:22:00,355 all the time is kind of exhausting. 498 00:22:00,439 --> 00:22:03,483 - I'm proud of you. - Oh. Thanks, Mom. 499 00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:05,944 Maybe you are fit to be one of my senior officers. 500 00:22:06,028 --> 00:22:10,114 Your chair right next to mine, spending all our time together, 501 00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,283 an unstoppable mommy-daughter team! 502 00:22:14,036 --> 00:22:16,788 Admiral Vassery, welcome to the Cerritos. 503 00:22:16,872 --> 00:22:20,166 Starfleet commends your bravery and ingenuity. 504 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:22,961 Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work. 505 00:22:23,045 --> 00:22:24,629 Apparently, we've picked up a strange signal 506 00:22:24,713 --> 00:22:25,964 on our sense-oars. 507 00:22:26,048 --> 00:22:27,507 Quite all right, Admiral. 508 00:22:27,591 --> 00:22:29,300 And what did your sense-oars show? 509 00:22:29,384 --> 00:22:31,803 Well, nothing at first, but the long-range 510 00:22:31,887 --> 00:22:33,304 - sense-oars revealed... - Whoa. Whoa. 511 00:22:33,388 --> 00:22:35,139 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I am sorry. 512 00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,684 Are you trying to say the word "sensors," 'cause to me, 513 00:22:37,768 --> 00:22:39,644 you're saying "sense-oars." What is that? 514 00:22:39,728 --> 00:22:41,688 That's how it's said. "Sense-oars." 515 00:22:41,772 --> 00:22:44,816 - Everyone knows that. - Sense-oars. Sense-oars. 516 00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:46,150 Yes, that's right. It sounds right to me. 517 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:47,652 Me, too. I say it like that. 518 00:22:47,736 --> 00:22:49,320 What? No, you don't. This is nuts. 519 00:22:49,404 --> 00:22:50,822 Yo, she's making fun of you, dummy. 520 00:22:50,906 --> 00:22:52,323 She doesn't say "sense-oars." 521 00:22:52,407 --> 00:22:54,158 - Well, of course I do. - Stop it. 522 00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:56,035 Is this how your crew treats authority 523 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,162 when it's known I mispronounce things? 524 00:22:58,246 --> 00:22:59,706 Are you really making fawn of me? 525 00:22:59,790 --> 00:23:01,165 Admiral, no. 526 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:02,876 I thought we came to an understanding. 527 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,003 Uh, maybe you need to adjust your "sense-oars." 528 00:23:05,087 --> 00:23:06,421 Would you just stop? 529 00:23:06,505 --> 00:23:08,590 I have never been shown such disrespect and... 530 00:23:08,674 --> 00:23:11,050 Is she yawning?! 531 00:23:11,134 --> 00:23:12,885 You know, when O'Connor was screaming 532 00:23:12,969 --> 00:23:14,887 and turning into energy, it made me realize 533 00:23:14,971 --> 00:23:16,889 that life's too short to be hung up 534 00:23:16,973 --> 00:23:18,891 on whether everyone on the ship likes me. 535 00:23:18,975 --> 00:23:21,060 That's great, 'cause I'm sure there's at least a few 536 00:23:21,144 --> 00:23:22,520 who don't. 537 00:23:22,604 --> 00:23:24,731 And who cares? Not me. 538 00:23:24,815 --> 00:23:26,524 So, who are these few people? What did they say? 539 00:23:26,608 --> 00:23:28,234 Do they not like me? You know what? I don't care. 540 00:23:28,318 --> 00:23:29,819 But if someone said something, I feel like I should know. 541 00:23:29,903 --> 00:23:30,903 Who was it?! 542 00:23:30,987 --> 00:23:32,989 Where's your pip? 543 00:23:33,073 --> 00:23:35,074 Uh, I'm pretty good at getting demoted. 544 00:23:35,158 --> 00:23:36,576 In the last hour?! 545 00:23:36,660 --> 00:23:38,077 Uh, yeah. Apparently, the captain doesn't like 546 00:23:38,161 --> 00:23:39,746 looking stupid in front of an admiral, so... 547 00:23:39,830 --> 00:23:41,414 What I... But I-I can't. 548 00:23:41,498 --> 00:23:43,875 You-you had everything that I ever wanted in life, 549 00:23:43,959 --> 00:23:46,252 and you didn't even care! How are we even friends? 550 00:23:46,336 --> 00:23:49,213 Maybe because I still have the senior officer access card 551 00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:50,671 for the good replicator programs. 552 00:23:50,756 --> 00:23:53,674 Oh! I'm gonna get that macaroni and cheese with the breaded top!