1 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,970 Oh, God, Oh, God. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 2 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,473 This is bad. This is very bad. I'm not supposed to be here. 3 00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:17,308 I have a pottery class at 0900! 4 00:00:17,391 --> 00:00:19,352 Hey, just calm down. We don't know what this is. 5 00:00:19,435 --> 00:00:22,313 Are you kidding me?! Creepy stone walls, jagged metal bars. 6 00:00:22,396 --> 00:00:24,690 This has alien prison written all over it. 7 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:25,942 A prison? Nah. No way, man. 8 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:28,319 - This is a dungeon. - That's even worse! 9 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:31,114 Hello? Can someone give us some context in here, please? 10 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,908 A dungeon?! But we didn't do anything. Did we? 11 00:00:33,991 --> 00:00:35,159 Oh. 12 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,203 I've been replicating a lot of ice. 13 00:00:37,286 --> 00:00:38,430 Are we not supposed to do that? 14 00:00:38,454 --> 00:00:39,664 I really like ice. 15 00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:40,891 I saw the captain and the bridge crew 16 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,035 get taken into another room. 17 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,001 What if they were replicating ice, too?! 18 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,795 Guys, this is basically a resort 19 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,356 compared to what the Klingons do to you. 20 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,673 I'm sure it's not a big... 21 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,634 - Uh, hi? - Oh, man, 22 00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:15,758 they have all of our commanders suspended in a beam! 23 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:19,098 - They must be on trial. - For what? 24 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,478 Fellow Primes! 25 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:27,815 These Federation witnesses have been brought before you 26 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,442 to speak truth 27 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,318 about the senior officers 28 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:35,072 of the Federation starship Cerritos. 29 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,617 I-I didn't witness anything. Did you? 30 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:39,845 I don't know. What's the difference between witnessing 31 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:40,786 and just lookin' at something? 32 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:44,707 You will speak only into the Horn of Candor! 33 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,962 With this horn, one of our most sacred horns, 34 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,923 you must only speak the truth. 35 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,425 Happy to be here. 36 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,819 I-I don't even know what we're supposed 37 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,028 to be telling the truth about. 38 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,847 The first to give testimony will be 39 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,600 Ensign Beckett Mariner. 40 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,769 Ship logs state you were present on the bridge 41 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,772 when the Cerritos made contact with the Clicket ship Tweerk 42 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:12,109 on stardate 57818.4. 43 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,237 Uh, I was, but I don't know what you want me to... 44 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:17,656 Tell us of those wondrous events! 45 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:20,284 Okay. It started off as a usual day. 46 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,828 We were just hanging out. I mean, we were just doing work 47 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,330 in the repair bay. 48 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,957 Roga Danar? Are you nuts? 49 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,293 I said "Who's the all-time biggest badass?" 50 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,003 not "Who's a dude nobody's heard about?" 51 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,797 Uh, everyone knows Roga Danar. 52 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,007 - No, they don't. - He totally outsmarted Picard, 53 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,342 and he has amazing hair! 54 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,177 Well, what about Khan, right? 55 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,679 Khan was a genetically engineered supervillain! 56 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,473 Dude was a space seed. 57 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,201 Ooh, ooh, pause for a second. I want to talk about Khan 58 00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:46,185 and that thicc, thicc chest, but I got to pee. 59 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,580 Roga Danar. 60 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,582 Get the out of my face. 61 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,191 Guys, the ship's at red alert. 62 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,275 Uh, no, it isn't. 63 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,652 Yeah, that's impossible. 64 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,695 I messed with our speakers so they'd be extra loud 65 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,322 during a red alert. We'd know for sure. 66 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,492 You messed with the red alert speakers? 67 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,307 Uh, it's, like, red alert everywhere except here! 68 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,374 - Rutherford! - Aw, man. 69 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,501 Oh, we're gonna get in such big trouble for this. 70 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,824 We have to get to our stations! 71 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,381 Gah, why did we have to have bridge duty today? 72 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,775 We're gonna walk in and everyone's gonna be 73 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,759 - lookin' at us. - No, they won't. Just chill. 74 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,445 Okay, we'll just explain what happened and why we're late. 75 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,595 It'll-it'll be fine. 76 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:22,972 You want Rutherford fired? No. 77 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,449 Just follow my lead, all right? We'll fake it. 78 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,891 - Fake what?! - It! 79 00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,118 I'm not faking on the bridge. 80 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,142 That's insane! 81 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,454 The captain already knows what she wants you to do, 82 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,539 so just nod and agree with her, 83 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,403 or we'll all end up getting kicked off the ship 84 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,357 and then we'll have to live on Earth, 85 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,459 where there's nothing to do except drink wine 86 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,902 and hang out at vineyards and soul food restaurants! 87 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,240 Ugh, these guys are maniacs. 88 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,575 Captain, what happened? 89 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,077 They just randomly attacked me for thanking them. 90 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,330 This injustice will not stan. 91 00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:50,374 We gave you the map, and now you turn on us?! 92 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,960 Captain, this is all a misunderstanding. 93 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,463 I simply showed gratitude for your map of the Neutral Zone. 94 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,257 Gratitude?! How dare you! 95 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,484 - Who is this guy? - Who cares, man? 96 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,593 Bug alien. Roll with it. 97 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,094 I meant no offense. 98 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,138 I think your people have a different definition 99 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,139 of "gratitude." 100 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,266 Give us back the map! 101 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,643 Ugh, this guy is really buggin'! 102 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,807 Mariner, what do you think? 103 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,063 I think you know exactly how to handle this, Captain. 104 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,565 You're right about that. 105 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,734 Ensign Boimler, I want options. 106 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,736 Uh, about the... this alien guy? 107 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,112 Yes. Obviously. 108 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,656 Uh, what specifically do you wish to know? 109 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:23,782 Aw, come on, man! 110 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:26,160 This is your chance to prove you got what it takes! 111 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,346 Oh! Well, I-I don't know, uh, who, uh... 112 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,288 Well, the truth is... 113 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,789 Uh, I think we should do, 114 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:33,292 uh, what you want to do, Cap'n. 115 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,293 Cap'n's choice. 116 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,629 I'm not asking you to kiss my ass. 117 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,339 Come on. No wrong answers. 118 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,591 Uh, okay. We could do evasive maneuver 119 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,592 eighty... 120 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,510 eight...? 121 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,304 Is he ing serious? 122 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,263 That was the wrong answer! 123 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,265 - I meant 84. - In this situation? 124 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,934 - Are you crazy? - Mariner! 125 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,369 Have you not been paying attention? 126 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,311 That could get us killed. 127 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,146 No, no, no, no. I was kidding. 128 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:57,483 Let's just... Let's use the impulse drive to... Crazy Ivan. 129 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,920 - Ugh! Who the hell is he talking about? - What in the world is that?! 130 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:01,862 - What? -That's insane. - But-but-but-but... 131 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,781 Son, you're embarrassing yourself. 132 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,033 You got a lot to learn. Mariner, 133 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,661 why don't you send our friends a message. 134 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,579 Good call, Captain. 135 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,768 - What?! -Are you insane?! - What the hell are you doing?! 136 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,686 You said "Send them a message." That means phasers! 137 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,730 It means to send them a message to invite them to dinner! 138 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:19,880 No, it doesn't! 139 00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,633 Target their bridge! 140 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,010 Stop! Stop! 141 00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:26,345 What are you talking about?! 142 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,781 What? I'm just telling you what happened. 143 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,265 You expect me to believe a Starfleet officer 144 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,476 wouldn't know what's going on with their ship 145 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,019 at all times?! 146 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,021 Look, I'm not proud of it, but yeah. 147 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,398 What about the map? 148 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,691 Tell me about the map! 149 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:39,774 Uh, there was a map? 150 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,694 That's the most important part! 151 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,737 Dude, look, I work on a spaceship, all right? 152 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:46,699 We don't have maps. We have stellar cartography. 153 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,367 What is wrong with you?! 154 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,369 Place her in the Tank of Contempt! 155 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,041 Oh! We got eels. There's eels over here. 156 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:57,405 Mariner's not lying! I was there! 157 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,544 We didn't see a map! 158 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,299 Perhaps this is a misunderstanding. 159 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,260 You may go un-eeled. 160 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,219 For now. 161 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,888 Better luck next time, eels. 162 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:12,409 Why does this guy care so much about a map of the Neutral Zone? 163 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,851 Yeah, it's so neutral. 164 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,787 Yeah, like, what would you even do with a map like that? 165 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,396 I have no idea. 166 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,565 Ensign Samanthan Rutherford, 167 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,275 perhaps you can illuminate me more 168 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,402 than your unobservant compatriots. 169 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,362 Um, well, I mean, my cyborg implant 170 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,156 does give me perfect memory. 171 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,574 That will be of great use! 172 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:34,288 Tell me of stardate 57791.1. 173 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:37,166 All right. Stardate 5779, eh... Hey. 174 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,685 Wait, are you sure you want that one? 175 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,587 Just 'cause I have so many great stardates in here. 176 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,255 Other than that one. 177 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,757 I want the one I said! 178 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,426 Uh, you're not gonna like it. 179 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,427 So, there I was, 180 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,220 rotating the EPS capacitors. 181 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,784 See, they overheat when you leave them 182 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,047 facing one direction too long. 183 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,271 Hey, sirs! You want to rotate with me? 184 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,522 Maybe sing a little song? 185 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,666 If you heard the one earlier... 186 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,651 No! Does your implant have Romulan flight manuals 187 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,337 - and repair information? - Uh, not right now. 188 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,280 - I'd need to update it. - Then do it. Now! 189 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,116 Uh, well, usually I like to update it while I'm asleep 190 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,785 'cause it kind of messes with my... 191 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,788 - No! Do it now! - You do it right this second! 192 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,082 Okeydokey. 193 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,750 30 seconds until restart. 194 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,752 - Is it done yet?! - What? No. It just started. 195 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,354 While we wait, I'll fill you in on the plan. 196 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,178 Oh, uh, first off: do you have all your shots? 197 00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,549 - Wait. Which shots? Like, with needles? - Ten seconds. 198 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,259 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Let me just... 199 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,362 We don't want you getting Dinobulan flesh-eating bacteria 200 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,364 - on your pe... - Hold up just a second. My implant is also... 201 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,492 - It'll eat right through your underpants. - My what?! 202 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,142 I've seen it happen. Terrible way to die. 203 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:38,745 - Restarting Rutherford. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 204 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,730 Wait, wait, wait. 205 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,026 Whoa. I think I blacked out 206 00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,278 and lost a little bit of time during that update. 207 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,989 Great work nerve-pinching those Vulcans, baby bear. 208 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,950 Who knew you'd be better at it than they are? 209 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,035 - I did? But I don't know how to nerve-pinch. - Ha! 210 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:57,162 Tell that to Spock and Spock. 211 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,431 Oh, when my implant was rebooting, 212 00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,873 it must have taken control. 213 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,000 We're entering the atmosphere. Brace for turbulence. 214 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,895 Sirs, you don't understand. I don't know what's going on. 215 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,672 When we're in the museum, our window's gonna be really tight. 216 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,841 - Museum? - We have to deploy now! 217 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,176 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 218 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,390 Verifying update. System will restart in three seconds. 219 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,857 - Ah! Romulan Bird-of-Prey? - Quiet! 220 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,486 We don't want to draw any attention. 221 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,156 - From who? What are we doing? What's happening? - Hey! 222 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,532 What are you two doing back here? 223 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,992 You've drawn my attention. 224 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,493 Distract him with the fan dance! 225 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,829 I'm sorry. My what now? 226 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,374 - Dance, boy! Dance! - Ooh. Ooh. Yeah. 227 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,001 Feels good, feels right... 228 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,545 Hey! Stop that! Now you're distracting me! 229 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,840 Right. Right. 230 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,717 I want the regular fan dance! 231 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,885 What are you doing?! 232 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,511 My best. 233 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,680 Verifying download. 234 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,100 Aah! What the heck?! 235 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:04,062 Hello? How am I standing in space? 236 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:07,608 Huh? 237 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,319 Ah. 238 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,905 Cloaked Bird-of-Prey. Wait. Did I steal this?! 239 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,699 - Aah, Mark Twain's got a gun! - Billups! Oh, man, are you okay? 240 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,202 - Tasha, no! The garbage bag's behind you! - Oh, no. 241 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,078 Sir, you have nitrogen intoxication. 242 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:21,622 You only have 60 seconds of air left! 243 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:27,085 Stop goofing around! Get in here! 244 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,009 Verifying update. System restart in ten second. 245 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,384 Watch it! No, no, no, over there! 246 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,554 Stupid... cloaked Bird. 247 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,891 - Updating Klingon fonts. - What?! 248 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,368 Why do I even need that? 249 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,894 Watch out for the controls! 250 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,104 They're set to... 251 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,781 Gorn wedding! 252 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,327 Aah! Get me out of here, implant! 253 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,579 Nice try, Gorns! 254 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,294 It's still the Gorn wedding? 255 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,256 Ouch. Help! Help! Come on, Gorns, please! 256 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,590 A Gorn wedding?! 257 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,634 How has this become about a Gorn wedding?! 258 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,261 What are you avoiding? 259 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,696 Look, I'm just telling you the events 260 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,806 of stardate 57791.1, all right? 261 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,599 Damn. Rude. 262 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:25,811 I want details on how you stole the Bird-of-Prey! 263 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,104 I know, man. Me, too! 264 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,814 Wait. Why would Shaxs make him steal 265 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,275 some old Bird-of-Prey? What would they even do with that? 266 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,194 Beats me. I mean, it could be for anything. 267 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:36,029 Like, who even knows? 268 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,532 Take him! 269 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,284 Eels?! 270 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,727 Dude, are you not paying attention? 271 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,870 - Hey! Leave them alone! - Oh? 272 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,706 Well, perhaps you, Ensign D'vana Tendi, 273 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:49,835 can prove more illuminating. 274 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,134 Oh, I've always wanted to testify about stuff! 275 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,677 This is so cool! 276 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,137 Hi, everyone! 277 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,596 Don't talk to them! 278 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,182 Have you and Commander Jack Ransom 279 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,852 ever set foot in the Romulan Neutral Zone? 280 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,562 I can't tell you that. 281 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,064 Oh, come on! This is an easy one! 282 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:13,817 Why are you making this so difficult? 283 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,278 ...Tendi, just tell him what he wants! 284 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,697 All right, fine! But this was a classified mission, 285 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,657 so I'll have to leave some things out. 286 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,161 I had just been given a major assignment. 287 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,038 Mariner! Mariner, guess what? 288 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,706 I get to tidy the conference rooms! 289 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,374 Ah! What should I wear? 290 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,168 Probably just my uniform, right? 291 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,211 Ugh! How are you so excited? 292 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,547 You know you're just gonna be wiping cat fur off chairs. 293 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:36,733 Uh, do you know how many big decisions happen 294 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:37,924 in those conference rooms? 295 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,277 That's where they talk about the Borg. 296 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,741 You can talk about the Borg anywhere. 297 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,055 Yeah, but when you do it in a conference room, 298 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,974 it becomes a conference. 299 00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:49,227 I never get to clean the conference room. 300 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,565 Wow. 301 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,275 The captain's chair. 302 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,652 Oh, I'm gonna make you extra clean. Huh? 303 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,446 Secure the room, Lieutenant. 304 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,615 - Yes, sir. - Okay, stop. 305 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,992 You can't omit details like that! 306 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,536 Yeah, but I already did, so... 307 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,538 Are you so stubborn 308 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:11,291 that you're willing to risk death by eels? 309 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,085 Yes, that's correct. 310 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,712 Then continue. 311 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,256 You must be The Cleaner. 312 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,425 Yes, sirree. And happy to be here. 313 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,761 Glad to have you. This mission is highly classified. 314 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,262 From here on out, you're 315 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,139 - and. - Wow. 316 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,784 All right, everybody, listen up. I'm serious. 317 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,434 This is important. If we're captured... 318 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,436 He's glad to have me! 319 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,606 Gosh, it's just so nice to be recognized for my work. 320 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,317 And cleaning the conference room is important. I knew it. 321 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:38,985 Wait, I should be paying attention. 322 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:41,154 This is why we got matching tattoos. 323 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,739 - 10-4. - Lock and load. 324 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,574 We're for life. 325 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,138 Check out this map. It's gonna lead us 326 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,620 - straight into the Neutral Z... - ...one. 327 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,122 The Neutral what, now? 328 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,516 The package is located here. 329 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,126 Guards are stationed here and here on weekends. 330 00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:56,962 If we run into trouble, Cleaner will extract us. 331 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,964 Let's this up! 332 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,801 Yeah... 333 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,846 Phaser rifles. 334 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,140 Oh, snap! That's the ship from my stor! 335 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,034 I knew I should have made it clear 336 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,369 that I wasn't supposed to be there, 337 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,478 but every time I was about to... 338 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,814 So, here is a very funny thing. 339 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:19,484 Um, I think that there was a misunderstanding, 340 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,279 - and I... - Everyone quiet! They're scanning the area. 341 00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,492 - Ah... - That was close. 342 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,220 We're lucky we have this Bird-of-Prey, or we'd be toast. 343 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,537 Uh, but what I was saying was... 344 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,456 Shh! They're scanning again. 345 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,626 They stopped scanning. Cleaner, what was that? 346 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,880 - What I was saying was... - Oh, no, they're scanning! 347 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,715 Okay, now they're not scanning anymore. 348 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,443 - Anything important... Whoa! - What I was... 349 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,135 Stop! I'm picking up scannin! 350 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,012 Okay, they're done scanning. Oh, God! 351 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,472 They're scanning again! 352 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,639 No, no. That was on me. 353 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,808 That was wrong. No, I wasn't! 354 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,484 Uh, so, a-about me being "the cleaner..." 355 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,570 Yeah, yeah. At your age, it's very impressive. 356 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,575 Comm silence from here on out. 357 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,705 Whoa. 358 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,708 - You know who I hate? Remans. - Oh, they're the worst. 359 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:17,935 Sorry. 360 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,505 Apologizing to the enemy? 361 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,381 - That's cold, Cleaner. - You're playing 362 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,009 some real up mind games. 363 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,518 - Stay here, cover our six. - Six what? 364 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,810 Copy. 365 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,400 Is that the package? 366 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:45,028 Cleaner, do your thing! 367 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,071 What's my thing? I have a thing? What's my thing?! 368 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,955 Whoa, I thought she was just supposed to beam us 369 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,706 - out of here. - She was. 370 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,668 I do not know what's going on here. This is crazy. 371 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,254 Congrats, boys. 372 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,214 The package is safely on board, 373 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,424 and there's no indication that the Rom... 374 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,802 ...ulan high council detected us. 375 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,262 Yeah! 376 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,933 Too bad we have to deny this ever happened, 377 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,935 because you were awesome. 378 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,480 You, 379 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,482 you're crazy. 380 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,448 This is where Billups sits. 381 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:31,449 Stop! 382 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,159 You expect me to believe that? 383 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,120 Yes, that is where Billups sits. 384 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,622 You did not do martial arts 385 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:39,583 on multiple armed guards! 386 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,460 You're right. I didn't. 387 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:45,505 I tried to be reasonable. 388 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:46,965 I tried to get to the truth. 389 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,968 Today didn't have to end in eels! 390 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,971 Ignite the burners! 391 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,766 Oh! 392 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,020 Why would you have burners and eels? It's redundant! 393 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:08,320 Just tell me about the package. What was inside the package? 394 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,072 I don't know, but whatever it was, I'm sure it was great. 395 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,909 I think you're hurting the eels! 396 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:18,038 This can all be over if you just tell me 397 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,664 what your bridge crew did! 398 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,041 We can't tell you. 399 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:22,834 Why? Why? 400 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,169 Because we don't know! 401 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,670 We never know anything! 402 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,507 We're lower decks. 403 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:31,509 No one ever tells us what's going on. 404 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,719 We're not important enough 405 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,304 to have anything to lie to you about. 406 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,848 You're Starfleet. Surely you must be briefed 407 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,016 on every contingency. 408 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,976 Yeah, I wish. The senior officers 409 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,860 don't always have time to keep us up to speed. 410 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,522 Hell, sometimes, they don't even know what's going on. 411 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,316 Impossible! 412 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,942 Human lies! 413 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:51,738 You are the best of the best! 414 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,531 Your senior officers 415 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,326 are always in full control! 416 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,204 No, they're not. They mess up all the time. 417 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,040 Like whenever Q shows up. 418 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,792 Voilà! 419 00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,837 - Oh, what? - Damn you, Q! 420 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:11,841 Good luck solving my little puzzle, mes amis. 421 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:15,553 Tell me, now, can you prove that humanity is worth saving? 422 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,264 I think not. 423 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,352 Well, he clearly wants us 424 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,104 to play something. 425 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,398 Ah! It's soccer. Okay. 426 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,733 - Oh! - What's humanity all about? 427 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,694 It's puzzle time. It's puzzle time. 428 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:34,364 - Ugh. Any ideas? Anybody? - Oh! 429 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,074 Or half of Ransom's alien dates 430 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,575 that he doesn't do any research for. 431 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,078 You are so funny, Mary Anne. 432 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,372 How about we keep this party going in my quarters? 433 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,916 Hey. Hey, Jack. FYI, you're hitting on a salt vampire. 434 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,519 Yeah, right. Nice try. 435 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,753 Salt vampires died out more than a century ago. 436 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,089 - All right. Cool, be safe. - Come on, Mary Anne. 437 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,257 Let's get out of here. 438 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,635 I'll give you the tour of casa de Ransom. 439 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,762 Salt vampire! 440 00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,889 - You're making this up. - Nuh-uh. 441 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,159 I read all their logs. They'e stepping in it all the time. 442 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,060 Captain. Captain! 443 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,812 Someone is replacing everyone on the ship 444 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,939 with imposters who claim not to know me. 445 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,733 We might be in a parallel dimension. 446 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,484 - And you are? - Uh... 447 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:13,820 Wait, is this... is this not the Cerritos? 448 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,115 This is the Alhambra. Did you get on the wrong ship? 449 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,118 They all look the same! 450 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,787 Who the hell was that? 451 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,622 Why are you doing this to me? 452 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,124 I need you to tell me 453 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,127 that your senior officers are infallible heroes. 454 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,713 Well, they're not. And that's okay. 455 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,131 We all joined Starfleet 456 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,133 to dive headfirst into the unknown. 457 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,134 We're explorers. 458 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,636 Of course we don't always know what's going on. 459 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,263 Did Picard know about the Borg? 460 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,308 Did Kirk know about that giant Spock on Phylos? 461 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,810 Did Dr. Crusher know about that ghost in the lamp thing 462 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,371 from the Scottish planet that she hooked up with 463 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,813 that one time? That whole thing. 464 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,149 You clearly want us to say that the captain 465 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,484 and her crew messed up, 466 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,736 but we simply don't have the full story, 467 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,488 and that's the truth! 468 00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:59,365 Whatever they did, I guarantee you it was all for good. 469 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,826 You have shown no evidence that they're guilty of a crime. 470 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,661 In fact, I find you guilty 471 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,664 of trying to take them down with this sham of a trial! 472 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,041 Drumhead! 473 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,962 Wait, you think this is a trial? 474 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,714 Uh, yes? 475 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,066 - It's not? - Yeah, I mean, it's pretty trial-y. 476 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,509 Could someone bring up the lights? 477 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,472 This isn't a trial. 478 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,016 It's a party, for this brave crew 479 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,477 who rescued me from the Romulans. 480 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,686 What? 481 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,147 I was kidnapped by Romulans 482 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,900 and held for over a year until they saved me. 483 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:37,529 Imperium Magistrate Clar, you're safe now, aboard the Cerritos. 484 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,740 Thank you, Captain Freeman. Thank you. 485 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:44,160 You must come and celebrate with me on K'Tuevon Prime. 486 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,539 Your deeds and my victory will forever be etched 487 00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,834 - onto our great history stone. - Can't say no to a party. 488 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,211 Oh, great, guess I'll have to shave my. 489 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,546 Yeah, maybe you should. 490 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,049 What's that about? 491 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,009 I don't know, man. Something dumb. 492 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,722 This was supposed to be my special day. 493 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,283 No. No, no, no, no, no. This is a trial. 494 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,600 You said we were witnesses, 495 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,894 - you said we had to testify. - Are you stupid? 496 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,729 How could you think this was a trial? 497 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:15,233 Because you've got our bosses suspended in a scary-ass beam. 498 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,861 That is the beam of celebration! 499 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,238 It is an honor to be in this beam. 500 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,406 Shut up, Billups! 501 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,907 Hey, man, this is not on us. 502 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:25,910 I mean, all of that chanting, and the-the metal gavel? 503 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:27,745 This is, like, alien trial 101. 504 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,540 You raised us up on a platform into a creepy courtroom. 505 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,084 Creepy? This is one of our nicest event silos. 506 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,587 - I got married here! - Wh... Well, then, who's this judge? 507 00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:38,590 This guy's just been, like, scowling at us the whole time. 508 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,800 - I don't know him. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just here 509 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:42,886 to set up for a birthday later for my little girl. 510 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,221 - She's turning 100. - Aw. 511 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:47,932 Okay, all right, Clar, time's up. 512 00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:50,059 - Etchers down. - But-but... 513 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,936 we didn't even get to do any etching. 514 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:55,023 No, no, no, no. You only paid for 22 minutes. 515 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,441 Other people got to etch. 516 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:57,525 Oh, come on. 517 00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:59,819 But-but wh... Okay, what about, what about the eels? 518 00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:02,238 You held us in contempt, of eels. 519 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,907 All right, come on. That's enough. 520 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,176 - You dipped us in eels! - You ruined my party! 521 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,951 Those were eels you dipped us in! 522 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,995 - You did that! You did it! - You ruined my party! 523 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,584 Today you four almost got yourselves killed 524 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,294 at a thank-you dinner. 525 00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,087 But, the way you stood up for Starfleet 526 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,857 while you thought you were staring death in the face 527 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:21,799 deserves commendation. 528 00:22:21,883 --> 00:22:24,010 I guess. 529 00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,638 Going forward, we'll make an effort 530 00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,598 to keep the crew more informed. 531 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,643 The Cerritos will be synonymous with clarity. 532 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:33,811 Wait, so then what did Clar do to get captured 533 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:36,105 by the Romulans? I-I missed that part. 534 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,774 Well, it's-it's complicated. 535 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,943 Why did you let him hurt us with eels 536 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,986 if you knew it wasn't a trial? 537 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,322 We have to honor the local customs of alien governments. 538 00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:45,925 And can you tell me who was on that secret team 539 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,176 that infiltrated the Neutral Zone? 540 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,285 Uh, I'm not at liberty to... 541 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,180 And why couldn't you just ask the Vulcans to borrow 542 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,556 the Bird-of-Prey? And where did they get it? 543 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,290 And why was that a job for the Cerritos? 544 00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:55,893 Why couldn't it have just been a job for, like, the Enterprise, 545 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,561 - or... - Okay, you know what? It's classified. 546 00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,462 It's all classified. Dismissed! 547 00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:02,131 Hey, everybody, look, we got Captain Clarity over here. 548 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:03,466 I said dismissed! 549 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:07,428 Honestly, this is fine with me. Knowing things means more work. 550 00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:10,014 Well, I, for one, knew it was a party the whole time. 551 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:11,391 Yeah, right, dude. 552 00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,017 - I did. - Then why were you crying? 553 00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,019 I just... i-it was cold in there. 554 00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:17,355 I've got sensitive corneas. I told you. 555 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:21,067 I challenge you all to a duel. 556 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,318 Pick your weapons. 557 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:23,903 I pick the mind. 558 00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:24,779 Get out of here, Q! No. 559 00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:26,531 We are done with random stuff today. 560 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,616 We're not dealing with any of your Q bull. 561 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,034 Oh, s'il vous plaît, Mariner. 562 00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:31,995 I want to put humanity to the ultimate test. 563 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,389 Okay, I'm not French. No. 564 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,039 - Go find Picard. - Oh, Picard. 565 00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:37,458 He's no fun, he's always quoting Shakespeare, 566 00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:39,502 he's always making wine. 567 00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,508 Chirp.