1 00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:15,037 Thank you. 2 00:01:18,274 --> 00:01:20,508 Hello, and welcome to The Grand Tour, 3 00:01:20,509 --> 00:01:23,078 which this week comes to you from Nashville! 4 00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:24,747 - There it is. 5 00:01:27,016 --> 00:01:30,686 It was er... It's a city that was named after General Nash. 6 00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:33,121 Big war hero, kicked the British out. 7 00:01:33,122 --> 00:01:35,556 - He got er... 8 00:01:35,557 --> 00:01:39,261 You ended up with independence. And how's that working out for you? 9 00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:43,064 I only ask because we were looking the other day 10 00:01:43,065 --> 00:01:45,934 at the bestselling cars in America these days. 11 00:01:45,935 --> 00:01:47,969 This is the top five. 12 00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:51,272 There you go, that's independence... working well. 13 00:01:51,273 --> 00:01:54,375 Toyota, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Honda. 14 00:01:54,376 --> 00:01:56,978 So what is actually made in Detroit these days, then? 15 00:01:56,979 --> 00:02:02,317 Er... Well, mostly they just grow sustainable organic peace beans. 16 00:02:02,318 --> 00:02:05,721 - It's just women with armpit hair growing kale. 17 00:02:05,722 --> 00:02:07,155 That's all that's going on there... 18 00:02:07,156 --> 00:02:09,758 municipal farms for the community. 19 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:12,360 Now, the reason we've come to Nashville 20 00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:14,029 is very simple, in fact. 21 00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:16,131 It's because I've been to all 50 of the US states, 22 00:02:16,132 --> 00:02:17,799 but I'd never been here before. 23 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,467 And what a town! 24 00:02:19,468 --> 00:02:20,937 - Yeah. 25 00:02:22,972 --> 00:02:24,973 Love it. Who knew? 26 00:02:24,974 --> 00:02:27,042 - We are loving it. - Who knew? 27 00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,744 It is a great place, we're loving it, 28 00:02:28,745 --> 00:02:30,478 and the music is amazing. 29 00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:33,181 - Loving that... very much. - 30 00:02:33,182 --> 00:02:35,183 Well... What? 31 00:02:35,184 --> 00:02:37,018 - Not really. - Mate, you can't... 32 00:02:37,019 --> 00:02:39,187 This is known as Music City USA. 33 00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:41,656 - That's what it is. - But it isn't, is it? 34 00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:42,891 Because Detroit is. 35 00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:45,126 Oh, no. Listen... No. 36 00:02:45,127 --> 00:02:46,762 - It is. 37 00:02:46,763 --> 00:02:48,229 Motown... Motown 38 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:50,631 is just three minutes of jangly nonsense. 39 00:02:50,632 --> 00:02:52,633 - Oh, come on, Hammond! - It is! 40 00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:54,135 Hammond, it just isn't! 41 00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:55,536 You cannot possibly say that. 42 00:02:55,537 --> 00:02:56,772 Country and western music 43 00:02:56,773 --> 00:02:58,073 is designed to make you miserable. 44 00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:00,675 Motown is designed to make you happy. 45 00:03:00,676 --> 00:03:02,944 No, he's absolutely right. Motown is happier music. 46 00:03:02,945 --> 00:03:04,479 I mean, take something like 47 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,681 Martha Reeves "Dancing In The Streets", OK? 48 00:03:06,682 --> 00:03:08,283 Listen to how happy the words are. 49 00:03:08,284 --> 00:03:11,552 "Every guy, grab a girl, everywhere around the world." 50 00:03:11,553 --> 00:03:13,789 Isn't that what Donald was telling us to do? 51 00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:20,862 Well, he was, wasn't he? He did. He did. 52 00:03:20,863 --> 00:03:23,031 No, he said, "Every guy, grope a girl." 53 00:03:23,032 --> 00:03:24,800 - A very different thing. 54 00:03:24,801 --> 00:03:27,035 Detroit isn't just Motown. Bob Seger's from Detroit. 55 00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:28,837 It's just housewives' music. 56 00:03:28,838 --> 00:03:31,172 - Ted Nugent - Mad! 57 00:03:31,173 --> 00:03:33,541 - Iggy Pop. - Ridiculous. 58 00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:34,709 - Madonna. - Annoying. 59 00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:36,377 - Eminem. - Can't sing. 60 00:03:36,378 --> 00:03:38,313 - Alice Cooper. - Ridiculous again. 61 00:03:38,314 --> 00:03:40,148 - Half of The Eagles. - Which half? 62 00:03:40,149 --> 00:03:41,918 - Glenn Frey. - I don't like that half. 63 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:46,421 Nashville. Right, what's come out of here? Miley Cyrus. 64 00:03:46,422 --> 00:03:47,655 Brilliant! 65 00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:52,560 - You just said that out loud on television. - I did. 66 00:03:52,561 --> 00:03:54,562 And... And The Allman Brothers. 67 00:03:54,563 --> 00:03:56,631 - Never heard of them. 68 00:03:56,632 --> 00:03:58,033 You have. 69 00:03:58,034 --> 00:03:59,367 The Allman Brothers, 70 00:03:59,368 --> 00:04:01,169 they had that one hit, instrumental. 71 00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:02,971 - What was it called? MAN: Jessica. 72 00:04:02,972 --> 00:04:04,005 - Jennifer. 73 00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:05,273 Oh, I hated that. 74 00:04:05,274 --> 00:04:06,842 You never hear it any more, do you? 75 00:04:06,843 --> 00:04:07,943 No. Rubbish. 76 00:04:07,944 --> 00:04:09,277 Weirdest thing. 77 00:04:09,278 --> 00:04:10,678 Weirdest thing. 78 00:04:10,679 --> 00:04:11,847 - Oh, hello. - A message. 79 00:04:11,848 --> 00:04:13,114 Oh, sorry. 80 00:04:13,115 --> 00:04:14,715 This is a message from Mr Wilman. 81 00:04:14,716 --> 00:04:15,917 We've gone a bit off topic. 82 00:04:15,918 --> 00:04:17,418 He might be cross. We have a bit. 83 00:04:17,419 --> 00:04:19,520 There is a car thing here we ought to talk about. 84 00:04:19,521 --> 00:04:22,258 It's called coal rolling. Are you familiar with this? 85 00:04:23,225 --> 00:04:25,426 It has its origins in a sport 86 00:04:25,427 --> 00:04:28,229 where people go with their pickup trucks into a field 87 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,731 and see who can tow the heaviest thing. 88 00:04:30,732 --> 00:04:33,668 - Yep. Oh, yep. - We've got some footage here of it happening. 89 00:04:33,669 --> 00:04:36,571 Look at that! The man in a pickup truck towing a heavy thing. 90 00:04:36,572 --> 00:04:38,139 There you go. 91 00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:40,175 Things you will never hear said at that event: 92 00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:42,410 "Got to rush, lads. I'm late for a poetry reading." 93 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,713 That's truck number three... 94 00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:47,248 Bernie Sanders, everybody. 95 00:04:48,284 --> 00:04:49,951 Anyway, the thing is, they worked out 96 00:04:49,952 --> 00:04:51,452 they could pull more heavy things 97 00:04:51,453 --> 00:04:53,889 if they fiddled with the ECU on the diesel engines, 98 00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:56,091 because that would generate more power, 99 00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:58,126 and, as a by-product, more smoke, 100 00:04:58,127 --> 00:05:00,028 cos that's why it's called coal rolling. 101 00:05:00,029 --> 00:05:03,264 And now, various kids have started to do it out on the highway. 102 00:05:03,265 --> 00:05:05,233 What they do is go out on the street 103 00:05:05,234 --> 00:05:07,168 and then do it when they overtake a Toyota Prius. 104 00:05:07,169 --> 00:05:10,105 Look at this. Here we go. 105 00:05:10,106 --> 00:05:14,209 Oh, for God's sake! Really?! Oh, come on! 106 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,977 Really?! 107 00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:18,479 - Now, I... - That's just... 108 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,549 I just... I know, I know I shouldn't say this. 109 00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:23,651 But every time I overtake a Prius, 110 00:05:23,652 --> 00:05:26,254 I always think, "I could do this in fourth... 111 00:05:26,255 --> 00:05:28,023 "but I'm gonna use second instead 112 00:05:28,024 --> 00:05:29,991 to annoy them even more." 113 00:05:29,992 --> 00:05:32,593 You do know you are 56 years old? 114 00:05:32,594 --> 00:05:34,963 - Yeah, but I've got a mental age of nine. - Oh, yeah. 115 00:05:34,964 --> 00:05:37,465 - Shall we get on with the show? - Yeah, it's time. 116 00:05:37,466 --> 00:05:41,170 On with the show. In our car show this week... 117 00:05:42,939 --> 00:05:45,207 James runs over a sun lounger. 118 00:05:47,944 --> 00:05:49,311 Richard has a beer. 119 00:05:51,713 --> 00:05:53,514 And I go on a thing. 120 00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:56,651 Jesus! 121 00:05:56,652 --> 00:05:57,986 Anyway, before all that, 122 00:05:57,987 --> 00:05:59,454 we've been having a bit of a debate. 123 00:05:59,455 --> 00:06:02,657 You see, I say you don't need to buy a BMW M3 124 00:06:02,658 --> 00:06:07,728 because for £11,000 less you can have a Jaguar XE S, 125 00:06:07,729 --> 00:06:09,464 which is nicer to drive, 126 00:06:09,465 --> 00:06:11,866 more comfortable and just as fast. 127 00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:13,601 - It isn't just as fast. - Yes, it is. 128 00:06:13,602 --> 00:06:16,404 - No, it isn't. - They both do 155mph. 129 00:06:16,405 --> 00:06:20,175 Yes, because the BMW has been electronically limited to 155. 130 00:06:20,176 --> 00:06:21,876 The Jag is just... limited. 131 00:06:21,877 --> 00:06:23,744 - Sorry to interrupt. 132 00:06:23,745 --> 00:06:25,413 It's just that both my colleagues are wrong. 133 00:06:25,414 --> 00:06:28,283 Because if you want a small, fast saloon car, 134 00:06:28,284 --> 00:06:29,784 what you absolutely have to have... 135 00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:31,219 If you're gonna start going on 136 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:33,788 about that Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, 137 00:06:33,789 --> 00:06:37,325 I am gonna stab you in the eye with this pen. 138 00:06:37,326 --> 00:06:39,160 - No, he's... - A number of times. 139 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:41,762 He's right. Alfa Romeo have not made a decent car 140 00:06:41,763 --> 00:06:43,664 for 30 years. 141 00:06:43,665 --> 00:06:45,000 - Erm... - "Erm" nothing, 142 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:46,701 because we need to get back to the point. 143 00:06:46,702 --> 00:06:48,003 James and I have decided 144 00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:50,338 it was time to sort out this Jaguar-BMW debate 145 00:06:50,339 --> 00:06:53,675 with a proper old-school road test in Scotland. 146 00:07:04,086 --> 00:07:06,287 Hello, and welcome to Wales, 147 00:07:06,288 --> 00:07:09,424 where I've come with all of our film crews and this, 148 00:07:09,425 --> 00:07:16,098 the brand-new Alfa Romeo Giulia... Quadrifoglio. 149 00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:18,466 I think. 150 00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:19,834 Whatever. 151 00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:23,039 Let's get on now and see what's what. 152 00:07:27,776 --> 00:07:31,046 Now, for this to be a proper Alfa Romeo, 153 00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:34,882 there must be... something wrong with it. 154 00:07:34,883 --> 00:07:36,084 Think about it. 155 00:07:36,085 --> 00:07:38,053 A person who's kind to his mother 156 00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:42,657 and punctual and sober and well-dressed, he's an Audi. 157 00:07:42,658 --> 00:07:46,361 And nobody wants a friend like that. 158 00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:49,297 If you're going to form a relationship with a car, 159 00:07:49,298 --> 00:07:51,899 if you're gonna develop a bond, 160 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,069 it's got to have human qualities. 161 00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:56,237 And if it's gonna have human qualities, 162 00:07:56,238 --> 00:07:59,374 it's got to have faults. 163 00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:03,579 And this car, I'm delighted to say, has a big one. 164 00:08:06,648 --> 00:08:08,749 I don't know quite how they've managed this, 165 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,918 but it's not very easy to get out of. 166 00:08:10,919 --> 00:08:13,121 You've got this pillar here, then the wheel here, 167 00:08:13,122 --> 00:08:14,755 and there isn't enough of a... 168 00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:18,259 of a gap between the two. 169 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,761 Hang on a minute. Hang on. 170 00:08:21,163 --> 00:08:24,399 How Alfa Romeo is that? 171 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,102 They put the door in the wrong place. It should be... 172 00:08:27,103 --> 00:08:28,570 It should be further back. 173 00:08:29,671 --> 00:08:31,240 That is brilliant. 174 00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,310 There's more, too. 175 00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:37,545 It's not a particularly handsome car. 176 00:08:37,546 --> 00:08:39,280 The wheels are too small. 177 00:08:39,281 --> 00:08:40,715 And for some reason, 178 00:08:40,716 --> 00:08:42,817 they've chosen to make the front 179 00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:43,819 look like a Wolseley. 180 00:08:46,355 --> 00:08:48,956 Now, in the recent past... James is quite right... 181 00:08:48,957 --> 00:08:50,325 Alfas have had their faults 182 00:08:50,326 --> 00:08:52,527 and then no good bits to compensate. 183 00:08:52,528 --> 00:08:55,029 They've just been wrong-wheel-drive Fiats 184 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,431 with the word "Fiat" crossed out 185 00:08:56,432 --> 00:08:59,300 and "Alfa Romeo" written in in crayon. 186 00:08:59,301 --> 00:09:01,469 That, though... 187 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,439 ...that's a very different animal. 188 00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:40,341 This is a fabulous car, 189 00:09:40,342 --> 00:09:41,942 an epic car. 190 00:09:41,943 --> 00:09:44,044 Probably because it's the love child 191 00:09:44,045 --> 00:09:48,217 of the same man who engineered the Ferrari 458. 192 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:59,494 He's given it a carbon-fibre propshaft, 193 00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:01,796 a carbon-fibre roof, 194 00:10:01,797 --> 00:10:03,531 a carbon-fibre bonnet, 195 00:10:03,532 --> 00:10:06,100 a proper limited-slip differential, 196 00:10:06,101 --> 00:10:09,804 telepathic steering and a clever gearbox. 197 00:10:09,805 --> 00:10:12,540 But the most impressive bit of this car 198 00:10:12,541 --> 00:10:17,145 is its turbocharged 2.9L V6 engine. 199 00:10:18,847 --> 00:10:23,117 An engine that wobbles when you close the door. 200 00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,553 That is brilliant. Look at that. 201 00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:29,457 You don't get that sort of thing from an Audi, do you? 202 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,326 Ferrari, which, of course, 203 00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:33,294 is part of the same company as Alfa Romeo, 204 00:10:33,295 --> 00:10:35,162 is very keen to point out 205 00:10:35,163 --> 00:10:38,899 that this is not the engine they use in the California 206 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,801 with two cylinders removed. 207 00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:42,637 They say it's a complete coincidence 208 00:10:42,638 --> 00:10:46,173 that both engines have the same bore/stroke and V-angle. 209 00:10:46,174 --> 00:10:51,279 They're adamant that this is all Alfa Romeo's own work. 210 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,714 So, there we are. 211 00:10:54,316 --> 00:10:55,951 It is, then. 212 00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:02,257 And what work it is. 213 00:11:02,258 --> 00:11:07,027 You get 503 brake horsepower. 214 00:11:07,028 --> 00:11:12,268 That is 60 more than you get from a BMW M3. 60! 215 00:11:16,272 --> 00:11:18,506 It's 175 more 216 00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:20,074 than you get from that Jag 217 00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:22,677 that James would be droning on about now, 218 00:11:22,678 --> 00:11:26,314 had I not stepped in and saved the day. 219 00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:28,750 And then there's the way it revs. 220 00:11:33,855 --> 00:11:35,357 Ha! 221 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:42,096 Most turbocharged engines are a bit wheezy at the top end, 222 00:11:42,097 --> 00:11:45,566 but because the twin-scroll turbo in this 223 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:48,936 is mounted in the V of the engine... 224 00:11:48,937 --> 00:11:51,739 ...just like it is in a Ferrari California, 225 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,374 coincidentally, 226 00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:56,176 the rev counter is still a blur 227 00:11:56,177 --> 00:11:57,613 right up to the red zone. 228 00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:18,900 This engine is... 229 00:12:20,336 --> 00:12:22,236 ...it's a masterpiece. 230 00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:24,039 An absolute gem. 231 00:12:26,675 --> 00:12:29,610 So, while this may look like a Wolseley, 232 00:12:29,611 --> 00:12:31,613 it certainly doesn't go like one. 233 00:12:34,249 --> 00:12:39,921 It has a top speed, in fact, of 191mph. 234 00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:44,124 What this car is 235 00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:45,527 is a Ferrari... 236 00:12:46,628 --> 00:12:48,964 ...wearing four-door sensi-panties. 237 00:12:50,999 --> 00:12:56,136 And that brings me onto this car's party piece. 238 00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:59,974 At normal speeds, it's very quiet and very civilised. 239 00:12:59,975 --> 00:13:02,109 And even though it's running on wheels 240 00:13:02,110 --> 00:13:05,145 that appear to have come off the bottom of a sofa, 241 00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:06,414 it's very comfortable, 242 00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:08,383 even if you push this, 243 00:13:08,384 --> 00:13:10,652 you put it in bumpy-suspension mode. 244 00:13:12,788 --> 00:13:15,255 The only setting I haven't yet tried 245 00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:16,925 is this one... "race". 246 00:13:18,259 --> 00:13:19,860 But I think I should. 247 00:13:19,861 --> 00:13:21,028 Sadly, however, 248 00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:23,297 before I found somewhere to try it out, 249 00:13:23,298 --> 00:13:26,133 I received a telephone call. 250 00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:33,508 Oh, no. What? 251 00:13:33,509 --> 00:13:36,911 - Hammond. - Have you got our film crew somewhere? 252 00:13:36,912 --> 00:13:40,748 - Yes, I have. - Are you using them to film an Alfa? 253 00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:42,517 - Yes, I am. - Where are you? 254 00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:44,752 - Wales. - Wales?! 255 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,921 You can't just arrange that we go to Scotland 256 00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:48,556 and then disappear off to Wales. 257 00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:49,957 I didn't tell you to go to Scotland. 258 00:13:49,958 --> 00:13:52,427 You decided to go to Scotland on your own. 259 00:13:53,862 --> 00:13:55,430 We've come all the way to Scotland 260 00:13:55,431 --> 00:13:56,931 to do this with these two cars. 261 00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:59,867 This is the test. You trying to shoehorn... 262 00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:01,836 It's wonderful there are Alfa Romeos in the world. 263 00:14:01,837 --> 00:14:03,871 That's a lovely thing that we can all... 264 00:14:03,872 --> 00:14:05,440 It doesn't matter how good you think 265 00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:07,241 the Alfa Romeo is. This is a car programme. 266 00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:10,044 Concepts, dreams, imagining things. 267 00:14:10,045 --> 00:14:12,580 ...Scotland, with two cars that are credible, relevant, 268 00:14:12,581 --> 00:14:14,449 important, work and are real. 269 00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:16,951 They were still shouting at me as I arrived 270 00:14:16,952 --> 00:14:19,454 with all of the film crews at our track. 271 00:14:19,455 --> 00:14:21,221 ...itch, that you've managed to scratch 272 00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:22,457 over the last ten years. 273 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,991 I don't know how. Why... 274 00:14:23,992 --> 00:14:26,060 It's breaking up! 275 00:14:26,061 --> 00:14:28,129 Oh, I've lost you! 276 00:14:34,503 --> 00:14:36,505 Race mode. 277 00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:40,476 Here we go. 278 00:14:51,887 --> 00:14:55,022 In race mode, everything is in a tensed-up state: 279 00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:58,392 the throttle response, the gearbox, the steering. 280 00:14:58,393 --> 00:15:01,096 And the traction control is off! 281 00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,784 This has now been transformed 282 00:15:23,785 --> 00:15:26,186 from something that was brilliant... 283 00:15:26,187 --> 00:15:29,124 into something that is sensational. 284 00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:43,103 Of course, you'd never drive in race mode on the road, 285 00:15:43,104 --> 00:15:47,007 in the same way you'd never take your wristwatch into space. 286 00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:52,147 But it's nice to know that it would still work if you did. 287 00:15:53,281 --> 00:15:54,849 (CHUCKLES) And this does. 288 00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:56,685 Oh, boy, this does. 289 00:16:01,056 --> 00:16:04,692 I've always said you can't be a true petrolhead 290 00:16:04,693 --> 00:16:07,662 until you've owned an Alfa Romeo. 291 00:16:07,663 --> 00:16:09,429 And the trouble is, I've always known 292 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:10,865 there's no Alfa Romeo 293 00:16:10,866 --> 00:16:14,002 a true petrolhead would actually want to buy. 294 00:16:15,303 --> 00:16:16,571 There is now, though. 295 00:16:16,572 --> 00:16:18,674 Oh, there is now. 296 00:16:31,653 --> 00:16:35,122 And so I decided to do something I've never done 297 00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:38,726 with any car I've ever filmed in my entire life. 298 00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:40,828 I decided, when the test was over, 299 00:16:40,829 --> 00:16:43,198 to go to the nearest Alfa Romeo dealer... 300 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,867 ...and buy one. 301 00:17:08,356 --> 00:17:09,658 What? 302 00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:16,764 - What? - You total cock. 303 00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:18,365 You stole our film. 304 00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:19,867 Well, not really. 305 00:17:19,868 --> 00:17:22,136 You didn't actually buy one, did you? 306 00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:23,871 Well, no, cos I couldn't make my mind up 307 00:17:23,872 --> 00:17:25,305 between that and the 4C. 308 00:17:25,306 --> 00:17:27,341 It was like watching an ape return to its cage 309 00:17:27,342 --> 00:17:30,210 and finding there was an apple and a banana. 310 00:17:30,211 --> 00:17:32,647 "Oh, I like apple, but I like bananas. 311 00:17:32,648 --> 00:17:34,815 So do I want the apple or a banana?" 312 00:17:34,816 --> 00:17:36,183 You would have had both, obviously. 313 00:17:36,184 --> 00:17:37,718 Hammond, that car is brilliant, 314 00:17:37,719 --> 00:17:39,486 and it only costs £60,000. 315 00:17:39,487 --> 00:17:42,056 Yeah, but honestly, Jeremy, that doesn't mean anything. 316 00:17:42,057 --> 00:17:43,658 If Alfa Romeo launched a dog turd, 317 00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:44,792 you'd say it was brilliant. 318 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,560 It is! I'm not making it up! 319 00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:49,664 You heard it. You saw it. It's a fantastic car. 320 00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:51,098 Anyway, listen, we must find out 321 00:17:51,099 --> 00:17:55,970 how fast the Quadri-thingy goes round the Eboladrome. 322 00:17:55,971 --> 00:17:57,371 That, of course, means handing it over 323 00:17:57,372 --> 00:17:59,807 to a man who thinks that tennis is something 324 00:17:59,808 --> 00:18:02,209 that was invented by Stalin. 325 00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:04,311 He's actually a local boy this week, 326 00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,680 from the next state along. 327 00:18:05,681 --> 00:18:07,547 It's the American! 328 00:18:10,686 --> 00:18:11,819 There he is. 329 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,087 And even he will enjoy 330 00:18:13,088 --> 00:18:14,689 this magnificent machine, 331 00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,056 I'm sure of that. 332 00:18:16,057 --> 00:18:18,292 And he's off with a glorious bark 333 00:18:18,293 --> 00:18:21,428 and a pop from that sensational V6. 334 00:18:21,429 --> 00:18:22,596 Oh, it's wet! 335 00:18:22,597 --> 00:18:27,001 OK. Alfa Romeo Julie Quad Bike 336 00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:28,703 something or another. 337 00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:31,739 I can't say it, can't pronounce it. 338 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,008 I don't really like driving it. 339 00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:35,911 Oh, for God's sake! 340 00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:40,981 So, the tall one thinks this is a good car. 341 00:18:40,982 --> 00:18:44,318 I still think he was dropped on his head as a child. 342 00:18:44,319 --> 00:18:47,587 Yeah, but at least I don't wear a cowboy hat to weddings. 343 00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:51,325 Right, now, powering majestically into Your Name Here. 344 00:18:51,326 --> 00:18:54,261 This could be the single greatest lap we'll ever see. 345 00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:55,796 RICHARD: What are you on about? 346 00:18:55,797 --> 00:18:57,031 It's beautifully balanced, 347 00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:58,365 hard on the power. 348 00:18:58,366 --> 00:19:00,167 A bit of a wobble there! Some oversteer, 349 00:19:00,168 --> 00:19:01,501 but it was designed to do that. 350 00:19:01,502 --> 00:19:03,037 No, it wasn't! 351 00:19:03,038 --> 00:19:04,538 Stop saying things, Hammond. 352 00:19:04,539 --> 00:19:05,740 I'm busy. 353 00:19:05,741 --> 00:19:07,274 This is just a BMW 354 00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:09,443 for people who like fancy coffee. 355 00:19:09,444 --> 00:19:13,213 No, it's a BMW for people with taste and discernment. 356 00:19:13,214 --> 00:19:14,815 RICHARD: No, it's a BMW for idiots. 357 00:19:14,816 --> 00:19:16,116 Hammond, be quiet! 358 00:19:16,117 --> 00:19:17,617 Look at the way it's dealing 359 00:19:17,618 --> 00:19:19,453 with Old Lady's House. 360 00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,121 Almost no problems at all. 361 00:19:21,122 --> 00:19:22,757 Now he can really turn it up 362 00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:23,958 for the sprint to Substation. 363 00:19:23,959 --> 00:19:26,193 Such power! Such pedigree! 364 00:19:26,194 --> 00:19:28,796 Such bollocks. Just be quiet! 365 00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:30,530 Just two corners left. 366 00:19:30,531 --> 00:19:33,267 Glorious poise in the rain through there. 367 00:19:33,268 --> 00:19:34,468 Field Of Sheep. 368 00:19:34,469 --> 00:19:36,804 Another master class in suspension control. 369 00:19:36,805 --> 00:19:38,205 And across the line! 370 00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:43,010 - Well, come on, then. - Well, no... 371 00:19:43,011 --> 00:19:44,544 Come on. What did it do? 372 00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,346 - What? - Time. 373 00:19:46,347 --> 00:19:47,782 No, it was wet, 374 00:19:47,783 --> 00:19:49,583 so there's no point putting it on the board. 375 00:19:49,584 --> 00:19:51,218 It'll just wear the computer out 376 00:19:51,219 --> 00:19:53,020 - for no reason. - Get on with it! 377 00:19:53,021 --> 00:19:54,789 - We haven't got time! - Get on with it! 378 00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,390 I'm gonna do it. Let's look at the time. 379 00:19:56,391 --> 00:19:59,360 Time for Jeremy's Alfa Quadriplogio. 380 00:20:01,797 --> 00:20:03,663 That's not quick, mate! I'm sorry. 381 00:20:03,664 --> 00:20:04,999 That's rubbish! 382 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,234 In the dry, it would have done a 1:15. 383 00:20:07,235 --> 00:20:08,836 - No, it wouldn't. - Yes, it would. 384 00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,204 - No, it wouldn't. - It would! 385 00:20:10,205 --> 00:20:11,906 There's no point arguing anyway. 386 00:20:11,907 --> 00:20:13,740 He's got the Alfa Romeo thing out of his system, 387 00:20:13,741 --> 00:20:15,709 which is good, because it's time now 388 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:17,244 for us to enjoy a gentle stroll 389 00:20:17,245 --> 00:20:21,015 along the sunlit sidewalks of Conversation Street. 390 00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:32,092 - That's a good one. - I like that one. 391 00:20:32,093 --> 00:20:33,428 It is. Right, now... 392 00:20:35,831 --> 00:20:37,932 OK. And we start with this. 393 00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:40,067 It's the new Alfa Romeo Stelvio. 394 00:20:40,068 --> 00:20:43,237 - For God's sake! - This is important news. 395 00:20:43,238 --> 00:20:46,841 It's not important news. It's niche news for morons. 396 00:20:46,842 --> 00:20:48,976 It's not! It's a superb car, 397 00:20:48,977 --> 00:20:50,310 because you can have it 398 00:20:50,311 --> 00:20:52,179 with the same 500 horsepower engine 399 00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,048 that you get in the Quadriplegio. 400 00:20:54,049 --> 00:20:57,017 And with that... with that you get four-wheel-drive. 401 00:20:57,018 --> 00:20:59,353 So that one will work in the wet, will it? 402 00:20:59,354 --> 00:21:01,721 Hammond, when somebody has a baby, 403 00:21:01,722 --> 00:21:03,257 OK, do you go up to it and... 404 00:21:03,258 --> 00:21:04,925 "Oh, look at my new baby that I've... 405 00:21:04,926 --> 00:21:06,493 Eurgh! It's really ugly!" 406 00:21:06,494 --> 00:21:08,495 Well, only if it's ugly. 407 00:21:08,496 --> 00:21:11,866 You see, you can't be cruel about Alfa Romeos. 408 00:21:11,867 --> 00:21:13,367 - Yes, I can. - They're trying so hard! 409 00:21:13,368 --> 00:21:16,103 Well, let's just move it on. Forget the Alfa, then. 410 00:21:16,104 --> 00:21:18,572 Now, we should talk about where we are, 411 00:21:18,573 --> 00:21:22,742 OK, Tennessee, because this is the bestselling vehicle in the state. 412 00:21:22,743 --> 00:21:25,112 - OK. - 413 00:21:25,113 --> 00:21:27,681 Yeah, we've got a picture of the police car. 414 00:21:28,884 --> 00:21:30,617 And an ambulance. 415 00:21:30,618 --> 00:21:32,352 - And a hearse. - Yeah. 416 00:21:32,353 --> 00:21:35,422 I'm detecting... detecting a theme here. 417 00:21:35,423 --> 00:21:37,191 The pickup truck, I think I'm right, 418 00:21:37,192 --> 00:21:39,459 is very popular in this neck of the woods, yes? 419 00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:41,428 I'm sure you may be amazed to hear 420 00:21:41,429 --> 00:21:43,898 they really haven't caught on at all in the UK. 421 00:21:43,899 --> 00:21:45,532 I mean, almost nobody has one. 422 00:21:45,533 --> 00:21:47,201 You hardly see them, which is a shame, 423 00:21:47,202 --> 00:21:48,936 because I love a pickup truck. 424 00:21:48,937 --> 00:21:50,905 Yeah, we know. - I like a truck. 425 00:21:50,906 --> 00:21:52,206 - - You know? 426 00:21:52,207 --> 00:21:54,808 I can say that here. I can say that here. 427 00:21:54,809 --> 00:21:58,045 That's fine, you can say that, but they're not actually very sensible. 428 00:21:58,046 --> 00:21:59,413 Look, mate, that's not everything. 429 00:21:59,414 --> 00:22:01,315 Anyway, you drive around in your Ferrari, OK, 430 00:22:01,316 --> 00:22:03,550 and happily put up with the compromises that that imposes. 431 00:22:03,551 --> 00:22:05,785 So you put up with the cost, the inconvenience, 432 00:22:05,786 --> 00:22:08,322 and it's not very comfortable because it's a fast car. 433 00:22:08,323 --> 00:22:10,657 Same with a pickup. You put up with compromises: 434 00:22:10,658 --> 00:22:12,659 the weight, the size, the fuel consumption... 435 00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:13,961 But what's the upside? 436 00:22:13,962 --> 00:22:15,695 It's a pickup truck! You can use it... 437 00:22:15,696 --> 00:22:17,131 You can put logs in it 438 00:22:17,132 --> 00:22:19,934 and tow... tow trees out of the woods with it. 439 00:22:19,935 --> 00:22:21,501 You could put a bear in it. 440 00:22:21,502 --> 00:22:24,504 Hammond, you work... you work in the media! 441 00:22:24,505 --> 00:22:26,340 The only thing you have to put in the back of a vehicle 442 00:22:26,341 --> 00:22:28,842 are invitations to gala lunches. 443 00:22:28,843 --> 00:22:30,110 - Well... - That's all you ever do. 444 00:22:30,111 --> 00:22:31,645 The problem, actually, in Britain 445 00:22:31,646 --> 00:22:33,447 with a pickup truck... I'm sorry to admit this... 446 00:22:33,448 --> 00:22:36,383 is that if you pulled up at a set of traffic lights 447 00:22:36,384 --> 00:22:37,952 and you had your cement mixer 448 00:22:37,953 --> 00:22:39,386 and your chainsaw in the back, 449 00:22:39,387 --> 00:22:41,521 they would be stolen immediately. 450 00:22:41,522 --> 00:22:43,723 Anything left in the open in Britain, 451 00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:46,260 it's like nuts at a party, you just help yourself. 452 00:22:46,261 --> 00:22:48,462 - So why doesn't that happen here? 453 00:22:48,463 --> 00:22:50,464 Who's got a pickup truck here? 454 00:22:50,465 --> 00:22:52,832 - Holy cow! That's unbelievable. 455 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:55,235 When you go shopping and put things in the back, 456 00:22:55,236 --> 00:22:57,337 why doesn't someone just help themselves? 457 00:22:57,338 --> 00:22:59,073 Because they shoot them here. 458 00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:02,977 Well, there is that. 459 00:23:02,978 --> 00:23:07,414 There is that. Thank you, Donald! 460 00:23:07,415 --> 00:23:09,383 But why... Have you ever had anything stolen 461 00:23:09,384 --> 00:23:10,985 when you were at a red light? 462 00:23:10,986 --> 00:23:12,852 Never? Has anyone ever had anything...? 463 00:23:12,853 --> 00:23:14,554 - No. - No? 464 00:23:14,555 --> 00:23:16,023 I thought this was supposed to be 465 00:23:16,024 --> 00:23:17,891 crime-ridden in America. 466 00:23:17,892 --> 00:23:19,093 Maybe people are honest. 467 00:23:19,094 --> 00:23:20,527 I don't know, it's possible. 468 00:23:20,528 --> 00:23:21,561 If I was in Britain 469 00:23:21,562 --> 00:23:23,030 and saw a pickup truck with a lawnmower, 470 00:23:23,031 --> 00:23:24,332 "I'll have that." 471 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:29,003 Now, yesterday we went to erm... 472 00:23:29,004 --> 00:23:30,804 It was like a big classic-car museum, 473 00:23:30,805 --> 00:23:33,740 just out of town here, where you could also buy the exhibits. 474 00:23:33,741 --> 00:23:36,110 - It's great fun. - It was a fantastic day out. 475 00:23:36,111 --> 00:23:37,344 Really enjoyed ourselves in there. 476 00:23:37,345 --> 00:23:38,845 I mean, it was full of, you know, 477 00:23:38,846 --> 00:23:40,414 Mustangs and Camaros and stuff. 478 00:23:40,415 --> 00:23:42,216 Stuff like this. We've got a picture 479 00:23:42,217 --> 00:23:43,850 of this sort of thing... '60s and '70s stuff. 480 00:23:43,851 --> 00:23:47,421 Now, we know that cars like this are horrible to drive. 481 00:23:47,422 --> 00:23:48,422 Terrible. 482 00:23:48,423 --> 00:23:50,190 But they're tremendous to look at. 483 00:23:50,191 --> 00:23:53,893 There was so much joy in car design back then, 484 00:23:53,894 --> 00:23:55,695 and you see it in that car there. 485 00:23:55,696 --> 00:23:58,098 It actually made us slightly sad in a way, though, 486 00:23:58,099 --> 00:24:00,400 because as we were leaving, we suddenly started wondering, 487 00:24:00,401 --> 00:24:02,102 "Well, what are they gonna put in that museum 488 00:24:02,103 --> 00:24:03,770 in 40 years' time?" 489 00:24:03,771 --> 00:24:04,904 - Yeah. - What? 490 00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:06,073 The Nissan-bloody-Juke. 491 00:24:06,074 --> 00:24:07,374 - Exactly. 492 00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:09,109 I don't want to look at that now. 493 00:24:09,110 --> 00:24:11,611 - No, exactly. Or the Dodge Dart. 494 00:24:11,612 --> 00:24:14,448 Well, what child's gonna say, "Oh, Daddy! 495 00:24:14,449 --> 00:24:17,851 Daddy, let's go and look at the 40-year-old Dart in the museum"? 496 00:24:17,852 --> 00:24:19,319 Nobody is! 497 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,754 It's true that car design 498 00:24:20,755 --> 00:24:21,921 has become so dreary lately. 499 00:24:21,922 --> 00:24:23,323 And I think part of it, 500 00:24:23,324 --> 00:24:25,225 it's almost as if the people who design cars 501 00:24:25,226 --> 00:24:26,793 don't actually like cars that much. 502 00:24:26,794 --> 00:24:28,795 Exactly. But they did then. You can tell. 503 00:24:28,796 --> 00:24:31,531 There was a Cuda in there next to a Plymouth Fury, 504 00:24:31,532 --> 00:24:34,634 and I just stood for about an hour, just soaking them in. 505 00:24:34,635 --> 00:24:37,204 I saw a 1966 Cadillac. 506 00:24:37,205 --> 00:24:38,805 We've got a picture of it here. Look. 507 00:24:38,806 --> 00:24:40,340 Now, what I like about this 508 00:24:40,341 --> 00:24:42,176 is that the bloke who designed the bonnet, 509 00:24:42,177 --> 00:24:43,943 he thought, "I've finished with the bonnet. 510 00:24:43,944 --> 00:24:45,445 I'll do the grill." 511 00:24:45,446 --> 00:24:47,081 But he didn't tell the blokes doing the wings, 512 00:24:47,082 --> 00:24:49,483 and they kept going, so it goes like another foot. 513 00:24:49,484 --> 00:24:52,352 No, but this is fantastic with a fantastic-looking car. 514 00:24:52,353 --> 00:24:54,754 The Buick Riviera, they had one of those in there. 515 00:24:54,755 --> 00:24:56,190 - Look at that! - That is glorious! 516 00:24:56,191 --> 00:24:57,457 I had one of those 517 00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,159 as a toy when I was little. 518 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,827 If you put your finger over the back window, 519 00:25:00,828 --> 00:25:02,562 it flashed its lights. 520 00:25:02,563 --> 00:25:04,098 And you just look and you go, 521 00:25:04,099 --> 00:25:06,400 "How can Buick have gone from doing that 522 00:25:06,401 --> 00:25:08,335 "in, what, 30-40 years, to doing this, 523 00:25:08,336 --> 00:25:09,703 whatever this brown..." Look at... 524 00:25:09,704 --> 00:25:11,971 - How have they done that?! 525 00:25:11,972 --> 00:25:13,673 And it's the same as Chevrolet. 526 00:25:13,674 --> 00:25:15,909 There was an Impala in there, 1960. 527 00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:18,478 Look at that! That is exciting not moving! 528 00:25:18,479 --> 00:25:20,647 That's a Chevy Impala from the '60s. 529 00:25:20,648 --> 00:25:22,482 Let's have a look at one from today. 530 00:25:22,483 --> 00:25:24,118 - Oh, for God's sake! - (LAUGHTER) 531 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,386 How do they even have the nerve to call that an Impala? 532 00:25:26,387 --> 00:25:27,854 Because it isn't one. 533 00:25:27,855 --> 00:25:29,223 I was looking at a Corvette, 534 00:25:29,224 --> 00:25:30,424 a '70s Corvette. 535 00:25:30,425 --> 00:25:31,525 That's the C3 model, 536 00:25:31,526 --> 00:25:32,992 if you're a Corvette nerd. 537 00:25:32,993 --> 00:25:34,228 This was a car that was driven 538 00:25:34,229 --> 00:25:35,529 by all of the astronauts. 539 00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:38,132 - Exactly. - And Dirk Diggler. 540 00:25:38,133 --> 00:25:39,399 - Yep. 541 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,135 Ah, so it's a car 542 00:25:41,136 --> 00:25:43,303 for porn stars and astronauts. 543 00:25:43,304 --> 00:25:45,539 - What a strapline! - What car is there today 544 00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:47,441 that could be driven by porn stars and astronauts? 545 00:25:47,442 --> 00:25:49,643 - There isn't one. MAN: An Alfa! 546 00:25:49,644 --> 00:25:52,179 An Alfa?! 547 00:25:52,180 --> 00:25:54,381 Actually, he's right! 548 00:25:54,382 --> 00:25:57,217 No, astronauts have to get there. 549 00:25:57,218 --> 00:25:58,685 He's right! That's exactly 550 00:25:58,686 --> 00:26:00,887 - what the Quadriplegio is! - No! 551 00:26:00,888 --> 00:26:04,224 For porn stars and astronauts, which is what I am. 552 00:26:04,225 --> 00:26:05,592 Now, I would like to have 553 00:26:05,593 --> 00:26:08,828 a conversation about the Nürburgring. 554 00:26:08,829 --> 00:26:10,430 - Go on. - Because this is important. 555 00:26:10,431 --> 00:26:11,931 Last year, I was delighted. 556 00:26:11,932 --> 00:26:13,733 The people who run the Nürburgring in Germany, 557 00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:16,570 they said they were gonna ban car manufacturers 558 00:26:16,571 --> 00:26:18,572 from setting lap records there. 559 00:26:18,573 --> 00:26:21,375 Sorry, why were you delighted about that? 560 00:26:21,376 --> 00:26:22,676 Because that's an excellent idea. 561 00:26:22,677 --> 00:26:24,778 If you make a car that is excellent 562 00:26:24,779 --> 00:26:26,646 for doing a fast lap of the Nürburgring, 563 00:26:26,647 --> 00:26:29,449 it would be useless as a car everywhere else in your life. 564 00:26:29,450 --> 00:26:31,918 It's like... It's like setting your house up 565 00:26:31,919 --> 00:26:33,187 to play Laser Quest. 566 00:26:33,188 --> 00:26:35,522 It will be brilliant for playing Laser Quest, 567 00:26:35,523 --> 00:26:37,090 but it'll be rubbish for a dinner party 568 00:26:37,091 --> 00:26:38,425 because it's full of lasers, 569 00:26:38,426 --> 00:26:39,893 darkness, fog and music that goes... 570 00:26:40,961 --> 00:26:42,196 ...and people running around 571 00:26:42,197 --> 00:26:43,363 thinking that they're in Star Wars. 572 00:26:43,364 --> 00:26:44,698 Or you could get a dog... 573 00:26:44,699 --> 00:26:46,633 You could train a dog as an attack dog, 574 00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:49,203 which is fantastic if you own a scrapyard 575 00:26:49,204 --> 00:26:50,670 and you need the dog to guard it, 576 00:26:50,671 --> 00:26:53,540 but take it home as a pet, it will eat your children. 577 00:26:53,541 --> 00:26:54,974 - It's completely useless. 578 00:26:54,975 --> 00:26:56,576 That's what happens 579 00:26:56,577 --> 00:26:58,412 when you set a car up for the Nürburgring. 580 00:26:58,413 --> 00:27:00,113 This isn't really a conversation, James. 581 00:27:00,114 --> 00:27:02,749 No, I think we've accidentally turned down Rant Lane this week. 582 00:27:02,750 --> 00:27:04,218 - Well, there's more. 583 00:27:04,219 --> 00:27:05,385 - He's off again. - No, no. 584 00:27:05,386 --> 00:27:07,887 But the thing is, the bad news in all this 585 00:27:07,888 --> 00:27:09,223 is that they've decided 586 00:27:09,224 --> 00:27:11,090 that they will allow car manufacturers 587 00:27:11,091 --> 00:27:12,759 to set lap records again. 588 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,694 Well, that's good. 589 00:27:13,695 --> 00:27:15,329 - No, it's bad! - OK. 590 00:27:15,330 --> 00:27:16,730 Think of the cars that have come out recently 591 00:27:16,731 --> 00:27:18,532 that we've driven that have been developed 592 00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:20,334 so that they would go fast around the Nürburgring. 593 00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:22,236 BMW M4 GTS, 594 00:27:22,237 --> 00:27:24,271 you can't deny it, it's a terrible car. 595 00:27:24,272 --> 00:27:26,273 Nissan GT-R, the Track Edition, 596 00:27:26,274 --> 00:27:27,807 that is a terrible car. 597 00:27:27,808 --> 00:27:31,077 Even SEAT... the SEAT Leon Cupra 280, 598 00:27:31,078 --> 00:27:33,747 that's got a hatchback record for going around the Nürburgring, 599 00:27:33,748 --> 00:27:35,148 and it's rubbish! 600 00:27:35,149 --> 00:27:36,983 The Nürburgring ruins cars. 601 00:27:36,984 --> 00:27:38,985 I'm developing an app for the smart phone 602 00:27:38,986 --> 00:27:40,287 called Bomb The Nürburgring 603 00:27:40,288 --> 00:27:42,155 where you guide a Dornier 17 over it 604 00:27:42,156 --> 00:27:43,757 and blow it up. 605 00:27:43,758 --> 00:27:45,625 What are you doing on this programme? 606 00:27:45,626 --> 00:27:47,126 - Talking sense! 607 00:27:47,127 --> 00:27:48,928 Good question. I don't know. 608 00:27:48,929 --> 00:27:51,798 We have this old woman who has a baking show in Britain. 609 00:27:51,799 --> 00:27:53,300 She's called Mary Berry. 610 00:27:53,301 --> 00:27:55,101 It would be... You probably know her. 611 00:27:55,102 --> 00:27:56,470 It's probably the same 612 00:27:56,471 --> 00:27:58,472 as her saying, "I hate cakes!" 613 00:27:58,473 --> 00:27:59,639 - Yes. 614 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,140 Mary Berry would agree with me, 615 00:28:01,141 --> 00:28:02,509 because if she made a cake 616 00:28:02,510 --> 00:28:04,278 that had been developed on the Nürburgring, 617 00:28:04,279 --> 00:28:06,613 someone would put fried onions on the top 618 00:28:06,614 --> 00:28:08,848 and completely ruin it. You'd have a Victoria sponge 619 00:28:08,849 --> 00:28:11,385 with onion on the top for no reason! 620 00:28:11,386 --> 00:28:12,952 James, you know you're weird, don't you? 621 00:28:12,953 --> 00:28:14,854 That's not weird. That's the most sensible thing 622 00:28:14,855 --> 00:28:16,490 that's ever been said on this show. 623 00:28:16,491 --> 00:28:17,991 - You are weird. - I'm not weird. 624 00:28:17,992 --> 00:28:20,294 He is weird! We were coming through the airport 625 00:28:20,295 --> 00:28:21,695 here the other day, coming through Chicago, 626 00:28:21,696 --> 00:28:23,697 and he went, "Jeremy, smell my jacket." 627 00:28:23,698 --> 00:28:24,931 - He said what?! 628 00:28:24,932 --> 00:28:26,400 - Yeah. - He did. 629 00:28:26,401 --> 00:28:28,167 He said, "Smell my jacket." I said, "Why?" 630 00:28:28,168 --> 00:28:30,637 He said, "Because it smells of old record players." 631 00:28:30,638 --> 00:28:33,540 - Mate, that is weird. - But it did! 632 00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:35,875 You know record players don't smell of anything? 633 00:28:35,876 --> 00:28:37,311 They do. Old ones do. 634 00:28:37,312 --> 00:28:38,645 They smell of old record players. 635 00:28:38,646 --> 00:28:40,414 Who knows what they smell like? 636 00:28:40,415 --> 00:28:41,981 - I'd like us... - The decaying... 637 00:28:41,982 --> 00:28:43,317 I'd like us to move it on 638 00:28:43,318 --> 00:28:44,784 because it's getting scary now. 639 00:28:44,785 --> 00:28:46,320 That's not the record player! 640 00:28:46,321 --> 00:28:47,587 What are you on about? 641 00:28:47,588 --> 00:28:49,323 Does anybody have an old record player, 642 00:28:49,324 --> 00:28:50,590 or anything old electrical? 643 00:28:50,591 --> 00:28:51,891 They smell, don't they? 644 00:28:51,892 --> 00:28:53,593 Has anybody ever smelled an old record player? 645 00:28:53,594 --> 00:28:55,629 Really? You think you have? 646 00:28:55,630 --> 00:28:57,364 You've smelled an old... 647 00:28:57,365 --> 00:28:58,766 God, strewth! 648 00:29:00,901 --> 00:29:04,170 Did it have a wax cylinder on it, your old record player? 649 00:29:04,171 --> 00:29:06,540 They smell like old plastic and warm rubber. 650 00:29:06,541 --> 00:29:07,841 Yeah, exactly. 651 00:29:07,842 --> 00:29:10,745 That smells like a party at James's house. 652 00:29:12,447 --> 00:29:14,549 You're actually talking to Thomas Edison there. 653 00:29:17,585 --> 00:29:18,985 In person. 654 00:29:18,986 --> 00:29:20,387 Well done, sir. 655 00:29:20,388 --> 00:29:21,988 Now, as we're told 656 00:29:21,989 --> 00:29:24,691 almost every day these days, really, 657 00:29:24,692 --> 00:29:27,861 the world's coral reefs are all dying. 658 00:29:27,862 --> 00:29:30,730 And we're told that this is the fault of the car. 659 00:29:30,731 --> 00:29:32,966 Well, since we host a car show, 660 00:29:32,967 --> 00:29:35,769 we thought it would be our duty and responsibility 661 00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:37,638 to do something about it. 662 00:29:44,979 --> 00:29:49,015 Here in the Caribbean, all appears to be well. 663 00:29:49,016 --> 00:29:51,050 But under the shimmering blue sea, 664 00:29:51,051 --> 00:29:54,054 there's just miles and miles of sand. 665 00:29:55,823 --> 00:29:57,658 It's an underwater desert. 666 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:01,227 And even when you do find a reef, 667 00:30:01,228 --> 00:30:04,365 most of the coral is dead or dying. 668 00:30:08,369 --> 00:30:09,736 Thirty-eight years ago, 669 00:30:09,737 --> 00:30:11,671 the local government sank a ship 670 00:30:11,672 --> 00:30:14,509 to encourage the coral to come back. 671 00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:17,511 And it's working. 672 00:30:17,512 --> 00:30:20,014 It's already an oasis of life. 673 00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:25,985 And that gave us an idea. 674 00:30:25,986 --> 00:30:29,122 Why use a ship as the hub or your coral reef? 675 00:30:29,123 --> 00:30:32,191 Why not use cars? There are millions of them. 676 00:30:32,192 --> 00:30:34,794 So that's exactly what we've done. We've got five cars. 677 00:30:34,795 --> 00:30:36,730 And rather than go through all the expense 678 00:30:36,731 --> 00:30:38,632 and complication of recycling them, 679 00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:40,434 we've stripped them, taken the engines out, 680 00:30:40,435 --> 00:30:42,902 removed the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea. 681 00:30:42,903 --> 00:30:44,938 This really does make perfect sense, 682 00:30:44,939 --> 00:30:46,773 because when the car is in the water, 683 00:30:46,774 --> 00:30:48,074 it will start to corrode, 684 00:30:48,075 --> 00:30:49,476 and that attracts all the things 685 00:30:49,477 --> 00:30:50,910 that help the coral grow. 686 00:30:50,911 --> 00:30:53,146 And then the car itself just rusts away 687 00:30:53,147 --> 00:30:54,648 to absolutely nothing. 688 00:30:54,649 --> 00:30:56,416 So this one, which started life 689 00:30:56,417 --> 00:30:57,651 as a pretty horrible Peugeot 690 00:30:57,652 --> 00:30:58,952 and was always a terrible car, 691 00:30:58,953 --> 00:31:02,355 will eventually become a beautiful coral reef. 692 00:31:02,356 --> 00:31:04,491 And all this happens quite quickly. 693 00:31:04,492 --> 00:31:05,992 So in just a few years' time, 694 00:31:05,993 --> 00:31:08,628 the BBC will be able to make a wildlife documentary 695 00:31:08,629 --> 00:31:10,263 just in this wheel arch. 696 00:31:10,264 --> 00:31:11,498 Anyway, we've got the cars. 697 00:31:11,499 --> 00:31:12,666 I've got a crane. 698 00:31:12,667 --> 00:31:14,033 All we need now is a boat, 699 00:31:14,034 --> 00:31:15,702 which is a job we gave to Jeremy. 700 00:31:15,703 --> 00:31:16,970 That's his responsibility. 701 00:31:16,971 --> 00:31:18,805 He'll have overdone it, won't he? 702 00:31:18,806 --> 00:31:21,575 Well, he'll have made a statement of some sort, so... 703 00:31:21,576 --> 00:31:24,010 Freight ship. Full-on freight ship. 704 00:31:24,011 --> 00:31:25,480 Or a tanker. 705 00:31:36,256 --> 00:31:37,924 Oh. He hasn't overdone it. 706 00:31:37,925 --> 00:31:39,860 Is that him? 707 00:31:41,261 --> 00:31:43,663 What is the point of that? 708 00:31:43,664 --> 00:31:45,800 Will you come and tie it up? 709 00:31:50,270 --> 00:31:53,206 That's the worst boat I've ever seen. That's awful! 710 00:31:53,207 --> 00:31:55,875 - What's the matter with it? - Well, it... 711 00:31:55,876 --> 00:31:58,678 We gave you $5,000 to buy a boat. 712 00:31:58,679 --> 00:32:00,614 Boats are expensive! 713 00:32:00,615 --> 00:32:02,516 You didn't spend all five grand on this. 714 00:32:02,517 --> 00:32:04,183 - That is not a five thou... - Yes! 715 00:32:04,184 --> 00:32:05,552 I've got toothache. Be kind. 716 00:32:05,553 --> 00:32:08,087 Irrelevant. That is not a $5,000 boat. 717 00:32:08,088 --> 00:32:10,323 - It is! - It's barely a boat. Look at it! 718 00:32:10,324 --> 00:32:12,626 It's brilliant! You'll get a car on this. 719 00:32:12,627 --> 00:32:14,994 - Er... Where? - On the back! 720 00:32:14,995 --> 00:32:16,930 - Who did you buy it from? - A man. 721 00:32:16,931 --> 00:32:19,298 - Was he laughing? - No, he wasn't. 722 00:32:19,299 --> 00:32:20,834 - Can I come aboard? - No. 723 00:32:20,835 --> 00:32:23,570 I don't think it can take two. 724 00:32:23,571 --> 00:32:24,804 Look! It's terrible! 725 00:32:24,805 --> 00:32:26,205 Instead of just standing there, 726 00:32:26,206 --> 00:32:28,942 criticising a man who's got toothache, 727 00:32:28,943 --> 00:32:32,579 why don't you go and get a car on the crane 728 00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:33,881 and start loading it? 729 00:32:36,116 --> 00:32:41,087 Soon, our first car was ready to be lifted onto the boat. 730 00:32:41,088 --> 00:32:43,657 It's just nice to be putting something back, really. 731 00:32:43,658 --> 00:32:45,659 It genuinely is. It's a little old Corsa, 732 00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:47,426 and it's gonna be full of coral. 733 00:32:47,427 --> 00:32:48,995 Mr Coral coming, swimming along. 734 00:32:48,996 --> 00:32:50,363 "Ooh, there's something to latch on to." 735 00:32:50,364 --> 00:32:51,430 Then his friend comes along. 736 00:32:51,431 --> 00:32:52,699 His friend comes along. 737 00:32:52,700 --> 00:32:54,400 This is a genuinely brilliant idea. 738 00:32:54,401 --> 00:32:56,402 That doesn't fill me with... 739 00:32:56,403 --> 00:32:57,637 total confidence. 740 00:33:04,344 --> 00:33:06,445 Down a bit! Down! 741 00:33:06,446 --> 00:33:08,414 You'll have to... 742 00:33:08,415 --> 00:33:09,916 Boom out! 743 00:33:09,917 --> 00:33:11,651 Is that the sign for "boom out"? 744 00:33:11,652 --> 00:33:14,420 That. Yeah, that. 745 00:33:14,421 --> 00:33:16,623 It's like being guided by The Village People. 746 00:33:16,624 --> 00:33:18,391 It's working now. Unless... 747 00:33:18,392 --> 00:33:20,627 On! On! 748 00:33:20,628 --> 00:33:22,729 - The next danger... - You're really helping. 749 00:33:22,730 --> 00:33:24,632 - I've got the guideline. - Right, go! 750 00:33:31,305 --> 00:33:34,373 - Down a bit, James. - Watch for the wind. 751 00:33:34,374 --> 00:33:35,809 Hammond, can you swing it around? 752 00:33:35,810 --> 00:33:37,276 Do you want me to swing it? 753 00:33:37,277 --> 00:33:38,612 Yeah, try and get it... 754 00:33:38,613 --> 00:33:39,814 Oh, shit! 755 00:33:41,816 --> 00:33:43,449 Who pulled that? 756 00:33:43,450 --> 00:33:46,986 We've got to save the car! It's a reef! Save it! 757 00:33:46,987 --> 00:33:48,855 Oh, it's gone! It's gone! 758 00:33:48,856 --> 00:33:50,256 Who pulled the... 759 00:33:50,257 --> 00:33:52,191 That's to release it, you Muppet! 760 00:33:52,192 --> 00:33:54,227 Well, I thought it was a guide rope. 761 00:33:54,228 --> 00:33:57,697 No, I steer it! You just release it when it's on there! 762 00:33:57,698 --> 00:33:59,098 He told me to steer it. 763 00:33:59,099 --> 00:34:00,834 He said, "Pull the rope to steer it." 764 00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:02,902 This is a £400,000 crane! 765 00:34:02,903 --> 00:34:04,838 Why would you steer it with a piece of string?! 766 00:34:04,839 --> 00:34:06,339 It's got all these knobs and buttons. 767 00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:09,676 I steer it, you release it! 768 00:34:09,677 --> 00:34:11,645 So that's a quick release? 769 00:34:11,646 --> 00:34:13,013 - Yes! - Got it. 770 00:34:16,050 --> 00:34:19,385 What if we just said we only had four cars? 771 00:34:19,386 --> 00:34:21,855 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines 772 00:34:21,856 --> 00:34:23,657 and the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea. 773 00:34:23,658 --> 00:34:26,860 - We'll do that piece to camera again. - Yeah, yeah. 774 00:34:26,861 --> 00:34:29,796 The thing is, why use a ship as the hub of your reef? 775 00:34:29,797 --> 00:34:31,364 Why not use cars? There are millions. 776 00:34:31,365 --> 00:34:34,801 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines, 777 00:34:34,802 --> 00:34:38,738 stripped them down and they're ready to go in the sea. 778 00:34:38,739 --> 00:34:40,506 And then James... Oh, yeah. 779 00:34:40,507 --> 00:34:42,041 And then... And then, 780 00:34:42,042 --> 00:34:44,177 this Peugeot was no good as a car, 781 00:34:44,178 --> 00:34:47,681 but will be... but the coral will just stick to it, 782 00:34:47,682 --> 00:34:49,348 oxidising and algae. 783 00:34:49,349 --> 00:34:50,684 Doesn't take very long. 784 00:34:50,685 --> 00:34:53,419 One day, BBC documentary, wheel arch. 785 00:34:53,420 --> 00:34:55,922 Yeah, from just four cars. That's all we had. 786 00:34:55,923 --> 00:34:57,857 Four cars. That's all you need for a reef. 787 00:34:57,858 --> 00:34:59,592 Right, here's the boat we've selected. 788 00:34:59,593 --> 00:35:00,895 It's a little bit damaged. 789 00:35:02,897 --> 00:35:04,497 With the release rope stowed, 790 00:35:04,498 --> 00:35:07,266 we managed to get the first of our four cars 791 00:35:07,267 --> 00:35:10,805 onto the boat, which had come with a broken roof. 792 00:35:12,572 --> 00:35:14,573 - Yeah. Oh, yes! 793 00:35:14,574 --> 00:35:16,843 - Yes! - Yeah! 794 00:35:16,844 --> 00:35:19,478 Good! Result. 795 00:35:19,479 --> 00:35:22,316 And then we had to secure it in place. 796 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,086 I don't understand ratchet straps. 797 00:35:27,087 --> 00:35:30,356 Er... There's water coming into the boat. 798 00:35:30,357 --> 00:35:33,226 - No, there was some in when I bought it. - It's leaking. 799 00:35:33,227 --> 00:35:35,862 There's always a bit of water in the bilges. 800 00:35:35,863 --> 00:35:38,297 It's why boats have bilge pumps. 801 00:35:38,298 --> 00:35:39,999 No, it's coming in. 802 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,736 It's not just like it's in, it's coming in. 803 00:35:42,737 --> 00:35:45,071 - Well, there's none here. - There's holes! It's leaking! 804 00:35:45,072 --> 00:35:48,908 Oh, shit! No, there is! Well, attach us to the crane. 805 00:35:48,909 --> 00:35:50,744 Er... It's gone down. 806 00:35:50,745 --> 00:35:52,846 It has gone... It is going down. 807 00:35:52,847 --> 00:35:54,580 If you attach us to the crane, 808 00:35:54,581 --> 00:35:55,849 it won't sink, will it? 809 00:35:55,850 --> 00:35:57,183 We're tied on. 810 00:35:57,184 --> 00:36:00,186 James, can you just take the slack? 811 00:36:01,156 --> 00:36:03,022 Sadly, James misunderstood 812 00:36:03,023 --> 00:36:04,490 this simple instruction. 813 00:36:04,491 --> 00:36:06,492 - Oh, the whole thing 814 00:36:06,493 --> 00:36:07,761 has collapsed at the back! 815 00:36:07,762 --> 00:36:09,095 Oh, dear God! 816 00:36:09,096 --> 00:36:10,997 Wait! Stop! Whoa! Whoa! What? 817 00:36:10,998 --> 00:36:12,465 It's falling over! 818 00:36:12,466 --> 00:36:14,067 James, it's falling! 819 00:36:14,068 --> 00:36:15,501 - What do you want? - Holy Mother of God! 820 00:36:15,502 --> 00:36:18,438 It's going down! Abandon ship! Save yourself! 821 00:36:22,777 --> 00:36:24,310 Catch it, James! 822 00:36:24,311 --> 00:36:26,079 Save it! 823 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,346 Stop! 824 00:36:27,347 --> 00:36:29,282 What are you doing? 825 00:36:29,283 --> 00:36:31,050 Oh, God. 826 00:36:31,051 --> 00:36:33,152 The French Secret Service 827 00:36:33,153 --> 00:36:36,790 didn't do a job as good as this. 828 00:36:36,791 --> 00:36:38,424 I'm not talking to any of you. 829 00:36:38,425 --> 00:36:40,359 No. Come on, it was May's fault. 830 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,795 You bought a crap boat, 831 00:36:41,796 --> 00:36:43,797 you put an idiot spaniel on the crane, 832 00:36:43,798 --> 00:36:45,799 and, also, think what we were gonna do 833 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,166 for the conception of the car. 834 00:36:47,167 --> 00:36:48,802 People would love the car. They would see it 835 00:36:48,803 --> 00:36:52,005 as a friendly, coral-loving thing. 836 00:36:52,006 --> 00:36:53,372 You're swimming like an old woman. 837 00:36:53,373 --> 00:36:56,109 I don't like being in the bloody water! 838 00:36:56,110 --> 00:37:01,080 Fact! I'm not comfortable! I'm from Birmingham! 839 00:37:01,081 --> 00:37:03,316 Having sunk a boat and two cars 840 00:37:03,317 --> 00:37:05,418 where the cruise liners normally park, 841 00:37:05,419 --> 00:37:10,456 the port authorities suggested we go away. 842 00:37:10,457 --> 00:37:13,159 So we took our three remaining cars 843 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,627 to a nearby marina, 844 00:37:14,628 --> 00:37:16,129 built ourselves a raft, 845 00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:17,496 and hired a boat 846 00:37:17,497 --> 00:37:19,299 which had a crane on the front. 847 00:37:23,838 --> 00:37:25,071 - May! - What? 848 00:37:25,072 --> 00:37:27,606 You're not operating the crane. 849 00:37:27,607 --> 00:37:29,876 You are operating the crane. 850 00:37:29,877 --> 00:37:30,910 Yeah. 851 00:37:30,911 --> 00:37:32,111 I'd just like to point out 852 00:37:32,112 --> 00:37:33,847 that I've been fired from a job 853 00:37:33,848 --> 00:37:35,014 that I was doing perfectly. 854 00:37:35,015 --> 00:37:37,050 - Meant that. 855 00:37:37,051 --> 00:37:39,385 I can't get the crane working. Is there a switch? 856 00:37:39,386 --> 00:37:41,888 Don't come to me for help. I'm rubbish at cranes. 857 00:37:41,889 --> 00:37:45,058 I didn't, did I? Did I? 858 00:37:45,059 --> 00:37:47,995 Soon, we were ready to load our first car. 859 00:37:49,563 --> 00:37:50,629 You're miles away! 860 00:37:50,630 --> 00:37:51,730 You've got to be spot-on. 861 00:37:51,731 --> 00:37:53,199 I can only lift it to there. 862 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,434 This way, this way, this way, this way. 863 00:37:55,435 --> 00:37:57,470 No, up, up, up. 864 00:37:57,471 --> 00:37:59,672 I can't... Jeremy, you'll have to go back. 865 00:37:59,673 --> 00:38:02,175 I can't do it if you keep moving the boat! 866 00:38:02,176 --> 00:38:04,710 If I want to go backwards, I should go that way. 867 00:38:04,711 --> 00:38:06,545 Right, this way. You've got to... I can't move it... 868 00:38:06,546 --> 00:38:07,981 I can't go that way! He's driving! 869 00:38:07,982 --> 00:38:10,149 I can't move it! 870 00:38:10,150 --> 00:38:12,152 Why don't we pick it... Oh, God. 871 00:38:14,288 --> 00:38:16,355 Where are we going?! 872 00:38:16,356 --> 00:38:19,025 The bad things... It's the wind! 873 00:38:19,026 --> 00:38:20,894 RICHARD: Why are we over here? 874 00:38:20,895 --> 00:38:22,228 Wind! 875 00:38:22,229 --> 00:38:24,964 Here he comes! This is it! This is it! 876 00:38:24,965 --> 00:38:27,000 We're coming in hot! 877 00:38:27,001 --> 00:38:28,601 Stop... chasing me with the bloody crane! 878 00:38:28,602 --> 00:38:30,236 May, will you do something quickly in your life? 879 00:38:30,237 --> 00:38:32,605 I'm going to kill him! 880 00:38:32,606 --> 00:38:35,308 Here we go! Yes! Run away! Run away! 881 00:38:36,244 --> 00:38:38,078 We have hooked the apple! 882 00:38:40,314 --> 00:38:42,315 In a bit, in a bit. We are good. 883 00:38:42,316 --> 00:38:44,919 We are so good, it's almost incredible. 884 00:38:46,987 --> 00:38:48,455 Now we had our eye in... 885 00:38:50,991 --> 00:38:52,959 - Oh, Jesus. 886 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:57,230 ...loading the second car was the work of a moment. 887 00:38:57,231 --> 00:38:59,299 We're on. Oh, my God! Yes. 888 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,102 That's it. That'll do. 889 00:39:03,103 --> 00:39:06,605 This is the manliest thing I've ever done. 890 00:39:06,606 --> 00:39:09,342 I'm just gonna rest my big balls on my crane. 891 00:39:15,715 --> 00:39:17,050 With our raft full, 892 00:39:17,051 --> 00:39:18,451 we headed out to the spot 893 00:39:18,452 --> 00:39:20,653 identified by marine biologists 894 00:39:20,654 --> 00:39:24,723 as having the perfect depth, current and temperature 895 00:39:24,724 --> 00:39:26,326 for a reef to form. 896 00:39:27,827 --> 00:39:29,362 Release the reef! 897 00:39:29,363 --> 00:39:31,664 Yes! There it goes! 898 00:39:31,665 --> 00:39:33,967 - The reef is born! - That's our reef! 899 00:39:33,968 --> 00:39:36,435 - Sink! - Come, coral! Come! 900 00:39:36,436 --> 00:39:39,973 Yeah! 901 00:39:39,974 --> 00:39:42,075 Go! Yes! 902 00:39:42,076 --> 00:39:44,978 Oh, I'm pleased with that! 903 00:39:44,979 --> 00:39:47,146 The Peugeot 206. 904 00:39:47,147 --> 00:39:48,482 That is brilliant. 905 00:39:50,650 --> 00:39:53,019 Next, we had to anchor the cars in place, 906 00:39:53,020 --> 00:39:57,223 which was a job for the only qualified diver among us. 907 00:39:57,224 --> 00:39:59,293 He'd even brought his own equipment. 908 00:40:01,128 --> 00:40:02,895 Right. Back a bit. 909 00:40:02,896 --> 00:40:04,063 Back... That's on my nose. 910 00:40:04,064 --> 00:40:05,564 Stop moaning! 911 00:40:05,565 --> 00:40:06,700 Ow! 912 00:40:18,712 --> 00:40:20,046 If he were a heart surgeon, 913 00:40:20,047 --> 00:40:21,714 he would turn up with an old leather bag 914 00:40:21,715 --> 00:40:23,716 with a saw and hammer in it, wouldn't he? 915 00:40:23,717 --> 00:40:25,818 "I'm ready to do your operation. Here I am." 916 00:40:29,923 --> 00:40:32,758 It's like his old table with his Bakelite telephone on it. 917 00:40:32,759 --> 00:40:35,362 - Yes. - "Hello. Hammersmith 37 here." 918 00:40:37,097 --> 00:40:38,831 James's suit was so old, 919 00:40:38,832 --> 00:40:41,934 it didn't come with air tanks, so, annoyingly, 920 00:40:41,935 --> 00:40:45,005 it was our responsibility to keep him alive. 921 00:40:47,141 --> 00:40:49,408 How long have we got to do this for? 922 00:40:49,409 --> 00:40:51,810 Well, for as long as he's done there. 923 00:40:51,811 --> 00:40:54,448 - Honestly, I'm exhausted. - I'm getting dizzy. 924 00:40:55,849 --> 00:40:57,483 We should keep going. 925 00:40:57,484 --> 00:40:59,552 No. Look, there's a generator. 926 00:40:59,553 --> 00:41:01,620 Why don't we just connect it to the generator? 927 00:41:08,762 --> 00:41:09,928 Now. Now. 928 00:41:09,929 --> 00:41:11,630 - Yeah. - You're an idiot. 929 00:41:15,602 --> 00:41:18,105 - Life-saving air. 930 00:41:19,673 --> 00:41:21,375 - Oh, there we go. 931 00:41:22,576 --> 00:41:24,611 On. And relax. 932 00:41:42,629 --> 00:41:43,663 Nearly! 933 00:42:12,025 --> 00:42:14,360 Come in, James. 934 00:42:14,361 --> 00:42:17,430 When our colleague finally surfaced... 935 00:42:17,431 --> 00:42:19,433 he was very angry. 936 00:42:21,301 --> 00:42:23,602 That was nowhere near the cars. Nowhere near. 937 00:42:23,603 --> 00:42:25,438 What was nowhere near the cars? 938 00:42:25,439 --> 00:42:27,806 You might as well have dropped me off the coast of Los Angeles! 939 00:42:27,807 --> 00:42:30,176 - I couldn't even see them! - Just stop. Stop. 940 00:42:30,177 --> 00:42:31,777 What do you... What do you mean? 941 00:42:31,778 --> 00:42:33,446 How did you manage... You're the boat expert, 942 00:42:33,447 --> 00:42:34,813 as you're forever telling us. 943 00:42:34,814 --> 00:42:36,615 How did you manage to put the cars there 944 00:42:36,616 --> 00:42:39,352 and then move the boat about 100 yards away? 945 00:42:39,353 --> 00:42:40,619 - We drifted. - We drifted a bit. 946 00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:43,289 - Have you done the job? - No. 947 00:42:43,290 --> 00:42:45,358 - What? - The cars are not anchored. 948 00:42:45,359 --> 00:42:46,659 Because when I got there, 949 00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:49,995 your drifting, stupid, orange biscuit-tin boat 950 00:42:49,996 --> 00:42:51,264 yanked me back off it! 951 00:42:51,265 --> 00:42:52,631 We don't have an afternoon 952 00:42:52,632 --> 00:42:54,567 to just throw away while you go paddling. 953 00:42:54,568 --> 00:42:57,337 You're saying... I'm gonna have to do it, aren't I? 954 00:42:59,173 --> 00:43:03,277 Soon, James Bond was ready to go in the water. 955 00:43:05,345 --> 00:43:07,513 - Do I look like Roger Moore? - Yeah, you do. 956 00:43:07,514 --> 00:43:10,383 - You do, yeah. Yeah. - Roger Moore, the greengrocer. 957 00:43:10,384 --> 00:43:13,886 - Let go. Yes! - Yay! 958 00:43:13,887 --> 00:43:17,055 I've just handed Jeremy a welding iron. 959 00:43:17,056 --> 00:43:18,592 Oh, dear God. 960 00:43:23,263 --> 00:43:26,399 I'm not sure I trust Jeremy to do welding. 961 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,501 I wouldn't trust Jeremy 962 00:43:28,502 --> 00:43:31,804 to watch a YouTube guide to welding. 963 00:43:31,805 --> 00:43:34,940 Oh! What's that? 964 00:43:34,941 --> 00:43:37,443 That's gone wrong. Jeremy? 965 00:43:37,444 --> 00:43:39,246 Badly, horribly wrong. 966 00:43:45,619 --> 00:43:47,786 Ah! 967 00:43:47,787 --> 00:43:50,223 - How did that go? - Very well. 968 00:43:50,224 --> 00:43:51,290 - Did it? - Oh, yeah. 969 00:43:51,291 --> 00:43:52,691 - Did it? - Yeah. 970 00:43:52,692 --> 00:43:53,826 That was all... 971 00:43:53,827 --> 00:43:55,495 They are not going anywhere in a hurry. 972 00:43:59,899 --> 00:44:02,835 We headed back to shore for an agreeable dinner, 973 00:44:02,836 --> 00:44:06,104 happy that our important environmental work 974 00:44:06,105 --> 00:44:08,342 was, at last, going well. 975 00:44:12,712 --> 00:44:16,515 But are the coral starting now? 976 00:44:16,516 --> 00:44:18,150 - Yeah. - So they're down there now. 977 00:44:18,151 --> 00:44:21,554 - A bit of coral's gonna... - Yeah, it will have done. 978 00:44:21,555 --> 00:44:22,921 It's not a big coral reef, 979 00:44:22,922 --> 00:44:24,790 but it's the start of a coral reef. 980 00:44:24,791 --> 00:44:26,792 Well done, chaps. We have done... 981 00:44:26,793 --> 00:44:28,494 I don't clink glasses, as you know, 982 00:44:28,495 --> 00:44:30,829 but we can raise a glass to our success today. 983 00:44:30,830 --> 00:44:32,466 Yes. Well done, us. 984 00:44:35,735 --> 00:44:37,703 Maybe that's what Volkswagen were doing... 985 00:44:37,704 --> 00:44:38,771 building a reef. 986 00:44:38,772 --> 00:44:40,939 That could be it. That could be it. 987 00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:44,743 We're gonna pick up our important marine biology work later on. 988 00:44:44,744 --> 00:44:48,947 But now it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash! 989 00:44:56,189 --> 00:44:57,623 That doesn't get any better. 990 00:44:57,624 --> 00:44:59,525 That really doesn't get any better, that sting. 991 00:44:59,526 --> 00:45:02,861 But anyway, my guest tonight is from... 992 00:45:02,862 --> 00:45:04,597 Well, how can I describe it, really? 993 00:45:04,598 --> 00:45:05,831 ...the second biggest 994 00:45:05,832 --> 00:45:07,733 and most important part of the world, 995 00:45:07,734 --> 00:45:11,304 as far as music is concerned: the Northeast of England. 996 00:45:11,305 --> 00:45:12,871 - Oh, come on! 997 00:45:12,872 --> 00:45:14,340 Well, hello?! 998 00:45:14,341 --> 00:45:16,141 Mark Knopfler, Paul Rodgers, 999 00:45:16,142 --> 00:45:19,077 Gordon Sting, a couple of people out of Little Mix. 1000 00:45:19,078 --> 00:45:21,847 - Lindisfarne. Mm, lovely. - Yes, Lindisfarne. We'll gloss over that. 1001 00:45:21,848 --> 00:45:24,383 But then we've also got... (CLEARS THROAT) ...the main man. 1002 00:45:24,384 --> 00:45:28,321 The man we have lined up for you, he is the lead singer 1003 00:45:28,322 --> 00:45:31,324 of the biggest rock band in the world, AC/DC. 1004 00:45:31,325 --> 00:45:33,792 Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Johnson! 1005 00:45:35,629 --> 00:45:37,229 - There he is! - There he is! 1006 00:45:37,230 --> 00:45:38,797 There he is! Here he comes! 1007 00:45:38,798 --> 00:45:41,534 What are we gonna talk to him about? 1008 00:45:41,535 --> 00:45:43,802 - Well, he's taken up motor racing. - Yeah. 1009 00:45:43,803 --> 00:45:46,071 - He's got a new TV show. - Yes, on the road. 1010 00:45:46,072 --> 00:45:47,706 He's on the road. 1011 00:45:47,707 --> 00:45:49,608 I'm gonna talk to him about being at the front 1012 00:45:49,609 --> 00:45:51,344 of the world's biggest rock band. 1013 00:45:51,345 --> 00:45:53,346 - Where is he? - He's Brian Johnson. 1014 00:45:53,347 --> 00:45:54,947 - Here he comes! - Oh, there he is! 1015 00:45:54,948 --> 00:45:57,850 - There he is. - The man himself. What a legend! 1016 00:45:57,851 --> 00:46:00,486 I can't... I've always wanted to meet him. I'm thrilled. 1017 00:46:00,487 --> 00:46:01,854 - Yeah. - That is a legend. Proper... 1018 00:46:01,855 --> 00:46:03,789 - Oh, hello. - Oh, hello. 1019 00:46:03,790 --> 00:46:05,157 - What? - Oh, my... 1020 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,260 Oh, God! 1021 00:46:10,897 --> 00:46:13,932 - We killed him. - We've killed Brian Johnson. 1022 00:46:13,933 --> 00:46:16,068 That's... 1023 00:46:16,069 --> 00:46:18,236 OK. 1024 00:46:18,237 --> 00:46:19,805 Brian Johnson has been run over 1025 00:46:19,806 --> 00:46:22,941 by some people who think they are playing football. 1026 00:46:22,942 --> 00:46:25,177 But they're not. It's not football, is it? 1027 00:46:25,178 --> 00:46:26,579 Cos they don't use their feet. 1028 00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:28,213 That's not football. 1029 00:46:28,214 --> 00:46:30,783 That's just people dressing up. 1030 00:46:32,251 --> 00:46:33,652 - That's... - We play football. 1031 00:46:33,653 --> 00:46:35,621 - We play football. - Yeah, with our feet. 1032 00:46:35,622 --> 00:46:37,390 - We play football. 1033 00:46:37,391 --> 00:46:39,224 - MEN: Soccer! It's soccer! - What?! 1034 00:46:39,225 --> 00:46:41,093 It's not soccer! It's football that we play! 1035 00:46:41,094 --> 00:46:45,998 It's 6.75 billion people in the world call it football! 1036 00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:48,901 You can moan and shout all you like. 1037 00:46:48,902 --> 00:46:50,836 The fact is, we're British and we edit this show, 1038 00:46:50,837 --> 00:46:52,405 and you'll just get cut out. 1039 00:46:52,406 --> 00:46:53,807 You will. 1040 00:46:54,708 --> 00:46:56,475 This is a rugby ball! 1041 00:46:56,476 --> 00:46:57,676 Look on the screen. 1042 00:46:57,677 --> 00:46:58,977 They're only playing 1043 00:46:58,978 --> 00:47:01,447 with the padding they were born with! 1044 00:47:01,448 --> 00:47:03,148 This is not a football! 1045 00:47:03,149 --> 00:47:04,983 They call it football. 1046 00:47:08,888 --> 00:47:13,126 USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! 1047 00:47:15,462 --> 00:47:16,829 So... 1048 00:47:16,830 --> 00:47:20,098 Brian Johnson has been run over by erm... 1049 00:47:20,099 --> 00:47:23,168 ...some supremely brave and talented footballers. 1050 00:47:28,274 --> 00:47:30,308 Er... 1051 00:47:30,309 --> 00:47:32,545 Does that mean he's not coming on, then? 1052 00:47:32,546 --> 00:47:34,312 Well, James, he's been hammered 1053 00:47:34,313 --> 00:47:35,748 to the thickness of an envelope 1054 00:47:35,749 --> 00:47:38,617 and his spine is now a jigsaw, so that is a no. 1055 00:47:38,618 --> 00:47:40,152 - Fine. 1056 00:47:40,153 --> 00:47:42,455 Right, so what are we gonna do to fill the time? 1057 00:47:42,456 --> 00:47:43,456 I've got nothing. 1058 00:47:43,457 --> 00:47:44,723 We could get back 1059 00:47:44,724 --> 00:47:46,525 to our important marine biology work. 1060 00:47:46,526 --> 00:47:48,226 - Plan. Do it. - Yes, let's do that. 1061 00:47:48,227 --> 00:47:49,695 So when we left the action, 1062 00:47:49,696 --> 00:47:51,864 erm... I'd successfully 1063 00:47:51,865 --> 00:47:54,232 welded two cars to the seabed, 1064 00:47:54,233 --> 00:47:55,668 and that was good. 1065 00:47:55,669 --> 00:47:58,471 Yeah, and we pick up the action the next day, 1066 00:47:58,472 --> 00:48:00,874 as we go back to finish the job. 1067 00:48:04,077 --> 00:48:06,545 On our way to get the last car, 1068 00:48:06,546 --> 00:48:07,913 we stopped at the reef site 1069 00:48:07,914 --> 00:48:09,849 to make sure everything was OK. 1070 00:48:11,918 --> 00:48:13,019 Tom Daley! 1071 00:48:20,494 --> 00:48:22,127 I don't like it. 1072 00:48:22,128 --> 00:48:23,730 Oh. Oh. 1073 00:48:26,833 --> 00:48:29,502 And after a few moments in the water, 1074 00:48:29,503 --> 00:48:32,304 we discovered it wasn't. 1075 00:48:32,305 --> 00:48:35,508 Where the bloody hell are they? There's the buoy. 1076 00:48:35,509 --> 00:48:37,075 This is the wrong place. 1077 00:48:37,076 --> 00:48:38,777 Yes, that marks the spot. 1078 00:48:38,778 --> 00:48:40,779 They're just not here. 1079 00:48:40,780 --> 00:48:43,949 Why did we trust you to fix them in place? 1080 00:48:43,950 --> 00:48:46,184 - I didn't... Listen. - Of all people. 1081 00:48:46,185 --> 00:48:48,120 Well, I don't understand it, 1082 00:48:48,121 --> 00:48:50,088 cos I don't normally make a mess of... 1083 00:48:50,089 --> 00:48:52,124 Oh, you must have made a good job of it. 1084 00:48:52,125 --> 00:48:53,158 That's why they've gone! 1085 00:48:53,159 --> 00:48:54,927 There is evidence, or a lack of it, 1086 00:48:54,928 --> 00:48:56,929 to suggest you can't weld. 1087 00:48:56,930 --> 00:48:58,697 - Oh, shit. - Maybe a shark... 1088 00:48:58,698 --> 00:49:00,766 - Er... - What? 1089 00:49:00,767 --> 00:49:03,235 - What? - Look. 1090 00:49:03,236 --> 00:49:04,803 Oh, brilliant! 1091 00:49:04,804 --> 00:49:06,404 How the hell did they do that, though? 1092 00:49:06,405 --> 00:49:09,107 You know this current that's whizzing us about? 1093 00:49:09,108 --> 00:49:12,244 Look at them! They're not gonna make a reef, are they?! 1094 00:49:12,245 --> 00:49:13,979 Well, maybe it could be 1095 00:49:13,980 --> 00:49:16,281 like a play area for the privileged. 1096 00:49:16,282 --> 00:49:17,550 Some rusty cars? 1097 00:49:17,551 --> 00:49:18,684 That doesn't work, does it? 1098 00:49:18,685 --> 00:49:19,919 No. 1099 00:49:22,756 --> 00:49:24,890 Obviously, we had to retrieve them, 1100 00:49:24,891 --> 00:49:26,625 which meant moving the raft 1101 00:49:26,626 --> 00:49:28,762 to the stern of our crane boat. 1102 00:49:30,864 --> 00:49:32,665 James, have you untied that end? 1103 00:49:32,666 --> 00:49:37,069 Yeah. Get ready to catch this rope. Here we go. 1104 00:49:37,070 --> 00:49:39,404 Pull it along a bit and get it sort of squared up. 1105 00:49:39,405 --> 00:49:41,073 I'll have a nice ride. 1106 00:49:41,074 --> 00:49:43,576 Right. Repositioning raft. 1107 00:49:45,912 --> 00:49:47,813 That's a reassuring noise. 1108 00:49:47,814 --> 00:49:52,017 Er... Where... Where's that come from? 1109 00:49:52,018 --> 00:49:53,351 James. James. 1110 00:49:53,352 --> 00:49:55,153 - What? - What's that doing over there? 1111 00:49:55,154 --> 00:49:56,589 What's what doing? 1112 00:49:56,590 --> 00:49:58,223 All this bamboo's come off. 1113 00:49:58,224 --> 00:49:59,658 What have you untied? 1114 00:49:59,659 --> 00:50:01,894 I've untied the piece of string at the front. 1115 00:50:01,895 --> 00:50:06,131 But, look, half the craft is disappearing. 1116 00:50:06,132 --> 00:50:09,267 As the raft was disintegrating fast, 1117 00:50:09,268 --> 00:50:12,037 we had to get it to shore quickly. 1118 00:50:12,038 --> 00:50:14,040 Firing up the machine! 1119 00:50:16,776 --> 00:50:19,411 Sadly, though, Jeremy's turn of speed 1120 00:50:19,412 --> 00:50:21,313 only made things worse. 1121 00:50:21,314 --> 00:50:23,481 Power! Power! Come on! 1122 00:50:23,482 --> 00:50:24,784 Slow down! 1123 00:50:25,852 --> 00:50:28,453 It's falling apart! 1124 00:50:28,454 --> 00:50:31,089 Look, he's going down! Slow down! 1125 00:50:31,090 --> 00:50:33,559 Slow! 1126 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,869 You can't put cars on that, can you? 1127 00:50:43,870 --> 00:50:46,338 After we'd rescued James, 1128 00:50:46,339 --> 00:50:49,241 he stupidly suggested that, to solve the problem, 1129 00:50:49,242 --> 00:50:52,344 we should ruin everyone's holiday. 1130 00:51:02,088 --> 00:51:05,023 I think these people should move out of the way. 1131 00:51:05,024 --> 00:51:08,093 My plan was to tow the cars off the beach 1132 00:51:08,094 --> 00:51:11,664 and back to the harbour so we could start again. 1133 00:51:11,665 --> 00:51:15,567 Which meant I'd need the help of the man from Atlantis. 1134 00:51:15,568 --> 00:51:18,771 Hold my hand! There! There! There! Now, let me go. 1135 00:51:18,772 --> 00:51:20,205 Yeah, that's me. You have to let... 1136 00:51:20,206 --> 00:51:23,508 Oh, mind my arm! Let me go now. I'm fine. 1137 00:51:23,509 --> 00:51:24,744 I don't like it! 1138 00:51:29,215 --> 00:51:30,850 Move! 1139 00:51:37,724 --> 00:51:41,359 Hammond, tie both of them to this and give me a thumbs up. 1140 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,595 If James gets those onto the road, 1141 00:51:43,596 --> 00:51:45,297 all the way back up to the harbour, 1142 00:51:45,298 --> 00:51:48,967 build another raft, get them loaded on... 1143 00:51:48,968 --> 00:51:51,805 ...bring them back, it's gonna take days. 1144 00:51:55,074 --> 00:51:57,342 - OK. - Don't stand near the back. 1145 00:51:57,343 --> 00:51:58,343 The brakes don't work. 1146 00:52:02,048 --> 00:52:03,717 Yeah! 1147 00:52:16,229 --> 00:52:18,965 - Well, now what? - That was rubbish. 1148 00:52:20,333 --> 00:52:23,168 I then said we should use my brilliant boat 1149 00:52:23,169 --> 00:52:25,971 to tow the cars back to the reef site, 1150 00:52:25,972 --> 00:52:28,174 which would be quicker and easier. 1151 00:52:33,646 --> 00:52:36,581 They're in the water! 1152 00:52:38,451 --> 00:52:40,753 Ha-ha! Power! 1153 00:52:40,754 --> 00:52:42,221 Power! Come on! 1154 00:52:44,157 --> 00:52:45,758 Yes! 1155 00:52:45,759 --> 00:52:48,461 Eat my boat, James May! 1156 00:52:51,430 --> 00:52:52,564 Come on! 1157 00:52:56,569 --> 00:52:58,337 Victory is the boat's! 1158 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,843 James May's hopeless plan... 1159 00:53:05,678 --> 00:53:06,980 What was that? 1160 00:53:08,948 --> 00:53:11,850 With two rusty Peugeots in his swimming area 1161 00:53:11,851 --> 00:53:14,186 and his beach furniture in ruins, 1162 00:53:14,187 --> 00:53:16,554 the hotel manager had had enough 1163 00:53:16,555 --> 00:53:18,291 and ordered us to leave. 1164 00:53:20,059 --> 00:53:24,196 We'd now lost four cars, a boat and our raft. 1165 00:53:24,197 --> 00:53:27,499 But on the plus side, we still had one car left, 1166 00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:31,536 and most importantly, the crane boat. 1167 00:53:31,537 --> 00:53:34,507 But that night, there was bad news. 1168 00:53:39,045 --> 00:53:42,981 The man who owns it is not best pleased with us. 1169 00:53:42,982 --> 00:53:45,918 - Because? - He has off-hired it. 1170 00:53:45,919 --> 00:53:48,821 - We've not got the crane boat? - No. 1171 00:53:48,822 --> 00:53:52,324 - That was the most useful thing we had. - Yeah. 1172 00:53:52,325 --> 00:53:56,194 So what can we possibly do with a Land Rover? 1173 00:53:56,195 --> 00:53:58,596 Well... Well, what? 1174 00:53:58,597 --> 00:54:00,933 If I can be positive... 1175 00:54:00,934 --> 00:54:02,534 The Land Rover's largely aluminium, 1176 00:54:02,535 --> 00:54:05,838 which is actually even better for creating a reef. 1177 00:54:05,839 --> 00:54:07,105 - True. - But it's on the land! 1178 00:54:07,106 --> 00:54:09,341 Yes, it is true. The Land Rover is... 1179 00:54:09,342 --> 00:54:11,476 It's irrelevant. We've lost everything else. 1180 00:54:11,477 --> 00:54:13,379 Yes, but it's good if... 1181 00:54:15,849 --> 00:54:17,649 I've had a brainwave. 1182 00:54:17,650 --> 00:54:19,085 Oh, God. 1183 00:54:21,921 --> 00:54:23,889 And so, the next morning, 1184 00:54:23,890 --> 00:54:26,291 the people of Barbados were treated 1185 00:54:26,292 --> 00:54:28,026 to the magnificent spectacle 1186 00:54:28,027 --> 00:54:30,495 of a Land Rover gliding majestically 1187 00:54:30,496 --> 00:54:32,097 on a bed of inner tubes 1188 00:54:32,098 --> 00:54:34,867 across the Caribbean Sea. 1189 00:54:34,868 --> 00:54:37,602 Here we are on our final car, and it's a classic. 1190 00:54:37,603 --> 00:54:39,171 It's a Series I Land Rover. 1191 00:54:39,172 --> 00:54:41,006 No, it's a Series II. 1192 00:54:41,007 --> 00:54:42,875 It's a Series I. The lights are close together. 1193 00:54:42,876 --> 00:54:44,742 No, it's got the barrel rolls on the doors. 1194 00:54:44,743 --> 00:54:46,111 It's a Series II. 1195 00:54:46,112 --> 00:54:47,512 - That makes it a Series II? - Yeah. 1196 00:54:47,513 --> 00:54:49,381 I thought Series IIs had the lights angled. 1197 00:54:49,382 --> 00:54:51,183 I think we're getting stuck on this. 1198 00:54:51,184 --> 00:54:53,185 - It's a Land Rover. - It's an old Land Rover. 1199 00:54:53,186 --> 00:54:54,619 The good thing about it is 1200 00:54:54,620 --> 00:54:56,321 it corrodes much less quickly than the steel car. 1201 00:54:56,322 --> 00:54:58,891 We've also glued these limestone tiles to it, 1202 00:54:58,892 --> 00:55:02,995 because porous limestone is the perfect base, foundation, 1203 00:55:02,996 --> 00:55:04,997 for coral to start a reef. 1204 00:55:04,998 --> 00:55:08,300 This is a coral-reef-making machine. 1205 00:55:08,301 --> 00:55:11,336 In fact, the only fly in the ointment 1206 00:55:11,337 --> 00:55:14,306 was its propulsion system. 1207 00:55:14,307 --> 00:55:17,075 - Can I go a bit faster? - No! 1208 00:55:17,076 --> 00:55:19,211 It's filling with water the faster you go. 1209 00:55:19,212 --> 00:55:20,645 We'll sink it in the wrong place. 1210 00:55:20,646 --> 00:55:24,082 This is our last car, our last chance. 1211 00:55:24,083 --> 00:55:27,252 They're bleating on. "Oh, don't go too fast!" 1212 00:55:27,253 --> 00:55:29,922 You're going faster again, Jeremy! 1213 00:55:29,923 --> 00:55:32,457 You're pulling it under! 1214 00:55:32,458 --> 00:55:34,026 Relax! 1215 00:55:34,027 --> 00:55:35,493 Am I the same species as that? 1216 00:55:35,494 --> 00:55:36,694 No. 1217 00:55:36,695 --> 00:55:38,696 Jeremy, don't sink it 1218 00:55:38,697 --> 00:55:40,532 before we get there! 1219 00:55:40,533 --> 00:55:43,335 Mother of God! Have you seen that? 1220 00:55:43,336 --> 00:55:44,937 - What? - Guys, look! 1221 00:55:44,938 --> 00:55:48,141 Oh, my God! Holy cow! Look at it! 1222 00:55:49,242 --> 00:55:50,976 That is phenomenal! 1223 00:55:50,977 --> 00:55:53,211 Yeah! Racing! 1224 00:55:53,212 --> 00:55:56,181 Jeremy, you're going to sink us! Don't race it! 1225 00:55:56,182 --> 00:55:59,251 Catch the... Oh, I haven't got time for these two. 1226 00:55:59,252 --> 00:56:02,321 Right. Let's go catch that sailing boat! 1227 00:56:04,390 --> 00:56:06,459 Oh, brilliant! 1228 00:56:18,637 --> 00:56:20,006 Watch this, sunshine. 1229 00:56:24,243 --> 00:56:26,178 That is the fastest thing I've... 1230 00:56:26,179 --> 00:56:28,147 Why is it faster than me? 1231 00:56:35,788 --> 00:56:40,025 They're so good, breeze is beating brake horsepower. 1232 00:56:40,026 --> 00:56:41,660 I cannot keep up with it. 1233 00:56:45,999 --> 00:56:48,900 When do we drink our own urine? 1234 00:56:48,901 --> 00:56:50,603 Look at that thing now! 1235 00:56:58,777 --> 00:57:00,079 Bloody Nora! 1236 00:57:06,785 --> 00:57:09,722 That is just... fabulous! 1237 00:57:17,496 --> 00:57:20,732 I could have buzzed around this amazing machine all day, 1238 00:57:20,733 --> 00:57:24,202 but there was still important environmental work to do. 1239 00:57:24,203 --> 00:57:26,438 So, reluctantly, I broke off 1240 00:57:26,439 --> 00:57:29,242 to rejoin my stranded colleagues. 1241 00:57:33,412 --> 00:57:35,347 - Are you all right? - Well, no! 1242 00:57:35,348 --> 00:57:37,949 We've just been left to drift in a Land Rover! 1243 00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:40,552 Fortunately for you, none of these ceramic tiles is loose, 1244 00:57:40,553 --> 00:57:42,421 otherwise I'd chuck it at your head. 1245 00:57:49,895 --> 00:57:52,197 Do you know, I think it actually handles better 1246 00:57:52,198 --> 00:57:53,631 than it does on land. 1247 00:57:53,632 --> 00:57:56,701 Soon, we will reach the reef site, 1248 00:57:56,702 --> 00:57:58,703 puncture the inner tubes, the Land Rover will sink, 1249 00:57:58,704 --> 00:58:01,773 and it will become a safe haven for cod 1250 00:58:01,774 --> 00:58:05,478 and haddock and... bream. 1251 00:58:08,214 --> 00:58:09,881 Eventually, we reached the site 1252 00:58:09,882 --> 00:58:13,086 and said about scuttling our reef machine. 1253 00:58:20,993 --> 00:58:23,161 Fire! 1254 00:58:23,162 --> 00:58:25,631 Yes! Yes! 1255 00:58:29,868 --> 00:58:31,969 Here we go! 1256 00:58:31,970 --> 00:58:34,005 Down! Sink! 1257 00:58:34,006 --> 00:58:35,308 Whoo! 1258 00:58:43,516 --> 00:58:46,351 In truth, all great environmental projects 1259 00:58:46,352 --> 00:58:48,553 are beset with problems. 1260 00:58:48,554 --> 00:58:51,723 And ours, through no fault of our own, except James's, 1261 00:58:51,724 --> 00:58:52,825 was no exception. 1262 00:58:56,295 --> 00:58:58,431 Save it! Stop! 1263 00:59:05,138 --> 00:59:06,771 So, in the end, our new reef 1264 00:59:06,772 --> 00:59:10,308 wasn't quite as spectacular as we'd hoped. 1265 00:59:10,309 --> 00:59:11,776 But it was a start, 1266 00:59:11,777 --> 00:59:13,978 and one day it'll be the core of something 1267 00:59:13,979 --> 00:59:16,148 a thousand miles long... 1268 00:59:16,149 --> 00:59:18,015 a new and beautiful home 1269 00:59:18,016 --> 00:59:21,520 for the cod and the haddock of the Caribbean. 1270 00:59:45,444 --> 00:59:47,812 - - Thank you so much. 1271 00:59:47,813 --> 00:59:50,382 And a very big thank you to the government of Barbados 1272 00:59:50,383 --> 00:59:51,883 for helping us with that film. 1273 00:59:51,884 --> 00:59:54,819 And we'd just like to say no coral was damaged 1274 00:59:54,820 --> 00:59:56,588 while we were building our reef. 1275 00:59:56,589 --> 01:00:00,592 No. Or, if we're perfectly honest, created. 1276 01:00:00,593 --> 01:00:02,627 However, we came back with a brilliant idea. 1277 01:00:02,628 --> 01:00:04,496 You see, we liked it in the Caribbean. 1278 01:00:04,497 --> 01:00:06,398 Our crews liked it in the Caribbean. 1279 01:00:06,399 --> 01:00:08,400 So we thought it would be a good idea, next week, 1280 01:00:08,401 --> 01:00:09,701 to make a film 1281 01:00:09,702 --> 01:00:12,404 comparing the motoring cultures of the French, 1282 01:00:12,405 --> 01:00:13,905 the Dutch and the British Islands. 1283 01:00:13,906 --> 01:00:15,940 - Yeah, it was a great idea. - Brilliant idea. 1284 01:00:15,941 --> 01:00:17,342 But Mr Wilman, our producer, 1285 01:00:17,343 --> 01:00:19,244 he decided it wasn't a brilliant idea, 1286 01:00:19,245 --> 01:00:20,745 and that, instead, 1287 01:00:20,746 --> 01:00:22,714 we should go to northern France with three old cars 1288 01:00:22,715 --> 01:00:24,816 - and drive around in the rain. 1289 01:00:24,817 --> 01:00:26,584 So that's what we're actually doing. 1290 01:00:26,585 --> 01:00:28,686 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. 1291 01:00:28,687 --> 01:00:30,322 Thank you so much for watching. 1292 01:00:30,323 --> 01:00:32,924 Thank you for coming. See you soon. Take care. 1293 01:00:32,925 --> 01:00:34,627 See you next time.