1 00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:54,953 (CHEERING) 2 00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,727 Hello, everybody. 3 00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:04,530 Hello. Hello. 4 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,333 Greetings! 5 00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:11,037 That doesn't get any worse. 6 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,541 JEREMY: Hello. 7 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,411 Hello, and welcome! 8 00:01:19,478 --> 00:01:21,147 Welcome to The Grand Tour, 9 00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:23,249 which, once again, comes to you 10 00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:26,052 from the shores of Loch Ness in Scotland. 11 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,454 (CHEERING) 12 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,322 Now... 13 00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:35,161 The reason why we're still here is, 14 00:01:35,227 --> 00:01:36,695 after last week's show, 15 00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:40,199 these two got talking to a man in the local town, 16 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,068 who has convinced them that, 17 00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:45,137 in that lake, there is a monster. 18 00:01:45,204 --> 00:01:48,174 Well, there is a monster. 19 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,708 Have you seen it? 20 00:01:49,775 --> 00:01:52,211 No, but the man was very convincing. 21 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,945 Did he sell you a tea towel 22 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,782 with a drawing of the monster on it? 23 00:01:56,848 --> 00:01:59,918 He did, and now we know what the monster looks like. 24 00:01:59,985 --> 00:02:03,255 Exactly. We've also got photographs of the monster. 25 00:02:03,322 --> 00:02:05,724 - Look, we've got this one. - JEREMY: That's a log. 26 00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:08,294 JAMES: And we've got this one. Look at that! 27 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,262 - Monster. - Another log. 28 00:02:10,329 --> 00:02:13,632 Can I just draw your attention to a picture I've got? Here it is. 29 00:02:13,699 --> 00:02:15,567 RICHARD: Well, that's not a monster, is it? 30 00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:18,570 No, that is an elephant shrew. Well spotted. 31 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:22,808 Now, this is the Nissan GT-R among animals. 32 00:02:22,874 --> 00:02:25,611 Have you ever seen it on the move? It's phenomenal! 33 00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:28,480 It leaves a rooster tail and it corners like it's got downforce. 34 00:02:28,547 --> 00:02:32,017 But my point is, this is a very rare animal, 35 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:36,722 and yet the photograph of it is in sharp focus and colour. 36 00:02:36,788 --> 00:02:38,724 (LAUGHTER) 37 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,926 Now, all the pictures of your monster are in black and white. 38 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:43,329 - Well, maybe it is black and white. - And blurry. 39 00:02:43,395 --> 00:02:44,930 - Maybe it's blurry. - (LAUGHTER) 40 00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:47,866 This has been driving me mad all week, so I decided 41 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,802 to go for a drive on some of Scotland's, let's be honest, 42 00:02:50,869 --> 00:02:52,371 brilliant driving roads. 43 00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:55,207 - They are... They are fantastic. - (CHEERING) 44 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,945 And actually, speaking of which, 45 00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:03,449 something called the North Highland Initiative, 46 00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:05,050 set up by Prince Charles, 47 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,586 a few years ago it came up with the North Coast 500. 48 00:03:07,653 --> 00:03:12,458 Now, this was going to be Scotland's answer to Route 66 in America. 49 00:03:12,524 --> 00:03:16,162 Miles of amazing scenery. Incredible road. 50 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:17,963 Got a picture of a bit of it here. 51 00:03:18,029 --> 00:03:19,165 Look at that. 52 00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:20,732 Huge success. 53 00:03:20,799 --> 00:03:22,701 Loads of big spenders came 54 00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:25,003 with their Lamborghinis, and their Ferraris and their Porsches. 55 00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,373 Hotels were full, restaurants were packed. 56 00:03:27,439 --> 00:03:29,708 Local economy booming. 57 00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:32,043 So how long do you think it was 58 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,645 before the local newspaper 59 00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:36,782 carried a headline containing the following words: 60 00:03:36,848 --> 00:03:38,750 "police" and "crackdown"? 61 00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:39,818 (LAUGHTER) 62 00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:40,952 Ten days. 63 00:03:41,019 --> 00:03:42,721 - Two days. - Two days. 64 00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:45,191 "Oh, we can't have people driving along that! 65 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,392 You might run into a pedestrian!" 66 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,360 RICHARD AND JAMES: It's a road! 67 00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:51,697 I know it is. And then you've got the A9. 68 00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:53,932 (JEERING) 69 00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:59,205 Ninety-nine miles of continuous average speed camera. 70 00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:01,640 - Ninety-nine? - Ninety-nine miles. 71 00:04:01,707 --> 00:04:04,276 Now, I'm sorry, you lot, I presume you're all petrolheads, yes? 72 00:04:04,343 --> 00:04:06,212 AUDIENCE: Yes! 73 00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,814 So let me ask you a question. 74 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,949 Dying in your beds, 75 00:04:11,016 --> 00:04:12,551 many years from now... 76 00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:14,386 (LAUGHTER) 77 00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:17,088 ...would you be willing to trade all the days, 78 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,758 from this day to that, 79 00:04:19,825 --> 00:04:21,227 for one chance, 80 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,795 just one chance, 81 00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:28,434 to come back and say to the Scottish Safety Camera Partnership, 82 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,769 "You can take our licences, 83 00:04:30,836 --> 00:04:33,038 but you can't take our freedom"? 84 00:04:33,104 --> 00:04:35,507 (CHEERING) 85 00:04:35,574 --> 00:04:37,576 AUDIENCE: (CHANTING) Freedom! Freedom! 86 00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:40,712 Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! 87 00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:42,714 RICHARD: Now look what you've done! 88 00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:44,983 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 89 00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,385 JEREMY: Thank you. 90 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,019 Look what you've done! 91 00:04:48,086 --> 00:04:49,655 - I know. - That's dangerous! 92 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,590 - I know. - Let's get on with the show. 93 00:04:51,657 --> 00:04:55,327 Yes. In tonight's car programme... 94 00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:58,497 An ant in a jar. 95 00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:01,467 A dog on a lead. 96 00:05:03,635 --> 00:05:05,871 And some beans on a table. 97 00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,507 But first, 98 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:09,741 when someone wants to buy 99 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:11,310 a large and very fast saloon car, 100 00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,379 they tend to buy German. 101 00:05:13,445 --> 00:05:16,415 They think there is no alternative. 102 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,284 But is there? 103 00:05:23,922 --> 00:05:28,159 This is the Lexus GS F. 104 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:33,432 And straight away, we can see that it isn't an especially handsome car. 105 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,001 And it's a Lexus, 106 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,604 which marks its owner out as a golf enthusiast 107 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:41,006 and possibly... a bore. 108 00:05:42,974 --> 00:05:44,410 And things are worse 109 00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:47,946 when you try to live with it for a while. 110 00:05:48,013 --> 00:05:51,016 The most annoying thing, apart from the buttons on the steering wheel, 111 00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:55,387 all of which seem to retune the radio to a station you don't like very much, 112 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:58,457 apart from that, every time you reach for 113 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,926 a can of zesty drink in the cup holder... 114 00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:04,195 I've done it again! 115 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,665 You can't help but nudge the mouse 116 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:09,835 which sets the destination on the satnav 117 00:06:09,901 --> 00:06:11,903 to where you are. 118 00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:14,340 SATNAV: In 300 yards, right turn. 119 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:17,042 I don't need to be told how to get here. 120 00:06:17,108 --> 00:06:18,577 I'm already here. 121 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,512 Next right, then right turn. 122 00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:23,782 Oh, God. Now it's trying to make me go back there a few yards. 123 00:06:23,849 --> 00:06:25,617 I was there! 124 00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:30,121 So, apart from a fiddly and annoying satnav... 125 00:06:30,188 --> 00:06:32,724 SATNAV: Next right, then right turn. 126 00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:36,362 JEREMY: ...what else do you get for your £70,000? 127 00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:41,032 Er... Not much, really. 128 00:06:41,099 --> 00:06:43,268 Er... You don't get Wi-Fi 129 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:45,837 or Apple CarPlay, or gesture control. 130 00:06:45,904 --> 00:06:49,541 You don't even get a DSG gearbox. 131 00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:51,977 Seats don't massage you as you drive along, 132 00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:53,645 it can't park itself. 133 00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:54,513 Erm... 134 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,182 But you do get a DVD player. 135 00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:59,685 And how 1996 is that? 136 00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:05,391 This car, then, is sparsely equipped and annoying. 137 00:07:05,457 --> 00:07:08,694 However, it's also rather good. 138 00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:20,005 First of all, there's the engine. 139 00:07:20,071 --> 00:07:24,142 BMW and Mercedes both use turbocharging 140 00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:25,711 to balance the need for power 141 00:07:25,777 --> 00:07:28,146 with the need for good emissions... 142 00:07:28,213 --> 00:07:30,416 but this doesn't. 143 00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:33,452 This mixes the fuel with the air, 144 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,054 and then, with no trickery at all, 145 00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:37,456 blows it up! 146 00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:45,464 Of course, that does mean 147 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,566 the GS F isn't very kind to animals. 148 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,101 And that's a bad thing, make no mistake. 149 00:07:53,171 --> 00:07:54,673 But on the upside, 150 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,975 listen to the noise it makes! 151 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,444 (ENGINE THRUMS) 152 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,450 At medium revs, it sounds baleful, 153 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,885 like a... lonely dog. 154 00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:12,624 But when you build the revs up, it sounds like what it is: 155 00:08:12,691 --> 00:08:16,728 a normally aspirated five-litre V8. 156 00:08:20,198 --> 00:08:24,970 It doesn't produce anything like the power or the torque 157 00:08:25,036 --> 00:08:27,773 you get from its turbocharged German rivals, 158 00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:29,808 but for sheer excitement... 159 00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:33,612 (SQUEAL OF TYRES) 160 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,081 It's like being tickled by a goddess. 161 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,054 And it's not exactly slow. 162 00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:54,132 It does 0-60 in four-and-a-half seconds. 163 00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:59,638 And flat out, it'll do nearly 170 miles an hour. 164 00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,875 And then there's the handling. 165 00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:10,749 It's hard to believe that this is a large 166 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,184 and extremely comfortable five-seater 167 00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:16,021 with a boot that's big enough for your golf bats 168 00:09:16,087 --> 00:09:19,224 and all your Freemasonry paraphernalia, 169 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:22,861 because... it feels like a sports car. 170 00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:28,634 You can change the way the car behaves 171 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,770 with various knobs here and buttons here, 172 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,872 but I've got everything turned off 173 00:09:33,939 --> 00:09:37,075 so I can get a feel for how the car behaves 174 00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:41,279 without an electronic safety blanket. 175 00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:42,848 And I like it! 176 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,202 Look at that. 177 00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,104 The steering's not brilliant at low speeds, 178 00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:08,674 but when you've got the arse hanging out like that... 179 00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,141 it's fantastic! 180 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:15,246 Yes! 181 00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:16,648 Time for another zesty drink. 182 00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:18,416 - (SATNAV BEEPS) - Oh, damn it! 183 00:10:18,483 --> 00:10:21,653 - SATNAV: In 300 yards... - I know where I am! 184 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,789 Next right. Then right turn. 185 00:10:23,855 --> 00:10:27,092 - (SATNAV BEEPS) - Oh, for God's sake! 186 00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:29,661 For living with on a day-to-day basis, 187 00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:32,130 German cars are far better. 188 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:37,168 But as a driving machine, and you may find this conclusion surprising... 189 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:40,772 I think the GS F has them licked. 190 00:10:50,315 --> 00:10:51,316 (CHEERING) 191 00:10:51,382 --> 00:10:52,818 Well, well. 192 00:10:52,884 --> 00:10:54,285 (MIMICS EXPLOSION) 193 00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:58,256 Now... 194 00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:03,461 Now, I should point out, there is a new BMW M5 coming later this year, 195 00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:05,764 but it'll have to go some to be better than that GS F. 196 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,633 - It really will. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 197 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:10,636 But exactly how many animals were harmed in the making of it? 198 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,238 - A lot! - One of them was a tortoise! 199 00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:15,473 I know. Let's gloss over that, OK? 200 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:19,778 And let's find out now how fast the Lexus goes round the Eboladrome. 201 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,748 And that, of course, means handing it over to a man 202 00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:26,718 who thinks that fruit is from the Soviet Union. 203 00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:28,654 - Yeah, it's the American. - (CHEERING) 204 00:11:31,222 --> 00:11:33,458 He's coiled and ready. 205 00:11:33,524 --> 00:11:35,026 And he's off! 206 00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:39,364 Unleashing all the 471 wailing horsepower 207 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:41,933 for the first sprint of the Isn't Straight. 208 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,803 What the hell does all this shit do in here? 209 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,739 All he needs is two pedals and a wheel 210 00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:50,341 to unleash the full shock and awe. 211 00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:52,143 Traction control? 212 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:55,313 If you want something with a mind of its own... 213 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,582 get a horse, get married. 214 00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,886 Fortunately, he doesn't need the electronic nannies. 215 00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:03,221 Pushing it hard up to Your Name Here, 216 00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:06,792 and now leaning on the mighty Brembo brakes. 217 00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:10,829 Gentle now, letting the torque-vectoring diff do its thing. 218 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,463 And then back on the throttle 219 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:16,702 so that mighty V8 can sing its song once more. 220 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,904 If they would have let me bring my gun, 221 00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:21,039 I'd have probably shot myself by now. 222 00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:23,942 And that would be a waste of great talent. 223 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:27,612 Right, another fast dash up the Isn't, 224 00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:31,216 and now shifting rapidly down the eight-speed automatic 225 00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:33,451 as he arrives at Old Lady's House. 226 00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:37,422 Feeding it precisely through there on this damp track, 227 00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:41,727 before opening it up for the broken surface down to Substation. 228 00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:45,463 Giving the fixed-rate dampers a good workout here. 229 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,398 Two corners left. 230 00:12:47,465 --> 00:12:49,067 Tidy through there. 231 00:12:49,134 --> 00:12:51,469 Just Field of Sheep to go. 232 00:12:51,536 --> 00:12:55,640 And he's right on the edge of the grip and across the line! 233 00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,943 (CHEERING) 234 00:12:58,009 --> 00:13:00,345 It did look good. It did look good. 235 00:13:00,411 --> 00:13:02,313 - It did look good. - How did it do? 236 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:03,915 A-ha! 237 00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:07,352 Well, now let's find out where it goes on the Lap Board. 238 00:13:07,418 --> 00:13:09,420 Remember, it was damp. 239 00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:10,488 Er... 240 00:13:10,555 --> 00:13:11,556 Oh... Oh. 241 00:13:11,622 --> 00:13:13,191 RICHARD: Oh, wow! Wow! 242 00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:16,194 So it's slower than an already-out-of-date BMW, 243 00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:18,363 it makes you look like a Freemason, 244 00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:20,431 and it causes animals to explode. 245 00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:22,667 Yes. Yes, but-- 246 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:24,870 Yes, but it's just another of your excellent recommendations, Jeremy. 247 00:13:24,936 --> 00:13:26,637 Thank you very much. Never mind. 248 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,406 Yes, thank you very much, indeed. 249 00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:30,141 And now we must move on, 250 00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:33,812 because it is time to set the satnav for destination chat, 251 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,882 as we head down Conversation Street. 252 00:13:36,948 --> 00:13:38,349 (MELLOW JAZZ) 253 00:13:40,418 --> 00:13:41,820 (LAUGHTER) 254 00:13:45,523 --> 00:13:49,160 (CHEERING) 255 00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:51,797 - It hurt. - That hurt? 256 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:56,401 - It hurt. - It did? But not as much as the wine bottle last week. 257 00:13:56,467 --> 00:14:00,505 Now, Mercedes, they've come up with this plan, or this idea, 258 00:14:00,571 --> 00:14:04,642 where you can rent your car out when you're not using it. 259 00:14:04,709 --> 00:14:06,945 Is that a bit like erm... Airbnb? 260 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,446 Exactly like Airbnb. 261 00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:11,249 The thing Mercedes haven't realised is that we, 262 00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:13,018 and I'm sure you all agree with me, 263 00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:15,386 we form an emotional bond with our car. 264 00:14:15,453 --> 00:14:16,621 - We're attached to them. - Exactly. 265 00:14:16,687 --> 00:14:18,023 So renting it to someone else 266 00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:19,891 would be like renting out your pet. 267 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,893 Yeah, or your penis. 268 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,631 - Yes. - I'm attached to it, I mean. That's what I mean. 269 00:14:26,697 --> 00:14:28,466 One would hope so, yeah. 270 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,735 You wouldn't want to see somebody else having fun with it. 271 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:33,972 - No, it's mine! - Exactly. Exactly. 272 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,741 And that's what I'm on about. Mercedes has obviously got it into its head, 273 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,710 and this really worries me, because it's a large car company, 274 00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:43,348 that cars are just tools, like microwave ovens or fridge freezers, 275 00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:46,317 that we'll just sort of gladly, "Borrow it. I don't really care." 276 00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:48,286 You're absolutely right. They are very emotional. 277 00:14:48,353 --> 00:14:51,122 Because you know if you have a car, eventually you sell it, 278 00:14:51,189 --> 00:14:54,625 but then you see somebody else driving around in it, that always feels bad. 279 00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:58,629 It's a bit like watching your ex-girlfriend do sex with someone else. 280 00:14:58,696 --> 00:15:00,698 (LAUGHTER) 281 00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:04,169 No. And after a terrible evening in a wardrobe, I know. 282 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,071 (LAUGHTER) 283 00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,873 It's strangely undermining. 284 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:12,510 I'm sorry to interrupt. See those circles in the lake just there? 285 00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:15,480 - Monster! Monster! It's a monster! - (LAUGHTER) 286 00:15:15,546 --> 00:15:19,584 - I just saw... Did anyone else see that? - Monster! Monster! 287 00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,619 It's real. I told you. 288 00:15:21,686 --> 00:15:24,722 Since we can't agree on this, is there a monster in the loch? 289 00:15:24,789 --> 00:15:26,391 AUDIENCE: Yes! 290 00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:29,227 Right, there you go. They live here, they would know. 291 00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:32,998 And if there were no monster, what would you do for a tourist industry up here? 292 00:15:33,064 --> 00:15:35,901 Sell tea towels without monsters on them. 293 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:38,569 No, I'm not having that, because what you're saying is, 294 00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:41,472 "Come to beautiful Scotland." As you've said, lovely roads, lovely scenery. 295 00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:43,408 There's a hotel, a beautiful lake. 296 00:15:43,474 --> 00:15:45,610 Why would they say, "Yeah, but there's a monster"? 297 00:15:45,676 --> 00:15:47,478 That would be like saying, "Come to Yorkshire. 298 00:15:47,545 --> 00:15:50,148 It's beautiful. We've got the plague, you know?" 299 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,450 - They they wouldn't do that. - We've got distracted a little bit. 300 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:55,186 - We have got a bit off-topic. - What were we talking about? 301 00:15:55,253 --> 00:15:57,923 We were talking about him hiding in a wardrobe, 302 00:15:57,923 --> 00:15:59,624 watching an ex-girlfriend have sex. 303 00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:02,660 - Yeah, that was an over-share. - It was a bit of an over-share. 304 00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:05,563 It was either that or he'd rented his penis out. I can't remember. 305 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,265 Something along those lines. 306 00:16:07,332 --> 00:16:09,834 But actually, there's a point I just want to make on this 307 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:12,370 about this emotional connection we have with our cars. 308 00:16:12,437 --> 00:16:15,406 Cos you know when you scrap a car? It really is very tragic. 309 00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:18,576 When you watch a car that's got all those shared memories going into the crusher. 310 00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:20,278 - It's the end of the road. - It is. 311 00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:22,413 There's this... a new organisation. 312 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,183 It's called Charity Car, where you can give your car to them, 313 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,119 they deal with all the paperwork and what have you and take your car away. 314 00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:32,523 Yeah? And then they give the money that they raised to a charity of your choice. 315 00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:35,093 - That's a nice idea. I like that. - It is a nice idea. 316 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,462 So that, you know, it's sad your old car's gone, 317 00:16:37,528 --> 00:16:41,566 but now... you know, a donkey can be rescued. 318 00:16:41,632 --> 00:16:44,835 And your car lives on in the smile of an abandoned donkey. 319 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,738 That's a beautiful thing. That's what we're about. 320 00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:50,875 - That's what this show is, it's all heart. - (LAUGHTER) 321 00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:54,745 - It's what we are. - Heart and road safety: those are the two pillars 322 00:16:54,812 --> 00:16:57,748 that underpin everything, really, on this show. 323 00:16:57,815 --> 00:16:59,550 - I've got some conversation for you. - Have you? 324 00:16:59,617 --> 00:17:01,987 Yes, which is that there's a website that tells you 325 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,688 how many of any given type of car 326 00:17:03,754 --> 00:17:06,992 are still left on the roads of Britain today, yes? 327 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,794 And I'm afraid we have some sad news. 328 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,662 Yeah, we do. This is a big worry. 329 00:17:11,729 --> 00:17:14,232 You remember the Citroën Saxo VTS, yeah? There it is. 330 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,134 JEREMY: The car of the angry yob. 331 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:19,304 RICHARD: It is the ideal car to nip out and steal a chainsaw in. 332 00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:22,407 A fabulous, proper, fizzy little hatchback. Loved it. 333 00:17:22,473 --> 00:17:25,543 Well, in 2008, there were 5,000 of them on the road. 334 00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:29,080 - This year, 491 left on the road. - See? 335 00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,249 And, in fact... I know, this is a worry. 336 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,618 Look, we've got a little chart. We've drawn this up. 337 00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:37,588 At that rate, by 2019, they'll all have gone. 338 00:17:37,655 --> 00:17:40,558 There's also the Vauxhall Calibra 16V. 339 00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,260 There's a picture. We used to love that. 340 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:46,697 Do you know, there are only 323 of those left, 341 00:17:46,764 --> 00:17:49,734 and they could be extinct within a year. 342 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,803 And what's interesting is there are people all over the world 343 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:57,375 working hard to save the tiger from extinction, 344 00:17:57,442 --> 00:17:59,044 but nobody is doing anything 345 00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,446 to save the Vauxhall Calibra 16V. 346 00:18:01,512 --> 00:18:03,581 - We've identified something here. - No, there isn't. 347 00:18:03,648 --> 00:18:06,951 However, there is some good news in all of this. The Morris Ital. 348 00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:10,688 175,000 of these... 349 00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:13,158 turds were made, 350 00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:15,793 were squeezed out by the Austin. 351 00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:21,366 And in 2015, there were only 35 left. 352 00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:24,502 - Yes! Now you can cheer! - (CHEERING) 353 00:18:24,569 --> 00:18:27,072 - That is good news. - It's good news. 354 00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,540 Only 35 on the road. 355 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:33,478 No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're absolutely right. 356 00:18:33,544 --> 00:18:38,383 But before you celebrate, yes, 35 left on the road in 2015. 357 00:18:38,449 --> 00:18:42,353 - Mm-hm. - In 2016... there were 47. 358 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,222 What, so they're going up? 359 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,125 - Are they mating? - No. No. 360 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,993 I think people are restoring them. 361 00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,162 - What people? - Mad people. 362 00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:53,798 Anyway, look... No, you're possibly right, but I've done a calculation. 363 00:18:53,864 --> 00:18:57,202 And at that rate... That's a 34% increase in just one year. 364 00:18:57,268 --> 00:19:00,438 And at that rate, by the year 2044, 365 00:19:00,505 --> 00:19:05,976 all 175,000 Morris Itals will be back on the road. 366 00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,745 - Oh, my God! - This is a disaster. 367 00:19:07,812 --> 00:19:10,715 It is. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Brexit. 368 00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:12,250 (LAUGHTER) 369 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,253 That's what they want: backwards with Britain. 370 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:19,124 It is time now, since we've reached the end of Conversation Street, 371 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,991 to select reverse and have a look at this. 372 00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:23,661 This is the Bentley Bentayga. 373 00:19:23,728 --> 00:19:27,365 A massive, luxurious, four-wheel-drive 374 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,567 SUV shooting brake. 375 00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:31,136 The question is, 376 00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:34,139 is it any good, or is it a load of... 377 00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:36,407 What's the word? 378 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,317 Well, to find out, James brought it here... 379 00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:48,186 to the German Alps. 380 00:19:51,055 --> 00:19:53,023 Right, I'll get straight to the point. 381 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:56,494 It is tremendous. 382 00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:59,364 The important thing to remember about this car is this. 383 00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:03,100 It's not an off-roader, it's not an SUV. 384 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:03,168 It's not an off-roader, it's not an SUV. First and foremost, it's a Bentley. 385 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:06,204 First and foremost, it's a Bentley. 386 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,872 That's what this car is about. 387 00:20:08,939 --> 00:20:11,209 I'm already loving it. 388 00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:15,713 But then... guess what? 389 00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,783 The problem is that a barebones Bentley 390 00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:22,086 costs £160,000, 391 00:20:22,153 --> 00:20:25,190 and for £12,000 less than that, 392 00:20:25,256 --> 00:20:26,491 you can have this. 393 00:20:28,926 --> 00:20:32,897 An all-singing, all-dancing, everything-fitted-as-standard 394 00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:35,700 5L supercharged Range Rover. 395 00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:40,938 Or, for £120,000 less than that, you can have this, 396 00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:42,773 the new Jaguar F-PACE. 397 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:48,513 And it's not like this thing is a garden shed. 398 00:20:48,579 --> 00:20:50,315 It's got loads of clever stuff on it. 399 00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:52,116 So if you're coming back from the shops 400 00:20:52,183 --> 00:20:53,751 with your arms full of heavy bags, 401 00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:56,221 you can open the boot with your foot. 402 00:20:56,287 --> 00:21:00,258 - Yeah, but I can do that with a Range Rover. - Yes, but it's £120,000 more! 403 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:03,528 - And you don't get one of these. Look. - What is it? 404 00:21:03,594 --> 00:21:06,431 It's a waterproof, go-anywhere bracelet 405 00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:09,300 that you use to lock... 406 00:21:09,367 --> 00:21:10,701 and unlock it, and start the engine, 407 00:21:10,768 --> 00:21:13,638 so you don't need to carry keys in your pocket. 408 00:21:13,704 --> 00:21:15,406 That... 409 00:21:15,473 --> 00:21:18,276 - That's actually quite a good idea. - I know, it's brilliant. 410 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:21,111 - How do you charge it up? - I don't know. Maybe it's like one of those watches. 411 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:22,280 (MUSIC BLARES) 412 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,949 - (LAUGHS) Oh, hello. - Oh. 413 00:21:25,015 --> 00:21:26,951 JEREMY: Puff Daddy is arriving. 414 00:21:27,017 --> 00:21:29,620 - Do you think he's wearing a chain? - (LAUGHS) 415 00:21:29,687 --> 00:21:32,557 You know, that thing costs four times more than the Jag. 416 00:21:32,623 --> 00:21:34,992 And it's not like the badges are that different. 417 00:21:35,059 --> 00:21:38,496 That Jag is... a car. 418 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,698 This is more of a statement. 419 00:21:40,765 --> 00:21:42,400 This is a new way of understanding 420 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,634 the condition of being human. 421 00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:45,370 It is the last word in luxury. 422 00:21:45,436 --> 00:21:47,338 RICHARD: It's a very expensive statement, though. 423 00:21:47,405 --> 00:21:50,675 I mean, if you've got the money to buy that, you could buy the Jag 424 00:21:50,741 --> 00:21:53,944 and still have £130,000 to spend on a PR agent 425 00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:56,681 to put you on breakfast TV talking about how great you are. 426 00:21:56,747 --> 00:21:58,816 It costs £130,000 more for a reason. 427 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,051 Jags are for deluded middle-aged men 428 00:22:01,118 --> 00:22:03,654 who entertain tragic fantasies about being Lotharios. 429 00:22:03,721 --> 00:22:05,756 I know, I've had four of them! 430 00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:08,293 If you're talking about brands with delusion - hello! 431 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,094 - Bentley, that's what it is. - Guys. 432 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,298 - What? - We are not gonna sort this out in a car park. 433 00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,733 We need to go for a drive, 434 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,504 and I have worked out a route on this map here, OK? 435 00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:22,773 We are in the village of... Wank, 436 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:27,312 and we'll go from... Wank to Kissing, 437 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:29,314 then on to Petting. 438 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,516 Then... this place. 439 00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:34,385 And then... Wedding. 440 00:22:34,452 --> 00:22:37,788 So, Wank, Kissing, Petting, (BLEEP), Wedding. 441 00:22:37,855 --> 00:22:43,594 Yes. It'll be a journey through life without leaving Central Europe. 442 00:22:43,661 --> 00:22:45,630 Yeah, it will. Let's do it. 443 00:22:45,696 --> 00:22:47,498 RICHARD: Very excited, 444 00:22:47,565 --> 00:22:52,403 we set off on what the Germans call the Romantic Road. 445 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,876 So, we are leaving the town of Wank. 446 00:22:58,943 --> 00:23:01,145 What's that? "Thank you for..." 447 00:23:01,211 --> 00:23:02,847 What? Oh, yeah. 448 00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:09,454 And after just a few minutes, 449 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,723 something very unusual happened. 450 00:23:14,158 --> 00:23:15,593 Guys... 451 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,595 I can't think of anything to say. 452 00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:20,264 What a relief. 453 00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:21,932 No, but I really can't, 454 00:23:21,999 --> 00:23:26,170 because if you want a large, luxury off-roader, 455 00:23:26,236 --> 00:23:27,705 you buy a Range Rover. 456 00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:28,939 The end. 457 00:23:29,006 --> 00:23:30,941 The end, move on. 458 00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:34,712 RICHARD: James, however, 459 00:23:34,779 --> 00:23:38,449 had lots to say about his Bentayga. 460 00:23:38,516 --> 00:23:39,850 Hey, chaps, did you know 461 00:23:39,917 --> 00:23:43,554 the stereo in my car has got 18 speakers? 462 00:23:43,621 --> 00:23:46,524 Is that all? Mine's got 27. 463 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:48,426 Yeah, all playing rubbish. 464 00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:51,529 Thanks, Hammond. 465 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,698 Actually, 27 speakers is not the point. 466 00:23:53,764 --> 00:23:58,636 My car stereo produces 1,950W, 467 00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:02,473 making it the most powerful stereo ever put in a car. 468 00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:07,645 In fact, it's about the only thing in here that does make a noise. 469 00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:11,882 This is a little bit like driving along in the British Library. 470 00:24:11,949 --> 00:24:14,619 It's very quiet, it's very refined. 471 00:24:14,685 --> 00:24:17,688 The carpets are very thick. 472 00:24:17,755 --> 00:24:20,257 Which means you simply aren't ready for what happens 473 00:24:20,324 --> 00:24:22,460 when you put your foot down. 474 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:27,598 Whoa! 475 00:24:27,665 --> 00:24:32,970 So this has an all-new W12 600-horsepower engine, 476 00:24:33,037 --> 00:24:36,807 and it's like being in a leather-trimmed volcanic eruption. 477 00:24:38,042 --> 00:24:40,711 It doesn't accelerate, it goes off. 478 00:24:44,081 --> 00:24:46,216 Bloody Nora! 479 00:24:46,283 --> 00:24:51,622 Sadly, at this point, Jeremy thought of something to say. 480 00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:53,458 See that? That's the prison 481 00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:55,926 where Hitler wrote Mein Kampf. 482 00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:00,798 Yeah. Where are you going with that? 483 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,335 Nowhere, really. 484 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:08,005 Just thought you might like to know. 485 00:25:08,072 --> 00:25:11,308 Good. Let's get back to the cars. 486 00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:14,579 Now, you might be thinking that because Jaguar is owned by the same company 487 00:25:14,645 --> 00:25:19,617 that own Land Rover, this is just a Freelander with a Jaguar badge on it, 488 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:20,951 but it's not. 489 00:25:22,286 --> 00:25:24,789 Underneath is the same basic aluminium structure 490 00:25:24,855 --> 00:25:26,924 you find under a Jaguar XE, 491 00:25:26,991 --> 00:25:30,761 which is a fantastic car, so that's good. 492 00:25:30,828 --> 00:25:33,531 I do only get a 3L supercharged V6, 493 00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:36,701 which means 375 brake horsepower. 494 00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:41,071 That's 225 less than James's, let's be honest, 495 00:25:41,138 --> 00:25:42,740 leather-lined Audi Q7. 496 00:25:43,741 --> 00:25:45,510 But this is light, 497 00:25:45,576 --> 00:25:47,645 so it ain't no slouch. 498 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:50,214 (TYRES SQUEAL) 499 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,216 I like the way this thing handles itself. 500 00:25:52,282 --> 00:25:54,519 I like the way, when you change direction, 501 00:25:54,585 --> 00:25:56,587 when you turn, it controls its weight, 502 00:25:56,654 --> 00:25:58,756 what there is of it, across the axles. 503 00:25:58,823 --> 00:26:02,159 That makes it feel nimble, eager. 504 00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:06,196 It doesn't feel like I'm sitting in a stately home falling off a cliff. 505 00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:12,537 Soon, James was in my way. 506 00:26:14,238 --> 00:26:16,040 Oh, look. 507 00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:18,909 James, you should be where I am. You can see Buckingham Palace and... 508 00:26:18,976 --> 00:26:21,311 Oh, no, it's the back of your car. 509 00:26:21,378 --> 00:26:25,750 I like it when my man is following me. Do you have the luggage for the weekend? 510 00:26:28,318 --> 00:26:30,555 Come on, James. 511 00:26:30,555 --> 00:26:34,224 You might have all the horsepower in the world, but you are in the way. 512 00:26:37,928 --> 00:26:39,830 Stay with that, Birmingham boy. 513 00:26:48,138 --> 00:26:52,042 James, are you worried all your furniture will slide about if you go any faster? 514 00:26:57,347 --> 00:26:58,983 Oh, tunnel. 515 00:26:59,049 --> 00:27:01,318 Excellent. I have important work to do. 516 00:27:01,385 --> 00:27:02,787 (CACOPHONOUS REVVING) 517 00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:09,860 (LAUGHS) 518 00:27:09,927 --> 00:27:13,598 Honestly, the plebs make such a noise about everything. 519 00:27:13,664 --> 00:27:15,866 RICHARD: That is putting the S back in SUV. 520 00:27:15,933 --> 00:27:18,903 This is a sporty sports-utility vehicle. 521 00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:23,307 And the sport is not fishing. 522 00:27:23,373 --> 00:27:26,744 RICHARD: Sadly, our playtime was then interrupted 523 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:29,113 by a worrying call from Clarkson. 524 00:27:29,179 --> 00:27:33,784 JEREMY: Erm... guys, we've had a text from Mr Wilman. 525 00:27:33,851 --> 00:27:36,520 Oh, God. What does it say? 526 00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:40,057 JEREMY: It said that to sort out the performance differences, 527 00:27:40,124 --> 00:27:42,259 we should go to a nearby airstrip, 528 00:27:42,326 --> 00:27:45,029 where he'd laid on some competition. 529 00:27:46,496 --> 00:27:47,798 So we did. 530 00:27:55,272 --> 00:27:58,342 Chaps, this is what we're up against. 531 00:27:58,408 --> 00:28:01,445 BMW X5 M. 532 00:28:01,511 --> 00:28:04,915 4.4L, twin-turbocharged, 567 horsepower. 533 00:28:04,982 --> 00:28:07,251 That is fairly serious competition. 534 00:28:07,317 --> 00:28:11,255 If you think about it, it's gonna be Britain versus Germany. 535 00:28:11,321 --> 00:28:14,892 Well, not really. Your two cars are Indian and mine's German as well. 536 00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:17,061 All right, it's gonna be India versus Germany, 537 00:28:17,127 --> 00:28:21,131 and I shall be victorious in my mighty lighty Jaguar. 538 00:28:21,198 --> 00:28:23,500 - JAMES: Right. - JEREMY: Well, you see, you won't be. 539 00:28:23,567 --> 00:28:25,670 Not in a million years. 540 00:28:33,177 --> 00:28:35,713 Sorry about wasting your time with this race. 541 00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:40,851 You could launch a car that does a million miles an hour 542 00:28:40,918 --> 00:28:42,887 and costs 8p and runs on water, 543 00:28:42,953 --> 00:28:45,489 and people would still buy Range Rovers, 544 00:28:45,555 --> 00:28:48,893 because why would you not? 545 00:28:48,959 --> 00:28:51,729 RICHARD: OK, air-conditioning is off. 546 00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:56,266 It's in dynamic mode, gearbox is in sport. 547 00:28:56,333 --> 00:28:58,402 Come on, little Jag. 548 00:28:58,468 --> 00:29:01,338 So I'm not really worried about Pinky and Perky's challenge, 549 00:29:01,405 --> 00:29:03,708 but the BMW does worry me. 550 00:29:03,741 --> 00:29:07,778 Almost as much power, very obviously lighter. 551 00:29:07,845 --> 00:29:09,914 A lot of well-to-do people in Britain 552 00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:12,016 will want to know the result of this race 553 00:29:12,082 --> 00:29:14,819 before they choose what colour Range Rover they'd like 554 00:29:14,885 --> 00:29:17,187 for next year's shooting season. 555 00:29:17,254 --> 00:29:18,723 (REVVING) 556 00:29:39,109 --> 00:29:40,878 Where's the Bentley gone? 557 00:29:43,113 --> 00:29:43,914 (WHISTLES) 558 00:29:43,981 --> 00:29:45,349 I'm losing, everybody. 559 00:29:47,752 --> 00:29:49,754 Come on! 560 00:29:49,787 --> 00:29:51,155 150... Oh, no! 561 00:29:51,221 --> 00:29:53,758 Oh, no! Where is he getting that from? 562 00:29:55,325 --> 00:29:56,761 Easy. 563 00:30:01,899 --> 00:30:05,102 Last. Stone-dead last. 564 00:30:06,771 --> 00:30:08,072 Bugger it. 565 00:30:09,706 --> 00:30:11,208 Yes, yes. Well done, James. 566 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:14,078 Oh, who knew, if you spend four times as much on a car, 567 00:30:14,144 --> 00:30:16,413 you get one that's a tiny bit faster than another? 568 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,817 Ssh! You two just haven't got the message, have you? 569 00:30:19,884 --> 00:30:23,187 - What, that you lost? - Yeah. Well... 570 00:30:23,253 --> 00:30:25,856 No, the message is very clear. Underpants, OK? 571 00:30:25,923 --> 00:30:28,592 You can buy a cheap pair from a market stall, 572 00:30:28,658 --> 00:30:32,296 or you can buy an expensive pair with gold thread in them, 573 00:30:32,362 --> 00:30:36,000 or you can do what everyone does, you go to Marks & Spencer's. 574 00:30:36,066 --> 00:30:38,135 Marks & Spencer's, if you're watching this not in the UK, 575 00:30:38,202 --> 00:30:40,437 is where we all buy our pants from. 576 00:30:40,504 --> 00:30:41,906 Well, I don't. 577 00:30:45,242 --> 00:30:48,045 JEREMY: After the race, we resumed our journey, 578 00:30:48,112 --> 00:30:52,149 and Richard and James resumed their bickering. 579 00:30:52,216 --> 00:30:56,586 JAMES OVER RADIO: What does F-PACE mean? It sounds like a domestic cleaning product. 580 00:30:56,653 --> 00:30:59,589 I think your Bentley would look better with alabaster lions 581 00:30:59,656 --> 00:31:01,758 instead of door mirrors. 582 00:31:01,826 --> 00:31:05,362 I was going to ask if the glovebox is permanently locked shut in the Jag, 583 00:31:05,429 --> 00:31:07,497 because that's where you keep your wallet. 584 00:31:07,564 --> 00:31:10,434 RICHARD OVER RADIO: The front of your Bentley looks silly. 585 00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:12,136 It just looks a bit daft. 586 00:31:12,202 --> 00:31:16,006 And why was it you didn't get Brian Sewell's old job? 587 00:31:16,073 --> 00:31:18,843 Does the options list for your Bentley Bentayga 588 00:31:18,876 --> 00:31:22,913 include oil paintings of imaginary ancestors? 589 00:31:22,980 --> 00:31:25,349 I apologise for the noises these two are making. 590 00:31:25,415 --> 00:31:27,584 I realise you're all sitting at home going, 591 00:31:27,651 --> 00:31:31,989 "What are they on about? I just want the Range Rover." Of course you do. 592 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:36,060 The only reason you'd buy the Bentley is cos your hip-hop record's gone to number one, 593 00:31:36,126 --> 00:31:40,330 and the only reason you'd buy the Jag is cos you can't afford a Range Rover. 594 00:31:42,732 --> 00:31:46,871 RICHARD: Since Jeremy had brought up the subject of money... 595 00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:51,741 I don't know how they can sell you one of these for from 34 grand. 596 00:31:51,876 --> 00:31:53,343 And this one, with everything on it, 597 00:31:53,410 --> 00:31:56,180 quite apart from a V6 supercharged engine, 598 00:31:56,246 --> 00:31:58,782 it's got leather everything, iPhone connectivity, 599 00:31:58,883 --> 00:32:02,987 radar-distance control, voice control, electric boot, 600 00:32:03,053 --> 00:32:04,889 magic key you wear on your wrist. 601 00:32:04,889 --> 00:32:08,225 All of that still only costs 51 grand. How do they do that? 602 00:32:08,292 --> 00:32:13,030 Next to everything else, it suddenly looks like the bargain of the century. 603 00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,933 OVER RADIO: Jeremy, this car is better than yours. 604 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,736 (SIGHS) Well, now, it just isn't, is it? 605 00:32:19,803 --> 00:32:22,272 You're being a... What's the word? 606 00:32:29,313 --> 00:32:32,116 We then flashed through the village of Kissing, 607 00:32:32,182 --> 00:32:34,551 getting it over with as quickly as possible. 608 00:32:36,386 --> 00:32:38,588 Then we went through Petting. 609 00:32:38,655 --> 00:32:41,758 And to make sure we reached erm... 610 00:32:41,825 --> 00:32:44,094 third base before bedtime, 611 00:32:44,161 --> 00:32:47,297 we decided to set our satnavs. 612 00:32:47,364 --> 00:32:50,700 SATNAV: Please name the country. 613 00:32:50,767 --> 00:32:52,202 JAMES: Austria. 614 00:32:52,269 --> 00:32:53,603 SATNAV: Please name the city. 615 00:32:54,671 --> 00:32:56,540 Foo-cking. 616 00:32:58,075 --> 00:32:59,276 SATNAV: Excuse me? 617 00:32:59,343 --> 00:33:02,046 (BEEPS) 618 00:33:02,112 --> 00:33:03,613 (MUTTERS PLACE NAME UNDER BREATH) 619 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,382 SATNAV: Sorry? 620 00:33:05,449 --> 00:33:07,417 - (SATNAV BEEPS) - (MUTTERS PLACE NAME UNDER BREATH) 621 00:33:07,484 --> 00:33:09,419 (MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH) 622 00:33:09,486 --> 00:33:11,255 SATNAV: Sorry? 623 00:33:11,321 --> 00:33:14,524 SATNAV: Is your destination Selking? 624 00:33:14,591 --> 00:33:18,095 No. Foo-cking. 625 00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:22,366 SATNAV: Kraking has been accepted. Which street should I select? 626 00:33:22,432 --> 00:33:23,968 (MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH) 627 00:33:25,535 --> 00:33:27,104 SATNAV: Sorry? 628 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:30,507 I can't say it. People are listening. 629 00:33:30,574 --> 00:33:33,543 - (MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH) - SATNAV: Sorry? 630 00:33:33,610 --> 00:33:36,113 Thankfully, Hammond had decided to program 631 00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:39,383 his bargain-basement system manually. 632 00:33:40,584 --> 00:33:42,286 F. 633 00:33:42,352 --> 00:33:43,320 U. 634 00:33:44,621 --> 00:33:46,490 (MUMBLES) 635 00:33:46,556 --> 00:33:47,557 K. 636 00:33:47,624 --> 00:33:49,626 (LAUGHS) 637 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,763 It's gone in! 638 00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:58,302 RICHARD: And soon, we crossed the border into Austria. 639 00:33:58,368 --> 00:34:01,038 It's very, very pretty, Austria. 640 00:34:02,406 --> 00:34:05,342 No idea why Hitler was in such a bad mood. 641 00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:10,514 Eventually, we arrived... 642 00:34:10,580 --> 00:34:12,016 erm... 643 00:34:12,016 --> 00:34:14,318 here. 644 00:34:14,384 --> 00:34:17,521 So is this the climax of this stage of our journey? 645 00:34:17,587 --> 00:34:19,923 JEREMY: Is it all it's cracked up to be? 646 00:34:20,024 --> 00:34:22,026 That's what I want to know. 647 00:34:22,026 --> 00:34:25,662 Cos often it can be a disappointment, the first time you go there. 648 00:34:25,729 --> 00:34:28,565 The first time I came here, I couldn't find the way in. 649 00:34:28,632 --> 00:34:30,367 (LAUGHS) 650 00:34:31,501 --> 00:34:33,037 JEREMY: Once we'd arrived in... 651 00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:35,172 (MUMBLES) 652 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:36,873 ...James was very keen 653 00:34:36,940 --> 00:34:41,278 we should get in the back of his Bentley. 654 00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:45,149 What's really incongruous about this is that you're very obviously in a Bentley. 655 00:34:45,215 --> 00:34:47,084 All this looks very Bentley, 656 00:34:47,151 --> 00:34:50,487 until you look down here and see these symbols on this control knob, 657 00:34:50,554 --> 00:34:53,257 and it's very obviously a serious off-roader. 658 00:34:53,323 --> 00:34:54,691 Oh, what, those symbols? 659 00:34:54,758 --> 00:34:56,160 So you can set it for 660 00:34:56,226 --> 00:34:58,928 swamp, minefield, Christmas or Mexico? Nice. 661 00:34:59,063 --> 00:35:01,531 - Yes, Hammond. - Shall I tell you something interesting about the wood, 662 00:35:01,598 --> 00:35:03,300 or one of the woods you can have in this? 663 00:35:03,367 --> 00:35:06,503 It only grows on a cliff face in Asia, 664 00:35:06,570 --> 00:35:10,407 and the way they get it is they have to abseil down it with their woodworking tools. 665 00:35:10,474 --> 00:35:14,211 Why don't they just use wood from a tree that grows in a field? 666 00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:16,280 Is everything standard in here? 667 00:35:16,346 --> 00:35:17,514 - No. - No? 668 00:35:17,581 --> 00:35:20,317 - No. - So how much is this car? 669 00:35:20,384 --> 00:35:21,585 - This particular one? - Yes. 670 00:35:21,651 --> 00:35:24,421 - Is 212,000 and something. - What? 671 00:35:24,488 --> 00:35:27,557 So that means the extras in this car 672 00:35:27,624 --> 00:35:31,661 cost more than Hammond's entire Jaguar? 673 00:35:31,728 --> 00:35:33,930 - How much is your Jag? - About the same. 674 00:35:33,997 --> 00:35:37,167 - What, that Jag with all the extras? - That is £51,450. 675 00:35:37,234 --> 00:35:40,937 And this has got £52,000 worth of extras in it? 676 00:35:41,004 --> 00:35:45,275 It's just a little bit more on extras than the entire Jag. 677 00:35:45,342 --> 00:35:47,377 It's great... value. 678 00:35:47,444 --> 00:35:49,813 - JEREMY: Can I just say, James... - Yes, do. 679 00:35:51,615 --> 00:35:53,850 ...I do quite like the interior of this car. 680 00:35:53,917 --> 00:35:56,620 No, I do. I'll be honest. I like the quilted leather, 681 00:35:56,686 --> 00:36:00,457 I like the wood that comes from a cliff and all of that. 682 00:36:00,524 --> 00:36:02,926 But the exterior, I'm sorry, it's hideous. 683 00:36:02,992 --> 00:36:05,895 - Ugly. Pig ugly. - Yeah, well, hang on a minute. 684 00:36:05,962 --> 00:36:09,233 Because, do you remember, and it is a long time ago, 685 00:36:09,299 --> 00:36:11,000 when the Continental GT first came out, 686 00:36:11,135 --> 00:36:12,336 we all thought that was hideous... 687 00:36:12,402 --> 00:36:14,604 - It was. - ...and now we all love it. 688 00:36:14,671 --> 00:36:16,640 - It's one of the few things we agree on. - Yes. Yes, that's true. 689 00:36:16,706 --> 00:36:18,775 But I think this is more like you. 690 00:36:18,842 --> 00:36:22,045 When I first met you, I thought you were ugly. 691 00:36:22,146 --> 00:36:24,514 And now I still think you're ugly. 692 00:36:24,581 --> 00:36:27,217 A crushing criticism from one so handsome. 693 00:36:32,189 --> 00:36:34,624 - JEREMY: James? - What? 694 00:36:34,691 --> 00:36:35,859 Unlock the doors. 695 00:36:38,228 --> 00:36:39,829 James, please unlock the doors. 696 00:36:41,298 --> 00:36:43,467 We're in... this place. 697 00:36:43,533 --> 00:36:45,402 RICHARD: In the back of a car, 698 00:36:46,303 --> 00:36:47,471 together. 699 00:36:49,673 --> 00:36:51,775 (CHEERING) 700 00:36:51,841 --> 00:36:54,478 It is remarkable, isn't it? All those places... 701 00:36:54,544 --> 00:36:57,181 I'm sure... All those place names are real. 702 00:36:57,181 --> 00:36:59,883 - They are real. Yeah, real places. - They really are. 703 00:36:59,949 --> 00:37:02,486 Those place names are real. 704 00:37:02,552 --> 00:37:05,355 Anyway, we'll pick up that pointless test later on. 705 00:37:05,422 --> 00:37:07,257 - It's not pointless! - Yes, it is. 706 00:37:07,324 --> 00:37:09,659 I already explained it perfectly well with the underpants thing. 707 00:37:09,726 --> 00:37:13,096 And I shall be explaining using more demonstrations later on. 708 00:37:13,197 --> 00:37:15,965 - Oh, good. - But now it is time 709 00:37:16,032 --> 00:37:18,101 for Celebrity Brain Crash! 710 00:37:18,202 --> 00:37:19,469 (CHEERING) 711 00:37:25,242 --> 00:37:26,810 (CHEERING) 712 00:37:26,876 --> 00:37:29,913 Now, our guest... 713 00:37:29,979 --> 00:37:31,581 our guest today, 714 00:37:31,648 --> 00:37:33,817 he directed Batman, Planet Of The Apes, 715 00:37:33,883 --> 00:37:35,219 Edward Scissorhands. 716 00:37:35,252 --> 00:37:38,121 And, after last week's mine disaster, 717 00:37:38,222 --> 00:37:42,459 he's decided to come to the studio underneath the mines 718 00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:44,461 in a miniature submarine. 719 00:37:44,528 --> 00:37:47,731 Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Burton! 720 00:37:47,797 --> 00:37:49,633 (CHEERING) 721 00:37:49,699 --> 00:37:52,402 Here is the submarine. There he is, 722 00:37:52,469 --> 00:37:55,239 sneaking underneath the mines. 723 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,107 - RICHARD: Clever. - JEREMY: As he heads cleverly towards us. 724 00:37:58,242 --> 00:38:01,010 - He's out there somewhere. - He's out there somewhere. This is fantastic. 725 00:38:01,077 --> 00:38:03,513 - What are we gonna talk to him about? - There's so much. 726 00:38:03,580 --> 00:38:06,250 - What do you want to ask him? - JAMES: About The Nightmare Before Christmas. 727 00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:08,252 It's my favourite Christmas film. 728 00:38:08,318 --> 00:38:11,455 JEREMY: Is it? I want to know what it's like to work with Johnny Depp. 729 00:38:11,521 --> 00:38:13,823 RICHARD: Yeah, there's a lot to talk to him about. 730 00:38:13,890 --> 00:38:15,959 JEREMY: Oh, hello. 731 00:38:16,025 --> 00:38:19,396 We've lost the feed somehow from the sub. 732 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:21,265 Oh, God Almight... Oh, my God! 733 00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:23,767 - (LAUGHTER) - RICHARD: Oh, no! 734 00:38:25,001 --> 00:38:27,271 Oh! 735 00:38:27,337 --> 00:38:31,375 There's obviously been a catastrophic failure with the submarine. 736 00:38:31,441 --> 00:38:34,744 - No idea what could have caused it. - The monster's bitten it! 737 00:38:34,811 --> 00:38:36,646 (LAUGHTER) 738 00:38:36,713 --> 00:38:38,782 For the hundredth time, Hammond, 739 00:38:38,848 --> 00:38:42,286 there is no such thing as the Loch Ness Monster. 740 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,788 (LAUGHTER) 741 00:38:44,854 --> 00:38:47,291 - Does that mean he's not coming on, then? - (LAUGHTER) 742 00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:50,794 Well, James, his lungs have filled with icy water, he's sunk to the bottom, 743 00:38:50,860 --> 00:38:54,298 and his body is being compressed to the size of a Ping-Pong ball. 744 00:38:54,331 --> 00:38:55,765 So that is a no. 745 00:38:55,832 --> 00:38:59,035 It's OK, though, because we have a back-up plan. 746 00:38:59,102 --> 00:39:00,870 - Do we? - Yes. (MUTTERS) 747 00:39:00,937 --> 00:39:03,006 You see, the thing is, these days, 748 00:39:03,072 --> 00:39:06,576 - a lot of performance cars have launch control. - Ah, yes. Yes. 749 00:39:06,643 --> 00:39:10,480 The way it works is you put your foot on the throttle and brake at the same time, 750 00:39:10,547 --> 00:39:14,484 and the car's computer works out exactly how many revs you need 751 00:39:14,551 --> 00:39:17,020 and exactly how much wheelspin to give the car 752 00:39:17,086 --> 00:39:19,155 so that you get an absolutely perfect start 753 00:39:19,222 --> 00:39:21,458 as soon as you just take your foot off the brake. 754 00:39:21,525 --> 00:39:24,928 Yeah, and we were wondering, just when exactly can you use that? 755 00:39:24,994 --> 00:39:27,464 If you're in a town centre at a set of lights going... 756 00:39:27,531 --> 00:39:29,666 (IMITATES REVVING ENGINE) 757 00:39:29,733 --> 00:39:31,335 - Know what I mean? - It's a bit rude. 758 00:39:31,335 --> 00:39:34,338 It is, as this short film explains. 759 00:39:38,475 --> 00:39:39,776 (REVVING) 760 00:39:49,185 --> 00:39:52,188 Coconut-milk latte with a caramel shot, please. 761 00:39:52,255 --> 00:39:54,724 - OK, a coconut-milk latte with a caramel-- - (REVVING) 762 00:40:00,096 --> 00:40:01,398 (REVVING) 763 00:40:15,879 --> 00:40:16,980 (REVVING) 764 00:40:24,153 --> 00:40:25,455 (REVVING) 765 00:40:32,662 --> 00:40:34,063 (CHURCH BELL TOLLS) 766 00:40:52,449 --> 00:40:53,750 (REVVING) 767 00:41:01,858 --> 00:41:02,959 (CHEERING) 768 00:41:04,494 --> 00:41:06,596 - What is it for? - Pointless. 769 00:41:08,732 --> 00:41:10,800 The thing is, you can't... 770 00:41:10,867 --> 00:41:13,670 you can't even use launch control on a race track, 771 00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:16,873 because you can only engage it for three or four seconds before it cuts out. 772 00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:19,876 And because you don't know when the lights are gonna go green, 773 00:41:19,943 --> 00:41:22,446 you don't know when your three seconds start, do you? 774 00:41:22,512 --> 00:41:23,913 Exactly, which is why we have decided 775 00:41:23,980 --> 00:41:27,116 it is the most pointless invention ever. 776 00:41:27,183 --> 00:41:29,052 Yes, and talking of pointless, 777 00:41:29,118 --> 00:41:31,054 let's get back to our film. 778 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,758 Er... We're road-testing a Range Rover and some other cars. 779 00:41:34,824 --> 00:41:38,194 We began in the German village of Wank, 780 00:41:38,261 --> 00:41:41,097 and the plan was to go through Kissing and Petting 781 00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,767 towards Wedding, which was our destination. 782 00:41:43,833 --> 00:41:48,104 Yes, and we pick up the action having decided to spend the night in Fu-- 783 00:41:52,476 --> 00:41:56,780 We woke the next morning in this dew-kissed village. 784 00:41:58,815 --> 00:42:01,384 And over a rather awkward breakfast, 785 00:42:01,485 --> 00:42:03,720 Clarkson made an announcement. 786 00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:11,561 I don't mean to be hurtful or disrespectful, 787 00:42:11,628 --> 00:42:13,897 but erm... 788 00:42:13,963 --> 00:42:16,399 - Go on, spit it out. - Well, it's... 789 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,167 just because we've been here, 790 00:42:18,234 --> 00:42:21,505 doesn't mean we necessarily have to go on to Wedding. 791 00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:22,706 Aw! 792 00:42:22,772 --> 00:42:26,309 It's me, it's not you. 793 00:42:26,375 --> 00:42:29,746 No, he's right. It's been going so well. 794 00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:31,548 And if we go on to Wedding, 795 00:42:31,615 --> 00:42:35,151 we'll have to carry on and on and on, 796 00:42:35,218 --> 00:42:38,421 through Routine, Boredom, 797 00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,257 Resentment, Spare Bedroom, 798 00:42:41,324 --> 00:42:43,292 Temptation, Affair, 799 00:42:43,359 --> 00:42:46,630 Discovery, Remorse, Revenge, 800 00:42:46,696 --> 00:42:49,065 Divorce, and then it's Death. 801 00:42:49,132 --> 00:42:52,869 Or you could turn off through Online Dating, 802 00:42:52,936 --> 00:42:55,539 Meaningless Sex, Bottomless Regret, 803 00:42:55,572 --> 00:42:57,974 Financial Ruination, and then Heart Attack. 804 00:42:58,041 --> 00:43:00,309 And then you end up at Death anyway. 805 00:43:00,376 --> 00:43:03,580 Exactly, Hammond. And that's why I'm suggesting 806 00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:06,950 that instead of going to... Wedding, 807 00:43:07,016 --> 00:43:08,885 we go to the Nürburgring. 808 00:43:08,952 --> 00:43:10,854 (GROANS) 809 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,724 JEREMY: Because James's car was the only one that spoke German, 810 00:43:14,791 --> 00:43:16,760 he set the satnav. 811 00:43:16,826 --> 00:43:20,096 Ziel eingeben: Nürburgring. 812 00:43:20,163 --> 00:43:23,667 - (SATNAV CHIMES) - JEREMY: And then we set off. 813 00:43:30,273 --> 00:43:32,475 Soon, we were on Germany's Autobahns, 814 00:43:32,576 --> 00:43:37,581 which got us thinking about how sensible they are. 815 00:43:37,647 --> 00:43:39,949 And here we are on the Autobahn. 816 00:43:40,016 --> 00:43:41,417 No speed limits. 817 00:43:41,484 --> 00:43:43,687 Is it chaos? No. 818 00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:46,956 If you remove the speed limits, 819 00:43:47,023 --> 00:43:51,728 people don't all suddenly drive into bridge supports at 200 miles an hour. 820 00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:56,600 We're not that stupid. Just as if you leave the gate unlocked 821 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,267 at the lion closure at a safari park, 822 00:43:58,334 --> 00:44:01,204 we don't all run in and have a picnic. 823 00:44:03,206 --> 00:44:08,678 In the last 15 years, Britain's economy has grown by 58%, 824 00:44:08,745 --> 00:44:12,281 whereas Germany's has grown by 102%. 825 00:44:12,348 --> 00:44:16,986 And that's because we're all doing 20 miles an hour and they're doing 200. 826 00:44:18,054 --> 00:44:20,757 Speed is good for business, 827 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:23,392 and it saves lives as well. 828 00:44:23,459 --> 00:44:25,829 Because when we drive down the motorway in Britain, 829 00:44:25,895 --> 00:44:28,665 we're looking at all the gantries to see if they have speed cameras, 830 00:44:28,732 --> 00:44:32,969 or we're looking at our speedometers to make sure we're not breaking the limit. 831 00:44:33,036 --> 00:44:35,238 We're not looking where we're going. 832 00:44:35,304 --> 00:44:39,042 Heavily enforced speed limits kill people. 833 00:44:40,710 --> 00:44:42,445 The Autobahn also got us thinking 834 00:44:42,511 --> 00:44:46,850 about how times have changed on the SUV front. 835 00:44:48,051 --> 00:44:50,654 It is amazing, really, that an off-road vehicle 836 00:44:50,687 --> 00:44:52,221 can feel this stable, 837 00:44:52,288 --> 00:44:54,457 this planted, I think the word is. 838 00:44:54,523 --> 00:44:56,225 Because it's not that long ago, 839 00:44:56,292 --> 00:44:58,662 if you think about early Range Rovers and the like, 840 00:44:58,695 --> 00:45:00,664 going fast was actually quite frightening. 841 00:45:00,730 --> 00:45:04,133 They had stickers on the sun visors, do you remember, 842 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,869 with a picture of the car toppling over. 843 00:45:05,935 --> 00:45:07,971 "Avoid sudden swerves." 844 00:45:08,037 --> 00:45:09,906 Yes, I'd completely forgotten 845 00:45:09,973 --> 00:45:11,808 about that sticker, but you're right, it did. 846 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:16,045 "If you operate the steering wheel, this vehicle will fall over." 847 00:45:17,546 --> 00:45:20,549 - RICHARD: Chaps? - JEREMY: What? 848 00:45:20,684 --> 00:45:22,085 There are no speed limits, right? 849 00:45:22,151 --> 00:45:25,121 So we are allowed to go as fast as our cars will go. 850 00:45:25,188 --> 00:45:27,957 But who dares actually do that? 851 00:45:28,024 --> 00:45:30,326 Who dares go the fastest? 852 00:45:30,393 --> 00:45:34,130 Right, if we're going to play that game, I might even join in. 853 00:45:34,197 --> 00:45:35,832 Bang on. 854 00:45:35,899 --> 00:45:37,166 RICHARD: Go on, James. Help yourself. 855 00:45:40,203 --> 00:45:44,708 - There you go, 187, top speed. - RICHARD: Really? 856 00:45:44,708 --> 00:45:49,212 The thing is, you were behind me when you started and you still are behind me. 857 00:45:49,278 --> 00:45:52,716 - I did 190. - Oh, for God's sake! You didn't. 858 00:45:52,782 --> 00:45:55,218 That's faster than your car will go. 859 00:45:56,753 --> 00:45:59,455 RICHARD: In order to put a stop to this nonsense, 860 00:45:59,522 --> 00:46:02,391 I made us pull in at the next service station. 861 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,995 Right, small cameras. 862 00:46:06,062 --> 00:46:08,131 We fix these to the dash where they can see the speedo, 863 00:46:08,197 --> 00:46:10,834 and then there's no cheating. 864 00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:12,468 Why have you got a dog? 865 00:46:12,535 --> 00:46:14,738 I shall show you. Follow me. 866 00:46:16,405 --> 00:46:18,207 If you want a pet, 867 00:46:18,274 --> 00:46:20,009 you can have something expensive, 868 00:46:20,076 --> 00:46:21,978 like an iguana with a silver necklace. 869 00:46:22,045 --> 00:46:24,748 Or you can have something cheap, like an ant. 870 00:46:24,748 --> 00:46:26,649 - JAMES: What ant? - That ant. 871 00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:31,354 Or you can use your common sense and have a labradog. 872 00:46:39,028 --> 00:46:41,164 With my clever demonstration over, 873 00:46:41,230 --> 00:46:42,866 we got back on the motorway 874 00:46:42,932 --> 00:46:46,970 and mounted Hammond's honesty cameras. 875 00:46:47,036 --> 00:46:49,773 I've got a good way of cheating still. 876 00:46:49,773 --> 00:46:52,876 Because if I push this button here, watch, 877 00:46:52,942 --> 00:46:55,812 my speedometer changes to kilometres an hour. 878 00:46:55,879 --> 00:46:57,346 He'll never know. 879 00:46:57,413 --> 00:46:59,282 And Jeremy, while you're setting your camera up, 880 00:46:59,348 --> 00:47:02,451 don't think about changing your display to km/h 881 00:47:02,518 --> 00:47:04,387 so you get a bigger number. 882 00:47:10,860 --> 00:47:14,864 JEREMY: It was now time to begin the speed trials. 883 00:47:19,803 --> 00:47:21,905 Here we go. Going for a big one. 884 00:47:21,971 --> 00:47:25,174 Into a world of speed and glory! 885 00:47:26,542 --> 00:47:28,978 Come on, Audi. You must be able to see me. 886 00:47:29,979 --> 00:47:31,480 Come on, come on, come on. 887 00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:36,485 Out of the way. And you in the Audi. Come on. 888 00:47:37,586 --> 00:47:39,355 As the traffic eased, 889 00:47:39,422 --> 00:47:43,326 Hammond was knocking on the door of 150 miles an hour. 890 00:47:44,527 --> 00:47:46,863 That's 148. 891 00:47:46,930 --> 00:47:48,297 Forty-nine. 892 00:47:48,364 --> 00:47:50,834 JEREMY: And I, too, was getting close. 893 00:47:50,867 --> 00:47:53,602 150 coming up. 150 any minute now. 894 00:47:53,669 --> 00:47:58,541 Come on, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it. 895 00:47:58,607 --> 00:48:02,078 Sadly, it was hard to say how fast James was going, 896 00:48:02,145 --> 00:48:03,512 because he's an imbecile. 897 00:48:10,586 --> 00:48:13,456 Oh, yeah! That big number's coming up. 898 00:48:14,523 --> 00:48:16,259 Got to beat 151. 899 00:48:18,361 --> 00:48:19,462 JEREMY: Shit! 900 00:48:19,528 --> 00:48:22,265 Why won't it go any faster than that? 901 00:48:22,331 --> 00:48:24,433 Come on! 902 00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,370 Why won't you go any faster than 148? 903 00:48:36,545 --> 00:48:40,516 Eventually, heavy traffic ended this important test. 904 00:48:43,186 --> 00:48:44,787 Right, as we are in a traffic jam, 905 00:48:44,888 --> 00:48:48,892 I may as well give you the results of Who Dares Wins. 906 00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:51,995 Richard Hammond, 155 miles an hour. 907 00:48:52,061 --> 00:48:55,131 I maxed the Range Rover at 149. 908 00:48:55,198 --> 00:48:57,901 And James May, because he's a blithering idiot, 909 00:48:57,901 --> 00:49:00,436 6,000rpm. 910 00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:06,976 The idiot's car had also drained its tank, 911 00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:08,611 so while he was filling up, 912 00:49:08,677 --> 00:49:12,081 I set up another of my clever demonstrations. 913 00:49:14,817 --> 00:49:16,585 Gentlemen, observe. 914 00:49:16,652 --> 00:49:19,155 You can buy very expensive sunglasses. 915 00:49:19,222 --> 00:49:21,324 These ones are made from real gold. 916 00:49:21,390 --> 00:49:23,492 Or you can buy very cheap sunglasses. 917 00:49:23,559 --> 00:49:25,061 But what do we all do? 918 00:49:25,929 --> 00:49:27,563 We all have Ray-Bans. 919 00:49:29,765 --> 00:49:33,169 You do know you're just being irritating, don't you? 920 00:49:33,236 --> 00:49:36,772 All you've actually told us about your car is something to do with underpants, 921 00:49:36,839 --> 00:49:38,174 iguanas and sunglasses. 922 00:49:38,241 --> 00:49:40,109 - I'm just saying. - Well, don't! 923 00:49:42,511 --> 00:49:45,448 Back on the move, we continued to follow James 924 00:49:45,514 --> 00:49:48,284 on our journey to the Nürburgring. 925 00:49:48,351 --> 00:49:52,055 But after a while, I started to worry. 926 00:49:53,957 --> 00:49:56,025 Where's he going? 927 00:49:56,092 --> 00:49:57,961 Why have we turned off the motorway? 928 00:49:57,961 --> 00:50:00,163 (SATNAV SPEAKS IN GERMAN) 929 00:50:05,601 --> 00:50:08,104 - James... - What? 930 00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,739 Well, I'm going to get straight to the point. 931 00:50:10,806 --> 00:50:12,976 This is not the Nürburgring. 932 00:50:15,111 --> 00:50:16,512 It's Nuremberg. 933 00:50:21,450 --> 00:50:24,453 - Ah, well, yes, but-- - There's no "Ah, well" about it. 934 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,589 The thing is, I can't actually speak German, 935 00:50:26,655 --> 00:50:29,625 only the bit about hands being wet because he's under a waterfall. 936 00:50:29,692 --> 00:50:33,629 But Nürburgring is the same in English as it is in German. 937 00:50:33,696 --> 00:50:36,065 I did it with voice control in German with my car. 938 00:50:36,132 --> 00:50:38,934 It was set to German. I said Nürburgring and it went "blink" 939 00:50:39,002 --> 00:50:41,437 - and I said, "Yes." But it's a similar name. - Don't blame the car! 940 00:50:41,504 --> 00:50:43,539 Well, I didn't pronounce it properly. 941 00:50:43,606 --> 00:50:46,309 That's like muddling up our names cos they both begin with J. 942 00:50:46,375 --> 00:50:48,911 Look, let's not get all bogged down 943 00:50:48,978 --> 00:50:50,546 with who's been a massive idiot 944 00:50:50,613 --> 00:50:53,582 and despite what he claims can't do anything properly. 945 00:50:53,649 --> 00:50:57,153 - Nothing. - Let's instead look for a race track near here. 946 00:50:57,220 --> 00:50:59,088 Why don't we try and find one? 947 00:51:02,958 --> 00:51:06,662 JEREMY: And that is exactly what Hammond did. 948 00:51:16,539 --> 00:51:18,241 Where? 949 00:51:18,307 --> 00:51:20,043 Well, it's all around you. Look, I've marked it out. 950 00:51:20,076 --> 00:51:22,611 Look, it goes around there and up there and along there, 951 00:51:22,678 --> 00:51:25,448 and then down there and round there. 952 00:51:25,514 --> 00:51:27,083 It's not really a track, is it? 953 00:51:27,150 --> 00:51:28,651 No, it's better. It's rallying. 954 00:51:28,717 --> 00:51:32,421 This will be the first ever Nuremberg Rally. 955 00:51:32,488 --> 00:51:36,725 Well, not the... absolute first ever. 956 00:51:36,792 --> 00:51:38,261 He's right. 957 00:51:38,327 --> 00:51:41,064 Do you imagine, if we did motorcycling round here, 958 00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:44,067 it would be the first ever Nuremberg Trials? 959 00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:45,501 Well, we could give it a go. 960 00:51:45,568 --> 00:51:47,336 Let's not run before we can walk, eh? 961 00:51:49,105 --> 00:51:52,741 JAMES: Since Hammond's course featured twisting bends, 962 00:51:52,808 --> 00:51:54,577 loose surfaces, 963 00:51:54,643 --> 00:51:58,747 sheer drops and piles of enormous rocks everywhere, 964 00:51:58,814 --> 00:52:01,250 some practice laps were in order. 965 00:52:04,553 --> 00:52:07,656 Slightly slow there cos I go round a dusty one, 966 00:52:07,723 --> 00:52:10,126 and then this is... I have no idea. 967 00:52:11,527 --> 00:52:15,098 "Danger." Right. I'll take note of that. 968 00:52:16,565 --> 00:52:18,701 I don't want to fall off there. 969 00:52:18,767 --> 00:52:21,170 Oh, shit. I really don't want to fall off there. 970 00:52:22,438 --> 00:52:25,108 RICHARD: Now, this bit is really scary. 971 00:52:25,141 --> 00:52:27,343 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 972 00:52:27,410 --> 00:52:29,745 That's a bit of a trouser-changer. 973 00:52:29,812 --> 00:52:32,748 Ooh! Now, this is quite interesting, 974 00:52:32,815 --> 00:52:34,783 cos in normal use, 975 00:52:34,850 --> 00:52:39,922 all of the power is sent to the rear wheels in the Jag. 976 00:52:39,988 --> 00:52:41,657 But it can then send power, 977 00:52:41,724 --> 00:52:45,161 up to 50% of it, to the front wheels. 978 00:52:45,228 --> 00:52:48,697 Right, this is where I can go very wrong if I'm not careful. 979 00:52:48,764 --> 00:52:49,732 Oh, shit. 980 00:52:51,134 --> 00:52:53,269 (GRUNTS AND LAUGHS) 981 00:52:56,605 --> 00:53:01,510 JAMES: Clarkson, meanwhile, had decided he didn't need to have a practice. 982 00:53:02,978 --> 00:53:04,780 What are you doing? 983 00:53:04,847 --> 00:53:07,650 It's my baked beans demonstration for when Hammond gets back. 984 00:53:07,716 --> 00:53:10,319 Because we've got cheap supermarket beans, 985 00:53:10,386 --> 00:53:11,654 then expensive... 986 00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:14,223 Oh, God. I haven't got time for this. 987 00:53:14,290 --> 00:53:17,160 And then, in the middle, the Range Rover... 988 00:53:17,193 --> 00:53:18,361 Oh! 989 00:53:21,164 --> 00:53:22,998 JAMES: With practice over, 990 00:53:23,065 --> 00:53:26,669 Hammond lined up on the beginning line for his timed lap. 991 00:53:26,735 --> 00:53:31,006 Richard Hammond, begin in three, two, one. 992 00:53:31,073 --> 00:53:32,241 Go! 993 00:53:34,777 --> 00:53:36,445 Here we go. 994 00:53:38,314 --> 00:53:39,882 Now, come on, Hammond. Concentrate. 995 00:53:43,219 --> 00:53:47,656 Oh! That was beautiful lift-off oversteer. 996 00:53:52,328 --> 00:53:54,197 A little bit of a brake, and then... 997 00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,435 Ooh! That's too fast there. 998 00:54:01,036 --> 00:54:02,971 I just had a wee. 999 00:54:03,038 --> 00:54:07,543 Right, let's predict what he's saying in there. 1000 00:54:07,610 --> 00:54:11,914 He'll say the traction control won't be turned off properly. 1001 00:54:11,980 --> 00:54:14,883 Cos you can't turn the traction control off completely. 1002 00:54:14,950 --> 00:54:18,254 He'll say, "I need power and there isn't any!" 1003 00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:20,489 Come on! Where's the power? 1004 00:54:20,556 --> 00:54:22,358 Give me power! Give me power! 1005 00:54:23,959 --> 00:54:25,928 Now, this one... Oh, shit. 1006 00:54:29,665 --> 00:54:31,600 This is the really fast bit. 1007 00:54:34,036 --> 00:54:36,705 Come on, baby! Come on. That's it. Give me power. 1008 00:54:37,606 --> 00:54:40,409 Going in with big speed here. 1009 00:54:40,476 --> 00:54:43,879 Now, brake early, early, early, early, early, 1010 00:54:43,946 --> 00:54:45,248 and then turn in. 1011 00:54:49,117 --> 00:54:50,286 Bury it. 1012 00:54:55,758 --> 00:54:57,826 I'm gonna be miles faster than him. 1013 00:54:57,893 --> 00:54:59,428 Well, you haven't even done any practice. 1014 00:54:59,495 --> 00:55:01,063 - I know. - It's honestly not that simple. 1015 00:55:01,129 --> 00:55:02,365 Yes, it is. 1016 00:55:03,299 --> 00:55:06,101 (SCREECHING) 1017 00:55:06,168 --> 00:55:07,403 Come on! 1018 00:55:09,972 --> 00:55:12,275 Giving it all she can. That's it, there you go. 1019 00:55:12,341 --> 00:55:14,310 Little burst and across the line. 1020 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,283 Five minutes 56 dead. 1021 00:55:20,316 --> 00:55:21,984 - That good? - I don't know. 1022 00:55:23,051 --> 00:55:24,553 - Five 56. - Dead. 1023 00:55:24,620 --> 00:55:28,291 Yes! Or no! Did you see me at that last bit? 1024 00:55:28,324 --> 00:55:31,527 The traction control just wouldn't let me put the power down there at all. 1025 00:55:31,594 --> 00:55:33,962 It stopped! Did you see me stop there? 1026 00:55:36,865 --> 00:55:39,001 - Why have you got a stopwatch? - To time him. 1027 00:55:39,067 --> 00:55:40,736 No, no, no, no. Look. 1028 00:55:40,803 --> 00:55:43,606 - What date is it? April 26th. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, OK. 1029 00:55:43,672 --> 00:55:45,841 - April 26th at... - No, a better idea. 1030 00:55:45,908 --> 00:55:48,944 Why don't we just chalk marks on the roof for every day? 1031 00:55:49,011 --> 00:55:51,614 - Every time the sun comes up, OK, another mark. - Right. 1032 00:55:52,515 --> 00:55:54,483 James May, you may begin 1033 00:55:54,550 --> 00:55:57,219 in three, two, one. 1034 00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,322 Now. 1035 00:55:59,355 --> 00:56:04,059 And May is off for Great Britain and Germany in the Bentley! 1036 00:56:04,126 --> 00:56:06,362 - He doesn't like heights. - No, he doesn't like heights. 1037 00:56:06,429 --> 00:56:08,697 - He doesn't like speed. - Or slippery stuff. 1038 00:56:08,764 --> 00:56:13,902 - So... everything he hates. - (LAUGHS) 1039 00:56:13,969 --> 00:56:16,539 JAMES: Despite the hostile environment, 1040 00:56:16,605 --> 00:56:17,973 I was determined to dig deep 1041 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,676 for the honour of the Bentley badge. 1042 00:56:23,946 --> 00:56:25,881 Slidey, slidey, slidey. 1043 00:56:28,083 --> 00:56:29,352 Yes, Tarmac. 1044 00:56:30,486 --> 00:56:32,455 (TYRES SQUEALING) 1045 00:56:32,521 --> 00:56:34,557 Did you... Did you hear that? 1046 00:56:34,623 --> 00:56:38,361 That was tyre squeal from James May. 1047 00:56:40,463 --> 00:56:42,398 Up the ridge. 1048 00:56:43,999 --> 00:56:45,368 Knock it down a cog. 1049 00:56:46,201 --> 00:56:47,403 Oh, my God. 1050 00:56:48,704 --> 00:56:49,872 Blimey! 1051 00:56:49,938 --> 00:56:52,675 That wasn't very James May-ish, was it? 1052 00:56:52,741 --> 00:56:54,610 He'll have frightened himself to death. 1053 00:56:56,645 --> 00:56:57,880 That's the dippy bit. 1054 00:56:59,181 --> 00:57:00,383 Look at this! 1055 00:57:11,193 --> 00:57:12,661 Oh! He got air! He got air! 1056 00:57:12,728 --> 00:57:14,096 I think he's being committed. 1057 00:57:16,131 --> 00:57:18,567 Jeremy, what if he beats me? 1058 00:57:18,634 --> 00:57:20,436 - What if he beats you? - Yeah. 1059 00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:24,272 - You'll die of shame and I'll die laughing. - Yeah, OK. 1060 00:57:24,407 --> 00:57:30,312 JEREMY: Try as he might, though, the old lady was losing time in the corners. 1061 00:57:30,413 --> 00:57:34,750 The trouble is, it is a two-and-a-half-tonne fairly long car, 1062 00:57:34,817 --> 00:57:37,620 and you can't change the laws of physics. 1063 00:57:39,522 --> 00:57:40,823 Cor! That's not good. 1064 00:57:43,459 --> 00:57:45,994 Oh, get it straight! Come on! 1065 00:57:46,061 --> 00:57:47,095 (TYRES SQUEAL) 1066 00:57:48,163 --> 00:57:49,432 Oh, no! I overdid it. 1067 00:57:56,839 --> 00:57:57,973 Six minutes 16. 1068 00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,675 So he was 16... 1069 00:57:59,742 --> 00:58:04,513 18 seconds slower than you and his car is £212,000. 1070 00:58:04,580 --> 00:58:06,715 Say some more of that stuff. Write it down. 1071 00:58:08,517 --> 00:58:11,787 JEREMY: Finally, it was the turn of the best car here. 1072 00:58:13,021 --> 00:58:15,290 Three, two, one. 1073 00:58:15,357 --> 00:58:16,525 Begin! 1074 00:58:18,827 --> 00:58:22,097 He hasn't... done a single practice lap. 1075 00:58:23,532 --> 00:58:25,568 I mean, not one. 1076 00:58:25,634 --> 00:58:27,970 Traction control off. That's better. 1077 00:58:29,472 --> 00:58:31,474 And watch this! 1078 00:58:33,208 --> 00:58:35,243 Flick it in. Nicely done. 1079 00:58:35,310 --> 00:58:36,812 Flick it back the other way. 1080 00:58:38,481 --> 00:58:41,316 While he's driving, what do we think he's being? Modest? 1081 00:58:41,383 --> 00:58:43,385 Self-effacing? Quiet? 1082 00:58:43,486 --> 00:58:46,088 He probably isn't saying anything. He's probably concentrating. 1083 00:58:46,154 --> 00:58:48,524 Yes! 1084 00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:52,561 Oh, God, I'm good at everything. 1085 00:58:52,628 --> 00:58:54,897 However, in order to win this contest, 1086 00:58:54,963 --> 00:59:01,303 I had no intention of relying only on my supreme skills. 1087 00:59:01,369 --> 00:59:06,842 You see, the thing is, the Jaguar and the Bentley were designed as road cars 1088 00:59:06,909 --> 00:59:10,278 and then given some off-road ability. 1089 00:59:10,345 --> 00:59:13,849 Whereas the Range Rover was designed as an off-road car, 1090 00:59:13,916 --> 00:59:17,520 and then given some ability to work on the road. 1091 00:59:17,586 --> 00:59:19,187 It's only a subtle difference, 1092 00:59:19,254 --> 00:59:23,526 but it means I don't have to follow the beaten track. 1093 00:59:24,527 --> 00:59:26,194 I can take shortcuts. 1094 00:59:32,134 --> 00:59:35,170 It's such a clever car, it really is. 1095 00:59:37,873 --> 00:59:42,110 This car senses what sort of terrain it's driving over, 1096 00:59:42,177 --> 00:59:48,183 and then engages or disengages the differentials accordingly. 1097 00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:52,020 (CHUCKLES) You could not come up here in the Bentley or the Jaguar. 1098 00:59:56,024 --> 00:59:57,760 - It's quiet. I can't hear it. - What's he in at the moment? 1099 00:59:57,826 --> 01:00:00,395 A pair of pants? Tin of beans? Labrador? 1100 01:00:00,462 --> 01:00:02,197 There'll be another stupid... 1101 01:00:02,264 --> 01:00:05,000 "You get ordinary ones and mine's just the best." 1102 01:00:08,036 --> 01:00:11,139 The Range Rover can wade through water 1103 01:00:11,206 --> 01:00:12,875 nearly a metre deep. 1104 01:00:15,277 --> 01:00:16,679 And look at it! 1105 01:00:16,745 --> 01:00:18,881 What a machine you are! 1106 01:00:20,148 --> 01:00:22,150 Now we just pump back up the hill. 1107 01:00:23,385 --> 01:00:24,587 Power! 1108 01:00:24,653 --> 01:00:26,589 Power now! 1109 01:00:26,655 --> 01:00:28,624 - There he is. - Hey? 1110 01:00:28,691 --> 01:00:30,492 - No, hang on a minute. - No, he's there, look. 1111 01:00:30,559 --> 01:00:32,695 - No, but... - What? 1112 01:00:34,262 --> 01:00:35,998 And across the line. 1113 01:00:37,933 --> 01:00:40,936 He's almost two minutes quicker than you were. 1114 01:00:41,804 --> 01:00:43,105 That's not possible. 1115 01:00:46,809 --> 01:00:48,443 - How did you do that? - What? 1116 01:00:48,510 --> 01:00:51,747 - That. - A, your car's all wet, which it shouldn't be. 1117 01:00:51,814 --> 01:00:54,416 And you're almost two minutes faster than Hammond. 1118 01:00:54,482 --> 01:00:56,384 Yes, but, you see, the thing is, 1119 01:00:56,451 --> 01:00:59,021 you can buy a cheap car, like a Jaguar, 1120 01:00:59,087 --> 01:01:01,256 or you can buy an expensive car, 1121 01:01:01,323 --> 01:01:02,557 like a Bent-- 1122 01:01:05,460 --> 01:01:06,729 (CHEERING) 1123 01:01:06,795 --> 01:01:09,632 Cheat! Cheat! He just cheated. 1124 01:01:09,665 --> 01:01:11,399 A total waste of time, that whole film. 1125 01:01:11,466 --> 01:01:14,269 A total waste of time. Range Rover, two minutes faster. 1126 01:01:14,336 --> 01:01:16,204 You cheated, simple as that. 1127 01:01:16,271 --> 01:01:19,942 Anyway, look, if we can just put the bickering aside for one moment, 1128 01:01:20,008 --> 01:01:21,543 I have to say, that little Jag was, 1129 01:01:21,644 --> 01:01:24,680 and it really was, brilliant. And it was designed 1130 01:01:24,747 --> 01:01:27,950 by a local boy, Ian Callum, born in Dumfries. 1131 01:01:28,016 --> 01:01:31,553 He didn't just do that. He also styled the Aston Martin DB7, 1132 01:01:31,654 --> 01:01:34,289 the DB9, the Vanquish, the Ford Puma, 1133 01:01:34,356 --> 01:01:36,091 the Escort Cosworth. 1134 01:01:36,158 --> 01:01:37,960 - Yeah, he's British. - Basically, yeah. 1135 01:01:38,026 --> 01:01:39,394 - (AUDIENCE GROANS) - Well, pretty much. 1136 01:01:39,461 --> 01:01:41,229 He is. He is. 1137 01:01:41,296 --> 01:01:44,667 Anyway, sadly, his new car isn't as good as a Range Rover. 1138 01:01:44,733 --> 01:01:46,501 Don't argue. It isn't. 1139 01:01:46,568 --> 01:01:49,705 And on that terrible disappointment for him, it's time to end. 1140 01:01:49,772 --> 01:01:51,039 Thank you so much for watching. 1141 01:01:51,106 --> 01:01:53,842 Thank you all so much for coming. 1142 01:01:53,909 --> 01:01:55,678 We'll see you next time. Goodbye. 1143 01:01:55,711 --> 01:01:57,012 (CHEERING)