1 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,650 Thank you, everybody. 2 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,890 Thank you. 3 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:09,050 Hello! 4 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:11,570 - Hello, peoples! - Hello. 5 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,410 Thank you very much. 6 00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:15,290 Thank you. 7 00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:17,210 Thank you so much. 8 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,770 Thank you, everybody. 9 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:21,530 And in this show... 10 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,650 James stands in a park, 11 00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:29,050 I panic in a shop... 12 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,610 and Richard is touched by a man. 13 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,410 All that is coming later. 14 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,130 It is not! 15 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:43,770 Yes, it is. But first, we start with this. 16 00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:47,010 This is the new Ford GT, 17 00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:50,250 and we have had thousands of letters from people, 18 00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:52,890 all asking the same thing - 19 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,050 "We know it's fast, very fast, 20 00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:57,570 but is it faster than an airliner?" 21 00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:59,490 Well, not thousands of letters. 22 00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:02,050 Er... no, not thousands of letters. 23 00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:05,370 You mean, none. -Yes. We've had no letters at all. 24 00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:08,450 But I was interested in finding out anyway, 25 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:11,890 so this week, The Grand Tour is off to New York. 26 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,250 And here it is. 27 00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:38,450 Deep inside the concrete canyons of Manhattan... 28 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:45,370 the fastest, most beautiful, 29 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,690 most expensive car Ford has ever made. 30 00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:56,850 Some are saying that it's just a 647-horsepower racing car for the road, 31 00:02:56,890 --> 00:02:59,370 but actually, it's a lot more than that. 32 00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:08,810 First things first - it is very practical. 33 00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:11,370 It's got a boot which is the exact same size 34 00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:14,210 as the glove box on a Renault Clio, 35 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,290 so you can get your luggage in easily. 36 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,130 And unlike the previous GT, 37 00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:23,010 it's got doors that you can open in a car park 38 00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:24,730 cos they go up rather than out. 39 00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:28,850 And you can get inside even if you have a head. 40 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,730 However, the seat doesn't move. 41 00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:36,210 In order to get comfortable, what you have to do is 42 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,570 move the steering wheel to where you want it 43 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,970 and then you move the pedals. 44 00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:44,490 Pull this sort of ratchet strap here, and... 45 00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,090 Right. 46 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,650 Is that... Is that fixed? 47 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,770 The problem with this moving-pedal arrangement is 48 00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:03,690 that when I push the brake, 49 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:07,010 how do I know whether I'm applying the brakes 50 00:04:07,050 --> 00:04:09,730 or just pushing the pedal further away? 51 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,010 How do I know whether it's locked? 52 00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:13,530 I don't! 53 00:04:15,970 --> 00:04:18,650 After some nerve-racking city-centre miles 54 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,170 with a swallowy Adam in my Big Apple... 55 00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:27,690 I arrived in Central Park, the start point of the race 56 00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:29,730 that no one's been asking about. 57 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,610 And dressed like everyone else, 58 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,970 my rival was waiting. 59 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:38,690 There he is, Mr Slowly. 60 00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:41,330 - Morning. - Hang on. 61 00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:43,370 Right, what's the plan? 62 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:45,170 Well, we're going to find out 63 00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,930 whether it's faster to fly or drive 64 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:50,250 from here to the Canadian border. 65 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,730 - Fly. - Well, you say that, 66 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,130 but if you look on a map... 67 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,210 you, because you're not using a car, 68 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:01,130 will have to go from here in Central Park 69 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,050 on a train to JFK, then fly to Buffalo 70 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:07,570 and then use a bus to get to the finish line 71 00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:10,010 at the Niagara Falls, where I'll be waiting for you. 72 00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:11,970 You won't be waiting for me. 73 00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:15,450 I will. This thing does 216 miles an hour! 74 00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:17,930 Yes, I know, but where, between there and there, 75 00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:20,250 are you gonna do 216 miles an hour? 76 00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:23,930 Yes, but you've got to spend two hours at JFK being touched inappropriately 77 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,530 and giving them your toothpaste. 78 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,130 Anyway, you've got a handicap. 79 00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:29,970 - What handicap? - Here it is! 80 00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:37,210 Seriously? I thought he was in hospital. 81 00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:39,650 No, you mean you hoped he was in hospital, but he isn't! 82 00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,250 He's come all the way out here. 83 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,450 He's keen to get back to work. 84 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:46,850 So I've become a carer, is that what you're saying? 85 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,450 Yes. Morning, Hammond. 86 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,610 - Morning, chaps! How are you? - We're very well. 87 00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:53,890 You do know this is a race car, don't you? 88 00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:57,370 Yes, apart from the fact it's got indicators and a rear-view mirror and... 89 00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,170 Yeah, but it was built to go racing, 90 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,810 and you do know racing cars never work on the road. 91 00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:04,330 After an hour in this, you'll be scared you're gonna to die. 92 00:06:04,370 --> 00:06:07,690 After two hours, you'll be scared in case you don't die. 93 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:09,490 Shall we just get on with this? 94 00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:14,650 - Ready? - Yes! 95 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:16,770 What was that? 96 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,290 - Nothing, nothing. - That looks tremendous! 97 00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:23,170 I've got it up again now. That was in its V-Max mode. 98 00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,610 Right. Ready, steady... 99 00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:27,130 Yes. 100 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:30,890 Go. 101 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,170 He hasn't got a chance, has he? 102 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:37,050 He has if you just stand there. Let's go! 103 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,930 It's this way, come on. 104 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:43,370 There we are, leaving the park. 105 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,570 This is good. 106 00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,130 Come on, Hammond. 107 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,810 Yeah, good teamwork. 108 00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:03,330 Come on! 109 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:06,210 Oh, it's good to be back! 110 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:10,210 As this was a race between the car and public transport, 111 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:15,290 we'd be using two subway trains, the AirTrain to JFK, 112 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:19,770 a plane to Buffalo and then two buses to the finish point 113 00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:22,330 at the Niagara Falls. 114 00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:26,490 Clarkson, meanwhile, had a simple 420-mile thrash 115 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,570 from one side of New York State to the other. 116 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:38,490 Yes! They're green on 89th. 117 00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:42,090 And they're green on 90th. 118 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,730 We are screaming along now. 119 00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:51,090 There are some steps here. Can you manage? 120 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:53,370 Yes! Er... 121 00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,690 Hammond, there's more. 122 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:11,330 "Start to begin. English. 123 00:08:11,370 --> 00:08:13,530 Fast MetroCard. Cash". 124 00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:15,050 Not everybody gives a running commentary 125 00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:17,210 as they get a card, most people just do it. 126 00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:21,930 Finally, I'd been caught at a red light, 127 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:26,010 but that was OK because I had an important call to make. 128 00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:29,370 Thank you for calling JetBlue. How may I help you? 129 00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:32,130 Good morning, my name's Jeremy Clarkson. 130 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,970 You have a James May and Richard Hammond 131 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:38,170 booked on this morning's flight from JFK to Buffalo. 132 00:08:38,210 --> 00:08:42,410 Sure. Do you have their confirmation number, and can you spell their last names? 133 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:44,690 I don't have a confirmation number. 134 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,890 What I can tell you is that they've been accidentally booked by the office 135 00:08:47,930 --> 00:08:50,130 into business class. 136 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:53,770 That's not company policy, so could you drop them back down to economy? 137 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,490 Sure, let me take a look. 138 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,410 OK, I will make this update in their reservation 139 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,450 and we will email you a confirmation. 140 00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,370 Is there anything else we can help with? 141 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:05,650 No, not for the moment, thanks. Thank you very much. 142 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:11,610 Oh, I'm on form this morning! 143 00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:13,730 As was the world's worst carer. 144 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:31,010 Come on! 145 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:34,810 With the world's clumsiest driver stuck in a barrier... 146 00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:39,450 I was getting used to the monster 147 00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:42,010 that was powering me through Manhattan. 148 00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:44,370 I used to own the old Ford GT, 149 00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:46,970 and that was a brilliant car in every way 150 00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:51,250 apart from the fact that it was the size of a football pitch, 151 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,450 I knocked myself out every time I closed the door, 152 00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:56,930 I couldn't see what was coming at junctions, 153 00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,490 and it had such a small fuel tank 154 00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:03,810 that it could only go about six yards between fill-ups. 155 00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:08,090 This new version, however, is completely different. 156 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:11,770 It is longer than the car I had, and wider 157 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,930 and harder to see out of, and incredibly, 158 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,610 the fuel tank's even smaller. 159 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,690 It only holds 12 gallons. 160 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,290 And that means that on this 420-mile race, 161 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:26,450 I'm gonna have to fill up... twice. 162 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,890 Eek. 163 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:36,570 It also has literally the hardest ride of any car I've ever driven. 164 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:40,170 I know New York's roads are atrocious, but this is stiff. 165 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:44,090 This is... This is stiffer than Ron Jeremy. 166 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,650 Meanwhile... 167 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,330 This is us. 168 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,810 Other than throwing myself down the stairs, 169 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:55,690 this is all I've got. 170 00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:58,970 Right, we missed that one. 171 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:06,130 In the GT, I was already leaving Manhattan. 172 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:11,690 Right, we've got to go across the Georgy Washington Bridge. 173 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,770 Heading for New Jersey. 174 00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,690 Annoyingly though, my storming progress 175 00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:22,130 was about to be halted by roadworks. 176 00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:29,570 This traffic's worse than I thought it was going to be. 177 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,850 Come on! 178 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,290 Er... James? 179 00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:45,290 Nothing, don't worry. 180 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,650 - What? - Nothing. 181 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:52,730 Yeah, but it means both of them, not just this one. 182 00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:56,850 Come and see the man without a disability sitting in the special seat! 183 00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:02,250 Ow! -There's nobody else disabled down here. 184 00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:07,210 I'd be better if I could sit in that special seat that's reserved for me. 185 00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,010 It's reserved for disabled people. 186 00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,690 - Like me! - You're not disabled! 187 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,450 Temporarily, yes, I am! 188 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:14,930 You're not disabled, you've had a playground injury 189 00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:16,890 as a result of your own half-wittedness. 190 00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:19,210 - Oh! - That's not disabled. 191 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:22,610 I'm surprised you don't do more charity work with the differently abled. 192 00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:28,610 Yes. 193 00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:32,090 Lot of love for the fast Ford here. 194 00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:35,690 There always is, of course, cos they're seen as sort of blue-collar heroes. 195 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:38,930 That said, this one is $400,000. 196 00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:42,850 You can actually have two Ferraris for the price of one of these. Two! 197 00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:50,810 Meanwhile, Hammond was heading for the next subway train 198 00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:53,690 with the help of Captain Compassionate. 199 00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,690 Come on, come on, come on! Come on! 200 00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:01,170 Come on! 201 00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:06,850 That's gone, then. Yeah. 202 00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,810 What happened there is, basically, we missed the train 203 00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:14,090 because you don't know to slow down when it says "finish" across the road. 204 00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,810 Oh, nice! -Sorry to put it bluntly like that, 205 00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:17,170 but that's exactly what happened. 206 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:23,570 I, meanwhile, was off the bridge, 207 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:28,890 and at last the GT had some space to stretch its legs. 208 00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:31,370 Right, now, the roads are opening up a bit, 209 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:33,890 time to see what this V6 can do. 210 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:39,090 Right, here we go - opening the taps! 211 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,690 Bloody Nora! 212 00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:52,690 Aagh! 213 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,050 What a machine! 214 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,210 What an astonishing engine! 215 00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:10,690 It's a turbo-charged V6, not a V8, 216 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:14,130 which it should be in a Ford GT, 217 00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:18,930 and it shares 60% of its components with the engine in a Ford pick-up truck. 218 00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:25,290 Yet somehow, it feels like a mad Caterham 219 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:27,210 when you put your foot down. 220 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:34,690 I also love the way they haven't messed around with the sound this engine makes. 221 00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:40,970 There's no electronic trickery, 222 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,810 no artificial barks and bangs, 223 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:47,450 it's just a raucous, deafening racket. 224 00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:53,210 As Jeremy deafened himself in New Jersey, 225 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:55,210 we had finished with the subways 226 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,970 and were about to board the train to the airport. 227 00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:03,370 - The train will be in three minutes. - Thank you. 228 00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:06,130 I'm gonna call May, see how they're doing. 229 00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:07,850 Who would you like to call? 230 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:09,930 Vagina. 231 00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:15,130 I've had to change his name in my contacts. 232 00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:18,450 It's not normally Vagina, it's worse than that. 233 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:22,290 Hello, it's me. You rang. 234 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:25,290 You'll have to really speak up, my car's quite noisy. 235 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:28,970 I want to know, what time do you get to JFK? 236 00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:33,730 We will get to JFK in 25 minutes' time. 237 00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,450 This is embarrassing, you're making a scene. 238 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:39,690 I'm hoping to get the 11 minutes past one flight. 239 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:43,570 Hello? May! 240 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,210 You know what? He's done some Bluetoothing, hasn't he? 241 00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,090 Oh, look. 242 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:52,730 - Oh. - That's not worked, has it? 243 00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:58,410 What a bloody noise, honestly! 244 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,970 What can I do about it? -Put some springs in them or something. 245 00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:04,570 On the freeway, 246 00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:09,050 I was falling even more under the spell of the GT. 247 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:11,210 This car was actually developed 248 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:14,210 by a team of just 20 people, 249 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:18,730 and they did it under the radar of Ford's management. 250 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,810 They had no idea it was going on. 251 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,810 Their only contribution to it was insisting it had 252 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:29,010 a little sort of glove-box thing down here in front of the seat 253 00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:32,490 so that when they were testing it on the streets of Detroit, 254 00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:34,930 they had somewhere to store their Glocks. 255 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:39,330 And it does actually feel like it was put together by a small team. 256 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:43,890 It doesn't feel like the product of a mass-market manufacturer. 257 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:48,810 There's nothing subtle or damped or gentle about anything it does. 258 00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,810 I just love it! 259 00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:54,410 On the AirTrain, 260 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:58,170 we too were finally making swift progress. 261 00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:01,010 - That's quite good, isn't it? - That's excellent. 262 00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:02,970 How fast would you say this was going? 263 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:05,170 It's probably 60mph. 264 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:06,730 That's great! 265 00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:10,970 Observe - the train is going faster than the cars. 266 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:18,130 Not my car, it wasn't. 267 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,890 As we are now in the steady cruise, 268 00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:23,850 I've put it in "comfort", and I can relax. 269 00:17:23,890 --> 00:17:26,650 The office has provided me with an audiobook, 270 00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:29,490 which will help me do just that. Here we go. 271 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:32,130 I knew innately that 272 00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,770 loosening them meant turning them anti-clockwise, 273 00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:36,930 a tiny hairspring that contracted... 274 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:39,250 Sadly, it turned out to be 275 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:42,090 a James May talking book on how to mend things. 276 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:44,890 What I didn't appreciate at the age of five 277 00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,610 was the facility that the freshly wound mainspring had 278 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,890 for completing the disassembly process for me, 279 00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:53,410 and as a quantum event at that. It was there... 280 00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:56,370 Having reached JFK in no time at all... 281 00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:01,370 Hop-Along Hammond was now slowing us down again... 282 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:06,530 so I decided to speed him up. 283 00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:08,730 You do realise this is not a self-propelled one, 284 00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:11,370 it hasn't got the big wheels, you'll have to push me? 285 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,810 - Yeah, that's all right. - Cool. 286 00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:16,770 It's better than listening to that clink-chink-clink noise for the rest of the day. 287 00:18:16,810 --> 00:18:20,330 You've really suffered, mate. I don't know how you've put up with it. 288 00:18:20,370 --> 00:18:21,890 Thank you. 289 00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:24,250 I'm just gonna do a quick brake test. -Yeah. 290 00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:26,571 - Yeah, they work. 291 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,730 Off came the back, 292 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,770 suspiciously easily, I would now realise. 293 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:34,930 More screws lay within, and on I went, 294 00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:36,930 like one of Carter's archaeologists... 295 00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:40,610 How did he stay awake to read that out? 296 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,610 He's reassembling an alarm clock, 297 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:45,490 and he's made an audio book of it. 298 00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:46,930 Oh, God! 299 00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,330 With Hammond now on four wheels, 300 00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:53,370 we were doing well. 301 00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:55,850 This is so easy! 302 00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:58,770 Take everything from out of your pockets, please. 303 00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:00,290 However... 304 00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:09,570 Well, I left them back in the... 305 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:11,610 I can't get in there without crutches. 306 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,770 You were complaining. I didn't think you wanted them any more. 307 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:16,010 - You gave them away! - You're in a wheelchair. 308 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:18,610 It's like a reserve parachute, you don't go, "I'm not using that". 309 00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:21,330 We haven't got the crutches. Please may we go through? 310 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,210 OK. 311 00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,330 It may have been OK for him, 312 00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,410 but it definitely wasn't OK for me. 313 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:37,810 All right, so I'm gonna go ahead, 314 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:39,050 I'm going to give you a pat-down today, OK? 315 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,010 - All right, sir. - The pat-down consists of 316 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:44,690 me starting from the top all the way to the top of your feet. 317 00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:47,810 For your sensitive areas, I have to use the back of my hands 318 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:51,770 in a sliding motion, from your waist, going down over your groin 319 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:54,050 and across your groin as well, 320 00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,730 then sliding my way down your leg, OK? 321 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:07,770 Sitrep - 300 miles to go, 322 00:20:07,810 --> 00:20:11,410 and I've been doing 16.4 miles to the gallon, 323 00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:13,570 and I'm on the motorway. 324 00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:17,090 That's not bad. I mean, it's not a prize, but it's not bad. 325 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:20,930 They should be at JFK now having their penises touched 326 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,610 and deodorant confiscated. 327 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,570 I'm gonna go up and down, OK? 328 00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:35,250 I'm going down. 329 00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:40,410 I'll go up and down one more time at the top of the leg. 330 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:43,850 At this point, 331 00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:46,730 I decided to make life even worse for Hammond and May 332 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:49,570 by making another call to their airline. 333 00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:52,650 Thank you for calling JetBlue. How may I help you? 334 00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:56,010 Really sorry to trouble you again. It's Jeremy Clarkson here. 335 00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,770 I spoke earlier about 336 00:20:57,810 --> 00:21:01,530 downgrading Mr May and Mr Hammond to economy class. 337 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,730 - Yeah. - If I could tell you, 338 00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:08,330 in confidence - they've both just come out of rehab. 339 00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:10,890 So on the flight, could you make sure 340 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:13,450 the attendants don't give them any alcohol? 341 00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:15,770 Thank you for letting us know. 342 00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:18,410 I will go onto the reservation and make a note 343 00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:21,370 and give it to our in-flight crew. 344 00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:24,730 We will make sure to accommodate this special request. 345 00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:26,850 Thank you for your understanding. 346 00:21:26,890 --> 00:21:28,730 OK, goodbye. 347 00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:30,730 Calling Vagina. 348 00:21:30,770 --> 00:21:33,330 Hold on. 349 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:35,250 - Hello? - Where are you? 350 00:21:35,290 --> 00:21:38,290 We're at JFK. How far have you got? 351 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,610 I've done 153 miles. 352 00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:43,210 - 153? - Yeah. 353 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,530 Right, well, this is where we catch up. 354 00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,890 We're about to board the 500mph shuttle. 355 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:49,450 How long's your flight? 356 00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,130 One hour and 15 minutes. 357 00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:53,850 Righty-ho. I could literally... 358 00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:56,770 I might stop and have lunch in a minute. 359 00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:58,570 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see you at the end 360 00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:00,650 and keep a beer warm for you. 361 00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:04,010 You definitely will need a drink if you get to the end, I assure you. 362 00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:06,930 Got to go now - important work. 363 00:22:06,970 --> 00:22:10,050 Goodbye. 364 00:22:10,090 --> 00:22:12,450 Economy and no drinks! 365 00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:14,850 I am so gonna win this today. 366 00:22:16,970 --> 00:22:19,610 Calls over, I put my foot down 367 00:22:19,650 --> 00:22:22,010 and went back into the noise zone. 368 00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:41,290 Honestly... 369 00:22:41,330 --> 00:22:44,530 you would not believe, 370 00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:48,370 you simply wouldn't believe the noise that that car makes. 371 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:51,210 It's just... It's just so relentless. 372 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:55,450 I can't imagine having to put up with that endless bellowing drone. 373 00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:57,250 Yeah, it's a dreary drone. 374 00:22:57,290 --> 00:23:02,370 Just going on and on and on and on. 375 00:23:02,410 --> 00:23:05,610 You think you had it bad, I was travelling with a handicap! 376 00:23:07,770 --> 00:23:12,130 James, it's not 1950. The correct term these days is "a disabled". 377 00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:15,490 He's not disabled, he's just clumsy. 378 00:23:15,530 --> 00:23:17,010 What? 379 00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:18,650 Actually, on that whole point, 380 00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:20,250 able-bodied people like to think that 381 00:23:20,290 --> 00:23:22,330 everything that could be done to make life easier 382 00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:25,690 and convenient for disabled people has been done, 383 00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:27,610 but when you find yourself in that position, 384 00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:31,570 you realise it really, really hasn't. 385 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,970 The Grand Tour - a show that cares. 386 00:23:36,490 --> 00:23:38,890 This week it's disabled people 387 00:23:38,930 --> 00:23:42,490 and next week we're doing people who are BLT. 388 00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:44,090 Erm... that's a sandwich. 389 00:23:44,130 --> 00:23:46,370 What is it I mean? 390 00:23:46,410 --> 00:23:48,010 You mean, LGBT. 391 00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:49,570 Yes, that. 392 00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:53,090 That's what I meant, not BLT. Er... anyway... 393 00:23:53,130 --> 00:23:56,010 It's lesbian, gay, bacon and tomato - that's the one. 394 00:23:56,050 --> 00:23:58,450 That's my favourite sandwich, and we're doing that next week. 395 00:23:58,490 --> 00:24:01,890 Later on, though, we'll be picking the race up, 396 00:24:01,930 --> 00:24:03,450 so don't go away. 397 00:24:03,490 --> 00:24:04,970 Absolutely, there'll be more of that later. 398 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,850 But now it is time for us to lean 399 00:24:07,890 --> 00:24:10,690 on the lamppost of chat, in Conversation Street. 400 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:23,850 Right, yes, now - Formula One season is over, 401 00:24:23,890 --> 00:24:25,850 and as we all know, I'm sure, 402 00:24:25,890 --> 00:24:27,890 Lewis Hamilton is world champion, 403 00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:30,090 and well done, him. 404 00:24:30,130 --> 00:24:32,050 I think we all agree on that. 405 00:24:32,090 --> 00:24:34,050 I'm sure the Baby Jesus was very pleased. 406 00:24:34,090 --> 00:24:35,570 - I don't doubt it. - They're like that. 407 00:24:35,610 --> 00:24:37,090 They're close. 408 00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:39,890 For me though, the highlight of the entire season 409 00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:42,210 was on the podium in Mexico, 410 00:24:42,250 --> 00:24:46,210 where Kimi Raikkonen set what I think is a new world record 411 00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:49,050 for the longest chug of champagne. 412 00:24:49,090 --> 00:24:50,810 - Did he? - Honestly. 413 00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:52,770 Everyone else is spraying it round. 414 00:24:52,810 --> 00:24:56,290 Back of shot... 415 00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:59,250 I thought, "I know the Finns like a drink, 416 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:01,250 but he must have a titanium throat!" 417 00:25:01,290 --> 00:25:04,130 Imagine the burp he did afterwards, a whole bottle. 418 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:05,650 It's staggering. 419 00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:07,810 I think the problem is for most people, 420 00:25:07,850 --> 00:25:10,170 champagne on the podium is a ritual, 421 00:25:10,210 --> 00:25:12,610 but for Kimi Raikkonen, it's just another drink, 422 00:25:12,650 --> 00:25:14,690 and he hasn't had one for at least two hours. 423 00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:17,490 I often wonder - you know in Abu Dhabi, on the podium, 424 00:25:17,530 --> 00:25:19,610 they're given rose water, not champagne? 425 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,170 If Kimi's coming 3rd, he's thinking, 426 00:25:22,210 --> 00:25:26,130 "I've got to go on the podium for 20 minutes and drink rose water." 427 00:25:26,170 --> 00:25:28,450 "Oh, no, I'm 4th. 428 00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:30,370 Straight to my motorhome and have a beer". 429 00:25:30,410 --> 00:25:32,450 - Tuck in! - I mean, he is a Finn! 430 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:34,250 That's what they do. 431 00:25:34,290 --> 00:25:38,010 Anyway, self-driving cars. We're told they're coming. 432 00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:40,170 - Yes. - We were told this week, 433 00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:41,970 actually, that there's a problem. 434 00:25:42,010 --> 00:25:45,410 In cities like New York, and I guess other cities around the world, 435 00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:47,330 people who drive them, indeed the cars themselves, 436 00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:48,850 are going to be bullied. 437 00:25:48,890 --> 00:25:51,010 - Bullied? - That's what they're saying. 438 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:55,570 Obviously, these cars will be programmed to never run over a person, OK? 439 00:25:55,610 --> 00:25:58,450 Which means you can just go and stand in front of them. 440 00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:00,210 I mean, you could. 441 00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,770 You could do better than that, you could probably herd them a bit. 442 00:26:02,810 --> 00:26:05,770 I could herd them and I would herd them. 443 00:26:05,810 --> 00:26:08,170 Can you imagine how sanctimonious 444 00:26:08,210 --> 00:26:11,970 the man sitting in his new self-driving car is gonna be with his paper? 445 00:26:12,010 --> 00:26:14,770 "I'm not driving, I'm just reading the paper while it drives me home." 446 00:26:14,810 --> 00:26:16,490 If you just go, "Back up!" 447 00:26:16,530 --> 00:26:18,810 It'll be going, "I mustn't run him over!" 448 00:26:18,850 --> 00:26:22,530 Back him into a river. That's what I'd do, I would. 449 00:26:22,570 --> 00:26:24,690 They'll have all those algorithms on board 450 00:26:24,730 --> 00:26:27,210 for moral decisions as to what they're gonna do. 451 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:29,770 - So carry a fake baby. - Good plan! 452 00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:31,770 Walk up to it, the car will think, 453 00:26:31,810 --> 00:26:34,290 "Fake baby or fat, smug man in a business suit?" 454 00:26:34,330 --> 00:26:37,250 - He's going in the river. - This is exactly right. 455 00:26:37,290 --> 00:26:39,050 That would be tremendous. 456 00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:41,090 Sadly, I don't think we're going to see anything like 457 00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:43,250 an autonomous car until long after we're dead. 458 00:26:43,290 --> 00:26:44,930 No, I couldn't agree with you more. 459 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:47,410 They are years and years and years away, decades away. 460 00:26:47,450 --> 00:26:51,650 It's such a complicated area to apply what is essentially robotics. 461 00:26:51,690 --> 00:26:53,450 You're dead right about robotics. 462 00:26:53,490 --> 00:26:56,890 I don't yet have a robot that could make me a cup of tea, 463 00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:59,210 which is quite simple, or bring me my slippers. 464 00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:01,530 - Just domestic stuff. - Sex robots aren't here yet. 465 00:27:01,570 --> 00:27:03,170 That's people from Essex, isn't it? 466 00:27:04,930 --> 00:27:06,930 There's a TV show about that, isn't there? 467 00:27:06,970 --> 00:27:08,850 - Anyone from Essex? - Orange Sex... 468 00:27:08,890 --> 00:27:11,090 You're from Essex? There's a sex robot here, look. 469 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:12,810 Hiya! 470 00:27:12,850 --> 00:27:15,210 That's what he thinks of you. I don't, personally. 471 00:27:15,250 --> 00:27:18,690 That's amazing. It's incredibly convincing! 472 00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:20,810 Can you go like that... 473 00:27:20,850 --> 00:27:24,250 Can we stop this conversation? It's gonna go somewhere wrong. 474 00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:26,570 The way I'd sum this up is this. 475 00:27:26,610 --> 00:27:29,370 Somebody says, "We've made this self-driving car, brilliant." 476 00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:33,090 I will take him to Bolivia, put him at the bottom of Death Road 477 00:27:33,130 --> 00:27:35,690 and say, "Sit in it, reading your paper 478 00:27:35,730 --> 00:27:38,970 while it drives you up there, passing all the buses with the 1,000-foot drop. 479 00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:41,690 If you're prepared to do that and you can reach the top 480 00:27:41,730 --> 00:27:45,250 with no poo in your underpants, I'll buy one." 481 00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:47,850 "Enjoy reading your newspaper on the way". It's not gonna work. 482 00:27:47,890 --> 00:27:50,290 No, right - "Agh!" 483 00:27:50,330 --> 00:27:52,330 That's covered self-driving cars. 484 00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:54,570 We needn't worry. Shall we move it on? 485 00:27:54,610 --> 00:27:57,090 Yes. Moving on. Interesting news this week - 486 00:27:57,130 --> 00:28:00,570 Jeremy has been approached to be the ambassador... 487 00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:02,250 - Oh, yeah! - For a vineyard 488 00:28:02,290 --> 00:28:04,650 - in the South of France. - Yes, I have. 489 00:28:04,690 --> 00:28:06,010 What are they thinking? 490 00:28:06,050 --> 00:28:08,170 Imagine a better job than that. 491 00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:13,650 Oh, yeah. "I am the Ambassador for Chateau." 492 00:28:13,690 --> 00:28:16,010 How's that going to go? "Where is the Ambassador?" 493 00:28:16,050 --> 00:28:18,810 "He's out the back, completely clattered, 494 00:28:18,850 --> 00:28:20,410 where he always is." 495 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,410 You're not an ambassador, you're a customer! 496 00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:24,530 Sorry - he's out the back with pneumonia. 497 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:28,370 - Ambassadorial pneumonia. - Still droning on about that? 498 00:28:28,410 --> 00:28:31,170 I don't know how it's going to work though, cos the problem is, 499 00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,330 the three of us have never had a commercial tie-in. 500 00:28:33,370 --> 00:28:36,210 You may be surprised to hear this - we dress ourselves. 501 00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:41,290 No, he doesn't mean we put our clothes on ourselves. 502 00:28:41,330 --> 00:28:42,810 We're not sponsored by a clothing company. 503 00:28:42,850 --> 00:28:44,570 I know you'll be staggered to hear that. 504 00:28:44,610 --> 00:28:47,290 - Model's own. - Yes, this is it. 505 00:28:47,330 --> 00:28:50,330 I go into a shop and I choose these and I buy them 506 00:28:50,370 --> 00:28:52,170 with my money, watches and everything. 507 00:28:52,210 --> 00:28:54,050 We buy everything ourselves. 508 00:28:54,090 --> 00:28:56,690 That's why we don't know how it works, the commercial stuff. 509 00:28:56,730 --> 00:28:58,650 Actually, it's funny you should mention that, 510 00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:00,330 because you know that pink-and-purple-striped 511 00:29:00,370 --> 00:29:02,410 rugby-shirt thing I've had for years? 512 00:29:02,450 --> 00:29:04,490 - Yeah. - You know the one I mean. 513 00:29:04,530 --> 00:29:07,690 - It's a top. - I know, yeah. Top? 514 00:29:07,730 --> 00:29:09,210 - It's a top. - Did you say, "top"? 515 00:29:09,250 --> 00:29:11,530 - It's a top. - It's not a top! 516 00:29:11,570 --> 00:29:13,890 It's not a shirt, it's not a T-shirt. 517 00:29:13,930 --> 00:29:17,410 Hammond, I've never said this before and I promise I'll never say it again, 518 00:29:17,450 --> 00:29:19,290 but I'm with James May on this. 519 00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:21,890 - A man cannot wear a "top". - Ordinarily, no, 520 00:29:21,930 --> 00:29:25,210 but that is... Technically, it's a hooped top. 521 00:29:25,250 --> 00:29:28,490 Anyway, that's not the point. I was at an event once, 522 00:29:28,530 --> 00:29:31,210 and a man sidled up to me, took me to one side. 523 00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:33,130 He was from Gant, the big American clothing company 524 00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:35,930 that made that thing originally, the shirt! -Top. 525 00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:40,170 He begged me, he said, "Please stop wearing it." 526 00:29:40,210 --> 00:29:41,770 And then... 527 00:29:41,810 --> 00:29:44,130 It got better than that. 528 00:29:44,170 --> 00:29:45,890 He says, "If you stop wearing it, 529 00:29:45,930 --> 00:29:48,370 you can have as many free clothes as you like." 530 00:29:48,410 --> 00:29:51,010 But I still said no because I'm an arse. 531 00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:56,490 Hey! What about... Why don't we do... 532 00:29:56,530 --> 00:29:58,570 - What? - Reverse sponsorship. 533 00:29:58,610 --> 00:30:00,610 It's just occurring to me. 534 00:30:00,650 --> 00:30:03,970 You know Levi's once said I'm ruining the Levi reputation? 535 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:05,810 They did! -Because I always wear Levi's. 536 00:30:05,850 --> 00:30:09,010 Why don't I say to them, "Give me 100 grand, 537 00:30:09,050 --> 00:30:10,650 I'll wear Rounders"? 538 00:30:10,690 --> 00:30:13,890 - Erm... - What about watches? 539 00:30:13,930 --> 00:30:15,930 I'm going to sit like this, 540 00:30:15,970 --> 00:30:17,850 and I'm going to say something deeply offensive 541 00:30:17,890 --> 00:30:20,250 to millions of people around the world, Omega! 542 00:30:22,210 --> 00:30:25,410 Unless you send me 50 grand, and I'll wear a Rolex, 543 00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:29,370 which is the watch of choice for all the world's arses. 544 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:31,370 I'm not a lawyer... 545 00:30:31,410 --> 00:30:33,850 - Mm-hm? - But isn't that extortion? 546 00:30:33,890 --> 00:30:36,330 It is extortion. 547 00:30:36,370 --> 00:30:37,930 It just is. 548 00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:39,570 I've got a better idea. 549 00:30:39,610 --> 00:30:42,250 Why don't we say to people, they can put in bids 550 00:30:42,290 --> 00:30:44,530 to put their logo on the bottom of Richard Hammond's car? 551 00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:46,890 Because the chances are... 552 00:30:48,610 --> 00:30:50,090 Yes! 553 00:30:50,130 --> 00:30:52,450 Thank you! 554 00:30:52,490 --> 00:30:56,410 - Thank you. - Imagine the commentary. 555 00:30:56,450 --> 00:30:59,530 "Here comes Richard Hammond. Oh, no, he's gone off! Pepsi". 556 00:31:01,490 --> 00:31:03,410 - That's a very good idea. - Moving on. 557 00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:04,970 That's the end of Conversation Street. 558 00:31:05,010 --> 00:31:06,770 We must move it on with this. 559 00:31:06,810 --> 00:31:09,090 Imagine what it's like to be a car designer. 560 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,170 You love cars, you always have. 561 00:31:11,210 --> 00:31:14,370 Your school exercise books were full of drawings of cars. 562 00:31:14,410 --> 00:31:16,010 You worked hard, you got to college, 563 00:31:16,050 --> 00:31:18,570 learned about geometry and proportions 564 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:20,650 and classicism and airflow and legislation. 565 00:31:20,690 --> 00:31:23,530 Then one day you get your qualification, 566 00:31:23,570 --> 00:31:28,210 and you land your dream job somewhere like Mercedes-Benz. 567 00:31:28,250 --> 00:31:31,490 And you spend your first four years 568 00:31:31,530 --> 00:31:36,090 designing the new seat-belt release button for the A-Class hatchback. 569 00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:39,690 Exactly, or a tailgate handle for a van. Ooh! 570 00:31:39,730 --> 00:31:42,770 It's not exactly what they dreamed of as kids, 571 00:31:42,810 --> 00:31:44,370 is it, car designers? 572 00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:46,410 Which is why they occasionally get bolshie 573 00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:48,130 and they say to the management, 574 00:31:48,170 --> 00:31:51,690 "Look, would you please let us do something interesting?" 575 00:31:51,730 --> 00:31:56,410 And that is obviously what's happened with the new Mercedes GT R. 576 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:18,530 You just know the designers have said, "Can it be green 577 00:32:18,570 --> 00:32:21,570 and can it have a mouth that could be used for sifting krill 578 00:32:21,610 --> 00:32:23,690 and can the bonnet be nine miles long 579 00:32:23,730 --> 00:32:27,570 and can it have bits of the Battlestar Galactica on its gills?" 580 00:32:29,490 --> 00:32:33,570 The bosses obviously thought, "They're being idiotic." 581 00:32:33,610 --> 00:32:37,450 But to keep them sweet, they let them get on with it. 582 00:32:39,650 --> 00:32:42,850 The upshot is a car that only really appeals 583 00:32:42,890 --> 00:32:45,810 to those that have a mental age of eight, 584 00:32:45,850 --> 00:32:49,370 and that's me and every other man. 585 00:32:54,090 --> 00:32:56,730 It even makes a childish noise. 586 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,770 Just brilliant! 587 00:33:07,810 --> 00:33:09,690 Unfortunately however, 588 00:33:09,730 --> 00:33:13,170 because the stylists were allowed to do what they wanted, 589 00:33:13,210 --> 00:33:16,450 the engineers then stuck out their bottom lips 590 00:33:16,490 --> 00:33:19,010 and said they wanted a free hand too. 591 00:33:23,090 --> 00:33:26,090 The trouble is that unlike car stylists, 592 00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:29,090 who are flamboyant and usually drunk, 593 00:33:29,130 --> 00:33:32,330 car engineers tend to be very sensible. 594 00:33:32,370 --> 00:33:36,610 You can tell this just by looking at their trousers. 595 00:33:36,650 --> 00:33:40,650 So they fitted this with all sorts of sensible stuff. 596 00:33:40,690 --> 00:33:43,330 It's got a flap, for example, which lowers itself 597 00:33:43,370 --> 00:33:45,930 from the bottom of the car when you're going quickly 598 00:33:45,970 --> 00:33:48,010 to reduce the air pressure down there. 599 00:33:48,050 --> 00:33:52,090 That literally sucks the car into the Tarmac, 600 00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:54,130 giving you more grip. 601 00:33:54,170 --> 00:33:56,490 Then there's the traction control, 602 00:33:56,530 --> 00:33:59,130 which you can turn off using this button here. 603 00:33:59,170 --> 00:34:03,050 Then you can decide how off you'd like it to be 604 00:34:03,090 --> 00:34:06,690 using this piece of Lego here. 605 00:34:06,730 --> 00:34:10,210 You turn it that way, and it's really very off indeed. 606 00:34:10,250 --> 00:34:15,050 Then you swivel it round, and now it's only slightly off. 607 00:34:15,090 --> 00:34:18,410 I never knew "off" was a variable thing, 608 00:34:18,450 --> 00:34:19,770 but there you go. 609 00:34:22,690 --> 00:34:26,890 Other things - well, the body is made from carbon fibre 610 00:34:26,930 --> 00:34:31,450 and titanium and magnesium to make it light. 611 00:34:31,490 --> 00:34:34,770 And it's got two Venturi tunnels at the back 612 00:34:34,810 --> 00:34:37,650 and short gearing and four-wheel steering. 613 00:34:42,130 --> 00:34:46,930 There's so much techy stuff on the GT R, in fact, 614 00:34:46,970 --> 00:34:49,330 that it is really... 615 00:34:49,370 --> 00:34:51,250 ...very fast 616 00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:54,810 and extremely well sorted out. 617 00:35:12,010 --> 00:35:15,530 The turning, thanks to the four-wheel steering, 618 00:35:15,570 --> 00:35:18,090 is incredible, and when you go through 619 00:35:18,130 --> 00:35:22,290 Dentalcare Swindon, run by dentists for patients, 620 00:35:22,330 --> 00:35:26,690 it's like a small and very eager dog. 621 00:35:26,730 --> 00:35:28,570 Then you've got the gearbox, 622 00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:31,570 which I think was designed by Mystic Meg 623 00:35:31,610 --> 00:35:34,810 because it always seems to know 624 00:35:34,850 --> 00:35:37,130 what's going to happen next. 625 00:35:38,530 --> 00:35:41,290 It is uncanny! 626 00:35:41,330 --> 00:35:45,050 But the best thing is the braking. You ready? 627 00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:47,050 Watch this. 628 00:35:51,690 --> 00:35:55,650 Has my face actually come off? It has, hasn't it? 629 00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:59,370 Small wonder, then, that the GT R holds the lap record 630 00:35:59,410 --> 00:36:02,490 for rear-wheel drive cars at the Nurburgring, 631 00:36:02,530 --> 00:36:06,450 and that is its problem. 632 00:36:06,490 --> 00:36:10,770 Because AMG Mercs aren't really supposed to set lap records. 633 00:36:10,810 --> 00:36:14,210 They're not supposed to be particularly fast. 634 00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:18,410 You buy an AMG Merc cos you want it to do this... 635 00:36:21,450 --> 00:36:23,450 make a lot of noise 636 00:36:23,490 --> 00:36:27,930 while sliding through a cloud of its own tyre smoke. 637 00:36:27,970 --> 00:36:29,690 In an AMG Merc, 638 00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:33,090 you don't want to go round a corner crisply at 150, 639 00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:38,810 you want to go round smiling and sideways at about 27. 640 00:36:40,410 --> 00:36:42,930 And there's another thing too... 641 00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:46,010 the engine. 642 00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,890 It's a twin turbo-charged V8, 643 00:36:49,930 --> 00:36:54,810 which produces 577 horsepower, and that's a lot. 644 00:36:54,850 --> 00:36:57,850 But exactly the same engine in an E-Class saloon 645 00:36:57,890 --> 00:37:00,370 produces more than 600 horsepower. 646 00:37:00,410 --> 00:37:04,250 So why not use that engine in here? 647 00:37:09,290 --> 00:37:12,130 The only possible reason is that soon, 648 00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:14,410 there'll be a more powerful, 649 00:37:14,450 --> 00:37:16,450 even faster version of this car, 650 00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:18,930 so why buy this one now? 651 00:37:20,370 --> 00:37:22,210 It's a good question. 652 00:37:23,810 --> 00:37:25,130 I wouldn't. 653 00:37:40,210 --> 00:37:42,130 So, who would buy a car like that? 654 00:37:42,170 --> 00:37:44,090 I don't know, I've never met anyone 655 00:37:44,130 --> 00:37:47,090 who I think would like that car, would want to buy it. 656 00:37:47,130 --> 00:37:48,890 Besides all that, if you want something 657 00:37:48,930 --> 00:37:51,610 that feels like a Porsche, why not buy, say, a Porsche? 658 00:37:51,650 --> 00:37:54,130 Because Porsche are really good at making Porsches. 659 00:37:54,170 --> 00:37:55,450 - They are. - Yeah. 660 00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:56,850 They're so good at making Porsches 661 00:37:56,890 --> 00:37:59,410 that since you filmed that, their new GT2 662 00:37:59,450 --> 00:38:00,970 has gone round the Nurburgring 663 00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:02,130 faster than the GTR. 664 00:38:02,170 --> 00:38:03,890 The worst thing is, 665 00:38:03,930 --> 00:38:05,970 that's the first time I've ever filmed an AMG Merc 666 00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:07,250 and finished the day 667 00:38:07,290 --> 00:38:09,930 on the same set of tyres I started with. 668 00:38:09,970 --> 00:38:11,610 And I don't like that. 669 00:38:11,650 --> 00:38:14,970 I want an AMG Merc to eat its own feet in every corner. 670 00:38:15,010 --> 00:38:16,650 That's what it's for, yes. 671 00:38:16,690 --> 00:38:18,450 Anyway, if you are the sort of person 672 00:38:18,490 --> 00:38:21,570 who wants to buy a shouty, lime green car 673 00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:23,290 that looks mad but actually isn't, 674 00:38:23,330 --> 00:38:24,570 then you'll probably want to know 675 00:38:24,610 --> 00:38:27,090 how fast it goes around our Eboladrome. 676 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:28,850 Yeah. Last year, that would have meant 677 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,690 handing it over to the American. 678 00:38:30,730 --> 00:38:32,690 But we're not using him any more, 679 00:38:32,730 --> 00:38:35,730 because he didn't like coming to England. 680 00:38:35,770 --> 00:38:37,770 And because you all hated him. 681 00:38:39,610 --> 00:38:41,370 - Well, that too. - Little bit. 682 00:38:41,410 --> 00:38:43,490 But the point is, we needed a replacement, 683 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:45,050 we needed a new driver. 684 00:38:45,090 --> 00:38:46,850 And we've spent the last nine months 685 00:38:46,890 --> 00:38:48,890 auditioning everyone we could think of. 686 00:38:48,930 --> 00:38:50,330 Former F1 drivers, 687 00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:52,370 rally drivers, stunt drivers, test drivers, 688 00:38:52,410 --> 00:38:55,370 until we ended up with the fastest. 689 00:38:55,410 --> 00:38:56,890 And here she is. 690 00:38:56,930 --> 00:39:00,690 Right, here we go. 691 00:39:00,730 --> 00:39:03,810 And she's off. Tidy start, no wheelspin, 692 00:39:03,850 --> 00:39:05,570 full power from the twin-turbo V8. 693 00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,930 To the first corner. Will she lift? 694 00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:10,050 No, it didn't sound like she did. 695 00:39:10,090 --> 00:39:13,730 Right, second corner, balancing the car nicely. 696 00:39:13,770 --> 00:39:16,810 God, that thing looks planted. 697 00:39:16,850 --> 00:39:18,690 Right, here we go, this is the tricky bit. 698 00:39:18,730 --> 00:39:20,890 Let's have a look how she's getting on round here. 699 00:39:20,930 --> 00:39:23,010 Ooh, that thing looks planted! 700 00:39:23,050 --> 00:39:24,650 And quick. 701 00:39:24,690 --> 00:39:26,610 She's on the raggedy edge on the down-changes. 702 00:39:28,130 --> 00:39:30,290 Michelins squealing in pain, but that is... 703 00:39:30,330 --> 00:39:33,290 Let's have a look. Yeah, inch-perfect. 704 00:39:33,330 --> 00:39:35,090 Now, back onto the Isn't. 705 00:39:35,130 --> 00:39:37,010 She really has only one throttle position here, 706 00:39:37,050 --> 00:39:40,330 and it is in the carpet. 707 00:39:40,370 --> 00:39:44,610 Lifting now, and into the Old Lady's House complex. 708 00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:48,050 Working the low-speed grip through there. 709 00:39:48,090 --> 00:39:53,330 Yeah, and back on the gas for the bumpy run to Substation. 710 00:39:53,370 --> 00:39:55,970 Showing no mercy down there. 711 00:39:56,010 --> 00:39:58,210 Leaving the braking nice and late. 712 00:39:58,250 --> 00:40:01,370 Tidy line through the second-to-last corner. 713 00:40:01,410 --> 00:40:03,010 Just Field of Sheep to go. 714 00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:05,770 Really on it through there, and across the line. 715 00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,290 That was an impressive lap, 716 00:40:09,330 --> 00:40:11,690 but let's see how fast it was. 717 00:40:11,730 --> 00:40:13,210 Here we go. 718 00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:14,850 Past the... Oh, it's quicker. 719 00:40:14,890 --> 00:40:17,090 Yes! 720 00:40:17,130 --> 00:40:18,930 Bloody hell! 721 00:40:20,450 --> 00:40:24,450 1:18.7. That is quick. 722 00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:26,890 Yeah, it is, and she is an incredible driver. 723 00:40:26,930 --> 00:40:29,170 She's a phenomenal driver, absolutely phenomenal. 724 00:40:29,210 --> 00:40:31,930 We are delighted to have her on board. 725 00:40:31,970 --> 00:40:36,090 But now it is time to move on to Celebrity Face-Off. 726 00:40:48,050 --> 00:40:53,050 Yes. And once again it is an international event 727 00:40:53,090 --> 00:40:55,850 as baseball takes on cricket. 728 00:40:55,890 --> 00:40:58,010 In short, we're trying to find out 729 00:40:58,050 --> 00:40:59,850 who is the fastest person in the world 730 00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:03,450 who earns a living from throwing and catching small balls. 731 00:41:04,850 --> 00:41:06,370 So would you please welcome 732 00:41:06,410 --> 00:41:08,650 Kevin Pietersen and Brian Wilson. 733 00:41:11,170 --> 00:41:12,530 Gentlemen! 734 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:13,610 Hello, sir. 735 00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:15,770 - Kevin, how are you? - Good. 736 00:41:15,810 --> 00:41:17,450 Good. Have a seat. 737 00:41:17,490 --> 00:41:19,210 Brian. Good to see you. 738 00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,450 That is a look! 739 00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:27,050 That is a look you've got going there. 740 00:41:27,090 --> 00:41:29,050 First of all, thank you very much for coming. 741 00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:30,450 Thanks for having us. 742 00:41:30,490 --> 00:41:32,170 And let's begin with a simple one, OK? 743 00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:33,650 Actually, it's not that simple. 744 00:41:33,690 --> 00:41:36,250 Kevin, could you explain to our American viewers 745 00:41:36,290 --> 00:41:38,890 what cricket is? 746 00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:41,050 I think I'm very lucky, we've got... 747 00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:42,290 I'm bored already actually! 748 00:41:44,010 --> 00:41:47,490 - No, go on, have another bash. - No. 749 00:41:47,530 --> 00:41:49,970 Just cos I don't like it and it gives me hay fever. 750 00:41:50,010 --> 00:41:51,490 Go on. 751 00:41:51,530 --> 00:41:53,890 Yeah, it's very difficult. For American... 752 00:41:53,930 --> 00:41:56,010 I play a lot of golf with a lot of American people 753 00:41:56,050 --> 00:41:57,810 and they literally, after two minutes, 754 00:41:57,850 --> 00:41:59,730 tell me to go away, swearing at me, 755 00:41:59,770 --> 00:42:02,730 because how can you play a game for five days and not get a result? 756 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,410 But there's T20s that Brian knows about, 757 00:42:04,450 --> 00:42:06,930 he's been to India, he's played T20s in India, 758 00:42:06,970 --> 00:42:08,490 and it's a pretty cool game. 759 00:42:08,530 --> 00:42:12,050 - I reckon you could do a T20. - No, I couldn't. 760 00:42:12,090 --> 00:42:14,650 With cricket, you stand there in the outfield, 761 00:42:14,690 --> 00:42:18,170 the ball, super-heated from re-entry, 762 00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:20,090 is coming, "Ah, ah, ah," 763 00:42:20,130 --> 00:42:22,690 and then it always lands right on the end of your... 764 00:42:22,730 --> 00:42:24,730 - "Gah!" - That finger? 765 00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:26,930 - Yeah, and everyone shouts. - That's convenient. 766 00:42:26,970 --> 00:42:29,650 Everybody shouts, and you drop the ball, 767 00:42:29,690 --> 00:42:31,850 and you're batting and some enormous man... 768 00:42:31,890 --> 00:42:34,370 It's miserable, it goes on, as you say, five days. 769 00:42:34,410 --> 00:42:36,290 Actually, before we move on, 770 00:42:36,330 --> 00:42:38,690 perhaps you could explain to the British viewers 771 00:42:38,730 --> 00:42:40,410 what baseball is. 772 00:42:40,450 --> 00:42:41,650 It's not much more exciting. 773 00:42:45,810 --> 00:42:47,450 - I've seen... - It's a little faster. 774 00:42:47,490 --> 00:42:48,930 I've seen clips of it in films, 775 00:42:48,970 --> 00:42:50,930 like Good Will Hunting, there's a scene of it. 776 00:42:50,970 --> 00:42:52,250 It's rounders. 777 00:42:54,210 --> 00:42:56,530 - Now, I just learned... - It is rounders, isn't it? 778 00:42:56,570 --> 00:42:58,450 I just learned what rounders was today, 779 00:42:58,490 --> 00:43:01,210 and in all fairness, no, no, it's not like that. 780 00:43:01,250 --> 00:43:03,450 Men play this sport as well. 781 00:43:03,490 --> 00:43:07,130 Can you be drunk while playing baseball? 782 00:43:07,170 --> 00:43:09,650 - You can be, I guess, yeah. - Cos you are... 783 00:43:09,690 --> 00:43:11,250 Everyone is in cricket, I presume. 784 00:43:11,290 --> 00:43:13,730 We're all piss-heads. Cricketers are piss-heads. 785 00:43:13,770 --> 00:43:15,330 The great celebrated cricketers, 786 00:43:15,370 --> 00:43:17,770 the Flintoffs, the Warnes, piss-heads. 787 00:43:17,810 --> 00:43:20,490 Piss-heads? - Piss-heads, yeah. 788 00:43:20,530 --> 00:43:22,570 - It's OK. - You can say that? 789 00:43:22,610 --> 00:43:23,850 Or as we call them, ambassadors. 790 00:43:27,610 --> 00:43:29,690 With pneumonia. That's what it is. 791 00:43:32,810 --> 00:43:35,010 I was astonished to read the other day 792 00:43:35,050 --> 00:43:37,690 about the England cricket team and how... 793 00:43:37,730 --> 00:43:39,690 Actually, the Australian cricket team as well, 794 00:43:39,730 --> 00:43:41,450 I presume it's the same in South Africa, 795 00:43:41,490 --> 00:43:44,450 is how much drinking went on at the "tea break". 796 00:43:44,490 --> 00:43:46,010 Yeah. There's a world record 797 00:43:46,050 --> 00:43:48,530 for the amount of alcohol consumed on an aeroplane 798 00:43:48,570 --> 00:43:51,330 by a cricketer from Australia for the Ashes, 799 00:43:51,370 --> 00:43:54,490 and there was an Australian cricketer drank 52 beers 800 00:43:54,530 --> 00:43:56,370 on his way over from Australia. 801 00:43:56,410 --> 00:43:58,010 That's aggressive. That's aggressive. 802 00:43:58,050 --> 00:43:59,490 That's a big amount. 803 00:43:59,530 --> 00:44:01,530 - That's a big amount. - That's a lot of drunk. 804 00:44:01,570 --> 00:44:04,570 Now, we must move on to cars, if we may, 805 00:44:04,610 --> 00:44:06,570 - having covered the sport. - Sure. 806 00:44:06,610 --> 00:44:09,210 Maybe begin with you, Brian, OK? 807 00:44:09,250 --> 00:44:11,010 You had, I think it's fair to say, 808 00:44:11,050 --> 00:44:13,730 an inauspicious start to your driving career. 809 00:44:13,770 --> 00:44:15,610 It wasn't the best start, no. 810 00:44:15,650 --> 00:44:18,890 So, 16, got my licence. 811 00:44:18,930 --> 00:44:22,490 First day, I got a speeding ticket, that was expected. 812 00:44:22,530 --> 00:44:24,650 Second day, though, it's about 1am, 813 00:44:24,690 --> 00:44:26,890 apparently we have a curfew I didn't know about, 814 00:44:26,930 --> 00:44:28,970 you have to be in bed by a certain time. 815 00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:31,090 As a 16-year-old, I'm thinking, "No, I don't." 816 00:44:31,130 --> 00:44:33,730 So I rolled through the stop sign, 817 00:44:33,770 --> 00:44:35,810 and I see the blue lights, and I'm thinking, 818 00:44:35,850 --> 00:44:39,050 "I'm in a '94 Thunderbird, this is a V8 engine." 819 00:44:39,090 --> 00:44:40,850 So I speed. 820 00:44:40,890 --> 00:44:42,490 Now I'm getting in a police chase. 821 00:44:42,530 --> 00:44:44,530 - Now the adrenaline's going. - Second day? 822 00:44:44,570 --> 00:44:45,890 The second day. 823 00:44:45,930 --> 00:44:47,610 I'm driving around my neighbourhood, 824 00:44:47,650 --> 00:44:49,530 and I accidentally hit an electrical box 825 00:44:49,570 --> 00:44:51,930 and the power goes out and I feel really bad. 826 00:44:53,490 --> 00:44:55,010 But I left this guy in the dust. 827 00:44:55,050 --> 00:44:59,050 Like, I got all the way to my driveway. 828 00:44:59,090 --> 00:45:00,770 But because I turned the keys off... 829 00:45:00,810 --> 00:45:03,410 The car was automatic lights. 830 00:45:04,610 --> 00:45:06,770 So the cop just followed the lights 831 00:45:06,810 --> 00:45:09,410 and arrested me in my driveway, my front yard. 832 00:45:09,450 --> 00:45:11,610 And so what do you get for that, for... 833 00:45:11,650 --> 00:45:14,810 What do you get? You get to go to jail, you get a free ride. 834 00:45:16,570 --> 00:45:18,170 And I'm amazed they pull you over, 835 00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:21,210 cos you look like an accountant, I mean... 836 00:45:21,250 --> 00:45:24,170 This is a slow Tuesday. See me on the weekends! 837 00:45:24,210 --> 00:45:27,490 So, Kevin, your first car was a Nissan... 838 00:45:27,530 --> 00:45:29,490 - Pulsar. - Which is a bit boring. 839 00:45:29,530 --> 00:45:31,930 It's not as good as his V8 Thunderbird, is it? 840 00:45:31,970 --> 00:45:33,930 It is boring, apart from a couple of gadgets. 841 00:45:33,970 --> 00:45:35,170 I got a couple of gadgets 842 00:45:35,210 --> 00:45:38,210 that were put in by my late grandfather. 843 00:45:38,250 --> 00:45:40,650 And in South Africa, the crime rate's pretty severe, 844 00:45:40,690 --> 00:45:43,810 so there was a switch he had put underneath the ignition 845 00:45:43,850 --> 00:45:45,890 you had to flip before you could turn the car. 846 00:45:45,930 --> 00:45:48,130 If you didn't flip it within 20 seconds, the car... 847 00:45:48,170 --> 00:45:50,810 Would explode, killing everybody within 40 yards. 848 00:45:50,850 --> 00:45:53,370 - That's safe! - The South African way. 849 00:45:53,410 --> 00:45:54,970 There was another one, 850 00:45:55,010 --> 00:45:56,850 every time you put it into reverse, "Doo, doo, doo." 851 00:45:56,890 --> 00:45:59,010 I'm a cool 18-year-old driving around Durban, 852 00:45:59,050 --> 00:46:01,810 I put it in reverse, everyone goes, "Where's the truck?" 853 00:46:03,210 --> 00:46:05,210 It was a little red Nissan Pulsar, 854 00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:06,970 "Doo, doo, doo, doo," out of it. 855 00:46:07,010 --> 00:46:09,450 So really, you're basically a slightly more wild driver. 856 00:46:09,490 --> 00:46:12,010 Did you not buy a police car at one stage? 857 00:46:12,050 --> 00:46:15,010 I did have a police car. 858 00:46:15,050 --> 00:46:17,810 And I did get pulled over in that. So... 859 00:46:17,850 --> 00:46:20,170 Again, why would you get pulled over? 860 00:46:20,210 --> 00:46:21,850 It wasn't my fault, though. 861 00:46:21,890 --> 00:46:24,490 They said I was trying to impersonate a police officer, 862 00:46:24,530 --> 00:46:26,850 which I wasn't, it was just a cool car to drive in. 863 00:46:26,890 --> 00:46:30,610 I may have pulled a friend over as a joke. 864 00:46:30,650 --> 00:46:32,930 - But who wouldn't? - Did you have sirens and all? 865 00:46:32,970 --> 00:46:33,970 Yeah, you have sirens. 866 00:46:35,570 --> 00:46:37,130 Have you ever gone anywhere in a car 867 00:46:37,170 --> 00:46:39,930 and not been pulled over by the police? 868 00:46:39,970 --> 00:46:42,130 Just thinking, going back to the sporting thing, 869 00:46:42,170 --> 00:46:44,450 when you played cricket briefly in India, 870 00:46:44,490 --> 00:46:46,650 you managed to get into trouble with that one. 871 00:46:46,690 --> 00:46:48,530 - Yeah, and felt really bad. - Really? 872 00:46:48,570 --> 00:46:51,850 So, well, where I was, it was just a large field 873 00:46:51,890 --> 00:46:53,850 and there might have been 100 games going on, 874 00:46:53,890 --> 00:46:56,410 all the kids from around local playing, 875 00:46:56,450 --> 00:46:58,090 and they said, "Hey, you wanna try?" 876 00:46:58,130 --> 00:47:00,210 So no one tells me any of these rules, 877 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:01,570 so there's these three little... 878 00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,530 - What do you call, wickets? - Wickets. 879 00:47:03,570 --> 00:47:04,890 - Stumps. - "OK, what do I do?" 880 00:47:04,930 --> 00:47:07,010 They give me this paddle-looking thing, 881 00:47:07,050 --> 00:47:09,250 and like, "Just stand there, 882 00:47:09,290 --> 00:47:11,050 and then this guy's gonna throw to you." 883 00:47:11,090 --> 00:47:13,730 He throws it, it hits the ground, I'm like, "What? 884 00:47:13,770 --> 00:47:15,690 That's a bad pitch." And it hits the wickets, 885 00:47:15,730 --> 00:47:17,370 and all the kids start laughing at me. 886 00:47:17,410 --> 00:47:20,090 "What are you guys laughing at? Give me another shot!" 887 00:47:20,130 --> 00:47:23,050 So I stand up, pff, just absolutely destroy it. 888 00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:26,210 It leaves the park, it hits an apartment building, 889 00:47:26,250 --> 00:47:29,690 and I'm just like, "I'm the greatest!" 890 00:47:29,730 --> 00:47:31,890 The guy that brought me there told me 891 00:47:31,930 --> 00:47:33,530 that's the only ball that they have. 892 00:47:36,130 --> 00:47:39,610 And immediately I just went, "Oh. 893 00:47:39,650 --> 00:47:41,530 I feel terrible." 894 00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:44,650 "We've had that ball in our town for three generations." 895 00:47:44,690 --> 00:47:46,210 - They would have. - Treasure it. 896 00:47:46,250 --> 00:47:49,810 Now, going back to cars, you, at one stage, 897 00:47:49,850 --> 00:47:52,850 as I understand it, had a Vauxhall Vectra. 898 00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:54,010 I did. 899 00:47:54,050 --> 00:47:56,050 And you said to our researcher 900 00:47:56,090 --> 00:47:57,970 when they called you the other day, 901 00:47:58,010 --> 00:48:01,810 "I have nothing particularly interesting to say about that." 902 00:48:01,850 --> 00:48:04,210 I've been known to be a straight-shooter. 903 00:48:04,250 --> 00:48:06,970 Put it there. I once had to do a TV show 904 00:48:07,010 --> 00:48:08,530 where I was asked to review one of those, 905 00:48:08,570 --> 00:48:10,370 and couldn't think of a thing. 906 00:48:10,410 --> 00:48:13,010 It was four wheels and a seat. 907 00:48:14,210 --> 00:48:15,450 Why did you have one? 908 00:48:15,490 --> 00:48:17,930 The team were sponsored by Vauxhall. 909 00:48:17,970 --> 00:48:19,690 You were sponsored by Vauxhall? 910 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,330 Oh, I'd have gone and done another sport. 911 00:48:23,810 --> 00:48:26,410 Now, we must get on to why you are here. 912 00:48:26,450 --> 00:48:29,770 Obviously, you're only the second group of people we've had around the track. 913 00:48:29,810 --> 00:48:31,570 - How was it out there? - It was... 914 00:48:31,610 --> 00:48:34,010 I found it comfortable on the tar, 915 00:48:34,050 --> 00:48:36,970 but as soon as we veered off there, it was difficult. 916 00:48:37,010 --> 00:48:38,930 - It was intimidating. - Is it? 917 00:48:38,970 --> 00:48:41,810 I loved it! 918 00:48:41,850 --> 00:48:43,730 There were grass clippings all over the car, 919 00:48:43,770 --> 00:48:47,050 I just took it off-road a little bit, it was fun. 920 00:48:47,090 --> 00:48:48,290 Yeah, I've been hearing. 921 00:48:48,330 --> 00:48:49,970 We can get it mended for next week. 922 00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:51,810 Kevin, we're gonna see your lap first. 923 00:48:51,850 --> 00:48:54,250 OK, let's bring it up and see how you got on. 924 00:48:54,290 --> 00:48:56,090 Is that a slow-motion start? 925 00:48:56,130 --> 00:48:58,850 Oh, no, you're building up speed as you cross the line. 926 00:48:58,890 --> 00:49:00,490 Come on, Kevin! 927 00:49:00,530 --> 00:49:02,330 Ooh, that's a determined-looking face. 928 00:49:02,370 --> 00:49:03,930 Clipping the corner, 929 00:49:03,970 --> 00:49:06,250 but keeping two wheels on the track, nice to see. 930 00:49:06,290 --> 00:49:08,650 Yes, you've done what I do. You brake there 931 00:49:08,690 --> 00:49:10,210 and then you've got a slingshot 932 00:49:10,250 --> 00:49:12,330 into what we're calling the Difficult Bit. 933 00:49:12,370 --> 00:49:14,690 That's when it goes really skatey as you... 934 00:49:14,730 --> 00:49:16,210 You've really gotta pay... 935 00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:17,850 Ooh, I say, that's rather good. 936 00:49:17,890 --> 00:49:19,690 For a man who grew up with a Pulsar. 937 00:49:19,730 --> 00:49:22,530 Kevin, you absolute numpty! 938 00:49:22,570 --> 00:49:25,210 Right, oh, look at that, it's got the tail out. 939 00:49:25,250 --> 00:49:27,530 Yeah, got the tail out, got him going good. 940 00:49:27,570 --> 00:49:29,130 Traction control saved it, 941 00:49:29,170 --> 00:49:31,970 now you can floor it through to Difficult Bit 2. 942 00:49:33,930 --> 00:49:35,530 Oh, she's going all right. Nicely done. 943 00:49:35,570 --> 00:49:37,170 - That was tough. - Yeah. 944 00:49:37,210 --> 00:49:39,410 It is a tough bit. This is really slippery 945 00:49:39,450 --> 00:49:40,930 when you come back on the Tarmac, 946 00:49:40,970 --> 00:49:42,370 you think that's OK, and it isn't. 947 00:49:44,450 --> 00:49:46,290 Tyres being absolutely tortured, 948 00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:47,610 that's looking nice. 949 00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:49,090 Right, onto the straight. 950 00:49:49,130 --> 00:49:51,370 Come on, baby! Come on, baby! 951 00:49:51,410 --> 00:49:54,530 It's more exciting than cricket, way more! 952 00:49:54,570 --> 00:49:56,330 As is being asleep. 953 00:49:56,370 --> 00:49:58,210 Were you flat-out through there? 954 00:49:58,250 --> 00:50:00,250 I was flat-out through there, then I messed this up. 955 00:50:00,290 --> 00:50:01,850 Ooh! I'm not... 956 00:50:01,890 --> 00:50:03,490 Yeah, I messed it up, I missed the curve. 957 00:50:03,530 --> 00:50:04,930 Ballsy flat-out through there, 958 00:50:04,970 --> 00:50:07,010 but you crossed the line, you did it. 959 00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:10,410 I got it. Time? 960 00:50:11,570 --> 00:50:12,570 So... 961 00:50:13,770 --> 00:50:15,650 Time? 962 00:50:15,690 --> 00:50:17,210 - Patience. - Time? 963 00:50:17,250 --> 00:50:19,730 You're a cricketer, we know you have patience. 964 00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:21,010 OK. 965 00:50:21,050 --> 00:50:22,930 Because what else is there to have? 966 00:50:22,970 --> 00:50:24,930 - It wasn't bad. - No, it looked OK. 967 00:50:24,970 --> 00:50:26,530 - Brian. - Yes. 968 00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:30,730 - Want to see his lap? - Yeah. 969 00:50:30,770 --> 00:50:32,170 Come on, let's see Brian's. 970 00:50:33,970 --> 00:50:35,410 Oh. 971 00:50:35,450 --> 00:50:37,290 Right, no creeping across the line. 972 00:50:37,330 --> 00:50:41,210 And here we go! Yee! 973 00:50:41,250 --> 00:50:43,890 That is a colourful comb... That's a... 974 00:50:43,930 --> 00:50:47,010 Cheat. He's cheating! Cheat! 975 00:50:47,050 --> 00:50:48,730 He's a cheat! 976 00:50:48,770 --> 00:50:52,250 It's not Formula One, 977 00:50:52,290 --> 00:50:55,210 we won't penalise him for this, we have no stewards. 978 00:50:55,250 --> 00:50:56,530 Oh! 979 00:50:56,570 --> 00:50:59,010 Oh, my God! Coming in hot! 980 00:51:00,170 --> 00:51:01,450 Holding it well, though, 981 00:51:01,490 --> 00:51:04,130 and, I must say, that is exuberant. 982 00:51:04,170 --> 00:51:07,650 He's on fire! 983 00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,610 Into the gravel cell, the banked gravel corner, 984 00:51:10,650 --> 00:51:12,650 nicely done through there. 985 00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:15,330 Look at those stones coming off the back of that. 986 00:51:15,370 --> 00:51:16,890 Difficult Bit 2. 987 00:51:16,930 --> 00:51:19,010 Floor it. 988 00:51:19,050 --> 00:51:21,050 You don't think this is gonna be slippery but it is. 989 00:51:21,090 --> 00:51:22,890 Every time, that happens. 990 00:51:22,930 --> 00:51:24,690 Nicely held, though, Brian. 991 00:51:24,730 --> 00:51:26,410 You really do get around. 992 00:51:26,450 --> 00:51:29,770 And there he is, onto the main straight and relaxing. 993 00:51:29,810 --> 00:51:31,850 Yoo! 994 00:51:31,890 --> 00:51:33,650 Well, not completely relaxing. 995 00:51:33,690 --> 00:51:35,490 Were you flat through here, as well? 996 00:51:35,530 --> 00:51:37,450 Ooh. 997 00:51:37,490 --> 00:51:39,770 I took it... JEREMY: Flat-out, that's good. 998 00:51:39,810 --> 00:51:40,850 Braking hard. 999 00:51:42,490 --> 00:51:44,210 Not bad at all. 1000 00:51:44,250 --> 00:51:46,370 And there we are, across the line, that's both of them. 1001 00:51:55,970 --> 00:51:59,810 Right. Now, I've got your times here. 1002 00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:02,730 I'll tell you one thing, they're very, very close. 1003 00:52:02,770 --> 00:52:05,210 So you were kind of smooth and crickety. 1004 00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:08,170 - Yeah. - You were kind of exuberant. 1005 00:52:08,210 --> 00:52:11,330 - Yeah. - They are ridiculously close. 1006 00:52:11,370 --> 00:52:13,250 - OK, here we go. - The suspense. 1007 00:52:13,290 --> 00:52:14,570 - I mean, come on. - Yeah. 1008 00:52:14,610 --> 00:52:16,850 - Killing me. - OK, Kevin. 1009 00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:21,090 - 1:17.2. - 1:17.2? 1010 00:52:21,130 --> 00:52:23,850 So at the moment, you're the fastest man 1011 00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:26,890 who's ever been round our track. 1012 00:52:26,930 --> 00:52:28,450 - Until... - This precise moment. 1013 00:52:28,490 --> 00:52:30,130 Until about 30 seconds. 1014 00:52:36,730 --> 00:52:38,050 Brian Wilson... 1015 00:52:38,090 --> 00:52:41,930 - Ooh. - 1:17... 1016 00:52:41,970 --> 00:52:43,850 - Ooh. - Point one. 1017 00:52:43,890 --> 00:52:46,530 - Give it to me. - ..five. 1018 00:52:46,570 --> 00:52:47,890 - Damn it! - Ah! 1019 00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:51,210 Seriously, 0.3 of a second. 1020 00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:52,250 Well done, sir. 1021 00:52:57,210 --> 00:53:00,610 - That's close. - That is nice. 1022 00:53:00,650 --> 00:53:02,890 That is a nice result, I'm very pleased with that. 1023 00:53:02,930 --> 00:53:06,010 And there we are, you are still the fastest man 1024 00:53:06,050 --> 00:53:07,370 who's been round our track. 1025 00:53:07,410 --> 00:53:09,290 You have come a long way for nothing. 1026 00:53:09,330 --> 00:53:11,170 Thank you. 1027 00:53:11,210 --> 00:53:13,690 - Literally nothing... - Much appreciated. 1028 00:53:13,730 --> 00:53:15,850 So, honestly, I mean it's been an absolute joy 1029 00:53:15,890 --> 00:53:18,170 - having you both here... - Came here for the sheep. 1030 00:53:18,210 --> 00:53:20,090 Yeah, no, take one home. 1031 00:53:20,130 --> 00:53:22,250 So there we are, ladies and gentlemen, 1032 00:53:22,290 --> 00:53:25,570 Brian Wilson, and the fastest person who makes a living 1033 00:53:25,610 --> 00:53:27,930 by throwing and hitting and catching small balls, 1034 00:53:27,970 --> 00:53:30,370 Kevin Pietersen! 1035 00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:33,890 Thank you, sir. Thank you. 1036 00:53:37,730 --> 00:53:38,970 Right. 1037 00:53:39,010 --> 00:53:43,730 Now, this week we are having a race 1038 00:53:43,770 --> 00:53:46,890 from Central Park in New York to Niagara Falls, 1039 00:53:46,930 --> 00:53:49,530 and it's Jeremy in the new Ford GT 1040 00:53:49,570 --> 00:53:51,210 against James and me 1041 00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:53,570 in a whole selection of public transport. 1042 00:53:53,610 --> 00:53:55,250 Yes, and when we left the action, 1043 00:53:55,290 --> 00:53:57,690 Jeremy was miles ahead in the car, 1044 00:53:57,730 --> 00:54:00,290 slowly going deaf from the drone of the engine. 1045 00:54:00,330 --> 00:54:03,010 But now we were about to haul him in 1046 00:54:03,050 --> 00:54:06,210 as we boarded the flight to Buffalo. 1047 00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:16,890 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1048 00:54:20,330 --> 00:54:22,410 - Ow! - Sorry. 1049 00:54:22,450 --> 00:54:26,130 Get out of the way. Get out of the way, I'm in a race. 1050 00:54:27,410 --> 00:54:29,370 Hello. Hello. 1051 00:54:29,410 --> 00:54:32,210 Don't get in the way of someone 1052 00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:35,730 who's just given up a 43-year smoking habit. 1053 00:54:35,770 --> 00:54:37,810 Meanwhile... 1054 00:54:37,850 --> 00:54:39,290 Has he got to go in that? 1055 00:54:39,330 --> 00:54:40,330 Yes. 1056 00:54:44,010 --> 00:54:45,890 OK, see you on board. 1057 00:54:48,130 --> 00:54:50,610 - Welcome aboard. - Hello. Thank you. 1058 00:54:50,650 --> 00:54:51,650 Oh, God. 1059 00:54:52,890 --> 00:54:54,610 Hello. Hello. 1060 00:54:57,810 --> 00:54:59,410 Yeah. 1061 00:54:59,450 --> 00:55:00,810 OK. 1062 00:55:07,450 --> 00:55:10,050 Having covered 160 miles, 1063 00:55:10,090 --> 00:55:14,930 the GT's tiny tank was now nearly empty. 1064 00:55:14,970 --> 00:55:20,330 This is a splash-and-dash. Right, petroleum. 1065 00:55:20,370 --> 00:55:21,610 Oh, please let it not be 1066 00:55:21,650 --> 00:55:23,490 one of those stupid American ones 1067 00:55:23,530 --> 00:55:25,770 where I've gotta pay first, I don't know how much I want. 1068 00:55:28,330 --> 00:55:29,890 Sadly, it was. 1069 00:55:29,930 --> 00:55:32,970 No. Not a debit card. 1070 00:55:34,130 --> 00:55:36,090 I haven't got one... Ah. 1071 00:55:39,250 --> 00:55:40,970 What? 1072 00:55:41,010 --> 00:55:43,370 All exits are marked with a sign overhead... 1073 00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:46,490 It's very unusual having business class at the back, isn't it? 1074 00:55:46,530 --> 00:55:48,770 Imagine what it's like at the front. 1075 00:55:48,810 --> 00:55:50,570 Must be sort of like there. 1076 00:55:50,610 --> 00:55:52,970 It's quite good if you sit at the back in business class, 1077 00:55:53,010 --> 00:55:54,530 survey the whole aeroplane. 1078 00:55:55,890 --> 00:55:57,810 This is an Embraer 190. 1079 00:55:57,850 --> 00:55:59,690 I can tell you a bit about these actually. 1080 00:55:59,730 --> 00:56:01,090 Prepare for departure. 1081 00:56:01,130 --> 00:56:03,770 Oh, dear, you can't, he's talking. 1082 00:56:03,810 --> 00:56:05,890 Hello. Can I... The pump says... 1083 00:56:05,930 --> 00:56:07,490 It's just coming up "not approved". 1084 00:56:07,530 --> 00:56:09,650 Does it have a chip? It's probably the chip. 1085 00:56:09,690 --> 00:56:11,170 How do I pay? Cos... 1086 00:56:11,210 --> 00:56:13,090 I'll turn the pump on, you pump what you need 1087 00:56:13,130 --> 00:56:15,250 and I'll let you run the card when you're done. 1088 00:56:15,290 --> 00:56:17,570 Thank you so much. 1089 00:56:17,610 --> 00:56:19,570 If you talk like Hugh Grant, you can get anywhere. 1090 00:56:25,850 --> 00:56:28,450 Any minute now, Richard Hammond and James May 1091 00:56:28,490 --> 00:56:31,530 will be thinking, "Mmm, a beer, I think." 1092 00:56:34,050 --> 00:56:37,010 Anyway, here we go, let's catch him up. 1093 00:56:37,050 --> 00:56:38,250 Definitely. 1094 00:56:44,130 --> 00:56:47,250 I think we should celebrate our progress right now, 1095 00:56:47,290 --> 00:56:48,850 as we're moving so well. 1096 00:56:48,890 --> 00:56:50,290 - Hello. - Hello. 1097 00:56:50,330 --> 00:56:52,450 - Hi. - Can we have beer? 1098 00:56:52,490 --> 00:56:55,770 - Two beers, please. - Let me see. 1099 00:56:55,810 --> 00:56:57,570 So, as it turns out, 1100 00:56:57,610 --> 00:57:00,450 unfortunately I won't be able to serve you any beer today. 1101 00:57:00,490 --> 00:57:02,410 Can I offer you a water, Coke, Sprite? 1102 00:57:02,450 --> 00:57:04,490 - You've got no beer? - No, I'm sorry. 1103 00:57:04,530 --> 00:57:07,370 Wine. Wine? Two glasses of wine? White wine. 1104 00:57:07,410 --> 00:57:09,010 I'm not quite too sure why, 1105 00:57:09,050 --> 00:57:10,810 but unfortunately I won't be able to. 1106 00:57:10,850 --> 00:57:12,490 Can I get you some other beverages? 1107 00:57:14,410 --> 00:57:17,410 However, while they were squashed and thirsty, 1108 00:57:17,450 --> 00:57:19,250 there was no getting round the fact 1109 00:57:19,290 --> 00:57:23,170 that they were doing 500mph, and I wasn't. 1110 00:57:25,330 --> 00:57:29,050 Come on, fellow Ford driver, get out of the way, please. 1111 00:57:30,370 --> 00:57:31,610 You've got a Ford! 1112 00:57:34,450 --> 00:57:36,370 We are gonna be reeling him in now. 1113 00:57:36,410 --> 00:57:38,410 We're not gonna get stuck behind anything. 1114 00:57:38,450 --> 00:57:39,610 - No. - In traffic. 1115 00:57:39,650 --> 00:57:41,970 No. Nobody is gonna have a puncture. 1116 00:57:42,010 --> 00:57:43,610 Or shed the load from a pick-up truck. 1117 00:57:43,650 --> 00:57:44,650 No. 1118 00:57:48,050 --> 00:57:49,890 My biggest problem, though, 1119 00:57:49,930 --> 00:57:53,770 was the woeful lane discipline. 1120 00:57:53,810 --> 00:57:56,530 And you're gonna stay in that lane, are you, really? 1121 00:57:58,090 --> 00:57:59,770 Undertaking. 1122 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:03,370 This is allowed in the United States and America. 1123 00:58:05,890 --> 00:58:10,850 You can see why. People don't use their mirrors. 1124 00:58:10,890 --> 00:58:12,690 It was a problem. 1125 00:58:12,730 --> 00:58:16,530 And then there was a bigger one. 1126 00:58:16,570 --> 00:58:20,730 What the hell's this? I'm in a traffic jam. 1127 00:58:20,770 --> 00:58:24,930 A bloody traffic jam. No. 1128 00:58:24,970 --> 00:58:27,090 We're about to begin our descent 1129 00:58:27,130 --> 00:58:28,370 into the Buffalo airport. 1130 00:58:28,410 --> 00:58:30,050 We'll be on the ground shortly. 1131 00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:31,410 Look. 1132 00:58:31,450 --> 00:58:33,850 Is there a fat idiot in a very fast Ford? 1133 00:58:33,890 --> 00:58:36,130 - Nope. - Good. 1134 00:58:38,930 --> 00:58:40,650 Why is there a traffic jam? And it's a bad one. 1135 00:58:40,690 --> 00:58:41,970 Look, we're all stopped. 1136 00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:49,290 Come on. Come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on. 1137 00:58:51,810 --> 00:58:54,650 Go, go, go, go, go. Chair, please. 1138 00:58:56,250 --> 00:58:58,090 Oh, shit. 1139 00:59:03,770 --> 00:59:06,490 There we go. I'm in. 1140 00:59:07,970 --> 00:59:12,330 Blimey! Yeah, that is... I am safe. 1141 00:59:12,370 --> 00:59:15,130 Incident. There's been an accident. 1142 00:59:15,170 --> 00:59:17,850 There's the problem. Jesus. 1143 00:59:20,250 --> 00:59:23,210 We have some time to make up. 1144 00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:26,650 Seeing an accident like that normally slows you down, 1145 00:59:26,690 --> 00:59:27,890 but I couldn't do that. 1146 00:59:27,930 --> 00:59:32,170 I was upholding the honour of the car. 1147 00:59:32,210 --> 00:59:35,330 They should be landing in about ten minutes. 1148 00:59:37,530 --> 00:59:38,810 Oh, no. 1149 00:59:38,850 --> 00:59:41,410 May? You've landed? 1150 00:59:41,450 --> 00:59:44,490 - Yes! Yes. - James, too loud. Too loud. 1151 00:59:44,530 --> 00:59:46,690 - Shit. - Where are you? 1152 00:59:46,730 --> 00:59:50,010 I'm 130 miles from Buffalo. 1153 00:59:50,050 --> 00:59:53,650 He's 130 miles away. 1154 00:59:53,690 --> 00:59:55,290 Well, you better get a move on then 1155 00:59:55,330 --> 00:59:58,010 in your 200 and whatever it is mile-an-hour car. 1156 00:59:58,050 --> 00:59:59,570 I... Oh. 1157 00:59:59,610 --> 01:00:01,090 - That's... - Keep going. 1158 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:03,130 Oh, for God's.... Shut up. 1159 01:00:03,170 --> 01:00:04,450 Bye. 1160 01:00:04,490 --> 01:00:08,130 Right, where do we get the bus? 1161 01:00:08,170 --> 01:00:11,410 We now only had a couple of dozen miles to go. 1162 01:00:11,450 --> 01:00:13,130 We'd catch a bus into Buffalo 1163 01:00:13,170 --> 01:00:14,930 and then another to the finish line 1164 01:00:14,970 --> 01:00:16,410 at the Niagara Falls. 1165 01:00:19,130 --> 01:00:20,850 Trying to think where this went wrong. 1166 01:00:20,890 --> 01:00:23,170 George Washington Bridge, that didn't help. 1167 01:00:23,210 --> 01:00:26,890 The accident and the traffic jam that resulted, that didn't help. 1168 01:00:26,930 --> 01:00:28,490 But I think the main problem 1169 01:00:28,530 --> 01:00:31,010 is that Jet Blue managed to do 1170 01:00:31,050 --> 01:00:35,850 an hour and 15 minute flight in an hour. 1171 01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:37,730 Oh, I say. 1172 01:00:37,770 --> 01:00:39,770 Oh, I see, it folds out like that? 1173 01:00:39,810 --> 01:00:42,090 - That's very clever. - Here we go. 1174 01:00:42,130 --> 01:00:44,850 - Thank you. - Aligned. 1175 01:00:44,890 --> 01:00:47,610 There's a wheelchair section right over there. -Thank you very much. 1176 01:00:50,210 --> 01:00:53,330 Come on. Yay! 1177 01:00:53,370 --> 01:00:57,410 The Trump enthusiast has pulled over! 1178 01:00:58,930 --> 01:01:02,210 Right, let's find out where he is. 1179 01:01:05,130 --> 01:01:08,210 It's Mr Bell End. Hammond, where are you? 1180 01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:10,770 Leaving the airport on a bus. 1181 01:01:10,810 --> 01:01:14,250 Right. Well, I'm 90 miles behind you. 1182 01:01:14,290 --> 01:01:18,490 You're gonna have to make that up in no time. 1183 01:01:18,530 --> 01:01:21,250 How far are you from Niagara Falls now? 1184 01:01:21,290 --> 01:01:23,570 23 miles. 1185 01:01:25,170 --> 01:01:27,290 I'd say you could be doomed. 1186 01:01:27,330 --> 01:01:30,370 Good luck, we're getting closer. Bye. 1187 01:01:30,410 --> 01:01:31,410 He's never gonna do it. 1188 01:01:33,370 --> 01:01:38,530 Oh! I don't want this car to lose, I properly love it. 1189 01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:39,970 It's just so exciting. 1190 01:01:40,010 --> 01:01:42,610 All the things that make it bad and annoying 1191 01:01:42,650 --> 01:01:44,850 make it brilliant and exciting. 1192 01:01:44,890 --> 01:01:47,970 The noise, and the ride, and the roughness. 1193 01:01:48,010 --> 01:01:54,090 It's just raucous, raw, bareback, unplugged energy. 1194 01:01:56,570 --> 01:02:01,250 I want it to win, I want it to beat the plane. 1195 01:02:01,290 --> 01:02:04,610 But to do that, it would have to do 113 miles 1196 01:02:04,650 --> 01:02:08,410 in the time it takes a bus to do 23. 1197 01:02:08,450 --> 01:02:10,130 Stop requested. 1198 01:02:10,170 --> 01:02:11,250 Luckily, however, 1199 01:02:11,290 --> 01:02:14,010 buses have other people on them. 1200 01:02:14,050 --> 01:02:16,250 I don't like this bit. What do you do? 1201 01:02:16,290 --> 01:02:17,890 You just have to sit here. 1202 01:02:17,930 --> 01:02:20,490 Yeah. Bus travel is tricky to like, isn't it? 1203 01:02:20,530 --> 01:02:22,370 And we've gotta stop and change buses, 1204 01:02:22,410 --> 01:02:25,450 and if we lose ten, 15 minutes waiting for the next bus... 1205 01:02:25,490 --> 01:02:27,050 I know, it's not in the bag. 1206 01:02:29,570 --> 01:02:31,090 76 miles. 1207 01:02:33,170 --> 01:02:34,930 Stop requested. 1208 01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:37,890 Who pulled the... 1209 01:02:37,930 --> 01:02:42,330 Well, it is a bus with... Can't be rude to customers. 1210 01:02:42,370 --> 01:02:44,890 Nobody else pull the string until we've got off, please. 1211 01:02:44,930 --> 01:02:45,970 Let's just go all the way. 1212 01:02:53,130 --> 01:02:55,290 Hello. Where are you? 1213 01:02:55,330 --> 01:02:58,890 I think about 55 miles away from the finish line. 1214 01:02:58,930 --> 01:03:00,730 - 55? - Yeah. 1215 01:03:00,770 --> 01:03:02,210 Right, this is gonna be close. 1216 01:03:02,250 --> 01:03:04,730 Have you not got to Buffalo yet? 1217 01:03:04,770 --> 01:03:06,570 No, no, we're in Buffalo, 1218 01:03:06,610 --> 01:03:09,250 but we haven't got to the bus change point. 1219 01:03:09,290 --> 01:03:13,930 Oh, really? Oh! Does your bus keep stopping? 1220 01:03:13,970 --> 01:03:16,170 Well, of course it does, it's a bloody bus! 1221 01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:18,170 I haven't been on one since I was eight. 1222 01:03:18,210 --> 01:03:20,010 That kept stopping. 1223 01:03:20,050 --> 01:03:22,330 I thought, "I won't go on another one, they're stupid." 1224 01:03:22,370 --> 01:03:24,090 - They're still the same. - Bye-bye. 1225 01:03:26,730 --> 01:03:29,570 Amazingly, I was still in the running, 1226 01:03:29,610 --> 01:03:33,650 but my furious pace meant I had to make a decision. 1227 01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:37,810 Do I drive like Al Gore would want me to drive, at 55mph, 1228 01:03:37,850 --> 01:03:39,690 and possibly make the finish line 1229 01:03:39,730 --> 01:03:41,090 without having to fill up again, 1230 01:03:41,130 --> 01:03:43,690 or do I floor it, go really quickly, 1231 01:03:43,730 --> 01:03:45,170 and have a quick splash-and-dash? 1232 01:03:46,930 --> 01:03:49,250 Do I risk running out... Oh, no, I can't. 1233 01:03:52,290 --> 01:03:54,770 Meanwhile, not that far ahead, 1234 01:03:54,810 --> 01:03:58,130 we had reached the bus station. 1235 01:03:58,170 --> 01:04:01,250 And James, incredibly, was doing running. 1236 01:04:01,290 --> 01:04:03,050 Where the hell is it? 1237 01:04:03,090 --> 01:04:05,010 Niagara Falls, Niagara Falls. 48, look. 1238 01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:06,930 It's that one there. In we go. 1239 01:04:06,970 --> 01:04:09,970 Right, we need a swift departure. 1240 01:04:10,010 --> 01:04:11,770 Hello! Oh! He's missed the ramp. 1241 01:04:12,930 --> 01:04:14,570 This is so irritating. 1242 01:04:14,610 --> 01:04:17,770 I've got 35 miles to go, that's all, 1243 01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:19,570 but I'm not gonna make it on the fuel, 1244 01:04:19,610 --> 01:04:20,850 I just know I'm not. 1245 01:04:20,890 --> 01:04:23,730 I'm gonna have to fill up. Argh! 1246 01:04:26,010 --> 01:04:28,370 - So, 15 miles from here? - Yeah. 1247 01:04:30,130 --> 01:04:34,090 It's 35 miles. Four gallons will do it. 1248 01:04:36,370 --> 01:04:38,370 That will do. 1249 01:04:40,690 --> 01:04:43,250 Now approaching Mohawk Street. 1250 01:04:43,290 --> 01:04:44,610 No need to stop. 1251 01:04:44,650 --> 01:04:46,410 No, no need to stop, we're all fine. 1252 01:04:48,010 --> 01:04:50,210 Ah, roadworks! 1253 01:04:52,770 --> 01:04:54,930 - Ten miles, Richard Hammond. - Ten miles to go? 1254 01:04:56,570 --> 01:05:00,130 Yes, joy of joys, two actual lanes open. 1255 01:05:09,170 --> 01:05:10,250 Get a bloody move on! 1256 01:05:12,570 --> 01:05:15,490 12 million people a year visit Niagara Falls. 1257 01:05:15,530 --> 01:05:17,210 Do they? 1258 01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:19,570 I want them all to get in Jeremy's way, but not ours. 1259 01:05:21,770 --> 01:05:23,010 Yes, Niagara Falls. 1260 01:05:27,290 --> 01:05:32,450 No, no, no. No, a toll. Argh! 1261 01:05:32,490 --> 01:05:34,890 Luckily, though, I had an electronic pass, 1262 01:05:34,930 --> 01:05:37,210 which made paying much faster. 1263 01:05:37,250 --> 01:05:39,650 See, Hammond, it's right there. See it? 1264 01:05:39,690 --> 01:05:41,210 - Yeah. - See the spray? 1265 01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:42,770 Yeah. 1266 01:05:46,690 --> 01:05:48,370 It's not working. No! 1267 01:05:54,730 --> 01:05:56,090 Right. 1268 01:06:02,890 --> 01:06:04,930 Stop requested. 1269 01:06:09,690 --> 01:06:11,490 - Is this it? - This is our stop. 1270 01:06:12,650 --> 01:06:14,090 - Yeah. - Right. 1271 01:06:19,490 --> 01:06:20,490 Four miles. 1272 01:06:22,970 --> 01:06:25,730 - Are you gonna have a heart attack on television? 1273 01:06:25,770 --> 01:06:26,770 Yeah. 1274 01:06:27,810 --> 01:06:29,410 Don't wanna lose this. 1275 01:06:33,170 --> 01:06:34,650 What's it say there? "Falls". 1276 01:06:47,730 --> 01:06:48,730 Right, this is it. 1277 01:06:52,210 --> 01:06:53,970 Where the hell are they? 1278 01:06:57,010 --> 01:06:59,330 There's the observation tower. 1279 01:06:59,370 --> 01:07:01,610 There is the observation tower, that's where I'm headed. 1280 01:07:03,210 --> 01:07:05,930 Dicky wheel. 1281 01:07:10,170 --> 01:07:15,170 Ah! Oh! I have been turned into Richard Hammond by six hours in that car. 1282 01:07:16,610 --> 01:07:18,730 This is it. There's the bridge thing. 1283 01:07:18,770 --> 01:07:21,130 Oh, God. Jesus. 1284 01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:23,410 - In we go. - Howdy. 1285 01:07:23,450 --> 01:07:25,010 Ooh. 1286 01:07:30,930 --> 01:07:32,610 Oh, God, so it all comes down to, 1287 01:07:32,650 --> 01:07:34,570 is he the other side of this barrier? 1288 01:07:35,890 --> 01:07:37,290 Can you get that door, Hammond? 1289 01:07:37,330 --> 01:07:39,690 Yeah, I got it, got it, got it. 1290 01:07:39,730 --> 01:07:44,970 Oh. Hang on. Oh. Look. 1291 01:07:45,010 --> 01:07:47,610 Let me sit down, sorry. Put the brake on. 1292 01:07:50,570 --> 01:07:51,650 How long you been here? 1293 01:07:51,690 --> 01:07:53,530 Long enough to do some nice pictures 1294 01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:55,770 - and some Instagram work. - Oh, good. 1295 01:07:55,810 --> 01:07:57,330 Why are you so tired? 1296 01:07:57,370 --> 01:07:59,530 I've been pushing him uphill! 1297 01:07:59,570 --> 01:08:01,810 - He doesn't like it. - He's actually sweating. 1298 01:08:01,850 --> 01:08:05,090 - He's been running! - I've run on the internet. 1299 01:08:05,130 --> 01:08:07,010 I thought he might have a heart attack. 1300 01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:11,370 James May is going to die live on TV. 1301 01:08:11,410 --> 01:08:13,890 I'm gonna do it here, just talk amongst yourselves. 1302 01:08:22,570 --> 01:08:26,290 The gloating gets worse. 1303 01:08:26,330 --> 01:08:30,930 So there we are, the answer to the question that no one was asking is: 1304 01:08:30,970 --> 01:08:35,250 Yes, the Ford GT is faster than an airliner. 1305 01:08:35,290 --> 01:08:37,210 No, it's faster than a bus. 1306 01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:39,090 And it crippled you and made you deaf. 1307 01:08:39,130 --> 01:08:41,770 He didn't exactly arrive in tip-top shape, did he? 1308 01:08:41,810 --> 01:08:43,410 No, but hang on, 1309 01:08:43,450 --> 01:08:45,650 that's because I had to push him around all day, 1310 01:08:45,690 --> 01:08:47,050 and it was like having 1311 01:08:47,090 --> 01:08:48,810 a massive wheeled suitcase with an opinion 1312 01:08:48,850 --> 01:08:51,290 that pointed at things like Rommel all the time. 1313 01:08:51,330 --> 01:08:54,090 He was the only one who had a comfortable day, actually. 1314 01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:55,170 - You were. - You were. 1315 01:08:55,210 --> 01:08:56,770 Cos the honest truth is, 1316 01:08:56,810 --> 01:09:00,130 that Ford GT went through a city and on a motorway, 1317 01:09:00,170 --> 01:09:02,290 and neither of those environments 1318 01:09:02,330 --> 01:09:03,930 is where it's really at home. 1319 01:09:03,970 --> 01:09:06,650 Yes, like I said in New York, it's a racing car. 1320 01:09:06,690 --> 01:09:10,090 Yes, which is why I'm going to get one brought over to the UK 1321 01:09:10,130 --> 01:09:13,810 and later I'm gonna thrash it round the Eboladrome. 1322 01:09:13,850 --> 01:09:15,930 - You're gonna do that? - As opposed to? 1323 01:09:15,970 --> 01:09:18,090 Well, uh... me? 1324 01:09:18,130 --> 01:09:20,930 People wanna know what it's like on a track, 1325 01:09:20,970 --> 01:09:22,370 not what it's like on its roof. 1326 01:09:24,330 --> 01:09:26,610 And on that terrible disappointment, for you, 1327 01:09:26,650 --> 01:09:27,850 it's time to end. 1328 01:09:27,890 --> 01:09:30,370 Thank you so much for watching, goodnight.