1 00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:02,170 - Hello, everyone. - Hello! 2 00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:04,090 Thank you. 3 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:10,050 - Greetings, everybody. - Wow! 4 00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:13,410 - We got a rowdy bunch in! - They are, they are. 5 00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:16,970 Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. 6 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,690 Thank you and welcome. 7 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:24,210 And, in this edition of our car show... 8 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,890 Richard steals some sun cream... 9 00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:30,290 I drink some wine... 10 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:37,810 ...and James says "40." 11 00:01:37,850 --> 00:01:38,930 40? 12 00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:47,450 All that... All that is to come. 13 00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:50,290 But, we begin with Jaguar. 14 00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:54,650 Now, us three, we love Jags because they're so... they're so roguish. 15 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:58,290 You can take a girl for dinner if you have a Jag, and then she will pay. 16 00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:01,330 You could go and stay with people for the weekend, 17 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,330 help yourself to all their belongings 18 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:08,690 and no one will mind because "you have a Jag". Exactly! 19 00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:10,250 In fact, people expect it. 20 00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:13,250 You have somebody to stay at your house who owns a Jag, 21 00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:15,970 you've got to accept you're gonna lose some paintings. 22 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,170 And some cutlery. 23 00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:19,490 The thing is, though, OK, even though a Jaguar 24 00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:22,610 is an international get-out-of-jail-free card, 25 00:02:22,650 --> 00:02:24,990 very few people actually ever buy one. 26 00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:27,786 Who here has got a Jag? One, two... 27 00:02:27,822 --> 00:02:31,742 Only three people in Britain drive Jaguars. 28 00:02:32,010 --> 00:02:33,210 It's astonishing. 29 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:37,050 Yeah, I've actually got the sales figures here and they are pretty tragic, 30 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,370 because in the five years up to 2016, 31 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:43,730 Jaguar sold 200,000 cars worldwide. 32 00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:47,810 And in the same period, Audi, Mercedes and even BMW, 33 00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:51,650 each sold over eight million. 34 00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:53,810 It's a staggering statistic, it really is. 35 00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:57,330 We were talking about this in the office the other day and Mr Wilman said, 36 00:02:57,370 --> 00:03:00,610 people don't buy Jags because they used to break down. 37 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:02,330 Yeah, but, that's just not true. 38 00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:03,890 And we decided to prove this 39 00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:07,930 by taking The Grand Tour this week to Colorado. 40 00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:31,050 The car I've chosen is, I think, the best car Jaguar ever made. 41 00:03:31,090 --> 00:03:36,330 The V8 super-charged XJR. 42 00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:39,090 It's cool without being Cool Britannia. 43 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:41,810 It's caddish without being laddish. 44 00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:45,730 It's... violent without being vicious. 45 00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:50,290 And it is just the last word in sophistication. 46 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,730 Hannibal Lecter had one and that says it all because 47 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:57,610 the last we saw of him he was on a plane, scot-free, 48 00:03:57,650 --> 00:04:02,050 eating a district attorney's head. 49 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:05,770 Soon I reached the meeting point, where I found James, 50 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,970 who'd bought an XK8 convertible. 51 00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:14,210 Here we are, look. A big cat near an old dog. 52 00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:29,210 - Greetings, May. - Moron. 53 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,330 It's not a Subaru! 54 00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:34,490 You're supposed to be upholding the reputation of the Jag driver. 55 00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:36,730 - Why have you bought that? - Because it's excellent. 56 00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:38,170 - It isn't. - It is. 57 00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,410 - This was a very poor Jaguar. - This was a very good Jaguar. 58 00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:44,410 You could go camping in the wheel arches of it! They're so high up. 59 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,250 They looked all right when they were super-charged and lower but this is... 60 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,890 No, but they didn't work properly when they were super-charged and lower 61 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:51,610 because they had a terrible ride. 62 00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:54,090 The one thing you get from a Jag is a nice ride. 63 00:04:54,130 --> 00:04:57,090 You're disconnected from the world, that's the point. Anyway... 64 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,050 And those wheels! There's no "anyway" about it. 65 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:02,370 That's the best Jag probably ever made. 66 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,370 - Hmm. No. - Well, it is. 67 00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:06,530 Tell me what's wrong with that? 68 00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:08,730 One of the wheels is odd. 69 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,890 Yes, ah, I know exactly what's happened here. 70 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,170 Previous owner's had a puncture. 71 00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:22,177 He's simply borrowed a wheel from another car to use. 72 00:05:22,442 --> 00:05:24,410 - And he's gonna give it back? - Of course he is. 73 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:27,170 - Because he drives a Jag. - Exactly. 74 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,490 And look in here! 75 00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:31,810 It looks as if there's been a knife fight in the car. 76 00:05:31,846 --> 00:05:34,874 That's because he went to stay with some friends, obviously, 77 00:05:34,914 --> 00:05:36,570 thought, "I'll borrow their cutlery" 78 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:40,661 tucked it into his trousers and then he's cut his seats, that's what's happened. 79 00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:45,850 At this point, Mr Hammond hoved into view. 80 00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:49,170 - God, is that a Mark X? - That is a Mark X. 81 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,530 That's a properly villainous Jag. 82 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:54,490 - That that is a proper Jag. - Yeah. 83 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:58,650 Whatever you do, OK, do not tell him that. 84 00:05:58,690 --> 00:05:59,970 No, no. 85 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:02,010 - Hammond, you idiot. - What? 86 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,210 We're supposed to be upholding the reputation of Jaguar, 87 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,810 you've brought an antique, you've brought an old piece of furniture. 88 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:11,730 I am celebrating and revelling in the glories of Jaguar. 89 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:15,250 This is 1967 420G. 90 00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:19,010 This front end started with this car. That's the Jaguar look. 91 00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:21,090 The forehead lamps, the narrow grill. 92 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,290 Hammond, seriously. What is that? 93 00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:25,250 It's a 420G. This was the favour... 94 00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:28,930 - No, no not that. That. - This? It's my jacket. 95 00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:32,090 I thought, a bit of style. We're in Jaguars. 96 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,690 There's no style in the jacket at all. 97 00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:35,970 It's riddled with style! 98 00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:38,330 Some of your jackets are terrible, but I can't... 99 00:06:38,370 --> 00:06:42,090 Anyway, this was favoured by every villainous bank robber and baddie 100 00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,810 in and around England in the '60s. 101 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:46,090 - How much did you pay for it? - £6,500. 102 00:06:46,112 --> 00:06:47,217 - What? - I know. 103 00:06:47,252 --> 00:06:49,410 That is a lot of car for six-and-a-half grand. 104 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,330 - Look at the size of it! - Hammond, that is 1,000... 105 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,610 No, wait, £2,500 more 106 00:06:55,650 --> 00:06:58,090 than I paid for a super-charged Jaguar. 107 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:02,090 That is Jaguar's embarrassing attempt to recapture their own design 108 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,450 that started with this, the four head-lamps, the narrow grill. 109 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:07,570 This is definitive. Your car is derivative. 110 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:10,450 And Hammond wasn't finished there. 111 00:07:10,490 --> 00:07:12,810 Look at the size of this! 112 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,570 Imagine how many oil paintings, borrowed, I could get in there. 113 00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:16,890 Smells terrible. 114 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:18,810 - Tool kit. - Let me have a look. 115 00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:22,770 - That's for opening windows. - It is, no this is... 116 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,570 Not necessarily for fixing the car! 117 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,650 That's for cutting through somebody's fence. 118 00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:32,570 This is for undoing the paintings from the walls. 119 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:35,850 All the Jaguar toolkit is just for burglaries. 120 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,610 It's got a jemmy in it! 121 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:51,090 At this point we set off into the heart of Colorado, 122 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:55,210 eager to demonstrate the magnificence of our cars. 123 00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:03,090 Now it is telling me here that the traction control has failed, 124 00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:07,370 the stability control has failed, and that the anti-lock brakes have failed. 125 00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:12,610 And that's brilliant, because Jaguar obviously realised when they made this car 126 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:15,290 that drifting would one day become very popular, 127 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:18,570 and driver aids like this would be unwelcome and unnecessary. 128 00:08:18,610 --> 00:08:22,290 So they were designed to break, and they have done. 129 00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:32,650 This particular 420G is from 1967. Quite well-equipped. 130 00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:36,490 This row of toggle switches here on the dash, six of them. 131 00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:39,690 Wiper. Look at that! 132 00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,850 Look at... Oh. 133 00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:45,450 Yeah! That's the wipers there. 134 00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:48,010 And then this is... They won't turn off now. 135 00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:51,250 This is the fan. That doesn't do anything at the moment. 136 00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:53,810 These are features. 137 00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:56,490 This is character that has evolved over the years. 138 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:58,610 These are the beauty spots, 139 00:08:58,650 --> 00:09:02,130 or the slight squint to one eye that makes a person beautiful. 140 00:09:02,170 --> 00:09:06,410 If anything... If anything... Oh. The glove box has come open. 141 00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:09,490 I'll close that now. 142 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,970 It's done it again. 143 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:18,570 Normally I'd say at this point, now we're alone, viewers, 144 00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:21,610 let me talk you through a couple of things that aren't right with my car. 145 00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:25,410 I'm afraid I can't do that because everything in here works perfectly. 146 00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:29,010 There is, if you look in the left-hand dial, which is the rev counter, 147 00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:31,610 there's an engine warning light on 148 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:36,410 to remind me that the engine warning light works, and that it's there. 149 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:39,170 When you brake, like that, 150 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:44,890 the brake pedal judders for you, so you know you're braking. 151 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,690 That's brilliant! Why doesn't everybody do that? 152 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,010 I will give Hammond's car one thing, 153 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,690 it does give good rear view mirror. 154 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,130 It looks villainous. 155 00:09:58,170 --> 00:10:03,050 The Kray twins actually had 420s just like Hammond's Jag. 156 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:06,250 If you're watching this in America and you don't know who the Krays are, 157 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:09,330 they're the reason the Mafia never got to London. 158 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:13,810 They were too scared of the Krays. 159 00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,770 Some incredibly strong smells in this car. 160 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:19,370 There's a sort of gluey, resiny smell. 161 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,250 And burning. 162 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,730 Yeah, burning. 163 00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:29,170 It's having a smoke! 164 00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:31,810 It's from the '60s. Everybody smoked in the '60s. 165 00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:34,250 - It would smoke, it's a Jag. - That's what's it's... 166 00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:35,530 You have a smoke, mate. 167 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:38,930 It's seen this nice view and thought, "I'll have a pipe and contemplate it." 168 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:41,610 Like, like a red native. What are they called? 169 00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,250 - Native American? - Yes, that. 170 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:48,290 Once Hammond's car had finished its smoke, 171 00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:50,930 we resumed our fuss-free journey, 172 00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,290 and I got my foot down. 173 00:10:56,370 --> 00:10:59,570 It's still got tons of poke. Look at that! 174 00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,450 Which went well. 175 00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:09,330 It's just not changing gear. It's... There's neutral. 176 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:11,930 Right, now it's in, I think, second. 177 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:14,490 Jeremy, why are we going so slowly? 178 00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:18,810 I'll tell you exactly why, because the only German part in here, 179 00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:21,890 the Mercedes gearbox, has gone wrong. 180 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,850 That was a sad lapse of judgment on Jaguar's part. 181 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:28,490 Any idiot knows you don't put German bits in a car. 182 00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:31,170 - Manually changing gear. - What is wrong with it? 183 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:35,930 It's selecting a gear for the moment and then just sticking with it. 184 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:38,410 I can't wait for it to choose reverse. 185 00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:47,370 This problem with shoddy German engineering couldn't have come at a worse time, 186 00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:49,890 because we were now arriving at the location 187 00:11:49,930 --> 00:11:53,330 for Mr Wilman's first challenge 188 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,650 and I'd have to fix things sharpish. 189 00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:57,650 Now look. 190 00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,530 "Now look" what? 191 00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:02,010 Don't let us distract you Professor, Doctor. 192 00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:05,050 Listen, I have worked this out all by my own! 193 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:09,530 The gearbox has overheated, OK? So I'm gonna put some fluid in it. 194 00:12:09,570 --> 00:12:11,890 How much do you need to put in? 195 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,210 Don't know. How much do you need to put in? 196 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:18,810 - Put enough in. Go on. - Yeah, put some in. 197 00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:22,490 It's like watching a really, really old drunk pour himself a Scotch! 198 00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,930 "Just enough, man." 199 00:12:26,970 --> 00:12:29,890 The concentration face is coming out, there it is. 200 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:35,570 Good to see a man operating at his absolute limit. 201 00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:38,770 With the problem solved, it was time to get cracking. 202 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:53,490 We'd be competing against one another here at an off-road course, 203 00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:55,690 which Mr Wilman was convinced 204 00:12:55,730 --> 00:13:00,770 would break our ancient Jaguars into 1,000 pieces. 205 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:08,410 However, James had worked out a way to prove him wrong. 206 00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:12,450 OK, are you ready? In three, two, one, go! 207 00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:19,050 - It's a long car. It takes a long time to go past. - That's what it is. 208 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,690 I'd better brake for this left-hander, change down. 209 00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:24,450 Oh, concentrate! 210 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:26,690 And approaching the jump. 211 00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:29,010 He may get air here. 212 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,770 There you go. 213 00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:35,050 Know this, if you're turning over now to watch 214 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,530 Man In A High Castle, something of that nature, 215 00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:38,930 James is gonna finish this course. 216 00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:42,410 Which, eventually, he did. 217 00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:45,090 - And... across the line. - There he is. 218 00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:47,730 Yeah. 219 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:50,370 James May, you just set a lap record. 220 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,330 Yes! 221 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:54,650 The fastest ever lap 222 00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:57,890 in a Jaguar XK8 around this track. 223 00:13:57,930 --> 00:14:01,090 As you can see, the perfect track day car. 224 00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:07,810 This Jaguar has done a lap of this very demanding race circuit, and it's perfect. 225 00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:12,810 Next up was me, in the tight-fit XJR. 226 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:15,690 It is quite snug in here. Look, really. 227 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:20,770 - There is a problem. If I hit the top of your head... - Oh, hang on! 228 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,970 That's what that's for! 229 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:25,450 It's a helmet hatch. That's what it is. 230 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,610 You'll almost certainly be killed, though. 231 00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:30,170 You know when they take the top off a boiled egg? 232 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:35,330 - You do the countdown. - In three, two, one, go! 233 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,610 Yeah, there's some dust. 234 00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:46,290 And there we are! I have unleashed 385 horsepower! 235 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:53,170 And I would now demonstrate that this 17-year-old car had lost none of that horsepower. 236 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,970 Or any of its razor-sharp handling. 237 00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:01,730 Oh, yeah. Just feel the tail going nicely. 238 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,330 Oh, bollocks! It didn't. 239 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,690 I have slightly got that wrong, 240 00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:11,250 but we can edit that out and cut to this, and it looks good. 241 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:14,450 God, he's all over the place. Look at that! 242 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:17,370 What you're watching here is liquid poetry. 243 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:20,050 And flick it in! 244 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,890 He's completely messed it up. 245 00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:25,290 Yeah, he's just... What... What is he doing? 246 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:28,570 I've had a spin there. A slight spin has gone. 247 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:30,210 I'm blind as a bat now. 248 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,610 That's... That's added to his time quite a lot. 249 00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,650 There we go, speed up again now. 250 00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:36,090 And... 251 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,170 You ready? 252 00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:40,010 ...across the line. 253 00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,090 1:54. 254 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:47,970 But the important thing is, 255 00:15:48,010 --> 00:15:52,730 that's a lap record for the XJR, and it's still working. 256 00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:58,210 Finally, it was the turn of Ronnie and Reggie Hammond. 257 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:03,850 Here we go. In three, two, one, go! 258 00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:08,730 Here we go, unleashing 4.2-litre straight-six. 259 00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:12,210 Because Hammond's 50-year-old Jag was a senior citizen, 260 00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,730 we hoped he'd take it easy. 261 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,410 However... 262 00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:18,130 Let's do this properly. Come on! 263 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,730 Oh, his boot's come open. 264 00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:27,250 - He hasn't really got the point of this from the start. - No. No, he hasn't. 265 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,330 You've got a bit more than that in you. I know you have! 266 00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,090 You've got more to give me. Give me more! 267 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,530 Oh, no, look! Tons of black smoke. 268 00:16:38,570 --> 00:16:40,530 Yeah! 269 00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:43,090 Ha-ha-ha! Come on! 270 00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:58,570 Back at the finish line, 271 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:00,850 my colleagues were not impressed with me. 272 00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:03,450 There's oil everywhere, and coolant. 273 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:07,090 All you had to do was go round pretending it was a bit dramatic 274 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:09,570 proving that a Jaguar worked properly and was durable. 275 00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:12,930 I gave it a bit of the beans in a corner, bit of a tail-out. 276 00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,770 This lot at home are fooled. They think I was trying my hardest. 277 00:17:15,810 --> 00:17:17,570 I pulled a face. I went like that. 278 00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:19,170 - What did you do? - Gave it... 279 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,690 And look at the back of your car. 280 00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:26,650 Smashed rear window. Boot lid, no other word, off. 281 00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:28,410 Does it actually start? 282 00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:41,010 - I think you threw a rod. - It's all fixable. 283 00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:44,810 What was that? What was that "glang" noise? 284 00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:49,930 It could be a rod going through the side of the wall. I can fix this. 285 00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:52,810 And sure enough... 286 00:17:52,850 --> 00:17:58,370 I would have bet my left ear that Hammond would never be able to get that Jag going, 287 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:02,170 and yet, he has! 288 00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:05,690 Turns out the actual damage was nowhere near as bad as we thought. 289 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,210 All I had to do, straighten the boot lid, 290 00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:13,170 top up the water in the radiator, that did need doing, that was it. 291 00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:18,810 Yep. 292 00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:20,850 Never noticed the sun roof before. That's good. 293 00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:22,250 So, there we are, 294 00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:26,290 proof you can go off-road racing with three Jaguars, 295 00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:30,890 and all of them will survive. 296 00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:34,290 Well, it is just good that we're back as a three, 297 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,290 with the three cars running well. 298 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,250 I think we got away with that. They never noticed. 299 00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:56,050 No, nobody. Yeah, we're good. We're good. 300 00:18:56,090 --> 00:18:59,010 - Anyway, shh, shh, shh. - Yeah. 301 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:03,570 I can't believe, I simply cannot believe, how robust those Jags were. 302 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:07,210 I can, they are tremendously well-made cars, they really are. 303 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:11,530 Swiss watchmakers, they gasp sometimes when they look at an old Jag and go, 304 00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:14,090 "I cannot believe how much perfection there is in there." 305 00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:16,810 Exactly, and we will come back to that later on, 306 00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:21,450 but right now it's time to slide across an icy puddle of chat 307 00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:23,490 on Conversation Street. 308 00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,250 - That hurt? - Yeah. 309 00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,650 Right now, we begin with this. 310 00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,730 You know the fire brigade these days 311 00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:38,850 have been issued with those big hydraulic, erm, poultry shears? 312 00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:40,250 You mean the jaws of life? 313 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:42,090 - Whatever they're called. - Jaws of life. 314 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:47,090 If you give a man a tool like that, he is going to use it all the time. 315 00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:51,050 Which means whenever the fire brigade now turn up at the most minor car accident, 316 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,090 out they come, they cut the car's roof off. 317 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,010 - Yeah, they do. - Are there any firemen here? 318 00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:58,090 No, because they're too busy out there cutting people's roofs off. They are! 319 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,530 Loads of them out there. It is getting out of hand. 320 00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:04,610 There was a story recently, somebody had a pretty much brand-new Range Rover Sport, 321 00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:06,130 it had done 400 miles. 322 00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:08,690 They had a bit of a shunt. I think we've got a picture. 323 00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:11,250 It's broken a headlamp, but that's about it. 324 00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:15,250 Fire brigade come along and immediately cut the roof off, there you go. 325 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,770 I mean, that's made everything worse! 326 00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:21,050 I can beat that, OK? Couple of years ago there was this woman driving along. 327 00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:22,970 There'd been a minor accident, she wasn't involved, 328 00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,770 but the people who were, were standing around. 329 00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:27,690 She said, "Do you want to sit down in the back of my car?" 330 00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:30,930 Fire brigade turn up, cut the roof off her car. 331 00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:33,050 - What, they... - There, look! 332 00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:35,290 That hadn't been in the crash? 333 00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:36,650 They'd gone in through the doors, said, 334 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,890 "We'll cut the roof off, easier to get you out." 335 00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:40,490 The doors are working, look! 336 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,410 She was being a good Samaritan and that's what she got? 337 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:47,170 - Do you know they actually did this to the police? - Who, the fire brigade? 338 00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:50,330 The police turned up at the scene of an accident, a very minor one. 339 00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:52,130 The people were unhurt but it was raining. 340 00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:55,290 They said, "Would you like to rest in the police car?" 341 00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,770 No, please tell me... They didn't! 342 00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:59,370 The fire brigade cut the roof off the police car! 343 00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,530 That's gonna escalate. 344 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,610 I think what happened later on 345 00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:07,450 was the police went in their convertible police car round to the fire station 346 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:11,250 and blew up the fire engine in a "controlled explosion" which is what the police do! 347 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:12,610 It's gonna build! 348 00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:15,570 I kerbed the wheel on my car the other day and I thought, 349 00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:18,970 "I hope the fire brigade didn't see me do that. They'll cut the roof off!" 350 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,970 They wouldn't cut the roof off your car because that's only a Golf. 351 00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:25,570 - What they like to do is cut the roof off a Porsche! - That's more exciting. 352 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:28,170 You say at the pub, "I cut the roof off a Porsche!" 353 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:30,130 It's better than a Golf or a Hyundai. 354 00:21:30,170 --> 00:21:31,490 - It's a better story. - Exactly. 355 00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:32,970 I know why they're doing it. 356 00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:35,730 To be brutally honest, they're doing it because they can. 357 00:21:35,770 --> 00:21:37,330 They should take a lesson from the Queen. 358 00:21:37,370 --> 00:21:40,330 She's been the Queen now for, what, 65 years? 359 00:21:40,370 --> 00:21:45,250 Now, she has the constitutional right and power... 360 00:21:48,810 --> 00:21:52,090 Weirdly this is... this is, actually their display team. 361 00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:54,130 This bit better go in, 362 00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:57,290 because that's gonna be un (BEEP) ing editable, that is! 363 00:21:57,330 --> 00:21:59,330 They should take a lesson from the Queen. 364 00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:02,130 - She's been in power now, what, 65 years? - Yeah. 365 00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:06,410 She has the constitutional right to declare war on another country, OK? 366 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,290 She can do that, and she never has. 367 00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:11,050 How long would you last before you declared war if you had the ability? 368 00:22:11,090 --> 00:22:14,370 - I'd give it two days, and it'd be all-out war. - Exactly. 369 00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:17,130 "I'm declaring war on France. That's what I'm doing." 370 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,210 Well, you would if you could, that's the problem. That's why they do it. 371 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:23,650 I sympathise with the fire brigade, because I bought a chainsaw the other day. 372 00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:25,690 - Oh, my God! Are you sure? - No, I did. 373 00:22:25,730 --> 00:22:28,130 But when you've got a chainsaw, you use it for everything. 374 00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:31,410 I was thinking, "I've got to carve the Sunday joint. I'll get the chainsaw." 375 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:34,330 Opening a letter, get the chainsaw. Bread, use the chainsaw. 376 00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:37,770 Your eyebrows could do with a bit of a trim. 377 00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:42,010 As soon as the show's over, they're coming off with a chainsaw. 378 00:22:42,050 --> 00:22:43,810 - You've got it, so you use one. - Exactly. 379 00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:45,690 - They've got jaws of life? - Jaws of life. 380 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:47,890 They're gonna use it, and they are doing. 381 00:22:47,930 --> 00:22:51,570 We've got an important message actually for all firemen and firemenwomen. 382 00:22:51,610 --> 00:22:53,210 Stop cutting the roofs... 383 00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:56,730 Sorry! 384 00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,930 I think that's right. That's right, mate. 385 00:22:59,970 --> 00:23:04,610 - It's equal opportunities, what's the matter with you? - It's a modern world. 386 00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:07,250 Stop cutting the roofs off our cars or we'll come round 387 00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:10,450 and cut the roof off your painting and decorating van. 388 00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:13,410 That's covered the fire brigade. 389 00:23:13,450 --> 00:23:15,930 - Yep. - Hope we don't need them any time soon. 390 00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:19,250 So do I, cos we're gonna be trapped in a car, "Please!" 391 00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:21,770 Aston Martin's launched this. It's the new Vantage. 392 00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:24,010 That looks great. 393 00:23:24,050 --> 00:23:25,610 Absolutely spectacular. 394 00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:28,650 That actually looks like the one-off Aston they made for the Bond film. 395 00:23:28,690 --> 00:23:31,850 Oh, from the back especially. Have you got a picture of it from the back? 396 00:23:31,890 --> 00:23:34,410 I mean, that is just a spectacular-looking thing, 397 00:23:34,450 --> 00:23:39,330 and it's been fitted with the twin-turbo charged four-litre V8 from Mercedes. 398 00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:40,890 - The AMG engine. - Yeah. 399 00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:42,730 And that is just brilliant. 400 00:23:42,770 --> 00:23:46,410 It's the work actually of the man with the best name in the motor industry. 401 00:23:46,450 --> 00:23:47,730 No, second best name. 402 00:23:47,770 --> 00:23:50,690 Man with the best name is Lamborghini's chief test driver. 403 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,610 - He's called Max Venturi. - Yeah. 404 00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:54,850 - He's never had sex. - No, no, no. 405 00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:57,250 - He's young and good-looking as well. - Yes, I know. 406 00:23:57,290 --> 00:24:02,050 Anyway, the guy at Aston, their technical officer, is called Max "Szwaj". 407 00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:05,050 - What? - Max "Szwaj". 408 00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:07,330 - "Szwaj"? - No, "Sz". 409 00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:09,930 - That's what I said "Szwa". - No, it's "Sz". 410 00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:13,450 - You sound like a broken dentist drill, "Szwaj". - You're just being racist. 411 00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:15,250 - I'm not! - You are, the man's Irish. 412 00:24:15,290 --> 00:24:18,610 - I'm not being racist! - Just cos you want him to be called Paddy O'Malley! 413 00:24:18,650 --> 00:24:22,570 I didn't say... You can't accuse me of being racist on television! 414 00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:24,890 Anyway, we'll gloss over your frankly... 415 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:28,010 - I'm not. That is... - It's embarrassing. 416 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,690 They've also... He, I should say, Max "Szwaj", 417 00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:34,570 has also put the Mercedes engine in the DB11. 418 00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:36,970 And I love that engine, and I love that car. 419 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:39,170 That's gonna be one hell of a combination. 420 00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:41,050 Could be amazing. How much will it be? 421 00:24:41,090 --> 00:24:44,490 Well, weirdly, not much less than the V12. 422 00:24:44,530 --> 00:24:48,210 But I think that the V8 will be better cos the engine will be lighter. 423 00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:51,850 So what you're saying, in fact, is smaller is better. 424 00:24:54,890 --> 00:24:59,210 No. 425 00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:03,010 You know Chinese companies like to give themselves Western names, OK? 426 00:25:03,050 --> 00:25:07,010 - I know what you mean. - Well, there's a Chinese spare part company. 427 00:25:07,050 --> 00:25:12,010 They do brakes and what have you, that's called, erm, this. 428 00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,930 Well, well, it's... 429 00:25:16,970 --> 00:25:19,050 - Thing is... - It's memorable, isn't it? 430 00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:21,650 Thing is, though, if you type that into Google... 431 00:25:21,690 --> 00:25:24,530 Oh, don't! 432 00:25:24,570 --> 00:25:29,410 You've really got some strong images for 27 pages before you get to your brake disks. 433 00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:31,970 Sitting there an hour later with eyes like that. 434 00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:37,010 "Only wanted some brake pads, and now I've seen things I can't unsee!" 435 00:25:37,050 --> 00:25:38,930 What were you looking for when you came across...? 436 00:25:40,450 --> 00:25:41,850 What had you put in? 437 00:25:41,890 --> 00:25:44,650 Had you been through all 27,000 pages to get to that one? 438 00:25:44,690 --> 00:25:46,250 I was just looking at (BEEPS). 439 00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:49,050 Oh! 440 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:51,770 And that is the end of this week's Conversation Street. 441 00:25:51,810 --> 00:25:55,810 That's very kind, thank you. 442 00:25:55,850 --> 00:25:59,850 Thank you, and now it's time to get back to our film 443 00:25:59,890 --> 00:26:03,850 in which we're proving that Jaguar's reputation for unreliability 444 00:26:03,890 --> 00:26:06,210 is completely unfounded. 445 00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:10,890 Yes, we pick up the action at a hotel where, because we're driving Jags, 446 00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:15,850 we'd spent the night in rooms as far away as possible from the reception desk, 447 00:26:15,890 --> 00:26:21,130 and its pesky checking-out requirements. 448 00:26:21,170 --> 00:26:25,290 The next morning we were up way before the hotel staff, 449 00:26:25,330 --> 00:26:27,290 to get back on the road. 450 00:26:43,130 --> 00:26:45,210 - Morning. - Morning. 451 00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:47,050 What's with the towels? 452 00:26:47,090 --> 00:26:49,130 Well, they had this sign that explained 453 00:26:49,170 --> 00:26:52,010 how environmentally damaging and expensive it is to wash them, 454 00:26:52,050 --> 00:26:54,170 so I've saved them the trouble. 455 00:26:54,210 --> 00:26:55,850 - That's good thinking. - That's kind. 456 00:26:55,890 --> 00:26:57,810 That is. 457 00:27:03,730 --> 00:27:06,450 Because we'd had such an early start, 458 00:27:06,490 --> 00:27:08,970 we decided after a little while to pull over 459 00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:13,850 and admire some of the beautiful rock formations. 460 00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:16,290 Do you see the sandstone has been 461 00:27:16,330 --> 00:27:21,810 eroded by time, wind, and the pressure of water seeping through it. 462 00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:27,930 It's baffling, isn't it, how a simple stream 463 00:27:27,970 --> 00:27:33,490 can have carved such an extraordinary gorge. 464 00:27:33,530 --> 00:27:35,970 I don't think there's any point continuing to do that. 465 00:27:36,010 --> 00:27:38,970 I think you're going to just melt the starter motor. 466 00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:42,530 Now, it's a heck of a battery, though. 467 00:27:42,570 --> 00:27:44,730 How have you managed to break it so quickly? 468 00:27:44,770 --> 00:27:47,450 - Literally we left the hotel... - You've had it five minutes! 469 00:27:47,490 --> 00:27:48,690 ...40 minutes ago. 470 00:27:48,730 --> 00:27:51,610 It's something I've done. It's certainly not the car. 471 00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:53,970 - Look at those cross braces. - Mm. 472 00:27:54,010 --> 00:27:56,610 I fitted those as well, that it didn't have before. 473 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,970 Because the problem was bound to be minor, 474 00:28:02,010 --> 00:28:04,050 James and I left Richard to it 475 00:28:04,090 --> 00:28:08,330 and continued onwards to our next destination. 476 00:28:13,010 --> 00:28:16,170 This is one hell of a road! 477 00:28:16,210 --> 00:28:21,290 Surface is good. Scenery is fantastic. No traffic. 478 00:28:21,330 --> 00:28:26,570 These were ideal conditions for a Jag like mine. 479 00:28:26,610 --> 00:28:30,370 One of the things I absolutely love about the XJR 480 00:28:30,410 --> 00:28:35,850 is the way the faster you go, the more it starts to sort of float. 481 00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:39,570 It's like you're sort of powder skiing. 482 00:28:41,930 --> 00:28:47,010 It actually encourages you to go faster because you're so relaxed. 483 00:28:47,050 --> 00:28:52,730 This, let's not forget, is a 155-mile-an-hour machine. 484 00:28:52,770 --> 00:28:55,890 Nought to 60, five-and-a-half seconds. 485 00:28:55,930 --> 00:28:59,050 It's quick, even by today's standards. 486 00:29:02,330 --> 00:29:07,130 Right, problem is fuel pump not working, that's because there's no power to it. 487 00:29:07,170 --> 00:29:09,090 But the really clever thing about a Jaguar 488 00:29:09,130 --> 00:29:11,770 is you get lots of spare stuff you can use 489 00:29:11,810 --> 00:29:14,370 when a problem arises, should it, which is very unlikely. 490 00:29:14,410 --> 00:29:17,930 In this instance, I disconnected this which powers the electric aerial. 491 00:29:17,970 --> 00:29:20,850 That has got power. Obviously I can do without the electric aerial. 492 00:29:20,890 --> 00:29:22,450 I didn't want to use it anyway. 493 00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:26,690 Hook this up to the fuel pump, job done, we're away. 494 00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:30,170 Sure enough, he was soon back on the move... 495 00:29:32,890 --> 00:29:35,170 I love this thing. It's a beautiful little car. 496 00:29:37,370 --> 00:29:39,850 ...unlike me. 497 00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:46,330 Not that this is much of an issue for someone who's driving a Jag! 498 00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:48,290 Yes, Constable, however, 499 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:52,130 if I could draw your attention to the first page of my passport here, 500 00:29:52,170 --> 00:29:55,130 "Her Britannic Majesty..." that's the Queen, 501 00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:59,970 "...requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty, 502 00:30:00,010 --> 00:30:04,610 all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer..." that's me, 503 00:30:04,650 --> 00:30:08,170 "...to pass freely without let or hindrance." 504 00:30:14,130 --> 00:30:16,490 Did you get away with that? 505 00:30:16,530 --> 00:30:19,290 Yeah, I just hit him with the passport thing. 506 00:30:19,330 --> 00:30:21,410 Very good, yes. 507 00:30:21,450 --> 00:30:26,650 Honestly, it works every time. It never fails in America. 508 00:30:26,690 --> 00:30:30,250 I also told the officer I was travelling with Mrs May, 509 00:30:30,290 --> 00:30:31,730 the British Prime Minister. 510 00:30:33,530 --> 00:30:35,930 And he believed me! 511 00:30:35,970 --> 00:30:40,290 Meanwhile, quite a few miles further back... 512 00:30:45,690 --> 00:30:48,410 That's... just having a rest. 513 00:30:52,210 --> 00:30:54,730 Oh, it's a Brit and it's overheated. 514 00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:56,130 No, no, it's fine. 515 00:30:58,290 --> 00:31:02,730 Do you know why the English like warm beer? 516 00:31:02,770 --> 00:31:06,290 Because Lucas makes refrigerators, too! 517 00:31:06,330 --> 00:31:10,050 - Good, thank you so much! - Yeah, you bet! 518 00:31:14,730 --> 00:31:17,210 Oh, this isn't helping our case. 519 00:31:21,530 --> 00:31:23,250 Higher in the sky, 520 00:31:23,290 --> 00:31:27,530 James and I had arrived at the location for our next challenge... 521 00:31:28,690 --> 00:31:30,450 ...a runway. 522 00:31:30,490 --> 00:31:33,050 And once our colleague had arrived, 523 00:31:33,090 --> 00:31:36,770 I explained what Mr Wilman had planned. 524 00:31:36,810 --> 00:31:41,010 We'll go from here, one at a time, 0-100, 525 00:31:41,050 --> 00:31:43,130 and then back to 0 again. 526 00:31:43,170 --> 00:31:47,010 You've got to stop before the end of the runway, and really do have to stop, 527 00:31:47,050 --> 00:31:52,450 because this airport has a... a slightly unusual feature. 528 00:31:52,490 --> 00:31:55,810 Perched on the summit of a rocky mountain, 529 00:31:55,850 --> 00:32:01,130 Telluride is the highest commercial airport in the US. 530 00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:05,050 And at the end of the runway, there is... 531 00:32:07,090 --> 00:32:08,610 ...nothing. 532 00:32:08,650 --> 00:32:12,730 Just a 1,000 foot drop to an uncomfortable end. 533 00:32:15,210 --> 00:32:16,570 Here we go! 534 00:32:16,610 --> 00:32:19,490 Yes, there it is! 535 00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:22,530 It has got some shove, that. 536 00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:26,130 Forced induction of course is what you need at this kind of altitude. 537 00:32:26,170 --> 00:32:30,650 That's why super-chargers were fitted to the Spitfire and the Messerschmitt. 538 00:32:32,770 --> 00:32:35,490 That's 80... 539 00:32:35,530 --> 00:32:37,210 90... 540 00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,450 There's 100! 541 00:32:41,530 --> 00:32:46,170 Oh, the brakes are medium good and that's a worry... 542 00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:48,810 ...for Hammond and May. 543 00:32:48,850 --> 00:32:52,810 On the plus side, that's further proof of the power of a Jaguar. 544 00:32:52,850 --> 00:32:57,610 On the negative side, Jeremy isn't now going, "Argh!" which is a shame. 545 00:32:57,650 --> 00:33:00,370 It is, the other thing we need to bear in mind 546 00:33:00,410 --> 00:33:05,250 is that his car is very much the most powerful one here, and you're going next. 547 00:33:05,290 --> 00:33:06,810 Why am I going next? 548 00:33:06,850 --> 00:33:09,570 Because I just said you're going next, and that's like a bagsie. 549 00:33:09,610 --> 00:33:12,010 - That's how a Jag driver would work. - Right! 550 00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:17,730 Three, two, one, begin. 551 00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:24,890 Ohh, yeah! I think it's lost some ponies over the years. 552 00:33:24,930 --> 00:33:28,730 The big question is, will his ancient XJ6 553 00:33:28,770 --> 00:33:31,850 be able to beat the yardstick I've laid down? 554 00:33:31,890 --> 00:33:34,250 Er... 55. 555 00:33:38,130 --> 00:33:39,770 60. 556 00:33:41,050 --> 00:33:44,090 Still accelerating. 557 00:33:44,130 --> 00:33:46,690 You're gonna have to work a bit harder, Jaguar! 558 00:33:46,730 --> 00:33:50,410 You really are, because that's not good enough! 559 00:33:50,450 --> 00:33:52,610 Still... 560 00:33:52,650 --> 00:33:53,850 85. 561 00:33:53,890 --> 00:33:58,730 Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to witness the death of Richard Hammond, again. 562 00:33:59,810 --> 00:34:01,850 Nearly! 563 00:34:01,890 --> 00:34:04,290 100! 564 00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:08,730 Oh, my God! 565 00:34:11,530 --> 00:34:13,250 Ah! 566 00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:17,850 And... shut down. 567 00:34:24,370 --> 00:34:27,530 How much excrement? 568 00:34:27,570 --> 00:34:31,650 Erm... well, brown seats would have been a better choice. 569 00:34:31,690 --> 00:34:35,410 - Yeah. Your braking? - Erm... Vigorous. 570 00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:38,250 Would you like to know how much further you went than me? 571 00:34:38,290 --> 00:34:40,770 - Yeah, go on. - 0.4 of a mile... 572 00:34:42,530 --> 00:34:45,450 ...of a mile! 573 00:34:45,490 --> 00:34:49,570 Finally it was my turn and I was going to need as much runway 574 00:34:49,610 --> 00:34:52,690 and as much streamlining as possible, 575 00:34:52,730 --> 00:34:55,250 for good reason. 576 00:34:55,290 --> 00:34:58,370 Now we're alone, viewers, I'm gonna admit to you 577 00:34:58,410 --> 00:35:01,770 that my car has gone into "limp home" mode, 578 00:35:01,810 --> 00:35:05,090 which is not ideal for this sort of thing. 579 00:35:05,130 --> 00:35:07,410 In three, two, one. 580 00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:20,250 40. 581 00:35:22,690 --> 00:35:26,290 He's moving. I mean, just barely but... 582 00:35:28,130 --> 00:35:29,690 50. 583 00:35:33,970 --> 00:35:35,250 60. 584 00:35:40,050 --> 00:35:42,250 He's still accelerating! 585 00:35:42,290 --> 00:35:44,170 70. 586 00:35:44,210 --> 00:35:46,010 75! 587 00:35:49,250 --> 00:35:52,330 80 miles... 80. 80 miles an hour. 588 00:35:56,850 --> 00:35:58,410 90! 589 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,690 Oh, my God! 590 00:36:12,050 --> 00:36:13,570 Argh! 591 00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:17,170 Ow! Ooh! 592 00:36:18,330 --> 00:36:19,570 Ow! 593 00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:24,010 Having completed the 0-100 and back to 0 test, 594 00:36:24,050 --> 00:36:26,170 we got back on the road. 595 00:36:28,170 --> 00:36:31,730 Well, all credit to James's XK8. 596 00:36:31,770 --> 00:36:35,330 He's come out of it unharmed and the car pretty much, too. 597 00:36:35,370 --> 00:36:39,730 If anything, the engine seems to have become even smoother, 598 00:36:39,770 --> 00:36:43,810 almost as if it's gained 50% more cylinders. 599 00:36:43,850 --> 00:36:47,770 But that's the thing about Jags, they just get better. 600 00:36:49,890 --> 00:36:53,090 With all three cars still running well, 601 00:36:53,130 --> 00:36:58,090 we headed off to face our final and toughest challenge... 602 00:36:58,130 --> 00:37:01,210 ...in the ski resort of Telluride. 603 00:37:07,770 --> 00:37:09,850 - They applauded your death. - They did. 604 00:37:09,890 --> 00:37:12,210 - They applauded your death. - Thank you very much! 605 00:37:12,250 --> 00:37:16,090 I have to say though, James, it really was extraordinary 606 00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:20,130 that you went down that 1,000-foot fall, not a scratch. 607 00:37:20,170 --> 00:37:22,170 Completely unharmed. 608 00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:25,210 It's weird that Jag don't make more of that in their commercials. 609 00:37:25,250 --> 00:37:26,810 Anyway, we'll pick that up later on. 610 00:37:26,850 --> 00:37:30,250 Now though, it's time for Celebrity Face Off. 611 00:37:41,170 --> 00:37:46,330 Yeah, and today we are asking another important question, and it's this. 612 00:37:46,370 --> 00:37:51,930 Who is the world's fastest actor, whose middle name is George? 613 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:56,010 Surprisingly hard to find contenders for this one, but we've managed it. 614 00:37:56,050 --> 00:37:59,890 So please welcome Luke Evans and Kiefer Sutherland! 615 00:38:04,370 --> 00:38:06,930 Jack Bauer! How are you? 616 00:38:06,970 --> 00:38:10,250 You. How are you? Have a seat. 617 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:16,610 No messing about this week! We are not messing about. 618 00:38:19,730 --> 00:38:22,650 Can I just explain before we start? Yes. 619 00:38:22,690 --> 00:38:26,050 - You get a Canadian flag because you're Canadian? - Yeah. 620 00:38:26,090 --> 00:38:28,410 - But if you win it'll become British. - It'll become British. 621 00:38:28,450 --> 00:38:30,850 - Because you were born... - I was born in London. 622 00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:33,410 - Born in London, so do you have a British passport? - I do. 623 00:38:33,450 --> 00:38:35,530 - And you're a Canadian citizen? - Yes. 624 00:38:35,570 --> 00:38:37,650 - But you live in America? - Yes. 625 00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:40,090 I am a well-travelled man! 626 00:38:40,130 --> 00:38:42,690 Yeah. You travel the colonies. Erm... 627 00:38:46,130 --> 00:38:49,490 - You're Welsh whatever happens. - Good. 628 00:38:49,530 --> 00:38:51,570 Now, this business of middle names... 629 00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:53,690 - You've just got the one middle name? - Yes. 630 00:38:53,730 --> 00:38:55,570 - Which is George? - George, yes. 631 00:38:55,610 --> 00:38:57,490 - You... - I've got the five. 632 00:38:57,530 --> 00:38:59,130 Which are... 633 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,650 Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland. 634 00:39:02,690 --> 00:39:05,330 Ah, wow! 635 00:39:05,370 --> 00:39:07,930 - So, your dad... - My father owed a lot of people money! 636 00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:14,450 I think he would just say, "I can't pay you, but I'll name my son after you." 637 00:39:15,730 --> 00:39:17,330 Now we'll get onto you, Luke, if we may. 638 00:39:17,370 --> 00:39:20,290 Obviously, your new blockbuster is Beauty And The Beast. 639 00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:23,810 But you're best known, certainly among this audience, I should imagine- 640 00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:26,330 - I've a feeling I know which one it is. - Fast and Furious. 641 00:39:26,370 --> 00:39:28,330 - Yeah. - Fast and Furious 6. 642 00:39:28,370 --> 00:39:31,770 Yeah. 643 00:39:31,810 --> 00:39:37,490 Now, what fascinates me about this Fast and Furious business is somehow 644 00:39:37,530 --> 00:39:42,330 you make a living from driving around, smashing up very expensive cars. 645 00:39:42,370 --> 00:39:44,330 I mean, how is that even possible? 646 00:39:44,370 --> 00:39:46,570 You tell me. 647 00:39:46,610 --> 00:39:48,490 Touché. 648 00:39:48,530 --> 00:39:50,730 - It must be a riot. - It is a riot, yeah. 649 00:39:50,770 --> 00:39:54,090 Especially when they... they make them from scratch, 650 00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:56,410 like the flip car that I drove in Fast 6. 651 00:39:56,450 --> 00:39:59,490 That was hand-made by this genius in Los Angeles 652 00:39:59,530 --> 00:40:02,010 who makes all the cars in the films. 653 00:40:02,050 --> 00:40:04,570 - And the flip car was... - It's got a tongue on it... 654 00:40:04,610 --> 00:40:07,130 It's basically like a door wedge, basically, 655 00:40:07,170 --> 00:40:09,370 which had, I think it was a Formula One engine. 656 00:40:09,410 --> 00:40:12,250 But it was just the shell, so the sound was deafening. 657 00:40:12,290 --> 00:40:15,690 We all had to have ear plugs and stuff and... But it was great. 658 00:40:15,730 --> 00:40:18,770 All the wheels could crab, so they all could turn at the same time, 659 00:40:18,810 --> 00:40:22,050 so you go could go underneath lorries, trailer lorries. 660 00:40:22,090 --> 00:40:24,290 - They're tricky to drive, I presume. - Very tricky. 661 00:40:24,330 --> 00:40:28,730 It was, erm... it wasn't a normal sort of gear shift. It was a ratchet. 662 00:40:28,770 --> 00:40:34,010 So you'd have to press a button and then you had to pump the clutch 663 00:40:34,050 --> 00:40:38,130 then you had to ratchet it up to first, and it was so complicated. 664 00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,570 - While doing acting? - While doing acting, yeah. 665 00:40:41,850 --> 00:40:45,770 See, he's so cool, why would you have me on the show? 666 00:40:45,810 --> 00:40:49,650 No, I mean, you do crash even more cars than Hammond does. 667 00:40:49,690 --> 00:40:52,050 I've got the figures here. 668 00:40:52,090 --> 00:40:55,010 You've destroyed, or the Fast And Furious people, 669 00:40:55,050 --> 00:40:58,010 - 1,478 cars... - Wow! 670 00:40:58,050 --> 00:41:01,170 ...in the franchise, which is quite a lot. Someone worked out the cost. 671 00:41:01,210 --> 00:41:04,810 - You've only done £3.7 million worth of damage. - That's not bad. 672 00:41:04,850 --> 00:41:08,330 Jason Statham's got through 148 million quid's worth of cars. 673 00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:12,530 Actually, Richard Hammond has provided me with a question here. 674 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:14,970 He said, "Is it because he can't drive very well?" 675 00:41:15,010 --> 00:41:18,450 I did not say that! I didn't! Why would I fall out with Jason Statham? 676 00:41:18,490 --> 00:41:20,130 - I didn't say that! - You thought it. 677 00:41:20,170 --> 00:41:22,130 Can he drive? I've always wanted to get Jason... 678 00:41:22,170 --> 00:41:24,930 I have no idea! Yes, I'm sure, yeah. I... 679 00:41:24,970 --> 00:41:27,930 - Are you sure he can't drive? There you go, Hammond. - I didn't ask that! 680 00:41:27,970 --> 00:41:29,410 I'm sure he can. 681 00:41:29,450 --> 00:41:32,210 Did you crash any cars? Not to the extent they do, but did you? 682 00:41:32,250 --> 00:41:34,890 No, actually, I was thinking how cool all your stories were. 683 00:41:34,930 --> 00:41:36,250 Mine was so embarrassing. 684 00:41:36,290 --> 00:41:38,970 Er... I had a scene, all I had to do, 685 00:41:39,010 --> 00:41:41,890 and a very normal car, the wheels didn't crab, 686 00:41:41,930 --> 00:41:45,850 I just had to drive it to the mark, get out, draw my weapon and say something. 687 00:41:45,890 --> 00:41:49,730 And that day they had a really wonderful actress. 688 00:41:49,770 --> 00:41:53,370 I had a bit of a crush on her, and I was really trying to show off. 689 00:41:53,410 --> 00:41:58,010 And I spun the car a bit, threw it into a stop, threw open the door, 690 00:41:58,050 --> 00:42:01,890 pulled out my weapon, said my line and slowly the car passed me. 691 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:06,610 I had forgot... I had forgot to put it in park. 692 00:42:06,650 --> 00:42:11,130 And er... and it hit the fence that the camera operator was sitting on and he fell off. 693 00:42:12,210 --> 00:42:16,170 The girl never talked to me again and that was the end of my day. 694 00:42:16,210 --> 00:42:20,130 We'll get onto cars cos you both started with Mustangs, I think I'm right in saying. 695 00:42:20,170 --> 00:42:22,610 - Yeah. - Well, sort of yeah. 696 00:42:22,650 --> 00:42:26,010 - You were very late to... - Yeah, I was 30 when I passed my driving test. 697 00:42:26,050 --> 00:42:29,210 I'd never been to LA, and I had to go there for a screen test, 698 00:42:29,250 --> 00:42:34,650 and the first time I got in a car on my own was a hire car from LAX Airport, 699 00:42:34,690 --> 00:42:38,130 which was a Mustang, and then I went on the 405 to West Hollywood. 700 00:42:38,170 --> 00:42:40,450 - Shat myself. - That'll teach you how to drive! 701 00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:45,930 My hands were so wet that they were sliding off the steering wheel. 702 00:42:45,970 --> 00:42:50,410 - And the steering wheel's on the wrong side of the road. - I mean, five lanes! 703 00:42:50,450 --> 00:42:54,370 I do love saying wrong side of the road in front of people who aren't... 704 00:42:54,410 --> 00:42:56,370 It's the right side of the road. We're the idiots. 705 00:42:56,410 --> 00:42:58,370 No, we're not. No, we're not! 706 00:42:58,410 --> 00:43:01,170 Steering wheel's on the wrong side, on the wrong side of the road. 707 00:43:01,210 --> 00:43:04,370 - The 405 is a nightmare. - It's hell. 708 00:43:04,410 --> 00:43:07,010 - I'd not want to do my first solo drive. - Yeah. 709 00:43:07,050 --> 00:43:10,690 - Now your first car was a... - My first car was a 1967 Mustang. 710 00:43:10,730 --> 00:43:14,530 And er... I had a couple of jobs in New York, 711 00:43:14,570 --> 00:43:16,850 that allowed me to buy the car. 712 00:43:16,890 --> 00:43:19,610 Then I was gonna drive it from New York to Los Angeles, 713 00:43:19,650 --> 00:43:22,210 where I had another job waiting for me. 714 00:43:22,250 --> 00:43:24,610 And I was driving across Texas, 715 00:43:24,650 --> 00:43:28,770 and this was the cheaper model of the 1967 Mustang. 716 00:43:28,810 --> 00:43:30,850 It was a straight-six, not a lot of power. 717 00:43:30,890 --> 00:43:34,970 And I guess there was an 80-mile-an-hour wind coming east. 718 00:43:36,650 --> 00:43:40,610 I was trying to go west, and the wind was more powerful than my car 719 00:43:40,650 --> 00:43:43,130 so in the middle of the highway it just stopped. 720 00:43:44,370 --> 00:43:46,770 And, I'm not a mechanically-inclined guy 721 00:43:46,810 --> 00:43:49,890 so I got rid of the Mustang as quickly as I could. 722 00:43:49,930 --> 00:43:52,530 You, on the other hand, are mechanically-minded, aren't you? 723 00:43:52,570 --> 00:43:57,930 Yeah, well, my best mate as I grew up was a farmer's boy 724 00:43:57,970 --> 00:44:01,010 and so I was always on the farms with him. 725 00:44:01,050 --> 00:44:04,610 And there was, like, tractors and quads and motorbikes. 726 00:44:04,650 --> 00:44:08,370 - Are you a bike enthusiast? - My dad is a big biker. Like, big, big biker. 727 00:44:08,410 --> 00:44:11,170 So I was always on the back of his bike. 728 00:44:11,210 --> 00:44:13,330 Pillion passengers through the Brecon Beacons, you know? 729 00:44:13,370 --> 00:44:15,170 Did your dad have a 1600E? 730 00:44:15,210 --> 00:44:17,490 That was... Yeah, when I was born, 731 00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:21,290 he had a 1600E Cortina in azure blue, 732 00:44:21,330 --> 00:44:24,290 and when I was born, he put my name on his number plate. 733 00:44:24,330 --> 00:44:26,210 I grew up with this very special car. 734 00:44:26,250 --> 00:44:28,410 Well, now you're into my specialist subject here. 735 00:44:28,450 --> 00:44:32,170 You may have to tune out for a moment here, because to... 736 00:44:32,210 --> 00:44:34,330 I don't think it was available in blue, the 1600E. 737 00:44:34,370 --> 00:44:38,730 No. It wasn't. But you'll need to ask him the answer to that. 738 00:44:38,770 --> 00:44:40,490 - Why, is he here? - He's there. 739 00:44:40,530 --> 00:44:44,050 - Was it, how did you get...? He's brought his dad? - Brought my dad, yeah. 740 00:44:44,090 --> 00:44:45,150 Have you brought your dad? 741 00:44:45,186 --> 00:44:46,690 - No. - That'd be hilarious. 742 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:51,170 How did you have a blue Cortina 1600E? 743 00:44:51,210 --> 00:44:53,570 Well, the Mark IIs came out in the silver fox, 744 00:44:53,610 --> 00:44:56,010 but after a few years they started to fade. 745 00:44:56,050 --> 00:44:59,330 - So I bought one and I had it re-sprayed. - You painted it? 746 00:44:59,370 --> 00:45:01,530 - I thought, I sort of... - Stylish for a Valley boy! 747 00:45:01,570 --> 00:45:04,730 Azure blue, I mean, come on! 748 00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:07,930 I had a 1600E. It was amber gold. They were the coolest cars. 749 00:45:07,970 --> 00:45:10,330 - Do you remember it? - Yeah, I do remember it. It was beautiful. 750 00:45:10,370 --> 00:45:14,170 I mean, I remember that I chipped the... the walnut, er, dashboard, 751 00:45:14,210 --> 00:45:18,890 cos I was in the car like this with my teeth, and he'd braked and I split. 752 00:45:18,930 --> 00:45:22,170 I literally have guilt even now and I was only five at the time. 753 00:45:22,210 --> 00:45:26,410 Your dad was cross with you for smashing your teeth out cos he braked too hard? 754 00:45:26,450 --> 00:45:29,010 Oh, yeah, the car was everything, like yeah. 755 00:45:29,050 --> 00:45:30,850 You smashed your face in on the dashboard? 756 00:45:30,890 --> 00:45:34,010 Yeah, I lost my front teeth, but it was the walnut veneer that was the... 757 00:45:34,050 --> 00:45:38,330 This is the Poor Parenting Award here, this is. 758 00:45:38,370 --> 00:45:39,970 Now we've got to find out, 759 00:45:40,010 --> 00:45:42,250 well, basically whether we're gonna call you Canadian or British. 760 00:45:42,290 --> 00:45:45,170 Who wants to see their laps? 761 00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:48,210 - So, Kiefer, we're gonna have a look at yours first. - OK. 762 00:45:48,250 --> 00:45:49,490 So, here we go. 763 00:45:49,530 --> 00:45:53,690 It's a beautiful day once again in the heartland of England. 764 00:45:53,730 --> 00:45:56,690 Accelerate. Accelerate, brake. 765 00:45:56,730 --> 00:46:00,650 That's the right way to do it. Oh, cutting that corner nicely. 766 00:46:00,690 --> 00:46:04,250 It's tricky here cos you've got to slow down then get on the power, 767 00:46:04,290 --> 00:46:06,370 which you've done very well as you go left 768 00:46:06,410 --> 00:46:09,850 and into what we're calling The Difficult Bit. 769 00:46:09,890 --> 00:46:12,010 And there we go. 770 00:46:12,050 --> 00:46:16,050 Oh, that's tidy. That is tidy. Not exuberant. 771 00:46:19,970 --> 00:46:25,770 Through the banked turned, the Gravelsel, and back down toward the Difficult Bit Two. 772 00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:28,330 I must say you are holding that very nicely through there. 773 00:46:28,370 --> 00:46:32,970 We had the traction control wound back so you've got a loose rear end. 774 00:46:33,010 --> 00:46:37,290 Now it goes very slippery. Oh, nicely held there. 775 00:46:37,330 --> 00:46:40,690 On the power ready to go down the straight bit that isn't really very straight, 776 00:46:40,730 --> 00:46:42,970 like our other track. 777 00:46:43,010 --> 00:46:45,770 Hell, let's see if you've got any bottle. 778 00:46:45,810 --> 00:46:50,170 Supposed to be flat through. Oh... that is actually very quick through there! 779 00:46:50,210 --> 00:46:51,730 That is very nicely done indeed. 780 00:46:51,770 --> 00:46:55,490 Hard on the brakes and through the last corner 781 00:46:55,530 --> 00:46:57,650 also very nicely and across the line. 782 00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,210 That is tidy! 783 00:47:01,250 --> 00:47:05,850 Tidy lap. It was quite good. 784 00:47:05,890 --> 00:47:09,290 - You've got people that are very helpful out there. - Yeah. Well, they do. 785 00:47:09,330 --> 00:47:12,450 They teach you how, but then you've got to go solo. You have to do it. 786 00:47:12,490 --> 00:47:15,290 - So how was yours, good fun? - I loved it. 787 00:47:15,330 --> 00:47:18,290 I didn't want to get out. They had to peel me out of the car! 788 00:47:18,330 --> 00:47:19,930 Who'd like to see the lap? 789 00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:21,810 Come on. Let's have a look at Luke's. 790 00:47:26,170 --> 00:47:28,770 Come on! 791 00:47:28,810 --> 00:47:32,770 OK, right. Also cutting the corner, taking it... 792 00:47:32,810 --> 00:47:36,970 I think it's a good idea to go sl... Oh, ha-ha. 793 00:47:37,010 --> 00:47:42,290 Just about hold it together and onto the gravel. 794 00:47:42,330 --> 00:47:45,530 Listen to that exhaust popping away, that's good for a two-litre engine, that. 795 00:47:45,570 --> 00:47:49,250 Oh, exuberant! Coming wide through there, that looks good. 796 00:47:49,290 --> 00:47:52,450 This gravel is crazy! 797 00:47:52,490 --> 00:47:57,490 It's not necessarily the fastest way to have the arse of it hanging out like that, 798 00:47:57,530 --> 00:47:59,170 but it does look good. 799 00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,530 Right, yeah, looking good through there as well. 800 00:48:02,570 --> 00:48:05,410 This is keeping it tidier, this is better. 801 00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:09,170 It can get a bit fish-taily down here if you're not careful, but it's all right. 802 00:48:09,210 --> 00:48:12,850 And onto the slippery, dusty bit. 803 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,490 Keeping it wide. 804 00:48:15,530 --> 00:48:18,730 Now, flat-out. Do you keep it flat through the last corner? 805 00:48:18,770 --> 00:48:20,850 Now I should brake, but I'm not gonna. 806 00:48:22,930 --> 00:48:25,690 Are you not gonna brake? No, you are not! 807 00:48:25,730 --> 00:48:28,130 Oh, though, that is fast, nearly losing it, 808 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:31,250 but just got it together in time to brake for the last corner. 809 00:48:31,290 --> 00:48:33,810 Nicely held through there and across the line! 810 00:48:33,850 --> 00:48:36,170 Well done. 811 00:48:37,730 --> 00:48:39,810 Well done. 812 00:48:39,850 --> 00:48:43,610 Right. I have got your times here. 813 00:48:45,890 --> 00:48:48,090 So, Kiefer Sutherland, 814 00:48:48,130 --> 00:48:53,730 you did it in one minute... 17.8. 815 00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:56,770 - OK. - I'll pop that up there, now. 816 00:49:02,890 --> 00:49:05,770 Luke Evans. One minute... 817 00:49:06,970 --> 00:49:09,490 ...21.3. 818 00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:15,050 So, there's nothing we can do about that. 819 00:49:15,090 --> 00:49:16,810 I loved it. 820 00:49:16,850 --> 00:49:20,050 - Now you're British! - Oh, great! 821 00:49:24,930 --> 00:49:26,690 Can't resist it. 822 00:49:27,810 --> 00:49:29,890 So there we are. 823 00:49:29,930 --> 00:49:33,530 Just in case you're thinking, "Oh, no, I'm gonna have to hang myself..." 824 00:49:33,570 --> 00:49:38,010 We've had a 1:24.4. 1:24.1. 1:23.6. 1:23. 825 00:49:38,050 --> 00:49:41,130 You're actually there the fifth fastest. 826 00:49:41,170 --> 00:49:42,770 So that's really not a bad time. 827 00:49:42,810 --> 00:49:45,810 It's just his was stellar, absolutely stellar. 828 00:49:45,850 --> 00:49:47,690 There we are, ladies and gentlemen, 829 00:49:47,730 --> 00:49:50,770 Luke Evans and the fastest actor in the world 830 00:49:50,810 --> 00:49:54,010 whose middle name is George, Kiefer Sutherland! 831 00:49:54,050 --> 00:49:55,490 Thank you very much. 832 00:49:55,530 --> 00:49:58,890 Brilliant! 833 00:50:01,690 --> 00:50:03,610 Now, thank you. 834 00:50:03,650 --> 00:50:06,130 Now, tonight we are proving 835 00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:09,610 that old Jaguars are reliable and brilliant. 836 00:50:09,650 --> 00:50:13,370 Yep, and we rejoin the action just as we are about to embark 837 00:50:13,410 --> 00:50:17,050 on one of the biggest challenges us three have ever faced, 838 00:50:17,090 --> 00:50:21,090 avoiding the expense of ski passes and hiring all the kit, 839 00:50:21,130 --> 00:50:24,290 by going skiing in our cars. 840 00:50:34,690 --> 00:50:37,970 Easter Sunday, Telluride. 841 00:50:38,010 --> 00:50:41,610 Rich pickings for a man with a Jag. 842 00:50:43,490 --> 00:50:45,450 Hello, my dear. 843 00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:49,810 Having found somewhere to park, 844 00:50:49,850 --> 00:50:52,250 Hammond checked into the hotel. 845 00:50:52,290 --> 00:50:55,610 Check-in please. Thank you. Can I borrow your pen? Thank you. 846 00:50:55,650 --> 00:50:59,810 You can fill that out. And right here is your key. 847 00:50:59,850 --> 00:51:02,250 - Room number, Wi-Fi. - Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. 848 00:51:09,890 --> 00:51:12,450 I, meanwhile, headed for the restaurant. 849 00:51:52,490 --> 00:51:54,450 It's definitely corked. 850 00:51:54,490 --> 00:51:56,650 Sorry. 851 00:52:01,490 --> 00:52:04,290 The next morning, it was cold outside. 852 00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:08,050 So, we needed warm clothes for our trip up the mountains. 853 00:52:08,090 --> 00:52:12,610 James therefore went shopping, Jag-style. 854 00:52:15,330 --> 00:52:17,370 And I didn't. 855 00:52:20,970 --> 00:52:25,210 Welcome to the hotel, sir. I could take your... your coat. 856 00:52:25,250 --> 00:52:27,490 Thank you very much. 857 00:52:27,530 --> 00:52:30,330 - Had a pleasant trip? - Yes. Yes, thank you. 858 00:52:30,370 --> 00:52:32,410 - Your hat? - Oh, well, thank you. 859 00:52:32,450 --> 00:52:34,610 Perhaps your bag as well, sir. Thank you very much. 860 00:52:34,650 --> 00:52:37,370 If you'd like to see my colleague on reception that would be marvellous. 861 00:52:37,410 --> 00:52:39,770 - Excellent. - Thank you very much. Thank you. 862 00:52:43,050 --> 00:52:46,650 Right, that's my warm weather gear sorted out. 863 00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:49,490 I actually nicked that idea from Peter Sellers. 864 00:52:49,530 --> 00:52:54,250 Don't think he'll mind because of course, he had a Jag. 865 00:52:54,290 --> 00:52:58,010 Once we were fully equipped with suitable clothing, 866 00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,890 we drove straight past the lifts, 867 00:53:00,930 --> 00:53:03,370 and hit the gradients. 868 00:53:03,410 --> 00:53:04,970 Ha-ha, slopes. 869 00:53:05,010 --> 00:53:09,890 Here we go. Speed and power. 870 00:53:09,930 --> 00:53:15,170 Unfortunately, for once, speed and power didn't seem to do the trick. 871 00:53:15,210 --> 00:53:19,570 Oh... Ski, damn you! Come on ski, Jag! 872 00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:24,370 We're going to have to admit this isn't working. 873 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,970 Luckily, James then had a brainwave. 874 00:53:29,530 --> 00:53:33,410 And down at the resort's workshop, he borrowed some metal poles, 875 00:53:33,450 --> 00:53:37,450 which he used to shackle our cars together. 876 00:53:41,810 --> 00:53:44,890 If this works, I'll eat my own head. 877 00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:47,610 Six-wheel drive, all at the same time. 878 00:53:47,650 --> 00:53:53,570 Right, everybody select drive in three, two, one... Gently. 879 00:53:57,570 --> 00:54:01,330 Yes! I think we've got this. 880 00:54:03,210 --> 00:54:04,330 Yeah! 881 00:54:05,810 --> 00:54:08,050 We're like The Human Centipede! 882 00:54:09,570 --> 00:54:11,490 Yeah, no, I got that wrong. 883 00:54:15,770 --> 00:54:19,210 Oh, hello... James is going a bit skewy. I'll give him more power. 884 00:54:21,450 --> 00:54:23,610 Hammond, you're jack-knifing me towards the edge. 885 00:54:23,650 --> 00:54:25,650 Or Clarkson, one of you, somebody. 886 00:54:25,690 --> 00:54:27,850 I'm not doing anything! You're steering. 887 00:54:27,890 --> 00:54:30,050 You're at the front. You're the head of this caterpillar! 888 00:54:30,090 --> 00:54:32,850 I'm not steering! You are. It's jack-knife... 889 00:54:32,890 --> 00:54:36,530 No, it's the edge! Stop, stop! 890 00:54:36,570 --> 00:54:38,890 Right, everybody in reverse. 891 00:54:41,290 --> 00:54:45,970 Three, two, one, gently go. 892 00:54:46,010 --> 00:54:50,570 - Jeremy, where are you going? - You're the one that steers us going backwards. 893 00:54:50,610 --> 00:54:53,210 I wasn't steering you that way, why are you there? 894 00:54:53,250 --> 00:54:57,330 - You've jack-knifed us Hammond, you stupid idiot! - I'm not doing that! 895 00:54:57,370 --> 00:55:00,250 I'm not! 896 00:55:00,290 --> 00:55:02,570 Eventually, after much bickering... 897 00:55:02,610 --> 00:55:04,690 You're pushing me over the edge, you blithering... 898 00:55:04,730 --> 00:55:07,250 When you're going backwards, you're steering you. 899 00:55:07,290 --> 00:55:09,730 - Whose idea was this? - Hammond, you're doing it again. 900 00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:12,090 ...we started to get the hang of it. 901 00:55:16,530 --> 00:55:22,090 I knew this would work. All you got to do is co-ordinate the brains. 902 00:55:22,130 --> 00:55:25,490 This is what comes from many, many years of working together, 903 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,610 that intuitive bond that links us. 904 00:55:28,650 --> 00:55:30,650 Bond of hatred. 905 00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:49,130 And there we are, the summit. 906 00:55:49,170 --> 00:55:52,210 12,500 feet. 907 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,810 We have made it! 908 00:55:56,970 --> 00:55:58,370 Ho-ho! 909 00:56:03,730 --> 00:56:07,290 Good. Right, let's unhitch. 910 00:56:07,330 --> 00:56:13,450 Having bypassed the lifts and cable cars, it was time to start skiing. 911 00:56:13,490 --> 00:56:15,490 Which was a bit of a worry. 912 00:56:15,530 --> 00:56:17,250 Don't look over that edge. 913 00:56:17,290 --> 00:56:20,730 But there's a bit of... It gets really steep. 914 00:56:20,770 --> 00:56:23,610 People do this for fun, yeah? 915 00:56:23,650 --> 00:56:26,050 - Not in old Jags. - Oh, yeah, you're right. 916 00:56:26,090 --> 00:56:31,610 If you went wrong here, look. You'd have time to phone your insurance company. 917 00:56:31,650 --> 00:56:33,450 You'd start filling the form out. 918 00:56:33,490 --> 00:56:35,210 There's the airfield, look. 919 00:56:35,250 --> 00:56:39,530 I can see Heathrow from here. 920 00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:43,850 But, since the only way down was down, we set off. 921 00:56:45,090 --> 00:56:46,730 Gingerly. 922 00:56:48,370 --> 00:56:53,050 Just an ordinary drive. Just an ordinary drive. 923 00:56:53,090 --> 00:56:56,530 Oh... Oh. 924 00:56:57,690 --> 00:57:00,970 Jeez, that's... Don't look. 925 00:57:01,010 --> 00:57:04,530 Erm... there's an... Oh, God. 926 00:57:10,370 --> 00:57:13,930 It's in case I need to bail out. 927 00:57:13,970 --> 00:57:16,930 Steering wheel's working a bit... Ah! 928 00:57:18,010 --> 00:57:21,330 Ooh! 929 00:57:21,370 --> 00:57:26,050 Oh, gawd. What you've got to be wary of is losing the back of the car. 930 00:57:26,090 --> 00:57:29,250 Ooh! Oh, cripes. 931 00:57:29,290 --> 00:57:31,570 Practise braking. Practise braking. 932 00:57:32,810 --> 00:57:35,450 Nothing. 933 00:57:35,490 --> 00:57:39,690 Just going to write a book while we don't stop. Still not stopping. 934 00:57:39,730 --> 00:57:42,610 Picking up speed! Oh, my God! 935 00:57:42,650 --> 00:57:44,690 Got no control now. 936 00:57:46,810 --> 00:57:49,730 Ah... it won't stop! 937 00:57:49,770 --> 00:57:52,930 I'm going to hit that tree. There's nothing... No. 938 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:55,290 Jesus Christ! 939 00:57:55,330 --> 00:57:58,890 Mercifully, the gradient eventually levelled out, 940 00:57:58,930 --> 00:58:03,570 but then it became very narrow. 941 00:58:03,610 --> 00:58:05,810 Oh, my God! Look at the drop on our left. 942 00:58:07,970 --> 00:58:09,490 Holy shit. 943 00:58:12,650 --> 00:58:14,770 It's... Oh, God. 944 00:58:16,170 --> 00:58:19,290 Oh! That's genuinely alarming! 945 00:58:20,490 --> 00:58:22,330 I'm crabbing. 946 00:58:26,090 --> 00:58:28,210 Bloody hell. 947 00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:30,930 Just, why don't you just go in a straight line? 948 00:58:30,970 --> 00:58:34,290 Just please, just briefly... 949 00:58:34,330 --> 00:58:38,650 James, is your car crabbing as well for absolutely no reason? 950 00:58:38,690 --> 00:58:41,730 Yeah, it's absolutely terrifying. 951 00:58:41,770 --> 00:58:44,850 Oh. Oh. 952 00:58:44,890 --> 00:58:47,090 Don't look at the view. Don't look at the drop. 953 00:58:49,810 --> 00:58:53,490 (BEEP) ing hell, this is scary. 954 00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:56,370 Ah... oh. 955 00:58:56,410 --> 00:59:00,050 Oh, shit. Shit, shit! 956 00:59:00,090 --> 00:59:03,010 Having not fallen over the terrifying drop, 957 00:59:03,050 --> 00:59:05,410 we then had to drive down one. 958 00:59:05,450 --> 00:59:08,090 Holy mother of God! 959 00:59:10,410 --> 00:59:12,370 Oh, my God! 960 00:59:16,010 --> 00:59:17,530 Oh, my giddy aunt. 961 00:59:19,050 --> 00:59:21,010 This is quick now. 962 00:59:22,210 --> 00:59:24,570 Oh-ho-ho! 963 00:59:24,610 --> 00:59:29,610 I'm gonna change up a gear. That was a mistake. That was a massive mistake. 964 00:59:32,890 --> 00:59:35,690 Just go in a straight line, you bastard. 965 00:59:39,370 --> 00:59:41,530 Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. 966 00:59:42,770 --> 00:59:44,610 Oh! 967 00:59:44,650 --> 00:59:50,090 But none of us died, and then Jag-skiing started to come together. 968 00:59:59,850 --> 01:00:04,530 Oh, yes, I'm slalom skiing now is what I'm doing, and I'm doing it well! 969 01:00:08,650 --> 01:00:10,410 Ya-ha-ha! 970 01:00:12,210 --> 01:00:13,890 Ho-ho! 971 01:00:13,930 --> 01:00:18,370 And let's be honest, after one day on normal skis, 972 01:00:18,410 --> 01:00:20,450 you'd still be pretty rubbish. 973 01:00:20,490 --> 01:00:25,810 Whereas here, we are absolutely brilliant. 974 01:00:25,850 --> 01:00:29,290 Love to do this with other people on the slopes at the same time. 975 01:00:29,330 --> 01:00:32,050 Could actually run into a snowboarder. 976 01:00:32,090 --> 01:00:34,410 "Oh, I'm sorry, was that annoying? 977 01:00:34,450 --> 01:00:36,290 Now you know what it feels like." 978 01:00:36,330 --> 01:00:41,090 Eventually, we started on the final leg down into the town, 979 01:00:41,130 --> 01:00:44,530 and Richard and I got into a bit of a race. 980 01:00:44,570 --> 01:00:47,530 Come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 981 01:00:47,570 --> 01:00:50,010 Give me a little bit more go. 982 01:00:50,050 --> 01:00:53,650 Oh, bumpy, oh, very bumpy. Very bumpy. 983 01:00:53,690 --> 01:00:56,530 - Oh, yes. - Oh, no! 984 01:00:59,130 --> 01:01:01,210 Whoa, that was a biggy! 985 01:01:01,250 --> 01:01:04,130 Meanwhile, a little further back... 986 01:01:05,690 --> 01:01:09,290 Oh, gawd! I've got a brake warning light on. 987 01:01:09,330 --> 01:01:13,610 I don't know what that means. Pad wear? System failure? God knows. 988 01:01:16,090 --> 01:01:18,050 There's the town. 989 01:01:18,090 --> 01:01:21,970 We're coming in hot and stylishly. 990 01:01:22,010 --> 01:01:26,130 And we wouldn't have to walk to the hotel in silly boots. 991 01:01:26,170 --> 01:01:28,810 We'd simply drive there. 992 01:01:28,850 --> 01:01:30,650 Oh, hello. 993 01:01:30,690 --> 01:01:32,770 Whoa! 994 01:01:32,810 --> 01:01:35,850 Whaagh! 995 01:01:36,930 --> 01:01:39,330 Oh-ho-ho-no! 996 01:01:39,370 --> 01:01:43,250 Oh ho-ho-ho! Oh, there's been an accident. 997 01:01:45,890 --> 01:01:47,890 - Ah. - Damn. 998 01:01:47,930 --> 01:01:50,250 Right. 999 01:01:51,490 --> 01:01:52,970 Only we... 1000 01:01:53,010 --> 01:01:57,250 No, look, we meant to park them there, they look good. 1001 01:01:57,290 --> 01:01:58,970 Oh, no! 1002 01:01:59,010 --> 01:02:03,850 Just keep working, brakes, for another ten seconds or so. 1003 01:02:03,890 --> 01:02:06,210 Exactly where we wanted them to be, 1004 01:02:06,250 --> 01:02:08,450 and that's where they are, and that's good. 1005 01:02:08,490 --> 01:02:13,210 Er... anyway, the thing is that we got here... well, there, 1006 01:02:13,250 --> 01:02:17,970 without a single problem, and with a very definite conclusion. 1007 01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:20,690 - Buy an XJR. - Whoa, no, hang on! 1008 01:02:20,730 --> 01:02:25,250 The point of this exercise was to demonstrate Jaguar's reliability as a make. 1009 01:02:25,290 --> 01:02:27,410 Yes, but we have, and we've also... 1010 01:02:27,450 --> 01:02:29,490 What? Oh. 1011 01:02:35,850 --> 01:02:37,250 Oh, er... 1012 01:02:39,210 --> 01:02:45,010 Brilliant, so we get all the way to the very end, 1013 01:02:45,050 --> 01:02:47,410 and then you ruin it. 1014 01:02:47,450 --> 01:02:49,930 It was hardly my fault, was it? The brakes failed! 1015 01:02:49,970 --> 01:02:52,090 But now you've just told everybody! 1016 01:02:52,130 --> 01:02:55,490 And now they all think that Jaguars have faults, and they won't buy one. 1017 01:02:55,530 --> 01:03:00,130 Which means this entire programme has been a complete waste of time. 1018 01:03:00,170 --> 01:03:02,570 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. 1019 01:03:02,610 --> 01:03:05,410 Thank you so much for watching, see you next time. Goodbye.