1 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:07,270 (ENGINE REVVING) 2 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:09,230 (TRAIN HORN BLASTS) 3 00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:57,150 (CHEERING) 4 00:00:58,470 --> 00:01:00,590 -Yes. -Thank you. 5 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,550 Greetings. Thank you so much. 6 00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:04,510 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 7 00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:07,270 -Hello, everybody. -Thank you. 8 00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:08,430 Thank you. 9 00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:10,230 Whoa! Hello. Thank you. 10 00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:14,310 Thank you so much. 11 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:17,030 JEREMY: Thank you, thank you, thank you. -Thank you. 12 00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:19,630 Thank you. Welcome. 13 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:24,870 And in this show, apart from James's weird jacket and T-shirt combination... 14 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,710 -Nothing to be proud of, mate. -No, it isn't. 15 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:30,030 ...we have many other things besides. 16 00:01:30,070 --> 00:01:32,390 JEREMY: James May changes gear. 17 00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,710 Richard Hammond changes gear. 18 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,030 -(GRUNTS) -(GEARBOX CLUNKS) 19 00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:39,510 And I... 20 00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:42,110 (GEARS CRUNCH) 21 00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,230 (ENGINE REVS) 22 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,270 (GEARS CRUNCH) 23 00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,550 ..change gear. 24 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,670 -(CHEERING) -Thank you. 25 00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:54,430 It's all very exciting. 26 00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:57,910 But we start in the 1950s, when James May was an old man. 27 00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,870 (LAUGHTER) 28 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,470 Now, back then, Jaguar won Le Mans three times with the D-Type. 29 00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:05,190 And after they retired that from racing, 30 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:08,590 they decided to build 25 road-going versions of it, 31 00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:10,790 which they called the XKSS. 32 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,710 We've got a photograph of one here. 33 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:16,190 Now, this was aimed at wealthy young gentlemen 34 00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:18,790 who wanted to spend the week dashing around town 35 00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:21,710 and then the weekend doing motor racing. 36 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:25,910 Steve McQueen had one, and I think that says it all. 37 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:30,150 Unfortunately, in 1957 there was a huge fire at the factory, 38 00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:35,550 and nine of those 25 cars were never made& until now. 39 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:38,990 (BIRDSONG) 40 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,910 Let me make one thing plain right from the start - 41 00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:59,910 this is not a replica XKSS built from plastic, 42 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:02,110 this is an XKSS. 43 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:14,150 Built by Jaguar themselves over 10,000 painstaking hours, it's the real deal. 44 00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:20,550 In fact, it's as real as the real ones from way back when. 45 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:35,830 The chassis is made from a special steel called Reynolds 531. 46 00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:38,830 It's what they originally used to build the World War II Spitfire. 47 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,910 And it's light - it only weighs 39kg. 48 00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:44,030 And then there's the body. 49 00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:47,070 The tooling and the technical drawings were all destroyed in the fire, 50 00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:50,230 so they had to scan an original from 1957 51 00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:53,030 and then work backwards from that to make it, 52 00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:55,510 in incredible detail, right down to the rivets. 53 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:59,230 Every one, the number and the position is as it was. 54 00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:02,150 And there's over 2,000 of them. 55 00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:06,030 But it was the engine that was the trickiest bit. 56 00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:08,670 The plans for that weren't destroyed in the fire - 57 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:13,310 in fact, I've got a copy of them here - but there was a page missing. 58 00:04:13,350 --> 00:04:15,310 So they had to get an original engine 59 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:18,470 and saw it in half to find out how it worked. 60 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:24,310 No-one has ever made a car like this before. 61 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:26,630 It's a world first. 62 00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:32,510 So it's small wonder it's priced at just over one million pounds. 63 00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:38,710 Or, for half a million pounds more, 64 00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:40,550 you can have one of these! 65 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:49,990 It's an Aston Martin DB4 GT Lightweight. 66 00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:55,190 And back in the late '50s, it was the fastest car in the world. 67 00:04:56,550 --> 00:05:00,830 Flat out, it would do 151mph. 68 00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:12,190 But this is not from the late '50s. 69 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:15,790 Despite what you might think when you look at its period dashboard 70 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:19,630 and its period six-cylinder twin-spark engine, 71 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:22,790 it was actually built a few weeks ago. 72 00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,350 So, like Hammond's Jag, 73 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:32,070 it's an old car that's brand-spanking-new. 74 00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:36,950 -So did these two ever race against each other in period? -No, they did! They did! 75 00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:39,790 May, 1960, I was a month old-- 76 00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:42,710 -I was ten years off being born, mate. -Yeah, whatever. 77 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,390 -Picture of it here, look. -Oh, look! There they are! 78 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,590 JEREMY: It's actually a D-Type. RICHARD: The race version. 79 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,830 JEREMY: Yeah, exactly. DB4 GT Lightweight. 80 00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:52,030 I mean, that was proper racing in those days. 81 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,510 -No stewards enquiries every time there was a bump. -No. 82 00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:58,390 They would just finish the race, have a drink, and then some sex. 83 00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,190 We should give it a bash. 84 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,470 What, sex? 85 00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:05,190 -No. -No. 86 00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:10,150 JEREMY: Happily, we were in the French town of Pau, 87 00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:15,830 and it was here in 1901 the first ever Grand Prix was staged. 88 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,150 They were closing roads for races here 89 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:26,310 long before they thought of doing the same thing in Monaco or Detroit. 90 00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:29,350 (ENGINES REVVING) 91 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,510 And today they were closed once more... 92 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,150 ..for us. 93 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,230 Oh, look at this! 94 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:53,990 Closed roads through the centre of Pau. Oh! 95 00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:58,830 Oh, my God! This is like being in history. 96 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:07,350 This may have the same Italian styling as the original, 97 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:13,070 but unlike Hammond's Jag, it is not a faithful replica. 98 00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:17,390 It has, for example, a bigger engine than the original, 99 00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:19,550 which means 40 more brake horsepower. 100 00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:22,070 This thing... This thing is quick! 101 00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:25,710 Whoa! Really quick! 102 00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:33,750 Some things are the same, though. 103 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:37,870 Windows don't wind down. There's no fan or air conditioning of any kind, 104 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:41,070 and it's got a racing gearbox. 105 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:44,990 That means no synchros. 106 00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,670 Which means that when you want to slow down, you have to heel and toe. 107 00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,030 (REVVING) 108 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,830 Like that. Yes! 109 00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:53,710 (TYRES SQUEAL) 110 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,590 That was a skill I never thought I'd need to use again, 111 00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:58,350 a bit like changing a typewriter ribbon. 112 00:08:00,910 --> 00:08:02,470 -(GEARS CRUNCH) -(TYRES SQUEAL) 113 00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:03,990 Whoa! That was& 114 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,870 That was me not matching the revs up, 115 00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:09,710 and that was it not forgiving me. 116 00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:14,590 The really good news, though, is the... 117 00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:16,390 (GEARS CRUNCH) 118 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,590 ..is the brakes. 119 00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:23,270 They're made using modern materials, unlike in Hammond's Jag. 120 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,910 (LAUGHS) 121 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:28,190 Yep, in here it's just me and my big, hairy balls. 122 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,910 And they need to be big. 123 00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:35,990 I can only brake when I'm accelerating. Seriously. 124 00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,190 The power for the brakes comes off the gearbox, 125 00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:40,630 so with the clutch in there isn't any. 126 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,550 Who thought that was a good idea? 127 00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:51,070 Right, time to unleash the 3.4L straight-six. 128 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:55,510 That's 262 brake horsepower bouncing off the walls. 129 00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:07,230 In the '50s, Ferraris were hitting 160 on the Mulsanne Straight. 130 00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:10,710 Jaguar D-Types were hitting 172. 131 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,430 And remember, this is, essentially, a D-Type. 132 00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,310 (LAUGHS) 133 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:28,990 JEREMY: Whoa! 134 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,910 Just feel the lack of grip. 135 00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:36,910 Of course, back in the '50s cars didn't grip, 136 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,870 because they had cross-ply tyres. 137 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:42,350 Back then it was all about how a car handled, 138 00:09:42,390 --> 00:09:45,950 and this thing handles absolutely beautifully. 139 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:51,310 Come on, Hammond, get out of my way! 140 00:09:53,230 --> 00:09:54,510 (LAUGHS) 141 00:09:56,790 --> 00:09:59,990 RICHARD: This really is a special moment. 142 00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:03,710 Just to see these two cars racing around here is incredible. 143 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,670 To be in one of them is unreal! 144 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,750 JEREMY: This is one of the best mornings I've ever had 145 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:17,710 behind the wheel of a car, ever. 146 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,350 And it's just brilliant fun! 147 00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:26,750 JEREMY: Eventually, though, the people of Pau wanted their town back, 148 00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:29,670 so Hammond and I called time on the fun and games 149 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:34,110 and sat down for a natter about our amazing cars. 150 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:39,310 Now, we should explain why Aston Martin and Jaguar 151 00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:43,190 have suddenly decided to start making cars from their back catalogue. 152 00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:46,470 -And really, well, it's second-hand values, isn't it? -Well, basically, yeah. 153 00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:51,510 The last genuine original XKSS to sell went for over £12 million. 154 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,750 -Was it really 12 million? -Twelve million. 155 00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:56,950 So anyone who buys that for a million is getting the bargain of the century. 156 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,150 Yep. 157 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:02,030 And Jaguar's making more profit on that than it would from selling... 158 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,390 RICHARD: A hundred XEs. JEREMY: Exactly. 159 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:07,230 I wouldn't be at all surprised if other carmakers don't start doing this: 160 00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:10,870 Ferrari, Maserati, Lamborghini. 161 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:14,030 If Lancia remade the Fulvia now& 162 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,790 I know, I'd love one. 163 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:19,430 I'd rather have that than one of those. 164 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,510 JEREMY: Is that the new Honda Civic Type R? 165 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,710 -The new-new one, and it is hideous. -It is, honestly& 166 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,110 (CHUCKLES) It's worse than the last one. It's awful! 167 00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:30,190 I mean, the original '90s Civic Type R was brilliant, but that is disgusting. 168 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:32,270 It's revolting is what it is. 169 00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:36,030 Mind you, it's not as revolting... 170 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,990 -What? -...as what's just got out of it. 171 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,790 RICHARD: Oh, God. 172 00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,950 JEREMY: Why are you here? 173 00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:46,750 I'm here because I heard that you two were talking complete rubbish. 174 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,470 You don't buy an old black-and-white television set, 175 00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:51,390 you don't buy a Bakelite telephone. 176 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:53,830 -Why would you buy an old car? -Because they're stylish. 177 00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:57,710 No, new stuff is better than old stuff. I've explained this to you before. 178 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:01,630 The world now is better than it was just one minute ago. 179 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:04,470 No, it isn't, because a minute ago you weren't here. 180 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,630 Yeah, that's true. And neither was that thing, and I do hate it. 181 00:12:07,670 --> 00:12:11,230 It just... That's one of the most revolting cars I've ever seen. 182 00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:14,910 You see, that's amazing - you're both talking rubbish again. 183 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:19,510 JAMES: To prove it, I suggested we take our cars for a simple evening drive. 184 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:23,030 (GRUNTS) Got to get my leg in. 185 00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:24,190 (SIGHS) 186 00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:27,470 (GRUNTS) 187 00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:29,790 Right, here I go. 188 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:33,110 (ENGINE REVVING) 189 00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:34,950 Oh, that's backwards. No, I don't want backwards. 190 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,470 (GEARBOX CLUNKS) 191 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:39,750 (GEARS CRUNCH) 192 00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,990 That's neutral, so& 193 00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:43,990 (GEARS CRUNCH) 194 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,630 (GEARBOX CLUNKS) 195 00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:48,030 -There, first. -(REVVING) 196 00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:49,830 No, that's still... Oh. 197 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,950 What are they doing? 198 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:54,910 (REVVING) 199 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,310 -Struggling a bit here. -No, it's& 200 00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:04,390 -Pulling away is an event. -(GEARS CRUNCH) 201 00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,590 -Ooh! (LAUGHS) -(CRUNCHING CONTINUES) 202 00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,750 -Ooh! -That was a gear, I think. 203 00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:16,070 JAMES: Finally, the golden-age-of-motoring duo were on the move, 204 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,910 but not at what you would call "a hell of a lick". 205 00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:27,230 It's like driving around behind the National Trust. 206 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:30,510 I wouldn't be surprised to find there's a souvenir shop in Hammond's car. 207 00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:34,190 You have to go through it as you get out. 208 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,110 (OVER RADIO) Why are we going so slowly? 209 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:38,910 I want to savour the car and the weather and the journey. 210 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:42,670 I don't want to rush this one. I want to... go slowly. 211 00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:45,670 -Exactly. We want to make it last. -Exactly. 212 00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:50,950 I should admit the real reason we're driving slowly 213 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:56,910 is because this part of the French motorway network is... very heavily policed. 214 00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,790 Hammond and I know this to our cost. 215 00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:04,310 A couple of years ago we were driving along here and I was in an Aston Martin then. 216 00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:06,710 Got busted by the constabulary, 217 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:09,310 who helped themselves to all of our money 218 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:13,270 and took our driving licences away on the spot. 219 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,710 We were left stranded at the side of the road. 220 00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:18,510 I could have been raped... or murdered. 221 00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:23,110 That gives me an idea. 222 00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:26,750 James May... 223 00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:30,830 I'd love to see how fast your car could go along here. 224 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,950 Yeah, let's see what that thing can do. Come on. 225 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:39,590 I want you to unleash - how many horsepower is it, 320? 226 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:42,430 Unleash the lot, James! 227 00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:46,430 -Right, I'll come past like a bloodied samurai. Watch this. -(LAUGHS) 228 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,430 Oh, yes! He's buying it! 229 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:54,150 JAMES: Having dropped back, I then showed them what this car can do. 230 00:14:57,670 --> 00:15:00,830 Here he comes, ladies and gentlemen of the police force. 231 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,710 Oh, wow! 232 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,190 Goodbye, Heritage Britain. 233 00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:07,710 I reckon it's got more to give. 234 00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:11,230 Go on, James! Go on! Keep your foot in it, man! 235 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,150 At the speed he's now travelling, 236 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:23,430 by nightfall he'll be in a cell with Pierre Le Burglar. 237 00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:30,510 JEREMY: Annoyingly, though, when we arrived at the overnight hotel... 238 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,510 Oh, for God's sake! 239 00:15:33,550 --> 00:15:36,710 ..it turned out he'd got away with his recklessness. 240 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:44,670 -No. -You're not coming in? 241 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:48,030 My car's got no roof and no locks. 242 00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:51,550 I can't... I can't leave it unattended. 243 00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:54,310 You have got a point, because the police are more bothered around here 244 00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,230 with speeding than they are with crime. 245 00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:57,950 Exactly. 246 00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:00,670 -You've got no door locks? -No. 247 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,350 God, you're completely screwed. 248 00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:09,390 (RICHARD SIGHS) 249 00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,390 (CHEERING) 250 00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:18,750 JEREMY: I tell you what& 251 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,230 (MIMICS GEARS CRUNCHING) 252 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:25,030 I did get to grips with the gear changing in the end. 253 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:29,510 I did need a shower after that day when I got to my hotel room, I'll tell you. 254 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,630 -Did you really? -Yes, I did. 255 00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:36,670 Because I spent all day sharing a small metal box with a 4.2L radiator 256 00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:39,030 in the South of France, in the summer. 257 00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:40,790 Honestly, my butt crack was-- 258 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,630 We don't need to talk about your butt crack now, please. 259 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,390 What? I'm just saying it was like the Colorado River down there. 260 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:49,750 Yeah, OK. We'll come back to that later. Not that. 261 00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:52,750 We are actually coming back to that later. Sweating like a pig. 262 00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:55,030 But there are other things in there, too. 263 00:16:55,070 --> 00:17:00,310 But right now it is time to ring the doorbell of debate on the house of chat, 264 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:03,150 located on Conversation Street. 265 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,190 (SMOOTH JAZZ) 266 00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:07,150 (LAUGHTER) 267 00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:12,350 (APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH) 268 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:13,390 Erm... 269 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:15,990 Where shall we begin? 270 00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,550 What conversation shall we have? Oh, I know! 271 00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:21,630 Do you remember a while back we were asked to vote on the name 272 00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,830 of that new, very serious Antarctic research vessel, 273 00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:26,790 and we all decided we wanted to call it Boaty McBoatface? 274 00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,830 -Yes. -Remember that? 275 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,030 The authorities were very angry with us for that, and they said... 276 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:33,670 I thought actually that we'd never be consulted again 277 00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:36,190 because the public can't be trusted to be sensible. 278 00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:40,670 Well, news from my hometown, Doncaster, OK? Anyone from Doncaster? 279 00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:43,910 -(CHEERS) -Are you actually from Doncaster? You'll like this. 280 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:45,950 -It's actually news from Doncaster, OK? -(LAUGHTER) 281 00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:48,670 The council has decided to risk it, OK? 282 00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:52,190 And they asked the people of Doncaster to vote on a name 283 00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:55,550 for two new sort of snowplough road-gritter things. 284 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,470 -Oh, yeah? -OK? 285 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,350 Would you like to hear suggestions people have come up with? 286 00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:01,590 -Yes, please, Jeremy, we would. -Here we go. 287 00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,390 -Grit Van Dyke. -(LAUGHTER) 288 00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:07,150 -True Grit, Rule Gritannia. -I like that. 289 00:18:07,190 --> 00:18:09,430 -Salt Disney. -I see what they've done. 290 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:12,430 These are the names they've chosen. One of them is going to be called 291 00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:15,430 Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney. 292 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,310 (LAUGHTER) 293 00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:20,630 The other one, though, is going to be called David Plowie. 294 00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:22,390 That doesn't work. 295 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,390 I think they were hoping we'd think it was David Plowie, 296 00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,790 but it isn't, it's David Plowie - it doesn't work. 297 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,870 -As in snowplough. No. -Well, that would work in Birmingham, wouldn't it? 298 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,990 (IN BIRMINGHAM ACCENT) "I'll get the snowplough out. 299 00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:34,270 All right, we'll call it David Plowie, then." 300 00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:35,870 (LAUGHTER) 301 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:38,070 The marvellous thing is the council, OK, they said, 302 00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,510 "This vote cheered the whole of Britain up." 303 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,790 Well, it hasn't cheered me up. 304 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,110 And the man from the council said, "It's got people interested in gritting." 305 00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:47,110 Well, it just hasn't, has it? 306 00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,550 We would be interested in gritting if we'd thought of a name. 307 00:18:49,590 --> 00:18:52,510 Yeah, well, we'd just call it Gary Gritter, wouldn't we? Let's be honest. 308 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,750 Or maybe Ice-ish. That could work. 309 00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:57,950 JEREMY: Yeah. -(LAUGHTER) 310 00:18:57,990 --> 00:19:00,990 Gary Gritter or Ice-ish: do we think those are better names...? Oh, hang on. 311 00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:02,670 -Adolf Gritler. -Perfect! 312 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:05,070 -(LAUGHTER) RICHARD: Those are better names. 313 00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:07,710 JEREMY: That's a good one. -They like that. Yeah, that works. That's good. 314 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:11,430 Which shall we have? Shall we go with Itsy Bitsy and the other one or our names? 315 00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:14,510 -Who wants our names? Hands up. Hands up. -(CHEERING) 316 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,790 -That was a vote, Doncaster. RICHARD: Yeah. 317 00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:19,790 -It's just what it's gonna have to be. -Gary and Adolf the gritters. 318 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:21,710 (LAUGHTER) 319 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:24,230 Right, the organisers of the Formula E motor racing series - 320 00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,590 which is like Formula 1, but for electric cars - 321 00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:30,310 they recently staged a race between one of their cars and a cheetah. 322 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:34,430 Now, we've got a shot from the video they took of it here. 323 00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:37,270 Now, let me ask you two a question, right? 324 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,670 The cheetah's top speed is 70mph. 325 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:45,230 The car's top speed is 140mph. So which one do you think won? 326 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,550 -Was it the car? -Yes, it was. 327 00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:50,670 Wow! So the mechanical device with a higher top speed beat the bewildered animal 328 00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:52,510 that didn't know what was going on? 329 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:53,950 (LAUGHTER) 330 00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:57,030 Literally the most pointless race in history. 331 00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:59,990 Yeah, it was basically an exercise in not running over a cheetah. 332 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:01,990 (LAUGHTER) 333 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:04,350 -Do you know, I was following a pigeon the other day. -You what? 334 00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:06,510 Is this a new job? Have you opened an agency? 335 00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:10,590 Jeremy Clarkson PD: pigeon detective. It's gonna be brilliant. 336 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,710 Did its partner think it was cheating? "Follow him!" 337 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,510 No, I was just following-- 338 00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:16,790 Every time it stopped, did you have to read a newspaper, 339 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,550 and then look for its reflection in a shop window? 340 00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:22,350 -I was merely following-- -Anyway, you should have just gone to Trafalgar Square. 341 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:24,630 -That's where they go. -(LAUGHTER) 342 00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:28,470 I was merely driving up my drive, and a pigeon was flying along in front of me, 343 00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:31,470 and I clocked it, and it was doing 35mph. 344 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,790 -Was it? -Yeah. 345 00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:36,510 That's another animal that would lose a race against a Formula E car, then, 346 00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:38,430 because that does 140. 347 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,710 It had nothing to do with running a private detective agency. 348 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,710 But you are running a private detective agency? 349 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,630 I was simply following a pigeon! It wasn't that interesting! 350 00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:46,830 Anyway, the essence of it is-- 351 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,310 Did you follow it into a tree? Because that would have been really risky. 352 00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:53,190 No, the essence of it is if your animal does less than 140mph, 353 00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,630 it will lose the race against the Formula E car. 354 00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:58,750 If it does more than... Well, no animal does more than 140. 355 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,430 It does. A peregrine falcon does. It does 220. 356 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:04,190 What if you have to follow one of those? 357 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:08,110 -"I can't take the case, I'm afraid. I'll need a new car." -(LAUGHTER) 358 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:12,110 Lamborghini has come up with a new four-by-four. We've got a picture of it here. 359 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:14,950 -Amazing-looking thing. Fabulous, actually. RICHARD: It does look good. 360 00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:18,910 JEREMY: Make no mistake. Twin-turbo V8, which will be an Audi or a Porsche engine. 361 00:21:18,950 --> 00:21:21,990 Er... Six hundred and forty-one horsepower. 362 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:25,430 The only problem is they've called it the Urus. 363 00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:27,870 -U-R-U-S, yeah? -Yeah. 364 00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:31,550 Well, that... That sounds to me like another word for bumhole. 365 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,710 -(LAUGHTER) -I know what you mean. It is a bit medical-sounding. 366 00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:37,230 It is. "How is your Urus?" "It's a bit itchy, actually." 367 00:21:37,270 --> 00:21:39,670 (LAUGHTER) 368 00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:41,670 "Mine's inflamed. I can't pee." It's one of those things, isn't it? 369 00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:44,270 -It's something down there. -Exactly, down there. 370 00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:47,670 When you go to the doctor's, "I'm gonna check your Urus," and then he puts a glove on. 371 00:21:47,710 --> 00:21:50,790 "Oh, he's snapping a glove on. I don't want that." 372 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:53,150 Anyway, so if you want one of those, there it is. 373 00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:57,310 Ooh! Can I just talk about the Ford F150 pickup truck, OK? 374 00:21:57,350 --> 00:22:00,990 Now, how many do you think they sell in America? 375 00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:05,110 -I know it's a lot. -A lot. It's 2,500 a day. 376 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:06,590 -Get sold? -A day. 377 00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:08,590 -That's new - new F150s. -That's huge numbers. 378 00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:12,230 And Ford has decided, amazingly, they would like to sell more, 379 00:22:12,270 --> 00:22:15,670 so they're about to introduce a hybrid version. 380 00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:18,830 JAMES: Really? -(CHUCKLES) Yes, a hybrid F150 pickup truck. 381 00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:22,990 I can't imagine that F150 owners are very interested in a hy-- 382 00:22:23,030 --> 00:22:25,510 -I don't think they know what it is. -They wouldn't. 383 00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:29,270 You're dead right. They've actually done some research over there in America land, 384 00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:32,990 and it turns out that F150 customers, when asked, 385 00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:38,390 list fuel consumption as the 28th most important thing in their buying consideration. 386 00:22:38,430 --> 00:22:41,230 There are 27 things they would think about first on the car? 387 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:44,190 -Yeah, 27 more important things. -But what things? 388 00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,350 I can't think of 27 things on a car. 389 00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:48,390 Well, hold on. Looks... 390 00:22:48,430 --> 00:22:50,790 MAN: Cupholders. -Cupholders, definitely. 391 00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,430 -Yes, that works. JEREMY: Power. 392 00:22:52,470 --> 00:22:54,150 -Power. -Price. 393 00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:56,150 -The size of the load bay thing at the back. -Yeah. 394 00:22:56,190 --> 00:22:58,230 -What else is more important? MAN: Gun rack. 395 00:22:58,270 --> 00:23:00,110 -What? MAN: Gun rack. 396 00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:02,510 -Gun rack! "Somewhere for my gun!" -(LAUGHTER) 397 00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:04,590 Six. Definitely gun rack. 398 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:07,750 If they're saying that fuel consumption doesn't matter - 399 00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:09,550 which is what those owners are saying - 400 00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:11,470 why, then, are Ford making a hybrid at all? 401 00:23:11,510 --> 00:23:13,990 -Why are they bothering? -Ah, well, now-- 402 00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:17,030 No, they've got to. It's because of the environmental rules that Obama brought in. 403 00:23:17,070 --> 00:23:19,230 All the companies have to do a certain... 404 00:23:19,270 --> 00:23:22,590 But Ford are saying the batteries that are part of the hybrid system, OK, 405 00:23:22,630 --> 00:23:26,710 they're not some Communist Bloc to combat fake news, global warming. 406 00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:28,950 OK, it's got batteries in it, yes, 407 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,990 but they are for charging up your mitre saw, 408 00:23:32,030 --> 00:23:35,350 cooling beer and running the coffeemaker on a camping trip. 409 00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:36,670 (LAUGHTER) 410 00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:39,190 So the F150 is a pickup 411 00:23:39,230 --> 00:23:42,910 for carrying a big battery to cool your beer. 412 00:23:42,950 --> 00:23:46,270 And that... I think that is enough conversation for one week, don't you? 413 00:23:46,310 --> 00:23:48,830 -More than, yes. -So let's move it on. Erm... 414 00:23:48,870 --> 00:23:52,310 Right, the new Ford GT. I used one recently in the race we had 415 00:23:52,350 --> 00:23:55,310 from New York to the Niagara Falls. 416 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:59,670 And I'm not sure that on a freeway journey like that I got the best out of it. 417 00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:01,670 Yeah, you chose the wrong car. 418 00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:03,870 -Well, not really. -No, he's right, you did. 419 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,990 Well, the GT was designed as a racing car. 420 00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:08,510 In fact, it won the first time out at Le Mans, 421 00:24:08,550 --> 00:24:11,510 and therefore, as we know, using one on the street is stupid. 422 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:15,710 -So you're saying I should have tested it on a track? -Yes. 423 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:17,070 Good, because I have done. 424 00:24:29,190 --> 00:24:31,590 JEREMY: There are those who say that, on a track, 425 00:24:31,630 --> 00:24:35,950 the pretty-boy GT is better than anything made in Europe. 426 00:24:35,990 --> 00:24:38,550 That it's more exciting than all of its rivals 427 00:24:38,590 --> 00:24:41,950 from Lamborghini and McLaren... and Ferrari. 428 00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:47,950 Well, before I can find out, I have to stop. 429 00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:51,790 Right, now we're stationary, I can put it in track mode... 430 00:24:51,830 --> 00:24:53,030 (CHIMES) 431 00:24:53,070 --> 00:24:55,310 ..which will lower the car gently. 432 00:24:55,350 --> 00:24:57,750 -(WHIRRING) -Not that gently. 433 00:24:57,790 --> 00:25:01,310 It will engage the anti-lag system so the power is always available, 434 00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:06,950 raise the rear wing, and stiffen the suspension by 100%. 435 00:25:06,990 --> 00:25:10,750 Good. So, now let's see what's what. 436 00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:28,150 The first thing I can tell you is this is not as delicate as a Ferrari. 437 00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:32,150 Ferrari is balletic. 438 00:25:32,190 --> 00:25:35,750 This is more like pogo-dancing to The Ramones. 439 00:25:38,550 --> 00:25:39,910 (TYRES SQUEAL) 440 00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:42,110 (LAUGHS) 441 00:25:42,150 --> 00:25:46,430 This is hard and brutal and unrefined. 442 00:25:46,470 --> 00:25:51,790 When you're in a Ferrari, it's like you're wrapped in silk. 443 00:25:51,830 --> 00:25:56,750 In this, it feels like you've fallen into a saw at a lumberyard. 444 00:25:57,990 --> 00:26:00,070 (REVVING) 445 00:26:04,430 --> 00:26:10,950 Don't think, however, that it's just a barroom brawler - all doors and no trousers. 446 00:26:10,990 --> 00:26:13,310 It is way more than that. 447 00:26:15,190 --> 00:26:17,190 (TYRES SQUEAL) 448 00:26:20,030 --> 00:26:24,030 The steering's brilliant, the brakes are brilliant. 449 00:26:24,070 --> 00:26:26,430 You get the very distinct impression 450 00:26:26,470 --> 00:26:29,670 that nothing in this has really been compromised 451 00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:32,790 to make it work elegantly on the road. 452 00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:38,190 This is a car for people who wear Nomex, not spandex. 453 00:26:40,870 --> 00:26:45,430 It's like the chassis's made from pure telepathy. 454 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:47,750 You can absolutely wring its neck... 455 00:26:49,310 --> 00:26:51,430 ..and it just keeps coming back for more. 456 00:26:54,630 --> 00:26:57,310 Why can't more cars feel like this? 457 00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:01,230 (TYRES SQUEAL) 458 00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:03,190 (CHUCKLES) 459 00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,150 (TYRES SQUEAL) 460 00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:10,470 Then there's the twin-turbocharged V6 engine. 461 00:27:11,950 --> 00:27:15,110 Yes, the soundtrack is terrible. 462 00:27:15,150 --> 00:27:16,910 It just makes a noise. 463 00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:18,950 (AGGRESSIVE REVVING) 464 00:27:18,990 --> 00:27:22,390 A lot of noise... all of the time. 465 00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:26,990 (CHUCKLES) 466 00:27:28,830 --> 00:27:32,550 And it only produces 647 horsepower, 467 00:27:32,590 --> 00:27:37,310 which in this day and age is a lot, but it's not a colossal lot. 468 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:43,590 You can't help thinking a thumping great V8 469 00:27:43,630 --> 00:27:45,910 would have solved both of these problems. 470 00:27:50,910 --> 00:27:53,510 But they didn't want a thumping great V8 471 00:27:53,550 --> 00:27:57,070 because they wanted the GT to be liked. 472 00:27:57,110 --> 00:28:02,750 That's why it has a carbon-fibre tub and an aluminium subframe. 473 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:08,190 It's designed to be kept on the ground only by the weight coming from its aerodynamics. 474 00:28:10,470 --> 00:28:12,790 If you take that weight out of the equation 475 00:28:12,830 --> 00:28:14,990 by putting the car in V-Max mode, 476 00:28:15,030 --> 00:28:17,470 which locks the rear wing down, 477 00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:19,350 well, who cares it's only got a V6? 478 00:28:19,390 --> 00:28:24,390 Because the performance, it is blistering. 479 00:28:24,430 --> 00:28:27,950 Nought to 60 takes 2.8 seconds. 480 00:28:29,430 --> 00:28:30,990 Jesus Christ! 481 00:28:33,110 --> 00:28:36,950 And the top speed is 216. 482 00:28:38,390 --> 00:28:40,150 (WHIMPERS) 483 00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:43,710 (AIR HISSES) 484 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:48,870 Of course, the GT is not perfect. 485 00:28:48,910 --> 00:28:52,310 The steering wheel is ugly and difficult to use, 486 00:28:52,350 --> 00:28:54,790 the fuel tank is too small, 487 00:28:54,830 --> 00:28:56,470 and the body is too big. 488 00:28:57,550 --> 00:28:59,950 And yet... 489 00:28:59,990 --> 00:29:04,590 Ferraris and Lamborghinis and McLarens are very good cars, make no mistake about that. 490 00:29:04,630 --> 00:29:07,670 But mostly they're bought by posers. 491 00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:09,670 Now, this isn't for posing. 492 00:29:09,710 --> 00:29:13,830 It's too rough and too plasticky and too noisy for that. 493 00:29:13,870 --> 00:29:17,870 You buy one of these so you can go to a track on a miserable Monday morning 494 00:29:17,910 --> 00:29:21,910 when nobody's looking... and do this. 495 00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:24,150 (ENGINE STARTS, WHIRRING) 496 00:29:24,190 --> 00:29:25,550 (REVVING) 497 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:30,110 -Whoo! -(TYRES SQUEAL) 498 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,230 And you've got to love it for that. 499 00:29:36,750 --> 00:29:38,550 (TYRES SQUEAL) 500 00:29:40,950 --> 00:29:42,870 (CHEERING) 501 00:29:45,030 --> 00:29:49,670 Do you know... the strange thing about that car 502 00:29:49,710 --> 00:29:53,430 is that I finished filming it, got into my car, went home, 503 00:29:53,470 --> 00:29:56,830 and I haven't really given the GT another thought since. 504 00:29:56,870 --> 00:29:59,550 I think it's something to do with the fact it's got that V6, 505 00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:02,310 because V6 engines just aren't exciting. 506 00:30:02,350 --> 00:30:04,070 It's like they've got no personality. 507 00:30:04,110 --> 00:30:06,550 Some are, but I'm with you a lot of the time. 508 00:30:06,590 --> 00:30:09,630 He's right. If they're turbocharged especially, because then they don't rev. 509 00:30:09,670 --> 00:30:11,950 You want that extra bit of... 510 00:30:11,990 --> 00:30:15,510 It could be the interior, which is made from that... It feels like shiny plastic. 511 00:30:15,550 --> 00:30:18,510 It feels cheap and low-rent. But whatever it is, 512 00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:22,030 it feels to me as though it hasn't really got a soul. 513 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:27,110 But we must now find out how fast it goes around the Eboladrome. 514 00:30:28,190 --> 00:30:29,670 Right, here we go. 515 00:30:29,710 --> 00:30:32,030 (REVVING) 516 00:30:32,070 --> 00:30:35,430 JEREMY: And she's off! Spoiler up, suspension dropped, in full track mode, 517 00:30:35,470 --> 00:30:40,310 as she makes a confident start onto the Isn't. 518 00:30:40,350 --> 00:30:44,630 Knocking it down a gear for the first curve to keep those turbos spinning, 519 00:30:44,670 --> 00:30:48,830 and already looking on the raggedy edge. 520 00:30:48,870 --> 00:30:53,430 She's really not mucking about here, as she flies into Your Name Here. 521 00:30:53,470 --> 00:30:55,230 (TYRES SQUEAL) 522 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:58,310 Ooh! There's a howl from the bespoke Michelins there. 523 00:30:58,350 --> 00:31:02,630 Now... Oh, yeah, look at that smooth arc around Your Name Here, 524 00:31:02,670 --> 00:31:08,430 and then lighting the afterburners for the fast run back down the Isn't. 525 00:31:08,470 --> 00:31:11,310 Not what you would call a soulful sound, as we've said, 526 00:31:11,350 --> 00:31:15,150 but there's no doubting the sheer speed of this thing. 527 00:31:15,190 --> 00:31:19,830 OK, into Old Lady's House. Taking it steady through there. 528 00:31:19,870 --> 00:31:22,150 Easy does it. 529 00:31:22,190 --> 00:31:27,470 And now back on the gas for what will be a bumpy ride down to Substation. 530 00:31:28,830 --> 00:31:31,870 Hard on the mighty carbon brakes. 531 00:31:31,910 --> 00:31:35,590 Neat through there. This is a Le-Mans-winning performance. 532 00:31:35,630 --> 00:31:39,070 Through Field of Sheep and across the line! 533 00:31:39,110 --> 00:31:42,470 -(CHEERING) -That looked unbelievably quick. Did you see it? 534 00:31:42,510 --> 00:31:44,030 RICHARD: Yeah, skittering. -It was properly& 535 00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:47,230 She must have been properly hanging on in there. 536 00:31:47,270 --> 00:31:51,630 Anyway, we must now find out where it goes on the board. 537 00:31:51,670 --> 00:31:54,830 Let's have a look. I imagine pretty high. 538 00:31:54,870 --> 00:31:56,510 RICHARD: Oh! -(APPLAUSE) 539 00:31:56,550 --> 00:31:57,750 JEREMY: Well, yes. 540 00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:01,430 One seventeen six. 541 00:32:01,470 --> 00:32:04,710 RICHARD: That's... a second or so slower than the Lamborghini, 542 00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:07,270 which is half the price, remember. 543 00:32:07,310 --> 00:32:10,390 Yeah, but I think what that shows is not that the Ford is slow, because it just isn't - 544 00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:12,830 I mean, it's quicker than a McLaren 720. 545 00:32:12,870 --> 00:32:16,590 What that shows actually is just how fast that Huracán is. 546 00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,470 No. Yes, exactly. That's blistering. 547 00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:21,070 Absolutely blistering. Unbelievable car, that. 548 00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:24,870 Anyway, it's now time for Celebrity Face-Off. 549 00:32:33,790 --> 00:32:35,910 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 550 00:32:37,910 --> 00:32:41,030 Yeah. And once again& 551 00:32:41,070 --> 00:32:44,790 Once again, we have a very big question, and it is this: 552 00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:50,030 who is the fastest drummer from a band beginning with the letter "P"? 553 00:32:50,070 --> 00:32:53,750 To find out, would you please welcome from The Police, Stewart Copeland, 554 00:32:53,790 --> 00:32:56,270 and from Pink Floyd, Nick Mason! 555 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:58,150 (CHEERING) 556 00:32:58,190 --> 00:32:59,710 JEREMY: Look at this! 557 00:33:01,590 --> 00:33:03,790 We are in the presence of greatness. 558 00:33:04,990 --> 00:33:07,310 Gentlemen. Nick. 559 00:33:07,350 --> 00:33:09,350 -Have a seat, Stewart. -Very nice to meet you. 560 00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:11,350 Holy cow! Look at that! 561 00:33:13,110 --> 00:33:16,190 We are not messing around tonight. 562 00:33:16,230 --> 00:33:19,790 Genuine rock gods have come among us. 563 00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:23,270 You are both regarded as particularly excellent drummers. 564 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:25,030 Well, by each other, yeah. 565 00:33:25,070 --> 00:33:27,070 (LAUGHTER) 566 00:33:27,110 --> 00:33:29,110 And one thing I see that you have in common 567 00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:31,070 is your favourite drummer is the same person. 568 00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:33,350 Yeah, Mitch Mitchell. We worked this out last night. 569 00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:36,110 -We sorted out the hierarchy last night. -That's exactly right. 570 00:33:36,150 --> 00:33:39,910 And er...I knew we were really on it, because the table next door 571 00:33:39,950 --> 00:33:41,790 were beginning to eavesdrop, 572 00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:44,470 and after five minutes they had both actually gone to sleep. 573 00:33:44,510 --> 00:33:47,430 That's right. We lost them. We had lost them by the main course. 574 00:33:47,470 --> 00:33:50,110 So you both agree that Mitch Mitchell was your favourite drummer? 575 00:33:50,150 --> 00:33:52,390 Yeah, our favourite, I think. 576 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,150 This was Jimi Hendrix's drummer, I think we should explain to those of you 577 00:33:55,190 --> 00:33:57,430 who are not as old as, let's say, we are. 578 00:33:57,470 --> 00:33:58,910 Well, that's the travesty right there. 579 00:33:58,950 --> 00:34:02,150 This great towering, this monument of drums... 580 00:34:02,190 --> 00:34:03,990 "was Jimi Hendrix's drummer." 581 00:34:04,030 --> 00:34:05,510 Well, how would you describe him? 582 00:34:05,550 --> 00:34:08,110 Well, Jimi was Mitch's guitarist. 583 00:34:08,150 --> 00:34:10,710 -Nice. Good. -Yeah. 584 00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:14,470 One thing that fascinates me is why are drummers always the butt of everybody's wit? 585 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:16,750 Well, when I say "wit" I mean jokes. 586 00:34:16,790 --> 00:34:20,510 It's because they secretly admire our dragging knuckles. 587 00:34:20,550 --> 00:34:23,270 -(LAUGHTER) -They sense our power. 588 00:34:23,310 --> 00:34:25,430 But there are so many good jokes, right? 589 00:34:25,470 --> 00:34:27,750 What does a drummer get on an IQ test? 590 00:34:27,790 --> 00:34:29,670 BOTH: Drool. JEREMY: Yeah, drool, exactly. 591 00:34:29,710 --> 00:34:32,990 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you throw a drowning guitarist? 592 00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:36,110 -His amp. -(LAUGHTER) 593 00:34:36,150 --> 00:34:39,910 How do you know it's the lead guitarist at the front door? 594 00:34:39,950 --> 00:34:42,750 -Got the wrong key, doesn't know when to come in. STEWART: Yeah. 595 00:34:44,870 --> 00:34:46,990 -(APPLAUSE) -That's a good one. 596 00:34:47,030 --> 00:34:48,670 So we like the guitarist jokes. 597 00:34:48,710 --> 00:34:51,830 Yeah, got any more jokes? 598 00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:55,030 By the way, since we're the gnarliest members of the band, 599 00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:58,270 for two hours we chop wood for a living, 600 00:34:58,310 --> 00:35:00,910 and they're prissy little fiddling in front of this thing. 601 00:35:00,950 --> 00:35:03,750 And you're giving it... Yes, it is. It's hard work as well. 602 00:35:03,790 --> 00:35:05,830 They tell these jokes and we just take it. 603 00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:07,590 -We do. -Because that's how great we are. 604 00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:09,270 (LAUGHTER) 605 00:35:09,310 --> 00:35:11,270 You have a rule as well if you make a mistake with drumming, 606 00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:12,750 which I particularly enjoy. 607 00:35:12,790 --> 00:35:16,750 The suggestion is, if you do make a mistake... 608 00:35:16,790 --> 00:35:18,390 look angrily at the bass player. 609 00:35:18,430 --> 00:35:20,430 (LAUGHTER) 610 00:35:20,470 --> 00:35:22,830 "What the hell are you doing?" Let's move on to gigs. 611 00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:25,710 You both presumably played really big ones over the years. 612 00:35:25,750 --> 00:35:27,990 What's been your biggest, do you reckon? 613 00:35:28,030 --> 00:35:29,990 Well, we've been comparing notes, but, you know, 614 00:35:30,030 --> 00:35:31,830 you played a stadium and there are... 615 00:35:31,870 --> 00:35:35,070 -We sell out, so, you know... -Yeah, a stadium's a stadium. 616 00:35:35,110 --> 00:35:38,230 But I think he's still got me. We all played the Stade de France. 617 00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:40,670 I played it twice - you know, two nights running - 618 00:35:40,710 --> 00:35:43,030 he played it three times running. 619 00:35:43,070 --> 00:35:47,190 OK, he beat me on this one, then he beat me on that one, because he came before me. 620 00:35:47,230 --> 00:35:49,070 This is the way musicians establish the hierarchy. 621 00:35:49,110 --> 00:35:50,750 He's a drummer, they always come first. 622 00:35:50,790 --> 00:35:53,630 You know, Manfred Mann outranks me because he came before, 623 00:35:53,670 --> 00:35:55,390 but Kanye is my bitch. 624 00:36:03,470 --> 00:36:06,030 -Now, I've got a question here from Richard Hammond. RICHARD: Oh, God. 625 00:36:06,070 --> 00:36:08,270 JEREMY: No, no. -Where is he? 626 00:36:08,310 --> 00:36:10,550 -Richard Hammond - he's there, in the audience. STEWART: There you are. 627 00:36:10,590 --> 00:36:12,630 -He's a big fan of One Direction. RICHARD: What? 628 00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:15,670 -(LAUGHTER) -And his question is, "How do you old dinosaurs feel 629 00:36:15,710 --> 00:36:17,190 now that music's got so good?" 630 00:36:17,230 --> 00:36:19,910 RICHARD: I didn't say that! -(LAUGHTER) 631 00:36:19,950 --> 00:36:21,910 I did not say that! 632 00:36:21,950 --> 00:36:25,150 -You did say that. -I didn't say that! Why would I say that? 633 00:36:25,190 --> 00:36:28,150 -I think I'll let Mr Mason handle this one. -Yeah. 634 00:36:28,190 --> 00:36:30,470 Well, I'd like to go on record as saying 635 00:36:30,510 --> 00:36:34,710 that fairly recently erm... I was on a show. 636 00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:37,390 I was promoting something - probably double glazing - 637 00:36:37,430 --> 00:36:40,950 and I was with erm... Harry Styles was on as well. 638 00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:43,270 And I did offer to play drums for him, 639 00:36:43,310 --> 00:36:45,630 because I'm really looking for work. I mean... 640 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,470 (LAUGHTER) 641 00:36:47,510 --> 00:36:49,110 We've got to get on to cars. No, actually, we haven't. 642 00:36:49,150 --> 00:36:52,030 No, not yet, because I want to talk about fathers. 643 00:36:52,070 --> 00:36:55,350 -Because your father was... -..a wonderful man. 644 00:36:55,390 --> 00:36:58,030 -And a CIA spy. -That, too. 645 00:36:58,070 --> 00:37:00,150 -In his spare time. -In his spare time. 646 00:37:00,190 --> 00:37:02,990 He was a great father and a jazz musician. That's how I knew him. 647 00:37:03,030 --> 00:37:05,630 And he was uh... Before the war he played jazz, 648 00:37:05,670 --> 00:37:07,990 and I've still got his trumpet - he was a session player. 649 00:37:08,030 --> 00:37:11,950 Then the Great War broke out and he joined the army and got into intelligence, 650 00:37:11,990 --> 00:37:15,830 and he shaped the modern Middle East as it was up until 9/11. 651 00:37:15,870 --> 00:37:18,630 Everything that happened after 9/11 is not my dad's fault. 652 00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,710 -No. -(LAUGHTER) 653 00:37:20,750 --> 00:37:23,870 I mean, he was very instrumental in Nasser in Egypt, wasn't he? 654 00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:27,830 Yeah, well, when I was born, Daddy was away on business in Cairo, 655 00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:31,430 installing Gamal Abdel Nasser as the dictator of Egypt. 656 00:37:31,470 --> 00:37:33,510 Did you know your dad was CIA? 657 00:37:33,550 --> 00:37:37,750 I didn't know until I was in college and um...his book came out. 658 00:37:37,790 --> 00:37:41,110 -And on the liner notes of the book... -(LAUGHTER) 659 00:37:41,150 --> 00:37:43,830 OK, but when did he stop being a spy? 660 00:37:43,870 --> 00:37:46,670 -I... Well... -Well, certainly after he'd written the book. 661 00:37:53,790 --> 00:37:56,950 And your father - we can turn to that. Now, he was a documentary maker. 662 00:37:56,990 --> 00:38:00,190 -Mm-hm. -But mostly a motor racing enthusiast. 663 00:38:00,230 --> 00:38:02,710 -Yeah. -Which has rubbed off on you. 664 00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,590 Mm, just a bit. 665 00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:07,190 This is where I'm afraid we have to tune you out slightly, Stewart, 666 00:38:07,230 --> 00:38:10,350 for a little while, because Nick's car collection is... 667 00:38:10,390 --> 00:38:12,710 -This is a car show. -It is a car show. 668 00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:15,830 -Not a spy-daddy show. -(LAUGHTER) 669 00:38:15,870 --> 00:38:19,070 -How many cars have you got? -I don't know. Erm... 670 00:38:19,110 --> 00:38:20,470 (LAUGHTER) 671 00:38:20,510 --> 00:38:22,910 Hm. Twen-- 672 00:38:22,950 --> 00:38:24,470 Thir-- 673 00:38:24,510 --> 00:38:25,590 Thir-- Forty? 674 00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:26,950 Forty? 675 00:38:26,990 --> 00:38:29,190 I've got a list here of some of them. 676 00:38:29,230 --> 00:38:32,150 We're not talking now about, you know, cars like a Ford Cortina, 677 00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:35,270 because you've got an Alfa Romeo TZ1, 678 00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:39,070 Aston Martin Ulster, 1930 Bentley 4.5L, 679 00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:43,030 Bugatti Type 35, Ferrari 250 GTO, 680 00:38:43,070 --> 00:38:47,950 Ferrari 250 LM, Ferrari 512 Berlinetta Boxer, Ferrari Daytona Competition, 681 00:38:47,990 --> 00:38:51,470 Ferrari F40, Model T4, Jaguar D-Type, 682 00:38:51,510 --> 00:38:56,510 Maserati 250F, Maserati Birdcage, McLaren GTR. 683 00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:59,990 It's a remarkable collection. Which is your favourite? 684 00:39:00,030 --> 00:39:04,030 Er... It always has to be the 250 GTO, 685 00:39:04,070 --> 00:39:06,310 because it makes me look clever. 686 00:39:06,350 --> 00:39:08,630 You know, when I bought this car 40 years ago... 687 00:39:08,670 --> 00:39:10,870 JEREMY: May I just ask - it's a rude question, I know - 688 00:39:10,910 --> 00:39:13,830 but how much did you pay for the GTO? 689 00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:17,230 -I paid about 35 grand for it. -Thirty-five thousand? 690 00:39:17,270 --> 00:39:20,470 -And it's now worth...? -I... Don't tell me. 691 00:39:20,510 --> 00:39:23,670 -Thirty million. -(AUDIENCE GASPS) 692 00:39:23,710 --> 00:39:25,750 No, more than that. Oh! 693 00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:27,990 (LAUGHTER) 694 00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:31,670 -Where are all these cars? -Oh, God. I've left them on the meter. 695 00:39:31,710 --> 00:39:34,670 Have you got, like, the garage from hell? 696 00:39:34,710 --> 00:39:38,630 And these are largely racing cars. It's racing that interests you more than... 697 00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:42,230 Yeah. I never wanted to be a car collector, I wanted to go motor racing. 698 00:39:42,270 --> 00:39:45,310 -And you do actually use them? -Yes. 699 00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:48,950 -And lend them out? -Erm... Not often, but occasionally, yeah. 700 00:39:48,990 --> 00:39:51,630 -Well, you lend them to your family. -(CHUCKLES) Yes. 701 00:39:51,670 --> 00:39:55,430 Who would like to see a photograph of what your daughter did to one? 702 00:39:55,470 --> 00:39:57,430 -There she is. -(AUDIENCE GASPS) 703 00:39:57,470 --> 00:39:59,830 -That's your little girl? -It's known as the Cupcake. 704 00:39:59,870 --> 00:40:01,950 (LAUGHTER) 705 00:40:01,990 --> 00:40:05,510 The gloves and the helmet and the... look go great in the pink Cupcake. 706 00:40:05,550 --> 00:40:06,870 She's trying to steer it still. 707 00:40:06,910 --> 00:40:08,630 NICK: On the side, it all looks... 708 00:40:08,670 --> 00:40:10,830 She hasn't given up, that's what I really... 709 00:40:10,870 --> 00:40:12,910 -"I can get this back." -(LAUGHTER) 710 00:40:12,950 --> 00:40:15,190 Right, come on, then, Stewart, let's get to your cars. 711 00:40:15,230 --> 00:40:18,470 It starts with a... It's not quite as impressive as Nick's, is it? 712 00:40:18,510 --> 00:40:20,470 -A Morris Traveller. -There you go. 713 00:40:20,510 --> 00:40:22,670 I got it for 40 quid from a gypsy, 714 00:40:22,710 --> 00:40:25,070 and I spent most of the time under it. 715 00:40:25,110 --> 00:40:27,110 -That was when you were in the UK? -Yeah. 716 00:40:27,150 --> 00:40:30,430 -And I had a Millman Minx for a very short amount of time? -A Minx? 717 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:33,230 -A Hill... A Millman Hinx. -(LAUGHTER) 718 00:40:33,270 --> 00:40:35,070 It met its end in Hammersmith. 719 00:40:35,110 --> 00:40:36,390 No! How? 720 00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:38,110 Well, I was pulling around Hammersmith, 721 00:40:38,150 --> 00:40:41,310 and an articulated lorry came in front of me, 722 00:40:41,350 --> 00:40:43,870 and uh...so I slowed down, 723 00:40:43,910 --> 00:40:49,270 and the back of a truck ran over and squashed my Hillman Minx like a bug. 724 00:40:49,310 --> 00:40:51,190 On... Right there in Hammersmith. 725 00:40:51,230 --> 00:40:54,430 And as I'm looking at the smouldering remains of my car, 726 00:40:54,470 --> 00:40:57,270 a cop comes up and gave me a ticket for bald tyres. 727 00:41:00,310 --> 00:41:04,070 That's cruel. Anyway, look, we've got to get on to your laps. 728 00:41:04,110 --> 00:41:06,790 Er... Now, whose lap shall we see first? Let me think. 729 00:41:06,830 --> 00:41:09,070 I think we should start with... 730 00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:11,430 Well, let's be honest, let's start with the older gentleman, 731 00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:13,270 the elder statesman, the pro. 732 00:41:13,310 --> 00:41:16,070 -OK, who would like to see Nick's lap? -(CHEERING) 733 00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:17,830 Come on, then. Let's have a look. 734 00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:23,230 STEWART: That's how you do it. 735 00:41:23,270 --> 00:41:25,150 OK, launch control. 736 00:41:25,190 --> 00:41:29,870 JEREMY: And... Oh, look at that for a tidy line. 737 00:41:29,910 --> 00:41:32,990 This is a man who's done racing before. 738 00:41:33,030 --> 00:41:35,910 Holding it nicely there. 739 00:41:35,950 --> 00:41:38,830 -And onto the gravel. STEWART: Very nice. Very nice. Look at that. 740 00:41:38,870 --> 00:41:41,110 JEREMY: No brake lights. 741 00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:43,830 Oh, but there should have been, perhaps, because that's quite wide. 742 00:41:43,870 --> 00:41:48,510 And there we are. So, quick at the beginning, slow now - typical drummer. 743 00:41:48,550 --> 00:41:51,670 (BLEEP) drift! 744 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,470 JEREMY: Oh, look at... That's nicely done, Nick. STEWART: Nice, nice. 745 00:41:55,950 --> 00:41:57,950 JEREMY: And into Difficult Bit Two. 746 00:41:57,990 --> 00:42:02,070 -You're just kissing those lines so neatly. -That bodes well. 747 00:42:02,110 --> 00:42:05,030 JEREMY: No, it does. You know, it doesn't look particularly fast, 748 00:42:05,070 --> 00:42:08,830 but I can just see... Let's have a look. That's really skinny, that bit. 749 00:42:08,870 --> 00:42:11,150 STEWART: The gravel's insane. 750 00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:13,190 JEREMY: Yeah, but it's when you get back on the tarmac, you think... 751 00:42:13,230 --> 00:42:16,750 Oh, that was wide! Right, now into the fast bit. 752 00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:20,430 -Whoa! Scary! -(LAUGHTER) 753 00:42:20,470 --> 00:42:23,270 JEREMY: Yeah, it is that fast. It is quite scary through here. 754 00:42:24,670 --> 00:42:26,630 That is tidily done. Did you lift? 755 00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:29,150 (TYRES SQUEAL) 756 00:42:29,190 --> 00:42:31,670 STEWART: Wahoo! 757 00:42:31,710 --> 00:42:34,430 JEREMY: And there we are, he is across the line. So that's good - you're there. 758 00:42:34,470 --> 00:42:36,390 Did you lift off on the fast bit? 759 00:42:36,430 --> 00:42:38,430 By the end of it I did it flat. 760 00:42:38,470 --> 00:42:40,630 You did it flat? 761 00:42:40,670 --> 00:42:43,750 OK, then. Who would like to see Stewart's lap? 762 00:42:43,790 --> 00:42:46,230 -(CHEERING) -Let's have a look at Stewart's lap. 763 00:42:49,870 --> 00:42:51,070 JEREMY: Yeah, tidy start. 764 00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:55,030 -Hallelujah! Geronimo! -(LAUGHTER) 765 00:42:55,070 --> 00:42:57,710 JEREMY: Are we as tidy as Nick? No, we're just cheating. 766 00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:00,710 STEWART: Off the course. JEREMY: No, that was nice. I like to slow it... 767 00:43:00,750 --> 00:43:04,030 Yes, that's good. Keep it on the right, ready for the left, 768 00:43:04,070 --> 00:43:07,710 and onto the difficult bit, when it starts to just snake around on you. 769 00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:11,630 STEWART: This is insane. This gravel is just completely insane. 770 00:43:11,670 --> 00:43:14,270 JEREMY: No, I can tell you're really enjoying the gravel. 771 00:43:14,310 --> 00:43:17,270 -I hate the dirt! The dirt sucks! -(LAUGHTER) 772 00:43:17,310 --> 00:43:21,230 JEREMY: No, I may have got that wrong. But this bit... Yes, nicely done. 773 00:43:21,270 --> 00:43:24,070 You're a lot more violent, I'd say, than Nick here. 774 00:43:24,110 --> 00:43:27,150 A lot more... Yeah, look at that - kicking the tail out. 775 00:43:27,190 --> 00:43:29,190 -Some upthrust there. -Kicking the tail out again. 776 00:43:29,230 --> 00:43:31,150 JEREMY: Soon you'll be back on the tarmac. 777 00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:34,790 STEWART: A bit of a weave there, it must be said. 778 00:43:34,830 --> 00:43:37,470 JEREMY: I approve of the... STEWART: It's looking really dramatic. 779 00:43:37,510 --> 00:43:41,670 JEREMY: It is dramatic. It's a lot more dramatic-looking than Nick's lap, but... 780 00:43:41,710 --> 00:43:44,110 -Let's go! -(LAUGHTER) 781 00:43:44,150 --> 00:43:46,710 JEREMY: This is a man on a mission. Oh, Christ! 782 00:43:46,750 --> 00:43:50,270 That is quick through there, I'm gonna be honest, and nicely held. 783 00:43:50,310 --> 00:43:52,950 STEWART: Stay on course here. OK, this is the big turn. 784 00:43:52,990 --> 00:43:56,430 JEREMY: And you've made it. He's made it back, all the way across the line! 785 00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:58,390 (CHEERING) 786 00:44:03,510 --> 00:44:05,510 Who shall we do first? 787 00:44:05,550 --> 00:44:09,750 I think we're gonna go with Steady Eddie here, Nick Mason. 788 00:44:09,790 --> 00:44:12,190 -One twenty-one three. -(GROANS) Oh. 789 00:44:12,230 --> 00:44:15,190 Well, you're pulling a face but you don't know what anyone else did. 790 00:44:15,230 --> 00:44:17,470 There you are at 1:21.3. 791 00:44:17,510 --> 00:44:20,830 Just to give you an idea, that puts you at exactly the same time as Luke Evans, 792 00:44:20,870 --> 00:44:22,510 who's in The Fast And The Furious. 793 00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:24,310 Quicker than Hugh Bonneville, quicker than Michael Ball, 794 00:44:24,350 --> 00:44:26,430 quicker than David Hasselhoff. 795 00:44:26,470 --> 00:44:29,150 -Whoa! That's some shit. -Stewart Copeland. 796 00:44:29,190 --> 00:44:30,950 (LAUGHTER) 797 00:44:30,990 --> 00:44:33,270 -You looked faster. -Felt faster. 798 00:44:33,310 --> 00:44:35,230 Felt faster. 799 00:44:35,270 --> 00:44:38,310 But you did it in 1:24.2 800 00:44:38,350 --> 00:44:40,270 -(APPLAUSE) -So... 801 00:44:43,710 --> 00:44:46,910 Hey... I made it around the course. 802 00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:49,230 -You made it around the course... -Mostly. 803 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:52,590 -..but I don't think we've had anyone slower. -(LAUGHTER) 804 00:44:52,630 --> 00:44:57,550 -No, I'm lying. Bill Bailey, a well-known comedian here-- -Yes, Bill! You my bitch! 805 00:44:57,590 --> 00:44:59,630 (LAUGHTER) 806 00:44:59,670 --> 00:45:01,830 -Bill Bailey and Alfie Boe, they're both slower. -Two bitches! 807 00:45:01,870 --> 00:45:04,350 You've got two British bitches. 808 00:45:04,390 --> 00:45:07,830 So, there we are, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much, Stewart Copeland, 809 00:45:07,870 --> 00:45:12,350 and the fastest drummer from a band beginning with "P", Nick Mason! 810 00:45:12,390 --> 00:45:14,710 (CHEERING) 811 00:45:22,310 --> 00:45:27,110 Now, tonight Hammond and Clarkson are driving around France in some rubbish, 812 00:45:27,150 --> 00:45:30,150 and I've turned up in a modern Honda Civic Type R 813 00:45:30,190 --> 00:45:33,390 to prove that modern cars are more reliable, more comfortable, 814 00:45:33,430 --> 00:45:35,870 and, in fact, better in every single way. 815 00:45:35,910 --> 00:45:40,430 Yeah, whatever. When we left the action, I was standing outside our overnight hotel, 816 00:45:40,470 --> 00:45:44,030 trying to work out how to secure a £1 million Jaguar 817 00:45:44,070 --> 00:45:46,990 that has no roof or door locks. 818 00:45:47,030 --> 00:45:50,310 It was a problem. We pick up the action the following morning. 819 00:45:52,470 --> 00:45:54,390 (COCKEREL CROWING) 820 00:46:03,070 --> 00:46:06,190 JAMES (HUMMING): Morning. -Morning. 821 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:08,270 -Sleep well? -No. 822 00:46:08,310 --> 00:46:09,910 (ALARM CHIRPS) 823 00:46:13,150 --> 00:46:15,910 (HONDA ENGINE STARTS) 824 00:46:15,950 --> 00:46:19,150 -Did you do that? -Yeah, I got bored. 825 00:46:19,190 --> 00:46:20,990 JEREMY: I'm amazed he didn't notice. 826 00:46:21,030 --> 00:46:23,270 RICHARD: It could have something to do with the fact 827 00:46:23,310 --> 00:46:26,790 that nobody ever looks at their number plate before they drive off. 828 00:46:26,830 --> 00:46:28,230 (LAUGHS) 829 00:46:28,270 --> 00:46:30,990 -Good point. -(GRUNTS) 830 00:46:34,350 --> 00:46:36,910 JAMES: Soon, they had got their stupid cars going 831 00:46:36,950 --> 00:46:41,830 and we were on our way to the mountains. 832 00:46:41,870 --> 00:46:44,510 While I was asleep in my luxurious hotel bed last night, 833 00:46:44,550 --> 00:46:46,430 I came up with a bit of a plan. 834 00:46:48,270 --> 00:46:50,230 We'd head over the Pyrenees, 835 00:46:50,270 --> 00:46:53,470 into Spain and down to Barcelona, 836 00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:57,510 to try our cars on a very special track that I'd heard about. 837 00:46:59,070 --> 00:47:01,430 On the way I'd prove my car was better, 838 00:47:01,470 --> 00:47:04,990 and at the circuit I'd prove that even with me at the helm, 839 00:47:05,030 --> 00:47:08,430 it's faster as well. 840 00:47:08,470 --> 00:47:11,710 Here's what you need to know about old cars - 841 00:47:11,750 --> 00:47:16,950 they are great to look at, but you don't want to drive one 842 00:47:16,990 --> 00:47:21,150 any more than you want to use an old twin-tub washing machine. 843 00:47:21,190 --> 00:47:23,750 They're just crap. 844 00:47:23,790 --> 00:47:26,670 JEREMY: I honestly don't know what James May's on about. 845 00:47:26,710 --> 00:47:29,030 "I don't like old stuff." He loves it! 846 00:47:29,070 --> 00:47:33,950 He can't get enough of it! He owns a 1977 Ferrari. 847 00:47:33,990 --> 00:47:38,350 He has a collection of ancient Honda motorcycles. 848 00:47:38,390 --> 00:47:43,830 Does he spend his spare time fixing computers or going to raves? No. 849 00:47:43,870 --> 00:47:46,510 He spends it eating old-fashioned pies 850 00:47:46,550 --> 00:47:49,670 and helping his friends rebuild a steam engine. 851 00:47:49,710 --> 00:47:52,990 I know some of you think I'm being deliberately obtuse 852 00:47:53,030 --> 00:47:54,590 driving this Honda, but I'm not. 853 00:47:54,630 --> 00:47:57,510 I promise you, I do genuinely like it. 854 00:48:01,350 --> 00:48:06,230 Not only does it hold the lap record for front-wheel drive cars around the Nurburgring - 855 00:48:06,270 --> 00:48:08,870 seven seconds faster than the old one - 856 00:48:08,910 --> 00:48:11,310 it's done that while becoming more refined. 857 00:48:11,350 --> 00:48:14,110 The engine's smoother, the ride's more subtle. 858 00:48:14,150 --> 00:48:18,710 It's just a bit better all-round. It's tremendous. 859 00:48:18,750 --> 00:48:24,790 It's also very easy to drive, which old cars are not. 860 00:48:24,830 --> 00:48:26,030 (REVVING) 861 00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:27,550 (GEARS CRUNCH) 862 00:48:27,590 --> 00:48:30,270 (REVVING AND CRUNCHING) 863 00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:32,190 (GEAR ENGAGES) 864 00:48:32,230 --> 00:48:34,430 It's in. 865 00:48:34,470 --> 00:48:37,990 JEREMY: Annoyingly, at slow speeds, James had a point. 866 00:48:38,030 --> 00:48:41,670 The Aston was a tricky little sod. 867 00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:46,430 -(WHINING) -That gearbox whine, it's quite pronounced. 868 00:48:48,790 --> 00:48:51,750 And then there was the change action. 869 00:48:51,790 --> 00:48:52,990 (REVVING) 870 00:48:53,030 --> 00:48:54,430 (GEARS CRUNCHING) 871 00:48:54,470 --> 00:48:57,790 (REVVING AND CRUNCHING) 872 00:48:57,830 --> 00:49:04,350 On balance, I think I prefer a double-clutch system... with paddles. 873 00:49:04,390 --> 00:49:08,190 I'm just trying to do up my shirtsleeves, because it's quite chilly 874 00:49:08,230 --> 00:49:10,030 and that will make a difference. 875 00:49:11,790 --> 00:49:13,590 Definitely getting colder. 876 00:49:13,630 --> 00:49:19,750 Fortunately, the 3.4L straight-six generates so much heat, 877 00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:24,070 and there is so little shielding, that whilst my top half is cold, 878 00:49:24,110 --> 00:49:26,310 my bottom half is toasty warm. 879 00:49:27,390 --> 00:49:29,870 Window doesn't wind down, 880 00:49:29,910 --> 00:49:33,110 no vents, no air conditioning. 881 00:49:33,150 --> 00:49:36,510 No air in here at all, in fact. Just heat. 882 00:49:38,030 --> 00:49:40,190 What I'm being is casseroled. 883 00:49:42,150 --> 00:49:44,430 JEREMY: And soon things got worse... 884 00:49:45,590 --> 00:49:47,750 I'm trying not to shiver. 885 00:49:47,790 --> 00:49:50,350 JEREMY: ..because a thick fog descended. 886 00:49:52,150 --> 00:49:55,150 This meant we had to slow down even more. 887 00:49:55,190 --> 00:49:57,230 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 888 00:49:57,270 --> 00:50:00,710 And that made the Aston even worse. 889 00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:03,110 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 890 00:50:03,150 --> 00:50:05,550 (REVVING AND RATTLING) 891 00:50:05,590 --> 00:50:07,190 (REVVING) 892 00:50:07,230 --> 00:50:08,470 (RATTLING) 893 00:50:09,550 --> 00:50:11,990 (CRUNCHING) 894 00:50:12,030 --> 00:50:15,550 This is very authentically '50s. I'm enjoying it. 895 00:50:15,590 --> 00:50:19,190 JEREMY (RADIO): It's sometimes quite difficult to get it into gear. 896 00:50:19,230 --> 00:50:22,070 JAMES (RADIO): I'm just going to try that in my car. Hold on. 897 00:50:22,110 --> 00:50:24,950 Let's have second gear. Hm. 898 00:50:24,990 --> 00:50:27,150 I can even knock it down to first here. 899 00:50:27,190 --> 00:50:28,590 (REVVING) 900 00:50:28,630 --> 00:50:31,030 Second. No, it works. 901 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,550 No, mine's a piece of cake. 902 00:50:33,590 --> 00:50:37,190 But there's no sense of satisfaction, is there, when you do it right? 903 00:50:37,230 --> 00:50:40,150 Yeah, there is. 904 00:50:40,190 --> 00:50:44,710 JEREMY: After a little while, the fog went from thick to impenetrable. 905 00:50:47,150 --> 00:50:51,030 RICHARD: I can see pretty much nothing now. 906 00:50:51,070 --> 00:50:53,110 The lights don't help and the windscreen wipers 907 00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:56,670 just move the water around on the windscreen. 908 00:50:58,190 --> 00:51:00,630 Literally can't see a thing now. 909 00:51:00,670 --> 00:51:04,830 Fog, rain, noise. 910 00:51:04,870 --> 00:51:06,230 A lot of noise. 911 00:51:08,390 --> 00:51:09,910 RICHARD: Yeah, I'm quite cold now. 912 00:51:12,710 --> 00:51:17,430 However, the impending hypothermia was not my main worry. 913 00:51:17,470 --> 00:51:19,550 -Oh, my God. -(ENGINE SPUTTERING) 914 00:51:19,590 --> 00:51:22,750 It's not sounding... Yeah, it's not good. 915 00:51:22,790 --> 00:51:26,590 I'm having to slip the clutch to sort of keep it moving at all. 916 00:51:28,510 --> 00:51:31,030 Yeah, I think I'm down to three cylinders now. 917 00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:37,670 And then I had a good old 1950s breakdown. 918 00:51:37,710 --> 00:51:39,190 (ENGINE CHUGGING) 919 00:51:39,230 --> 00:51:40,750 (FAILS TO START) 920 00:51:40,790 --> 00:51:42,790 What's the matter with it? 921 00:51:42,830 --> 00:51:46,830 I think it's the spark plugs are all fouled up and gummed up. 922 00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:48,910 -(GRUNTS) -Well, don't tell James. 923 00:51:48,950 --> 00:51:51,790 No. Well, where is he? 924 00:51:51,830 --> 00:51:54,910 I don't even know where my car is and I only parked it over there. 925 00:51:54,950 --> 00:51:56,590 I can't see a damn thing. 926 00:51:56,630 --> 00:51:58,670 No. Well, at least he won't have seen me doing this. 927 00:51:58,710 --> 00:52:01,990 -He could drive by. -Well... I'll... 928 00:52:02,030 --> 00:52:03,790 You go ahead. 929 00:52:03,830 --> 00:52:06,310 Look, tell him I'm behind him, or I'm ahead somewhere. 930 00:52:06,350 --> 00:52:08,750 -I could be 100 yards away. -I'll get back on the road. 931 00:52:08,790 --> 00:52:11,190 -You get on the road. I'll fix this. -He'll never know. 932 00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:13,470 Exactly. Tell him I'm having a lovely time and-- 933 00:52:13,510 --> 00:52:16,590 -It's starting to rain, though, Hammond. -Yes, I know! 934 00:52:16,630 --> 00:52:18,350 -Have you got a jacket? -No! 935 00:52:18,390 --> 00:52:21,230 (WIND WHISTLING) 936 00:52:21,270 --> 00:52:24,550 JEREMY: Where's my bloody car? Has anyone... 937 00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:27,270 Can anyone see an Aston Martin anywhere? 938 00:52:29,110 --> 00:52:30,470 Hello? 939 00:52:31,590 --> 00:52:33,870 Hammond? 940 00:52:33,910 --> 00:52:38,110 I've found a car here. It's... Oh, it's... It's a Toyota. 941 00:52:39,350 --> 00:52:41,070 And th-they're dogging. 942 00:52:42,990 --> 00:52:45,470 They really are, actually. That's quite embarrassing. 943 00:52:45,510 --> 00:52:49,350 (LAUGHTER) 944 00:52:49,390 --> 00:52:52,630 Yeah, they're driving away now because they realise. 945 00:52:55,510 --> 00:52:57,110 Hello. Sorry about... 946 00:52:57,150 --> 00:52:59,070 (LAUGHTER) 947 00:53:07,190 --> 00:53:08,590 (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 948 00:53:08,630 --> 00:53:10,310 Nothing to see here. 949 00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:12,630 (ENGINE CHUGGING) 950 00:53:12,670 --> 00:53:15,710 Leaving Hammond to his repairs on Dogger Bank, 951 00:53:15,750 --> 00:53:20,350 I made some changes in my car and set off to find James. 952 00:53:23,150 --> 00:53:24,590 Oh, yes! 953 00:53:25,670 --> 00:53:29,270 I have improved my Aston Martin. 954 00:53:29,310 --> 00:53:32,870 All of a sudden, my car makes sense - 955 00:53:32,910 --> 00:53:35,710 I can't hear it. 956 00:53:35,750 --> 00:53:41,150 And then I came across ASBO Man, who was immediately suspicious. 957 00:53:41,190 --> 00:53:42,590 JAMES (RADIO): Where's Hammond? 958 00:53:42,630 --> 00:53:45,190 JEREMY: Yeah, he's in front of me. 959 00:53:45,230 --> 00:53:47,790 I'm driving right behind. I can see him, plain as day. 960 00:53:50,590 --> 00:53:53,190 JAMES: The fog is lifting and I can't help noticing that Richard Hammond, 961 00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,030 who is supposedly in front of you, 962 00:53:55,070 --> 00:53:58,150 is driving a Land Rover Discovery filming car. 963 00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:01,630 No, no. He er... He overtook it. 964 00:54:01,670 --> 00:54:05,630 Er... He roared off. Unbelievable speed. I couldn't keep up. 965 00:54:05,670 --> 00:54:07,910 -His car's broken, hasn't it? -No. 966 00:54:07,950 --> 00:54:10,230 (SQUEAKING) 967 00:54:10,270 --> 00:54:12,230 JAMES (RADIO): Are your brakes squeaking? 968 00:54:12,270 --> 00:54:14,590 JEREMY (RADIO): No, they're birds. It's birdsong. 969 00:54:14,630 --> 00:54:18,430 Right, James, look out. There are cows, followed by Hitler. 970 00:54:18,470 --> 00:54:21,230 (COWBELLS CLANGING) 971 00:54:21,270 --> 00:54:23,310 Oh, no, it's not Hitler, it's Winston Churchill. 972 00:54:25,070 --> 00:54:26,590 (COW LOWING) 973 00:54:29,270 --> 00:54:31,990 JEREMY (RADIO): A cow has attacked the Aston Martin! 974 00:54:33,070 --> 00:54:35,230 (COW LOWING) 975 00:54:35,270 --> 00:54:39,510 Don't do that! Go and attack the Honda. 976 00:54:39,550 --> 00:54:44,950 RICHARD: Meanwhile, I'd got my car going again, and was starting to regret it. 977 00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:48,670 Yeah, this is quite hard work now. I'll be honest, I'm getting pretty tired. 978 00:54:48,710 --> 00:54:52,150 My... My left leg is agony. 979 00:54:52,190 --> 00:54:53,270 Gear change. 980 00:54:53,310 --> 00:54:55,630 (GRUNTS) 981 00:54:55,670 --> 00:54:56,990 My knee hurts. 982 00:54:58,390 --> 00:55:01,470 So do my ears, actually. I'm also quite cold. 983 00:55:03,910 --> 00:55:06,870 JEREMY: The truth is that in the fog, at slow speeds, 984 00:55:06,910 --> 00:55:08,950 on James's ridiculous route, 985 00:55:08,990 --> 00:55:12,230 which was full of wartime leaders and attack cows, 986 00:55:12,270 --> 00:55:15,950 the older cars here had been hard work. 987 00:55:15,990 --> 00:55:17,790 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 988 00:55:17,830 --> 00:55:21,990 But as we crested the Pyrenees, the fog lifted. 989 00:55:27,270 --> 00:55:31,750 This meant I could drive the Aston at the only speed it understands. 990 00:55:33,550 --> 00:55:34,910 Flat out. 991 00:55:34,950 --> 00:55:36,550 (ENGINE THRUMMING) 992 00:55:40,550 --> 00:55:43,870 Providing, of course, I could get past James May. 993 00:55:48,550 --> 00:55:50,470 -I'm going into R mode. -(BEEP) 994 00:55:50,510 --> 00:55:53,670 The lights on the instruments have gone red. 995 00:55:53,710 --> 00:55:55,670 (AS BOND VILLAIN) Goodbye, Mr Clarkson. 996 00:56:00,550 --> 00:56:01,750 He's going down! 997 00:56:04,190 --> 00:56:07,510 Oh, he's going down so badly! 998 00:56:07,550 --> 00:56:10,790 I'm all over the back of him now. 999 00:56:10,830 --> 00:56:13,950 I have more power and less weight. 1000 00:56:17,390 --> 00:56:19,750 He can come snouting around with his massive engine, 1001 00:56:19,790 --> 00:56:22,670 but as soon as we get to the curves I'll pull away. 1002 00:56:24,150 --> 00:56:25,510 Coming through. 1003 00:56:28,190 --> 00:56:29,710 JEREMY: Ha-ha! 1004 00:56:33,310 --> 00:56:38,670 I was back in front, and more importantly... back in love with my Aston. 1005 00:56:40,550 --> 00:56:42,670 What a car this is. 1006 00:56:42,710 --> 00:56:45,910 Oh! You have to drive it. 1007 00:56:45,950 --> 00:56:48,910 Every gear change has to be... worked out. 1008 00:56:48,950 --> 00:56:54,190 Every steering movement thought through. 1009 00:56:54,230 --> 00:56:58,030 And you can never get to the corner and think, "I won't bother heel-and-toeing here." 1010 00:56:58,070 --> 00:57:01,030 You have to, or it won't go into gear. 1011 00:57:05,750 --> 00:57:10,190 JAMES: As we entered Spain, we were back as a three. 1012 00:57:10,230 --> 00:57:16,190 And soon we reached Barcelona - a city known for many things: 1013 00:57:16,230 --> 00:57:19,510 its cathedral, its cafés, 1014 00:57:19,550 --> 00:57:21,670 and its interesting architecture. 1015 00:57:21,710 --> 00:57:26,150 But, actually, the most impressive thing here is this. 1016 00:57:30,390 --> 00:57:32,470 It's called the Terramar, 1017 00:57:32,510 --> 00:57:36,030 and it's the oldest surviving banked track in Europe. 1018 00:57:37,710 --> 00:57:41,670 It opened in 1923, staged one big race, 1019 00:57:41,710 --> 00:57:45,910 and due to some unpaid bills, closed a day later. 1020 00:57:45,950 --> 00:57:49,750 For the last 50 years it's been a chicken farm. 1021 00:57:53,510 --> 00:57:59,470 OK, congratulations, James. This is the steepest banked circuit I've ever, ever seen. 1022 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:01,790 And I'm not even at the steep bit of it yet. 1023 00:58:01,830 --> 00:58:04,750 -Seventy-eight degrees at the top, apparently. -(CRIES OUT) 1024 00:58:04,790 --> 00:58:07,030 What's your plan, May? 1025 00:58:07,070 --> 00:58:10,590 Well, what I thought we'd do is put a speed trap at the end of this curve, 1026 00:58:10,630 --> 00:58:13,350 where it goes level again, and whoever achieves the highest speed 1027 00:58:13,390 --> 00:58:15,150 through this banking is the winner. 1028 00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:18,310 Right. Erm... Can we have a bit of practice first? 1029 00:58:18,350 --> 00:58:21,190 Could I make a couple of modifications to my Aston? 1030 00:58:21,230 --> 00:58:23,190 Not if it's swapping it for a DB11. 1031 00:58:23,230 --> 00:58:25,030 (LAUGHTER) 1032 00:58:25,070 --> 00:58:27,310 I can't... I literally can't get any higher than this. 1033 00:58:27,350 --> 00:58:30,430 Have we got to drive up there? We do, don't we, to go fastest? 1034 00:58:30,470 --> 00:58:32,390 JAMES: If you go off the edge... JEREMY: Yeah? 1035 00:58:32,430 --> 00:58:34,430 ...it's oblivion. 1036 00:58:34,470 --> 00:58:37,030 -No, because the tree will stop us, won't it? RICHARD: No. 1037 00:58:39,390 --> 00:58:41,470 JEREMY: Before we embarked on our practice laps, 1038 00:58:41,510 --> 00:58:44,670 I set about my important modifications. 1039 00:58:44,710 --> 00:58:46,630 (DRILLING) 1040 00:58:46,670 --> 00:58:48,510 What are you doing? 1041 00:58:48,550 --> 00:58:51,110 I'm giving my car air conditioning. 1042 00:58:51,150 --> 00:58:54,190 You're drilling holes in a one-and-a-half-million-pound car? 1043 00:58:57,630 --> 00:58:59,470 I couldn't do that. 1044 00:58:59,510 --> 00:59:01,670 That's the difference between you and me - I'm practical. 1045 00:59:01,710 --> 00:59:03,910 -No, that's vandalism. -It's not vandalism! 1046 00:59:03,950 --> 00:59:05,870 It's got a hole in it! 1047 00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:08,750 But now I'll be able to breathe and see where I'm going, 1048 00:59:08,790 --> 00:59:11,790 which is important when the track is at that angle. 1049 00:59:11,830 --> 00:59:13,750 That's like saying, "Westminster Abbey's in the way. 1050 00:59:13,790 --> 00:59:16,430 I'll knock it down so I get a better view." It's still vandalism. 1051 00:59:16,470 --> 00:59:19,710 You don't like old things, so why wouldn't you knock Westminster Abbey down? 1052 00:59:19,750 --> 00:59:24,150 -I like Westminster Abbey. -Ha! Hoist by his own petard. Another one here. 1053 00:59:27,430 --> 00:59:30,870 JEREMY: With the air con sorted, it was time to start practising, 1054 00:59:30,910 --> 00:59:36,190 on what, over the years, has become a bumpy, potholed deathtrap. 1055 00:59:36,230 --> 00:59:38,070 (ENGINE REVVING) 1056 00:59:40,630 --> 00:59:43,510 Sixty miles an hour as I approach... 1057 00:59:43,550 --> 00:59:46,030 Whoa! Big pothole there. 1058 00:59:46,070 --> 00:59:47,630 ..the first corner. 1059 00:59:47,670 --> 00:59:49,350 (CLUNKING) 1060 00:59:49,390 --> 00:59:52,150 Already, I can tell it's very bumpy. 1061 00:59:54,070 --> 00:59:56,230 Whoa! Steering's gone very weird! 1062 01:00:02,030 --> 01:00:05,390 Christ! It's alarming. 1063 01:00:05,430 --> 01:00:09,270 It's bloody ridiculous! To look where you're going, you have to look up. 1064 01:00:09,310 --> 01:00:11,630 That doesn't happen in cars. It's wrong! 1065 01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:17,870 JEREMY: Coming up to the second banked turn. 1066 01:00:21,870 --> 01:00:23,670 -(CLUNKING) -Christ! 1067 01:00:25,230 --> 01:00:27,630 The bumps are so unnerving! 1068 01:00:28,950 --> 01:00:30,430 Jesus! 1069 01:00:30,470 --> 01:00:33,230 Apparently, some of them are so violent 1070 01:00:33,270 --> 01:00:37,870 they can make the car jump... four feet to the right. 1071 01:00:39,990 --> 01:00:45,510 The forces being exerted on the outside tyres are unbelievable. 1072 01:00:45,550 --> 01:00:47,710 We are talking planetary energy. 1073 01:00:50,350 --> 01:00:55,070 Aware of this, Hammond was starting to make squeaky noises. 1074 01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,190 (WHIMPERS) 1075 01:00:57,230 --> 01:00:58,830 (GROANS) 1076 01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:04,670 Who said I want to go up there? Why would I go up there? 1077 01:01:07,110 --> 01:01:10,110 I'm gonna try and lift it up the banking on this one. Here we go. 1078 01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,550 (CLUNKING) 1079 01:01:15,590 --> 01:01:17,470 Oh, shit! That was a big bump! 1080 01:01:19,150 --> 01:01:20,670 (BLEEPING) 1081 01:01:22,430 --> 01:01:23,830 God Al-bloody-mighty! 1082 01:01:25,270 --> 01:01:26,830 -(CLUNKING) -(CRIES OUT) 1083 01:01:26,870 --> 01:01:30,510 Jesus Christ! That's terrible! 1084 01:01:30,550 --> 01:01:33,790 JEREMY: Finally, the practice laps were over. 1085 01:01:33,830 --> 01:01:38,070 Oh, Christ! This... is (BLEEP) scary. 1086 01:01:38,110 --> 01:01:42,270 The problem with going around a banked turn is there's nothing you can do. 1087 01:01:42,310 --> 01:01:44,230 You can't slow down, you can't speed up. 1088 01:01:44,270 --> 01:01:47,190 If anything goes wrong, you're a passenger. 1089 01:01:48,670 --> 01:01:51,590 And because he was aware of that, too, 1090 01:01:51,630 --> 01:01:54,870 Squeaky Boy decided he didn't want to play any more. 1091 01:01:54,910 --> 01:02:01,190 Yeah, well, my practice laps have told me one thing - I don't want to do it. 1092 01:02:01,230 --> 01:02:05,750 I've just gone right off huge motoring accidents at the moment. Right off them. 1093 01:02:07,750 --> 01:02:10,350 JEREMY: Having decided he didn't want to buy the farm, 1094 01:02:10,390 --> 01:02:13,870 he went off to buy a farmhouse instead. 1095 01:02:13,910 --> 01:02:16,190 So it became a two-car shoot-out, 1096 01:02:16,230 --> 01:02:18,670 and ASBO Man was the first to go. 1097 01:02:25,190 --> 01:02:26,790 Concentrate, May. Concentrate. 1098 01:02:27,950 --> 01:02:29,230 Give it some beanage. 1099 01:02:33,470 --> 01:02:35,510 (CLUNKING) 1100 01:02:39,990 --> 01:02:41,870 Shit! That's terrifying! 1101 01:02:56,790 --> 01:03:01,350 -(CLUNKING) -Bumpy! Bumpy! 1102 01:03:01,390 --> 01:03:02,950 It's made the windscreen wipers come on! 1103 01:03:17,470 --> 01:03:22,070 Jeez! That is not a pleasant sensation, I promise you. 1104 01:03:22,110 --> 01:03:23,590 (REVVING) 1105 01:03:30,990 --> 01:03:32,870 JEREMY: Right, this is it! 1106 01:03:32,910 --> 01:03:35,190 Let's see how fast I can make this thing go. 1107 01:03:42,950 --> 01:03:44,310 (CLUNKING) 1108 01:04:06,110 --> 01:04:08,630 Oh, my giddy aunt! That is... Jesus Christ! 1109 01:04:14,590 --> 01:04:16,990 (CLUNKING) 1110 01:04:17,030 --> 01:04:18,790 That's bumpy shit! (BLEEP) 1111 01:04:21,150 --> 01:04:23,910 Oh, (BLEEP) me! (GROANS) 1112 01:04:36,110 --> 01:04:38,870 That's one of the scariest things I've ever done in a car. 1113 01:04:40,830 --> 01:04:41,950 Ever. 1114 01:04:44,030 --> 01:04:45,830 -(CHEERING) JAMES: It was. 1115 01:04:45,870 --> 01:04:49,590 Well done. Well done. Well done. 1116 01:04:49,630 --> 01:04:52,870 I've got to say erm... 1117 01:04:52,910 --> 01:04:56,230 ..we weren't joking there - he really did go and buy a farmhouse 1118 01:04:56,270 --> 01:04:57,870 in south-west France. 1119 01:04:57,910 --> 01:04:59,990 And actually, James and I wish we'd gone with him, 1120 01:05:00,030 --> 01:05:03,150 because that was hideously terrifying. 1121 01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:04,910 -It's awful. -It really was. 1122 01:05:04,950 --> 01:05:08,190 Anyway, I have the numbers from the speed trap here, 1123 01:05:08,230 --> 01:05:13,350 and, Jeremy Clarkson, you passed it at 89mph. 1124 01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:16,830 -Well done. -That is brave. That is brave. 1125 01:05:16,870 --> 01:05:18,990 -Was it really 89? -Yes. Well done. 1126 01:05:21,590 --> 01:05:25,870 -And then, James May, you passed it at... -Thirty-two. 1127 01:05:25,910 --> 01:05:27,790 ...93mph! 1128 01:05:27,830 --> 01:05:29,870 -(CHEERING) -Oh! 1129 01:05:29,910 --> 01:05:32,710 James May has won a thing! 1130 01:05:32,750 --> 01:05:35,030 -I'm staggered! He has! -He's won a thing! 1131 01:05:37,670 --> 01:05:41,230 And what you've proved is, by being so speedy, 1132 01:05:41,270 --> 01:05:45,990 that modern cars are 4mph faster than they were 60 years ago. 1133 01:05:46,030 --> 01:05:47,910 -Yeah. -(LAUGHTER) 1134 01:05:47,950 --> 01:05:50,510 The thing is, though, you can't actually drive your cars on the road. 1135 01:05:50,550 --> 01:05:53,790 Well, no, the Aston, I have to admit, at slow speed, is very difficult. 1136 01:05:53,830 --> 01:05:56,750 If you try and tickle it into gear, it just won't have it. 1137 01:05:56,790 --> 01:05:59,350 The only language it understands is violence. 1138 01:05:59,390 --> 01:06:01,030 You ram it in, and then you're fine. 1139 01:06:01,070 --> 01:06:03,190 That's not what I was talking about. 1140 01:06:03,230 --> 01:06:05,950 You're not actually allowed to drive your cars on the road, are you? 1141 01:06:05,990 --> 01:06:10,350 I did, because Aston registered that one as a prototype, so I could. 1142 01:06:10,390 --> 01:06:12,870 Yeah, it was a bit more complicated in the Jag, 1143 01:06:12,910 --> 01:06:14,830 because it was registered as a test car, 1144 01:06:14,870 --> 01:06:18,310 so technically only a Jaguar employee can drive it. 1145 01:06:18,350 --> 01:06:21,030 -So how did you? -I had to get a job at Jaguar. 1146 01:06:21,070 --> 01:06:22,790 -(LAUGHTER) -Seriously? 1147 01:06:22,830 --> 01:06:25,550 Yeah, I-I now work for Jaguar. I do. 1148 01:06:25,590 --> 01:06:29,510 But as my job is now done, Jaguar, I'm afraid I resign. 1149 01:06:29,550 --> 01:06:31,670 (LAUGHTER) 1150 01:06:31,710 --> 01:06:35,070 How will the news go down in Wall Street when they hear about this? 1151 01:06:35,110 --> 01:06:38,950 It will affect the share price. "Hammond rocks City with shock Jag move." 1152 01:06:38,990 --> 01:06:40,590 -(LAUGHTER) -That could be the headline. 1153 01:06:40,630 --> 01:06:42,870 Or it could be, "Hamster screws big cat." 1154 01:06:42,910 --> 01:06:45,670 -(LAUGHTER) -That would do it. That would cover it. 1155 01:06:45,710 --> 01:06:49,430 -Look, here is the... here is the truth of it. JEREMY: Yeah? 1156 01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:51,910 If you went out and bought one of those cars, 1157 01:06:51,950 --> 01:06:56,110 you wouldn't legally be allowed to drive it on the road, would you? 1158 01:06:56,150 --> 01:06:58,190 (MUTTERS) No, you wouldn't. 1159 01:06:58,230 --> 01:07:00,910 So you've actually wasted everybody's time, haven't you? 1160 01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:02,710 -A bit, yeah, -Yeah, a bit. 1161 01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:05,150 And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 1162 01:07:05,190 --> 01:07:07,910 Thank you so much for watching. See you next time. Goodbye! 1163 01:07:07,950 --> 01:07:09,870 (CHEERING)