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*THE GRAND TOUR*
Season 03 Episode 02
Episode Title : "The Colombia Special Part 1"
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Thank you so much,
thank you.
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Hello and welcome.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Hello and welcome
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to what is
a Grand Tour special.
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Yep, and it's gonna
be a big one,
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because we've had
a request from Amazon.
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You know how if you're watching
a programme and you pause it,
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you get to see a selection of
beautiful landscape photographs
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from all around the world?
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Yeah, well, we've been asked
to come up with
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some new photographs
of wild animals.
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Yeah, us three,
wildlife photographers.
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What could possibly go wrong with that?
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It's such an obvious idea,
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I don't know why we
never thought of it before.
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But, anyway, we decided
that obviously
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we'd need the right gear
and the right cars,
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and then we should meet up
with all of that
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in the most ecologically
diverse country on Earth...
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Colombia.
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Colombia is
nature's treasure chest.
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Its endless soaring peaks,
vast forests,
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lazy rivers
and babbling brooks
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are home to a greater
variety of birds and animals
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than you'll find
anywhere else on Earth.
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Of course, common sense dictated
that to get our pictures,
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we should meet far from
the stain of humanity.
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But for some
extraordinary reason,
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Richard Hammond decided
that the start point
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should be in the middle
of the night...
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close to the bustling city
of Cartagena...
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on a tropical beach.
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- Morning.
- Morning.
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Why did he say
meet on a beach
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and why... actually,
why did we listen to him?
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Where is he? Hammond?
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It's four o'clock,
for Pete's sake.
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- Uh, is that a Fiat Panda?
- Fiat Panda 4x4!
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- It's terrible.
- It's fantastic.
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No, that's fantastic.
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Look at that.
That is a sturdy car, that is.
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Isn't that a very popular
car with the gay community?
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- Is it?
- There was a thing in America
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where they had the top ten...
top ten LGBT cars.
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And that came third
or something.
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What, Lesbian,
Bacon... No, what is it?
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- Lesbian, Bacon, Transgender...
- Lesbian...
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What's that?
Well, that was a...
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that was not a distress flare?
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Well, a red one
is a distress, isn't it?
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- What's that?
- Hang on, is that...?
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Is there a person on t...?
There's somebody on it.
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Hello? Hello!
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- Hello!
- It's Hammond.
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- That is Hammond.
- Hammond!
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- Hammond!
- Hello! Here I am!
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- Is that you?
- Are you OK?
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Yes.
Some help would be good!
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Is that your car?
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- Yes. This is my car!
- It's his car.
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As the sun began to rise,
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we asked Hammond
to come ashore
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so we could work out
what on Earth was going on.
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Quite a lot
of explaining here.
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- A lot of unpacking.
- Morning.
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Yeah, good morning.
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Well, where do we begin?
Why is your car out there?
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Well, because that's where
the boat dropped me off.
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- What boat?
- Well, I shipped it from North America.
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- Yeah.
- They got to here,
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wrapped it in polythene,
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lobbed it over the side, me with it.
That's how they do it.
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I think, I reckon, there's a
lot of trade between the two.
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There's bound to be,
isn't there?
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What,
so you're saying, what,
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that Colombia's exporting
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- something to America?
- Yes, exactly.
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- I think there's more... Precisely.
- And then the ships are coming back empty?
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I think there's
more of whatever it is
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going to North America,
so they go out full.
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Then they come back so you
can get a much cheaper ride.
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- Cost peanuts.
- Hold that.
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What are they shipping?
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Well, what does
Colombia produce?
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I've got it here. The main
agricultural products of Colombia
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are coffee, cut flowers,
bananas, rice, tobacco,
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forest products - whatever
they are - and shrimp.
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I bet it's shrimp.
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Yeah, but we were
wondering why they don't
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drop you off,
for example, in a port.
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I know.
They just, they don't use it.
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That's how they... It all seemed
perfectly normal to them.
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Wrap it in polythene,
throw it over the side.
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- And threw you over the side as well.
- Yeah. Yeah.
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What's it say on that?
Global Auto...?
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Yeah, GAK.
Global Auto Kings.
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They're... That's what
they said was the company.
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Problem we've got is...
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how are you gonna get
your car from there... to here?
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I was rather hoping
that'd be we'd do that.
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No, no,
if you listen carefully,
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he said how you're going to get
your car from there to here.
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"You" singular.
Just you, meaning you.
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- W...
- No, he didn't say "us".
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You made us get up
at four o'clock...
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Eventually, though,
James relented
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and agreed to pull
Hammond's car ashore.
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Right, go, May. Go, go, go!
Give it a yank.
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James, what is that?
I mean...
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It's got 49 horsepower. It's
gonna ruin it. Get the Jeep.
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Can we find a small dog
instead to tow it?
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- Get the Jeep.
- Get the what?
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- This...
- What have you got?
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A Jeep. It's there.
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Well, bring that over!
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When I returned
in the LGB Jeep,
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Hammond thanked me -
by taking the mickey.
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That's very nice, by the way.
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- Well done. I'm proud of you.
- Isn't it? Why are you proud of me?
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You've done well. That is a hard
thing to do and you've done it.
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You are gonna be
so much happier.
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Would you like me
to help you get your car...
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- I would, I would.
- Out of the sea?
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- Shut up, then.
- OK.
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I thought you might be nicer
now it's all out in the open.
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We hitched up the rope
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and then waited for the
right wave to help us along.
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Go... now.
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Yes!
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No, not at all good. Whoa!
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I then realised that
we were doing this all wrong.
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That is presumably
a pick-up truck.
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- Yes?
- Yes, you've guessed.
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- And four-wheel drive. Yes. Right.
- Yes?
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Why don't you go out there,
cut away the polythene bag,
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and drive it out
using the engine?
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It's a good idea. Cos what you
don't do when you drive a car
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is use the engine
in someone else's car.
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- You use the one in your own car.
- Yes.
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So, while Hammond
unwrapped his car...
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James and I turned our
attention to his Fiat Panda.
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I bought it from
an English family
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who had bought
a house in Tuscany.
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And this... Pepe.
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Pepe the Panda.
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- And they loved it.
- Do you kn...
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I know everything
about this family.
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This has been used for picking their
friends up from Pisa airport.
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Oh, undoubtedly.
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And their friends are...
the editor of the Guardian...
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- Yes.
- Tony Blair...
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- Cherie Blair.
- Sting.
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- Alan Yentob.
- Yes.
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Every single
lightweight socialist
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in Britain
has been in this car.
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I bet they made their own olive oil as well.
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Oh, they were socialists,
really.
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As they are sitting with their
Prosecco and really care.
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"We're raising awareness."
"Raising awareness" means,
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"I'm doing
absolutely nothing at all."
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I'll bet they had a little
man in the village...
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As the Pet Shop Boy
ranted on,
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Hammond finally finished
unwrapping his pick-up truck.
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Unfortunately, though...
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it wouldn't start.
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No.
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So, after getting brained
by the waves for a while,
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he waded ashore again and came
up with a hare-brained scheme
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where the Fiat would be an
anchor and the Jeep a tug.
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Right, parking brake is off
and I am in neutral.
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- Right. You're ready.
- Uh... good, I am as well.
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I'm taking up the slack.
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- Here we go.
- That's looking good.
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No, no.
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Clarkson, you're pulling me
into the sea! Clarkson!
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Stop! Stop!
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Why are you there?
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You've pulled me in the sea,
you muppet!
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Oh, shit...
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Thanks to
Hammond's stupid idea,
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the cameras in my car
were completely ruined.
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So we ordered a taxi, sent him into
town to get a proper tow truck...
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and when he returned, he
asked Jeremy of all people
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to operate its winch.
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Are you moving?
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Yes! Yes, I am!
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00:09:55,881 --> 00:09:58,116
You see, you mock people
who like winching and stuff,
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00:09:58,201 --> 00:09:59,761
but don't tell me
you're not enjoying this.
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It is incredible how much
power you can get
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00:10:02,791 --> 00:10:05,676
out of a little tiny electric
winch. When you think...
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00:10:05,761 --> 00:10:07,416
Is he having some sort of
winch fantasy?
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00:10:07,502 --> 00:10:09,041
I've turned him off.
196
00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:12,676
I'm just sitting here making
sure that LED doesn't go red,
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00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:14,676
in which case the winch
is overheating.
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00:10:14,761 --> 00:10:17,116
Which he seems to think
is incredibly exciting.
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00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:20,756
Jeremy? You need to stop, you're gonna
pull me into the... the shelter.
200
00:10:20,841 --> 00:10:24,956
The only thing is... though
we have done well, actually,
201
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,876
is these three cars
we've got.
202
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,244
Because... they're all
designed to go off road
203
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,025
and yet they couldn't be
more different.
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00:10:32,111 --> 00:10:34,963
Jeremy, you're pulling me
through the building!
205
00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:38,916
That is true, it is,
it's a good trio of cars.
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00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:40,609
W... No!
207
00:10:40,798 --> 00:10:42,756
You've got mine, which is
bought by people who like
208
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:45,009
cruising the streets of
San Francisco, Key West,
209
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:46,676
Brighton and Sydney.
210
00:10:46,761 --> 00:10:48,876
And then yours,
which is bought by people...
211
00:10:48,962 --> 00:10:51,517
- Jeremy! Stop!
- who wanna feel better about themselves.
212
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:53,355
Yeah. So if you have
your second home
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00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:55,276
whilst people in the world
are homeless and starving,
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00:10:55,361 --> 00:10:57,800
it's OK as long as you
have a small Fiat. -
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00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:00,956
Oh, shit.
Hammond, you moron!
216
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,183
Well, I couldn't do anything!
I've got no steering.
217
00:11:03,269 --> 00:11:05,698
- Why didn't you tell us?
- I was yelling on the radio!
218
00:11:05,784 --> 00:11:07,284
You pulled me
through a building.
219
00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:08,876
This family has loved
this car since 1991
220
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:12,034
and you turn up from bloody
Wales or North America,
221
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,425
or wherever it is
you've been,
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00:11:13,511 --> 00:11:14,527
and you've already
ruined it.
223
00:11:14,612 --> 00:11:17,196
Listen, it's been
a bit of a cluster thing.
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00:11:17,281 --> 00:11:18,476
We need to work it all out.
225
00:11:18,561 --> 00:11:20,756
We need communications
properly organised.
226
00:11:20,841 --> 00:11:22,636
- What is that? That.
- You need a...
227
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:24,476
It's my ladder. Ah.
228
00:11:24,561 --> 00:11:27,916
You've bought something you can't get
into or out of without a ladder?
229
00:11:28,118 --> 00:11:29,737
Well, it's very high up.
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00:11:31,201 --> 00:11:33,261
Hammond, that's the worst
thing I've ever seen.
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00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:34,573
It's brilliant.
Look at it.
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00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:36,836
That was like the best
Christmas I've ever had,
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00:11:36,921 --> 00:11:38,448
unwrapping it out at sea.
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00:11:38,675 --> 00:11:40,339
"Ooh-hoo, can't wait!"... so.
235
00:11:40,425 --> 00:11:42,196
And then I saw
a little bit of a flame. Ah!
236
00:11:42,281 --> 00:11:45,556
And what is that? A
skull-faced fox abomination?
237
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,396
- Look at it.
- That is inspiration.
238
00:11:47,481 --> 00:11:49,196
It's already got
nature pictures on it.
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00:11:49,281 --> 00:11:51,796
It's brilliant. Doesn't that
cheer you up a bit?
240
00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:53,596
- No, it doesn't cheer me up.
- Yes, it does.
241
00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,116
It makes you feel happy.
242
00:11:55,776 --> 00:11:57,495
So far,
Hammond's pick-up
243
00:11:57,581 --> 00:11:59,089
had wrecked everything
on the beach
244
00:11:59,222 --> 00:12:00,716
and all my cameras
245
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,876
and cost us ten hours.
246
00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:05,278
So we told him
to shut up - again -
247
00:12:05,364 --> 00:12:06,761
and get it working.
248
00:12:08,206 --> 00:12:10,676
And once he'd done that...
249
00:12:10,839 --> 00:12:12,319
Yeah!
250
00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:18,792
We headed into Cartagena
to buy some cameras.
251
00:12:20,721 --> 00:12:22,921
SONG IN SPANISH...
252
00:12:30,268 --> 00:12:35,323
Right, this Jeep Wrangler
Hard-tail cost £8,000
253
00:12:35,441 --> 00:12:38,956
and absolutely everything
on it works.
254
00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:42,916
And... with my
Hercule Poirot hat on,
255
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:46,042
I would say that this car
was originally sold in Japan,
256
00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:49,065
because the television, CD,
satnav system here
257
00:12:49,151 --> 00:12:52,690
is all in Japanese,
which means I can't work it.
258
00:12:52,776 --> 00:12:55,156
And then you've got little
stickers all over everywhere.
259
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:59,675
This one says - look, "Hysteric
Glamour" and "CDC Rockers".
260
00:12:59,859 --> 00:13:02,581
That's a very Japanese-y
thing to do.
261
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:07,095
So, this was built in Ohio,
shipped to... Japan,
262
00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:10,556
exported to England, and then
I've shipped it to Colombia.
263
00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:13,916
This, then, has done
120,000 miles on the road
264
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:17,636
but about twice that
on ships.
265
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:22,076
I think it's gonna be
ideal, though,
266
00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:24,596
for wildlife photography,
267
00:13:24,681 --> 00:13:27,151
because it's four-wheel
drive, it's a Jeep.
268
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,996
So I could use it
to track a snow leopard.
269
00:13:30,205 --> 00:13:31,855
It's got a 4-litre
straight 6,
270
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,464
so I could keep up
with a diving eagle.
271
00:13:34,561 --> 00:13:36,796
And, of course, no roof,
fold-down windscreen,
272
00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:41,855
so a 360-degree field of fire
for my camera.
273
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:55,995
Let me fill you in a bit
on my 1998 Chevy C/K Silverado.
274
00:13:56,081 --> 00:13:58,076
It's a full-size
American pick-up
275
00:13:58,161 --> 00:14:00,503
that's been made a bit bigger
with a lift kit
276
00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,699
and modifications that
I'll tell you about later.
277
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:08,331
Most importantly, it's got a proper
big, old 7.4-litre V8 up front
278
00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:09,836
in a very lazy
state of tune,
279
00:14:09,921 --> 00:14:12,667
just churning out
huge gobbets of grunt.
280
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:16,573
I have four-wheel drive -
high and low ratios.
281
00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:20,308
That and this massive
lift kit, I can go anywhere.
282
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:24,237
Probably most wildlife photographers
use things like this, anyway.
283
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:27,196
You don't see it, you know, on the
telly with Attenborough and stuff,
284
00:14:27,281 --> 00:14:28,756
cos, well, this is
behind the scenes.
285
00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:30,425
This is how they get there.
286
00:14:30,835 --> 00:14:32,835
SONG IN SPANISH...
287
00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:39,876
Now we're alone, viewers, let me
tell you a little bit about my car.
288
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:42,808
I know some of you are thinking,
"Oh, that's just a Fiat Panda,"
289
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,401
and "They're in South
America."
290
00:14:44,487 --> 00:14:46,356
They're bound to be going
over difficult terrain."
291
00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:48,417
Yes, yes, yes.
But let me tell you this.
292
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,956
What you need
for serious off-roading
293
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:52,836
is smallness and lightness.
294
00:14:52,921 --> 00:14:55,105
That's what I've got.
This is a tiny car.
295
00:14:55,191 --> 00:14:57,956
It weighs 780 kilograms.
296
00:14:58,042 --> 00:15:02,676
A quarter of what Hammond's
stupid monster truck weighs.
297
00:15:02,761 --> 00:15:05,756
It has a four-wheel drive
system made in Austria,
298
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:07,316
very dependable.
299
00:15:07,401 --> 00:15:09,065
Does have
inclinometers on it,
300
00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,253
so that I can see
when I'm about to fall over.
301
00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:13,276
And it's perfect.
It all works.
302
00:15:13,361 --> 00:15:16,776
The fan, the cooling system,
all the instruments.
303
00:15:17,004 --> 00:15:18,404
It's all perfect.
304
00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:21,224
But then...
305
00:15:21,481 --> 00:15:24,516
My indicators have just
packed up so, you know,
306
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,151
there will be no indications.
307
00:15:26,381 --> 00:15:28,696
Problems with
Italian electrics?
308
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,300
I know, it's unheard of.
309
00:15:32,201 --> 00:15:35,073
The lift kit added to this
car by the previous owner
310
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:40,339
has not improved the
steering or handling or ride.
311
00:15:41,361 --> 00:15:43,436
What's it like being tall?
312
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,796
Bless him,
he's all exuberant.
313
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:50,921
Finally, he can be himself,
and good for him.
314
00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:55,323
Soon we arrived at
the really rather beautiful
315
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,956
walled city of Cartagena.
316
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,292
Which was bad news for the
not-at-all beautiful Trump truck.
317
00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:05,073
Oh, wait a minute.
318
00:16:06,521 --> 00:16:08,722
Oh, hang on.
319
00:16:10,948 --> 00:16:14,423
Are these walls important and,
like, really old and precious?
320
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,436
17th century, Hammond.
321
00:16:16,521 --> 00:16:19,636
That's how old they are.
It's a World Heritage Site.
322
00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:21,676
A World Heritage Site.
323
00:16:21,761 --> 00:16:25,196
Well, if they're that old,
the odd chip won't matter, will it?
324
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:27,249
What a moron.
325
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,780
Oh, my God.
326
00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:38,677
If I lived in
a walled World Heritage Site,
327
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:41,956
I wouldn't be pleased
to see that coming in.
328
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,036
Right.
329
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,196
Oh, God.
330
00:16:47,281 --> 00:16:48,836
This is tight.
331
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:50,641
There's an ambulance.
332
00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:53,396
That's an actual ambulance.
333
00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,836
Oh, shit.
334
00:16:59,921 --> 00:17:03,276
Shit, that ambulance is coming
down here, Hammond. Boot it!
335
00:17:03,361 --> 00:17:05,796
Hammond, there's an ambulance.
You've gotta get out the way.
336
00:17:05,881 --> 00:17:07,356
Well, I can't.
337
00:17:07,441 --> 00:17:09,996
Oh, God.
338
00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:11,876
Jesus, come on.
339
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,796
Oh, I feel bad.
340
00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:15,996
Come on,
Hammond, boot it.
341
00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:18,721
You're just gonna have to go.
Run over everything.
342
00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:21,476
Situation report.
343
00:17:21,561 --> 00:17:25,236
Hammond has caused a ten-hour
delay to our schedule
344
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:27,236
and is now killing a man.
345
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,676
Ooh, shit, sorry.
346
00:17:35,201 --> 00:17:37,268
Oh, that was bad.
347
00:17:38,081 --> 00:17:40,476
After I'd paid
for the bruised fruit...
348
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:43,617
Here. I do apologise.
349
00:17:43,936 --> 00:17:47,476
We plunged into the
labyrinth of narrow streets
350
00:17:47,562 --> 00:17:49,718
to find a camera shop.
351
00:17:50,081 --> 00:17:53,236
That was easy for the Jeep
and the Panda.
352
00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:54,476
However...
353
00:18:06,081 --> 00:18:08,201
Yeah, one more go.
I can do this.
354
00:18:13,281 --> 00:18:15,716
Yeah, I'm... I'm...
I'll sort it in a minute.
355
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:17,940
I'll be out of the way
in a second.
356
00:18:20,081 --> 00:18:22,196
I don't why
Hammond and May think
357
00:18:22,281 --> 00:18:25,533
that the Wrangler's
a... a gay icon.
358
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,716
Eventually,
having got our shopping done,
359
00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:34,845
we met up
for a camera show-and-tell.
360
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:39,689
And, once again, Hammond had
gone completely over the top.
361
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,017
What have you bought?
362
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,596
Everything.
363
00:18:47,681 --> 00:18:49,676
If I know anything about
wildlife photographers,
364
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:51,636
you need the kit.
So this goes around my waist.
365
00:18:51,721 --> 00:18:55,596
In here I have a selection
of prime lenses.
366
00:18:55,681 --> 00:18:59,836
A real... That's a macro lens for taking
close-up stuff, like, really close.
367
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:02,676
This is a 50 mil prime,
really fast, beautiful lens.
368
00:19:02,947 --> 00:19:05,116
Uh... then I've got
another harness.
369
00:19:05,201 --> 00:19:06,796
So that's for
the actual camera.
370
00:19:06,881 --> 00:19:09,476
I have filters for the flash guns.
There's two flash guns.
371
00:19:09,561 --> 00:19:10,909
They can trip
one another off as well.
372
00:19:10,994 --> 00:19:12,814
- So you pull up... Stop.
- What?
373
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,541
- You pull up by a-a-an animal.
- Yeah?
374
00:19:14,627 --> 00:19:16,775
- You need a photograph of it.
- Oh, yeah.
375
00:19:16,921 --> 00:19:19,716
An animal is gonna run off any minute.
You need to be quick.
376
00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:21,476
However big or small
that animal is,
377
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,636
I will have the lens for it,
flash for it...
378
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:26,236
Yes, but you'll have to hope it's
dead or it'll simply run off.
379
00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:29,916
And then, importantly,
of course, camera body.
380
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,436
- Very good one.
- Well remembered.
381
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,716
And most importantly of all,
telephoto lens.
382
00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:35,436
Shall I show you
what I've got?
383
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:37,316
- Yes.
- I haven't bothered with any of that.
384
00:19:37,401 --> 00:19:39,596
I've just gone for
the telephoto -
385
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:42,416
not one of yours - but that.
386
00:19:43,345 --> 00:19:44,876
This is all I've got.
That's all you need.
387
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:47,956
- What, that is literally it?
- Yeah. That's all you need.
388
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,486
Well, are you gonna photograph
animals in this country?
389
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,716
- I...
- That's a pervert camera.
390
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,814
No, it's a Daily Mail camera
is what it is.
391
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,775
Exactly. That's what I meant.
392
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:00,119
- Oh. That's heavy.
- I'll bet it is!
393
00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:02,116
- That's a lot of glass.
- Clear this away.
394
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,401
Let me show you
what I've got.
395
00:20:08,761 --> 00:20:10,476
All right.
396
00:20:16,931 --> 00:20:18,716
That is a camera.
397
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:22,356
If we'd been tasked with photographing
somebody's 21st birthday party...
398
00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:24,676
- Perfect.
- Welcome to 2018.
399
00:20:24,761 --> 00:20:26,337
Everything you've got
in all that kit
400
00:20:26,423 --> 00:20:28,436
that you've just shown us,
is in there.
401
00:20:28,521 --> 00:20:31,002
Show me your zoom lens.
402
00:20:31,332 --> 00:20:33,247
- Behold the lens.
- What, is it a cold day?
403
00:20:33,355 --> 00:20:34,595
Behold the zoom.
404
00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:37,494
The woman in the shop said this
camera takes good pictures.
405
00:20:37,641 --> 00:20:40,994
That's enough for me.
406
00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:43,228
Keen to get cracking,
we hit the streets
407
00:20:43,328 --> 00:20:47,166
and began immediately
to do animal photography.
408
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:50,116
James, move,
you're in my shot.
409
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:52,627
Woof... Grrr...
410
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:55,041
Shit.
411
00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:56,876
I've gotta get further away.
412
00:20:57,158 --> 00:21:00,166
Oh, wait, I thought I saw
an insect, but I've...
413
00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:04,321
Green flash.
414
00:21:11,881 --> 00:21:14,836
Oh, Christ,
I've got a macro on!
415
00:21:14,921 --> 00:21:18,041
Stay, pigeon. Don't scare it.
416
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:20,801
Er...
417
00:21:22,158 --> 00:21:24,153
Oh!
418
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,675
- Get out of the way.
- I'm sorry. Am I annoying you?
419
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:29,196
Yes, you are. You can't
possibly need to be that close.
420
00:21:29,281 --> 00:21:30,956
Hello, horsey.
421
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,596
Eventually,
we got into the groove.
422
00:21:33,681 --> 00:21:36,356
Got it.
423
00:21:36,610 --> 00:21:38,356
Look. Look at my pigeon.
424
00:21:38,509 --> 00:21:40,436
And after just 20 minutes...
425
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:46,775
we met up to celebrate
a job well done.
426
00:21:46,921 --> 00:21:48,996
- Yeah, I've got a dog.
- You've got that horse one.
427
00:21:49,081 --> 00:21:50,676
I've got a pigeon
looking gormless.
428
00:21:50,761 --> 00:21:52,556
I think we... Haven't we
pretty much done it?
429
00:21:52,641 --> 00:21:54,996
A number of dogs
and a number of horses.
430
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,996
And a spider's ho...
The spider had gone,
431
00:21:58,081 --> 00:22:00,116
but I've got the hole the spider...
That's habitat.
432
00:22:00,201 --> 00:22:01,796
You've got where
the spider lived.
433
00:22:01,881 --> 00:22:03,836
- That's habitat.
- Oh, hang on, sorry.
434
00:22:03,921 --> 00:22:05,436
That's what they want.
435
00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:07,796
Chaps, we have a message here
from Mr Wilman.
436
00:22:08,025 --> 00:22:09,916
- What?
- What does he want?
437
00:22:10,126 --> 00:22:11,636
It's bad news, I'm afraid.
438
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:15,356
Amazon don't just want pictures
of pigeons, dogs, and flies.
439
00:22:15,441 --> 00:22:17,915
They want
interesting stuff as well.
440
00:22:18,721 --> 00:22:21,596
They insist the following
must be included:
441
00:22:21,884 --> 00:22:24,956
a condor, a spectacled bear,
442
00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:27,996
a jaguar
and a hippopotamus.
443
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:31,134
And they must be wild.
You can't just go to a zoo.
444
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,636
Hippopotamus?
You don't get those here.
445
00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:35,765
- They don't have them here, do they?
- In Africa.
446
00:22:35,851 --> 00:22:37,446
Well, how are we
gonna do that, then?
447
00:22:37,532 --> 00:22:39,276
How in the hell
are we gonna get a picture
448
00:22:39,361 --> 00:22:40,876
of a hippopotamus
in South America?
449
00:22:40,962 --> 00:22:42,436
You've got
a really long lens!
450
00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:44,949
But I'll have to be on a very
tall mountain to see Africa.
451
00:22:45,035 --> 00:22:48,433
Well, I tell you what we're not
going to see lumbering by here...
452
00:22:51,401 --> 00:22:55,667
The next day, armed with our
new and more challenging instructions,
453
00:22:55,785 --> 00:22:58,730
we decided to make
an early start.
454
00:22:59,081 --> 00:23:00,581
Sadly, however...
455
00:23:05,855 --> 00:23:07,236
What was that?
456
00:23:07,321 --> 00:23:10,605
It's... The starter keeps engaging
whilst the engine is running. Hang on.
457
00:23:10,785 --> 00:23:14,236
- Only does
it occasionally. It's incon...
458
00:23:14,321 --> 00:23:15,636
Ah!
459
00:23:15,721 --> 00:23:17,796
- It's that.
- Ohh.
460
00:23:22,961 --> 00:23:26,390
It's better. It's mended.
All is fine.
461
00:23:26,476 --> 00:23:28,596
I'd like to name my Fiat...
462
00:23:33,397 --> 00:23:36,081
See, that's a terrible noise.
Ohh!
463
00:23:39,481 --> 00:23:43,836
Leaving Hammond to repair
the endlessly annoying Trump truck,
464
00:23:43,921 --> 00:23:46,236
May and I hit the road.
465
00:23:46,321 --> 00:23:49,081
POP SONG IN SPANISH...
466
00:23:50,921 --> 00:23:52,756
Well, shrimping
and forest products
467
00:23:52,841 --> 00:23:54,996
obviously uh... pays well.
468
00:23:55,081 --> 00:23:57,960
- Look at the boats out there.
- I know, that is amazing, isn't it?
469
00:23:58,045 --> 00:24:00,316
You often see that. The
most humble of commodities
470
00:24:00,401 --> 00:24:04,116
and it yields just incredible
wealth for a privileged few.
471
00:24:04,201 --> 00:24:06,600
Yeah.
472
00:24:06,741 --> 00:24:08,780
Right, we're now
leaving Cartagena
473
00:24:08,921 --> 00:24:12,956
in our quest to find many
interesting animals to photograph,
474
00:24:13,041 --> 00:24:16,264
including... a hippopotamus.
475
00:24:17,121 --> 00:24:19,522
That's the tricky one.
476
00:24:20,111 --> 00:24:24,746
Obviously, many difficult
challenges would lie ahead.
477
00:24:25,081 --> 00:24:27,156
There'd be thick forests...
478
00:24:30,463 --> 00:24:32,263
volcanoes...
479
00:24:33,881 --> 00:24:36,236
treacherous
mountain passes...
480
00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:37,836
Oh, Jesus!
481
00:24:38,225 --> 00:24:40,156
And dreadful weather.
482
00:24:42,841 --> 00:24:47,996
But we weren't unduly worried
because we were using cars.
483
00:24:48,538 --> 00:24:50,396
Photographers like to pretend
484
00:24:50,481 --> 00:24:52,636
that everything is more
complicated than it needs to be.
485
00:24:52,721 --> 00:24:54,952
So, you know,
boxes and lenses and bags -
486
00:24:55,038 --> 00:24:56,396
all the stuff
Richard Hammond's got.
487
00:24:56,481 --> 00:24:59,276
Also wildlife photographers
like to pretend
488
00:24:59,361 --> 00:25:01,356
that life
has to be difficult.
489
00:25:01,441 --> 00:25:03,116
Live up a tree
for three weeks,
490
00:25:03,201 --> 00:25:04,876
freeze yourself to death
on an iceberg
491
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,876
to take a picture of
a polar bear or whatever.
492
00:25:06,961 --> 00:25:09,356
No. It can be comfortable.
493
00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:11,676
The car can make
anything comfortable.
494
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:14,483
Drive up,
take your picture, drive off.
495
00:25:17,081 --> 00:25:19,916
Sadly, though, while we were
covering the ground
496
00:25:20,001 --> 00:25:21,655
quickly and comfortably,
497
00:25:21,748 --> 00:25:25,499
photographic opportunities
were a bit sparse.
498
00:25:26,081 --> 00:25:29,303
More cows. And a goat thing.
499
00:25:29,721 --> 00:25:32,842
Yeah, not wild
or interesting.
500
00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:35,396
No, fair enough,
I'll give you that.
501
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,913
Dead dog.
502
00:25:38,198 --> 00:25:40,147
Oh, quite a sweet
dead dog, though.
503
00:25:40,233 --> 00:25:42,756
Well, it was sweet
when it was alive.
504
00:25:42,884 --> 00:25:46,756
Even our now mobile
colleague was having no joy.
505
00:25:46,961 --> 00:25:50,139
Come on out. Come on.
506
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,030
Oh, stop hiding behind the
damn tree, you little ♪♪♪♪
507
00:25:54,702 --> 00:25:58,217
And annoyingly for me,
on these rural roads,
508
00:25:58,303 --> 00:26:01,555
the Jeep started to show
its true colours.
509
00:26:01,641 --> 00:26:03,749
Oh, God.
510
00:26:03,972 --> 00:26:06,235
Ooh, the ride's not good.
511
00:26:06,321 --> 00:26:08,694
Oh, Jesus.
512
00:26:08,788 --> 00:26:11,395
Ohh, I'm supposed
to be proving
513
00:26:11,481 --> 00:26:14,996
that wildlife photography
is easy and comfortable.
514
00:26:15,249 --> 00:26:17,356
Jeep's letting me down
a little bit on that front.
515
00:26:17,441 --> 00:26:19,481
Aaargh.
516
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,835
Keen to have a break
from the relentless bouncing,
517
00:26:24,921 --> 00:26:28,982
I suggested we stop to photograph
an animal everyone likes...
518
00:26:29,068 --> 00:26:30,348
a donkey.
519
00:26:33,463 --> 00:26:34,983
Come on.
520
00:26:36,248 --> 00:26:37,916
Aw.
521
00:26:38,084 --> 00:26:43,420
However, my long lens saw
something rather disturbing.
522
00:26:44,801 --> 00:26:47,041
Come on, there's a man
in the back of shot.
523
00:26:48,026 --> 00:26:49,920
Wait, hang on.
524
00:26:54,401 --> 00:26:56,904
So, I went with
our translator
525
00:26:56,990 --> 00:27:00,295
to talk to people
in the local village.
526
00:27:00,867 --> 00:27:03,936
Could you ask... did...
527
00:27:04,041 --> 00:27:09,076
Was that young man having
relations with that donkey
528
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,701
or did I miss-see something?
529
00:27:12,354 --> 00:27:15,967
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH...
530
00:27:20,345 --> 00:27:22,576
- OK.
- Si?
531
00:27:24,396 --> 00:27:26,857
They say yes.
That's right.
532
00:27:27,553 --> 00:27:30,342
- What did he say, normal?
- No, no trouble. At all.
533
00:27:30,481 --> 00:27:32,156
- Normal.
- Normal?
534
00:27:32,241 --> 00:27:34,036
Si. Normal.
535
00:27:34,121 --> 00:27:37,316
- So you've all...
- THEY SPEAK SPANISH...
536
00:27:37,401 --> 00:27:39,556
enjoyed the company
of donkeys?
537
00:27:39,641 --> 00:27:44,116
THEY SPEAK SPANISH...
538
00:27:50,841 --> 00:27:52,996
So they say that basically
that's the first wife,
539
00:27:53,081 --> 00:27:55,068
the first lover
that they have.
540
00:27:55,785 --> 00:27:57,860
That's nice.
541
00:27:58,014 --> 00:27:59,876
Are all the donkeys
fair game?
542
00:27:59,961 --> 00:28:01,556
Every single donkey,
or just...
543
00:28:04,401 --> 00:28:06,596
All of them, male and female?
544
00:28:12,641 --> 00:28:15,350
Oh, OK, no. Only female.
545
00:28:15,436 --> 00:28:18,193
So they don't have sex
with male donkeys.
546
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,363
That would be what, weird?
547
00:28:21,681 --> 00:28:24,156
So they said
down here somewhere.
548
00:28:24,241 --> 00:28:25,756
Oh, hello.
549
00:28:25,961 --> 00:28:27,271
Donkeys.
550
00:28:27,499 --> 00:28:29,459
Oh, we'll be photographing
donkeys, then, I guess.
551
00:28:29,827 --> 00:28:30,987
Excellent.
552
00:28:34,521 --> 00:28:36,076
Right,
try not to make a noise.
553
00:28:36,161 --> 00:28:37,796
I shan't. Don't worry.
554
00:28:37,881 --> 00:28:40,196
Cos this one's
particularly timid.
555
00:28:42,481 --> 00:28:44,636
Hang on.
556
00:28:44,721 --> 00:28:46,956
We're leaving now.
Leave, now.
557
00:28:47,041 --> 00:28:48,617
- What?
- We're leaving.
558
00:28:53,744 --> 00:28:56,064
Ah, it seemed like
a really nice little place.
559
00:28:57,641 --> 00:29:00,001
Jeremy, why do we have to go?
560
00:29:02,641 --> 00:29:04,641
Have you upset someone?
561
00:29:06,881 --> 00:29:08,836
He's either committed
some terrible faux pas
562
00:29:08,921 --> 00:29:12,321
or he's got sunstroke -
he's very red in the face.
563
00:29:13,801 --> 00:29:16,836
Why don't these Colombians
just grow something?
564
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:20,813
Surely there must be
a plant of some sort
565
00:29:20,899 --> 00:29:23,820
that people living out in
the sticks could grow here,
566
00:29:23,906 --> 00:29:25,953
and then sell
around the world...
567
00:29:27,147 --> 00:29:30,649
rather than...
interfering with animals.
568
00:29:35,761 --> 00:29:37,578
We continued onwards,
569
00:29:37,664 --> 00:29:42,461
acutely aware that so far our
mission was not going well.
570
00:29:47,201 --> 00:29:50,875
What photographs have
we got between us so far?
571
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,676
Have either of you two
got anything
572
00:29:52,761 --> 00:29:54,676
you could put on
an Amazon screensaver?
573
00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:56,996
I have a selfie
with a donkey.
574
00:29:57,081 --> 00:29:59,116
Yeah, you wouldn't wanna
use my donkey photograph,
575
00:29:59,201 --> 00:30:00,916
that's for damn sure.
576
00:30:01,001 --> 00:30:04,116
We've got nothing
between us so far at all.
577
00:30:04,669 --> 00:30:06,509
But then...
578
00:30:07,281 --> 00:30:10,274
No, wait. What's this?
579
00:30:10,882 --> 00:30:13,357
Looks like a badger
having a massive poo.
580
00:30:13,774 --> 00:30:15,796
No, that's an anteater.
581
00:30:15,881 --> 00:30:17,596
You're right, it is.
It's an anteater.
582
00:30:17,681 --> 00:30:19,636
But it's only
a picture of one.
583
00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:21,516
But what it's doing
is telling us
584
00:30:21,601 --> 00:30:23,596
they cross the road here.
585
00:30:23,681 --> 00:30:27,476
Well, hang on. If they cross
the road here, we just wait.
586
00:30:27,561 --> 00:30:29,921
Why chase?
587
00:30:47,241 --> 00:30:49,876
I think they've put the sign
in the wrong place,
588
00:30:49,961 --> 00:30:54,076
because...
no anteater has crossed here.
589
00:30:54,161 --> 00:30:56,521
We've been now eight minutes.
590
00:31:02,041 --> 00:31:03,729
Three minutes after that,
591
00:31:03,815 --> 00:31:06,487
we realised we needed
to break out a map
592
00:31:06,580 --> 00:31:08,760
and get radical.
593
00:31:09,651 --> 00:31:12,729
Right, spectacled bears
don't live here.
594
00:31:13,071 --> 00:31:15,594
Neither do condors
and neither do jaguars.
595
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,292
So let's go to where...
596
00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:20,284
Yeah, we're sort of here,
597
00:31:20,370 --> 00:31:22,094
just outside Cartagena.
598
00:31:22,180 --> 00:31:24,775
We need to come down...
599
00:31:24,961 --> 00:31:28,356
I mean right down here, into
the Amazonian rainforest.
600
00:31:28,441 --> 00:31:31,236
National parks,
the mountains.
601
00:31:31,321 --> 00:31:33,436
What the pros do
is go to the right habitat.
602
00:31:33,521 --> 00:31:36,721
I know that, because I'm leaning
on my camera, like a pro.
603
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:43,276
One of the main targets
on our hit list was the jaguar,
604
00:31:43,361 --> 00:31:45,956
and they live mostly
in the region of Santander,
605
00:31:46,041 --> 00:31:48,996
which was 400 miles away.
606
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:53,961
So we saddled up and settled
down for the long drive south.
607
00:32:00,601 --> 00:32:03,756
I'd love to tell you how fast
my 49 horsepower is taking me
608
00:32:03,841 --> 00:32:06,036
but the speedometer,
which is electronic,
609
00:32:06,121 --> 00:32:10,485
has stopped working since Richard
Hammond pulled me into the sea.
610
00:32:11,761 --> 00:32:16,641
In a bid to pass the time,
I dreamed up a simple game.
611
00:32:17,641 --> 00:32:20,172
Hammond, why don't you pull
alongside your colleague,
612
00:32:20,258 --> 00:32:23,676
in his er... let's be honest,
1 litre Fiat Panda,
613
00:32:23,761 --> 00:32:27,316
with your
7.4 litre monster truck,
614
00:32:27,401 --> 00:32:30,258
and let's see who's got
the slowest car, OK?
615
00:32:31,281 --> 00:32:33,281
Er, OK.
616
00:32:34,801 --> 00:32:38,711
Three, two, one, go.
617
00:32:45,721 --> 00:32:47,876
The little guy gets ahead.
618
00:32:47,961 --> 00:32:50,727
It's James May.
James May is winning!
619
00:32:50,953 --> 00:32:52,556
That's all I've got.
620
00:32:52,641 --> 00:32:54,676
Ha!
621
00:32:54,761 --> 00:32:57,156
Come on, Hammond!
622
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,367
That realistically is
all I have.
623
00:33:00,281 --> 00:33:03,461
Easy.
624
00:33:03,662 --> 00:33:07,953
Richard Trailer Trash Trump
Hammond has been beaten,
625
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,891
and beaten big time! Bigly!
626
00:33:11,016 --> 00:33:13,556
I don't want you to take this
personally or anything, Hammond,
627
00:33:13,641 --> 00:33:16,676
but your truck
must be utter garbage.
628
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:18,981
Absolute garbage.
629
00:33:19,067 --> 00:33:23,195
You wait, this thing'll come into its
own soon and you'll be left gasping.
630
00:33:24,081 --> 00:33:26,596
I'm longing to see
the environment
631
00:33:26,681 --> 00:33:29,102
where that
comes into its own.
632
00:33:37,769 --> 00:33:39,769
SONG SUNG IN SPANISH...
633
00:34:12,721 --> 00:34:14,814
After many hours
in this,
634
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,439
the 25th biggest country
on Earth,
635
00:34:17,525 --> 00:34:20,549
we were finally
getting into jaguar country.
636
00:34:23,841 --> 00:34:26,996
And the long journey had done
wonders for Hammond's
637
00:34:27,081 --> 00:34:30,080
£11,000 pickup truck.
638
00:34:30,521 --> 00:34:35,196
Current crop of warning lights on my
truck include engine service soon,
639
00:34:35,281 --> 00:34:37,642
some sort of
brake failure indicator,
640
00:34:37,728 --> 00:34:40,436
anti-lock brake failure
indicator.
641
00:34:40,666 --> 00:34:43,065
Lights I don't have is the one
that tells me what gear I'm...
642
00:34:43,150 --> 00:34:45,150
Oh!
643
00:34:50,161 --> 00:34:51,396
Ah.
644
00:34:51,481 --> 00:34:53,436
Are we not concentrating,
Hammond?
645
00:34:53,521 --> 00:34:56,316
I may have had a wee.
646
00:34:56,401 --> 00:35:00,916
It is one of the most stupid
pieces of engineering ever, that truck.
647
00:35:05,807 --> 00:35:10,431
Since the jaguars weren't
going to be in built-up areas,
648
00:35:10,867 --> 00:35:13,382
we ploughed deep
into the jungle,
649
00:35:13,561 --> 00:35:18,556
along a dirt path that was once
a railway built by the British.
650
00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:25,676
Right, Jaguars, they are
very difficult to spot
651
00:35:25,761 --> 00:35:29,076
and very, very rare.
652
00:35:29,161 --> 00:35:32,322
You don't want to come face to
face with a Jaguar, though.
653
00:35:32,642 --> 00:35:36,181
Cos it does have
very strong bitey bits.
654
00:35:36,463 --> 00:35:41,080
Kills its prey by biting through its
skull and then penetrating its brain.
655
00:35:44,607 --> 00:35:46,927
This is proper jungle now.
656
00:35:52,081 --> 00:35:54,281
Oh, hello.
657
00:35:56,161 --> 00:35:58,756
I'm in a British railway tunnel.
Oh, no, Hammond.
658
00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:03,710
Ohh, tunnel.
659
00:36:06,961 --> 00:36:08,517
Stop it!
660
00:36:10,074 --> 00:36:12,274
I had to do it, it's the law.
661
00:36:17,424 --> 00:36:20,916
We drove for miles
along the disused railway,
662
00:36:21,001 --> 00:36:25,877
until eventually,
LGB Jeremy came to a halt.
663
00:36:29,401 --> 00:36:31,876
Gentlemen,
I'm rather confused here.
664
00:36:32,010 --> 00:36:34,116
We're approaching a bridge,
OK?
665
00:36:34,201 --> 00:36:39,322
It says no cars, no people,
no motorcycles and no horses.
666
00:36:39,961 --> 00:36:42,396
Well, what's it for, then?
667
00:36:42,775 --> 00:36:45,601
Moments later,
we found out.
668
00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:58,608
It's all right, James, why
don't you just...
669
00:36:58,965 --> 00:37:00,400
He is actually going.
670
00:37:00,681 --> 00:37:03,356
James doesn't like heights.
671
00:37:03,530 --> 00:37:05,956
- Oh, did you see that one just move?
- Yes.
672
00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:07,956
What is that? Hold on.
673
00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,396
That's one, two.
674
00:37:10,481 --> 00:37:13,264
You've got seven,
maybe eight feet.
675
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:15,374
But that means I'll have
to drive... I can't...
676
00:37:15,460 --> 00:37:16,556
You will.
It's got massive tyres.
677
00:37:16,641 --> 00:37:19,076
You'll just be running on
the outer ones.
678
00:37:19,161 --> 00:37:22,928
Well...
So I get to this bit...
679
00:37:24,561 --> 00:37:26,676
My car is wider than that,
680
00:37:26,761 --> 00:37:28,916
and that's wider than
my wheel. It won't do it.
681
00:37:29,001 --> 00:37:32,076
And that's high, actually.
What is that? 300 feet?
682
00:37:32,161 --> 00:37:34,841
Some hundreds of feet, yes.
683
00:37:37,201 --> 00:37:39,076
Oh, dear.
684
00:37:39,161 --> 00:37:42,236
Even though Hammond
isn't at all accident prone,
685
00:37:42,321 --> 00:37:44,596
I went first.
686
00:37:44,681 --> 00:37:47,116
Seat belt on or off?
687
00:37:47,361 --> 00:37:48,596
Off.
688
00:37:48,681 --> 00:37:50,956
Because what bloody
difference will it make?
689
00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:52,936
Really.
690
00:37:59,413 --> 00:38:01,530
Jesus.
691
00:38:02,117 --> 00:38:06,112
Oh, God, there's a really,
really narrow bit there.
692
00:38:06,401 --> 00:38:07,836
Ooh, ahh.
693
00:38:11,801 --> 00:38:13,996
Oh, speed.
694
00:38:14,081 --> 00:38:17,556
No, ah, I don't think
speed's the answer. Ah.
695
00:38:22,104 --> 00:38:24,779
Oh, oh.
696
00:38:25,201 --> 00:38:27,834
Right. I've made it.
That's good.
697
00:38:28,571 --> 00:38:31,726
Hammond, you will
shit your pants doing this.
698
00:38:31,881 --> 00:38:33,318
Well, that's helpful.
699
00:38:35,001 --> 00:38:37,076
I already am, watching.
700
00:38:38,089 --> 00:38:42,412
Spider Man May shot across
as fast as he dared.
701
00:38:43,950 --> 00:38:45,865
Not looking down,
not looking down,
702
00:38:46,161 --> 00:38:47,834
thinking about other things.
703
00:38:51,940 --> 00:38:55,455
And then it was the turn
of Big Donald.
704
00:38:56,005 --> 00:38:58,001
Oh, God.
705
00:39:02,881 --> 00:39:05,676
Ah. Ah.
706
00:39:05,761 --> 00:39:08,436
The only way I can do this is by
looking at the driver's-side tyre,
707
00:39:08,521 --> 00:39:11,196
and keeping it as close
as I can to that edge,
708
00:39:11,281 --> 00:39:13,316
and hoping to God
that gives me enough.
709
00:39:13,401 --> 00:39:15,281
Oh, Christ.
710
00:39:21,081 --> 00:39:24,568
Oh, Jesus.
I'm shaking all over.
711
00:39:25,401 --> 00:39:26,876
I can do this.
712
00:39:26,961 --> 00:39:28,326
I'm just gonna
look at the wood,
713
00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:30,748
not at what's below,
just look at the wood.
714
00:39:32,928 --> 00:39:34,295
Ah!
715
00:39:37,598 --> 00:39:40,118
Jesus Christ, no,
I'm too close to the edge.
716
00:39:50,641 --> 00:39:53,121
Argh. God!
717
00:39:56,641 --> 00:39:59,561
I think I might be sick.
718
00:40:01,513 --> 00:40:03,140
I will get there.
719
00:40:03,353 --> 00:40:06,015
Crossing this bridge
is just part of my journey.
720
00:40:10,484 --> 00:40:13,239
Who is that, clippety
clopping across my bridge?
721
00:40:13,325 --> 00:40:15,005
Oh, God!
722
00:40:17,801 --> 00:40:19,836
Not the Billy Goat Gruff
game.
723
00:40:19,921 --> 00:40:22,836
Mm, I will move my Jeep
out of your way
724
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:27,316
if you can answer this
simple prog rock question.
725
00:40:27,401 --> 00:40:30,556
I don't know anything
about prog rock at all!
726
00:40:30,641 --> 00:40:34,316
Who is the bass guitarist
in Barclay James Harvest?
727
00:40:34,401 --> 00:40:37,481
The Nolan Sisters! Get me off
this **** bridge!
728
00:40:39,201 --> 00:40:42,516
Let me off the bridge.
I'm gonna be sick. Please.
729
00:40:42,601 --> 00:40:45,356
Eventually Hammond
became quite irritated,
730
00:40:45,441 --> 00:40:47,556
so I abandoned the game
731
00:40:47,641 --> 00:40:51,596
and soon all of us
became quite irritated.
732
00:40:51,681 --> 00:40:55,516
There were more not
very well maintained bridges.
733
00:40:55,601 --> 00:40:57,361
Oh, God in heaven.
734
00:41:00,681 --> 00:41:03,356
The heat was stifling...
735
00:41:03,441 --> 00:41:04,996
and the ride in the Jeep
736
00:41:05,081 --> 00:41:07,916
became more and more
intolerable.
737
00:41:08,001 --> 00:41:11,036
Not taking this punishment
very well.
738
00:41:11,121 --> 00:41:13,841
Ohh.
739
00:41:14,961 --> 00:41:16,436
And then...
740
00:41:18,921 --> 00:41:21,281
James,
have you broken down?
741
00:41:25,001 --> 00:41:27,076
Yes.
742
00:41:27,161 --> 00:41:29,436
It's a very thoughtful place
to break down, this.
743
00:41:29,521 --> 00:41:31,956
- Why is that?
- Well, because, look, there's a little path
744
00:41:32,041 --> 00:41:33,396
Hammond and I
can go round.
745
00:41:33,481 --> 00:41:34,877
- He is absolutely right.
- Off you go.
746
00:41:34,962 --> 00:41:37,196
Leave it. Don't touch it.
Leave it.
747
00:41:37,281 --> 00:41:40,211
- I'm trying to help.
- Don't try and help. Go away.
748
00:41:40,921 --> 00:41:44,716
Everybody's getting
a bit bad tempered.
749
00:41:44,801 --> 00:41:48,664
Might be because it's so hot.
Could be that.
750
00:41:48,898 --> 00:41:51,086
He's not very keen
on us helping, is he?
751
00:41:51,321 --> 00:41:52,956
Sorry.
752
00:41:53,148 --> 00:41:55,076
- I couldn't see the bumper.
- I will punch your lights out
753
00:41:55,161 --> 00:41:57,676
cos I had my head
right next to the thing.
754
00:41:57,761 --> 00:42:00,116
Go on. Go!
755
00:42:00,265 --> 00:42:02,476
It'll all be fine
if we spot a jaguar.
756
00:42:02,711 --> 00:42:03,996
Everything will be OK.
757
00:42:04,081 --> 00:42:06,161
- Right.
- Go!
758
00:42:16,081 --> 00:42:18,521
Oh, now we're in trouble.
759
00:42:20,081 --> 00:42:22,316
Whoa!
760
00:42:22,401 --> 00:42:24,076
Hammond!
761
00:42:24,396 --> 00:42:27,715
You **** moron!
762
00:42:28,053 --> 00:42:30,236
- I didn't know you were there!
- Hammond!
763
00:42:30,321 --> 00:42:32,116
What the **** hell
are you doing?
764
00:42:32,201 --> 00:42:34,076
I was stuck.
765
00:42:34,161 --> 00:42:36,116
I didn't know
you were behind me.
766
00:42:36,201 --> 00:42:38,316
Use your mirrors!
767
00:42:41,161 --> 00:42:43,761
You totally smashed
the front of my car up.
768
00:42:47,081 --> 00:42:49,715
That really got out of hand,
all of a sudden.
769
00:42:50,275 --> 00:42:52,475
One minute going along,
everything's fine.
770
00:42:52,561 --> 00:42:56,916
Next minute, one of your mates is
throwing rocks at the other one.
771
00:42:57,001 --> 00:42:59,996
Problem is, you have people on
the extreme left - James May -
772
00:43:00,081 --> 00:43:02,596
people on the extreme right -
Richard Hammond -
773
00:43:02,681 --> 00:43:07,796
and it's always the liberal, sensible
people in the middle, like me,
774
00:43:07,881 --> 00:43:10,476
who cop for it.
775
00:43:10,707 --> 00:43:14,116
Eventually,
having fixed the Fiat,
776
00:43:14,201 --> 00:43:16,543
I was back on the road again.
777
00:43:17,841 --> 00:43:20,043
This car is just amazing.
778
00:43:21,114 --> 00:43:24,189
But then...
779
00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:29,027
Oh, dear. I think I've just
lost the exhaust pipe.
780
00:43:32,041 --> 00:43:34,066
Up ahead,
thanks mainly to
781
00:43:34,152 --> 00:43:37,436
our absolutely beautiful
surroundings,
782
00:43:37,521 --> 00:43:40,196
the mood was
a lot more tranquil.
783
00:43:42,841 --> 00:43:45,756
That scenery to our right
is absolutely spectacular.
784
00:43:45,841 --> 00:43:48,011
It is gorgeous, isn't it?
785
00:43:48,097 --> 00:43:51,636
Yeah. And of course we're not in
the shade of the jungle any more,
786
00:43:51,816 --> 00:43:53,396
which means
I'm being roasted.
787
00:43:53,481 --> 00:43:56,476
Have you not got any moisturiser
with you? You must have.
788
00:43:56,847 --> 00:43:59,756
No, Hammond, I don't have
any moisturiser with me.
789
00:44:05,481 --> 00:44:07,207
Buenos dias.
790
00:44:07,421 --> 00:44:11,621
As it turned out, the broken
exhaust was lifting my mood too.
791
00:44:17,934 --> 00:44:21,441
This is tremendous. It's like
being on a rally stage.
792
00:44:22,790 --> 00:44:25,621
I happen to know that
Tony and Cherie Blair were,
793
00:44:25,715 --> 00:44:28,246
in fact, massive World
Rally Championship fans.
794
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:31,605
In fact, I think they took
part in a couple on the quiet.
795
00:44:31,691 --> 00:44:34,011
They just didn't want people
to know about it.
796
00:44:34,081 --> 00:44:35,676
They thought it would sort of
797
00:44:35,761 --> 00:44:38,836
damage their reputation
and their standing.
798
00:44:38,921 --> 00:44:41,707
Unlike, say, starting a war.
799
00:44:43,001 --> 00:44:46,716
Further ahead, my long lens had
grabbed a couple of animals.
800
00:44:48,692 --> 00:44:51,027
I don't believe Amazon
801
00:44:51,113 --> 00:44:53,855
will be rushing to have that
as their screen saver.
802
00:44:54,157 --> 00:44:57,160
But we had yet to bag a jag.
803
00:44:57,321 --> 00:44:59,676
However,
as it's a nocturnal animal,
804
00:44:59,761 --> 00:45:03,441
we were hoping for more luck
as darkness fell.
805
00:45:03,931 --> 00:45:05,806
Predictably, though...
806
00:45:06,321 --> 00:45:08,276
Are my headlights on?
807
00:45:08,762 --> 00:45:10,521
No, they're off completely.
808
00:45:11,681 --> 00:45:14,001
I think I got sea water
in them.
809
00:45:15,481 --> 00:45:17,801
As we set about
sorting the problem,
810
00:45:17,887 --> 00:45:19,802
Tony Blanquist arrived.
811
00:45:28,013 --> 00:45:30,288
Ooh. That can't...
Listen to it.
812
00:45:30,521 --> 00:45:32,676
It sounds quite roarty,
doesn't it?
813
00:45:32,761 --> 00:45:35,081
That is a throaty sound.
814
00:45:36,521 --> 00:45:38,996
James,
do not throw rocks at us.
815
00:45:39,081 --> 00:45:42,761
Just calm down, say some of
your Chinese things.
816
00:45:42,847 --> 00:45:44,756
I'm very sorry
for driving into your car.
817
00:45:44,841 --> 00:45:47,436
I'm very sorry I threw a rock at you.
It wasn't at your head.
818
00:45:47,521 --> 00:45:49,756
Right, so we're back
as a team.
819
00:45:49,841 --> 00:45:52,116
- Yeah.
- I've said sorry to James.
820
00:45:52,201 --> 00:45:53,876
- Yeah.
- He's said sorry to me.
821
00:45:53,961 --> 00:45:55,396
- We're all OK.
- We've all said sorry.
822
00:45:55,481 --> 00:45:58,156
Everybody's happy.
823
00:45:58,241 --> 00:46:02,756
Once we'd strapped some torches to
the front of the pickup Trump...
824
00:46:02,841 --> 00:46:05,394
we resumed our jaguar hunt.
825
00:46:12,161 --> 00:46:14,196
Those torches are useless.
826
00:46:14,281 --> 00:46:17,676
They're just illuminating trees
over there and the sky up there.
827
00:46:17,761 --> 00:46:19,481
It's not helping anything.
828
00:46:22,041 --> 00:46:25,516
Eventually, though, after
driving deep into the jungle,
829
00:46:25,601 --> 00:46:28,596
we arrived at exactly
the sort of spot
830
00:46:28,681 --> 00:46:31,406
where jaguars
like to hang out.
831
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:36,523
This is
extraordinarily promising.
832
00:46:37,401 --> 00:46:41,617
But the most important thing,
of course, is to be quiet.
833
00:46:42,081 --> 00:46:46,992
Nice and quietly does it,
while I set up my camera.
834
00:46:47,441 --> 00:46:53,133
Unfortunately, however, the "quiet"
memo didn't reach Donald and Tony.
835
00:46:54,961 --> 00:46:56,756
My lights are too high here!
836
00:46:56,841 --> 00:46:58,516
I need to be parked.
837
00:46:58,601 --> 00:47:01,516
Oh, for God's sake,
quietly, I said.
838
00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:06,396
I'll stay down here,
then you'll be higher up.
839
00:47:06,481 --> 00:47:08,636
All right, now I can't see
cos of your lights.
840
00:47:08,721 --> 00:47:10,356
I was gonna go.
841
00:47:10,441 --> 00:47:11,796
OK, mate,
I'm gonna hit the road.
842
00:47:11,881 --> 00:47:13,836
You go that way
and check it out.
843
00:47:13,921 --> 00:47:16,956
Have you two thought about
maybe being a bit quieter?
844
00:47:17,041 --> 00:47:19,716
- You what?
- Little bit quieter, perhaps?
845
00:47:21,561 --> 00:47:23,516
Oh, no, Jeremy, I'm too close
to you there, aren't I?
846
00:47:23,601 --> 00:47:25,076
- No, that's fine.
- Sure?
847
00:47:25,161 --> 00:47:26,996
- Yes, just turn it off.
- What?
848
00:47:27,081 --> 00:47:30,076
- Just turn the engine off.
- What?
849
00:47:30,161 --> 00:47:33,239
- Turn the engine off.
- Oh, right, yeah.
850
00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:35,196
Oh, sorry, it was in gear.
851
00:47:38,241 --> 00:47:40,876
When my colleagues
were finally silent,
852
00:47:40,961 --> 00:47:43,876
we settled down
to wait for a jaguar,
853
00:47:43,961 --> 00:47:45,836
something which
the experts say
854
00:47:45,921 --> 00:47:48,439
requires immense patience.
855
00:47:56,361 --> 00:48:00,196
I'm bored! I'm bored and
I'm getting eaten by mosquitos.
856
00:48:00,281 --> 00:48:02,596
I'm being eaten
and I'm bored as well.
857
00:48:02,681 --> 00:48:04,676
If a jaguar
came now, I wouldn't see it.
858
00:48:04,761 --> 00:48:06,796
My eyes have shut down...
859
00:48:06,881 --> 00:48:08,596
from boredom.
860
00:48:08,681 --> 00:48:11,836
- What are we going to do?
- I don't know, but that is boring.
861
00:48:11,921 --> 00:48:13,859
No, cos honestly,
I mean the truth is,
862
00:48:13,945 --> 00:48:16,196
people could come out here
for 40 years
863
00:48:16,281 --> 00:48:18,996
and not see a jaguar.
864
00:48:19,081 --> 00:48:21,916
Well, we could use
my trap cameras.
865
00:48:22,001 --> 00:48:23,500
- Your what?
- What are trap cameras?
866
00:48:23,586 --> 00:48:25,826
Set it up, and triggered by
an animal and take a picture.
867
00:48:26,041 --> 00:48:28,196
- You've got those with you?
- Yeah. In my bag.
868
00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:30,773
Well, why the hell didn't you
say that when we turned up?
869
00:48:30,875 --> 00:48:31,956
Nobody asked.
870
00:48:32,041 --> 00:48:36,304
I'm sorry, yes, Richard,
get your trap cameras out.
871
00:48:36,390 --> 00:48:39,636
- What a great idea.
- Right, OK. Plan! I'll do it.
872
00:48:39,721 --> 00:48:40,929
Oh, I've just remembered,
873
00:48:41,015 --> 00:48:43,539
I've got a jaguar in the
boot, shall I let that out?
874
00:48:46,441 --> 00:48:51,687
After a while, Hammond had carpeted
the area with his trap cameras.
875
00:48:58,041 --> 00:49:00,351
- Now what do we do?
- Wait.
876
00:49:00,721 --> 00:49:03,236
We wait for an animal to walk
past one and set it off?
877
00:49:03,321 --> 00:49:05,836
- Yes.
- How do we know when it's gone off?
878
00:49:06,209 --> 00:49:08,409
Well, we just will.
879
00:49:11,641 --> 00:49:14,356
Er... I need a dump.
880
00:49:14,750 --> 00:49:17,236
- I'll alert the media.
- Well, I'm just saying.
881
00:49:17,321 --> 00:49:19,556
Don't worry,
I'm gonna sort myself out.
882
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,476
Sorry.
883
00:49:21,562 --> 00:49:24,133
- It's all this foreign food.
- Ssh.
884
00:49:25,979 --> 00:49:28,453
He's not such a good
outdoors man's person
885
00:49:28,539 --> 00:49:31,876
as he likes to think, cos I bet
he hasn't got any bog roll.
886
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,679
I'll bet you he'll just use
a smooth stone.
887
00:49:35,001 --> 00:49:36,716
- A smooth stone?
- Mmm.
888
00:49:36,801 --> 00:49:38,356
That's what snipers use
889
00:49:38,441 --> 00:49:41,076
when they're posted out
in the middle of nowhere.
890
00:49:41,412 --> 00:49:44,013
They wipe themselves
with a smooth stone.
891
00:49:44,529 --> 00:49:46,924
- Why a smooth stone?
- Well...
892
00:49:47,041 --> 00:49:48,916
presumably because
it's uncomfortable
893
00:49:49,001 --> 00:49:50,436
to use a jaggedy one.
894
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:52,356
Oh, yeah, but not...
895
00:49:52,441 --> 00:49:54,131
Well, you'd probably use a
leaf, actually, in the jungle.
896
00:49:54,216 --> 00:49:55,881
I mean...
897
00:49:56,041 --> 00:49:57,396
After much debate about
898
00:49:57,481 --> 00:50:00,356
how the special forces
wipe their bottoms,
899
00:50:00,441 --> 00:50:02,996
Hammond returned
and I quickly realised
900
00:50:03,224 --> 00:50:05,436
we were being thick.
901
00:50:05,881 --> 00:50:07,356
These are set off remotely?
902
00:50:07,873 --> 00:50:09,956
- Yeah. If an animal...
- Well, why are we still here?
903
00:50:10,041 --> 00:50:11,476
That's a very good point,
actually.
904
00:50:11,561 --> 00:50:13,516
It's better
that we go away, isn't it?
905
00:50:13,601 --> 00:50:16,356
Let's take the Bear Grylls
approach to natural history.
906
00:50:16,441 --> 00:50:18,756
There was a town,
well, ten kilometres away.
907
00:50:18,859 --> 00:50:21,920
Why don't we go into
the town, have a drink,
908
00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:23,958
- check into a hotel...
- How's that sound?
909
00:50:24,044 --> 00:50:26,356
And then come back tomorrow
and check the cameras.
910
00:50:26,441 --> 00:50:28,316
- Yes, yes.
- That's how you're supposed to use them.
911
00:50:28,401 --> 00:50:30,756
It's in the instructions. That's
what you do. You set it up...
912
00:50:30,841 --> 00:50:34,436
This good news put me in
the mood for some mischief.
913
00:50:34,521 --> 00:50:37,356
So, after May had
gone to bed at the hotel,
914
00:50:37,441 --> 00:50:42,185
Hammond and I sneaked outside
to mess with his head.
915
00:50:43,201 --> 00:50:45,436
- He parked his car there.
- Yes.
916
00:50:45,521 --> 00:50:46,836
Turn it round.
917
00:50:46,921 --> 00:50:48,236
Oh, that'll
mess with his head.
918
00:50:48,321 --> 00:50:50,316
So, in the morning,
can you imagine his face?
919
00:50:50,401 --> 00:50:53,177
Yeah, and he'll know exactly where
he parked it, cos it's him.
920
00:50:53,263 --> 00:50:56,193
So then he'll think...
he'll think he's gone mad.
921
00:50:56,279 --> 00:50:59,771
- How are we gonna do it?
- Bounce it. Ready?
922
00:50:59,904 --> 00:51:04,316
- Oh, yeah.
- So one, two, three, move it.
923
00:51:04,401 --> 00:51:07,771
One, two, three, move it.
924
00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,636
One, two three, move it.
925
00:51:10,721 --> 00:51:12,361
One, two...
926
00:51:15,561 --> 00:51:19,888
The next morning, with James
in a state of deep puzzlement,
927
00:51:19,998 --> 00:51:24,081
Hammond and I checked out
the ruined trap cameras.
928
00:51:25,681 --> 00:51:27,716
So let me
just get this clear.
929
00:51:27,801 --> 00:51:29,502
The jaguar
mauled your camera?
930
00:51:29,588 --> 00:51:30,943
Yeah.
931
00:51:31,401 --> 00:51:33,156
Is that really
where it's bitten it?
932
00:51:33,241 --> 00:51:34,878
- It's got bits come off.
- He's broken it.
933
00:51:34,963 --> 00:51:36,716
- Yes, he's broken it.
- But did we...
934
00:51:36,801 --> 00:51:37,932
This is the important thing.
935
00:51:38,018 --> 00:51:41,053
Did we get...
ahem, any pictures?
936
00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:43,734
- Right, I'll have a look.
- No.
937
00:51:43,961 --> 00:51:47,236
Er... something triggered it.
Maybe a leaf.
938
00:51:47,321 --> 00:51:49,476
- Ah, look, there!
- Where?
939
00:51:49,561 --> 00:51:52,036
There. That's its...
That's it!
940
00:51:52,121 --> 00:51:54,436
- That's it walking about.
- Look how camouflaged it is.
941
00:51:54,521 --> 00:51:57,361
There's its head!
That's its actual face.
942
00:51:58,361 --> 00:51:59,556
There.
943
00:51:59,641 --> 00:52:01,676
Yeah, but he's got a tree
in front of him.
944
00:52:01,761 --> 00:52:04,036
Yeah, but that's context,
that's habitat.
945
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:05,796
What's that?
946
00:52:05,881 --> 00:52:07,996
This is when it got
destroyed. That's its...
947
00:52:08,081 --> 00:52:10,083
That's its mouth.
That's whiskers, look.
948
00:52:10,169 --> 00:52:11,575
- No!
- That's its...
949
00:52:11,661 --> 00:52:13,616
That's a jaguar biting.
950
00:52:14,184 --> 00:52:15,916
That is an action shot.
951
00:52:16,001 --> 00:52:17,796
That's probably
got awards all over it.
952
00:52:17,881 --> 00:52:19,916
- Oh, yeah.
- Eyes.
953
00:52:21,903 --> 00:52:24,316
Now, that is a great picture
and we can move on.
954
00:52:24,401 --> 00:52:26,516
- It is.
- We have ticked that box.
955
00:52:26,601 --> 00:52:28,476
That's the Ace of Spades,
the jaguar.
956
00:52:28,561 --> 00:52:30,395
That's Saddam Hussein.
957
00:52:30,601 --> 00:52:32,921
We've now gotta go
and get his sons...
958
00:52:34,180 --> 00:52:35,935
...Uday and the other one.
959
00:52:36,201 --> 00:52:38,196
What was his
other son called?
960
00:52:38,281 --> 00:52:42,401
Edgar.
961
00:52:45,469 --> 00:52:47,464
We now have to drive
200 miles
962
00:52:47,721 --> 00:52:52,996
to photograph the King
of Spades, Edgar Hussein...
963
00:52:53,081 --> 00:52:54,596
Paddington.
964
00:52:54,681 --> 00:52:56,116
Oh, shite!
965
00:52:56,201 --> 00:52:57,396
Oh-ho!
966
00:52:57,481 --> 00:53:00,036
Oh-ho, look at you
with a wheel in the air!
967
00:53:00,121 --> 00:53:01,516
Gravity gets you down there
968
00:53:01,601 --> 00:53:04,236
and then you simply
drive up the other side.
969
00:53:04,321 --> 00:53:07,156
Oh, God!
970
00:53:07,241 --> 00:53:08,436
Stop. Stop, stop, stop!
971
00:53:08,521 --> 00:53:10,916
Stop there. Stop there.
It's gonna break.
972
00:53:12,841 --> 00:53:14,361
It's a bear!
It's a bear!
973
00:53:16,521 --> 00:53:19,720
We've been told
we're at 15,500 feet.
974
00:53:21,561 --> 00:53:23,697
Nothing for it,
we've gotta go higher...
975
00:53:24,435 --> 00:53:27,030
...to find Colin Condor.
976
00:53:27,241 --> 00:53:29,876
Oh, that's proper boiling.
977
00:53:29,961 --> 00:53:31,716
You're destroying our cars,
978
00:53:31,801 --> 00:53:34,676
you've got oxygen for you
and your car only,
979
00:53:34,761 --> 00:53:37,556
and we can see nothing!
980
00:53:38,801 --> 00:53:41,636
We're 250 miles
from the Equator.
981
00:53:41,721 --> 00:53:44,396
We're on a volcano
in a severe hailstorm.
982
00:53:44,481 --> 00:53:47,284
It's bouncing in
through the back.
983
00:53:48,521 --> 00:53:51,185
How much hail
is there in the sky?
984
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,731
Sync corrections by srjanapala