1 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:02,430 Hello, everybody. Hel-lo! 2 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:07,430 - Hello! - Thank you. 3 00:01:07,470 --> 00:01:09,470 - Thank you, everybody. - Hello! 4 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,190 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 5 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,830 Hello! 6 00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:15,950 Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. Now... 7 00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:19,430 Coming up in this week's show: 8 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,950 A supercar is dismantled for no reason. 9 00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:26,030 A man with no shirt on. 10 00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:28,510 And my whole tongue is wrapped up in intestine. 11 00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:30,870 My whole tongue is wrapped up in intestine. 12 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,390 Those are the highlights. 13 00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:36,870 - Those are the best bits. - Yep. 14 00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:38,190 They really are. 15 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:42,830 Anyway... over here in the West, 16 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,830 we tend to think that at £360,000 17 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,990 a Rolls Royce Phantom is quite expensive. 18 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:54,670 But this week, The Grand Tour is focusing mostly on China. 19 00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:57,830 And over there, things are a bit different. 20 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:11,630 Not that long ago, China was full of old, bent-over rice-farmer ladies, 21 00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:14,030 up to their ankles in mud. 22 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:20,030 But these days, things have changed a bit. 23 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:42,990 As recently as the 1980s, 24 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,630 people here would lie awake at night 25 00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,670 dreaming of having enough money... 26 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,670 ...to buy a mule. 27 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,590 Whereas now, just 30 years later, 28 00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:59,910 they dream of being able to buy a Hongqi. 29 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:03,350 Specifically this Hongqi - the L5. 30 00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:10,430 In Chinese, Hongqi means "the red flag", 31 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:13,470 the symbol of communism. 32 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:16,430 But there's nothing at all communistical 33 00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:18,470 about this monster's price tag. 34 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:23,630 Which is £880,000. 35 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:29,270 The interior is an exquisite work of art 36 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:32,990 with rosewood panelling and cream leather. 37 00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:37,470 The dashboard and centre console are fully digital. 38 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,510 There's jade in the door handles 39 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,630 and golden sunflowers everywhere else. 40 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,470 I only saw this thing for the first time a few moments ago 41 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,790 and already I'm in love. 42 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:54,630 I love the way each door weighs the same as a medium-sized mountain. 43 00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:57,510 I love the red flags here and on the bonnet. 44 00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:58,990 I love the flagpoles. 45 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,670 It's like... it's like a cartoon baddie's car, 46 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,550 cos in real life nobody could be that bad. 47 00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:07,670 I mean, it's impossible! 48 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:15,350 One thing the Hongqi doesn't have is armour plating, 49 00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:16,910 but even so, 50 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:22,110 it weighs just shy of 3.2 tons. 51 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:27,350 Now to move this enormous weight around, 52 00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:31,110 it's fitted with a six-litre V12 engine 53 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:34,110 which turns petrol into silence. 54 00:04:35,790 --> 00:04:37,830 It's not particularly comfortable, though. 55 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:40,350 The seats especially are very hard. 56 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,270 And the steering wheel adjuster button is broken 57 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,830 and there are no cup holders. 58 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:47,670 And it certainly isn't fast. 59 00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:53,150 In fact, it has the same power-to-weight ratio as a Peugeot 308 diesel. 60 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:57,710 Hongqi won't say what the 0 to 60 time is. 61 00:04:57,790 --> 00:05:00,710 I suspect because it won't actually do 60. 62 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:05,110 You know what, though? I don't care about any of that, 63 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:08,270 because it is just magnificent and evil. 64 00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:12,910 Gloriously, brilliantly evil. 65 00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:17,150 Despite its villainous presence, though, 66 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,270 the price is mad. 67 00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:22,270 So, I called May and Hammond 68 00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:24,630 and we came up with an idea. 69 00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:38,350 If you are a Chinese businessman or businessman-woman, 70 00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,510 and you want a car that reflects your status, 71 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:43,190 you don't need to spend £880,000. 72 00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:45,390 You can simply pop over to Europe 73 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,870 and buy a Mercedes S-Class, like this one. 74 00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:55,710 And even though this is the 6-litre V12, 75 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:59,110 it cost me just £8,800. 76 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:05,190 In other words, you could have 100 of these for the price of a Hongqi. 77 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:08,470 At this point, my colleague Richard Hammond arrived in... 78 00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:09,950 something or other. 79 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,310 What is that? 80 00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:15,550 This is a Cadillac STS and you can shut up. 81 00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:18,110 - I wasn't gonna say anything. - Good. 82 00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:20,750 Because this is fitted with one of the best engines of all time. 83 00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:25,230 The creamy smooth, 4.6-litre Northstar V8. 84 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:28,270 Making 300 all-American horsepower. 85 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:31,230 That engine was designed so it can run for up to 100 miles 86 00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:32,710 with no coolant in it at all, 87 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,950 by shutting down one bank of the V8 until it cools 88 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:38,430 and then the other one, and then the other one. That is clever. 89 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:42,190 - And front-wheel drive? - Yeah? 90 00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:44,663 It's a luxury car. Who cares what wheels are being driven, James? 91 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:49,390 Well, people who care about torque steer, weight distribution, 92 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:51,143 - dignified engineering, doing things properly. - All right. 93 00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:53,430 I'll cancel all the track days I've entered in it 94 00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:55,990 and I'll just drive around in it as a luxury car. 95 00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:59,270 Anyway, this is the Mercedes S-Class, which, as we know, 96 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,670 is really a sort of paradigm for the luxury car 97 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,030 and it's a pioneer of many things that are new on cars 98 00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:06,190 and that we come to see as standard some years later. 99 00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:08,390 For example... 100 00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:11,230 - first car to have... - Soft-close doors. 101 00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:12,470 How many miles has it done? 102 00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,750 180... 000. 103 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:16,790 Yeah, well, I figured. 104 00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:18,750 - Where did your car come from? - Germany. 105 00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:20,430 - A German... - Mm-hm. 106 00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:22,230 ...bought a Cadillac? 107 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:24,070 We were then interrupted 108 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:28,470 by the arrival of Clarkson in a BMW. 109 00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:32,470 Ooh, I see you've bought the long car. 110 00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:36,190 - Yours is long as well. - Are you two beamed from the 1970s? 111 00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:38,990 - No, they're long-wheel base and this is long. - It is long. 112 00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:43,790 This is the BMW 750 IL, 113 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,190 as Q called it in the Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies. 114 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,630 - Did he? - He did. 115 00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:50,150 - Nobody told him? - Nobody on set said, 116 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:51,990 "Desmond, that's not what it says." 117 00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:53,950 You would think, wouldn't you? Oh, well. 118 00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,710 And in the film, they use 740s rebadged. 119 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,230 - Do they? - Yeah. This is the real deal. 120 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,230 - The 5.4 litre V12. - Hmm. 121 00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:06,030 And all I paid for it was £8,400. 122 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:08,470 That is one hell of a lot of car. 123 00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:12,870 I only paid £3,000 for my Cadillac. 124 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,350 That's a Cadillac. 125 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:18,310 Yes, the point I'm gonna make is what kind of a moron 126 00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:19,990 in Germany said, 127 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:23,390 "Zere's Audi, zere's BMW, zere's Mercedes. 128 00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,830 I should buy a Cadillac." 129 00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:27,550 In fact, I know exactly. You know those Germans 130 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,230 you see that think they're Hell's Angels? 131 00:08:29,270 --> 00:08:31,630 - They're dentists, but they have Harley Davidsons. - Yes? 132 00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:34,230 And they go to the Oktoberfest and they drink Budweiser. 133 00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,630 Yes, well, I know the Germans you mean. 134 00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:38,150 No, it... You're wrong. 135 00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:39,630 Because the previous owner of that car 136 00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,910 was an American general living in Germany. 137 00:08:41,950 --> 00:08:43,310 - Was he? - A general? 138 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:44,983 An American general and he bought that because 139 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,310 he recognised what Cadillac intended with that car, 140 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,990 which is to take on Audi, BMW, Mercedes, 141 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,190 directly with that car with the Northstar engine. 142 00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:55,510 Oh, yes, they were very successful with that, Europe is full of Cadillacs. 143 00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,750 - Yeah, you see them everywhere. - You never see an Audi. 144 00:08:57,790 --> 00:09:01,550 Tripping over these. - Rarity and exclusivity are part of luxury. 145 00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:04,430 - Let's have a look at yours. - Mine, honestly, is in perfect nick. 146 00:09:04,430 --> 00:09:06,950 - It's um... absolutely fine. - I saw that. I saw that. 147 00:09:06,990 --> 00:09:10,190 - Saw what? Nothing to see. - That's got double glazing in it and has gone wrong. 148 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:11,910 Oh, wait a minute, is your... Come on! 149 00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,510 What's the disease? It's got... 150 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,070 - James, is that between the panes? - Yeah, it's got mumps. 151 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:20,030 That's the most depressing - a double-glazed window with mildew in-between it. 152 00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:23,070 - What's the matter? - You've got mildew inside your windows. 153 00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:24,430 - Where? - There. 154 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,950 - Well, it's just, it's... - That's really poor. 155 00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:31,110 Oh, my God! Basically, it's disappearing before your eyes. 156 00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:33,430 How can a German car... Sure it's a real one? 157 00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:35,310 Was it parked in the sea when you bought it? 158 00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:38,430 Let's not get bogged down with the oxidisation of my car. 159 00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:42,030 Because a lot of Chinese people, as we know, come to Europe these days. 160 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:44,550 Mostly to go to the Mr Shopping Village. 161 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:48,030 Which is now a bigger tourist attraction for the Chinese in England 162 00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:49,630 than Buckingham Palace - true fact. 163 00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:52,190 - Anybody else find that faintly depressing? - Very depressing. 164 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:55,110 If Chinese people are going to come to the UK 165 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,790 and buy Western soap and Western frocks, 166 00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:00,390 why would they not buy Western cars when they're there? 167 00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:03,430 Yeah, you can't buy these cars second-hand over here. 168 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:05,550 - No, this vintage isn't available here. - No. 169 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,950 No. - Because when these cars were new, everyone in China had... 170 00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,790 - Bicycles. - Yes! Or oxen. 171 00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:12,150 - Yeah. - And what we're saying is, 172 00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,750 you can buy one of these 173 00:10:13,790 --> 00:10:16,910 for a lot less than a luxury Hongqi. 174 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,430 - A lot, lot less. - And that's what we're here to prove, people of China. 175 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:27,510 We couldn't have chosen a better location for our test - 176 00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:32,550 the absolutely mind-blowing city of Chongqing. 177 00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:50,910 Let me give you a few facts and figures, if I may, about Chongqing. 178 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,990 Population in the municipal area of around 30 million, 179 00:10:54,030 --> 00:10:57,030 so it's one of the biggest cities in the world. 180 00:10:57,070 --> 00:11:00,310 14 different car makers here, so it's China's Motown. 181 00:11:00,350 --> 00:11:03,790 And it's the capital of the Chinese motorcycling industry. 182 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:07,310 And they made 100 million laptops here last year. 183 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:20,270 Apparently the city is twinned with Leicester and you can see why. 184 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:23,430 Apart from... everything about it. 185 00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,350 Oh, look, a train going through a building. 186 00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:30,630 Obviously. 187 00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:35,430 It's an amazing-looking place. 188 00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:38,430 The people of Dubai think they're good at knocking up a building quickly, 189 00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:40,390 but look at the stuff being built here. 190 00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:48,310 Of course when a city gets this big, this fast, 191 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:51,790 there are many ways to make money. 192 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:55,670 There's steel 193 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,150 and glass 194 00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:58,470 and concrete. 195 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,350 But one man thought, "Hold on", 196 00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:04,550 every one of the rooms in every one of those buildings... 197 00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:09,150 "...is going to need a door." 198 00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,030 Genius. 199 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:16,870 No brainer on the Dragons' Den, that's for sure. 200 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:21,750 It was such a good idea, he now has a drive-through door factory. 201 00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:33,470 Security doors, 202 00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:37,110 front doors, interior doors... 203 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,230 ...really fancy-shmancy doors. 204 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:40,990 Ornate doors, bank vault... 205 00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:42,950 Car doors. 206 00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:47,790 JEREMY: Five million of them last year: five million doors. 207 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,750 Well, that's not very interesting, is it? 208 00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:54,550 Yes, but now I'm the richest man in the world. 209 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:57,030 "If employee is angel overtime, 210 00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:59,830 it is not devil when they get salary." 211 00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:03,830 OK, he's not a brilliant writer, but what a maker of doors! 212 00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:11,190 The most noticeable thing about Chongqing, though... 213 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,470 ...is the heat. 214 00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:19,270 This is called the furnace of China. 215 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:24,030 Average daily temperatures, this time of year, which is, mid-July, 216 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,990 45 degrees. 217 00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:27,950 With 80% humidity. 218 00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:31,670 This place is hot. 219 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:33,430 Like mega hot. 220 00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:37,670 It's so hot and so sticky 221 00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,230 that five minutes after putting up a building, 222 00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:43,590 the jungle is growing out of it. 223 00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:45,430 And this is OK 224 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,670 if you're in an air-conditioned BMW 225 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:48,950 or Cadillac. 226 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,670 However... 227 00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,830 I'm gonna have to tell you that the air-conditioning 228 00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:55,870 simply doesn't work in my car. 229 00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,510 Please, no. Not here. 230 00:14:02,190 --> 00:14:05,510 Have you heard the news? James's aircon. 231 00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:07,150 What? 232 00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,870 Oh, dear. 233 00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,390 Oh! 234 00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,270 Oh, that... he's gonna feel that. 235 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,230 Ho-ho! 236 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,910 Aircon issues aside, though, 237 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:21,910 it did seem like we were on to something with our 238 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:24,150 pre-owned Western limousines. 239 00:14:27,070 --> 00:14:30,150 Cars here cost round about 240 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:32,110 twice as much as they do in the UK 241 00:14:32,150 --> 00:14:34,150 because of taxes and... 242 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,190 profiteering from the car companies. 243 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:40,390 So if you see someone in a Range Rover Velar as I just did, 244 00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:43,110 that here is £140,000. 245 00:14:45,990 --> 00:14:49,870 Yeah, I mean, that S-Class there, if that's a tasty one, 246 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,230 that's a £300,000 car in China. 247 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:56,710 And that's why this BMW makes sense. 248 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,230 You could come to Europe, 249 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:02,070 pick up a 750IL like this for £8,500, 250 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,790 pay for the shipping to China, pay the taxes, 251 00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:09,790 and it would still cost you less than a Honda Civic. 252 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:12,910 And it's not like this is on its last legs. 253 00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:16,310 I don't have a single thing in here that's broken. 254 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,910 Steering wheel adjuster, 255 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,190 unlike in the Hongqi, is working. 256 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:24,230 Indicators, lights, stereo - everything. Everything works. 257 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,350 Windows. 258 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:28,590 I've even got a cassette player. 259 00:15:28,630 --> 00:15:30,110 Look at that. 260 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:35,190 All my electrics were working too. 261 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:38,430 But actually, in this superheated-city, 262 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,310 there's an even better reason for buying a Cadillac. 263 00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:44,830 When Americans build a car, 264 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,230 they start with the air-conditioning unit 265 00:15:47,270 --> 00:15:49,670 and then say, "Right, let's fit a car to it." 266 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:52,470 It's top priority." 267 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:54,070 Speaking of which... 268 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:56,670 What this is, viewers, if you were wondering, 269 00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,350 is something called an ice towel. 270 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:02,350 You soak it in water and it remains cool for up to two hours. 271 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:05,430 Borrowed it from one of the crew. It's fantastic. 272 00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:09,270 Eventually, we decided to leave 273 00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:12,030 the centre of the biggest city you've never heard of. 274 00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:14,910 So we negotiated 275 00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:17,670 this gentleman's sausage-shaped junction 276 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,110 to try our cars on the freeway. 277 00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,870 Where, immediately, we had a problem. 278 00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:32,070 Every few hundred yards, 279 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:35,270 there's a gantry with cameras covering all the lanes. 280 00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:38,870 And every single car is photographed. 281 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:43,550 And every single photograph is then analysed by... 282 00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:48,830 ...an official in a room to make sure the driver is smoking. 283 00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:51,710 Because as far as I can work out, 284 00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:54,390 that is still compulsory here. 285 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,230 Other things - well, they're making sure 286 00:16:56,270 --> 00:16:58,750 that you have your seatbelt done up, 287 00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:01,190 that you're not talking on a mobile phone. 288 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,830 And that you're not... 289 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,830 Oh, how can I put this? 290 00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:08,070 ...touching either yourself or your passenger. 291 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,950 Apparently that's a thing in China. 292 00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:15,230 Quite a few people are prosecuted for pleasuring themselves, 293 00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,110 or one another, on a long journey. 294 00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:21,590 Yes! Oh, yes. 295 00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:24,670 Ohh! Oh, yes. 296 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,630 That is... that's actually really nice. 297 00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:33,470 Ow! Shit, I've fanned my todger. 298 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:39,990 Eventually, we arrived at the location 299 00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:42,190 for our first test. 300 00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:46,150 It's one of 78 centres around Chongqing 301 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:50,790 where teenagers can learn to drive away from the traffic. 302 00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:54,230 To us, however, it looked like a racetrack. 303 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:57,590 Which made it perfect for an ingenious handling test 304 00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,190 that I'd just thought of. 305 00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:04,430 Now, to do this, we're gonna use drones, like this one, 306 00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:06,870 which have been fitted with flamethrowers. 307 00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:11,230 They actually use these in China for clearing um... 308 00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,550 litter that's got stuck on overhead power cables. 309 00:18:14,590 --> 00:18:19,710 Right. So how are we going to use airborne flamethrowers, like this, 310 00:18:19,790 --> 00:18:22,790 to test the power and agility of our cars? 311 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:25,590 Good question. Each of our cars has, as you can see, 312 00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:28,190 been fitted with three chains of firecrackers. 313 00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:31,470 One on the bonnet, one on the roof, one on the boot lid. OK? 314 00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:33,230 So you drive round a special course here, 315 00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:36,190 while you're attacked by the airborne flamethrowers. 316 00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:39,350 And then you score a point when you've finished 317 00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:42,710 for every one of the targets that haven't gone off. 318 00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:49,430 Since we were up against two geeky millennials 319 00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,950 and we'd be driving powerful Western saloons, 320 00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:54,990 we figured we could outrun and outsmart 321 00:18:55,070 --> 00:18:57,470 the drones easily. 322 00:18:57,550 --> 00:19:00,710 ♪ Flight Of The Valkyries 323 00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:04,670 - Sadly, though, it was a massacre. 324 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:11,470 Ah, fire from the sky! 325 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,950 Agh! Agh! 326 00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:22,830 Agh! Agh! 327 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,550 There's the drone on my left. The first one. 328 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,350 Ah, God. 329 00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:38,110 God's truth! 330 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,230 Ohh! 331 00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:47,790 Fire everywhere. Oh, God. 332 00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:51,470 Bandit at ten o'clock. 333 00:19:57,550 --> 00:20:00,630 Oh, no! Oh, shit! 334 00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,070 - That will have alarmed him. - It will have slightly, yeah. 335 00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:05,430 - You know, dogs don't like fireworks? - No, they hate it. 336 00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:10,790 Agh! Aagh! Arghh! Aaargh! 337 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,550 That was such a good laugh. 338 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,830 Belting around with airborne flamethrowers. 339 00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:32,230 - Really good afternoon, that was. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 340 00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:33,550 - What? - Hang on. 341 00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:37,990 - Yeah? - That was a totally useless test. 342 00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:40,190 - Why was it? - Well, we did nothing 343 00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:41,990 to convince Chinese business people 344 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,990 that our second-hand limos were a good idea. 345 00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:46,070 And we all scored nought. 346 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:49,470 - Yeah, and we all ruined our paintwork as well. - Yes, but it'll buff out. 347 00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:50,950 - No, it won't. - Well, it might. 348 00:20:50,990 --> 00:20:53,070 Anyway, we shall pick that up later on. 349 00:20:53,110 --> 00:20:55,910 But now, it is time for us 350 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,350 to splash in some puddles of chat... 351 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,110 ...left by the drizzle of debate 352 00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:04,230 that falls on Conversation Street. 353 00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:12,710 I like that one. I like that one. - Yeah, I know. 354 00:21:12,790 --> 00:21:14,070 Damn. 355 00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:18,950 We'll stick with China. If we may. 356 00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:22,150 Um... before we were allowed to drive over there, 357 00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:24,350 we all had to sit Chinese driving tests. 358 00:21:24,390 --> 00:21:26,310 Now, we've seen driving tests around the world. 359 00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:28,310 I remember one in India I encountered once, 360 00:21:28,350 --> 00:21:32,630 where a woman passed, even though she was in the back of the car. 361 00:21:32,670 --> 00:21:35,070 And her examiner was in another car 362 00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:37,070 - following along behind. - Yeah. 363 00:21:37,110 --> 00:21:40,470 Used to be in Egypt that you had to drive six feet forwards, 364 00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:43,230 but then six feet backwards and then you'd pass. 365 00:21:43,230 --> 00:21:45,583 - And that was it. - I'd love to meet somebody who failed that. 366 00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:48,470 Yeah. Anyhow, so we figured that to get a Chinese driving test 367 00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:50,710 it would be, you know, quite an easy test. 368 00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:53,350 However, we were in for a bit of a surprise. 369 00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:56,670 Now, um... I actually got some footage of Hammond taking his test. 370 00:21:56,710 --> 00:21:59,270 - Does anyone wanna see it? - Yes! 371 00:21:59,310 --> 00:22:02,270 It's poor quality, it's on my phone, but here we go. 372 00:22:03,350 --> 00:22:05,030 Test centre. 373 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:10,470 Right, so he has to ball his fists. 374 00:22:10,510 --> 00:22:13,870 Then a squat. There he goes. There he goes. 375 00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:17,070 And then he has to get on some weigh scales. 376 00:22:17,110 --> 00:22:19,310 Tense moment here, tense moment. 377 00:22:19,350 --> 00:22:21,270 Still tense. 378 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:25,230 You passed! Hammond has passed! 379 00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:27,510 Seriously... 380 00:22:27,550 --> 00:22:29,030 Well done. 381 00:22:29,070 --> 00:22:31,030 - That was it. - Yes! 382 00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:34,190 It was nothing. I made it look easy. 383 00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:37,750 That was, well, it was the easiest driving test I've ever heard of. 384 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:40,390 Basically I passed because I proved that my hands do that 385 00:22:40,430 --> 00:22:42,190 and I'm affected by gravity. 386 00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:44,990 - That's it. - I think it is actually just a test to check 387 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,990 that you are a human being and not a dog. 388 00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,390 - Cos they can't... - Sure it was. However, afterwards, 389 00:22:49,430 --> 00:22:51,150 we were taken in to a sort of lecture theatre 390 00:22:51,190 --> 00:22:53,470 by a man who... 391 00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:56,190 talked us through the perils of the road in China. 392 00:22:56,230 --> 00:22:58,910 And he said that we had to look out for a number of things 393 00:22:58,950 --> 00:23:00,870 running out into the road, in front of us. 394 00:23:00,910 --> 00:23:03,150 Including, and I'm not - this is a quote, yes? 395 00:23:03,190 --> 00:23:05,230 You will back me up on this. This is what he said. 396 00:23:05,270 --> 00:23:08,070 Including dogs, children, and women. 397 00:23:08,110 --> 00:23:10,070 That's what he said. 398 00:23:10,110 --> 00:23:12,263 - He said that. -"Be careful, they run out into the road." 399 00:23:12,270 --> 00:23:14,190 "You never know, they're unpredictable." 400 00:23:15,550 --> 00:23:18,190 I don't think the #MeToo movement 401 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,950 has reached Chongqing just yet. 402 00:23:19,990 --> 00:23:21,630 No. Mind you, you say that, 403 00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:26,470 there are 78 self-made billionaire women in the whole world. 404 00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:29,590 - And 49 of them are Chinese. - Yeah. 405 00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:32,030 Well, there would be more, but some of them got run over. 406 00:23:33,670 --> 00:23:36,230 Anyway, look, can we talk about that Hongqi for a bit? 407 00:23:36,270 --> 00:23:37,750 I knew you'd want to talk about that. 408 00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:39,830 - It's so you. - It's interesting. 409 00:23:39,870 --> 00:23:41,910 - It's so you. - It's got him written all over it. 410 00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:44,390 Bad news, though, you can't have it in brown. 411 00:23:44,430 --> 00:23:46,190 Why would I want it in brown? 412 00:23:46,230 --> 00:23:48,670 - Oh, yes, you would. - You love a brown car. 413 00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:50,670 Your cars are grey and dark green. 414 00:23:50,710 --> 00:23:53,230 Mine are blue, metal fake, red, and orange. 415 00:23:53,270 --> 00:23:55,870 I can't see into your mind. 416 00:23:55,910 --> 00:23:58,270 God knows I'm not sure I want to. 417 00:23:58,310 --> 00:23:59,710 But... I know James May, 418 00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:02,590 as you drift off to sleepy bobos tonight, 419 00:24:02,630 --> 00:24:05,750 a brown Hongqi will be driving... 420 00:24:07,150 --> 00:24:08,830 "But I don't like brown cars." 421 00:24:08,870 --> 00:24:10,623 - It's like him saying, "I love horses." - Ha-ha. 422 00:24:10,630 --> 00:24:13,910 Things that aren't true. Things that aren't true. 423 00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:15,950 You love a brown car and you can't have it in brown. 424 00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:17,383 I've never had a brown car and I am interested in the Hongqi. 425 00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:19,190 - So tell us more about it. - OK. 426 00:24:19,230 --> 00:24:21,463 Something I didn't say in the film, which is quite interesting, 427 00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:25,750 is that when you order one, they send a tailor round to your place of business. 428 00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:27,670 And he measures you up for a suit 429 00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:30,510 that you then wear when you take delivery of the car. 430 00:24:30,550 --> 00:24:32,270 - Really? - Yeah. 431 00:24:32,310 --> 00:24:34,030 I'd actually quite like to be the tailor 432 00:24:34,070 --> 00:24:35,350 who made the suit for you 433 00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:37,590 when you take delivery of your Hongqi. 434 00:24:37,630 --> 00:24:39,350 It would have some writing on it. 435 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:42,550 - Would it? - Not in Chinese, it would be in English. 436 00:24:42,590 --> 00:24:44,870 Would it be a pithy description of the wearer? 437 00:24:44,910 --> 00:24:46,430 Yes, that's what it was. 438 00:24:46,470 --> 00:24:48,310 It's funny you should say that, because... 439 00:24:48,350 --> 00:24:51,670 in China there's a tendency for people to wear clothing 440 00:24:51,710 --> 00:24:53,790 with English words, you know, written on them. 441 00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:56,750 They've obviously got no idea what those words say. 442 00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:58,550 I was sitting in a traffic jam one day there 443 00:24:58,590 --> 00:25:01,710 and there was a woman on a bus next to me. 444 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,310 And she was a perfectly respectable, 50-something woman 445 00:25:04,350 --> 00:25:06,710 on her way obviously to an office job or whatever. 446 00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:08,950 She was wearing a white blouse with red flowers on it. 447 00:25:08,990 --> 00:25:11,270 Now, I took a picture. Here it is. 448 00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:14,910 And what that says is, "He was a (BLEEP) asshole." 449 00:25:18,070 --> 00:25:20,870 I would love a picture of her face when somebody 450 00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:22,830 explained to her what it said on her shirt. 451 00:25:22,870 --> 00:25:25,350 Do you know what's really amazing about that? 452 00:25:25,390 --> 00:25:28,430 That's exactly what I was gonna have put on your Hongqi suit. 453 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:31,430 - She knew. - She knew! 454 00:25:31,470 --> 00:25:33,990 I wanna get back to cars, if I may. 455 00:25:34,030 --> 00:25:37,390 Because there's some truly astonishing stats, really, 456 00:25:37,430 --> 00:25:38,950 about cars in China. 457 00:25:38,990 --> 00:25:41,870 We've got a graph here of global car production, yes? 458 00:25:41,910 --> 00:25:43,150 There's the UK in tenth place. 459 00:25:43,190 --> 00:25:46,790 We made 1.67 million cars here in 2017. 460 00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:49,670 Japan 8.35 million. 461 00:25:49,710 --> 00:25:52,270 China, let's put it up. 462 00:25:52,310 --> 00:25:56,990 Mind-blowing! - 24.8 million cars they made there. 463 00:25:57,030 --> 00:26:01,670 And what's extraordinary is that you can't just buy a car and then use it. 464 00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:04,910 You have to apply to a government-run lottery 465 00:26:04,950 --> 00:26:07,470 for a registration plate for your car. 466 00:26:07,510 --> 00:26:09,470 Now here's one, OK? 467 00:26:09,510 --> 00:26:12,630 In Beijing last year, for every thousand people 468 00:26:12,670 --> 00:26:14,870 who applied for a registration plate 469 00:26:14,910 --> 00:26:16,270 for a car they intended to buy... 470 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:17,750 For every thousand who applied, 471 00:26:17,790 --> 00:26:19,670 how many do you think actually got one? 472 00:26:19,710 --> 00:26:21,870 - 500. - 200. 473 00:26:21,910 --> 00:26:23,590 - 600. - 300. 474 00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:25,190 - Three. - Three people? 475 00:26:25,230 --> 00:26:27,070 For every thousand people who applied, 476 00:26:27,110 --> 00:26:29,830 only three actually got a registration plate, 477 00:26:29,870 --> 00:26:31,950 were allowed to buy a car. 478 00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:35,750 This is good conversation, this whole issue actually. It's really interesting. 479 00:26:35,790 --> 00:26:40,950 Would you like to guess what was the bestselling car in China in 2017? 480 00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:46,270 Well, Volkswagen have been there forever, so I'm gonna say the Passat. 481 00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:48,990 I'm gonna say it's a mid-sized Hyundai 482 00:26:49,030 --> 00:26:52,270 - of some sort, sort of boxy thing. - And you're both wrong. 483 00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:54,590 It's the Wuling Hongguang. 484 00:26:54,630 --> 00:26:56,230 What, that? 485 00:26:56,270 --> 00:26:58,110 Yep, there it is. That's the fella. 486 00:26:58,150 --> 00:26:59,510 That's the bestselling-car in China? 487 00:26:59,550 --> 00:27:02,830 They sold half a million of them in China in 2017. 488 00:27:02,870 --> 00:27:05,630 - Really? - Half a million of those were sold, yeah. 489 00:27:05,670 --> 00:27:08,510 They sold... Well, half a million of... Wu... 490 00:27:08,550 --> 00:27:10,070 - Wuling Hongguang. - Those. 491 00:27:10,110 --> 00:27:12,070 That's more than the Ford Focus. 492 00:27:12,110 --> 00:27:14,550 Yeah, and don't forget the Ford Focus is sold globally. 493 00:27:14,590 --> 00:27:16,710 That's just sold in China. 494 00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:19,790 The car, the Chinese car, that caught my eye, I must say, 495 00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:22,030 was the Bestune T77. 496 00:27:22,070 --> 00:27:23,950 - Familiar with it? - Oh, the Best... No. 497 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:25,223 - Never heard of it. - No, exactly. 498 00:27:25,230 --> 00:27:27,070 We've got a picture of it here. 499 00:27:27,110 --> 00:27:30,390 It looks a bit like the Lamborghini from last week, the Urus. 500 00:27:30,430 --> 00:27:34,070 But it's much smaller, 1.2-litre engine SUV. All quite normal. 501 00:27:34,110 --> 00:27:38,230 Except it comes with something called a dashboard assistant. 502 00:27:38,270 --> 00:27:40,590 Which is a little holographic figure that pops up 503 00:27:40,630 --> 00:27:42,870 and you talk to it and it helps you set the satnav 504 00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:45,110 - and make phone calls and so on. - That's very hi-tech. 505 00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:49,390 Except the little holographic figure is of a Japanese - 506 00:27:49,430 --> 00:27:51,830 a Japanese schoolgirl. 507 00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:56,310 And then you can choose what colour miniskirt you'd like her to wear. 508 00:27:56,350 --> 00:27:58,697 Got a picture... I'm not making it up. There's a picture here. 509 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:04,070 I'm not sure about that. 510 00:28:04,110 --> 00:28:06,630 I'm not either, but here's the thing, James, 511 00:28:06,670 --> 00:28:10,150 the Chinese don't care what we think, anybody. 512 00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:13,150 Cos they look at us like we look at cows. 513 00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:16,390 We're just big daft things standing around. 514 00:28:16,430 --> 00:28:19,270 Only instead of milk, we give them luggage and watches. 515 00:28:21,230 --> 00:28:23,390 That's actually the end of Conversation Street. 516 00:28:23,430 --> 00:28:25,630 It's not the end, however, of the Chinese stuff. 517 00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:29,870 Because we had a call the other day from a Chinese car manufacturer called NIO. 518 00:28:29,910 --> 00:28:35,510 And they said, "We have built a blisteringly fast, all-electric supercar." 519 00:28:35,550 --> 00:28:38,710 And would one of you like to try it out?" 520 00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:41,830 Yeah, now after his escapade going up a Swiss hill 521 00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:44,510 in a blisteringly fast, all-electric supercar, 522 00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:48,350 Richard Hammond said that he really didn't think he was the man for the job. 523 00:28:48,390 --> 00:28:50,430 However, it turned out 524 00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:52,510 that the car was only available for one day 525 00:28:52,550 --> 00:28:55,230 and unfortunately on that day, I had the boiler man coming round. 526 00:28:55,270 --> 00:28:58,150 - Yeah. And I had a dental appoint... - Dentist. 527 00:28:58,190 --> 00:28:59,590 Dental appointment, yeah. 528 00:28:59,630 --> 00:29:01,590 Yep. So, guess what? 529 00:29:15,070 --> 00:29:16,750 Here it is. 530 00:29:19,430 --> 00:29:22,470 It's called the EP9. 531 00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:26,870 And it's pretty clear that this is no Nissan Leaf. 532 00:29:26,910 --> 00:29:30,230 Because a Leaf doesn't have giant head restraints 533 00:29:30,270 --> 00:29:32,710 to stop G-forces from snapping your neck 534 00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:34,670 during hard cornering. 535 00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:39,030 And that's just the start of it. 536 00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:44,550 What I have here is a comparison 537 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:46,950 between this NIO EP9 538 00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:49,150 and the Rimac Concept One, 539 00:29:49,190 --> 00:29:51,670 in which I had my little, um... 540 00:29:51,710 --> 00:29:55,110 tumble down a Swiss mountainside. 541 00:29:55,150 --> 00:29:57,270 So in the Rimac Concept One, 542 00:29:57,310 --> 00:30:02,590 power: 1,207 brake horsepower. 543 00:30:02,630 --> 00:30:09,110 In this NIO, 1,341 brake horsepower. 544 00:30:09,150 --> 00:30:14,150 Power to weight: in the Rimac is 652 brake horsepower per ton. 545 00:30:14,190 --> 00:30:15,750 In this NIO, 546 00:30:15,790 --> 00:30:19,350 773 brake horsepower per ton. 547 00:30:20,950 --> 00:30:22,990 Oh, good. 548 00:30:27,630 --> 00:30:29,550 So, no pressure, then. 549 00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:35,510 Right. The high voltage system is active. 550 00:30:35,550 --> 00:30:38,430 So here goes. To launch, it's got to be in drive. 551 00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:41,870 - Left foot on brake, right foot mash the throttle. 552 00:30:41,910 --> 00:30:44,910 Right hand hold that back for one, two, three, four, five. 553 00:30:44,950 --> 00:30:47,150 Come off the brake. 554 00:30:47,190 --> 00:30:48,590 Urgh! 555 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:57,070 Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus! 556 00:31:00,270 --> 00:31:01,790 It's just insanity! 557 00:31:05,190 --> 00:31:08,030 They say it'll do 0 to 60 in 2.7 seconds. 558 00:31:10,310 --> 00:31:13,870 0 to 125 in 7 seconds. 559 00:31:13,910 --> 00:31:15,190 7 seconds! 560 00:31:24,470 --> 00:31:27,870 That direct, immediate power you get from these electric supercars 561 00:31:27,910 --> 00:31:29,350 is like nothing else. 562 00:31:32,470 --> 00:31:36,110 It's like one minute I'm here and then bam! I'm over there. 563 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:41,830 It's like driving a jet engine. 564 00:31:41,870 --> 00:31:44,510 Something else about which I have bad memories. 565 00:31:44,550 --> 00:31:47,310 This is a bad place. 566 00:31:47,350 --> 00:31:51,430 However, there is some good news for people like me. 567 00:31:51,470 --> 00:31:53,070 The brakes. 568 00:31:53,110 --> 00:31:55,030 Whoa! 569 00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:00,870 That's put everything back where it should be. 570 00:32:00,910 --> 00:32:02,390 My eyes have come forward. 571 00:32:02,430 --> 00:32:04,830 My lungs are on the front again. 572 00:32:04,870 --> 00:32:05,870 Oh. 573 00:32:11,710 --> 00:32:16,030 Now if you want to experience this phenomenal speed for yourself, 574 00:32:16,070 --> 00:32:18,430 you will need two things. 575 00:32:21,270 --> 00:32:22,630 First of all, a lot of money. 576 00:32:22,670 --> 00:32:25,710 Because this costs £1.15 million. 577 00:32:27,310 --> 00:32:29,150 Secondly, a racetrack. 578 00:32:30,670 --> 00:32:33,470 Because it works like that Ferrari FXX - 579 00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:36,230 where you buy the car, they deliver it to a track for you 580 00:32:36,270 --> 00:32:37,790 along with a support team. 581 00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:39,910 You drive it, crap yourself, 582 00:32:39,950 --> 00:32:42,430 then they take it away and hose it out for you. 583 00:32:43,550 --> 00:32:45,110 Since it's an electric car, 584 00:32:45,150 --> 00:32:47,430 you'll be wondering about range. 585 00:32:47,470 --> 00:32:50,070 Obviously if you hammer it round a track, 586 00:32:50,110 --> 00:32:52,670 you are gonna wear those batteries out pretty quickly. 587 00:32:52,710 --> 00:32:54,750 However, on the plus side, 588 00:32:54,790 --> 00:32:56,510 they only take 45 minutes to charge. 589 00:33:06,030 --> 00:33:07,350 On the minus side, 590 00:33:07,390 --> 00:33:10,470 you have to take the batteries out to do it. 591 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:14,070 And as they weigh 317 kilograms each, 592 00:33:14,110 --> 00:33:15,910 you won't be doing that on your own. 593 00:33:18,510 --> 00:33:22,470 It is a bit more of a faff than say, a can of petrol. 594 00:33:29,710 --> 00:33:31,910 However, if you're an electric petrol head 595 00:33:31,950 --> 00:33:33,950 and you're tempted by the NIO, 596 00:33:33,990 --> 00:33:35,430 you might be interested to know 597 00:33:35,470 --> 00:33:37,990 that it's not short of pedigree. 598 00:33:38,030 --> 00:33:40,270 There's evidence that the people behind this thing 599 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,230 really know what they're doing. 600 00:33:44,350 --> 00:33:47,030 For starters, the outfit that makes the EP9 601 00:33:47,070 --> 00:33:50,270 also runs a Formula E team: 602 00:33:50,310 --> 00:33:54,030 one which won the inaugural championship in 2015. 603 00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:59,030 And until recently, 604 00:33:59,070 --> 00:34:03,710 the EP9 itself held a lap record around the Nurburgring, 605 00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:05,270 with an astonishing time of 606 00:34:05,310 --> 00:34:08,830 6 minutes 45.9 seconds. 607 00:34:11,070 --> 00:34:14,070 Which means it isn't just about going fast 608 00:34:14,110 --> 00:34:15,710 in a straight line. 609 00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:21,870 It has active suspension, active aerodynamics, 610 00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:25,070 torque vectoring - and all of that means only one thing. 611 00:34:30,030 --> 00:34:31,590 Grip, grippity, grip! 612 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:39,870 It has a motor in each of the four wheels 613 00:34:39,910 --> 00:34:42,070 for a four-wheel drive system that can be monitored 614 00:34:42,070 --> 00:34:45,390 and controlled constantly by the car's on-board brain. 615 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:56,430 Add to that, the active aerodynamics on that vast wing 616 00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:59,310 and a diffuser running the length of the car, 617 00:34:59,350 --> 00:35:02,390 it produces more down-force than an F1 car. 618 00:35:06,510 --> 00:35:08,430 Jesus! 619 00:35:08,470 --> 00:35:10,550 It's like driving an octopus. 620 00:35:13,070 --> 00:35:15,870 There's no doubt that as a piece of engineering, 621 00:35:15,910 --> 00:35:18,390 the NIO is deeply impressive. 622 00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:21,710 And into slingshot! 623 00:35:24,950 --> 00:35:27,510 Ha-ha-ha! 624 00:35:27,550 --> 00:35:30,230 But what I love about it most is that, 625 00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:31,990 thanks to its phenomenal grip, 626 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:34,870 I could hammer it round our track all day 627 00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:36,870 and still be the right way up. 628 00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:37,990 And from me... 629 00:35:41,710 --> 00:35:43,590 ...there is no higher compliment. 630 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,590 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 631 00:35:51,670 --> 00:35:54,550 Thanks for sticking me with that. 632 00:35:54,550 --> 00:35:56,510 You know, um... it's interesting. 633 00:35:57,870 --> 00:35:59,830 Watching that has convinced me 634 00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:03,870 that I will never buy an electric car as long as I live. 635 00:36:03,910 --> 00:36:07,310 - Why not? - Because why on Earth 636 00:36:07,350 --> 00:36:09,710 would I want to employ a team of men 637 00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:12,790 and buy a forklift every time I need to go anywhere? 638 00:36:12,830 --> 00:36:14,790 Yeah, that's all very well, but a lot of people 639 00:36:14,830 --> 00:36:16,783 are more enlightened than you, including me, in fact. 640 00:36:16,790 --> 00:36:18,270 - So, Hammond? - Yes? 641 00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:21,710 Tell me, what are the... how does it compare with the Rimac? 642 00:36:21,750 --> 00:36:23,710 - Nobody's interested. - Yes, they are. Shut up. 643 00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:26,550 The NIO, it's just, the NIO is just more of everything. 644 00:36:26,550 --> 00:36:28,870 It's more power, more grip, more speed. 645 00:36:28,910 --> 00:36:31,550 I have to say, that looked painfully fast, that car. 646 00:36:31,550 --> 00:36:34,310 It is. It is astonishingly fast. 647 00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:36,350 But it is a novelty. 648 00:36:36,390 --> 00:36:39,070 An amazing powerfully fast one, but a novelty nevertheless. 649 00:36:39,070 --> 00:36:42,270 And we should make it absolutely clear you can't drive it on the road at all. 650 00:36:42,310 --> 00:36:44,030 - It's not road legal. - No, you can't. 651 00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:46,310 The Rimac, you can, that's what makes it so amazing. 652 00:36:46,350 --> 00:36:48,830 And there's a new Rimac coming out soon 653 00:36:48,870 --> 00:36:52,430 that'll have more than 1900 horsepower. 654 00:36:52,470 --> 00:36:54,463 But imagine the size of the internal combustion engine 655 00:36:54,470 --> 00:36:56,550 you would need to make 1900 horsepower. 656 00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:58,350 - It would be... - It'd be massive. 657 00:36:58,390 --> 00:37:02,790 That's why the future of supercars like that is electric. 658 00:37:02,830 --> 00:37:04,830 - It is. - What? 659 00:37:04,870 --> 00:37:06,990 - It just isn't. - It is. 660 00:37:07,030 --> 00:37:09,390 That's the way it's gonna go. It's the way it is going. 661 00:37:09,430 --> 00:37:12,830 OK, then, let's find out how fast your beloved NIO 662 00:37:12,870 --> 00:37:14,950 goes around the Eboladrome. 663 00:37:16,830 --> 00:37:20,430 And it's off to the sound of the spin cycle. 664 00:37:20,470 --> 00:37:23,830 Jiggling around on its racing car suspension, 665 00:37:23,870 --> 00:37:25,790 as it powers onto the Isn't. 666 00:37:26,870 --> 00:37:29,110 That's exciting. 667 00:37:29,190 --> 00:37:31,550 A lift and then building up speed again. 668 00:37:32,830 --> 00:37:36,030 That is looking pretty brisk. 669 00:37:36,070 --> 00:37:39,550 Right, now down into Your Name Here. 670 00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:42,590 Sparks flashing off the rear diffuser. 671 00:37:42,670 --> 00:37:46,470 Torque vectoring should be doing its stuff round here to keep it in place. 672 00:37:48,390 --> 00:37:50,350 And now back to full voltage 673 00:37:50,390 --> 00:37:53,470 for the frantic whirr back down the Isn't. 674 00:37:53,510 --> 00:37:54,950 Sounding more like a jet fighter 675 00:37:54,990 --> 00:37:56,710 and less like a Zanussi now. 676 00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:02,350 OK, hard braking for Old Lady's House. 677 00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:04,070 More milk floaty noises. 678 00:38:04,070 --> 00:38:08,430 And now the run to Substation. 679 00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:11,030 If it crashes here, there really will be a lot of sparks. 680 00:38:12,310 --> 00:38:14,550 OK, two corners left. 681 00:38:14,590 --> 00:38:17,710 Very tidy through there. Just Field of Sheep to go. 682 00:38:17,750 --> 00:38:20,230 Keeps it neat and across the line. 683 00:38:20,270 --> 00:38:22,390 - That looked good. - She did well there. 684 00:38:22,430 --> 00:38:24,350 - She did do well. - She did well. 685 00:38:25,910 --> 00:38:28,430 So exciting with those noises. 686 00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:31,710 - I like the noises. - What? You can't like those... 687 00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:34,230 - There's a whole new set of noises, you pillock. 688 00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:35,710 - OK. - It's the future. 689 00:38:35,750 --> 00:38:39,230 OK, let's see how fast your elegantly entitled N ten, 690 00:38:39,270 --> 00:38:40,790 - no, NIO... - NIO. 691 00:38:40,830 --> 00:38:42,190 - ...EP9... - Yes. 692 00:38:42,230 --> 00:38:43,710 ...got round, shall we? Here we go. 693 00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:45,710 - Top ten? - Come on. 694 00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:48,750 There you go. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, oh, yes! 695 00:38:48,790 --> 00:38:50,830 Come on. Come on! 696 00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:53,190 - Yeah! - Yeah. 697 00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:54,350 That... 698 00:38:56,230 --> 00:38:58,070 That is faster... 699 00:38:58,110 --> 00:39:00,550 faster than the Aston Martin Vulcan. 700 00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:01,990 You're absolutely right, Hammond. 701 00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:04,030 It is a very impressive car. 702 00:39:04,070 --> 00:39:05,670 And it is faster than a Vulcan. 703 00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:07,510 But it's slower 704 00:39:07,550 --> 00:39:10,190 than the petrol-powered McLaren Senna, 705 00:39:10,230 --> 00:39:11,670 which is road legal. 706 00:39:11,710 --> 00:39:13,830 - One... - Yes. 707 00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:15,590 Electricity: zero! 708 00:39:15,670 --> 00:39:16,910 All right, don't do that face. 709 00:39:16,950 --> 00:39:18,670 Don't do that face! 710 00:39:19,790 --> 00:39:20,990 - No. - Smug face. 711 00:39:21,030 --> 00:39:23,190 Not the smug face. I don't... 712 00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:26,830 James, just move it on, quick. 713 00:39:26,870 --> 00:39:30,070 Yes, in this show we are explaining to the people of China 714 00:39:30,110 --> 00:39:32,270 that they don't need to waste huge sums of money 715 00:39:32,310 --> 00:39:35,190 on new luxury cars when they could buy something used 716 00:39:35,230 --> 00:39:37,310 from Europe for a lot less. 717 00:39:37,350 --> 00:39:39,750 Now so far, we've done city driving. 718 00:39:39,790 --> 00:39:41,390 We've done motorway driving. 719 00:39:41,430 --> 00:39:43,990 And we've done a completely pointless handling test 720 00:39:44,030 --> 00:39:45,710 - that Jeremy devised. - Yep! 721 00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:47,670 And now we had to get to a rally stage 722 00:39:47,710 --> 00:39:49,870 to take part in another test that he dreamt up 723 00:39:49,910 --> 00:39:52,350 whilst enjoying another night on the pneumonia. 724 00:39:53,870 --> 00:39:55,390 Whatever, OK. However, listen, 725 00:39:55,430 --> 00:39:58,270 before we left the test centre where we did the flamethrower - 726 00:39:58,310 --> 00:40:00,070 the flamethrower handling test - 727 00:40:00,110 --> 00:40:04,430 we popped next door to something called the Zunyi Conference centre. 728 00:40:07,590 --> 00:40:11,310 It was on this very spot, in 1935, 729 00:40:11,350 --> 00:40:14,110 that Chairman Mao unveiled the plans 730 00:40:14,190 --> 00:40:16,390 for the future of his country. 731 00:40:18,590 --> 00:40:22,510 This then is the birthplace of Communism in China, 732 00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:26,870 and today it stands as an anti-Capitalist shrine. 733 00:40:30,110 --> 00:40:33,430 Naturally we headed straight for the gift shop. 734 00:40:33,470 --> 00:40:36,070 Oh, that is exquisite. 735 00:40:36,110 --> 00:40:38,590 Yes, I'll definitely have a Chairman Mao snow globe. 736 00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:42,390 That one. 737 00:40:42,430 --> 00:40:43,910 Oh, look. 738 00:40:43,950 --> 00:40:45,990 How much are these? 739 00:40:47,350 --> 00:40:49,990 So that's 230. 740 00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:52,070 It's Donald Trump. 741 00:40:52,110 --> 00:40:54,670 - I'm absolutely starving. - Yeah, me too. 742 00:40:54,710 --> 00:40:57,510 - Oh, that's handy. - That'll do. 743 00:40:57,550 --> 00:41:01,070 Having paid our respects to Communism... 744 00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:05,270 ...we got back on the road in our fire-damaged cars 745 00:41:05,310 --> 00:41:10,390 with James still moaning about his temperature issues. 746 00:41:10,430 --> 00:41:13,390 The air conditioning is now so broken that it's permanently hot, 747 00:41:13,430 --> 00:41:18,070 even when I turn it to low and press every auto button. 748 00:41:18,070 --> 00:41:21,390 I decided there was only one thing I could do about this. 749 00:41:21,430 --> 00:41:22,430 Ignore him. 750 00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:24,750 Jesus! 751 00:41:24,790 --> 00:41:26,470 Look at that. 752 00:41:26,510 --> 00:41:28,270 They're actually building another motorway 753 00:41:28,310 --> 00:41:29,870 with viaducts and tunnels 754 00:41:29,910 --> 00:41:32,750 on the other side of the valley. 755 00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:36,430 You've got one motorway. Why would you need another one over there? 756 00:41:36,470 --> 00:41:39,310 Still, all these motorways did mean we could prove 757 00:41:39,350 --> 00:41:43,670 that our cars work well, as long-distance cruisers. 758 00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:47,670 If you gloss over the slightly worn, 759 00:41:47,710 --> 00:41:50,070 interior trim on this car, 760 00:41:50,070 --> 00:41:52,750 I am staggered at how comfortable it is. 761 00:41:52,790 --> 00:41:55,190 Every inch the Cadillac. 762 00:41:55,230 --> 00:42:00,270 It's fitted with something called continuously variable road-sensing suspension. 763 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:02,110 Or suspension. 764 00:42:03,230 --> 00:42:05,470 And there's more. 765 00:42:05,510 --> 00:42:07,550 In Britain, this car was described as 766 00:42:07,550 --> 00:42:09,550 astonishingly reliable. 767 00:42:09,590 --> 00:42:13,070 Not my words, the words of the RAC. 768 00:42:13,110 --> 00:42:15,270 The Royal Automobile Club. 769 00:42:15,310 --> 00:42:18,590 The Queen herself as good as commended 770 00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:22,470 this car's reliability. 771 00:42:22,510 --> 00:42:24,790 Meanwhile, in the stuck record. 772 00:42:25,950 --> 00:42:28,110 Lovely engine, silky smooth. 773 00:42:28,190 --> 00:42:29,990 Seats are comfortable, 774 00:42:30,030 --> 00:42:32,950 everything works, except the air conditioning. 775 00:42:34,990 --> 00:42:37,070 I'm running out of fuel. 776 00:42:37,110 --> 00:42:40,390 There's... That's happened very suddenly. 777 00:42:40,430 --> 00:42:44,390 Er... This is May, how's everyone doing for fuel? 778 00:42:44,430 --> 00:42:48,110 I have... about a quarter of a tank. 779 00:42:48,190 --> 00:42:53,030 I'm gonna need more fuel. The mighty North Star has drunk it. 780 00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:57,350 Happily, we soon saw signs for a service station. 781 00:42:57,390 --> 00:43:00,670 That's excellent. I was just about to start panicking. 782 00:43:03,390 --> 00:43:04,510 Oh. 783 00:43:06,430 --> 00:43:08,550 Small problem here. 784 00:43:09,590 --> 00:43:11,030 It's not open. 785 00:43:11,070 --> 00:43:13,550 So we drove on to the next one. 786 00:43:14,670 --> 00:43:16,550 Oh, thank God. 787 00:43:18,430 --> 00:43:19,510 Where is it? 788 00:43:21,310 --> 00:43:22,710 Where's the fuel? 789 00:43:23,830 --> 00:43:27,230 Oh, it's not finished. 790 00:43:27,270 --> 00:43:29,550 They could even be fuel tanks waiting to go in. 791 00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:34,030 So, we drove on to the next one. 792 00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:38,190 Please let this one be open. 793 00:43:38,230 --> 00:43:41,350 But that didn't have fuel either. 794 00:43:41,390 --> 00:43:45,550 How much money are they spending on service stations? 795 00:43:45,550 --> 00:43:48,750 Well, a lot, but they're not earning any from them, I can tell you that. 796 00:43:50,830 --> 00:43:55,550 The problem China has is it's building motorways so fast 797 00:43:55,590 --> 00:43:58,590 that the people building the service stations 798 00:43:58,630 --> 00:44:03,030 to supply the motorway with fuel... can't keep up. 799 00:44:03,070 --> 00:44:07,310 Chaps, my fumes are running out now. 800 00:44:07,350 --> 00:44:10,950 After passing two more unfinished service stations, 801 00:44:10,990 --> 00:44:13,350 we finally got lucky. 802 00:44:13,390 --> 00:44:16,190 Oh, thank God. 803 00:44:16,230 --> 00:44:18,350 Ooh, that's a relief. 804 00:44:18,390 --> 00:44:21,790 However, our problems weren't quite over. 805 00:44:24,270 --> 00:44:26,670 I mean, is that petrol or diesel? 806 00:44:26,710 --> 00:44:28,950 What... What's that? 807 00:44:28,990 --> 00:44:32,070 Does green mean petrol or diesel? 808 00:44:33,710 --> 00:44:35,270 Oooh! 809 00:44:37,030 --> 00:44:39,470 - Oh, hello. - How do you know which fuel is which? 810 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:43,270 Well, we've no idea. She just comes. This is what she just did with mine. 811 00:44:43,310 --> 00:44:46,510 - She just put that in and I'm going, "Is it petrol..." 812 00:44:46,550 --> 00:44:50,070 She's putting it in whatever it is. 813 00:44:50,110 --> 00:44:52,270 With the lucky dip fill-up complete, 814 00:44:52,310 --> 00:44:54,670 we were ready to roll. 815 00:44:54,710 --> 00:44:58,310 However, in the RAC-approved Cadillac... 816 00:44:58,350 --> 00:45:01,830 Er... my car won't start. 817 00:45:01,870 --> 00:45:04,430 It's the battery. 818 00:45:04,470 --> 00:45:07,150 Or have you filled it up with Ribena? 819 00:45:08,470 --> 00:45:10,470 As the rest of China was keen 820 00:45:10,510 --> 00:45:13,670 to use this one completed service station, 821 00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:17,630 I had to push Hammond clear of the pumps. 822 00:45:17,670 --> 00:45:22,270 It's not really the message we want to be sending out to... 823 00:45:22,310 --> 00:45:24,630 the people of China, that our cars have broken. 824 00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:27,750 I'm doing manual labour. 825 00:45:27,790 --> 00:45:30,750 I've found the battery. 826 00:45:34,510 --> 00:45:36,470 - Success. - Very good. 827 00:45:36,510 --> 00:45:39,630 Hammond, quite a lot of Chinese people looking. 828 00:45:42,310 --> 00:45:44,550 Well, that's the jump leads test done. 829 00:45:44,590 --> 00:45:46,070 We've done the jump leads test. 830 00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:48,110 If ever we needed them, we can do it. 831 00:45:48,150 --> 00:45:51,310 - Those Chinese-made jump leads were excellent. - Excellent. 832 00:45:51,350 --> 00:45:53,750 Excellent. Not that we needed them. 833 00:45:54,910 --> 00:45:56,590 Back on the road, 834 00:45:56,630 --> 00:46:00,070 I was wondering if the battery wasn't the only issue. 835 00:46:00,110 --> 00:46:03,710 I can't understand the German messages on the dash, 836 00:46:03,750 --> 00:46:07,110 but the engine warning light is on. 837 00:46:07,150 --> 00:46:10,910 I'll be very disappointed if my glorious North Star engine lets go. 838 00:46:13,310 --> 00:46:14,990 It's not going to, it's tough. 839 00:46:16,070 --> 00:46:18,390 It'll be fine. 840 00:46:20,190 --> 00:46:22,030 In fact, we all had issues. 841 00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:26,270 Chief among which was trying to understand the road signs. 842 00:46:27,870 --> 00:46:30,510 Don't "dring" when... What? 843 00:46:30,550 --> 00:46:33,150 Don't "drmng" when tired. "Drmng." 844 00:46:33,190 --> 00:46:36,070 Descent length surplus. 845 00:46:36,110 --> 00:46:38,710 Over-speeding prohibition. 846 00:46:38,750 --> 00:46:40,670 Don't drmng when tired, again. 847 00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:45,030 We've got a lot of don't drmnging when tired. 848 00:46:45,070 --> 00:46:46,870 There was another problem too. 849 00:46:46,910 --> 00:46:49,350 The roads had no drainage. 850 00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:51,670 So, even in a shower... 851 00:46:52,790 --> 00:46:55,030 Look at that. 852 00:46:55,070 --> 00:46:59,110 The cars on the other side are sending fountains of water onto this one. 853 00:47:02,910 --> 00:47:04,150 Whoa. 854 00:47:05,310 --> 00:47:06,390 Aquaplaning. 855 00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,070 Holy moley. 856 00:47:12,110 --> 00:47:15,190 That man's dropped... His crash helmet's actually come off his head. 857 00:47:17,630 --> 00:47:21,470 Still, at least when it got dark, things got worse. 858 00:47:25,990 --> 00:47:29,950 Whoa! Whoa! 859 00:47:29,990 --> 00:47:33,190 They'll give you epilepsy, these cameras. 860 00:47:33,230 --> 00:47:35,230 Constantly being flashed. 861 00:47:39,110 --> 00:47:41,910 After this long and difficult journey, 862 00:47:41,950 --> 00:47:44,750 we reached the overnight halt... 863 00:47:44,790 --> 00:47:49,350 ...where we were hoping to unwind with some relaxing comfort food. 864 00:47:52,550 --> 00:47:54,670 Holy cow, that is hot! 865 00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:58,030 How... Oh, jeez. 866 00:47:58,070 --> 00:47:59,390 Oh... oh... 867 00:47:59,430 --> 00:48:02,390 - What... what... - That's goose intestines. 868 00:48:02,430 --> 00:48:03,950 Goose intest... Do you want some? 869 00:48:03,990 --> 00:48:07,150 I've seen more appetising things than that 870 00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:09,070 stuck to the back of my terrier. 871 00:48:09,110 --> 00:48:11,990 A rub... Ooh! ...rubber hosepipe... 872 00:48:12,030 --> 00:48:14,310 - Nice. - ...coated in napalm. 873 00:48:14,350 --> 00:48:16,590 (BLEEP) hell! 874 00:48:16,630 --> 00:48:20,550 As our mouths melted, I brought up another idea I'd had. 875 00:48:20,590 --> 00:48:25,430 We really should be in the back of these cars, because... 876 00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:28,470 - I agree, yeah. - ...if you're a Chinese businessman 877 00:48:28,510 --> 00:48:31,070 you're not gonna drive a car, a 750IL or a Cadillac, are you? 878 00:48:31,110 --> 00:48:32,670 You're gonna be in the back. 879 00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:34,950 Actually it's more relevant here anyway, isn't it? 880 00:48:34,990 --> 00:48:37,310 - That's what people care about. - It's all they care about. 881 00:48:37,350 --> 00:48:38,990 The rear seat accommodation, leg room. 882 00:48:39,030 --> 00:48:42,790 Now, Jaguar, Audi, Mercedes and BMW 883 00:48:42,830 --> 00:48:44,870 all make long cars 884 00:48:44,910 --> 00:48:48,830 specifically for the Chinese market. 885 00:48:48,870 --> 00:48:51,590 So, look, why don't we... I'm sure we could do this. 886 00:48:51,630 --> 00:48:54,950 Why don't we hire some local chauffeurs to drive our cars 887 00:48:54,990 --> 00:48:57,910 and we'll ride in the back, which is what we should be doing. 888 00:48:57,950 --> 00:49:00,710 - That's a proper place to assess them. - Mm, that is a good idea. 889 00:49:00,750 --> 00:49:04,350 And how's this for taking it one step further? 890 00:49:05,910 --> 00:49:09,710 Why don't we, tonight, modify our cars... 891 00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:12,990 ...to make them more relevant and luxurious 892 00:49:13,030 --> 00:49:15,910 for the Chinese business community? 893 00:49:15,950 --> 00:49:19,110 OK, and while we're at it, 894 00:49:19,150 --> 00:49:23,750 if you two dress less like tramps and more like gentlemen of commerce, 895 00:49:23,790 --> 00:49:27,070 the ladies and gentlemen of China might take us more seriously. 896 00:49:27,110 --> 00:49:28,830 So we've got to get changed? 897 00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:30,310 - Sorry. - Yes. 898 00:49:30,350 --> 00:49:32,870 Sorry, my whole tongue is wrapped up in intestine. 899 00:49:39,150 --> 00:49:41,350 The next morning we reconvened 900 00:49:41,390 --> 00:49:44,230 after buying ourselves some business suits. 901 00:49:51,350 --> 00:49:54,070 We're supposed to be sending out a message that we're important, 902 00:49:54,110 --> 00:49:56,590 and that people should listen to what we have to say. 903 00:49:56,630 --> 00:49:59,230 - Now I've done that. - I think we are doing that well. 904 00:49:59,270 --> 00:50:01,470 No, I am. No, you just look like 905 00:50:01,510 --> 00:50:04,390 you've got a sub-machine gun in a violin case. 906 00:50:04,430 --> 00:50:06,750 - Have you seen James, by the way, this morning? - No. 907 00:50:06,790 --> 00:50:09,190 No, I haven't seen what he's gone for, but let's be honest... 908 00:50:09,230 --> 00:50:10,470 - Brown. - Yes. 909 00:50:10,510 --> 00:50:11,990 It'll be brown. 910 00:50:12,030 --> 00:50:14,470 - Nothing is more certain than brown. - Sombre, severe. 911 00:50:14,510 --> 00:50:17,190 - Yeah. - It's not brown. 912 00:50:17,230 --> 00:50:19,030 That's not... Ohhh! 913 00:50:19,070 --> 00:50:22,230 Good morning, Vietnam! 914 00:50:22,270 --> 00:50:24,430 That is bold. 915 00:50:24,470 --> 00:50:26,910 Now don't pretend you did that on purpose. 916 00:50:26,950 --> 00:50:28,910 - Well, shall I be honest? - Yes. 917 00:50:28,950 --> 00:50:32,790 I ordered it using a translation app I got for my phone. 918 00:50:32,830 --> 00:50:34,590 And you mistook green for grey. 919 00:50:34,630 --> 00:50:36,830 I don't know if I did, or they did, or it doesn't work, 920 00:50:36,870 --> 00:50:39,390 but I said "light, grey", 921 00:50:39,430 --> 00:50:41,430 meaning lightweight, grey. 922 00:50:41,470 --> 00:50:42,870 But I got green. 923 00:50:42,910 --> 00:50:44,470 Yes, and you look ridiculous, 924 00:50:44,510 --> 00:50:47,390 and nobody's going to listen to a word you say. 925 00:50:47,430 --> 00:50:51,470 The fact is, though, we were all suited up. 926 00:50:51,510 --> 00:50:55,590 So it was time to get into the back of our modified cars and get going. 927 00:50:58,670 --> 00:51:01,430 What's that? - That's one of my modifications. 928 00:51:01,470 --> 00:51:03,590 - It's Giovanni. - No, it's Cato. 929 00:51:03,630 --> 00:51:07,150 See, I ask him for something and then he passes it through the ski hatch. 930 00:51:08,590 --> 00:51:11,750 - Absolute genius. - It's barbarous. 931 00:51:11,790 --> 00:51:15,990 Having agreed that my manservant was a brilliant idea, 932 00:51:16,030 --> 00:51:20,590 we introduced ourselves to our chauffeurs and then set off. 933 00:51:27,350 --> 00:51:30,270 My driver is the excellent Mr Hoo. 934 00:51:30,310 --> 00:51:33,070 I wonder if he's a doctor, actually. 935 00:51:33,110 --> 00:51:35,110 Dr Hoo is not a particularly tall man, 936 00:51:35,150 --> 00:51:38,390 but nevertheless, the space in the back of the S Class is fantastic. 937 00:51:38,430 --> 00:51:40,870 I've got all this leg room, I can adjust the seat. 938 00:51:40,910 --> 00:51:42,910 I can recline myself a bit. 939 00:51:42,950 --> 00:51:45,630 I can make myself a bit more upright. It's quite warm. 940 00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:50,350 The air conditioning still doesn't work. I should actually warn Dr Hoo of that. 941 00:51:50,390 --> 00:51:55,070 Doctor, I apologise, the air conditioning is broken. 942 00:51:57,190 --> 00:52:00,790 Doctor, the hair in the college has not been spoken. 943 00:52:02,630 --> 00:52:05,750 Obviously our cars were built before Bluetooth 944 00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:09,190 and internet connectivity had been invented. 945 00:52:09,230 --> 00:52:13,630 But that's OK, because it means you're forced to spend your time in the back, 946 00:52:13,670 --> 00:52:17,230 doing something interesting. 947 00:52:17,270 --> 00:52:22,030 What I'm gonna do, instead of watching CNN drone on about Donald Trump, 948 00:52:22,070 --> 00:52:24,110 or checking on Nasdaq prices... 949 00:52:25,190 --> 00:52:28,230 ...is er... make a model... 950 00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:33,030 a matchstick model of the Eiffel Tower. 951 00:52:33,070 --> 00:52:35,710 My colleagues had also decided to make the back seat 952 00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:38,710 a place of learning and self-enrichment. 953 00:52:40,470 --> 00:52:42,390 I've said many times on this programme 954 00:52:42,430 --> 00:52:45,230 how I can't cook anything other than baked beans, 955 00:52:45,270 --> 00:52:47,590 but I'm gonna use this journey, 956 00:52:47,630 --> 00:52:51,390 together with this simple stove, this wok, and these ingredients, 957 00:52:51,430 --> 00:52:54,350 to put that right and learn how to make supper. 958 00:52:54,390 --> 00:52:59,190 I've got my cookery book here. 959 00:52:59,230 --> 00:53:02,350 Steamed razor clams with black beans and chilli sauce. 960 00:53:04,430 --> 00:53:07,990 I, meanwhile, had decided to try my hand at painting. 961 00:53:09,110 --> 00:53:11,110 Now this is an ideal studio 962 00:53:11,150 --> 00:53:14,910 because I can paint the things that I'm going to see out of the window. 963 00:53:14,950 --> 00:53:19,630 Sort of montage, if you like, of typical roadside sights, 964 00:53:19,670 --> 00:53:22,190 on a chauffeur-journey through China. 965 00:53:24,030 --> 00:53:25,670 Trees... 966 00:53:25,710 --> 00:53:28,470 Trees right here, there. 967 00:53:33,950 --> 00:53:35,870 Lovely, lovely. 968 00:53:38,910 --> 00:53:40,350 Not now, Cato. 969 00:53:40,390 --> 00:53:43,150 I could be sitting here now... 970 00:53:43,190 --> 00:53:46,470 ...answering pointless emails from pointless people 971 00:53:46,510 --> 00:53:48,750 with nothing better to do all day. 972 00:53:48,790 --> 00:53:50,550 Not now, Cato. 973 00:53:50,590 --> 00:53:54,950 But, no... I'm doing something useful, 974 00:53:54,990 --> 00:53:57,790 something joyous, something pleasurable. 975 00:54:01,350 --> 00:54:04,190 Not now, Ca... No, Cato, no, that's inappropriate. 976 00:54:05,310 --> 00:54:07,230 Oh, yeah. 977 00:54:07,270 --> 00:54:08,750 Oh, yeah. 978 00:54:09,950 --> 00:54:13,390 Watercress. Bit of that. 979 00:54:13,430 --> 00:54:16,510 Spend enough time on the motorway in the back of your luxury car 980 00:54:16,550 --> 00:54:19,950 and you could turn yourself into a part-time professional chef. 981 00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:22,590 We could improv... 982 00:54:22,630 --> 00:54:24,110 Oh. 983 00:54:25,430 --> 00:54:27,510 Meanwhile, in the BMW... 984 00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:30,510 Cato, my suit. My suit jacket. 985 00:54:30,550 --> 00:54:32,270 Cato, fire extinguisher. 986 00:54:32,310 --> 00:54:33,830 Cato, now! 987 00:54:33,870 --> 00:54:35,830 Thank you. Yeah. 988 00:54:37,990 --> 00:54:41,070 After a few more mostly fire-free miles, 989 00:54:41,110 --> 00:54:43,830 we pulled over to compare our work. 990 00:54:46,070 --> 00:54:49,030 May we see, James May, what you have achieved, 991 00:54:49,070 --> 00:54:50,910 instead of doing emails? 992 00:54:56,510 --> 00:54:57,710 Well, it's naive. 993 00:54:57,750 --> 00:54:59,230 If I were your mum or dad, 994 00:54:59,270 --> 00:55:00,870 I'd put that on the fridge door 995 00:55:00,910 --> 00:55:02,270 and I'd be very proud of you. 996 00:55:02,310 --> 00:55:04,190 This is going on the wall at home. 997 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:06,470 Can we taste your soup? 998 00:55:06,510 --> 00:55:08,470 Well, you'll have to suck my tie. 999 00:55:08,510 --> 00:55:10,190 That's where it all ended up. 1000 00:55:10,230 --> 00:55:13,150 Were you expanding your mind by setting yourself on fire? 1001 00:55:13,190 --> 00:55:16,350 - Is that all you've done? - No, no, no, no, no, it's matches. 1002 00:55:16,390 --> 00:55:19,990 One snapped and went into my sleeve. 1003 00:55:20,030 --> 00:55:21,710 You've ruined that beautiful suit. 1004 00:55:21,750 --> 00:55:23,543 - I wanna see what you've done. - Let's have a look. 1005 00:55:23,550 --> 00:55:24,750 I'm a bit embarrassed by it. 1006 00:55:24,790 --> 00:55:27,110 Is it... It's a burnt wreck, isn't it? 1007 00:55:27,150 --> 00:55:28,510 It's not my best work. 1008 00:55:28,550 --> 00:55:30,510 This was gonna be your birthday present, 1009 00:55:30,550 --> 00:55:32,670 but now you've said it's crap you're not having it. 1010 00:55:32,710 --> 00:55:35,670 Please don't laugh. 1011 00:55:35,710 --> 00:55:38,310 Oh, right. And you made that, did you? 1012 00:55:38,350 --> 00:55:40,790 - Really? - In the back of your car. 1013 00:55:40,830 --> 00:55:43,590 Yeah, I know, but I... Look... At great cost. 1014 00:55:43,630 --> 00:55:45,550 Yeah. Yeah. 1015 00:55:47,910 --> 00:55:49,430 For the next leg of our journey 1016 00:55:49,470 --> 00:55:52,790 we tried out the modifications we'd made to our cars, 1017 00:55:52,830 --> 00:55:57,950 so they'd suit the world of modern commerce. 1018 00:55:57,990 --> 00:56:01,390 Businessmen always want a flat bed when they're on an aeroplane, 1019 00:56:01,430 --> 00:56:04,830 so why wouldn't you want one if you're in your car? 1020 00:56:04,870 --> 00:56:07,430 Very simple to achieve this. 1021 00:56:07,470 --> 00:56:08,790 Recline the front seat, 1022 00:56:08,830 --> 00:56:11,630 put a mattress on it, duvet, pillow. 1023 00:56:11,670 --> 00:56:15,390 Take off what's left of your jacket and into bed. 1024 00:56:16,910 --> 00:56:18,830 Oh, it's gone dark. That's nice. 1025 00:56:20,710 --> 00:56:24,310 In the Cadillac, Hammond had been a little more ambitious. 1026 00:56:29,550 --> 00:56:33,590 Name me one businessman hotel that doesn't have a gym. 1027 00:56:33,630 --> 00:56:34,990 Exactly. 1028 00:56:35,030 --> 00:56:37,910 They all do, which is why I've fitted my Cadillac 1029 00:56:37,950 --> 00:56:39,750 with this rowing machine. 1030 00:56:39,790 --> 00:56:43,310 So as we drive along, I can get in shape. 1031 00:56:43,350 --> 00:56:45,870 Healthy body means a healthy mind. 1032 00:56:45,910 --> 00:56:48,750 - How's life in your car, Mr Hammond? - It's brilliant, thank you. 1033 00:56:48,790 --> 00:56:52,630 - What about you? - Oh, I'm just nodding off. 1034 00:56:52,670 --> 00:56:55,550 You go in a tunnel, it feels like night, it's lovely. 1035 00:56:55,590 --> 00:56:59,030 Um... Question, though. What's... What's James done? 1036 00:56:59,070 --> 00:57:01,470 I can't see him. 1037 00:57:01,510 --> 00:57:03,590 Bit more on the coals. 1038 00:57:06,630 --> 00:57:09,630 I realise this now looks like an idiotic idea. 1039 00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:10,823 It was already a sauna in my car, 1040 00:57:10,830 --> 00:57:12,550 so I've built a sauna in it. 1041 00:57:12,590 --> 00:57:16,310 But... let's imagine you were in the far north of China. 1042 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,110 Let's imagine it's the winter. 1043 00:57:18,150 --> 00:57:21,590 You can get through from the other side, through that door, 1044 00:57:21,630 --> 00:57:23,430 enjoy a sauna... 1045 00:57:23,470 --> 00:57:24,990 Go back into your car, 1046 00:57:25,030 --> 00:57:26,470 carry on with your oil painting. 1047 00:57:27,670 --> 00:57:29,710 Ohh. Ohh. 1048 00:57:31,430 --> 00:57:34,590 There was, however, one small drawback to my plan. 1049 00:57:34,630 --> 00:57:38,510 My driver couldn't see his mirrors. 1050 00:57:38,550 --> 00:57:42,390 Whoa! Bollocks. 1051 00:57:42,430 --> 00:57:44,430 All right, all right. 1052 00:57:44,470 --> 00:57:48,390 God, Dr Hoo's getting a right strop on. I know, it's steamed up. Hang on. 1053 00:57:48,430 --> 00:57:50,510 - All right, all right, all right. 1054 00:57:52,590 --> 00:57:55,830 Oh, that's so nice. 1055 00:57:56,910 --> 00:57:58,510 Oh, that's lovely. 1056 00:57:59,590 --> 00:58:01,510 That is lovely, lovely, lovely. 1057 00:58:03,030 --> 00:58:04,150 Mm. 1058 00:58:05,950 --> 00:58:08,510 Not... Not yet, Cato. 1059 00:58:15,310 --> 00:58:20,470 The next morning, having proved that all cars need saunas, gyms and beds, 1060 00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:22,430 we sacked our chauffeurs 1061 00:58:22,470 --> 00:58:25,510 and headed for the location of our final challenge. 1062 00:58:29,470 --> 00:58:32,630 However, in the USS Norman Schwarzkopf... 1063 00:58:33,950 --> 00:58:35,870 Geschw Grenze? 1064 00:58:37,150 --> 00:58:38,750 What does that one mean? 1065 00:58:40,590 --> 00:58:42,150 It's not well. 1066 00:58:43,550 --> 00:58:45,190 Oh, that's another... I don't... 1067 00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:47,230 I don't know what that warning says either. 1068 00:58:49,910 --> 00:58:53,150 Oh, God, it's dying. 1069 00:59:03,310 --> 00:59:05,310 Oh, it's losing oil. 1070 00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:12,510 What's happened? 1071 00:59:12,550 --> 00:59:17,030 Loads of warnings came on... and then it lost power. 1072 00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:20,390 I made it to this off-ramp and now it's... it died. 1073 00:59:20,430 --> 00:59:21,550 Oh, dear. 1074 00:59:21,590 --> 00:59:23,630 I'm not sure my jump leads 1075 00:59:23,670 --> 00:59:25,310 are gonna get that going, are they? 1076 00:59:25,350 --> 00:59:26,830 - No. - Oh, look. 1077 00:59:26,870 --> 00:59:29,030 - Oh, dear. That's really gone bang, hasn't it? 1078 00:59:29,070 --> 00:59:32,390 There's oil coming out everywhere. 1079 00:59:32,430 --> 00:59:34,510 Do you know the number for the emergency services? 1080 00:59:35,230 --> 00:59:36,790 No, I don't. 1081 00:59:36,830 --> 00:59:39,030 Do you know how to say, "My Cadillac's broken down"? 1082 00:59:39,070 --> 00:59:41,070 - Do you know what junction you're at? - No. 1083 00:59:41,110 --> 00:59:43,110 - Oh, dear. - No, neither do I. 1084 00:59:43,150 --> 00:59:44,830 - Do you? - No idea, no. 1085 00:59:44,870 --> 00:59:47,070 Come on, we've got a long way to go. 1086 00:59:49,510 --> 00:59:54,310 Leaving the multilingual Brummie to deal with the Chinese breakdown services, 1087 00:59:54,350 --> 00:59:57,870 James and I got back onto what is fast becoming... 1088 00:59:57,910 --> 00:59:59,830 ...the eighth wonder of the world: 1089 01:00:05,230 --> 01:00:07,150 China's road network. 1090 01:00:12,190 --> 01:00:15,950 In 1988, China had no motorways at all. 1091 01:00:15,990 --> 01:00:20,710 And now, 30 years later, it has 84,000 miles of them. 1092 01:00:20,750 --> 01:00:24,070 That's more than any other country in the world. 1093 01:00:35,230 --> 01:00:37,390 And they're only just getting into their stride. 1094 01:00:37,430 --> 01:00:42,710 Since 2011, they've been building 6,000 miles of motorway every year. 1095 01:00:43,790 --> 01:00:46,910 6,000 miles a year! 1096 01:00:46,950 --> 01:00:51,630 It beggars belief and it's not like the terrain is easy. 1097 01:00:51,670 --> 01:00:54,430 Here, though, there ain't no mountain high enough 1098 01:00:54,470 --> 01:00:58,150 and there ain't no valley low enough, to stop them. 1099 01:01:01,310 --> 01:01:02,950 This bridge, for example... 1100 01:01:04,310 --> 01:01:06,870 ...is 34 miles long. 1101 01:01:10,510 --> 01:01:16,310 And then there's this one, the Duge Beipanjiang Bridge. 1102 01:01:16,350 --> 01:01:19,430 You could fit the London Shard underneath it... 1103 01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:22,150 ...twice over. 1104 01:01:31,670 --> 01:01:32,990 I'm telling you. 1105 01:01:34,070 --> 01:01:36,070 In Britain, we're doomed. 1106 01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:37,630 We're doomed. 1107 01:01:39,030 --> 01:01:41,630 We were headed, though, for an old road, 1108 01:01:41,670 --> 01:01:45,990 to test the one thing we hadn't tested so far. 1109 01:01:46,030 --> 01:01:50,830 And here in China, it's the most important thing. 1110 01:01:50,870 --> 01:01:53,270 The thing is, luxury's all very well, but in China, 1111 01:01:53,310 --> 01:01:55,870 driving is a relatively new thing. 1112 01:01:55,910 --> 01:01:58,430 People have only been doing it for 30 years. 1113 01:01:58,470 --> 01:02:02,950 And as is the way with all new things, it should be fun. 1114 01:02:04,710 --> 01:02:06,670 Eventually we... 1115 01:02:06,710 --> 01:02:10,310 Well, two of us, arrived at the location we'd selected. 1116 01:02:15,550 --> 01:02:19,110 It's known as the 24-curve road 1117 01:02:19,150 --> 01:02:25,230 because it has 24 fun-filled curves. 1118 01:02:25,270 --> 01:02:30,190 It was built in 1935 to ferry US military equipment to China. 1119 01:02:32,070 --> 01:02:35,390 And it hasn't really been maintained since. 1120 01:02:35,430 --> 01:02:38,470 So the surface is loose and potholed. 1121 01:02:38,510 --> 01:02:41,150 And it looked like it should be a right laugh. 1122 01:02:43,110 --> 01:02:46,270 This was actually part of the road that led... 1123 01:02:46,310 --> 01:02:50,070 the only road that linked the then capital of China with India and Burma. 1124 01:02:50,110 --> 01:02:51,910 Yeah, well, before that, all the supplies 1125 01:02:51,950 --> 01:02:53,943 that came into China had to be flown over the Himalayas, 1126 01:02:53,950 --> 01:02:55,950 which was incredibly dangerous in the '30s. 1127 01:02:55,990 --> 01:02:58,150 I think the Americans lost something like 400... 1128 01:02:58,190 --> 01:02:59,630 Sorry... Sorry to interrupt, 1129 01:02:59,670 --> 01:03:01,510 have you seen this stupid thing? 1130 01:03:02,950 --> 01:03:05,150 Well, never mind that, look what he's driving. 1131 01:03:05,190 --> 01:03:06,790 What, is that Hammond? 1132 01:03:06,830 --> 01:03:09,150 - I guess the Cadillac's definitely broken, then. 1133 01:03:10,830 --> 01:03:12,150 Nice! 1134 01:03:14,870 --> 01:03:17,390 - Check out my Fulu. - Why have you got that? 1135 01:03:17,430 --> 01:03:20,510 Well I wasn't gonna let you have all the fun, was I? 1136 01:03:20,550 --> 01:03:22,550 Never mind that, why have you got it? 1137 01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:27,030 My telephone translation device at the toll booth worked to a degree, 1138 01:03:27,070 --> 01:03:28,510 to this extent. 1139 01:03:28,550 --> 01:03:30,390 What you... Somebody got you a car? 1140 01:03:30,430 --> 01:03:31,950 Look, I got wheels, three of them. 1141 01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:35,630 - What engine's it got? - 588cc twin-cylinder two-stroke. 1142 01:03:35,670 --> 01:03:36,950 It's in the back. 1143 01:03:38,030 --> 01:03:39,790 Ah, look at that. 1144 01:03:39,830 --> 01:03:42,230 It's actually smaller than its own air filter. 1145 01:03:42,270 --> 01:03:45,470 I was gonna say, my alternator's bigger than that in the Mercedes. 1146 01:03:45,510 --> 01:03:47,510 Anyway, listen. Here's what we're doing. 1147 01:03:47,550 --> 01:03:50,270 - Yeah. - It's a test of speed. 1148 01:03:50,310 --> 01:03:52,950 Cos we are against the clock, bear that in mind, OK? 1149 01:03:52,990 --> 01:03:54,870 And durability, at the same time. 1150 01:03:54,910 --> 01:03:56,910 So you've got to get up this road, 1151 01:03:56,950 --> 01:03:58,750 which goes all the way up there, 1152 01:03:58,790 --> 01:04:00,350 as fast as possible, 1153 01:04:00,390 --> 01:04:03,350 and keep your car in one piece in the process. 1154 01:04:05,270 --> 01:04:07,150 Richard and I decided that James 1155 01:04:07,190 --> 01:04:09,110 should volunteer to go first. 1156 01:04:10,470 --> 01:04:12,150 Oh. 1157 01:04:12,190 --> 01:04:15,030 Oh, you look exactly like a racing driver, apart from visually. 1158 01:04:15,070 --> 01:04:16,910 It's a racing clown. 1159 01:04:16,950 --> 01:04:19,510 Can we just get on with it? It's very hot in here. 1160 01:04:19,550 --> 01:04:21,223 Going with your window down or up? Lot of stones. 1161 01:04:21,230 --> 01:04:22,470 Down? 1162 01:04:22,510 --> 01:04:24,310 It's a small risk from being hit by a stone. 1163 01:04:24,350 --> 01:04:26,790 It's a large risk of dying from suffocation. 1164 01:04:26,830 --> 01:04:29,270 Right. Anything else we wanna say to him? 1165 01:04:29,310 --> 01:04:30,790 Yes. "Go." 1166 01:04:30,830 --> 01:04:32,303 Just take some time and prepare mentally, 1167 01:04:32,310 --> 01:04:34,150 and really think about this. 1168 01:04:34,190 --> 01:04:36,070 - Have you visualised the course? - No. 1169 01:04:36,110 --> 01:04:38,590 OK. 1170 01:04:38,630 --> 01:04:40,870 - He looks quite cross. - He does, yeah. 1171 01:04:40,910 --> 01:04:42,910 - Three, two, one, go! - There you go. 1172 01:04:42,950 --> 01:04:44,390 Push. 1173 01:04:47,030 --> 01:04:48,430 Oh, God, I can't... 1174 01:04:48,470 --> 01:04:51,270 I can't see round right-hand bends because of my sauna. 1175 01:04:54,590 --> 01:04:56,470 Whoa! 1176 01:04:56,510 --> 01:04:59,830 Massive hole there. 1177 01:04:59,870 --> 01:05:01,583 I've just realised that I've only been comfortable 1178 01:05:01,590 --> 01:05:03,950 for 20 minutes of this entire trip. 1179 01:05:03,990 --> 01:05:06,950 My car's been too hot, my suit's too hot, 1180 01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:08,750 now the road's too rough. 1181 01:05:15,830 --> 01:05:18,630 Bit of squirrelling there from the broken traction control. 1182 01:05:24,230 --> 01:05:26,070 The finish line! 1183 01:05:26,110 --> 01:05:27,190 I've done it! 1184 01:05:30,990 --> 01:05:34,390 Next, it was my turn. 1185 01:05:34,430 --> 01:05:39,230 Right, I'm attaching the wobbly-headed symbol of Capitalism here, 1186 01:05:39,270 --> 01:05:41,790 to bring me good fortune on this perilous test. 1187 01:05:43,150 --> 01:05:44,910 - If you're ready. - Yes. 1188 01:05:44,950 --> 01:05:47,870 Five, four, three... 1189 01:05:49,070 --> 01:05:51,070 ...two, one. 1190 01:05:51,110 --> 01:05:52,790 Go! 1191 01:06:00,510 --> 01:06:03,270 Now, I'm guessing James May will have gone for caution. 1192 01:06:03,310 --> 01:06:05,030 I'm not going to. 1193 01:06:06,430 --> 01:06:08,350 Cos I'm going for speed and power. 1194 01:06:09,910 --> 01:06:12,950 And then just trust in the BMW build quality. 1195 01:06:16,230 --> 01:06:18,910 My wobbly-headed symbol of Capitalism is wilting. 1196 01:06:20,150 --> 01:06:22,150 It's not... Arrrgh! 1197 01:06:22,190 --> 01:06:24,790 Jesus, that was a big tail slide there! 1198 01:06:25,870 --> 01:06:27,430 Oh, yeah. 1199 01:06:28,830 --> 01:06:31,510 Stick it in here. Oh, yes. 1200 01:06:34,510 --> 01:06:36,430 Oh, what's happened? 1201 01:06:49,630 --> 01:06:51,150 Yeah. 1202 01:06:52,870 --> 01:06:54,630 - You overdid it, didn't you? - Yeah. 1203 01:06:54,670 --> 01:06:57,150 So I've won that. 1204 01:06:57,190 --> 01:06:59,190 Well, we don't know. We haven't got your time yet. 1205 01:06:59,230 --> 01:07:03,310 You said - your words: "Test of durability and is against the clock." 1206 01:07:03,350 --> 01:07:05,350 Your car is broken. 1207 01:07:05,390 --> 01:07:08,830 - It's not broken, a tyre's come off. - It's broken. 1208 01:07:08,870 --> 01:07:10,710 Down at the start line, 1209 01:07:10,750 --> 01:07:12,630 I was waiting for the signal to go. 1210 01:07:14,590 --> 01:07:17,150 Hm. Little cubby hole. 1211 01:07:17,190 --> 01:07:18,910 Richard Hammond. 1212 01:07:20,070 --> 01:07:22,710 Hello, yes. 1213 01:07:22,750 --> 01:07:25,150 - Three, two, one, go! - Oh, come on, I'm not... 1214 01:07:25,190 --> 01:07:26,990 Right, OK, here I go. 1215 01:07:28,630 --> 01:07:30,190 And we're off. 1216 01:07:30,230 --> 01:07:31,950 Oh, Christ! Oh. 1217 01:07:33,950 --> 01:07:35,430 I am limited on power. 1218 01:07:37,510 --> 01:07:39,430 Top speed: 39 miles an hour. 1219 01:07:39,470 --> 01:07:41,750 Ow, ow! 1220 01:07:41,790 --> 01:07:44,510 We're never gonna get an air ambulance in here, are we? 1221 01:07:44,550 --> 01:07:46,470 Well, he might have a very long winch. 1222 01:07:52,270 --> 01:07:53,750 Ohhh! 1223 01:07:53,790 --> 01:07:55,590 Big drops, I don't like that. Ow! 1224 01:07:55,630 --> 01:07:57,990 Nervous of hill climbs these days. 1225 01:08:01,350 --> 01:08:02,470 Agh, oh. 1226 01:08:03,550 --> 01:08:05,550 A line, use my line. 1227 01:08:05,590 --> 01:08:07,230 Ow. 1228 01:08:07,270 --> 01:08:08,390 Oh, my God! 1229 01:08:09,470 --> 01:08:10,990 Oh, dear! 1230 01:08:11,030 --> 01:08:12,710 Oh, God! 1231 01:08:20,790 --> 01:08:22,870 - Did anyone s... - Was that... 1232 01:08:22,910 --> 01:08:26,670 - Did he just crash it? - Was that a crash or did he just disappear behind the... 1233 01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:28,630 He has, look, he's gone off there. 1234 01:08:30,910 --> 01:08:32,310 Er... so there we are, 1235 01:08:32,350 --> 01:08:36,790 I'm afraid that Richard Hammond's luck has finally run out. 1236 01:08:36,830 --> 01:08:39,630 And it's with deep regret, and great sadness, 1237 01:08:39,670 --> 01:08:43,510 that James and I must now announce the untimely demise of... 1238 01:08:43,550 --> 01:08:45,470 I'm all right. 1239 01:08:47,270 --> 01:08:49,270 - Not again. - How's he do it? 1240 01:08:49,310 --> 01:08:51,310 I don't know. 1241 01:08:51,350 --> 01:08:52,950 Well, on that terrible disappointment, 1242 01:08:52,990 --> 01:08:54,670 back to the tent. 1243 01:08:57,710 --> 01:09:02,510 - Look at my face. - I'm OK. I'm OK. 1244 01:09:02,550 --> 01:09:03,950 - Smug face. - I'm fine. 1245 01:09:05,470 --> 01:09:07,350 - Don't worry. - Smug. 1246 01:09:08,590 --> 01:09:10,990 Smug because I won that. 1247 01:09:11,030 --> 01:09:13,710 - No, you didn't. - I did, I was the fastest. 1248 01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:18,470 And it was supposed to be a test of fun and you moaned the entire way up the hill. 1249 01:09:18,510 --> 01:09:22,070 It was a test of durability. You had to change a wheel and where's the fun in that? 1250 01:09:22,110 --> 01:09:24,830 Well, I wasn't the idiot that put a sauna in my car. 1251 01:09:24,870 --> 01:09:26,270 What's wrong with a sauna? 1252 01:09:26,310 --> 01:09:28,710 Because in every hotel that's got a sauna, 1253 01:09:28,750 --> 01:09:31,670 the corridors are always full of wet idiots 1254 01:09:31,710 --> 01:09:33,550 with those slippers that don't fit. 1255 01:09:33,590 --> 01:09:35,470 - Hello? Hello? - What? 1256 01:09:35,510 --> 01:09:38,910 I did have quite a big crash at the end there. I thought... 1257 01:09:38,950 --> 01:09:40,743 There's nothing particularly remarkable about that, is there? 1258 01:09:40,750 --> 01:09:41,950 I mean, why would you... 1259 01:09:41,990 --> 01:09:43,910 The fact is, the reason you crashed... 1260 01:09:43,950 --> 01:09:45,910 Well, obviously you're incompetent. 1261 01:09:45,950 --> 01:09:51,590 But also because your Cadillac broke down and your Mercedes was too humid. 1262 01:09:51,630 --> 01:09:54,630 So that means the winner is definitely, of the whole thing, 1263 01:09:54,670 --> 01:09:57,350 the BMW 750i. 1264 01:09:57,430 --> 01:09:59,270 - What? - Actually, no. 1265 01:09:59,310 --> 01:10:02,710 To be fair, the real winner of the whole thing was our brilliant idea 1266 01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:05,630 to sell second-hand limos to the Chinese. 1267 01:10:05,670 --> 01:10:07,190 No, he's absolutely right about that, 1268 01:10:07,230 --> 01:10:08,870 because it makes them happy 1269 01:10:08,910 --> 01:10:11,030 and it helps us with our balance of payments. 1270 01:10:11,070 --> 01:10:13,070 - Everybody wins. - It was a good idea. 1271 01:10:13,110 --> 01:10:15,110 - Yes. - Except for one tiny detail. 1272 01:10:15,150 --> 01:10:20,190 You see, this programme is shown in every single country in the world. 1273 01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:21,710 Except one. 1274 01:10:24,350 --> 01:10:25,990 - Which one? - China. 1275 01:10:26,030 --> 01:10:27,590 Ah. 1276 01:10:27,630 --> 01:10:30,990 So this entire show has been a total waste of time. 1277 01:10:31,030 --> 01:10:35,110 It's an hour of your life you'll never get back. 1278 01:10:35,150 --> 01:10:37,230 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. 1279 01:10:37,270 --> 01:10:39,950 Next week, I'm happy to say, we're back in the groove. 1280 01:10:39,990 --> 01:10:43,310 We're in Scotland and I get an Alfa Romeo GTV6, make me very happy. 1281 01:10:43,350 --> 01:10:45,230 See you then, take care. Good night. 1282 01:10:45,230 --> 01:10:47,190 Good night.