1 00:00:20,573 --> 00:00:22,583 You're not Great, are you? 2 00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:26,619 - What? - Peter the Great. Not you. 3 00:00:26,621 --> 00:00:28,621 No. That's my father. 4 00:00:28,623 --> 00:00:29,873 I'm Peter the-- 5 00:00:31,835 --> 00:00:33,285 Could we be silent? 6 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,964 I'm trying to concentrate, and it's already hard enough when there's a bee. 7 00:00:35,964 --> 00:00:37,554 I was once stung in the eye, and it really hurt, 8 00:00:37,549 --> 00:00:38,589 so I find them quite unnerving. 9 00:00:38,591 --> 00:00:40,721 - Of course. - Thank you. 10 00:00:58,069 --> 00:01:00,279 - Empress. - Emperor. 11 00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:05,581 Marial. A bath. 12 00:01:13,126 --> 00:01:15,086 - Huzzah'. - Fuck off. I'm in a mood. 13 00:01:15,086 --> 00:01:16,796 Oh, let me guess. A bad mood? 14 00:01:16,796 --> 00:01:19,916 - To repeat myself, fuck off. - Charming. 15 00:01:19,924 --> 00:01:21,934 You are the Emperor of Russia. 16 00:01:21,926 --> 00:01:24,216 Lord of all you survey. 17 00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:27,720 - That's true. - So... don't be so fucking mournful. 18 00:01:28,516 --> 00:01:31,136 Oh, you're right. She cannot make me mournful. 19 00:01:31,144 --> 00:01:34,154 So I say again, huzzah'. 20 00:01:34,147 --> 00:01:35,687 Huzzah. Thank you, my friend. 21 00:01:43,031 --> 00:01:44,701 Hmm. 22 00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:05,850 Ah'. 23 00:02:06,971 --> 00:02:08,061 Aah. 24 00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:20,693 - Louder'. 25 00:02:20,693 --> 00:02:23,783 - Louder'. Sing louder, you fuckers'. 26 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:38,086 Exactly. That's exactly my point. 27 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:52,929 I've been thinking. We must begin the planning sooner rather than later. 28 00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:54,524 That bad, huh? 29 00:02:54,519 --> 00:02:57,399 Mm, more dull than horrific. 30 00:02:57,397 --> 00:03:00,607 But Russia must be saved. And I with it. 31 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,322 How is the question. 32 00:03:04,028 --> 00:03:07,448 I've never done a coup before. So I'm unsure how to proceed. 33 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:10,788 Well, I would suggest, next time he is rutting on you, 34 00:03:10,785 --> 00:03:14,115 take a knife, plunge it into his neck. 35 00:03:14,122 --> 00:03:15,332 And face. 36 00:03:15,331 --> 00:03:16,961 You're all hot blood, aren't you? 37 00:03:16,958 --> 00:03:18,288 Thank you. 38 00:03:18,293 --> 00:03:20,173 You just need someone who will kill him. 39 00:03:20,169 --> 00:03:23,509 - Why would they do that? - Because they hate him. 40 00:03:23,506 --> 00:03:25,466 And yet that has not been enough to make it happen. 41 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,386 - True. - They need a reason for it. 42 00:03:28,386 --> 00:03:33,766 Besides, I do not seek to kill for hatred, but to create a greater Russia. 43 00:03:33,766 --> 00:03:36,636 A progressive and humane place. 44 00:03:36,644 --> 00:03:40,154 Oh, okay... Right. 45 00:03:40,148 --> 00:03:42,278 That's good. 46 00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:45,525 We need a philosophical backbone that people can gather behind. 47 00:03:45,528 --> 00:03:46,858 Believe in. 48 00:03:47,697 --> 00:03:49,697 I will need help to develop that. 49 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:54,661 For while I am brilliant, it must be tested and impregnable. 50 00:03:54,662 --> 00:03:57,082 Orlo is the man to help me. 51 00:03:58,207 --> 00:04:00,707 - What? Are you mad? - I am brilliant, 52 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:03,420 which has often been misconstrued as mad. 53 00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:06,721 - Orlo is one of Peter's inner circle. - Not in his heart. 54 00:04:06,716 --> 00:04:10,846 For when he speaks of Descartes, he lit from within. 55 00:04:10,845 --> 00:04:12,845 That is the truth of him. 56 00:04:12,847 --> 00:04:17,387 He is a player who has survived ten years. That is not easy. 57 00:04:17,393 --> 00:04:19,563 He is a bumbler with women, but not with politics. 58 00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:22,822 So, he is a savvy, to boot. Bonus for us. 59 00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:24,935 Let us go find him. My robe? 60 00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:35,043 Empress, it is a dangerous game, you realize. 61 00:04:35,036 --> 00:04:36,196 Of course I do. 62 00:04:39,207 --> 00:04:40,287 How so? 63 00:04:40,291 --> 00:04:45,421 If Peter were to discover you plotting, you would be good as dead. 64 00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:47,921 I am as good as dead here. 65 00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:51,085 So I have nothing to lose. 66 00:04:51,094 --> 00:04:53,764 Forty-one, Count Smolny. 67 00:04:58,685 --> 00:05:00,475 A small thing, Emperor. 68 00:05:00,478 --> 00:05:01,728 I would like the take the land 69 00:05:01,729 --> 00:05:04,359 of my recently widowed sister-in-law and nephews. 70 00:05:04,357 --> 00:05:06,317 Oh, that's sad. How did Orlovsky die? 71 00:05:06,317 --> 00:05:08,397 A sword was found in his back. 72 00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,776 Though it's unclear how it got there. 73 00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:14,331 - Hmm. - I agree with Count Smolny, 74 00:05:14,325 --> 00:05:18,245 and perhaps some of the lands he takes could be tithed to the church. 75 00:05:18,246 --> 00:05:23,836 A small percentage. Say, 15, laid before our Lord God's feet. 76 00:05:23,835 --> 00:05:25,915 So much is laid at the church's feet, 77 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,300 I sometimes fear they cannot see the congregation 78 00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:30,877 for the dazzling riches they stack before them. 79 00:05:30,883 --> 00:05:33,093 Funny, Orlo. You greedy fuck, Archie'. 80 00:05:33,094 --> 00:05:35,764 And if we allow this, swords might start appearing 81 00:05:35,763 --> 00:05:37,723 in brothers' backs all over Russia, 82 00:05:37,724 --> 00:05:40,484 causing great tension at family gatherings and parties. 83 00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:42,726 Good one, Orlo. Let's not ruin the parties. 84 00:05:42,729 --> 00:05:44,359 Emperor. 85 00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:49,693 - This is so dull. 86 00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:52,164 Velementov, do a funny little dance to amuse me. 87 00:05:52,155 --> 00:05:56,615 Sir, I am... leader of the armed forces. 88 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,947 - I do not do a funny little dance. - Arkady? 89 00:05:58,953 --> 00:06:00,163 Stab Velementov in the face. 90 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:15,640 Uh, uh, 42. Uh, Count Rostov. 91 00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,101 Rostov. 92 00:06:21,142 --> 00:06:23,982 I bring you the peaches you love, Emperor, 93 00:06:23,978 --> 00:06:26,648 and the love of the people of my region. 94 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,777 What the fuck, Rostov? 95 00:06:28,775 --> 00:06:31,145 Why do you still wear a beard? 96 00:06:31,152 --> 00:06:34,032 It is why I come before you today. 97 00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:36,530 I would like special dispensation to wear one. 98 00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:38,412 And I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 99 00:06:39,368 --> 00:06:42,248 Gentlemen, I said I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 100 00:06:44,165 --> 00:06:46,995 Orlo, explain my fucking edict while I eat this peach. 101 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:51,011 Dispensation on beards is for the guards and the priests only. 102 00:06:51,005 --> 00:06:54,045 Oh, fuck me, that's a good peach. It's fragrant, sweet. 103 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:57,470 There's a slight lemon to it. Jesus, Rostov. Look at you. 104 00:06:58,012 --> 00:07:02,352 I am a modern ruler, making things happen in a modern, European way. 105 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,350 No beards. 106 00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:05,687 Sir. 107 00:07:06,854 --> 00:07:08,064 I beg you. 108 00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:10,324 Well, you are not on your knees, so you don't. 109 00:07:13,486 --> 00:07:16,816 Get up. Fuck off. And come back with a shaved face. 110 00:07:18,866 --> 00:07:21,036 We should, uh, hear Rostov out. 111 00:07:21,035 --> 00:07:25,285 It is the custom that aristocrats make requests of their emperor. 112 00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:29,089 Oh, I agree. For I would love to know why a man comes before you 113 00:07:29,085 --> 00:07:30,665 with a beard that says, "Fuck you." 114 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,880 Is that what your beard says, Rostov? 115 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,630 Uh, Grigor, I do not believe he is saying that. 116 00:07:34,632 --> 00:07:36,762 - Metaphorically. What else? - No'. 117 00:07:37,552 --> 00:07:41,762 My wife has never seen my face. 118 00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:45,889 And it is unfortunate. 119 00:07:45,893 --> 00:07:48,273 Unfortunate how? 120 00:07:48,938 --> 00:07:53,068 It is a mix of boils and pustules. 121 00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:55,486 Scarring. 122 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,778 I fear she will not... 123 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,790 ...want me. Not be happy with me. 124 00:08:04,787 --> 00:08:08,207 So your wife will not be happy, but I will, and that's all that matters. 125 00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:10,917 A man's wife's happiness should not be so fucking important. 126 00:08:10,918 --> 00:08:13,128 Shave it off and return to me tomorrow. 127 00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:19,295 - Rostov. - Orlo. 128 00:08:19,302 --> 00:08:22,892 Taxes may be slow from my region this month. 129 00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:25,099 And every peach will be bruised. 130 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:30,269 Our family hold the region together. I thought he'd have some compassion. 131 00:08:30,271 --> 00:08:32,521 Delusional optimism, Rostov. 132 00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:35,606 But I believe we can win this. 133 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:38,070 - How? - Peter is often swayed 134 00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:40,780 if the whole group is against something. 135 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:44,161 Let me gather numbers, and then tomorrow we will bring you to him. 136 00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,257 Hmm. 137 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:03,970 I cannot see him. 138 00:09:03,971 --> 00:09:06,271 Empress, you look radiant. 139 00:09:06,265 --> 00:09:08,055 We would love for you to join us. 140 00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:10,139 We have cakes in the shape of woodland animals, 141 00:09:10,144 --> 00:09:13,864 and it is a lark to dunk their faces in vodka and eat them. 142 00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:17,936 It sounds interminable, Lady Svenska. So I shall pass. 143 00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:20,154 If you would move. 144 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,710 Well, I will be the first to say what we are all thinking. 145 00:09:31,707 --> 00:09:34,917 She is a bitch who sides with a serf. 146 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:37,299 - Who's stuck-up and rude. - She is a great disappointment. 147 00:09:37,296 --> 00:09:41,046 She is new, and we must try harder. 148 00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:45,100 For we must make her happy to make the emperor happy. 149 00:09:45,096 --> 00:09:48,136 I thought you take care of his happiness, Madam Dymov. 150 00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,477 Grigor, a moment. 151 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,400 - I'm leaving, Orlo. - But Count Rostov's beard. 152 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:01,320 I want him to keep it. It's a question of free will. 153 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,200 - You can help me convince Peter. - I can't help you, Orlo. 154 00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:07,078 We live at the emperor's whim. People should accept that. 155 00:10:07,076 --> 00:10:09,366 Shut the fuck up, and have a drink. 156 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:14,580 I thought if anyone would like the idea of free will taking hold, it would be you. 157 00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,423 And Madam Dymov. 158 00:10:17,378 --> 00:10:21,128 I shall refrain from punching you in the face for the next 12 seconds. 159 00:10:21,132 --> 00:10:23,512 - You should walk on. - You know... 160 00:10:28,931 --> 00:10:30,561 Fabulous party, isn't it? 161 00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:35,228 - It is a happy court, it seems. - All is bliss in the court of Peter. 162 00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:39,234 Do I detect a slight jest in your voice? 163 00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:42,323 I ate a radish. It can affect the vocal cords. 164 00:10:44,238 --> 00:10:45,568 Empress. 165 00:10:45,573 --> 00:10:47,583 Darling. Are you drunk yet? 166 00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:50,325 Um, not yet. Despite strenuous efforts. 167 00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:53,788 In fact, I thought I might retire to our apartment. 168 00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:56,959 Then I go with you. 169 00:11:01,255 --> 00:11:02,715 Orlo. 170 00:11:02,715 --> 00:11:07,085 I have a pamphlet by Voltaire I would love to share with you. 171 00:11:07,094 --> 00:11:09,184 Mm. Thank you. 172 00:11:09,889 --> 00:11:13,229 I am learning much of the kingdom, dear Orlo. 173 00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:16,805 It has come to my attention the emperor is not Peter the Great. 174 00:11:16,812 --> 00:11:20,022 That was his father. A great man. 175 00:11:20,649 --> 00:11:23,649 - What is this Peter's flourish? - He does not have one. 176 00:11:23,652 --> 00:11:25,282 Hmm. 177 00:11:26,072 --> 00:11:29,202 Peter the... not quite adequate? 178 00:11:31,577 --> 00:11:33,657 I think you already thought of this jest. 179 00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:36,043 I don't know what you mean. 180 00:11:46,509 --> 00:11:49,429 I am sure. Set a meet. 181 00:11:51,639 --> 00:11:54,099 - Here we are. 182 00:12:34,682 --> 00:12:36,022 Velementov. 183 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,769 - Velementov. 184 00:12:39,353 --> 00:12:41,113 Oh. Orlo. 185 00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:46,028 Oh, God. Oh, God, my fucking head. 186 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,736 You all right? You look even more nervy than usual. 187 00:12:48,737 --> 00:12:51,567 I'm fine. I must talk of Rostov. 188 00:12:51,574 --> 00:12:54,204 We must work on Peter to keep his beard. 189 00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:59,211 What the fuck do I care about his beard? Men are dying in the field. 190 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,496 A beard is not my concern. 191 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,380 Ah, the day is unstable, for lack of-- 192 00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:10,514 Ah, yes. I remember now. 193 00:13:11,010 --> 00:13:12,470 I'm drunk as... 194 00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:16,676 No beards was always a stupid idea. 195 00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:19,392 And might I remind you, it was your idea. 196 00:13:19,393 --> 00:13:24,323 It is stupid. But it is a modern European court idea, and Peter allowed it, 197 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:27,605 which allows us to present more modern European ideas, 198 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:29,490 and perhaps one day, a meaningful one. 199 00:13:29,487 --> 00:13:32,277 Always playing the long game, Orlo. 200 00:13:32,281 --> 00:13:37,241 I, however, have some short-term debts 201 00:13:37,244 --> 00:13:39,374 the treasury might see to. 202 00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:41,501 You've said no before, but, uh, 203 00:13:41,499 --> 00:13:44,839 perhaps your beard is important to you. 204 00:13:44,835 --> 00:13:48,455 - Prick. - I know a "yes" when I hear one. 205 00:13:56,222 --> 00:13:59,232 - Oh, no'. No, my darlings, no'. 206 00:13:59,225 --> 00:14:00,385 - Hello. - Oh'. 207 00:14:00,392 --> 00:14:03,272 - Problem? - I'm training them. 208 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:06,190 - The butterflies? - What if I could get them to align, 209 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:11,200 and fly in forms of my own choosing? How wonderful that would be. 210 00:14:11,195 --> 00:14:12,605 And how is that working out? 211 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,200 I admire their willfulness. 212 00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:16,739 Quite. 213 00:14:16,742 --> 00:14:19,622 Now you, my dearest nephew. 214 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:22,870 I was noticing the unhappy nature of your bride. 215 00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:25,133 Dark clouds have covered the sun. 216 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,495 Well, fuck her. She has everything. 217 00:14:27,503 --> 00:14:29,923 She is unhappy. It is spoken of at court. 218 00:14:29,922 --> 00:14:32,552 Unhappiness in a court can be contagious. 219 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,640 You must clear the clouds. 220 00:14:34,635 --> 00:14:36,845 She must clear the fucking clouds. 221 00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:37,845 I'm the emperor. 222 00:14:38,806 --> 00:14:42,476 As you know, my taste in love runs wild and free, 223 00:14:42,476 --> 00:14:46,556 but I know I cannot make a heart sing just because I am the emperor's family. 224 00:14:46,564 --> 00:14:50,154 That does not get a man hard, or a woman wet. 225 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,150 You must capture their heart. 226 00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:55,322 It is her job to make me happy. 227 00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:57,072 She does not love me. 228 00:14:57,074 --> 00:15:00,044 Everyone else does, so the fault lies with her. 229 00:15:01,745 --> 00:15:03,785 Your mother once confided in me 230 00:15:03,789 --> 00:15:06,919 that she saw something within you that made her heart curdle. 231 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,548 - What? - She insisted that 232 00:15:09,545 --> 00:15:13,665 there was something quite... rancid about you. 233 00:15:13,674 --> 00:15:16,344 What is the point of this conversation? 234 00:15:16,343 --> 00:15:18,683 Well, I wonder whether Catherine has seen the same thing, 235 00:15:18,679 --> 00:15:20,679 and it is stopping her from loving you. 236 00:15:24,935 --> 00:15:29,685 - I punched her. - Oh. Some enjoy that. 237 00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:31,690 But perhaps she does not. 238 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:35,072 Regardless, you must do something about it. 239 00:15:37,323 --> 00:15:39,203 Oh, hello. 240 00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:59,008 - What are they? - Just some notes. 241 00:15:59,011 --> 00:16:03,271 This is on the basic principles for the new government. Some ideals. 242 00:16:03,265 --> 00:16:06,385 The question of citizens' rights we must discuss. 243 00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:11,231 I must excite his mind to the possibilities that we can build together. 244 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,191 And then you'll fuck him. Right? 245 00:16:14,610 --> 00:16:15,940 What? 246 00:16:16,737 --> 00:16:19,317 He needs to be cunt-struck by you. 247 00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:24,793 You must fuck him, and then he will set his face on fire if you ask it. 248 00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:28,248 - Seduce him. - Seduce him. 249 00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:30,826 I have never done that. 250 00:16:38,342 --> 00:16:40,552 It's easy. You just lie back. 251 00:16:40,552 --> 00:16:43,392 Expose some flesh. Be suggestive, but not explicit. 252 00:16:44,765 --> 00:16:47,845 - Go on. - Touch him casually about his person. 253 00:16:48,435 --> 00:16:50,015 And be loose. 254 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,480 Maybe a breast falls from your blouse. 255 00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:54,441 And then he will be on you. 256 00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:56,857 On me. 257 00:16:56,860 --> 00:17:00,410 - Okay. - And then after he has done you, 258 00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:03,406 profess love, union, stars in alignment, 259 00:17:03,409 --> 00:17:06,199 fate, philosophy, shed some tears of unhappiness, 260 00:17:06,203 --> 00:17:09,423 and then talk knives in necks. 261 00:17:09,415 --> 00:17:12,035 And eat an oyster. Helps your mood. 262 00:17:29,643 --> 00:17:31,653 - Enter. 263 00:17:33,355 --> 00:17:35,855 Dear Orlo. 264 00:17:36,775 --> 00:17:39,985 - Thank you for coming. - It is my pleasure. 265 00:17:40,487 --> 00:17:42,737 I have the Voltaire pamphlet. 266 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:48,160 Giving me gifts, alone, in a secluded cottage. 267 00:17:48,829 --> 00:17:51,669 It is completely inappropriate, you know. 268 00:17:51,665 --> 00:17:55,335 Shit. Sorry. Um, should we go to the, um, 269 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,415 uh, library or the, the garden-- 270 00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,631 It is thrilling to break the rules, is it not? 271 00:18:01,592 --> 00:18:05,142 I can't wait to confess and see Archie's face. 272 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:08,427 He put his fingers inside me. 273 00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:13,352 Oh. Okay, um, that's not good, is it? 274 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,523 Sorry. 275 00:18:15,522 --> 00:18:17,862 Let's not-- I don't-- 276 00:18:17,858 --> 00:18:20,778 That's not why we're here. 277 00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:23,279 You have caught my eye. 278 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,160 Oh. Thank you. I am flattered. 279 00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:29,374 Shall we read? 280 00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:30,949 Is that what you want to do? 281 00:18:32,581 --> 00:18:35,541 Are you okay? You-- You seem... 282 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,092 - something. - Do I? 283 00:18:37,085 --> 00:18:40,295 - Yes. - Does it stir you? 284 00:18:41,423 --> 00:18:43,053 - Um... - Champagne? 285 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:46,260 I-- I don't drink. I don't need anything. 286 00:18:46,261 --> 00:18:49,641 But is there anything you want? 287 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:50,890 I'm fine. 288 00:18:52,059 --> 00:18:54,559 Come and get it. 289 00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:59,440 Oh, my God. You are trying to seduce me. 290 00:19:05,739 --> 00:19:08,449 - Oh. 291 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:11,040 - You had the oysters. 292 00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:14,496 I'm always reluctant. They travel them some distance. 293 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,550 - I'm a failure. - No. No, you're not. 294 00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,875 I would, of course, have sex. 295 00:19:23,131 --> 00:19:24,421 Oh... 296 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:27,144 Um, I'm not-- Yes, uh, should we read first? 297 00:19:27,135 --> 00:19:31,515 I'm not used to, um-- I feel a bit breathless, actually. Might sit. 298 00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:33,675 I actually feel very unwell. 299 00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:39,154 Empress, I am not well-versed with women. Um... 300 00:19:39,147 --> 00:19:42,477 I have in some way ruined things. I apologize. Sorry. 301 00:19:45,279 --> 00:19:48,949 Orlo'. Don't go'. 302 00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,869 I will say it plain. 303 00:19:50,868 --> 00:19:52,948 I was hoping you'd be mad with desire for me, 304 00:19:52,953 --> 00:19:54,963 and then you'd help me inspire an army to kill Peter. 305 00:19:54,955 --> 00:19:57,785 - What? - You wouldn't, would you? 306 00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:00,171 Kill him with me? A coup? 307 00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:03,048 Don't say anything else. 308 00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:07,262 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 309 00:20:07,259 --> 00:20:09,799 Fuck, fuck, fuck'. 310 00:20:16,643 --> 00:20:19,563 I failed. I was not good at seducing, 311 00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,363 and he was not good at understanding that he was being seduced. 312 00:20:22,357 --> 00:20:25,357 And then when I just asked him straight out if he would kill Peter, 313 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,950 - he said, "Fuck'." and ran away. - When you what? 314 00:20:27,946 --> 00:20:29,316 I do not wish to apportion blame, 315 00:20:29,323 --> 00:20:31,953 but I believe your seduction plan was ill-advised. 316 00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:34,240 - You told him of the coup? - I did. 317 00:20:34,244 --> 00:20:37,044 That also may have been ill-advised. 318 00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:40,079 Shit. It is bad. 319 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,923 I'm sure he will not tell him. He is good at heart. 320 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,130 He has survived at court ten years. It takes dark skills. 321 00:20:47,883 --> 00:20:50,803 Loyalty is rewarded here. He could tell Peter. 322 00:20:50,802 --> 00:20:54,512 Then I must win him over before he does. 323 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,894 - I will go to him, and try again. 324 00:20:56,892 --> 00:20:59,602 The emperor requests the empress's presence. 325 00:21:06,193 --> 00:21:08,743 How is the emperor's mood this morning? 326 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,289 Ah. Here you are. 327 00:21:19,289 --> 00:21:24,209 Taste this bacon. They are fed only on acorns and honey. It is amazing. 328 00:21:29,299 --> 00:21:30,879 Mm. Yes. Delicious. 329 00:21:30,884 --> 00:21:32,554 We concur. We agree. 330 00:21:32,552 --> 00:21:35,142 We share a love of bacon. Huzzah. 331 00:21:38,225 --> 00:21:39,385 Sit. 332 00:21:44,231 --> 00:21:45,571 As requested. 333 00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:56,080 You probably don't remember this, but a week or two ago, 334 00:21:56,076 --> 00:21:57,696 I shot your bear and punched you. 335 00:21:58,203 --> 00:22:01,583 Perhaps it has cast a pall between us. 336 00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:03,921 The fact you shot my bear and punched me. 337 00:22:03,917 --> 00:22:07,457 Yes. I think I was angry because no one has ever not liked me. 338 00:22:07,462 --> 00:22:08,922 Or at least, they're pretending to. 339 00:22:09,673 --> 00:22:10,763 Mm. Toosh. 340 00:22:11,383 --> 00:22:13,843 - What? - Toosh. 341 00:22:13,844 --> 00:22:16,514 - Do you mean touché? - What, is it not toosh? 342 00:22:16,513 --> 00:22:18,273 No. Touché. 343 00:22:18,265 --> 00:22:20,595 See. That's great. How smart you are. 344 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,230 Point is, it's a new day. A time to put things behind us. 345 00:22:23,228 --> 00:22:25,648 Teething problems, I believe they call it. 346 00:22:25,647 --> 00:22:29,777 - Are you apologizing to me? - I'm looking forward. Not dwelling. 347 00:22:29,776 --> 00:22:32,946 It is... hell... to dwell. 348 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:37,203 - It is a saying I just made up. - So you wish to forget it. 349 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,410 Regret it and forget it. Another saying. 350 00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:43,285 Look, here's what I think's happened. 351 00:22:43,290 --> 00:22:46,210 You've come in here with a very romantic notion of me, 352 00:22:46,209 --> 00:22:47,669 and marriage, and your life. 353 00:22:47,669 --> 00:22:49,799 A little naive, I guess. Not a criticism. 354 00:22:49,796 --> 00:22:51,626 It's actually a lovely attribute. 355 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:54,261 You met me, and I'm not a romantic man. 356 00:22:54,259 --> 00:22:56,889 More a practical chap. And I like to have fun. 357 00:22:56,887 --> 00:22:58,807 Larks and japes and weird sex. 358 00:22:58,805 --> 00:23:02,425 Point is, we're married, but we don't do it for each other. 359 00:23:03,852 --> 00:23:06,062 - We finally agree. - Huzzah'. 360 00:23:06,063 --> 00:23:09,153 Yes, accepting that truth might be liberating for us. 361 00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:12,319 You're really a drag around court. I want you to find happiness here. 362 00:23:12,319 --> 00:23:13,899 Hence, strawberries. 363 00:23:13,904 --> 00:23:16,204 Also, a new bear to replace the one I shot. 364 00:23:16,198 --> 00:23:19,118 Live as empress, and enjoy it. 365 00:23:19,117 --> 00:23:22,247 - We should also find you a lover. - I should take a lover? 366 00:23:22,245 --> 00:23:25,035 Yes, we should reach an agreement, because what's the alternative? 367 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,500 You remain unhappy, I become more and more angry, and then I kill you. 368 00:23:28,502 --> 00:23:31,382 I don't want to kill you. You're not a bad person. 369 00:23:32,089 --> 00:23:35,339 I could kill you. You are a bad person. 370 00:23:39,221 --> 00:23:41,351 See? I like you. You're funny. 371 00:23:41,348 --> 00:23:44,178 In a droll, despairing sort of way. I couldn't take a lot of it, 372 00:23:44,184 --> 00:23:46,354 but occasionally it's refreshing. 373 00:23:46,353 --> 00:23:49,313 Now, would it be so bad? We have enough in common to get on. 374 00:23:49,314 --> 00:23:51,484 We do? Like what? 375 00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:55,073 Well, we're both... pretty. 376 00:23:57,739 --> 00:24:01,079 Now, I never imagined myself as the guy who punches his wife. 377 00:24:01,076 --> 00:24:02,736 And yet you are. 378 00:24:02,744 --> 00:24:04,414 Is that your mother's necklace? 379 00:24:04,412 --> 00:24:08,542 Yes. I wear it sometimes to feel close. 380 00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:09,842 Did your father punch her? 381 00:24:09,835 --> 00:24:12,245 I have said regrets, and new day things. 382 00:24:12,254 --> 00:24:14,344 You must cheer up, and look forward to the future. 383 00:24:14,339 --> 00:24:17,719 I do very much look forward to the future. 384 00:24:17,717 --> 00:24:20,217 Oh. That's great. 385 00:24:21,555 --> 00:24:23,885 For I gather you will not punch me again. 386 00:24:23,890 --> 00:24:25,600 I won't. 387 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,230 - We are agreed? - Oh. That one is rancid. 388 00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:32,610 As is your whole idea. 389 00:24:51,793 --> 00:24:53,253 You're still strong. 390 00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:57,514 We all are if we know where to find it. 391 00:25:00,093 --> 00:25:03,183 - Oh, your heart is pounding. - I've been fighting. 392 00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:05,560 Your joy in pain is disturbing. 393 00:25:05,557 --> 00:25:07,477 We must all know our darkness, 394 00:25:07,475 --> 00:25:10,725 for how else do we know where to shine the light? 395 00:25:10,729 --> 00:25:13,229 So profound, cousin. 396 00:25:13,231 --> 00:25:15,281 Occupational hazard. It's like a reflex now. 397 00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:18,485 - You want some breakfast? - Oh, God, yes. 398 00:25:18,486 --> 00:25:21,156 The shit I get served downstairs. 399 00:25:22,073 --> 00:25:25,583 Um, I have a concern I wish your help with. 400 00:25:25,577 --> 00:25:26,907 Anything. 401 00:25:27,954 --> 00:25:29,004 The empress. 402 00:25:28,997 --> 00:25:32,377 I'm worried something she said to Orlo could be taken the wrong way. 403 00:25:33,126 --> 00:25:34,496 What did she say? 404 00:25:34,502 --> 00:25:38,262 She expressed some unhappiness with the emperor. 405 00:25:38,256 --> 00:25:42,136 Orlo may exaggerate the situation to enlarge himself at court. 406 00:25:42,802 --> 00:25:46,472 Be to your detriment if he did, as you're the author of her presence. 407 00:25:46,473 --> 00:25:50,103 I had a vision from God. I do not resile from it. 408 00:25:50,101 --> 00:25:52,601 In Catherine's defense, perhaps Orlo tried to rape her. 409 00:25:58,985 --> 00:26:00,485 To rape her? 410 00:26:00,487 --> 00:26:04,277 He is a man who famously lacks the skills to see his desires met. 411 00:26:04,282 --> 00:26:06,872 Fuck a man up. Don't you agree? 412 00:26:07,953 --> 00:26:10,663 If you need a defense, that could be one. That's all I'm saying. 413 00:26:12,374 --> 00:26:14,634 - I will deal with it. - Thank you. 414 00:26:15,919 --> 00:26:17,249 Aah'. 415 00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:19,587 - My gift. 416 00:26:25,387 --> 00:26:26,427 Orlo'. 417 00:26:34,312 --> 00:26:36,942 Please. Please do not speak to me. I beg you. 418 00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:38,400 Help me with the coup. 419 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,200 - Oh, my God, you cannot say that word. - Oh, it's just a word. 420 00:26:42,195 --> 00:26:44,775 But it does excite the mind, does it not? 421 00:26:46,741 --> 00:26:48,371 Here's my plan. 422 00:26:48,368 --> 00:26:52,538 You and I will create a philosophy, and plan for my regime. 423 00:26:52,539 --> 00:26:57,629 One that will inspire others to act, and be a blueprint for my reign. 424 00:26:57,627 --> 00:26:59,207 - Your-- - My reign. 425 00:26:59,713 --> 00:27:03,723 When we create a strong, vibrant Russia, 426 00:27:03,717 --> 00:27:08,637 alive with ideas, humane, and progressive. 427 00:27:08,638 --> 00:27:12,518 Where people live with dignity and purpose. 428 00:27:12,517 --> 00:27:15,017 - In Russia? - Indeed. 429 00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:18,360 - Huzzah. - But do you want to die? 430 00:27:18,356 --> 00:27:21,686 I am indifferent. I certainly do not want to live like this. 431 00:27:21,693 --> 00:27:26,493 You'll get used to it. And I know it looks bad, but we make progress. 432 00:27:26,489 --> 00:27:30,079 At the moment, we have an issue over the free will of beard-wearing. 433 00:27:30,076 --> 00:27:31,696 - I feel if-- - Beards? 434 00:27:31,703 --> 00:27:35,083 I have no time to waste, and neither do the people. 435 00:27:35,081 --> 00:27:36,251 Are you in? 436 00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:40,632 I cannot join for the simple reason you have already proved yourself 437 00:27:40,628 --> 00:27:42,758 incapable of executing it successfully. 438 00:27:42,756 --> 00:27:45,626 - How? - You chose me. 439 00:27:47,344 --> 00:27:49,354 - You are-- - A civil servant. 440 00:27:49,346 --> 00:27:51,766 - A coward. - I don't believe you. 441 00:27:52,974 --> 00:27:54,644 You are not a coward. 442 00:27:55,727 --> 00:27:57,597 I know you different. 443 00:27:58,605 --> 00:28:02,605 When we talk of ideas and humanity, 444 00:28:02,609 --> 00:28:04,569 I see a light ablaze in you. 445 00:28:07,572 --> 00:28:08,822 You don't know me at all. 446 00:28:09,908 --> 00:28:12,698 You married badly. I'm-- I'm sorry you made a mistake. 447 00:28:12,702 --> 00:28:14,292 Don't drag me and Russia into it. 448 00:28:15,246 --> 00:28:18,956 Russia and I are married to the same man. It is the same thing. 449 00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:22,548 You are an angry, mad person, so you will forgive me if I say no. 450 00:28:22,545 --> 00:28:25,295 And you must promise me never to speak of this to anyone else. 451 00:28:25,298 --> 00:28:27,758 I beg you. For your own sake. 452 00:28:29,135 --> 00:28:31,135 And will you speak of it? 453 00:28:31,805 --> 00:28:33,175 Or will you take it to Peter? 454 00:28:33,181 --> 00:28:37,141 It is something I am forgetting as I walk away from you. Good day. 455 00:28:51,199 --> 00:28:54,579 As we hunt, we shall discuss whether or not to kill the empress. 456 00:28:54,577 --> 00:28:57,497 What? Sir, no, no. She is a radiant presence. 457 00:28:57,497 --> 00:28:59,457 She is shimmering. A godsend. 458 00:28:59,457 --> 00:29:02,787 She is a misery at court, made fun of the ladies' wig hats, 459 00:29:02,794 --> 00:29:06,344 and is a strange creature who I sense, is at times, laughing at me. 460 00:29:06,339 --> 00:29:08,089 I was thinking a small carriage accident, 461 00:29:08,091 --> 00:29:11,301 a suitable period of mourning, and onward to a new choice. 462 00:29:11,302 --> 00:29:13,852 Archie, you will not be involved, as you were abysmally fucking wrong, 463 00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:14,887 and tell that to God. 464 00:29:14,889 --> 00:29:17,349 Emperor, she's going through some transition. 465 00:29:17,350 --> 00:29:18,980 We should help her with compassionate eyes. 466 00:29:18,977 --> 00:29:22,727 - Shut the fuck up. Orlo, thoughts. - I think not, sir. 467 00:29:22,730 --> 00:29:25,320 It would look bad in Europe, and be whispered at court. 468 00:29:25,316 --> 00:29:28,316 No one at court likes her, except apparently you disloyal fucks. 469 00:29:28,319 --> 00:29:30,739 Go. All of you. George and Grigor, stay. 470 00:29:33,825 --> 00:29:36,235 Mother lit up when Father walked into a room. 471 00:29:36,244 --> 00:29:39,374 I could kill her and start again. Why is no one excited by this idea? 472 00:29:39,372 --> 00:29:40,502 Orlo's right. 473 00:29:40,498 --> 00:29:43,748 It would look like a failure in court, and in Europe, 474 00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:45,921 that you could not keep your woman happy. 475 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,630 He is the emperor. You of course may kill her if you wish. 476 00:29:49,632 --> 00:29:53,342 - She will be forgotten about in weeks. - Finally. Some loyalty. 477 00:29:59,225 --> 00:30:02,265 Between us, I thought her and I might be as you two. 478 00:30:02,270 --> 00:30:03,770 A perfect union. 479 00:30:03,771 --> 00:30:06,731 Perhaps she could be. Why give up now? 480 00:30:06,733 --> 00:30:10,613 She may be all you need, as George is to me. 481 00:30:10,612 --> 00:30:15,662 I suspect I will always need more, as I am a person who always needs more. 482 00:30:15,658 --> 00:30:19,078 Seems to me all you really want is for her to be more cheerful in court, 483 00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:21,748 and to bear you an heir. That is all you want from a wife. 484 00:30:21,748 --> 00:30:24,748 Yes. Yes, and she does not provide it. 485 00:30:24,751 --> 00:30:29,511 Grigor, you never told me how tricky this marriage business is. 486 00:30:29,506 --> 00:30:32,876 Until one is in it, one cannot imagine. 487 00:30:32,884 --> 00:30:33,934 Hmmph. 488 00:30:34,636 --> 00:30:38,596 I sometimes feel that, due to our political differences, 489 00:30:38,598 --> 00:30:42,728 I perhaps do not offer you the spiritual counsel that you need. 490 00:30:42,727 --> 00:30:44,307 This is my flaw. 491 00:30:44,312 --> 00:30:47,152 I am fine for counsel, but thank you. 492 00:30:47,148 --> 00:30:50,438 And if you're seeking flaws, I could also make a list of yours, 493 00:30:50,443 --> 00:30:53,203 - if it would aid you. - How kind. 494 00:30:54,197 --> 00:30:56,527 I see you occasionally huddled with the empress, 495 00:30:56,533 --> 00:30:58,623 and wonder if you're trying to butt fuck her. 496 00:30:58,618 --> 00:31:00,198 - Mm. 497 00:31:00,203 --> 00:31:03,713 As flustered as a freshly raped novice, Orlo. 498 00:31:03,706 --> 00:31:05,326 No, I am not. 499 00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:08,633 She is my friend in literature. That is all. 500 00:31:08,628 --> 00:31:10,838 Let us go back and ask the emperor. 501 00:31:10,838 --> 00:31:14,128 See what he makes of it. He seems in a forgiving mood. 502 00:31:14,133 --> 00:31:17,683 And perhaps remind him your vision brought her here. 503 00:31:18,179 --> 00:31:20,809 God is right in all things. 504 00:31:23,476 --> 00:31:25,646 But she is upsetting him, 505 00:31:25,645 --> 00:31:28,515 when I hoped being married would settle him. 506 00:31:29,857 --> 00:31:33,187 You and I are men of power, and I'm sure would like to remain so. 507 00:31:33,194 --> 00:31:35,364 We have that much in common. 508 00:31:35,363 --> 00:31:38,583 Do not take advantage of her unhappiness. 509 00:31:38,575 --> 00:31:39,695 I am not. 510 00:31:40,702 --> 00:31:43,752 You must offer her counsel. 511 00:31:43,746 --> 00:31:46,866 Lead her to a safe path for all of us. 512 00:31:46,874 --> 00:31:50,594 - So I believe you ask a favor. - Hmm. 513 00:31:50,587 --> 00:31:54,337 I've always said you're the smartest man in the kingdom. 514 00:31:54,340 --> 00:31:59,680 She is smarter than I hoped, but we will manage, and you will help me. 515 00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:02,309 You just have to try and control everyone, don't you? 516 00:32:02,307 --> 00:32:06,387 I must do God's will, and he often wants us all to not be as we are. 517 00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:12,230 And in exchange, you will help me with Rostov's beard. 518 00:32:16,696 --> 00:32:19,026 I thought perhaps he really wanted her dead. 519 00:32:19,032 --> 00:32:21,412 He lashes out if he feels alone. 520 00:32:21,409 --> 00:32:24,449 Such insight. You know him so well. 521 00:32:24,454 --> 00:32:26,874 Do not scratch at me. 522 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,730 I'm killing her. A carriage accident later in the week. 523 00:32:53,733 --> 00:32:56,743 You must decide how to make it work with Europe and the court. 524 00:32:58,237 --> 00:32:59,697 Shit. 525 00:33:22,679 --> 00:33:24,139 Hello? 526 00:33:30,978 --> 00:33:32,608 Come here. 527 00:33:33,773 --> 00:33:36,693 Oh. Oh'. 528 00:33:41,989 --> 00:33:44,579 Look what those shits have done to my house. 529 00:33:58,464 --> 00:34:01,884 Trespassing. That is not yours anymore. 530 00:34:01,884 --> 00:34:05,184 - Guards. - You're really doing this, then. 531 00:34:05,179 --> 00:34:09,639 It will help you adjust to your place. Think of it as an act of friendship. 532 00:34:09,642 --> 00:34:11,982 - Let us make it worth it, then. 533 00:34:20,570 --> 00:34:22,820 - Ah'. 534 00:34:31,289 --> 00:34:34,169 Yes. Yes. I knew you would see reason, Orlo. 535 00:34:34,167 --> 00:34:37,837 I have not. I come to you to help you see reason. 536 00:34:37,837 --> 00:34:40,127 Your obvious unhappiness endangers you. 537 00:34:40,131 --> 00:34:42,801 - In what way? - He will kill you. 538 00:34:46,679 --> 00:34:47,679 Marial'. 539 00:34:50,475 --> 00:34:52,805 Uh, you wanted something, Empress? 540 00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:54,520 Where is Marial? 541 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,570 She's... not here. Um, but she will be, at an unknown time-- 542 00:34:58,566 --> 00:35:01,686 You are lying, which is both out of character, and really annoying. 543 00:35:01,694 --> 00:35:02,744 Take me to her. 544 00:35:13,998 --> 00:35:16,128 - Adieu. 545 00:35:23,174 --> 00:35:25,384 Vlad, you will look worse than me when I am done with you. 546 00:35:25,384 --> 00:35:27,054 She will not touch you, Vlad. 547 00:35:27,053 --> 00:35:29,063 He wants me to touch him. Don't you, Vlad? 548 00:35:29,055 --> 00:35:30,765 Um... uh... 549 00:35:34,185 --> 00:35:37,145 - What happened? - I forgot my place. 550 00:35:37,146 --> 00:35:39,186 - Who? - It does not matter. 551 00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:43,190 My nature and my station collided. That is all. 552 00:35:43,194 --> 00:35:44,784 No one has the right to do this. 553 00:35:44,779 --> 00:35:49,159 Technically untrue. I am property. Not a person. 554 00:35:49,784 --> 00:35:52,794 Give me a few minutes and I will be out to dress you for dinner. 555 00:35:53,704 --> 00:35:56,464 What has happened? Are you all right? 556 00:35:56,457 --> 00:35:58,457 I did not realize I would be having so many guests. 557 00:35:58,459 --> 00:36:00,749 - I would have had tea brought down. - Who did this? 558 00:36:00,753 --> 00:36:03,803 She will not say. Lady Svenska, perhaps. 559 00:36:03,798 --> 00:36:06,008 It was not her. 560 00:36:06,008 --> 00:36:07,548 I have a job to do. 561 00:36:10,513 --> 00:36:13,683 I am ready. Let us go, Empress. 562 00:36:13,683 --> 00:36:16,563 Empress, I had a vision from God this afternoon. 563 00:36:16,561 --> 00:36:18,021 Oh, he does that. 564 00:36:19,939 --> 00:36:22,149 I came to Marial to pass it to you. 565 00:36:22,149 --> 00:36:26,449 Knives were raining down from the clouds, 566 00:36:26,445 --> 00:36:28,235 headed for your soft skin. 567 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,199 And you smiled, and they all disappeared, 568 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:36,210 and became flower petals, floating gently down. 569 00:36:36,205 --> 00:36:39,665 Everyone wants me to be happy. Now, even God. 570 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:45,130 God's love... is all. 571 00:37:18,122 --> 00:37:20,122 I am training them. 572 00:37:27,298 --> 00:37:31,088 They do not all make the journey to a new land. 573 00:37:31,093 --> 00:37:33,183 My dear, sit. 574 00:37:34,972 --> 00:37:36,432 And let's talk of how you are. 575 00:37:36,432 --> 00:37:39,642 I'm quite well. Note my smiling face. 576 00:37:39,644 --> 00:37:43,064 I do. Has Emperor Peter had something to do with this? 577 00:37:44,148 --> 00:37:48,528 - He has been sweet. - Oh. At heart, that is him. 578 00:37:48,527 --> 00:37:52,317 You know, as a young boy, Peter would run to his mother, 579 00:37:52,323 --> 00:37:56,373 holding aloft a picture he'd drawn, or a boat fashioned from leaves, 580 00:37:56,369 --> 00:37:59,869 his eyes and words begging for approbation. 581 00:37:59,872 --> 00:38:01,622 For love. 582 00:38:01,624 --> 00:38:04,794 And she would level a gaze at him and hold him in it. 583 00:38:04,794 --> 00:38:07,924 And he would fall silent, and go so still. 584 00:38:07,922 --> 00:38:10,512 And then tears would run from his eyes, 585 00:38:10,508 --> 00:38:13,838 and his whole body would begin shaking uncontrollably, 586 00:38:13,844 --> 00:38:16,894 and urine would pool at his feet. 587 00:38:16,889 --> 00:38:19,349 Hmm. It was a curious phenomenon. 588 00:38:19,350 --> 00:38:23,060 - Why would she do that? - Everyone has their thing. 589 00:38:23,062 --> 00:38:25,062 Hers was cruelty. 590 00:38:25,815 --> 00:38:29,775 So I'm asking for some forgiveness. Some empathy. 591 00:38:29,777 --> 00:38:32,697 From one I can tell is filled with both. 592 00:38:39,328 --> 00:38:41,578 - That is amazing. 593 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:43,580 Indeed. 594 00:38:45,793 --> 00:38:48,003 Aah, stop. Stop. Get back here. 595 00:38:49,922 --> 00:38:51,672 - Aah. - Good evening, husband. 596 00:38:53,467 --> 00:38:54,547 Empress. 597 00:38:54,552 --> 00:38:57,602 - You look marvelous. 598 00:38:57,596 --> 00:38:59,926 And your skirt. 599 00:38:59,932 --> 00:39:02,642 - It is very pretty. - Thanks. 600 00:39:02,643 --> 00:39:05,403 It also allows one's cock to swing free in the air. 601 00:39:05,396 --> 00:39:07,976 Marvelous. Old Madam Bolzoi whipped it up. 602 00:39:07,982 --> 00:39:10,072 It is genius. 603 00:39:10,067 --> 00:39:13,357 I apologize if I have been of sour face lately. 604 00:39:13,362 --> 00:39:16,742 I had my blood in, and you know how that goes. Rrrr. 605 00:39:16,741 --> 00:39:20,291 Oh, right. I see. Well, that explains much. 606 00:39:20,286 --> 00:39:22,036 But I feel much restored. 607 00:39:22,038 --> 00:39:24,538 What is the nature of this stunning banquet? 608 00:39:24,540 --> 00:39:26,130 We are honoring some of our wounded, 609 00:39:26,125 --> 00:39:28,835 who finally won a battle for us against Sweden. 610 00:39:28,836 --> 00:39:30,796 Poor fucking guys. 611 00:39:30,796 --> 00:39:31,876 No eyes, that one. 612 00:39:32,923 --> 00:39:36,143 To never see a naked woman or a deer in full fucking fight again. 613 00:39:36,135 --> 00:39:38,465 Still, he may fuck ugly women and be happy now. 614 00:39:38,971 --> 00:39:41,601 Huzzah. 615 00:39:43,142 --> 00:39:45,442 - Let us dance. - Ooh. 616 00:39:53,736 --> 00:39:55,986 You're an exceptional dancer. 617 00:39:55,988 --> 00:39:58,778 The secret is to imagine your feet have wings on them. 618 00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:17,973 Orlo, you virgin. Pretend to mount your own hand. 619 00:40:19,762 --> 00:40:22,772 Ha ha ha. Brilliant'. 620 00:40:23,724 --> 00:40:25,394 George, do the thing. 621 00:40:25,893 --> 00:40:28,943 Watch this. It is marvelous. 622 00:40:32,358 --> 00:40:34,188 - Huzzah'. - Huzzah'. 623 00:40:37,196 --> 00:40:40,316 - Whoo'. Aah'. 624 00:40:40,324 --> 00:40:42,954 Aah'. Cake'. Cake'. 625 00:40:44,078 --> 00:40:45,828 Aah'. Thank you'. 626 00:40:49,125 --> 00:40:52,085 He will suffocate, yet die the happiest of men. 627 00:40:57,299 --> 00:41:00,469 To the men who died in battle. 628 00:41:00,469 --> 00:41:03,389 To those who returned without all their fucking limbs... 629 00:41:03,889 --> 00:41:07,099 - Huzzah'. - Huzzah'. 630 00:41:10,146 --> 00:41:14,396 - Oh. That was delicious. - Mm. I agree entirely. 631 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,030 I knew we had things in common. Good taste. 632 00:41:17,027 --> 00:41:20,067 - And our prettiness. - Hmm. 633 00:41:25,077 --> 00:41:27,117 Bring in those Swedish heads. 634 00:41:27,121 --> 00:41:29,501 We will eat dessert under their beady gaze. 635 00:41:40,384 --> 00:41:41,434 Hmmph. 636 00:41:46,432 --> 00:41:47,562 Hmm. 637 00:41:48,267 --> 00:41:50,807 Fucking lemoniest of lemon. Extraordinary. 638 00:41:53,105 --> 00:41:55,855 Would you like mine? It matches your hair. 639 00:41:55,858 --> 00:41:58,738 Hmm. Indeed. 640 00:42:07,119 --> 00:42:09,329 It is happy to be happy together, is it not? 641 00:42:10,789 --> 00:42:12,289 It is marvelous. 642 00:42:12,875 --> 00:42:14,455 You are marvelous. 643 00:42:14,460 --> 00:42:17,460 You gave me a bear, and have ceased punching me. 644 00:42:17,463 --> 00:42:19,803 What woman would not be happy? 645 00:42:19,798 --> 00:42:21,298 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 646 00:42:21,300 --> 00:42:22,340 Hmm. 647 00:42:25,262 --> 00:42:26,722 I feel we are being stared at. 648 00:42:29,475 --> 00:42:31,135 I believe we are. 649 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,020 You rude fucker. 650 00:42:36,106 --> 00:42:37,316 Hmm? 651 00:42:44,281 --> 00:42:48,411 Everyone. Poke their fucking eyes out. 652 00:43:20,025 --> 00:43:21,275 Huzzah. 653 00:43:24,196 --> 00:43:27,866 To be true to my heart, apparently, I must be disingenuous with my face. 654 00:43:28,534 --> 00:43:30,294 It is the way for all of us. 655 00:43:30,911 --> 00:43:33,331 It is not a crime to lie to others. 656 00:43:33,330 --> 00:43:35,920 Just to lie to one's self. 657 00:43:36,458 --> 00:43:40,048 Very profound. It is very fucking unpleasant to me. 658 00:43:40,045 --> 00:43:43,295 Hmm. You perhaps thought the taking of an empire would be effortless. 659 00:43:43,799 --> 00:43:47,469 - I do not like your tone. - Why? It contains the prick of truth. 660 00:43:47,469 --> 00:43:49,389 Yes. That is exactly why. 661 00:43:51,307 --> 00:43:53,307 Are you sore? 662 00:43:53,309 --> 00:43:56,149 - The emperor requests entrance. 663 00:44:32,181 --> 00:44:34,771 Thank you and have a pleasant night, husband. 664 00:44:34,767 --> 00:44:36,687 Right. You, too. 665 00:44:37,436 --> 00:44:40,356 - It was good, huh? - Indeed. 666 00:44:41,106 --> 00:44:42,396 Indeed. 667 00:44:43,567 --> 00:44:45,687 Okay. Good. 668 00:44:46,612 --> 00:44:47,652 Indeed. 669 00:44:55,579 --> 00:44:59,329 - Empress. - What a life you live, Orlo. 670 00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:02,463 You will not get your cock wet, or your knife bloody, 671 00:45:02,461 --> 00:45:04,341 or your heart even pumping. 672 00:45:04,338 --> 00:45:08,258 But you will perform like a cock-pumping circus for him. 673 00:45:08,258 --> 00:45:10,838 These books. These ideas. 674 00:45:11,387 --> 00:45:13,807 As dead on your shelves as you are inside. 675 00:45:13,806 --> 00:45:15,886 They are poetry. Not reality. 676 00:45:16,642 --> 00:45:20,482 Would you not like to see a strong, vibrant Russia? 677 00:45:20,479 --> 00:45:23,359 Alive with ideas, humane and progressive, 678 00:45:23,357 --> 00:45:25,527 where people live with dignity and purpose? 679 00:45:25,526 --> 00:45:26,646 I would. 680 00:45:27,152 --> 00:45:30,822 And a talking pig and a dog that cooks omelets. 681 00:45:30,823 --> 00:45:33,123 But I suspect I will die disappointed. 682 00:45:34,326 --> 00:45:36,996 Well, there's an aspiration. 683 00:45:36,995 --> 00:45:39,915 To die disappointed. Good luck with that. 684 00:45:39,915 --> 00:45:41,415 I suspect you will make it. 685 00:45:41,417 --> 00:45:45,667 Empress, I have looked at the situation, and at what I can achieve within reason. 686 00:45:46,505 --> 00:45:50,505 What's the point in believing in something if you will not act for it? 687 00:45:50,509 --> 00:45:54,469 I, too, believe in reason, and a nation ruled by it. 688 00:45:54,471 --> 00:45:59,481 But I believe only action and passion will achieve it. 689 00:46:00,936 --> 00:46:05,066 I will not live my life on the sidelines, some half-hearted coward. 690 00:46:05,065 --> 00:46:08,275 I promised myself a great love. 691 00:46:08,277 --> 00:46:09,857 That didn't work out. 692 00:46:10,487 --> 00:46:12,277 Then I realized... 693 00:46:13,031 --> 00:46:16,621 it is a great life that I want. 694 00:46:16,618 --> 00:46:18,498 Everyone does that. 695 00:46:19,163 --> 00:46:22,583 Then they grow up, and realize there are parameters. 696 00:46:22,583 --> 00:46:25,543 Treason is what we're discussing here. 697 00:46:25,544 --> 00:46:28,174 Which could get you cut open, filled with baby rats, 698 00:46:28,172 --> 00:46:29,422 and then sewn back up. 699 00:46:30,382 --> 00:46:32,382 - I hate rats. - So do I. 700 00:46:34,636 --> 00:46:37,056 - What else do you hate? - I hate the war. 701 00:46:38,348 --> 00:46:41,348 I hate the fucking state of my country. 702 00:46:41,852 --> 00:46:43,402 But this is Russia. 703 00:46:43,395 --> 00:46:46,395 Things change incrementally. 704 00:46:47,065 --> 00:46:49,105 As I said, you'll get used to it. 705 00:46:49,109 --> 00:46:53,159 If I am ever used to it, I will not be me. 706 00:46:53,155 --> 00:46:55,695 I make a difference, Empress. 707 00:46:56,283 --> 00:46:59,503 I spread ideas. I make progress. 708 00:46:59,495 --> 00:47:00,575 I understand. 709 00:47:01,663 --> 00:47:05,133 If you did this, you would be a different man. 710 00:47:07,336 --> 00:47:09,336 You would be a man 711 00:47:09,338 --> 00:47:13,878 who had been on fire all this time. 712 00:47:13,884 --> 00:47:19,604 But finally, one day, let himself take the lid off. 713 00:47:20,390 --> 00:47:23,940 And let the fire burn away the fear, 714 00:47:23,936 --> 00:47:26,686 and leave him raw and ready, 715 00:47:26,688 --> 00:47:30,318 to do what it took to join hands with me. 716 00:47:31,193 --> 00:47:34,363 And we would transform this country. 717 00:47:35,656 --> 00:47:39,486 And die, if needs be, in the process. 718 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,460 But we would happily die, 719 00:47:45,123 --> 00:47:48,383 knowing we lived as we should. 720 00:47:49,628 --> 00:47:51,878 You would be that man. 721 00:47:59,638 --> 00:48:00,888 I can't. 722 00:48:02,558 --> 00:48:06,558 I saw a small man, and imagined something bigger. 723 00:48:07,813 --> 00:48:09,733 I apologize, sir. 724 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,020 What will you do with them? 725 00:48:46,685 --> 00:48:48,185 Burn them. 726 00:48:59,531 --> 00:49:01,451 I need you to give these a Christian burial. 727 00:49:02,784 --> 00:49:04,874 I can only do a whole body. 728 00:49:10,292 --> 00:49:12,712 I could bless them. 729 00:49:18,008 --> 00:49:22,298 Grant rest eternal in blessed repose, oh, Lord, 730 00:49:22,304 --> 00:49:24,894 to thy servants who have fallen asleep. 731 00:49:24,890 --> 00:49:27,430 And make their memory to be eternal. 732 00:49:41,865 --> 00:49:45,075 So I've decided not to kill her. She was full of happy japes. 733 00:49:45,077 --> 00:49:47,407 She explained her blood was in for weeks, apparently, 734 00:49:47,412 --> 00:49:49,962 which was strange but may be an Austrian thing. 735 00:49:49,956 --> 00:49:52,786 So let us forgive her, and give her another chance. 736 00:49:53,794 --> 00:49:55,924 Emperor, Count Rostov. 737 00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:01,930 Rostov, you still have a beaver on your face. What the fuck? 738 00:50:01,927 --> 00:50:05,007 Emperor. Perhaps a gesture 739 00:50:05,013 --> 00:50:09,313 would be to make the having of beards an issue of free will. 740 00:50:09,309 --> 00:50:11,519 - We've been talking. - Who's "we?" 741 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,320 All of us. Velementov, you explained it well. 742 00:50:15,315 --> 00:50:17,025 I, um... 743 00:50:17,859 --> 00:50:19,989 Perhaps an idea of, um... 744 00:50:20,737 --> 00:50:24,027 allowing people to choose would be a way to... 745 00:50:24,533 --> 00:50:26,913 express love, and... 746 00:50:26,910 --> 00:50:30,250 share the strength of your leadership, and, um... 747 00:50:31,039 --> 00:50:34,789 - Our quest for modernity-- - They realize your wisdom, 748 00:50:34,793 --> 00:50:39,303 and almost all happily honor it, while allowing some freedom. 749 00:50:39,297 --> 00:50:40,967 They love you more. 750 00:50:40,966 --> 00:50:45,296 And what if they all wear beards as an open "fuck you?" 751 00:50:45,303 --> 00:50:46,763 - They would not. - Of course they would not, 752 00:50:46,763 --> 00:50:48,313 for they love the emperor. 753 00:50:48,807 --> 00:50:51,137 But I agree with Grigor. 754 00:50:51,143 --> 00:50:57,023 It opens the door for the unhappiness to have a visual symbol of rebellion. 755 00:50:57,023 --> 00:51:00,363 - It's just a beard. - I just need dispensation, that is all. 756 00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:01,700 - My wife-- - Shut up. 757 00:51:02,904 --> 00:51:05,494 What unhappiness? Archie? 758 00:51:05,490 --> 00:51:07,370 - There is no unhappiness. - None at all. 759 00:51:07,367 --> 00:51:09,157 Mere hypothetics, I'm sure, is all. 760 00:51:09,161 --> 00:51:11,961 They should all do as the emperor fucking says'. 761 00:51:12,914 --> 00:51:15,384 His will is what we all must bend to. 762 00:51:15,375 --> 00:51:18,335 His wisdom. Why should some bend, and not others? 763 00:51:18,336 --> 00:51:20,506 Here, here. Now, now I think on it properly, 764 00:51:20,505 --> 00:51:22,415 this is a silly thing to ever consider. 765 00:51:22,424 --> 00:51:25,474 So the edict stands. Rostov, get rid of that fucking beard. 766 00:51:25,469 --> 00:51:27,679 You cannot just force everyone to just bend to your will, 767 00:51:27,679 --> 00:51:30,929 for externally they will, but inside, simmering discontent will rise, 768 00:51:30,932 --> 00:51:33,272 and may spew forth. 769 00:51:37,689 --> 00:51:41,399 - Are you yelling at me, Orlo? - Sir, you must win their minds. 770 00:51:47,908 --> 00:51:49,988 Sir. Sir'. 771 00:51:49,993 --> 00:51:53,373 We can move the country on and bring the people with us by choice, 772 00:51:53,371 --> 00:51:54,501 rather than force. 773 00:51:54,498 --> 00:51:56,788 - Free will is an important-- - Emperor-- 774 00:51:56,792 --> 00:51:58,672 Shut the fuck up, fatso. 775 00:52:05,050 --> 00:52:07,840 - Shave him. - What? 776 00:52:07,844 --> 00:52:10,394 Fucking shave him. 777 00:52:10,388 --> 00:52:13,558 Rostov, move, and you'll lose more than your beard. 778 00:52:15,685 --> 00:52:18,265 Of course, you have free will. You can refuse me. 779 00:52:18,271 --> 00:52:20,271 Go ahead. Make your choice. 780 00:52:21,733 --> 00:52:24,743 And then I will have free will to make my next choice. 781 00:52:36,706 --> 00:52:40,166 - Um, water and soap? - Just do it. 782 00:52:48,009 --> 00:52:50,469 Orlo, you fuck. 783 00:53:01,439 --> 00:53:03,229 It is Orlo. 784 00:53:22,878 --> 00:53:25,798 ♪ I was blind, now I can see ♪ 785 00:53:25,797 --> 00:53:31,257 ♪ You made a believer out of me ♪ 786 00:53:31,261 --> 00:53:33,721 ♪ I was blind ♪ 787 00:53:33,722 --> 00:53:36,062 ♪ Now I can see ♪ 788 00:53:36,057 --> 00:53:38,887 ♪ You made a believer ♪ 789 00:53:38,894 --> 00:53:40,694 ♪ Out of me ♪ 790 00:53:40,687 --> 00:53:43,647 ♪ I'm movin' on up now ♪ 791 00:53:45,191 --> 00:53:49,071 ♪ Getting out of the darkness ♪ 792 00:53:50,614 --> 00:53:55,834 ♪My light shines on My light shines on ♪ 793 00:53:55,827 --> 00:54:00,117 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 794 00:54:01,833 --> 00:54:04,133 ♪ I was lost ♪ 795 00:54:04,127 --> 00:54:06,587 ♪ Now I'm found ♪ 796 00:54:06,588 --> 00:54:09,378 ♪ I believe in you ♪ 797 00:54:09,382 --> 00:54:12,142 ♪ I got no bounds ♪ 798 00:54:12,135 --> 00:54:14,675 ♪ I was lost ♪ 799 00:54:14,679 --> 00:54:16,769 ♪ Now I'm found ♪ 800 00:54:16,765 --> 00:54:19,015 ♪ I believe in you ♪ 801 00:54:19,517 --> 00:54:21,477 ♪ I got no bounds ♪ 802 00:54:21,478 --> 00:54:24,188 ♪ I'm movin' on up now ♪ 803 00:54:26,024 --> 00:54:29,404 ♪ Getting out of the darkness ♪ 804 00:54:31,571 --> 00:54:33,781 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 805 00:54:34,032 --> 00:54:36,412 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 806 00:54:36,660 --> 00:54:38,660 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 807 00:54:38,912 --> 00:54:41,462 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 808 00:54:41,706 --> 00:54:43,666 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 809 00:54:43,917 --> 00:54:46,497 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 810 00:54:46,753 --> 00:54:49,553 ♪ My light shines on ♪