1 00:00:38,144 --> 00:00:41,404 We will have free bread and medicine for all, 2 00:00:41,398 --> 00:00:43,898 education and art for all. 3 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:47,570 Every Russian heart will be full ofjoy, 4 00:00:48,488 --> 00:00:50,618 their stomach full of food, 5 00:00:51,574 --> 00:00:54,794 and their mind full of ideas. 6 00:00:54,786 --> 00:00:56,246 This is Russia. 7 00:00:56,788 --> 00:00:58,618 Well, what does that mean? 8 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,173 It needs to be believable. 9 00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:03,501 We must aim high. 10 00:01:03,503 --> 00:01:04,673 No, he's right. 11 00:01:05,171 --> 00:01:06,971 "No one will rape you or kill your children, 12 00:01:06,965 --> 00:01:09,255 and occasionally there will be some bread" would be enough. 13 00:01:09,884 --> 00:01:13,684 Oh, so far, I've written a 74-page treatise. 14 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,350 I thought perhaps some Montaigne. 15 00:01:16,349 --> 00:01:17,599 I got stuck on Machiavelli. 16 00:01:18,351 --> 00:01:22,561 Read in the French translation, he says the ends justify the means. 17 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,150 But in the original Italian, he merely asks. 18 00:01:27,152 --> 00:01:29,702 - Oh, sorry'. 19 00:01:29,696 --> 00:01:32,486 I was holding... holding the tray, 20 00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:35,870 and then I fell asleep listening to you both. 21 00:01:35,869 --> 00:01:39,159 Is this a coup or a fucking book club? 22 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:43,375 The blini must be lighter, with a hint, a fucking hint, 23 00:01:43,376 --> 00:01:45,336 of rosemary, not a fucking ball bag of it. 24 00:01:45,336 --> 00:01:49,086 I think it is right. Strong is good. 25 00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:51,680 Maybe you're right, Louis. Let me check again. 26 00:01:58,266 --> 00:01:59,766 Turns out, no. 27 00:02:01,352 --> 00:02:03,482 How's this for your speech? 28 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,150 Something like this. 29 00:02:05,148 --> 00:02:09,568 "My father, Peter the Great, was a leader like none before, 30 00:02:09,569 --> 00:02:13,359 who catapulted Russia to a greatness hitherto 31 00:02:13,364 --> 00:02:14,704 never seen on this Earth. 32 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:18,909 Without parallel, a man who bestrode the lands like a colossus--" 33 00:02:18,912 --> 00:02:20,292 Oh, shut up, Arkady. 34 00:02:21,581 --> 00:02:22,791 You don't like it? 35 00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:26,376 I do not remember the new rule where I justify why I tell you to shut up. 36 00:02:26,377 --> 00:02:27,497 Do you? 37 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:37,510 - I hate these fuckers. - Who? 38 00:02:38,056 --> 00:02:39,926 The generals, your father's buddies. 39 00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:42,643 When we were kids, what assholes. 40 00:02:42,644 --> 00:02:46,024 No. No, marvelous men, and they must have a great day. 41 00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:49,482 It will be a grand day that honors your father and reflects glory on you. 42 00:02:49,484 --> 00:02:51,444 If we get the fucking blini right, it will. 43 00:02:51,444 --> 00:02:55,034 - Leo Voronsky. - Oh. Forgot all about him. 44 00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:56,991 Emperor, it's an honor. 45 00:02:56,991 --> 00:02:58,331 Of course it is. 46 00:03:00,578 --> 00:03:02,828 Show us your cock. 47 00:03:04,457 --> 00:03:05,877 Of course. 48 00:03:12,715 --> 00:03:13,965 Marvelous. 49 00:03:14,509 --> 00:03:16,719 - George? - Indeed. 50 00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:17,679 Chaps? 51 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,640 Hmm. Brilliant. Come. 52 00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:28,018 Mm. 53 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,356 Why do we notjust kill him? 54 00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:37,242 Next time he is on you, stab him in the face. 55 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,910 I in the back, Orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress, 56 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:43,750 and I am Lady Marial. The end. 57 00:03:43,746 --> 00:03:45,866 But it-- It is not so simple. 58 00:03:45,874 --> 00:03:48,594 We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia 59 00:03:48,585 --> 00:03:51,125 from the pulpit after, so they must support her. 60 00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:55,719 And if Ivan is alive, we need a sympathetic military, 61 00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:57,757 for if we kill him before that is all in place, 62 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,810 then the military and others may get behind Ivan, 63 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,135 and run over Catherine in the process. 64 00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:04,770 - No one even knows where Ivan is. - Who is Ivan? 65 00:04:04,767 --> 00:04:07,147 Ivan is Peter's half-brother, 66 00:04:07,145 --> 00:04:09,645 bastard son to Peter the Great. 67 00:04:09,647 --> 00:04:13,027 His supporters tried to take the throne after Peter first came to power. 68 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:15,570 I will find out where he is. 69 00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:17,160 How? 70 00:04:18,781 --> 00:04:20,121 Cleverly. 71 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,750 I suspect we need a year to get our pamphlets just right. 72 00:04:24,746 --> 00:04:26,366 It's no wonder you never fuck anyone. 73 00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:28,632 You-- You cannot speak to me like that. 74 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:30,035 Because I am a serf? 75 00:04:30,668 --> 00:04:32,128 Because it's rude. 76 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,221 How dare you'. 77 00:04:38,217 --> 00:04:40,007 You just walk into my chambers, sir. 78 00:04:40,762 --> 00:04:43,722 I would have ridden, but my horse has trouble with stairs. 79 00:04:43,723 --> 00:04:44,853 Empress? 80 00:04:45,558 --> 00:04:46,728 Orlo, what are you doing here? 81 00:04:47,477 --> 00:04:49,267 - Uh-- - He brought me a book. 82 00:04:49,270 --> 00:04:52,360 Uh, I thought the empress would be interested-- 83 00:04:52,357 --> 00:04:53,977 - Oh, God, you're dull. Get out. - Sir. 84 00:04:58,237 --> 00:05:01,027 I have brought you a gift. I promised you a lover. 85 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,280 A lover? 86 00:05:03,284 --> 00:05:05,124 It is thoughtful of me, I agree. 87 00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:08,039 This is Leo. His father, Sergei, was a famous ladies' man. 88 00:05:08,039 --> 00:05:10,749 Leo is smart, reads books, recites sonnets, 89 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,540 can hunt with the best, enjoys fine wines and offal, 90 00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:15,254 and has a pretty big cock. 91 00:05:15,254 --> 00:05:18,974 Added advantage: had mumps as a child, so is sterile. Huzzah. 92 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,297 I hope you like him. 93 00:05:20,301 --> 00:05:22,261 Make her happy, or else. 94 00:05:22,261 --> 00:05:24,261 Must dash. Big day. 95 00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:28,892 You may go, sir. 96 00:05:30,937 --> 00:05:33,147 You-- I'd rather not. 97 00:05:33,147 --> 00:05:34,767 I do not care. I said you may go. 98 00:05:34,774 --> 00:05:38,244 I'd rather stay a while, so at least he thought it went well, 99 00:05:38,236 --> 00:05:40,106 if you don't mind. And if you do, 100 00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:41,993 I cordially invite you to my execution 101 00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:44,280 and wish we'd known each other better. 102 00:05:46,327 --> 00:05:47,407 Fine. 103 00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:49,412 Just... 104 00:05:50,248 --> 00:05:51,748 sit there. 105 00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:55,246 I thank you. 106 00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:02,393 We were listening. Is that your lover? 107 00:06:02,385 --> 00:06:05,295 - Apparently. - Mmm, he is very good-looking. 108 00:06:05,304 --> 00:06:07,104 - I did not notice. - Hmm. 109 00:06:07,098 --> 00:06:09,808 It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover, 110 00:06:09,809 --> 00:06:11,599 like I am an animal to be serviced. 111 00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,152 Well, you would be serviced well. 112 00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:16,106 He's a Voronsky, they are well-known lovers. 113 00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:19,939 - Really? - Mm. His father was legendary. 114 00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:21,776 Fuck. 115 00:06:22,864 --> 00:06:26,784 The very week we start our adventure, Peter gifts you this man. 116 00:06:26,784 --> 00:06:29,124 He is well-known to insert spies into situations. 117 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,210 I've seen him do it before. Oh, fuck. Maybe he knows. 118 00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:34,786 And I was there and we had our pamphlets everywhere. Jesus Christ. 119 00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,002 - Jesus Christ-- - Orlo, relax. 120 00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:38,093 Peter does not know. 121 00:06:38,087 --> 00:06:39,507 He could not. 122 00:06:39,505 --> 00:06:41,045 I will give him back. 123 00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:43,259 How? He's Peter's gift. 124 00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:46,763 - Cleverly. 125 00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:51,139 Empress, you wanted to know when the dresses for the ladies' tea arrived. 126 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,980 - Oh, it's great'. 127 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,979 That is very nice. 128 00:06:57,857 --> 00:06:59,777 - Hmm. 129 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,490 - Oh. 130 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,120 Empress, do you like it? 131 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:12,407 Mm. It looks marvelous. You will stand out. 132 00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:13,873 As I always do. 133 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,125 Come on. 134 00:07:25,718 --> 00:07:28,468 It's very big. Did it have to be so big? 135 00:07:28,471 --> 00:07:32,021 Of course. Your father was an exceptional man. 136 00:07:32,892 --> 00:07:36,442 I remember when I was 17 and he'd look at me at dinner. 137 00:07:36,437 --> 00:07:39,937 It was like the very air around me thinned, and I could not breathe. 138 00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:43,948 One day, he just walked into the room I was in, and... 139 00:07:43,945 --> 00:07:46,405 locked eyes on mine, and I knew. 140 00:07:46,405 --> 00:07:49,025 And I just lifted up my dress and bent over the table, 141 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,083 and he came and took me. 142 00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,745 My first-ever time. 143 00:07:55,456 --> 00:07:56,576 God. 144 00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:59,043 I'm wet at the thought of it. 145 00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:03,706 You perhaps did not need to hear that story. 146 00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:06,014 I knew it. I was there. 147 00:08:06,008 --> 00:08:07,508 What? 148 00:08:07,510 --> 00:08:08,850 In the room. 149 00:08:08,845 --> 00:08:11,555 - Playing soldiers in the corner. - Really? 150 00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:13,886 - Mm. - How strange. 151 00:08:13,891 --> 00:08:15,521 Fucking suit's too tight. 152 00:08:15,518 --> 00:08:18,398 You, too, will grow into a great leader. 153 00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:21,938 He didn't think so. 154 00:08:21,941 --> 00:08:24,401 He challenged you, that is all. 155 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,239 Meet it. 156 00:08:28,406 --> 00:08:31,576 - It's too big. 157 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,076 Fucking thing. 158 00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:42,803 Know anything about this lover the emperor has given Catherine? 159 00:08:42,795 --> 00:08:47,835 - What? Lover? - That is immoral and disgusting. 160 00:08:47,842 --> 00:08:48,972 Poor child. 161 00:08:49,719 --> 00:08:51,219 So you did not know? 162 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:54,020 It is not a gambit of some sort? 163 00:08:54,015 --> 00:08:56,175 - A spy on her? 164 00:08:56,184 --> 00:08:58,394 The Emperor'. Empress'. 165 00:09:01,063 --> 00:09:03,733 - Thank you for the gift. - Hmm. Did you try him yet? 166 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:07,533 It is very kind, but I do not need a lover. I have you. 167 00:09:07,528 --> 00:09:10,108 Our fucking is as dull as a beaver chomping at a log. 168 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,954 You need a lover. It will cheer you. 169 00:09:11,949 --> 00:09:14,159 Grigor, how happy does it make me to fuck your wife? 170 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,250 It seems to be a constant source ofjoy. 171 00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,115 And that is exactly what I wish for you. 172 00:09:19,165 --> 00:09:20,625 Here they come. Shut up. 173 00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,921 - Give me some of your medals. - What? 174 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,710 Give me some of your fucking medals. 175 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:38,483 Welcome home. 176 00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:42,726 The Russian fighting man is the greatest in the world. 177 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:47,110 I have created a rosemary blini, stuffed with chicken hearts, 178 00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:49,489 representing those evil, blond Swedish fucks. 179 00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:51,527 We will munch on their tasty hearts. 180 00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:53,490 - Huzzah'. - And then, 181 00:09:53,491 --> 00:09:59,001 wash it down with a black pepper vodka that my father loved, as he loved you all. 182 00:09:58,996 --> 00:10:02,246 Huzzah. To Peter the Great. 183 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,047 To me. Peter the... 184 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,840 Me'. 185 00:10:12,843 --> 00:10:14,603 Huzzah'. 186 00:10:14,595 --> 00:10:18,175 Gentlemen, while the Swedes tend their wounded for a day or two 187 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,022 before we crush them properly, 188 00:10:20,017 --> 00:10:23,437 we will eat and drink and celebrate our greatness. 189 00:10:23,437 --> 00:10:26,357 - Huzzah. - Huzzah'. 190 00:10:29,026 --> 00:10:31,446 - It went well, did you think, Grigor? - It was a triumph. 191 00:10:31,445 --> 00:10:34,445 If I might brief you on the military briefing, sir. 192 00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:37,198 I am an instinctive military genius as my father before me. 193 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,291 - I need no briefing. - Yes, indeed. 194 00:10:40,288 --> 00:10:43,248 I have, um... come to understand that you've 195 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:46,089 gifted a lover to the empress, sir. 196 00:10:46,085 --> 00:10:49,415 I would like to offer my services in this regard, 197 00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:53,262 if this one does not work out and a replacement is required. 198 00:10:56,429 --> 00:10:58,389 - Grigor, did you...? - I did. 199 00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,904 - That's rich, Velementov. - Oh, bravo, sir. 200 00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:08,977 - I feel, uh... - Can you imagine? 201 00:11:08,983 --> 00:11:14,243 This warthog with his tiny cock that spurts only vodka on top of the-- 202 00:11:19,035 --> 00:11:22,325 You have cheered me no end. Bravo. 203 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:25,420 Indeed. A remarkable jape from me. 204 00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:35,008 Aunt Elizabeth. 205 00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:37,299 Darling Catherine. 206 00:11:37,303 --> 00:11:39,933 - Look at that smile. - Mm. 207 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:43,390 - It's a lifesaver, isn't it? - Indeed. 208 00:11:43,392 --> 00:11:45,142 Look at these fish. 209 00:11:46,562 --> 00:11:49,522 I used to watch them, thinking them quite content. 210 00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:52,613 Now I realize they've gone completely fucking mad. 211 00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:55,822 Who's Ivan? 212 00:11:57,615 --> 00:11:59,075 Who mentioned dear Ivan? 213 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:03,544 I overheard someone. I don't know who. 214 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,540 I am still new, and I'm rather slow to learn names. 215 00:12:08,209 --> 00:12:11,499 But it did seem a somewhat thrilling mystery. 216 00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:20,886 As you were. 217 00:12:31,607 --> 00:12:33,777 I have the only key. 218 00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,543 - Ivan'. - Lizzie'. 219 00:12:43,536 --> 00:12:45,866 - Cake'. 220 00:12:47,164 --> 00:12:48,584 Oh. 221 00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:53,127 - This is Catherine. - The empress. 222 00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:55,760 Lovely to meet you. 223 00:12:57,925 --> 00:12:59,255 Do you like my pictures? 224 00:13:12,273 --> 00:13:13,863 Marvelous. 225 00:13:20,698 --> 00:13:23,078 Getting so big. 226 00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:26,912 We must go now. 227 00:13:27,538 --> 00:13:29,288 Is Peter coming to see me? 228 00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:33,247 - He's very busy. - I won't stab him. 229 00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:36,799 I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere. 230 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:40,591 Of course you haven't. You're far too sweet. 231 00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:42,388 My mother? 232 00:13:43,596 --> 00:13:44,756 Still abroad. 233 00:13:44,763 --> 00:13:48,313 Catherine, come visit me again. 234 00:13:48,809 --> 00:13:49,769 I will. 235 00:13:49,768 --> 00:13:51,398 Fucking promise it'. 236 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:54,225 Darling'. Darling'. Rude. 237 00:13:54,231 --> 00:13:58,991 Sorry. I just want someone to play with. 238 00:13:58,986 --> 00:14:01,356 Of course you do, darling. 239 00:14:01,363 --> 00:14:02,913 I'll be back later. 240 00:14:14,168 --> 00:14:16,798 - He is a danger to us. 241 00:14:17,296 --> 00:14:21,006 I suppose we should kill him, but he is sort of family, and we are sentimental. 242 00:14:22,092 --> 00:14:25,052 But now there is you, and soon an heir. 243 00:14:25,054 --> 00:14:26,604 Thank you for showing me. 244 00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:29,177 Oh, you are my family. I will show you everything. 245 00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:31,273 Including how to find happiness here, 246 00:14:31,268 --> 00:14:34,188 and you will bear us an heir and strengthen our line. 247 00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:37,650 But you must also know where danger lies. 248 00:14:38,943 --> 00:14:39,943 Oh. 249 00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:42,528 If you see who was talking about him, 250 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:43,990 you point them out to me. 251 00:14:43,989 --> 00:14:45,779 Indeed. 252 00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,117 - Huzzah'. 253 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:52,669 - Gentlemen, let us begin. 254 00:14:52,665 --> 00:14:55,075 The Swede-- First, a toast. 255 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:59,634 To our friend and leader, the emperor's father, Peter the Great. 256 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:01,970 Huzzah'. 257 00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:06,295 I have a new one, in his honor. 258 00:15:07,012 --> 00:15:08,892 Booyah'. Booyah'. 259 00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:13,519 I also have the Swede's nose who scratched me, in a bag'. 260 00:15:13,519 --> 00:15:15,729 Booyah'. Booyah'. 261 00:15:15,729 --> 00:15:18,399 To our brave Russian fighting men from my battalion, 262 00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:23,239 who have won a battle on the field, opening up a chance of victory'. 263 00:15:23,237 --> 00:15:25,407 - No, if we-- 264 00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,906 My battalion, outnumbered two to one, 265 00:15:27,908 --> 00:15:31,038 ran these fuckers into a ravine, 266 00:15:31,036 --> 00:15:32,866 and then we just waited above them for days, 267 00:15:32,871 --> 00:15:35,421 till the fuckers went mad and shot themselves. 268 00:15:43,424 --> 00:15:45,554 Can we start? 269 00:15:47,761 --> 00:15:48,851 Indeed. 270 00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:52,732 Focus up. The Swedes are here, 271 00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:55,185 here, and here. 272 00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:57,805 - Now, I suggest-- - Give me that. 273 00:15:58,814 --> 00:16:01,864 When I started this war against Sweden, it was because... 274 00:16:03,694 --> 00:16:06,074 Well, my father beat them, and I... 275 00:16:07,364 --> 00:16:10,334 And the Swedes are fucking depraved animals, 276 00:16:10,326 --> 00:16:11,616 as is well known. 277 00:16:11,619 --> 00:16:15,369 Blond, moose buggering, lingonberry gorging, humorless fucks, 278 00:16:15,372 --> 00:16:17,632 with a seaport we would do well to have. 279 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:21,295 But then, instead of winning, you allow us to be pushed back, 280 00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,665 so they are now in Russia itself. 281 00:16:23,672 --> 00:16:26,302 It's a fucking mess, to summarize. 282 00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,010 So I have a plan. 283 00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:33,890 I say we... 284 00:16:35,392 --> 00:16:38,312 come from here, through here, 285 00:16:38,312 --> 00:16:40,942 split our forces in four, all at once, 286 00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:43,029 probably at night so they cannot see us. 287 00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:44,605 Maybe we have horses, 288 00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:46,780 although they are noisy, so maybe we just run there. 289 00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:49,369 Then, at dawn, when they are breakfasting with cock in one hand 290 00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:51,735 and brioche in other, we attack and destroy them, 291 00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:53,742 winning the war in one morning. 292 00:16:53,744 --> 00:16:56,044 Huzzah'. 293 00:16:59,124 --> 00:17:00,964 - It's an interesting idea. - It is genius. 294 00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:03,209 Pick it apart if you can, you fat fuck. 295 00:17:03,212 --> 00:17:05,342 Huh. Booyah'. 296 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:06,629 Well... 297 00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:11,217 Sir, this is a river, 1 1 feet deep, 298 00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:14,560 which you wish our men to cross. 299 00:17:18,394 --> 00:17:19,484 Boats. 300 00:17:22,481 --> 00:17:23,771 Carry boats? 301 00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:25,821 Yes. 302 00:17:25,818 --> 00:17:29,778 May slow us down somewhat, sir, making us susceptible to attack. 303 00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:33,490 Also, this is an open plain. 304 00:17:33,492 --> 00:17:36,372 It cannot be approached by stealth. 305 00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:42,500 At night, wearing black. 306 00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:44,881 Or green, if the grass is tall. 307 00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:54,968 The emperor has given us much food for thought. 308 00:17:56,557 --> 00:17:59,637 I will lay out my plan and incorporate 309 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,523 some of the emperor's fine thoughts. 310 00:18:05,441 --> 00:18:08,441 - Huzzah. - Huzzah'. 311 00:18:12,364 --> 00:18:14,584 Just sound it out. 312 00:18:14,575 --> 00:18:17,195 Ti... gers? 313 00:18:17,202 --> 00:18:19,962 - Tigers... - Yes. 314 00:18:19,955 --> 00:18:23,495 ...like to eat... people. 315 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,710 - Yes'. - Thank you. 316 00:18:40,768 --> 00:18:44,648 You could at least unwrap him before you send him back. 317 00:18:46,982 --> 00:18:49,862 I have far more important things to do. 318 00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:52,280 Being empress is wasted on you. 319 00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:56,701 - I met Ivan. - Fuck. 320 00:18:58,035 --> 00:19:00,495 - Where? - In the palace'. 321 00:19:00,496 --> 00:19:02,706 Locked away and heavily guarded. 322 00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,496 So we need the military. 323 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:09,170 In fact, why not Velementov himself, the leader of the military? 324 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,383 He has a shine for me, I believe. 325 00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:13,221 The drooling gives it away, I think. 326 00:19:13,217 --> 00:19:16,387 We must tell Orlo. He must work on them too. 327 00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:38,365 Oh. Hello. 328 00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:40,367 What did my husband say to you? 329 00:19:40,369 --> 00:19:44,289 He said I was to make you happy, said it was important to him. 330 00:19:44,289 --> 00:19:46,379 - And that is all? - There was more. 331 00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:49,665 He said if you showed any animation at all while we were doing it, 332 00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:51,510 emit a noise, stir a limb, puff a breath, 333 00:19:51,505 --> 00:19:53,255 he would give me a thousand rubles, 334 00:19:53,257 --> 00:19:56,387 bronze my manhood and put it on display in a museum. 335 00:19:57,553 --> 00:19:59,223 And what did you say to that? 336 00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:02,521 I said I thought it would just be nice if Russia had a museum. 337 00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,019 I see. 338 00:20:07,729 --> 00:20:10,939 And why did he choose you? You are friends, I assume? 339 00:20:10,941 --> 00:20:12,991 I have met him twice, through my father. 340 00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:14,645 The famous lover. 341 00:20:14,653 --> 00:20:16,993 It is to undersell him. He was a fascinating man, 342 00:20:16,989 --> 00:20:19,449 who loved women, music, wine, 343 00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:23,619 and sitting a field watching starlings swirl at sunset with his son. 344 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:26,580 But the ladies' man seems to be what has stuck. 345 00:20:26,582 --> 00:20:28,712 So you are a professional lover also. 346 00:20:30,752 --> 00:20:32,672 Do not laugh at me. 347 00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:34,721 I will share the joke and then we will laugh together. 348 00:20:34,715 --> 00:20:39,175 As I take it you do not desire a lover, I will let you in on my secret. 349 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,893 I have only had sex once, 350 00:20:41,889 --> 00:20:43,719 with my drunk and very sweet, 351 00:20:43,724 --> 00:20:46,394 very plump cousin who rather forced herself upon me. 352 00:20:46,393 --> 00:20:50,813 It was not unpleasant, I suppose, but I really had no idea what I was doing. 353 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,364 - Your father did not educate you? - Not really. 354 00:20:53,942 --> 00:20:56,612 He was a big believer in discovery and adventure, 355 00:20:56,612 --> 00:20:58,742 and said he would not deprive me of either. 356 00:21:00,032 --> 00:21:01,372 Do you aim to charm me? 357 00:21:02,075 --> 00:21:03,985 I would like not to be killed, of course. 358 00:21:03,994 --> 00:21:05,544 But I cannot guess what will charm you, 359 00:21:05,537 --> 00:21:07,077 as I cannot really guess what will save me. 360 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,630 One must simply live and hope it goes well and is fun while one does it. 361 00:21:12,044 --> 00:21:14,174 Unless I should try to charm you. 362 00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:17,633 Actually, I will try. 363 00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:20,803 It'll be fun, albeit possibly fatal if it goes awry. 364 00:21:22,095 --> 00:21:25,305 I know, a lover should, of course, bring a gift. 365 00:21:25,307 --> 00:21:26,637 But you have not. 366 00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:28,807 I have indeed. 367 00:21:33,023 --> 00:21:34,573 You have made an error. 368 00:21:34,566 --> 00:21:37,106 It is not a gift. It is a peach. 369 00:21:37,694 --> 00:21:40,204 When you eat it, you should put it into your mouth, 370 00:21:40,197 --> 00:21:42,407 bite it once, tip your head back, 371 00:21:42,407 --> 00:21:45,447 and let the juice run into your throat. 372 00:21:47,663 --> 00:21:49,003 I know how to eat a peach. 373 00:21:49,706 --> 00:21:52,166 I will never underestimate you again. 374 00:22:05,138 --> 00:22:08,598 Mmm'. Extraordinary'. 375 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,100 The juice runs in and pools at the throat, 376 00:22:12,104 --> 00:22:15,694 and then gushes down, like a waterfall of sweetness. 377 00:22:25,784 --> 00:22:26,914 You may stay the night. 378 00:22:30,122 --> 00:22:31,252 Sleep on the chaise. 379 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,670 Then in the morning, I shall go to Peter, 380 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:35,877 thank him for you, say you were pleasant. 381 00:22:35,877 --> 00:22:37,457 You shall be safe, and we will be done. 382 00:22:38,130 --> 00:22:39,130 Grand. 383 00:22:45,721 --> 00:22:46,851 Come on'. 384 00:22:50,934 --> 00:22:54,234 - So he is gone? The spy? - Yes, I said I would. 385 00:22:54,229 --> 00:22:58,439 Regardless, we must make some headway with the military. 386 00:22:58,442 --> 00:23:02,282 Not lay it out proper, but begin preparing the ground. 387 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:04,159 Finally some action. 388 00:23:04,156 --> 00:23:06,026 Is this the best time? Uh... 389 00:23:06,992 --> 00:23:09,912 In vino veritas, Orlo. Go forth. 390 00:23:25,302 --> 00:23:26,342 Fuckers. 391 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:30,890 And who paints a river green? Hmm? Who does that? 392 00:23:30,891 --> 00:23:33,101 Blue, they are fucking blue, traditionally. 393 00:23:33,685 --> 00:23:36,145 Why don't we play some music? 394 00:23:36,146 --> 00:23:38,016 I need a name, too. 395 00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,532 Peter the... 396 00:23:42,569 --> 00:23:44,109 - What can I be? - Uh... 397 00:23:45,113 --> 00:23:46,363 Peter the Fun. 398 00:23:46,364 --> 00:23:47,534 Peter the Masterful. 399 00:23:48,241 --> 00:23:51,201 Uh, Peter the Terrible. 400 00:23:51,203 --> 00:23:53,293 I want something inspiring, Arkady. 401 00:23:53,288 --> 00:23:56,038 It is inspiring. It inspires fear. 402 00:23:56,041 --> 00:23:57,581 And has a rich history, 403 00:23:57,584 --> 00:23:59,804 everyone loves the terribles. 404 00:23:59,795 --> 00:24:03,375 Just fuck off, all of you. I have my speech tomorrow. 405 00:24:27,948 --> 00:24:29,908 Oh. Velementov? 406 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:35,084 I thought this was the library. I'm completely lost in this palace. 407 00:24:35,831 --> 00:24:39,421 Empress, it is an honor. 408 00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:42,877 Perhaps it is fate. I have wanted to talk to you. 409 00:24:42,879 --> 00:24:44,299 And I, you. Good God. 410 00:24:45,215 --> 00:24:49,885 You're luminous, luminous, with luminosity. 411 00:24:50,595 --> 00:24:52,345 Why, thank you. 412 00:24:52,347 --> 00:24:55,927 - You remind me of my father. - I'm, uh... 413 00:24:55,934 --> 00:24:58,814 I'm younger, I'm sure, and, uh... 414 00:24:59,437 --> 00:25:01,517 and in the prime of manhood. 415 00:25:03,733 --> 00:25:05,993 Uh... drink? 416 00:25:09,739 --> 00:25:12,409 He was a serious military man. 417 00:25:12,409 --> 00:25:16,869 Uh... often frustrated by the leaders of the country. 418 00:25:16,872 --> 00:25:20,582 Indeed. Then we are alike. 419 00:25:20,584 --> 00:25:25,014 Exactly. A good military man is happy to spill men's blood, 420 00:25:25,005 --> 00:25:27,125 but not waste men's blood. 421 00:25:27,132 --> 00:25:28,552 Have I read you wrong? 422 00:25:29,092 --> 00:25:31,552 You are... vision. 423 00:25:35,307 --> 00:25:38,097 Your skin is... 424 00:25:41,605 --> 00:25:44,145 - Are you weeping? - A little, yes. 425 00:25:45,150 --> 00:25:47,110 Your beauty hurts. 426 00:25:48,028 --> 00:25:49,858 - Right. - I... 427 00:25:49,863 --> 00:25:53,453 If we had a philosophy, a criteria for action, 428 00:25:53,450 --> 00:25:56,120 I just wonder what a difference that would make. 429 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,249 - Mm. - I feel a kinship with you. 430 00:25:59,247 --> 00:26:01,457 - I do, too. - Ooh'. 431 00:26:01,458 --> 00:26:04,418 Aah'. Get off'. 432 00:26:04,419 --> 00:26:07,629 Empress, I will unprise my member. 433 00:26:08,131 --> 00:26:11,261 Oh, God. You will get off me'. 434 00:26:19,142 --> 00:26:22,482 - What is that... wet? 435 00:26:22,479 --> 00:26:26,189 - I pissed myself. - Oh'. Ugh'. 436 00:26:26,191 --> 00:26:29,441 Let me lie here a little and gather my energies, 437 00:26:29,444 --> 00:26:34,374 before I unleash a storm of passion'. 438 00:26:34,366 --> 00:26:36,366 - Fucker'. - Ooh'. 439 00:26:46,253 --> 00:26:48,133 Get... them... down'. 440 00:27:15,031 --> 00:27:17,951 Anton. How goes it? 441 00:27:17,951 --> 00:27:20,831 - Disastrously. - How was the briefing? 442 00:27:20,829 --> 00:27:22,499 Interesting, I heard. 443 00:27:22,497 --> 00:27:26,627 - The guy's a fucking idiot. - Shh. You are drunk. 444 00:27:29,546 --> 00:27:31,046 Have you met the new empress? 445 00:27:31,047 --> 00:27:33,467 - I heard she's a bitch. - No, no, no. Not at all. 446 00:27:34,009 --> 00:27:36,339 She is one of a kind. 447 00:27:36,344 --> 00:27:38,264 I will make an introduction. 448 00:28:03,288 --> 00:28:07,078 Shall I dress you for bed or just oil you down? 449 00:28:09,002 --> 00:28:11,632 - How was your evening? - Avoided rape. 450 00:28:11,629 --> 00:28:14,049 - You? - Same. 451 00:28:14,716 --> 00:28:18,296 If anyone ever invents something easier than buttons, we are all in trouble. 452 00:28:23,266 --> 00:28:24,346 You may go. 453 00:28:44,329 --> 00:28:47,959 But if we put the pavilion near the river, 454 00:28:47,957 --> 00:28:51,207 we can just laze and watch, 455 00:28:51,211 --> 00:28:55,421 and then just fall off it, naked, into the cool water. 456 00:28:55,423 --> 00:28:57,093 Poetry. 457 00:28:57,884 --> 00:29:01,644 I was gonna ask him to let us go there next month for a few weeks. 458 00:29:01,638 --> 00:29:04,348 - He will not. - We can ask. 459 00:29:05,266 --> 00:29:06,806 Of course. 460 00:29:13,858 --> 00:29:17,198 Hey. You're up. Good. 461 00:29:18,113 --> 00:29:19,493 Uh... 462 00:29:28,206 --> 00:29:30,246 - Are you all right? - Of course. 463 00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:32,290 Do you need to talk? 464 00:29:33,670 --> 00:29:35,090 I'll just sleep. 465 00:29:41,803 --> 00:29:43,263 Fuckers. 466 00:30:04,534 --> 00:30:07,454 Ah, my dearest Grigor, there you are. 467 00:30:08,621 --> 00:30:10,041 We did not wish to wake you. 468 00:30:11,249 --> 00:30:12,749 Kindness itself. 469 00:30:14,335 --> 00:30:15,585 You have a loose hair, actually. 470 00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:19,304 Ow. Brutal. 471 00:30:19,299 --> 00:30:23,549 - Apologies, but it is a big day. - Yes it is. I feel good. 472 00:30:24,262 --> 00:30:27,182 You're my dearest friends. Embrace me. 473 00:30:42,322 --> 00:30:45,992 Grigor and I thought we might go to the country, 474 00:30:45,992 --> 00:30:48,582 - to our estate for a month. - Right. 475 00:30:48,578 --> 00:30:50,408 We have some building to check on. 476 00:30:50,413 --> 00:30:53,423 And we'd love to bring you back the first quinces of the season. 477 00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:55,883 All right. Sure. 478 00:31:00,256 --> 00:31:02,126 What are you writing? 479 00:31:02,759 --> 00:31:06,009 Nothing. Just... a letter. 480 00:31:07,138 --> 00:31:08,388 You must miss home. 481 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,230 Yes. I do. 482 00:31:13,228 --> 00:31:16,768 - Tea, sir. - Thank you, Vlad. 483 00:31:16,773 --> 00:31:19,033 Is Vlad short for Vladimir or long for Vla? 484 00:31:19,025 --> 00:31:21,235 - Oh'. Aah'. - Ah-ha. 485 00:31:21,236 --> 00:31:22,316 Oh. 486 00:31:22,987 --> 00:31:26,617 - I'm so sorry. - We cannot blame you for gravity, Vlad. 487 00:31:26,616 --> 00:31:30,996 - For...? What is...? - This is gravity, Vlad. 488 00:31:33,331 --> 00:31:36,831 Everything comes down, Vlad. Unseen forces at work. 489 00:31:36,834 --> 00:31:38,594 What about a plate? 490 00:31:39,462 --> 00:31:41,172 Gravity. 491 00:31:41,172 --> 00:31:42,472 Or... a feather? 492 00:31:42,465 --> 00:31:45,125 Oh, well, they fight a good fight. 493 00:31:45,134 --> 00:31:48,764 - But alas... 494 00:31:48,763 --> 00:31:50,183 - Vlad? - Gravity. 495 00:31:51,266 --> 00:31:53,516 Oh. 496 00:31:56,771 --> 00:31:59,771 I shall go to breakfast and speak to Peter, 497 00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:02,440 and then you may go. 498 00:32:03,444 --> 00:32:07,074 Might I suggest we perform a small playlet to aid your game? 499 00:32:07,073 --> 00:32:10,413 - A playlet? - To convince him it went well. 500 00:32:11,077 --> 00:32:14,407 - I hate all the pretend at court. - You must treat it as a foolish game. 501 00:32:14,414 --> 00:32:16,674 The viewer is your quarry and when they're convinced, 502 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:18,286 you have won and have made a fool of them. 503 00:32:18,835 --> 00:32:20,125 That's a victory for you. 504 00:32:20,712 --> 00:32:23,632 It is... possibly helpful. 505 00:32:24,591 --> 00:32:25,841 Hmm. 506 00:32:37,562 --> 00:32:40,652 - A giggle is good. - A giggle? 507 00:32:40,648 --> 00:32:42,188 It is light and fun. 508 00:32:42,191 --> 00:32:44,241 I am not six. I do not giggle. 509 00:32:44,235 --> 00:32:46,605 I'll do it, then. 510 00:32:49,449 --> 00:32:51,029 That is a preposterous sound. 511 00:32:51,034 --> 00:32:53,044 Leo, sit in the hallway. I will see you shortly. 512 00:33:02,879 --> 00:33:04,919 So he has made you happy it seems? 513 00:33:05,590 --> 00:33:07,010 Indeed. 514 00:33:08,885 --> 00:33:10,005 So? 515 00:33:10,762 --> 00:33:11,932 Thank you. 516 00:33:13,056 --> 00:33:14,176 Leo? 517 00:33:16,684 --> 00:33:19,654 You have made the empress happy. Good job. 518 00:33:20,855 --> 00:33:24,025 That's for fucking my wife. But well done. Bravo. 519 00:33:25,652 --> 00:33:27,242 It is done, so he may go now. 520 00:33:28,196 --> 00:33:29,196 What? 521 00:33:30,114 --> 00:33:32,334 We spent a pleasant night, 522 00:33:32,325 --> 00:33:35,575 and I thank you profusely for the gift. 523 00:33:35,578 --> 00:33:37,208 So he may go. 524 00:33:37,205 --> 00:33:40,375 Oh, so he cannot have made you that happy if you want him to go. 525 00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:44,415 A pleasant night? What the fuck is a pleasant night? 526 00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:45,960 And now you wish him to go? 527 00:33:45,963 --> 00:33:48,223 That is a fucking failure'. Leo'. 528 00:33:49,342 --> 00:33:51,512 I am very disappointed in you, as would your father be. 529 00:33:51,511 --> 00:33:53,971 So sorry, sir. 530 00:33:57,141 --> 00:33:59,101 Stop'. I did not know I could keep him. 531 00:33:59,102 --> 00:34:03,022 - What? - I thought it was a gift, for a night. 532 00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:07,360 I did not realize it could be ongoing. 533 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,530 Oh, it is marvelous to keep him. 534 00:34:11,531 --> 00:34:14,871 Huzzah. I thank you, husband. 535 00:34:14,867 --> 00:34:17,247 Right. Okay. 536 00:34:22,709 --> 00:34:25,249 Do it well or I will cut your perfect cock off, 537 00:34:25,253 --> 00:34:28,723 as it is a useless appendage if you cannot use it to bring joy. 538 00:34:30,758 --> 00:34:34,298 - Zeus'.Come on. 539 00:34:38,349 --> 00:34:43,349 - Are you all right? - Fine. 540 00:34:43,354 --> 00:34:46,694 Oh. Eggs. 541 00:34:57,118 --> 00:34:59,498 God, this is delicious. 542 00:34:59,495 --> 00:35:01,035 So what is the rest of your day? 543 00:35:02,373 --> 00:35:03,963 How can you be so sanguine? 544 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:06,248 Do you not wish to break his head open? 545 00:35:06,252 --> 00:35:08,762 No, I wish to enjoy my breakfast, which is what I'm doing. 546 00:35:08,755 --> 00:35:10,295 May I have some coffee, please? 547 00:35:10,298 --> 00:35:12,298 He just beat you. 548 00:35:12,925 --> 00:35:14,335 It was minutes ago. 549 00:35:15,428 --> 00:35:18,508 - You are baffling. - Thank you for saving me, by the way. 550 00:35:18,514 --> 00:35:19,894 You don't need to do that. 551 00:35:19,891 --> 00:35:21,931 Truth is, he'll do as he wishes with me-- 552 00:35:21,934 --> 00:35:25,524 hang me, flay me, or take me hunting and for a nice lunch. 553 00:35:25,521 --> 00:35:27,321 One cannot let oneself live in fear of that. 554 00:35:27,315 --> 00:35:29,145 He can kick me, 555 00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:32,360 but I will not let him rob me of my enjoyment of this egg, 556 00:35:32,361 --> 00:35:35,071 that coffee, or this day. 557 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:38,830 I will not let fear take my life from me. 558 00:35:39,994 --> 00:35:41,374 I understand entirely. 559 00:35:41,370 --> 00:35:43,410 Ladies' tea is about to begin. 560 00:35:44,207 --> 00:35:46,247 You inexplicably wanted to go? 561 00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:49,300 Indeed, I do. And you shall join me. 562 00:35:49,295 --> 00:35:52,165 - Oh, I'd rather not. - And I'd rather so. 563 00:35:54,217 --> 00:35:55,967 Leo, you should probably come. 564 00:35:55,968 --> 00:35:58,968 Be near, in case he wonders why you're not with me. 565 00:36:13,277 --> 00:36:14,487 Mm. 566 00:36:27,917 --> 00:36:31,337 Lady Svenska. 567 00:36:31,337 --> 00:36:34,837 - Uh-- - How wonderful you look'. 568 00:36:36,384 --> 00:36:38,974 - I-- 569 00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:46,440 You will see she has a love for Russia and a fresh mind that inspires. 570 00:36:46,435 --> 00:36:49,435 All right. Antonia'. 571 00:36:49,438 --> 00:36:51,228 My darling, what has happened? 572 00:36:51,232 --> 00:36:53,482 That fucking bitch empress has happened. 573 00:36:54,694 --> 00:36:56,494 Rash, my dear. 574 00:36:56,487 --> 00:36:58,947 - Exceptional, but rash. 575 00:37:02,952 --> 00:37:05,872 Well, I have never enjoyed a ladies' tea party more. 576 00:37:06,998 --> 00:37:08,248 Thank you. 577 00:37:20,052 --> 00:37:21,472 We can't talk. 578 00:37:21,470 --> 00:37:24,970 - We can. - Aah'. 579 00:37:24,974 --> 00:37:27,024 - It is fine. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 580 00:37:27,018 --> 00:37:29,978 I thought you were getting rid of him'. We cannot trust him. 581 00:37:29,979 --> 00:37:32,569 I tried. Peter will kill him. 582 00:37:32,565 --> 00:37:34,775 And if he is a spy, Peter will kill us. 583 00:37:35,359 --> 00:37:37,449 You would have me let him die? 584 00:37:37,445 --> 00:37:40,235 We are trying to end meaningless bloodshed in Russia. 585 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,489 If it is him or us, yes. 586 00:37:42,491 --> 00:37:44,371 I mean, that is the sort of decision-making 587 00:37:44,368 --> 00:37:47,328 you are going to have to make if we are to do this. Machiavelli. 588 00:37:47,330 --> 00:37:49,620 I told you, I disagree with that translation. 589 00:37:49,624 --> 00:37:52,004 I don't think he's a spy. He's too good-looking. 590 00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:54,381 Well, you'll forgive me, you and your family's political instincts 591 00:37:54,378 --> 00:37:55,668 are not something I am in awe of. 592 00:37:55,671 --> 00:37:57,841 Fuck you, you virgin coward prick'. 593 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,090 - Enough'. Marial. 594 00:38:01,093 --> 00:38:04,853 I-- Colonel Svenska could have been an ally, 595 00:38:04,847 --> 00:38:07,677 but now we have lost him and half the ladies. 596 00:38:07,683 --> 00:38:09,483 - It was worth it. - I agree. 597 00:38:09,477 --> 00:38:11,647 You know, some attention to thinking two steps ahead, 598 00:38:11,646 --> 00:38:13,806 rather than one, would be advantageous. 599 00:38:13,814 --> 00:38:16,154 I did. I ascertained a dress fabric for the event, 600 00:38:16,150 --> 00:38:20,360 and had the entire room redone in that, Orlo. That is two steps. 601 00:38:20,363 --> 00:38:23,243 I do not understand this recklessness in you. 602 00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:27,200 It is called courage, Orlo. You will gather it as we go. 603 00:38:30,081 --> 00:38:31,581 Orlo'. 604 00:38:40,049 --> 00:38:41,129 How is it? 605 00:38:42,385 --> 00:38:43,795 Being empress? 606 00:38:45,763 --> 00:38:47,773 No one has ever asked me that. 607 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,350 It is... 608 00:38:52,228 --> 00:38:53,648 complex. 609 00:38:56,691 --> 00:38:59,691 - May I speak freely? - I suppose. 610 00:39:01,529 --> 00:39:04,069 I shall entitle it, "My Impressions of the Empress." 611 00:39:06,158 --> 00:39:07,578 You do not like Peter. 612 00:39:08,619 --> 00:39:09,789 You do not like it here. 613 00:39:10,746 --> 00:39:13,246 You have a sadness in you, and worst of all, 614 00:39:14,208 --> 00:39:16,208 you do not seem to know how to have fun. 615 00:39:16,961 --> 00:39:19,341 Fun is not on the table. 616 00:39:20,923 --> 00:39:23,843 He mentioned the country again. 617 00:39:23,843 --> 00:39:25,513 Peter may come for some of it. 618 00:39:26,679 --> 00:39:27,929 Does that mean all of it? 619 00:39:29,390 --> 00:39:32,560 Did you see what the empress did to Antonia? 620 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,190 It is a level of bitch one seldom encounters, kind of brilliant. 621 00:39:36,188 --> 00:39:38,608 - I thought it was funny. - Well, I do not. 622 00:39:38,607 --> 00:39:41,777 And feel free to suck your own cock for the rest of the month, Arkady. 623 00:39:41,777 --> 00:39:44,697 - She needs to be taught a lesson. 624 00:39:44,697 --> 00:39:47,987 Perhaps Antonia needs to learn a lesson. She is not empress. 625 00:39:47,992 --> 00:39:50,202 We had open hearts. 626 00:39:50,202 --> 00:39:53,622 They are shut tight. She will learn that. 627 00:39:58,294 --> 00:40:01,094 Pretend, pretend, pretend. 628 00:40:11,974 --> 00:40:14,144 You did not need to do that to Leo. 629 00:40:14,143 --> 00:40:17,153 I suppose not. Is he coughing up blood? 630 00:40:17,813 --> 00:40:19,363 - No. - Then he's fine. 631 00:40:19,356 --> 00:40:21,646 Coughing blood is generally the problem sign. 632 00:40:24,528 --> 00:40:26,988 - Are you all right? - Mm-hmm. 633 00:40:27,698 --> 00:40:29,698 Nervous about making the speech? 634 00:40:29,700 --> 00:40:31,830 No. Yes. 635 00:40:32,369 --> 00:40:33,449 Fuck. 636 00:40:40,836 --> 00:40:42,876 Is he all these things? 637 00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:45,970 Or perhaps not, and that is why you are nervous. 638 00:40:45,966 --> 00:40:50,546 He was all these things. He was... extraordinary. 639 00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:52,560 What is the problem then? 640 00:40:52,556 --> 00:40:54,926 When I speak of him, which I do not, 641 00:40:54,934 --> 00:40:58,064 because when I do, tears. 642 00:40:58,854 --> 00:41:01,904 It is unmanly and fucked in front of these booyahs. 643 00:41:02,775 --> 00:41:03,855 You miss him. 644 00:41:08,030 --> 00:41:09,070 Emperor? 645 00:41:17,373 --> 00:41:19,213 There is no shame in that. 646 00:41:19,208 --> 00:41:21,788 - No, it will not look-- - There is a saying. 647 00:41:21,794 --> 00:41:25,054 "What comes from the heart goes to the heart." 648 00:41:25,047 --> 00:41:29,047 He was loved, and you showing that is a fine thing. 649 00:41:30,386 --> 00:41:33,056 - I may not cry. - Indeed. 650 00:41:33,055 --> 00:41:36,175 For a I am chap with iron will and control. 651 00:41:42,273 --> 00:41:45,903 He was a man of action, a man of the people, 652 00:41:46,861 --> 00:41:49,701 loved, revered, 653 00:41:49,697 --> 00:41:51,867 victorious in battle. 654 00:41:51,866 --> 00:41:55,866 He once sat and helped me make a lion from rubles. 655 00:41:56,954 --> 00:41:59,964 - But fierce, he... - Fucking baby. 656 00:41:59,957 --> 00:42:01,417 I heard that. 657 00:42:03,252 --> 00:42:04,672 Whoever it was, step forward. 658 00:42:06,255 --> 00:42:08,915 Man-to-man, let us fight. 659 00:42:09,925 --> 00:42:12,675 No recriminations, no reprisals. 660 00:42:12,678 --> 00:42:16,558 On my father's honor, two men and their fists, as he would have it. 661 00:42:16,557 --> 00:42:18,347 It would be an honor. 662 00:42:30,070 --> 00:42:33,570 Strategy. Strategy, you dumb fucks'. 663 00:42:33,574 --> 00:42:37,204 Your mindless, booyah bravery will not win it for us. 664 00:42:40,247 --> 00:42:43,917 I am Peter the Great's son. I know how to win. 665 00:42:43,918 --> 00:42:46,208 We will go with my military plan. Ford the river, 666 00:42:46,212 --> 00:42:48,382 cut their hearts out at breakfast. Yes? 667 00:42:49,673 --> 00:42:52,343 - Yes? - Huzzah. 668 00:42:53,510 --> 00:42:56,180 Now where was I? 669 00:42:56,180 --> 00:42:59,980 My father. I commemorate this statue in his honor. Huzzah. 670 00:43:00,851 --> 00:43:04,941 Let's make Russia great and victorious over those evil blond Swedish fucks. 671 00:43:04,939 --> 00:43:06,859 Huzzah'. 672 00:43:06,857 --> 00:43:09,857 I believe there is a party. Let's enjoy. 673 00:43:23,958 --> 00:43:26,838 How marvelous it was when you stabbed holes in that man. 674 00:43:26,835 --> 00:43:28,875 You were right for me to be true to my heart. 675 00:43:28,879 --> 00:43:31,799 There is now love and fear for me from all. 676 00:43:33,217 --> 00:43:36,297 - I was perhaps rough on Leo today. - When you kicked him over and over? 677 00:43:36,303 --> 00:43:38,313 Yes. That is to what I refer. 678 00:43:38,305 --> 00:43:40,675 Well, it just shows how much you care about my happiness. 679 00:43:40,683 --> 00:43:44,193 Indeed. If you do not want him, you may choose your own lover. 680 00:43:44,186 --> 00:43:45,976 Velementov has offered his services. 681 00:43:45,980 --> 00:43:47,980 - Very not funny. 682 00:43:51,068 --> 00:43:53,108 - Imagine it. - I'd rather not. 683 00:43:54,613 --> 00:43:56,203 Seriously, take a moment. 684 00:43:56,198 --> 00:43:59,238 I imagined him putting it in your ass as you leant on a desk, 685 00:43:59,243 --> 00:44:02,123 then his weight collapsing the desk and crushing you under him. 686 00:44:02,121 --> 00:44:04,371 What was yours? 687 00:44:04,373 --> 00:44:07,213 Him pissing on me as he tried to mount me. 688 00:44:07,209 --> 00:44:10,249 Ha. Brilliantly imaginative, though mine was better. 689 00:44:10,254 --> 00:44:12,424 If you do not want Leo, choose someone else yourself, 690 00:44:12,423 --> 00:44:14,343 and I will approve or disapprove. 691 00:44:14,967 --> 00:44:17,967 - And Leo? - Oh. He may go back to his estate. 692 00:44:18,721 --> 00:44:20,011 Oh. So he is free to leave? 693 00:44:20,014 --> 00:44:21,934 - Yes, of course. - Right. 694 00:44:21,932 --> 00:44:23,932 He can fuck off or stay at court. 695 00:44:23,934 --> 00:44:27,484 I do not care, as long as you are happy and not a miserable, scowling cunt. 696 00:44:27,479 --> 00:44:30,729 Which you are not. That is just a colorful example of what I do not want. 697 00:44:30,733 --> 00:44:32,443 - Of course. - I shall tell him. 698 00:44:32,443 --> 00:44:34,573 - No. Let me. - Mm. 699 00:44:39,908 --> 00:44:42,578 And you are happy and grateful for my efforts towards your happiness? 700 00:44:43,078 --> 00:44:44,998 All is bliss in the court of Peter. 701 00:44:44,997 --> 00:44:47,707 - It is indeed. Huzzah'. - Huzzah'. 702 00:44:47,708 --> 00:44:50,378 I must play. I'm a brilliant violinist. 703 00:44:50,377 --> 00:44:52,047 Give me that. Fuck off. 704 00:45:09,563 --> 00:45:12,573 - Bravo'. 705 00:45:22,368 --> 00:45:24,078 Bravo'. 706 00:45:36,298 --> 00:45:38,338 Peter has not released you. 707 00:45:40,010 --> 00:45:43,010 - I'm sure you tried. - I did. 708 00:45:43,013 --> 00:45:45,683 So we must continue the charade. 709 00:45:46,517 --> 00:45:49,397 I'm strangely not disappointed. 710 00:45:51,397 --> 00:45:55,277 Obviously, we are free to do as we wish with this arrangement. 711 00:45:57,653 --> 00:45:59,243 For example, 712 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,320 you are free to kiss me back, 713 00:46:02,950 --> 00:46:05,200 but also free not to. 714 00:46:06,954 --> 00:46:08,464 To kiss you back, you would have to-- 715 00:46:26,306 --> 00:46:28,346 - Oh'. 716 00:46:39,945 --> 00:46:41,695 Hmm, hmm. 717 00:46:42,990 --> 00:46:45,240 - We need help. 718 00:46:51,331 --> 00:46:52,791 You can probably take it from here? 719 00:46:53,709 --> 00:46:55,419 Thank you, Marial. 720 00:47:33,957 --> 00:47:35,747 What are-- What are you-- 721 00:47:45,385 --> 00:47:47,135 It's very good. 722 00:47:48,722 --> 00:47:52,182 Uh, the, the bit about being able to live without pretense 723 00:47:52,184 --> 00:47:53,314 will resonate deep. 724 00:47:54,102 --> 00:47:57,192 Leo stays. He is my lover. 725 00:47:57,189 --> 00:47:59,359 He will never know of our plans though. 726 00:48:00,150 --> 00:48:01,780 I promise you that. 727 00:48:04,738 --> 00:48:06,028 What-- What are you doing? 728 00:48:07,032 --> 00:48:08,122 My blood oath. 729 00:48:14,206 --> 00:48:17,076 I mean, you... you like to live dangerously. 730 00:48:17,626 --> 00:48:19,746 I just like to live. 731 00:48:19,753 --> 00:48:23,303 And I would like everyone to have that opportunity. 732 00:48:23,298 --> 00:48:25,428 Danger is part of this. 733 00:48:25,425 --> 00:48:27,635 You will have to grasp that. 734 00:48:27,636 --> 00:48:30,466 I have avoided it assiduously my whole life. 735 00:48:31,223 --> 00:48:32,473 We cannot. 736 00:48:37,145 --> 00:48:39,515 Did your heart not beat like a drum 737 00:48:39,523 --> 00:48:42,073 when you thought you had landed Colonel Svenska? 738 00:48:44,236 --> 00:48:47,236 Now, you need to cut your hand. 739 00:48:49,032 --> 00:48:51,582 - I really don't want to do that. - I know. 740 00:48:53,996 --> 00:48:56,416 There will be no need for clothes this morning. 741 00:48:56,415 --> 00:48:57,955 - Marial? - Buttons? 742 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,130 Buttons. 743 00:49:05,215 --> 00:49:06,335 ♪ Free ♪ 744 00:49:08,385 --> 00:49:11,255 ♪ Everybody ♪ 745 00:49:12,014 --> 00:49:14,024 ♪ Come together ♪ 746 00:49:15,851 --> 00:49:17,311 ♪ Free ♪ 747 00:49:19,187 --> 00:49:21,857 ♪ Everybody ♪ 748 00:49:22,733 --> 00:49:24,943 ♪ Get together ♪ 749 00:49:26,737 --> 00:49:27,857 ♪ Free ♪ 750 00:49:30,782 --> 00:49:35,202 ♪ You can't feel it from the palm ♪ 751 00:49:35,203 --> 00:49:38,503 ♪ That you're holding on your arm ♪ 752 00:49:41,585 --> 00:49:45,165 ♪ Cool hands from the get-go ♪ 753 00:49:45,172 --> 00:49:48,722 ♪ Can you feast on the real one? ♪ 754 00:49:51,970 --> 00:49:55,430 ♪ Don't be in love with the autograph ♪ 755 00:49:55,432 --> 00:49:58,852 ♪ Just be in love When you love that song ♪ 756 00:50:02,606 --> 00:50:03,816 ♪ Free ♪ 757 00:50:06,234 --> 00:50:10,824 ♪ It's okay ifyou can't stand To let him dance ♪ 758 00:50:13,408 --> 00:50:18,118 ♪ It's okay, it's your right Come on and take a chance ♪ 759 00:50:19,665 --> 00:50:23,335 ♪ True romance ♪ 760 00:50:23,335 --> 00:50:25,545 ♪ When you dance ♪ 761 00:50:27,756 --> 00:50:28,916 ♪ Free ♪ 762 00:50:30,926 --> 00:50:34,546 ♪ Everybody ♪ 763 00:50:34,554 --> 00:50:36,814 ♪ Come together ♪ 764 00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:39,730 ♪ Free ♪ 765 00:50:42,187 --> 00:50:45,817 ♪ Don't fall in love with the autograph ♪ 766 00:50:45,816 --> 00:50:48,776 ♪ Just fall in love When you sing your song ♪ 767 00:50:51,780 --> 00:50:53,780 ♪ Take a chance ♪ 768 00:50:55,784 --> 00:50:58,504 ♪ True romance ♪