1 00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:06,666 Morning, gareth. 2 00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:16,904 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 3 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:19,465 # mnamanah doo doo do-do 4 00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:25,302 # mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do 5 00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:27,865 # mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 6 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,220 # mnamanah doo doo do-do 7 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:35,902 # mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do 8 00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:40,183 # mnamanah na na-na na-na mnamanah na na na-na 9 00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:42,426 # mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 10 00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,541 # mnamanah doo doo do-do 11 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:50,427 # mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do! # 12 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,062 muppets. 13 00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:23,347 I've not given up on going to university. 14 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:29,307 It's just that I've been made senior sales rep, which is a great opportunity. 15 00:01:29,510 --> 00:01:35,779 There's people coming in from swindon, which is a new and exciting venture as well. 16 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,425 I'm 30. I want to grow up, basically. 17 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,020 I suggest we put this down as a lesson. 18 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:49,258 Have this stuff over to me by three o'clock. Three o'clock today please. 19 00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:54,783 Then we'll say no more about it. All right? 20 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:58,027 Gareth keenan. Who's that? 21 00:01:58,990 --> 00:02:00,821 Oggy! 22 00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:06,058 Oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! Oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! 23 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:11,219 Oggy... oggy... oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! 24 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,306 See you later. 25 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:21,545 - Do you keep in touch with oggy? - That was oggy. 26 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:24,503 - Was it? How is he? - You don't know him. 27 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:27,508 - I wish I did. He sounds great. - He is. 28 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:30,986 Could you keep the pig impersonations down? 29 00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:36,389 Yeah. I've told you before, you can't tell me what to do, I'm team leader. 30 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:41,345 - I'm senior sales rep, so I can. - Team leader beats senior sales rep. 31 00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:47,898 No. My job title actually means something. I got a pay rise. Team leader means nothing. 32 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,066 It means I'm leader of a team. 33 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:55,867 It's a title someone's given you to get you to do things they don't want to do for free. 34 00:02:56,070 --> 00:03:00,746 It's like making the div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it. 35 00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:02,383 - They do. - No. 36 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:08,222 Yes, they do. If people were rude to me, I gave them their milk last, so it was warm. 37 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,303 Right. 38 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:35,866 Oh, no... 39 00:03:36,070 --> 00:03:39,460 I found that in "inside paper". 40 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:45,586 It's the trade magazine for the paper industry. My ugly mug on the front! 41 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,542 Embarrassing. 42 00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:50,782 All right. 43 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:07,707 He's put me off what I was doing now. Oh, yeah. Making the phone calls. 44 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,462 Don't... 45 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:19,822 dawn, someone's coming to collect that later, so... 46 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:24,979 lee, I wouldn't get caught there, mate. Top brass are milling about. 47 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,865 - I'm going anyway, mate. See ya. - Bye. 48 00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:37,146 Sorry. I've got to supervise everything and make sure it's all... 49 00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:43,346 - you haven't visited for ages. - Yeah. I'm a bit snowed under. 50 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,383 - But you're all right? - I'm fine. You? 51 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,741 - Mmm. Did you...? - Your phone. 52 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:05,026 - It's all go! - This is neil. 53 00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:07,380 - Neil godwin. - Hi. 54 00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:11,868 - Neil is jennifer's replacement. - I'm david's boss. 55 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:16,029 - Just a little bit above me... - I'm the uk manager. 56 00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:21,543 I was david's equivalent in swindon, doing the same kind of job. 57 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:25,504 My branch closed and now my staff are coming here. 58 00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:28,861 So I'm david's boss, looking after him. 59 00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:34,508 Looking after's the wrong term because we're both... good to meet you though. 60 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:40,660 - We have met before. Ipswich conference. - Oh, god. I was a leetle bit drunk! 61 00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:45,022 - For most of the week. - Doesn't sound like me, does it? 62 00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:50,109 Anyway... come into my boudoir. 63 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:55,384 - Ooh! Is jennifer with you? - No. She's on her way, apparently. 64 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:57,342 Part-timer. 65 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,702 Monkey! 66 00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:06,619 Just an example of the laughs we have here - for one. 67 00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:10,787 Sure, we're in potentially traumatic times, 68 00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:14,585 but they are exciting times with the merger. 69 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:21,104 Things move fast. Only two weeks ago, I was telling them I'd decided to stay after all, 70 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:24,825 and you saw how relieved they were at that. 71 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:29,581 But we've had a personnel change of 25%, people coming and going. 72 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,749 Redundancies - some involuntary, which is hard. 73 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:37,829 I had to let my pa go. Last in, first out. 74 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:41,420 Which was really sad. That was upsetting. 75 00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:49,745 I'm coping. I rolled with the punch. Dawn can do a lot of it anyway. 76 00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:54,740 There'll be time for this later, but I'll give you some of it now. 77 00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:58,067 Is that in your way? I'll move that. 78 00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:01,421 Oh, god. Look at that. Stupid. 79 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:06,067 Get uk manager of the month, inside paper, and pull a daft face. 80 00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:09,228 - You look quite young. - Photogenic... 81 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,500 - it's 18 months old. - Yeah. 82 00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:15,385 I got it out today to throw it away. Definitely. 83 00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:24,580 - Look at that. - Inside paper inside the paper bin! 84 00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:30,023 Recycle that. It's a shame 'cause... 85 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:37,749 stopl move away from the cookie jarl 86 00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:42,739 stopl move away from the cookie jarl 87 00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:47,459 - hello... - want a biscuit? 88 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,747 Stopl move away from the cookie jarl 89 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,747 good, innit? 90 00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:59,864 You know this thing we're doing lunchtime? A welcome do for the swindon lot. 91 00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:04,985 Just to meet and greet. I'm going to do a speech, so no heckling. 92 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:08,102 - I've got a joke you can use. - Go on. 93 00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:12,019 It's christmas dinner, royal family. 94 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:18,180 Camilla parker-bowles says, "ok. I'll think of something, you have to guess what it is." 95 00:08:18,390 --> 00:08:23,145 - She's thinking a black man's cock. - Trust camilla. It's not racist? 96 00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:28,583 No. Prince philip goes, "is it bigger than the bread bin?" she goes, "yeah." 97 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:32,146 Charles goes, "can I put it in my mouth?" "Yeah." 98 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:35,103 The queen goes, "is it a black man's cock?" 99 00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:39,781 - She's guessed it from those clues! - Straightaway. 100 00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:44,700 That's the sort of stuff I write. You didn't write it, you just told it. 101 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:47,344 Well done. Do it again. 102 00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:50,940 Stopl move away from the cookie jarl 103 00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,665 look forward to this! 104 00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:05,069 Big day today. The swindon mob are arriving. 105 00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:07,784 I've laid on a little do for them. 106 00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:09,708 - Sheila. - Hi, sheila. 107 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:17,430 If you're asking what the vibe is, 108 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:22,181 it's just a chill-out, get to know each other type of vibe. 109 00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:25,143 - Nice to see you. - Settling in all right? 110 00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:29,980 Jennifer's coming back to oversee the transition. 111 00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:33,739 Very much holding neil's hand. Daunting for him. 112 00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:42,102 Ooh. Dawn, you know I don't drink! Eh? 113 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:46,428 She gave me some wine and I went, "you know I don't drink!" 114 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:51,306 - Do you not drink? - He says, "do I not drink?" 115 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:57,705 - Yeah. He drinks. - Right. Ok. 116 00:09:57,910 --> 00:09:59,946 Just a little bit. 117 00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:08,383 Take a chair - not literally! 118 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,466 Ladies first. 119 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,580 Here we go. 120 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:18,226 You put the chairs out? It's great. 121 00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:21,069 - You're saying a few words? - Just a few. 122 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:25,229 Don't be nervous. Just bring me on and enjoy the show. 123 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:33,501 Some people are intimidated when talking to lots of people in an entertaining way. 124 00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:36,702 Not me. I've had experience. 125 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,266 At a coventry conference, some of us put on a review 126 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:45,146 and I did impressions of the conference co-ordinator, eric hitchmo. 127 00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:47,944 He talks like this and says one thing. 128 00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:53,099 "I don't agree with that in the workplace." I did him as famous people. 129 00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:57,269 The compere would go, "lt colombo" and I'd come out in a mac. 130 00:10:57,470 --> 00:11:02,021 "My wife loves you... but I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 131 00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,346 And I did him as basil fawlty. 132 00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:09,499 "I think I got away with it... but I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 133 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:13,908 And he loved it because there was nothing vicious. 134 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:18,023 Some "comedians" would have been more nasty. 135 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:23,987 He's got a withered hand, like jeremy beadle. I didn't mention it. No need. 136 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:29,788 Hello, everyone. For those of you that don't know me, my name's neil godwin. 137 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:33,426 For those of you that do know me, keep shtum. 138 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,626 I'm a man of simple pleasures. 139 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:42,587 I don't need lovely houses and classy restaurants, so good job I moved to slough! 140 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:48,461 No, it's great to be in slough. I've just spent a year in beirut. 141 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:55,588 I know that david is worried about taking on these new staff 142 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:58,987 because it'll mean more responsibility - 143 00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:02,785 he'll have to delegate twice as much work! 144 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:08,747 There will be perks. I'm sure he's looking forward to having more men underneath him. 145 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:12,829 Here's the man at the top of the pile, david brent. 146 00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:21,941 Thanks. What he was saying about me being top of the pile of men - saying I'm gay. 147 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:27,508 I'm not gay. In fact, I can honestly say I've never come over a little queer! 148 00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:35,147 Get to the real stuff. That was just... he's putting me off. 149 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:41,186 Welcome to slough to the new people. My name's david brent. 150 00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:45,349 I've always been in the paper industry, haven't I? 151 00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:49,429 My parents owned a paper shop - until it blew away! 152 00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,622 There's better ones than that. Ok. 153 00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:59,068 I'm not used to public squeaking. I piss pronunciate a lot of my worms. 154 00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:02,029 Ooh. 155 00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:05,666 "The two ronnies". Classic stuff. 156 00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:11,388 Turn the phone off. If you're not concentrating, you won't enjoy it as much. 157 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:16,141 Focus. Anyway, good to have you all here from swindon. 158 00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:21,549 I hear they dropped an atomic bomb on swindon - did about £15 worth of damage. 159 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,343 Right. Ok. 160 00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,303 That's... right. 161 00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:36,819 Good job eric hitchmo isn't here. He'd say, "I don't agree with that in the workplace." 162 00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:42,150 Imagine if eric was a los angeles detective. It'd be a bit weird, wouldn't it? 163 00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:46,741 "My wife loves you but... I don't agree with that in the workplace." 164 00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:51,819 What's that, eric? You've started running a hotel in torquay? 165 00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:57,741 "Don't mention the war and... I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 166 00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:01,465 I don't agree with that in the workplace! 167 00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:05,549 You know eric hitchmo. Who's been to the coventry conference? 168 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:10,346 - Do you not know eric hitchmo? - Yeah, but he doesn't talk like that. 169 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:15,305 - Yes, he does. Right, gareth? - I prefer your stuff about his little hand. 170 00:14:15,510 --> 00:14:18,707 - I don't do that. - You do. The wanking claw. 171 00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:25,862 Has everyone heard of harry enfield? Harry enfield? 172 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:31,064 - Yes. - Right. Ok. Then, who's this? 173 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:36,740 "I do not believe you wanted to do that. Only me!" 174 00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:45,700 Oh, come on! 175 00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,583 You try something and that's... 176 00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:56,224 - thanks, david. - Eh? 177 00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,388 - Thanks. - Whatever. Just... 178 00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:05,825 ok. There's plenty of wine and snacks left if you want to help yourselves to anything. 179 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,662 Thanks. 180 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:30,465 - I see you've got the wheelchair. - I have, yeah. 181 00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:35,949 I've got a mate who's got a wheelchair. Not a mate, I don't like him much. 182 00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:43,182 - I feel all right, yeah. - It looks very smart. 183 00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:46,143 Cheers. Thank you very much. 184 00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:51,299 Sorry. Excuse me. Dawn. You've been off reception for an hour. 185 00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:56,584 I don't know if we're missing calls or what. Could you check? 186 00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:01,102 Check the messages. Is that all right? Thanks, mate. 187 00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:03,904 As long as it's comfy... 188 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,783 hi. 189 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:20,699 Lunchtime gigs are the worst. I don't think neil warmed you up. 190 00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:24,027 He's not a professional comedian. 191 00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:29,384 - He was funny though. - An amateur will stitch up a professional. 192 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:34,027 Here's one I should have told you. The royal family. Christmas day. 193 00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:40,100 Camilla goes, "let's play "20 questions". You've got to guess what I'm thinking of." 194 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:43,268 What she's thinking of is a black man's cock. 195 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:47,463 Charles goes, "is it bigger than the bread bin?" "yes." 196 00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:50,468 Philip goes, "can I put it in my mouth?" "yes." 197 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,628 The queen goes, "is it a black...?" hiya. 198 00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:58,704 - Sorry. Were you telling a joke? - No. That was it. 199 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:01,344 What did the queen say? 200 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:08,065 - What was the joke? - The royal family playing "20 questions". 201 00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:11,228 It's not the black man's cock one, is it? 202 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:16,458 - It might be, but... bad, isn't it? - It's all right. It's funny. 203 00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:19,662 Harmless. Well done. 204 00:17:22,070 --> 00:17:25,506 Have you all met this little lady... this lady? 205 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:36,225 It's a shame this had to happen today, but I've just had a complaint. 206 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:41,788 - What complaint? - I can't believe you told racist jokes. 207 00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:48,589 Wrong. No way. He thought it was funny, so I don't know why he's complaining now. 208 00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:51,224 He? It was a woman. 209 00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:54,786 I assumed it was the... new guy. 210 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:58,426 - Anyway, it isn't racist. - What is it? 211 00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:00,905 - The joke? - The gist of it. 212 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:04,386 - It won't be funny now. - What's the content? 213 00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:08,822 Royal family on christmas day. Camilla goes, "let's play a game. 214 00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:14,468 "You have to guess what I'm thinking of." She's thinking of a black man's cock. 215 00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:21,705 So charles goes, "is it bigger than the bread bin?" camilla goes, "yup". 216 00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:25,539 Philip goes, "can I put it in my mouth?" "yup". 217 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:28,708 The queen goes, "is it a black man's cock?" 218 00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:32,903 He's heard it before. So that's the sort of... yeah. 219 00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:37,949 I can see why that might be offensive. 220 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:41,108 I don't say anything bad about black people. 221 00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:45,701 - It's about a black man's cock. - It just happens to be a black man's cock. 222 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:51,348 You're using the stereotype that all black men have large penises to make it funnier. 223 00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:54,064 It's not an insult. It's a compliment. 224 00:18:54,270 --> 00:18:59,503 Black people should be flattered that their only achievement is oversized genitalia? 225 00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:02,349 - They shouldn't be ashamed. - It's a myth. 226 00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:07,704 - I could show you a magazine where... - could you? 227 00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:11,425 I haven't got it with me. When are you next in? 228 00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:17,462 I could just say big cock and not mention the colour. 229 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:23,063 Or you could tell those jokes in your free time and not in the workplace. 230 00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:25,226 It was his joke. 231 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:30,379 Whatever, david. You've heard my opinion. Shall we go back outside? 232 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:39,265 You ought to be careful because some of them can be a little bit sensitive, so... 233 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,826 - sorry? Who can? - Some... people... 234 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:48,627 can take things the wrong way - as an actress said to a bishop! 235 00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:54,621 That's not a gay stereotype. I'm not saying that's the wrong way. I'm saying it's a way. 236 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:57,822 Some straight women like it the wrong way. 237 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:03,468 It doesn't matter if you're gay. One in ten, apparently. That seems a bit high. 238 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:06,867 You might be... if you are, good luck to you. 239 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:10,824 Just make sure it's legal and be safe. Ok? 240 00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:18,989 That's it. A lot of people can't keep up 241 00:20:19,190 --> 00:20:23,183 with what words are acceptable and what words aren't. 242 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:29,909 My dad, for example, isn't as cosmopolitan or as educated as me 243 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:33,068 and it can be embarrassing. 244 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:38,947 He doesn't understand new trendy words. He'll say "poofs" instead of "gays". 245 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:45,428 "Birds" instead of "women", "darkies" instead of "coloureds". 246 00:20:56,910 --> 00:21:00,186 - All right, tim? - Yes, thanks, keith. 247 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:03,143 - Hi. - Sorry. I didn't mean to... 248 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:06,103 your t-shirt's got "pot my pink" on it. 249 00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:09,268 - Play snooker? - Not that way. 250 00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:13,588 - So it's... rachel, isn't it? - Tim. 251 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:16,224 - Well done. - Gareth. 252 00:21:16,430 --> 00:21:18,261 Hiya. 253 00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:19,983 Keith. 254 00:21:21,950 --> 00:21:23,906 Thanks very much. Good luck. 255 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:27,386 - Jenny. You've met oliver? - Yes. 256 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:31,868 - Good lad. We were having a laugh earlier. - Yeah. 257 00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:36,382 - Did you like that joke I told? - Yeah. It was funny. 258 00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:40,663 - David, we've talked about this. - Yup. Interesting. 259 00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:43,145 See you later, david. Goodbye. 260 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:50,302 She should chill out a bit more. Maybe a bit of the old ganja, know what I mean? 261 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,661 Course you do. Meetings would be different. 262 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:59,422 "David, I've called this meeting because I want you to get me some hobnobs"! 263 00:22:02,550 --> 00:22:07,544 Like in scooby doo, all those scooby snacks because he's got the munchies. 264 00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:10,981 Dooby dooby doo! "raggy!" 265 00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:16,742 I was not advocating the use of drugs. I was talking to someone on their level. 266 00:22:16,950 --> 00:22:20,226 I can communicate with people from all walks of life. 267 00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,387 - Olive? - Mm. 268 00:22:23,350 --> 00:22:27,548 - Snacks. - So when did you come up? 269 00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:29,308 Saturday. 270 00:22:30,270 --> 00:22:31,942 Saturday. 271 00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:36,067 Was it your mum or your boyfriend drove you? 272 00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:39,307 - No. My brother came up with me. - Ok. 273 00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:43,389 Have you got ties in swindon or are you starting again here? 274 00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:46,866 - I'll be going back weekends. - Ok. 275 00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:51,907 Sorry. So have you got a boyfriend or not? 276 00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:55,226 No, I haven't. 277 00:22:56,230 --> 00:23:00,667 - I think I left my drink over there... - see you in a bit. 278 00:23:02,830 --> 00:23:07,460 Tim, I know you don't mean to but you're cramping my style. 279 00:23:07,670 --> 00:23:10,787 - What? - I'm planning to get off with her. 280 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:15,108 - And what if I liked her? - I saw her first. 281 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,778 And how does that work? 282 00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:25,899 You've won the argument doing that, have you? Of course. 283 00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:41,900 Everyone's nice. 284 00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,586 - Hi. - Hi. 285 00:23:45,790 --> 00:23:48,099 - They came for the package. - Yeah? 286 00:23:48,310 --> 00:23:50,301 - No problem. - Cool. 287 00:23:50,510 --> 00:23:53,741 - I'm so bored. - Are you? 288 00:23:53,950 --> 00:23:56,908 Do you want to wind up gareth for a bit? 289 00:23:57,110 --> 00:24:00,546 I don't think we should. He's a bit busy. 290 00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:04,902 - So? - So am I, dawn, actually. 291 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,066 So should you be. 292 00:24:15,030 --> 00:24:19,785 - Is that where you're going to? - Mh-hm. A few things I need. 293 00:24:41,390 --> 00:24:47,863 Dawn. I've been checking my diary. I've been overlooking something. So have you. 294 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:52,825 There's a 20 minute window here - "wind up gareth with dawn." 295 00:24:53,030 --> 00:24:56,306 So shall we do that? Shall we? 296 00:24:57,470 --> 00:25:03,770 This way, please, madam. I'm not in the mood. Just a quick one. 297 00:25:03,790 --> 00:25:07,100 - Did you see that film "gay lords say no"? - No. 298 00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:22,778 Sorry. Hello. Could I have a quick word with everyone? 299 00:25:24,830 --> 00:25:28,459 I'm mainly talking to the swindon lot here. 300 00:25:28,670 --> 00:25:32,902 Some of you seem to have got off on the wrong foot with me. 301 00:25:33,110 --> 00:25:37,069 You didn't like some of the jokes I told earlier. 302 00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:43,618 You've got to chill out. Trust me. This is what I do. All right? 303 00:25:43,830 --> 00:25:48,460 You will never work in a place like this again. It's brilliant. Fact. 304 00:25:48,670 --> 00:25:53,790 And you'll never have another boss like me - a chilled-out entertainer. 305 00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:59,826 Some of you didn't understand the jokes and misinterpreted one and went to jennifer. 306 00:26:00,030 --> 00:26:04,262 Ok. I'm a bit annoyed you'd go to jennifer and not me. 307 00:26:04,470 --> 00:26:08,827 Who was it that complained? It's not a witch hunt. Who was it? 308 00:26:09,030 --> 00:26:11,180 Two of you. Good. 309 00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:15,747 Why did you think you could go to jennifer but not me? 310 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:19,067 I don't know you and I didn't like your jokes. 311 00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:25,709 - You shouldn't be laughing at black people. - Funny that only two of you thought that. 312 00:26:25,910 --> 00:26:31,542 - I didn't like it either. - Right. You're new. You don't know me. 313 00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:34,787 - I'm not new and I find it offensive. - He didn't. 314 00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:39,268 - What's he got to do with it? - He doesn't mind us laughing at him. 315 00:26:39,470 --> 00:26:43,224 Why should only black people be offended by racism? 316 00:26:44,670 --> 00:26:48,902 Good point. First sensible thing you've said all day. 317 00:26:49,110 --> 00:26:54,059 I say, come one, come all, we're all the same. Let's... 318 00:26:54,270 --> 00:26:57,467 that's why there's only one black guy here? 319 00:26:57,670 --> 00:27:00,628 Wrong. Indian fella in the warehouse. 320 00:27:00,830 --> 00:27:06,382 And an indian fella used to work up here. He left. Didn't like it. Up to him. 321 00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:10,139 I'd like the place to be full of 'em. Right, gareth? 322 00:27:10,350 --> 00:27:14,662 - Well, half and half. - You are half and half, aren't you? 323 00:27:14,870 --> 00:27:18,385 - I'm mixed race. - That's my favourite. 324 00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:22,469 That's the melting pot. Please. 325 00:27:22,670 --> 00:27:26,026 So there's your racist for you. 326 00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:27,948 So... 327 00:27:44,270 --> 00:27:47,262 - he said melting pot! Oh, my god! - He did! 328 00:27:47,470 --> 00:27:51,941 - He didn't actually do the fingers. - Let's just get on. 329 00:27:52,150 --> 00:27:54,300 Let's just love each other. 330 00:27:54,510 --> 00:27:59,061 # What david needs is a great big melting pot... # 331 00:27:59,270 --> 00:28:00,783 lee! 332 00:28:07,590 --> 00:28:09,182 Dawn? 333 00:28:19,350 --> 00:28:21,102 All right. 334 00:28:36,230 --> 00:28:40,542 # So what becomes of you, my love 335 00:28:42,070 --> 00:28:46,621 # when they have finally stripped you of 336 00:28:46,830 --> 00:28:49,185 # the handbags and the gladrags 337 00:28:49,390 --> 00:28:54,623 # that your granddad had to sweat so you could buy? #