1 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,632 Where is my desk ? 2 00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:08,659 That is weird. 3 00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:12,535 This is not funny, this is totally unprofessional. 4 00:00:12,589 --> 00:00:14,529 Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk. 5 00:00:14,638 --> 00:00:16,936 - I didn't lose my desk - Okay, calm down. 6 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:18,622 Where was the last place you saw it ? 7 00:00:18,658 --> 00:00:20,090 Okay, who moved my desk ? 8 00:00:20,623 --> 00:00:22,219 I think you should retrace your steps. 9 00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:24,901 Okay, I am going to tell Michael. 10 00:00:25,127 --> 00:00:27,980 And this entire office will be punished. 11 00:00:28,813 --> 00:00:29,976 Colder. 12 00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:34,180 Warmer. 13 00:00:35,256 --> 00:00:36,616 Little warmer. 14 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,491 There you go, ooh, warmer. 15 00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:41,290 Warmer. 16 00:00:41,747 --> 00:00:42,993 Warmer, warmer ! 17 00:00:43,197 --> 00:00:44,861 Warmer, cold, cold ! Cold ! 18 00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:46,022 Back up ! 19 00:00:47,646 --> 00:00:50,403 Ooh, ooh, warmer. 20 00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:52,343 Hot, red hot. Hot. 21 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,623 Very hot. 22 00:01:07,838 --> 00:01:09,522 - Dwight Schrute. - Hi Dwight ! 23 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:13,160 What sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 pound white bond ? 24 00:01:13,396 --> 00:01:15,660 Jim, I've given you this information like 20 times. 25 00:01:15,705 --> 00:01:16,923 I know. 26 00:01:20,757 --> 00:01:22,073 It's by the ream ? 27 00:01:22,476 --> 00:01:24,950 - Uh, yeah. - It is now 9.78. 28 00:01:25,158 --> 00:01:27,903 - So it's a discount of 7%. - Okay thank you, 29 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:29,792 I got to get back to work. 30 00:01:34,257 --> 00:01:35,643 Wash your hands Kevin. 31 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:03,203 Saison 2 - Episode 6 The Fight 32 00:02:03,438 --> 00:02:05,073 Script: Nikki (twiztv.com) 33 00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:07,112 Synchronisation Occeane & El Uploador 34 00:02:07,296 --> 00:02:09,240 pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ www.forom.com 35 00:02:10,707 --> 00:02:13,942 Right. Oh, well, let me just check the pricing list. 36 00:02:13,987 --> 00:02:15,733 - Hold on one second. - Sensei... 37 00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:17,432 Hello, it's sempai. 38 00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:20,553 Dwight. 39 00:02:20,737 --> 00:02:22,851 You know what, let me give you a call right back. 40 00:02:22,897 --> 00:02:25,350 I'm going to find it and then I'll call you back. Thanks. 41 00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:28,523 Yes, I just had a ques... Yes, sensei. 42 00:02:29,508 --> 00:02:31,852 Arigato goazai mashta. Hai. 43 00:02:35,298 --> 00:02:38,333 - Was that you mom ? - No. That was my sensei. 44 00:02:40,177 --> 00:02:42,813 - Thought it was your mom. - I am now sempai, 45 00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:45,483 which is assistant sensei. 46 00:02:45,668 --> 00:02:47,552 Assistant to the sensei, that's pretty cool. 47 00:02:47,605 --> 00:02:49,323 - Assistant sensei. - Okay. 48 00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:54,243 I am a practitioner of Goju-Ryu ka-ra-te, here in Scranton. 49 00:02:54,847 --> 00:02:56,513 - Hai ! - 2 ! 50 00:02:56,606 --> 00:02:59,262 - Hai ! - Dwight, stamp and kick back. 3. 51 00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:04,790 My sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt. 52 00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:07,731 And gave me duties of a sempai. 53 00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:11,303 Not that a lot of people here in America know what a sempai is. 54 00:03:11,378 --> 00:03:14,342 But it's equally as respected as a sensei. 55 00:03:19,348 --> 00:03:21,922 I don't want to stay until 7:00 again this year. 56 00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:25,221 I don't really have any control over that, Stanley. 57 00:03:29,878 --> 00:03:33,860 Michael tends to procrastinate... a bit whenever he has to do work. 58 00:03:35,898 --> 00:03:39,020 Time cards. He has to sign these every Friday. 59 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:42,110 Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. 60 00:03:42,218 --> 00:03:44,103 And expense reports. 61 00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:48,141 All he has to do is initial these, at the end of every quarter. 62 00:03:48,255 --> 00:03:52,221 But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday. And that's today. 63 00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:54,400 I call it the perfect storm. 64 00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:56,643 "I don't want to work," 65 00:03:57,007 --> 00:03:59,551 "I just want to bang on this mug all day." 66 00:03:59,585 --> 00:04:01,671 Did you ask me here for any specific reason? 67 00:04:01,737 --> 00:04:04,633 Ah, yes, I did. Here's the bizzle. 68 00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:09,333 I have a very top secret mission for you. 69 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:12,841 I want you to update all the emergency contact information. 70 00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:15,632 - Why is that secret ? - Hello. Oh, God 71 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:18,022 Busy work. Ah, get away, get away. Cretin. 72 00:04:18,678 --> 00:04:20,452 I put stickers so you know where to sign. 73 00:04:20,496 --> 00:04:21,922 Yes, thanks, I know where to sign. 74 00:04:21,978 --> 00:04:23,271 It's just that last year, you... 75 00:04:23,328 --> 00:04:25,820 Last year, they were out of order, weren't they, Pam. 76 00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:30,022 Well, the last pickup for overnight deliveries is at 7:00. 77 00:04:30,296 --> 00:04:33,342 So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier. 78 00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:36,422 Shalax, Pam. Stop Pam-MSing. 79 00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:38,671 That's pretty good. 80 00:04:38,748 --> 00:04:41,092 Actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. 81 00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:43,503 Tell her what it is. 82 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,672 Updating emergency contacts ? 83 00:04:47,278 --> 00:04:49,113 Well, is that really a priority ? 84 00:04:49,217 --> 00:04:51,073 Is it a priority ? Oh, I don't know. 85 00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:53,871 What if there's a tornado, Pam ? 86 00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,882 People's legs are crushed under rubble. 87 00:04:56,048 --> 00:04:59,572 Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife ? No I can't. 88 00:04:59,686 --> 00:05:02,462 Because we don't have any emergency contact information. 89 00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:04,470 Because Pam said it wasn't a priority. 90 00:05:04,615 --> 00:05:06,060 Think. Think with your head Pam. 91 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,972 Okay, well, she walks out. 92 00:05:08,358 --> 00:05:11,633 That's the problem with being a boss, is that when you are tough, 93 00:05:11,887 --> 00:05:14,780 they resent you, and when you are cool, they walk all over you. 94 00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:19,892 - Catch-22. - Catch-22, yes. 95 00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:25,970 Why don't you give me your contact information to start with ? 96 00:05:26,027 --> 00:05:27,373 Okay? What's your cell ? 97 00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:31,520 - Larissa Halpert. - What's her address ? 98 00:05:31,608 --> 00:05:35,043 - 117 Vonburgen Street. - Hello. 99 00:05:35,938 --> 00:05:37,350 Hey Ryan. 100 00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:43,501 This is Michael Jackson, calling from Wonderland. 101 00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:45,660 You mean Neverland ? 102 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,111 This is Tito. 103 00:05:52,715 --> 00:05:53,983 What ? 104 00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:57,291 Calling from... 105 00:05:57,985 --> 00:06:00,723 Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge. 106 00:06:02,158 --> 00:06:03,342 That sucks. 107 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,642 You're making this up as you go along, aren't you ? 108 00:06:05,686 --> 00:06:09,963 - I am just following the web site. - Well, at least I don't have cavities. 109 00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:12,480 Yes, you have very nice teeth. 110 00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:13,953 T hanks 111 00:06:14,476 --> 00:06:16,090 Who's your emergency contact ? 112 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,203 Stacey. 113 00:06:22,975 --> 00:06:24,361 Pick up. 114 00:06:26,738 --> 00:06:28,001 Hello ? 115 00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,762 This is Mike Tyson. 116 00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:35,283 Hey, Dwight. 117 00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:39,483 As sempai, do you ever think there's gonna be a day, 118 00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:42,972 where humans and robots can peacefully coexist ? 119 00:06:43,805 --> 00:06:45,090 Impossible. 120 00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:46,952 The way they're programmed... 121 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,800 - You're mocking me. - No, I'm not. 122 00:06:50,848 --> 00:06:53,142 Well, let me offer you a little piece of advice. 123 00:06:53,718 --> 00:06:56,872 I am not afraid, to make an example out of you. 124 00:06:57,535 --> 00:07:00,503 That's not advice. What advice sounds like is this. 125 00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:04,491 Don't ever bring your purple belt to work, 126 00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:07,130 because someone might... steal it. 127 00:07:07,215 --> 00:07:09,272 - Okay, give that back to me. - Okay, say please. 128 00:07:09,316 --> 00:07:11,360 - No, that is not a toy. - Please. 129 00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:12,772 - Please ? - Good. 130 00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:15,100 And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato. 131 00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:18,361 Arigato. This is not a toy. This is a message, 132 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:20,920 for the entire office. 133 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:24,091 So that everyone could see that I am capable of physically dominating them. 134 00:07:27,478 --> 00:07:30,472 And this is more of a ying yang thing. 135 00:07:30,686 --> 00:07:33,593 The Michael is all cursive, Scott all caps. 136 00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:35,223 Left brain, right brain. 137 00:07:35,757 --> 00:07:37,793 Or duality of man. 138 00:07:38,777 --> 00:07:40,311 Could you practice on the forms ? 139 00:07:45,158 --> 00:07:47,141 No women or children, unless provoked. 140 00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:48,570 Okay, Roy. 141 00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:51,190 - Warehouse guy. Doesn't count. - Okay 142 00:07:51,297 --> 00:07:52,791 Michael. Could you beat up Michael ? 143 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:55,130 Yeah, I don't think that would happen. 144 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,966 - Cause we're friends. - Because I would kick his ass. 145 00:07:58,109 --> 00:08:00,780 Well, Dwight's a purple belt. So... 146 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,286 So ? I've beat up black belts. Yeah. 147 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,752 How'd you know they were black belts ? 148 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:07,270 They told me, after. 149 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:12,142 See, I used to run with a very tough crowd, street fighter types. 150 00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:15,030 Real, real bad people. 151 00:08:15,136 --> 00:08:16,633 I'm just lucky I got out. 152 00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,163 Is your wife still your contact ? 153 00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:21,291 Ex-wife, yeah. 154 00:08:22,428 --> 00:08:24,322 Her last name is Becker now. 155 00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:27,083 Okay. 156 00:08:27,266 --> 00:08:28,623 You don't need to write ex. 157 00:08:29,868 --> 00:08:33,810 And after that, nobody ever messed with the damn rascals ever again. 158 00:08:34,187 --> 00:08:35,781 Sounds tough. 159 00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:38,340 When you're a jet, your're a jet all the way, right ? 160 00:08:38,395 --> 00:08:39,360 You're a jet ? 161 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:41,273 Have you signed the expense reports yet? 162 00:08:41,308 --> 00:08:42,932 Yes, in theory I have. 163 00:08:42,968 --> 00:08:45,500 I just need to cross some Ts and dot some Is. 164 00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,390 Alright. 165 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:52,770 I am going to be in my office if anybody needs me. 166 00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:55,253 Oh Michael ! 167 00:08:56,115 --> 00:08:58,841 Sleeper hold. Bedtime for vato. 168 00:08:59,348 --> 00:09:03,011 - Stop it. - You are, the weakest link ! 169 00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:06,900 I'm friends with everybody in this office. 170 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:10,051 We're all best friends I love everybody here. 171 00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:12,722 But sometimes your best friends, 172 00:09:13,617 --> 00:09:17,311 start coming in to work late and, start having dentist appointments 173 00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:18,773 that aren't dentist appointments. 174 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,960 And that is when it's nice to let them know 175 00:09:21,026 --> 00:09:22,883 that you could beat them up. 176 00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:25,760 - Just hit me. You'll see. - I can't, 177 00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:28,592 - cause I just got a manicure. So... - Oh, queer ! 178 00:09:29,205 --> 00:09:31,803 Eye, Queer Eye. That's a good show. Important show. 179 00:09:32,598 --> 00:09:33,872 Go ahead, do it. 180 00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:35,950 - Just have Dwight punch you. - Oh, yeah 181 00:09:36,398 --> 00:09:38,002 Well, that would be kind of worthless, 182 00:09:38,048 --> 00:09:40,840 because I know a ton of 14 years old girls who could kick his ass. 183 00:09:40,886 --> 00:09:43,650 - You know a ton of 14-year-old girls ? - What belt are they ? 184 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,663 Look, Dwight is a wuss. 185 00:09:45,998 --> 00:09:47,593 - When we rented Armageddon... - No... 186 00:09:47,678 --> 00:09:49,150 he cried at the end of it. He did. 187 00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,190 Michael, I told you... 188 00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:51,873 That was because it was New Year's Eve, 189 00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:53,741 and it started to snow at exactly midnight. 190 00:09:53,808 --> 00:09:56,441 "Oh, Bruce Willis, they're going to leave him on the asteroid." 191 00:09:56,486 --> 00:09:58,650 - Okay I'll punch you. - Okay, here we go. 192 00:09:58,975 --> 00:10:00,161 Alright, come on. 193 00:10:06,335 --> 00:10:09,550 Did I want to harm Michael, the one man I've been hired to protect ? 194 00:10:10,088 --> 00:10:12,030 - No, I did not. - Are you okay ? 195 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:14,021 - Yes. - Are you sure you're all right ? 196 00:10:14,065 --> 00:10:17,191 Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. 197 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,721 I come from a long line of fighters. 198 00:10:25,018 --> 00:10:28,020 My maternal grandfather, was the toughest guy I ever knew. 199 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,971 World War II veteran. Killed 20 men, 200 00:10:31,318 --> 00:10:34,170 then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp. 201 00:10:34,748 --> 00:10:39,650 My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. 202 00:10:40,816 --> 00:10:42,150 Different kind of fight. 203 00:10:43,746 --> 00:10:45,521 Okay, he has to be stopped. 204 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,433 Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael. 205 00:10:50,678 --> 00:10:51,851 - I don't know. - Okay 206 00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:56,660 Okay. I'll buy you a bag of chips. 207 00:10:56,696 --> 00:10:57,850 Why are you twisting around? 208 00:10:57,886 --> 00:10:59,470 - French onion ? - Obviously. 209 00:10:59,477 --> 00:11:00,981 Kevin, why are you spinning around ? 210 00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:02,031 - Okay. - Yes. 211 00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:04,402 Take this pen, okay. 212 00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:06,412 And stab me with it. 213 00:11:07,265 --> 00:11:09,231 - Go away. - I just have a quick question. 214 00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:11,772 I haven't signed them, okay ? 215 00:11:12,225 --> 00:11:13,611 No, it's not that. 216 00:11:14,556 --> 00:11:17,560 I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late 217 00:11:17,795 --> 00:11:21,613 could you ask Dwight to stay late too, so he can walk me to my car ? 218 00:11:22,675 --> 00:11:23,502 Nice. 219 00:11:24,177 --> 00:11:25,323 Come in. 220 00:11:28,508 --> 00:11:30,072 Pam, I hate to break this to you, 221 00:11:30,135 --> 00:11:32,402 but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. 222 00:11:32,838 --> 00:11:34,231 He's just not tough enough. 223 00:11:34,297 --> 00:11:35,972 He's a purple belt. That's really high. 224 00:11:36,025 --> 00:11:38,070 I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. 225 00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:39,212 I can murder him. 226 00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:42,313 - It's just that out there, you... - Oh, is that what they're saying? 227 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,913 - Yeah, kind of. - Okay. 228 00:11:44,326 --> 00:11:45,432 Alright. 229 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:47,173 Where's Dwight ? 230 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:48,551 - Kitchen. - Okay. 231 00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:54,712 Try it again. Here we go. 232 00:11:55,575 --> 00:11:56,171 Good. 233 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,350 - It way actually pretty good, right ? - Excellent. 234 00:11:58,376 --> 00:12:00,030 Now watch. Let me take you from behind. 235 00:12:00,077 --> 00:12:01,883 Watch out Kelly, might sucker punch you. 236 00:12:02,026 --> 00:12:04,162 - I didn't sucker punch you Michael. - No, really ? 237 00:12:04,215 --> 00:12:06,851 In case you didn't remember, I was defending my honor. 238 00:12:06,947 --> 00:12:08,771 - Like samouraï. - Really, oh, is that it ? 239 00:12:08,845 --> 00:12:11,280 Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch, 240 00:12:11,296 --> 00:12:12,971 which I absorbed. 241 00:12:13,045 --> 00:12:17,423 I had no idea that there'd be a second punch. So, catch-22. 242 00:12:17,586 --> 00:12:20,070 Okay, fine, tit for tit. 243 00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:22,753 Give it your best shot, two punches, go. 244 00:12:22,927 --> 00:12:24,642 Look, if we were in a bar, 245 00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:26,341 right now, there would be two punches. 246 00:12:26,387 --> 00:12:28,171 Me punching you and you hitting the floor. 247 00:12:28,217 --> 00:12:30,400 No, I'd block your first punch, rending ineffective. 248 00:12:30,427 --> 00:12:31,240 - Really - Yeah 249 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:33,872 You know what, you're just lucky that we're at work right now. 250 00:12:33,925 --> 00:12:36,743 - What about, Dwight's dojo ? - No, they just have classes. 251 00:12:36,768 --> 00:12:38,290 It's free during the day, it's fine. 252 00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:39,493 - Look ! - I've got the key. 253 00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:40,741 - Hey, Michael ! - Hey, Toby. 254 00:12:40,778 --> 00:12:41,602 Any word on those... 255 00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:44,650 You know what ? I have an idea, why don't you just leave right now? 256 00:12:44,845 --> 00:12:47,171 Why don't you walk away from the room, okay ? 257 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,680 Fine. 258 00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,443 We'll go at lunch. 259 00:12:52,065 --> 00:12:54,441 Pam, make an announcement. 260 00:12:55,715 --> 00:12:57,260 Figure out carpools. 261 00:13:00,266 --> 00:13:02,841 Well, we're all getting excited to see this fight 262 00:13:02,977 --> 00:13:06,360 The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing. 263 00:13:06,605 --> 00:13:10,151 But Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour... 264 00:13:10,315 --> 00:13:13,850 so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. 265 00:13:14,665 --> 00:13:19,163 Fight, Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight. 266 00:13:23,917 --> 00:13:24,933 Sorry. 267 00:13:33,775 --> 00:13:37,853 I recognize that. That is Japanese for California roll. 268 00:13:38,087 --> 00:13:39,091 No it's not. 269 00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:40,811 I think it is, a guy told me about that. 270 00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:43,101 Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline. 271 00:13:44,048 --> 00:13:46,463 - Wow, that is really interesting. - What ? 272 00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:49,221 Your love line... I'm just kidding, I can't see anything. 273 00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:50,690 Look closer. 274 00:13:51,545 --> 00:13:53,260 - Oh-kay. - One point for me. 275 00:13:53,295 --> 00:13:54,460 - Tied up. - Oh you're dead 276 00:13:54,505 --> 00:13:57,063 What ? What are you going to do? Bring it Beesly. Bring it. 277 00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,601 Ooh, yeah. Good move. 278 00:13:58,696 --> 00:14:01,032 Ooh, not such an ultimate fighter now, huh ? 279 00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:03,340 Hey, put me down. Put me down ! 280 00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:05,501 Oh my God. Hey, put me down. 281 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:06,910 Hey. 282 00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:13,563 Okay, gentlemen, listen up. 283 00:14:14,195 --> 00:14:15,930 After a clean strike to the chest, 284 00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:19,571 stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. 285 00:14:19,808 --> 00:14:21,300 First person to three wins, alright? 286 00:14:21,346 --> 00:14:23,241 - Yes, sensei ! - Lot of rules. Lot of rules. 287 00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:25,882 On the street, we didn't have any rules. Maybe one, 288 00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:27,742 no kicks to the groin, home for dinner. 289 00:14:28,195 --> 00:14:29,251 Hajime! 290 00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:32,311 - What the hell was that ? - Dwight. 291 00:14:32,337 --> 00:14:33,283 - Yes. - No way. 292 00:14:33,296 --> 00:14:34,160 - One point. - Okay. 293 00:14:34,188 --> 00:14:35,072 - Eat it ! - Alright 294 00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:37,121 - That's the way you want to do it ? - Two more. 295 00:14:37,156 --> 00:14:39,350 You want to play dirty, huh? Okay, game on, man. 296 00:14:39,486 --> 00:14:41,753 - Sweep the leg. - I'm coming at you, man. 297 00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,173 Ha ! Okay, purple belt. 298 00:14:50,795 --> 00:14:52,183 - Okay, I got it. - No. 299 00:14:52,245 --> 00:14:53,963 - I got his pants. - That was my pants. 300 00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:55,993 No points for pants. 301 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,252 Dwight, you have... No, look. No, you have something... 302 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,622 You have something... 303 00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:02,673 God, you look like such an idiot. 304 00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:12,921 Clean technique gentlemen. 305 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,462 Come on. Do that again. Do that again. I dare you. 306 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,781 Okay, break. Break. No holding. 307 00:15:19,855 --> 00:15:22,281 Oh, you can't see ? You can't see ? 308 00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:24,833 One point. Two points. Three points. 309 00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:26,933 - I said break. - How many points now ? 310 00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:28,323 I win, I win. 311 00:15:30,318 --> 00:15:31,850 No, you didn't. 312 00:15:33,227 --> 00:15:35,213 Eight points, nine points. 313 00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:38,142 Stop it. No. 314 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,181 Come on, Michael! 315 00:15:40,258 --> 00:15:42,222 - Open your mouth. - No, Michael ! 316 00:15:57,877 --> 00:15:58,991 You talkin' to me ? 317 00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,270 You talkin' to me ? 318 00:16:02,098 --> 00:16:03,721 Raging Bull, Pacino. 319 00:16:04,286 --> 00:16:06,533 Oh, I want that footage. I want it. I need it. 320 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,712 Oh, I have to get back to work. I have lots of work. 321 00:16:10,505 --> 00:16:12,521 Check this out, come here. 322 00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:15,003 There he is, Mr.Temp. 323 00:16:15,095 --> 00:16:17,593 Having lunch by the car. 324 00:16:18,236 --> 00:16:20,390 Let us play with him. 325 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,031 See what we can learn. 326 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,071 Oh, we're playing phone tag. 327 00:16:32,247 --> 00:16:34,183 Seven new messages. 328 00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:35,771 First new message. 329 00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:38,592 Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein. 330 00:16:39,587 --> 00:16:43,103 - Next message. - Hey Ryan, this is your girlfriend. 331 00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:45,090 And I'm mad. 332 00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:10,232 My emergency contact is Todd Packer. 333 00:17:10,716 --> 00:17:13,621 Todd F. Packer 334 00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:15,942 - You know what the F stands for ? - Fudge ? 335 00:17:16,726 --> 00:17:18,703 Yeah. Oh, come in. 336 00:17:19,265 --> 00:17:20,723 Oh, hey, Karate Kid. 337 00:17:21,138 --> 00:17:22,682 The Hillary Swank version. 338 00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:24,991 Hi, how are you ? 339 00:17:25,207 --> 00:17:27,562 I need to change my emergency contact information 340 00:17:27,725 --> 00:17:28,941 from Michael Scott. 341 00:17:29,427 --> 00:17:32,143 - Okay, to what ? - Just put... 342 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,530 The hospital. 343 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,541 Contact number : 344 00:17:36,825 --> 00:17:37,932 Just put 911. 345 00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:41,521 He is such a sore loser. 346 00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:43,382 You heard obviously, 347 00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:46,101 that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon. 348 00:17:47,636 --> 00:17:51,193 You know what, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact. 349 00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:54,493 And I will call the hospital. Cut out the middleman. 350 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,810 - Later Jim. - Later Kev. 351 00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:15,970 - Have a good weekend. - Yeah, you too. 352 00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:29,492 Yeah. 353 00:18:29,657 --> 00:18:31,110 I have the emergency contacts. 354 00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:33,681 Just lay 'em on the chair. I'll take it from here. 355 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,632 So what you up to this weekend ? 356 00:18:38,238 --> 00:18:39,932 Hanging out with some friends probably. 357 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,971 Well, if you do anything crazy, give me a shout. 358 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,990 Yeah. Alright, I will, see you Monday. 359 00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,240 Alright. Bye. 360 00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:57,352 - Dwight ? - Michael, did you finish yet ? 361 00:18:57,557 --> 00:18:59,880 This close. Dwight, may I speak with you for a minute. 362 00:18:59,927 --> 00:19:00,942 I'm busy. 363 00:19:00,975 --> 00:19:02,802 Well, busier. But I'm making the time. 364 00:19:02,866 --> 00:19:05,082 Michael, can't your conversation wait till Monday ? 365 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,473 - We want to go home. - Well, 366 00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:08,840 You don't even have anybody to go home to, Toby. So... 367 00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:10,863 The shipping place closes in a half hour. 368 00:19:10,925 --> 00:19:11,911 I know. 369 00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:15,093 But I've been carrying the load on my back all day. 370 00:19:15,226 --> 00:19:18,121 And if everyone would just chip in a little bit, 371 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:20,661 might help me out. 372 00:19:20,887 --> 00:19:21,913 What do you say ? 373 00:19:22,048 --> 00:19:23,713 Let's gang bang this thing and go home. 374 00:19:23,775 --> 00:19:24,793 Good. 375 00:19:32,555 --> 00:19:34,970 - This is illegal. - I don't care. 376 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,862 I have been testing you the entire day. 377 00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,571 Did you know that ? 378 00:19:44,247 --> 00:19:45,841 Of course. 379 00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:47,992 And I'm happy to say that you passed. 380 00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:51,102 So, effective immediately, I am promoting you, 381 00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:53,712 from assistant to the regional manager 382 00:19:53,968 --> 00:19:55,573 to assistant regional manager. 383 00:19:59,317 --> 00:20:00,581 Michael... 384 00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:03,200 I don't know. I, I know. I know. I know. 385 00:20:03,498 --> 00:20:06,683 I know. I wouldn't be offering it if I didn't think you could handle it. 386 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,700 - I can handle it, I can. - I know. Okay. 387 00:20:12,547 --> 00:20:15,661 So I guess this'll just by my office. 388 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:18,383 No. No. Title change only. 389 00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:20,851 - I'll have Pam send out a memo. - No, nope. 390 00:20:20,925 --> 00:20:22,281 Three month probationary period. 391 00:20:22,338 --> 00:20:25,313 Let's just not tell anybody about this right now. 392 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:27,041 - Just a formality ? - Absolutely. 393 00:20:27,066 --> 00:20:28,581 But not really. 394 00:20:28,817 --> 00:20:30,133 Michael. 395 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,842 I have so much, to learn, from you. 396 00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:39,511 Yes you do. 397 00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,312 Thank you. 398 00:20:45,897 --> 00:20:47,011 Sensei. 399 00:20:50,467 --> 00:20:52,033 And, Ditto. 400 00:20:53,698 --> 00:20:56,650 I told Dwight that there is honor in losing. 401 00:20:56,915 --> 00:20:59,063 Which as we all know is completely ridiculous. 402 00:20:59,146 --> 00:21:03,210 But, there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better. 403 00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:05,252 Which is what I just did for Dwight. 404 00:21:06,316 --> 00:21:09,311 Would I rather be feared or loved ? 405 00:21:10,055 --> 00:21:14,820 Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. 406 00:21:15,377 --> 00:21:18,142 And I think I proved that today at the dojo. 407 00:21:18,315 --> 00:21:21,143 - Typewriter torture. - Sensei help ! 408 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,191 - No. - Typewriter !