1
00:00:10,686 --> 00:00:11,974
You should get one of these.
2
00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:13,290
No, thank you.
3
00:00:13,936 --> 00:00:15,610
Do you even know what this is ?
4
00:00:15,939 --> 00:00:19,220
It is a fitness orb. And it has
completely changed my life
5
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,688
Forget everything you thought
you knew about ab workouts.
6
00:00:25,196 --> 00:00:25,848
Done.
7
00:00:25,988 --> 00:00:28,704
This ab workout is specifically designed,
8
00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:30,209
to strenghthen your core.
9
00:00:31,221 --> 00:00:32,487
- Sorry.
- That's alright.
10
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,061
Numerous health benefits.
11
00:00:38,510 --> 00:00:39,341
Strengthens your back.
12
00:00:40,113 --> 00:00:41,410
Better performance in sports.
13
00:00:42,773 --> 00:00:44,033
More enjoyable sex.
14
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,363
You are not having sex.
15
00:00:49,366 --> 00:00:51,622
Plus, improves your reflexes.
16
00:00:52,808 --> 00:00:53,822
See, I would've caught that.
17
00:00:53,926 --> 00:00:54,560
Okay, you know what ?
18
00:00:55,136 --> 00:00:55,750
How much is that ?
19
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:57,803
It's only 25 bucks.
20
00:01:00,218 --> 00:01:00,810
Okay.
21
00:01:37,838 --> 00:01:40,331
Syncro : Occeane (pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/)
Transcript : Nikki(twiztv.com)
22
00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:45,790
Pam, could I see you in my office ?
23
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:50,561
It's performance review day,
company wide.
24
00:01:50,648 --> 00:01:51,790
Last year,
25
00:01:52,106 --> 00:01:56,580
my performance review started with Michael
asking me what my hopes and dreams were.
26
00:01:57,057 --> 00:02:01,653
And it ended with him telling me
he could bench press 190 pounds.
27
00:02:02,495 --> 00:02:04,572
So I don't really know what to expect.
28
00:02:05,277 --> 00:02:07,621
- Pam, you're trustworthy. And a woman.
- Thank you.
29
00:02:07,738 --> 00:02:08,190
Oh no.
30
00:02:08,277 --> 00:02:11,561
And I want you to listen to
a voice mail from my boss.
31
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:15,721
Micheal, it's Jan. I guess I missed you.
32
00:02:16,105 --> 00:02:19,091
I'll, be there this afternoon
for performance reviews.
33
00:02:19,838 --> 00:02:22,900
I hope it's understood, that will be
our only topic of discussion.
34
00:02:23,515 --> 00:02:24,543
See you soon.
35
00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:26,461
First impressions ?
36
00:02:28,337 --> 00:02:29,663
Just off the top,
37
00:02:30,305 --> 00:02:32,213
I think she'll be here this afternoon.
38
00:02:32,597 --> 00:02:33,913
My boss is coming in today.
39
00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:35,692
The lovely Jan Levinson-Gould.
40
00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:38,422
Well, no Gould. The Gould has been.
41
00:02:38,716 --> 00:02:39,873
Divorce
42
00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:43,821
The awkward part is that
this is the first time,
43
00:02:44,007 --> 00:02:45,941
we'll be seeing each other since...
44
00:02:47,195 --> 00:02:48,051
Well...
45
00:02:49,216 --> 00:02:52,180
it was really nothing. We just sort
of got caught up in the moment.
46
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:55,080
The vulnerable devorcee,
47
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:59,360
gives herself to the understanding
with rugged good looks office manager.
48
00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:03,883
Just, uh, she didn't want it to
continue for some reason
49
00:03:05,406 --> 00:03:08,553
We both didn't, I didn't want, we
both didn't want it to continue.
50
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,780
It was not professional.
51
00:03:12,535 --> 00:03:14,621
hen people say it, something's
mutual, it never is.
52
00:03:15,537 --> 00:03:16,800
But this was mutual.
53
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,522
I guess I missed you.
54
00:03:20,096 --> 00:03:22,222
I guess I missed you.
55
00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:24,773
So she misses me.
56
00:03:25,087 --> 00:03:26,803
She missed you.
57
00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:30,212
But then she goes on to say,
58
00:03:30,365 --> 00:03:32,552
"That will be our only
topic of our discussion."
59
00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:34,693
That doesn't mean anything.
Those are just words.
60
00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:36,512
I have one idea of what it means.
61
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:37,792
Okay, yeah, what ? What ?
62
00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:39,953
Well, I don't think you're going
to be very happy with this.
63
00:03:40,108 --> 00:03:41,332
Oh great.
64
00:03:42,838 --> 00:03:44,970
Alrigh, well, now I'm in a terrible mood.
65
00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,480
Let's do your performance review.
66
00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:49,961
Because she's conflicted.
67
00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:52,181
She has to be professional.
68
00:03:52,238 --> 00:03:54,732
But she's fighting feelings for you.
69
00:03:55,966 --> 00:03:57,853
Why, that's great news.
70
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,011
That-that,
71
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,223
then why would, why
would I not like that ?
72
00:04:01,926 --> 00:04:04,080
Just cause that you work together.
73
00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:06,441
- And it might be awkward.
- Wow, wow.
74
00:04:07,558 --> 00:04:09,211
Alright, let's listen to that again.
75
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,093
Michael, it's Jan.
I guess I miss you.
76
00:04:15,217 --> 00:04:16,471
Listen, Jim.
77
00:04:17,186 --> 00:04:19,002
Here's a little tip for your
performance review.
78
00:04:19,528 --> 00:04:20,773
Tell Micheal,
79
00:04:20,876 --> 00:04:24,750
that we should be stocking more of
the double tabbed manilla file folders.
80
00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:26,820
We don't have double
tabbed manilla file folders.
81
00:04:26,926 --> 00:04:27,800
- Oh yes we do.
- No we don't.
82
00:04:27,885 --> 00:04:28,861
Yeah, it's a new product.
83
00:04:28,907 --> 00:04:31,231
So you should just suggest that to him.
84
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:33,040
And then he'll be sure
to give you a raise.
85
00:04:35,038 --> 00:04:36,210
Well, I'm not asking for a raise.
86
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,730
I'm gonna actually be
asking for a pay decrease.
87
00:04:39,468 --> 00:04:41,101
That is so stupid.
88
00:04:41,405 --> 00:04:43,141
What if he gives it to you ?
89
00:04:43,725 --> 00:04:44,503
Then I win.
90
00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:47,860
You know what, I am going to zone
you out for the rest of today.
91
00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:50,162
I need to stay focused.
92
00:04:50,265 --> 00:04:52,221
And I don't have to see you
tomorrow or Sunday.
93
00:04:52,398 --> 00:04:54,800
please don't call me and we'll see
how things go on Monday.
94
00:04:57,428 --> 00:04:59,021
Stupid.
95
00:04:59,997 --> 00:05:01,170
Wait, wait, one thing.
96
00:05:02,348 --> 00:05:04,330
By tomorrow, you mean Saturday, right ?
97
00:05:07,365 --> 00:05:10,110
Today is Thursday.
But Dwight thinks that it's Friday.
98
00:05:11,255 --> 00:05:14,051
And that's what I'll be
working on this afternoon.
99
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:18,433
Sometimes women say more in their
pauses than they say in thier words.
100
00:05:18,556 --> 00:05:20,202
- Really ?
- Oh yes.
101
00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:21,723
Let's listen to it again.
102
00:05:21,987 --> 00:05:24,750
And this time, really
listen to the pauses.
103
00:05:25,348 --> 00:05:27,721
Stanley, that's freakin' brilliant.
How do you know that ?
104
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,983
Did you learn that on the streets ?
105
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,850
- Sorry.
- Oh, it's okay.
106
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,642
I did learn it on the streets.
107
00:05:33,997 --> 00:05:35,660
On the ghetto, in fact.
108
00:05:36,115 --> 00:05:37,530
No kidding.
109
00:05:38,426 --> 00:05:39,801
It's all about my bonus.
110
00:05:42,315 --> 00:05:44,322
- Michael and Jan definitely made out.
- Oh !
111
00:05:44,498 --> 00:05:46,261
Maybe more.
112
00:05:47,506 --> 00:05:49,902
Also it is Thursday, but
Dwight thinks it's Friday.
113
00:05:50,006 --> 00:05:52,330
- So, keep that going.
- Yay !
114
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:59,341
Good work Stanley.
Great performance review.
115
00:05:59,456 --> 00:06:01,222
For Stanley in the house everybody.
116
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,141
Angela, it's your turn.
117
00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:06,383
Actually look forward to
performance review.
118
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,203
I did the youth beauty pageant circuit.
119
00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,372
And I enjoyed that quite a bit.
120
00:06:11,837 --> 00:06:13,820
I really enjoy being judged.
121
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:18,712
I believe I hold up very well
to even severe scrutiny.
122
00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:19,691
Michael.
123
00:06:19,807 --> 00:06:21,321
- Yeah.
- Jan's on the phone for you.
124
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:25,152
Angela, you were totally
satisfactory this year.
125
00:06:27,028 --> 00:06:28,170
Interesting,
126
00:06:28,328 --> 00:06:31,022
Jan is calling me.
Maybe it wasn't so mutual after all.
127
00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:33,023
Yeah.
128
00:06:33,177 --> 00:06:34,201
- Michael.
- Jan !
129
00:06:34,525 --> 00:06:36,572
To what do I owe this pleasure ?
130
00:06:37,036 --> 00:06:38,802
I am returning your many calls.
131
00:06:38,925 --> 00:06:40,740
Well, hello to you too.
132
00:06:41,856 --> 00:06:43,251
I was just...
133
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:47,330
I just wanted to get some closure
on what transpired between us,
134
00:06:48,395 --> 00:06:50,993
At the meeting we had I
in the parking lot of the Chili's.
135
00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:54,873
No.
136
00:06:55,508 --> 00:06:57,600
No. We-we won't be
discussing that, Michael.
137
00:06:57,726 --> 00:07:00,342
The only things I want to talk about
during your performance review,
138
00:07:00,408 --> 00:07:03,353
are your concrete ideas
to improve your branch.
139
00:07:03,578 --> 00:07:06,070
Well, surely this,
140
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,380
because of what ...
141
00:07:10,218 --> 00:07:12,822
happened, uh, at our meeting
in the parking lot of the Chili's.
142
00:07:12,845 --> 00:07:15,271
Review is anything but
a formality, Michael.
143
00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:19,441
And, uh, I expec you to forget
anything that you think may,
144
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:23,481
have happened between us and exhibit
completely professional behavior.
145
00:07:24,643 --> 00:07:25,500
I'm thinking about you.
146
00:07:25,673 --> 00:07:28,913
That is an example of completely
unprofessional behavior.
147
00:07:29,435 --> 00:07:31,673
I don't see how that's unprofessional.
148
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,023
- Michael.
- Yeah.
149
00:07:33,178 --> 00:07:34,513
- Are the cameras
in there with you ?
150
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:35,481
- In your office ?
- No
151
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,001
They are not.
152
00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:40,451
Yes they are.
153
00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,483
That's my girlfriend.
154
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,891
I heard they made out and had sex.
155
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,800
I heard they just made out. That's it.
156
00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:55,420
Well, I heard they made out...
157
00:07:56,395 --> 00:07:59,041
- And had sex.
- Don't talk about it.
158
00:08:00,498 --> 00:08:03,511
Office romances are nobody's
business but the people involved.
159
00:08:06,876 --> 00:08:08,660
Romances ?
160
00:08:09,476 --> 00:08:12,612
Pam, I have ideas on
a daily basis, I know I do.
161
00:08:13,157 --> 00:08:16,441
I have a clear memory of
telling people my ideas.
162
00:08:17,745 --> 00:08:19,951
is there any chance that you
wrote any of my ideas down ?
163
00:08:20,155 --> 00:08:22,563
in a folder, like an idea folder ?
164
00:08:22,657 --> 00:08:23,331
Sorry.
165
00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:28,582
How about the suggestion box ?
166
00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:29,950
There's tons of ideas in there.
167
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,980
- What suggestion box ?
- The suggestion box that I put out.
168
00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:35,690
And people could put in
suggestions anonymously.
169
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:38,102
- Maybe there's prizes ?
- Oh yeah.
170
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,001
Oh yeah. I think I remember that
from back when I first started.
171
00:08:41,156 --> 00:08:43,360
Why don't you find it and
then tell people to get theirs-
172
00:08:44,287 --> 00:08:45,111
Never mind, I'll tell them.
173
00:08:45,227 --> 00:08:46,403
Hello, everybody.
174
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,361
Yeah, ah, attention, please.
175
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,450
Jan Levinson's coming very soon.
176
00:08:50,707 --> 00:08:53,873
And so we're going to have our
weekly suggestion box meeting.
177
00:08:54,538 --> 00:08:58,060
So you can all get in your
constructive compliments ASAP.
178
00:08:58,647 --> 00:09:00,380
Don't you mean constructive criticism ?
179
00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:02,872
- What did I say ?
- You said constructive compliments.
180
00:09:02,927 --> 00:09:03,801
That doesn't make any sense.
181
00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:06,361
Well, Kelly. That was neither
constructive nor a compliment.
182
00:09:06,437 --> 00:09:09,082
o maybe you should stop
criticizing my English.
183
00:09:09,368 --> 00:09:11,572
And start making some suggestions.
184
00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:12,730
Okay ?
185
00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:15,871
Dan, this is Jim, it is about 11:15.
186
00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:18,191
and I wanted to know what
you were up to tomorrow,
187
00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:21,821
which is the 15th and that is a...
188
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:22,813
Saturday.
189
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:26,891
Saturday, so just let me know what you're
doing tomorrow, Saturday, for lunch.
190
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,891
Okay, talk to you soon.
191
00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:37,840
- Okay, bye-bye.
192
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,561
Would you please tell
Michael that I'm here.
193
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:40,491
Sure.
194
00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:41,840
Hi, Jan.
195
00:09:41,927 --> 00:09:43,271
- How are you ?
- Hi Micheal, I'm good. How are you ?
196
00:09:43,346 --> 00:09:44,892
- Good to see you.
- Nice to see you.
197
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:45,801
Okay.
198
00:09:46,637 --> 00:09:48,383
Okay, why don't we
just step into my off ?
199
00:09:49,987 --> 00:09:51,870
- We're to go in here.
- Can we please go into your office ?
200
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:54,362
Yep, right after you.
201
00:09:54,608 --> 00:09:56,441
Apres vous.
202
00:10:04,986 --> 00:10:05,622
I got...
203
00:10:06,516 --> 00:10:08,101
- Thank you.
- It's nice to see you.
204
00:10:08,528 --> 00:10:10,323
- Nice to see you too Michael.
- Really ?
205
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:12,192
Not like that.
206
00:10:14,388 --> 00:10:17,082
You know, Michael, I think I need to
make something clear right off the top.
207
00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:21,253
I'm not going to discuss anything with
you other than Dunder Mifflin business.
208
00:10:21,445 --> 00:10:22,153
- Alright.
- Period.
209
00:10:22,228 --> 00:10:22,842
Yep.
210
00:10:22,947 --> 00:10:25,172
- Do we understand each other ?
- Absolutely.
211
00:10:25,356 --> 00:10:27,972
I'm a little confused because
first it's all like kissey, kissey.
212
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:30,883
And then it's like all regret.
Because, oh, I regret that.
213
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,533
But wait, I'm still going to call you.
214
00:10:33,977 --> 00:10:36,081
But-but we're just going
to talk business.
215
00:10:36,738 --> 00:10:39,633
And I may come down there and
fire you if you don't do your job.
216
00:10:39,908 --> 00:10:42,600
But what were we talking
about when we first kissed ?
217
00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:43,892
Business.
218
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,612
So are you still in the middle of
performance reviews then ?
219
00:10:46,676 --> 00:10:46,990
No, no, no.
220
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:50,082
I finished all of that. I'm very fast.
I'm not too fast.
221
00:10:50,656 --> 00:10:52,642
Not like wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
222
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,271
But I do say thank you, ma'am.
223
00:10:55,498 --> 00:10:57,601
But I'm not like, wham, bam.
224
00:10:57,906 --> 00:11:00,063
Not that there's anything
wrong with wham, bam.
225
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:02,110
If it's consensual.
226
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:06,063
We're talking about office stuff.
227
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,500
- Can I ask you a question ?
- No.
228
00:11:09,828 --> 00:11:11,622
This is a business question.
229
00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:13,353
It is nothing personal, I promise.
230
00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:14,922
F ine.
231
00:11:15,597 --> 00:11:17,702
Are you wearing a new perfume today ?
232
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:20,723
How is that a business question ?
233
00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:22,572
Well, you're wearing it at the office.
234
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:23,901
And...
235
00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:24,563
it,
236
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:27,482
I'm sorry, no offense,
but it's really sexy.
237
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,482
Please don't smell me Michael.
238
00:11:33,636 --> 00:11:35,522
- Hey Jim.
- Hey, how's it going ?
239
00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:37,511
Oh, my God, did you see
The Apprentice last night ?
240
00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:39,332
Of course, it's on every Thursday night.
241
00:11:39,418 --> 00:11:40,462
So how can I miss it ?
242
00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:41,831
Can you believe who Trump fired ?
243
00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:43,402
- No, that was unbelievable.
- Who ?
244
00:11:43,558 --> 00:11:45,590
- Who was it? Who did he fire ?
- You didn't see it?
245
00:11:46,627 --> 00:11:49,101
No. I went out and got drunk with
my laser tag team last night.
246
00:11:49,207 --> 00:11:50,181
Crap!
247
00:11:50,387 --> 00:11:52,073
I never go out on a Thursday night.
248
00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:54,492
What the hell was I thinking ?
249
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:57,171
I don't understand...
250
00:11:57,446 --> 00:11:59,113
Hold on, sorry.
251
00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:00,461
Yes, Pam.
252
00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:03,073
Michael, it's time for the
suggestion box meeting.
253
00:12:03,106 --> 00:12:05,582
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
I wish you wouldn't interrupt.
254
00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:09,342
You told me to buzz you about the
suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.
255
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:11,802
I did not, not use those words.
256
00:12:11,817 --> 00:12:14,463
I'd like to sit in on that meeting.
Is it happening right now ?
257
00:12:14,537 --> 00:12:15,631
No, it's in like, 10 minutes.
258
00:12:15,756 --> 00:12:17,632
Everyone's waiting in
the conference room.
259
00:12:17,816 --> 00:12:19,502
Great, very good.
260
00:12:25,046 --> 00:12:26,493
Why are we here ?
261
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,670
Because I value your opinions.
262
00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:31,902
Now I know a lot of you don't think
that I read your suggestions.
263
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:32,492
But I do.
264
00:12:32,547 --> 00:12:34,871
I just sift through them every week.
265
00:12:35,076 --> 00:12:37,801
And I really look and scrutinize,
266
00:12:38,317 --> 00:12:39,573
to see what you guys are writing.
267
00:12:40,016 --> 00:12:43,633
So let's just, uh, read some
of these suckers, okay ?
268
00:12:43,786 --> 00:12:45,600
Alright. Number one.
269
00:12:45,736 --> 00:12:47,770
"What should we do to prepare for Y2K ?"
270
00:12:47,845 --> 00:12:49,901
"What should we do to prepare for Y2K ?"
271
00:12:50,055 --> 00:12:51,301
I thought you read these every week ?
272
00:12:51,386 --> 00:12:53,763
Well, obviously, this one
got stuck in the box.
273
00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:56,622
- That happens occasionally.
- It happens occasionally.
274
00:12:56,726 --> 00:12:58,192
And, so...
275
00:12:58,856 --> 00:13:00,992
One down. Next suggestion.
276
00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:06,151
"We need a better outreach for
employees fighting depression."
277
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:08,641
Okay, alright, enought with the jokes.
278
00:13:09,065 --> 00:13:11,163
Nobody in here is suffering
from depression.
279
00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:12,950
That sounds serious Michael.
280
00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:15,312
Well, yeah. Who wrote it ?
281
00:13:15,457 --> 00:13:17,071
- Tom ?
- Tom. Then it is a joke.
282
00:13:17,107 --> 00:13:19,063
Because there is nobody
in here named Tom.
283
00:13:19,128 --> 00:13:21,993
Tom ? He worked in accounting
up until about a year ago.
284
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,470
Tom.
285
00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:29,893
Oh, that guy. That guy was weird.
286
00:13:30,926 --> 00:13:32,832
- Alright, next suggestion.
- Next suggestion.
287
00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:34,781
Argh, badoo badoo.
288
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,681
"You need to do something
about your B.O."
289
00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,880
You need to do something about your B.O.
290
00:13:40,276 --> 00:13:43,580
Now, I don't know who
this suggestion is meant for.
291
00:13:43,665 --> 00:13:45,743
But it's more of a personal suggestion,
292
00:13:46,096 --> 00:13:47,912
And it's not an office suggestion.
293
00:13:48,016 --> 00:13:50,390
And far be it from me to use this
as a platform to embarass anybody.
294
00:13:50,427 --> 00:13:53,791
Aren't the suggestions meant for you ?
295
00:13:54,508 --> 00:13:55,613
Well, Toby.
296
00:13:55,808 --> 00:14:00,420
If by me you are inferring
that I have B.O.,
297
00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:04,090
hen I would say that that is
a very poor choice of words.
298
00:14:04,908 --> 00:14:08,122
Micheal, he wasn't inferring, he
was implying. You were inferring.
299
00:14:08,237 --> 00:14:09,603
Was I, Creed ?
300
00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:12,821
Okay, well, you know what I am implying,
301
00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:15,471
is that when we're on
an elevator together,
302
00:14:15,497 --> 00:14:17,453
I should maybe take the stairs,
303
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,560
because talk about stank.
304
00:14:19,936 --> 00:14:22,070
Not that I would ever say
something like that in public,
305
00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:23,790
and I never have, and I never will,
306
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,372
just think it's something that we
should all be aware of.
307
00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:27,893
okay ?
308
00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:31,063
Now that we've learned this,
let's continue.
309
00:14:31,478 --> 00:14:34,981
See, this is good. We're learning,
and we're figuring some stuff out.
310
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,391
"You need to do something
about your coffee breath."
311
00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:39,431
- You need to do something about
- Shut up, shut up, shut up,
312
00:14:39,556 --> 00:14:41,661
Okay, I don't think you
people are grasping,
313
00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:44,912
the concept of the suggestion box.
314
00:14:45,128 --> 00:14:47,742
Sometimes you talk to us real close.
315
00:14:48,317 --> 00:14:50,031
Yeah? Is that hard for you ?
316
00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:50,893
Alright, well...
317
00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:52,871
- Well, when you have coffee breath, it's hard
- I'll work on that, okay.
318
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,801
Okay. Let's keep, let's keep going.
319
00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:59,470
What do we have here ? We have..
320
00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:02,220
Somebody's piece of gum.
321
00:15:02,255 --> 00:15:03,402
Somebody put a piece
of gum in there.
322
00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:06,060
This is not a-a garbage can.
323
00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,440
This is the future of our company.
324
00:15:07,526 --> 00:15:09,872
This is not a place for gum, okay ?
325
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,311
I don't want to have to
read these tomorrow...
326
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,451
Yeah, who wants to
come in on a Saturday ?
327
00:15:14,896 --> 00:15:16,220
Yeah. What ?
328
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,412
- Alright. Next suggestion.
- Next suggestion.
329
00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:23,500
"Don't sl-" Okay, that's blank.
330
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,541
"Don't sleep with your boss ?"
331
00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:30,353
Do you think this is referring
to you boning Jan ?
332
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:34,832
- I can't, I can't. Alright, please sit down
- I don't understand why you're so upset.
333
00:15:34,857 --> 00:15:36,681
I'm going to sit over here,
you're going to sit over there.
334
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,443
Let me ask you this.
335
00:15:37,486 --> 00:15:38,412
Please sit yourself down.
336
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,750
- Let me ask you something.
- What, Michael ?
337
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,072
Where did you get your outfit ?
338
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:47,690
You’re going to give me this raise.
339
00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:49,860
I deserve this raise.
340
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,162
Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
341
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:58,151
The least you can do is keep my
salary consistent with inflation !
342
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:03,013
Yes! Why are you going to
give me this raise ?!
343
00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:04,871
Why ?!
344
00:16:05,956 --> 00:16:08,763
Because, I’m awesome !
345
00:16:08,847 --> 00:16:11,162
I am awesome !
346
00:16:11,587 --> 00:16:13,792
I just don't understand,
347
00:16:13,837 --> 00:16:15,872
why you have to pretend
like nothing happened.
348
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:17,862
Because nothing did Michael.
349
00:16:18,907 --> 00:16:21,211
It, I'm not going to say
anything more about it.
350
00:16:21,225 --> 00:16:22,791
And I would advise that you do the same.
351
00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:24,650
Look.
Michael ?
352
00:16:24,798 --> 00:16:26,412
- Oh my God.
- I'm sorry, am I interrupting.
353
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,261
Oh God. Were you guys making out ?
354
00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:29,852
No, Dwight. Come in.
355
00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:31,522
- Great.
- What do you want, Dwight ?
356
00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:33,950
I am ready for my performance review.
357
00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:37,230
Okay. Great. Your performance
has been adaquate.
358
00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,342
You may leave. Good-bye.
359
00:16:39,935 --> 00:16:42,742
Is this how you've been conducting
all the reviews, Michael ?
360
00:16:43,275 --> 00:16:45,253
You want to talk now ? Good.
Okay, Dwight, leave.
361
00:16:45,407 --> 00:16:47,741
Oh, wait. I would like
to discuss my raise.
362
00:16:47,835 --> 00:16:50,201
Why on earth would we give you a raise ?
363
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,890
That is an excellent question.
364
00:16:52,087 --> 00:16:53,620
Thank you for asking.
365
00:16:55,977 --> 00:16:58,763
Let me bring up one word.
Dedication.
366
00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:02,570
I have never, been late.
367
00:17:03,028 --> 00:17:03,882
Also,
368
00:17:04,227 --> 00:17:07,011
I have never missed a day due to illness.
369
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:09,293
Even when I had walking pneumonia.
370
00:17:09,785 --> 00:17:11,943
I even come in on holidays.
371
00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:14,193
You do ? How do you get in ?
372
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:15,932
I have a copy of your key.
373
00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:18,550
- That's a serious offense.
- That is a serious offense.
374
00:17:18,628 --> 00:17:20,210
Very serious.
375
00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:22,143
As is toying with a man's heart.
376
00:17:22,226 --> 00:17:24,011
Oh, Michael, for God sakes.
377
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,973
I'd also further like to talk
about my merits in the workplace.
378
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:28,793
Okay, third wheel,
why don't you do that ?
379
00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:32,080
For instance, the time brought in
deer jerky for the whole office.
380
00:17:32,205 --> 00:17:33,993
That was deer ? Gross.
381
00:17:34,066 --> 00:17:35,882
- Oh, god, Did not
- You liked it.
382
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:37,392
- Jan, have you ever had deer?
- No
383
00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:40,041
It's a delicacy. And, you know
what, it's an aphrodisiac.
384
00:17:40,525 --> 00:17:43,410
So when we're done here, you guys
could go over to the Antler Lodge,
385
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:44,890
sample some deer, and
talk about my raise.
386
00:17:45,228 --> 00:17:46,343
What do you say Jan?
387
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,090
Okay. Here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to step outside,
388
00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:51,600
collect my thoughts, and I will
return in about 10 minutes.
389
00:17:51,746 --> 00:17:53,651
- Okay, you just, clear your head.
- Thank you Dwight.
390
00:17:56,568 --> 00:17:58,342
I know it's your job.
I know you have to ask.
391
00:17:58,497 --> 00:18:00,941
but I promise you, I'm not going
to discuss it with him.
392
00:18:01,065 --> 00:18:02,903
I'm certainly not going
to discuss it with you.
393
00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:04,913
Do you have a light?
394
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,973
And in conclusion, I think Lex Luther
said it best, when he said,
395
00:18:09,148 --> 00:18:14,340
"Dad, you have no idea,
what, I'm capable of."
396
00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:16,321
- That's from Superman ?
- Smallville.
397
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:21,460
And that, is why I feel,
I deserve this raise.
398
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,612
Do you think Michael and Jan actually...
399
00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:30,722
I don't really want to picture it,
but thank you, Pam.
400
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,243
How do you come back from that ?
401
00:18:34,545 --> 00:18:35,710
You don't
402
00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:37,893
I don't think, come all the
way back, you know?
403
00:18:38,148 --> 00:18:39,441
Especially working together.
404
00:18:39,725 --> 00:18:41,630
No, I mean, doing that with Michael.
405
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:44,513
How do you come back from that,
as a human being ?
406
00:18:44,637 --> 00:18:46,780
Oh, yeah. No. I don't think you can.
407
00:18:47,587 --> 00:18:49,423
I'm heading back to New York.
408
00:18:49,565 --> 00:18:53,302
Allan and I will conduct your performance
review over the phone tomorrow.
409
00:18:53,377 --> 00:18:54,833
- Okay, good ?
- Wait, wait, wait... No, no, no.
410
00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:57,010
Come, I just, I just want to know why.
411
00:18:57,897 --> 00:19:00,273
Michael, now is not the
time or the place.
412
00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:01,983
Okay. So you're saying that there is,
413
00:19:02,027 --> 00:19:02,950
- a different or place...
- No.
414
00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:03,880
- that we can have this discssion.
- I am saying...
415
00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:05,791
We are never gonna
have this conversation.
416
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:08,570
Well, okay. Never as in
never, ever, ever ?
417
00:19:08,795 --> 00:19:11,112
Or never as in there's no chance?
418
00:19:11,196 --> 00:19:13,050
Never for me always
means never, ever, ever.
419
00:19:13,446 --> 00:19:16,201
From the horse's mouth,
420
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,290
- what is the deal-io ?
- You know Michael.
421
00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:19,080
- Am I too short ?
- Michael !
422
00:19:19,098 --> 00:19:20,551
It has nothing to do
with your looks, okay ?
423
00:19:20,608 --> 00:19:21,780
It's your, it's your personality.
424
00:19:21,855 --> 00:19:24,470
I mean you're obnoxious, and rude.
425
00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:27,943
And-and-and stupid.
426
00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:29,862
And you do have coffee
breath by the way.
427
00:19:31,388 --> 00:19:32,703
And-and, I don't agree about the B.O.
428
00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:35,713
But you are very, very, inconsiderate.
429
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:38,261
- Really ?
- Really. You're-you're-you're...
430
00:19:39,025 --> 00:19:42,280
- You're a great guy, okay ?
- I appreciate that, thank you.
431
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:43,861
You were very sweet.
432
00:19:43,998 --> 00:19:46,421
And you stayed up with
me and talked to me,
433
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:48,943
and cried with me and I appreciate that.
434
00:19:49,018 --> 00:19:50,801
No, i wasn't, I wasn't crying.
435
00:19:50,897 --> 00:19:54,243
But I am just not in the place right now
where I'm looking for a relationship.
436
00:19:54,368 --> 00:19:56,420
So, we can still work together,
437
00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,602
We can still be friends, but...
438
00:20:00,855 --> 00:20:01,810
Okay ?
439
00:20:03,356 --> 00:20:05,952
So my looks have nothing to do with it.
440
00:20:11,866 --> 00:20:15,801
Jan is not in a place where she feels,
she can have a relationship right now.
441
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,771
And it doesn't matter
how great a guy I am.
442
00:20:19,606 --> 00:20:22,231
And that is all I needed. I'm good.
443
00:20:23,036 --> 00:20:24,510
I can go home now.
444
00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:35,642
Hey !
445
00:20:36,038 --> 00:20:38,090
It's 12:20. Where the hell is Dwight?
446
00:20:39,195 --> 00:20:40,371
No idea.
447
00:20:40,548 --> 00:20:42,200
Never missed a day my ass.
448
00:20:52,507 --> 00:20:55,010
I'm here ! I'm here!
449
00:20:57,308 --> 00:20:58,890
I'm here ! It's okay !