1
00:00:00,253 --> 00:00:01,693
Nothing much what's up with you ?

2
00:00:02,341 --> 00:00:03,854
I cannot believe I feel for that.

3
00:00:05,191 --> 00:00:06,153
Gosh.

4
00:00:06,845 --> 00:00:09,027
What ? What ?
Where's the funny ?

5
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:10,986
Give it to me.

6
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:15,737
Is it me or does it smell
like updog in here ?

7
00:00:16,382 --> 00:00:17,059
What's updog ?

8
00:00:17,299 --> 00:00:18,793
Nothing much, what's up with you ?

9
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,231
I walked right into that.

10
00:00:25,099 --> 00:00:26,659
Oh, that's brilliant.

11
00:00:27,688 --> 00:00:29,647
Hey Stanley.
Is that jacket made of updog ?

12
00:00:29,741 --> 00:00:30,925
I'm on the phone.

13
00:00:36,005 --> 00:00:37,811
What flavor coffee is that, updog ?

14
00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:39,880
- What's that ?
- I don't know. Nothing.

15
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,086
What's up with you ?

16
00:00:42,344 --> 00:00:43,342
- Huh ?
- No.

17
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,444
Damn it.

18
00:00:44,714 --> 00:00:45,746
What does that mean ?

19
00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:47,189
What does what mean ?

20
00:00:47,224 --> 00:00:49,277
- That thing you just said.
- Just forget it.

21
00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:51,224
Dwight.

22
00:00:51,998 --> 00:00:55,271
Hey, is it me or does this place
smell like updog ?

23
00:00:55,330 --> 00:00:56,972
- What's updog ?
- Gotcha !

24
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:58,821
Oh God !

25
00:00:59,928 --> 00:01:00,937
Crap.

26
00:01:03,443 --> 00:01:04,699
Nothing.

27
00:01:04,992 --> 00:01:06,540
- How are you doing ?
- Good.

28
00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:08,968
How are you doing ?

29
00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:13,812
"So close."

30
00:01:42,756 --> 00:01:44,969
Saison 2 - Episode 13
The Secret

31
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:47,937
Transcript par Nikki (twiztv.com)
Sous-titres par la Catch-22 Team

32
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,056
pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/
www.forom.com

33
00:01:51,628 --> 00:01:54,068
Today is spring cleaning day
here at Dunder Mifflin.

34
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,927
And yes, I know it's January. 
I am not an idiot.

35
00:01:57,044 --> 00:01:59,660
But if you do your spring cleaning
in January,

36
00:01:59,742 --> 00:02:01,771
guess what you don't have to do
in the spring ?

37
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:03,636
Anything.

38
00:02:04,305 --> 00:02:06,615
They say a cluttered desk means
a cluttered mind.

39
00:02:06,662 --> 00:02:09,430
Well, I say an empty desk
means an...

40
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,389
- Empty mind.
- No, that's not...

41
00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:13,325
No. That's not what I was going
to say.

42
00:02:13,994 --> 00:02:15,539
Meredith. Men's room.

43
00:02:15,633 --> 00:02:17,735
Make sure you replace
the urinal cakes.

44
00:02:17,815 --> 00:02:19,011
They're worn down.

45
00:02:19,058 --> 00:02:21,322
Kevin, file drawers.

46
00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:23,809
Angela, kitchen.

47
00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,208
Oscar, dusting.
Where's Oscar ?

48
00:02:26,782 --> 00:02:27,744
He's out sick.

49
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:30,184
That is unacceptable.

50
00:02:30,278 --> 00:02:31,944
I agree. It's unacceptable.

51
00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,287
What are you guys doing ?

52
00:02:41,492 --> 00:02:42,865
- Michael. 
- Yes.

53
00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:47,686
Oscar is out sick.

54
00:02:49,187 --> 00:02:50,290
On a Friday ?

55
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,720
-Can I do some of the talking ?
- I will do the talking.

56
00:02:58,747 --> 00:03:00,477
'Kay, let him know
that I'm here, though.

57
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:02,491
What difference does it make
that you're here ?

58
00:03:02,526 --> 00:03:04,204
Hi, Oscar, it's Michael.

59
00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:05,983
And Dwight.

60
00:03:06,781 --> 00:03:08,130
Heard you were under the weather.

61
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,066
<i>Yeah, I think I came down
with the flu.</i>

62
00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:12,599
Really. Oh, that is a shame.

63
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,887
You know, it's cleaning day
here today.

64
00:03:14,934 --> 00:03:17,547
Could've used some of that famous
Hispanic cleaning ethic.

65
00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:19,002
<i>Yeah, I feel terrible about it.</i>

66
00:03:19,048 --> 00:03:21,172
Ask for his symptoms, I'm on WebMD.

67
00:03:21,207 --> 00:03:22,485
What are your symptoms ?

68
00:03:23,389 --> 00:03:26,689
<i>I have the chills, I'm feeling
nauseous,  and my head's killing.</i>

69
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:31,391
Checks out.

70
00:03:31,415 --> 00:03:34,253
<i>Is there anything you need from me ?
I would like to go back to bed.</i>

71
00:03:34,265 --> 00:03:36,412
I need you to go to bed.
I need you to get better.

72
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,488
See you Monday,
unless you're still sick.

73
00:03:38,606 --> 00:03:41,292
- So, have a great long weekend.
- <i>I'll just be sleep...</i>

74
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,576
Okay, first impressions.

75
00:03:44,987 --> 00:03:45,996
He sounded sick.

76
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:47,743
Which is exactly how
you'd want to sound,

77
00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,652
if you wanted someone
to think you were sick.

78
00:03:49,675 --> 00:03:52,573
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Question, may I investigate ?

79
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,203
Yeah, drop what you're doing.

80
00:03:54,332 --> 00:03:55,740
Make this a priority.

81
00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:59,043
Because an office can't
function efficiently

82
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,851
unless people are at their desks
doing their jobs.

83
00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:05,707
- I bought my veil.
- Oh my God, that is so exciting.

84
00:04:06,023 --> 00:04:07,567
Can I be a bridesmaid ?

85
00:04:09,175 --> 00:04:10,735
Listen, you don't have
to answer now,

86
00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:12,401
but how are you going
to do your hair ?

87
00:04:12,436 --> 00:04:15,228
Okay, I was thinking about
wearing it down.

88
00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:17,621
Kind of like, I don't know, like...

89
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:19,107
loose with big curls.

90
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,793
You look like an angel,
I'm seriously going to cry.

91
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,676
Wowee,

92
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,124
Mikey likey.

93
00:04:25,183 --> 00:04:27,604
Why don't you wear your hair
down like that all the time ?

94
00:04:27,627 --> 00:04:28,765
It's much sexier.

95
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:33,222
Man, this must be torture for you.

96
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:37,757
Yeah, on the booze cruise, I...

97
00:04:37,956 --> 00:04:40,560
told Michael about some feelings
I used to have for Pam.

98
00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:44,126
I had just broken up
with Katy, and...

99
00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,156
had a couple of drinks. And...

100
00:04:46,813 --> 00:04:49,311
I confided in the world's
worst confidant.

101
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,267
<i>Okay.</i>

102
00:04:54,425 --> 00:04:56,596
- Hey, Mike.
- Hey, Jim bag.

103
00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:01,299
Remember that thing I told you
on the booze cruise about Pam ?

104
00:05:01,464 --> 00:05:03,434
That was personal.

105
00:05:04,079 --> 00:05:06,191
So, if we could just keep that
between you and me,

106
00:05:06,226 --> 00:05:07,129
that would be great.

107
00:05:07,188 --> 00:05:08,208
Really ?

108
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,107
- Who else knows ?
- Nobody.

109
00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:14,307
Jim and I are great friends.

110
00:05:14,377 --> 00:05:15,410
We hang out a ton.

111
00:05:16,254 --> 00:05:17,368
Mostly at work.

112
00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,638
But the fact that he told me
his secret and no one else,

113
00:05:20,673 --> 00:05:22,421
says everything about our friendship.

114
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:26,421
And it is why I intend on keeping
that secret,

115
00:05:27,007 --> 00:05:28,591
for as long as I possibly can.

116
00:05:30,055 --> 00:05:32,565
My lips are sealed.
"My lips are sealed." Bangles.

117
00:05:32,647 --> 00:05:34,348
All right, great, thank you.

118
00:05:34,747 --> 00:05:38,320
"Can you hear me,
<i>They talk about us,"<i>

119
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,508
<i>"Telling lies"</i>

120
00:05:40,879 --> 00:05:41,982
Listen, temp,

121
00:05:43,152 --> 00:05:45,088
I am conducting
a little investigation.

122
00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:48,783
So, I am no longer gonna be able
to head up spring cleaning.

123
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:50,355
Do you think you can handle it ?

124
00:05:50,624 --> 00:05:52,900
- Yeah, I think I can handle it.
- Do you think...

125
00:05:53,609 --> 00:05:55,345
or do you know ?

126
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:56,718
I think.

127
00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:01,269
Oh, God. Here.

128
00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:05,857
Hey, whatcha getting ?

129
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,194
I'm going with grape.

130
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,786
Good stuff. Good stuff.

131
00:06:11,335 --> 00:06:12,871
See the game last night ?

132
00:06:12,918 --> 00:06:15,018
- Which game ?
- Any of 'em.

133
00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:20,158
So, uh, what's the 411 ?

134
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,451
Any updates on the  "P" situation ?

135
00:06:23,196 --> 00:06:24,967
- I don't know what you mean...
- P-A-M

136
00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:26,077
- Oh. Yeah. No.
- P-A...

137
00:06:26,113 --> 00:06:27,121
Oh, okay.

138
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,717
No, it's okay. We're talking code.

139
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:30,511
- What is ?
- Listen, Stan...

140
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:32,799
how long does it take you
for you to pick out a soda ?

141
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:35,063
- I'm gonna take off actually.
- All right, well.

142
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:36,465
Cool.

143
00:06:38,443 --> 00:06:39,569
Still deciding ?

144
00:06:42,513 --> 00:06:43,604
Peach iced tea.

145
00:06:45,621 --> 00:06:46,964
You're gonna hate it.

146
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:49,768
Hey, Oscar, how you doing ?
Dwight Schrute calling.

147
00:06:49,979 --> 00:06:51,762
Listen, little question
for you, buddy.

148
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:54,976
I called six minutes ago,
and no one answered.

149
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,958
So I as wondering
if you could explain...

150
00:06:57,673 --> 00:06:59,714
Oh, I see. So,

151
00:07:00,231 --> 00:07:02,354
sounds like you're too sick
to come into work,

152
00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:04,688
but you're well enough
to go to the pharmacy.

153
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:07,538
There are several different ways
to tell if a perp is lying.

154
00:07:08,102 --> 00:07:10,714
The liar will avoid
direct eye contact.

155
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:15,629
The liar will cover part of his
or her face with his hand.

156
00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:17,165
Especially the mouth.

157
00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:19,396
The liar will perspire.

158
00:07:21,225 --> 00:07:23,243
Unfortunately, I spoke
to Oscar on the phone.

159
00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:24,909
So none of this is useful.

160
00:07:30,244 --> 00:07:33,024
It's grrrrrape soda.

161
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,886
Tony the Tiger, you don't hear
that much anymore.

162
00:07:35,957 --> 00:07:38,408
- Not so much.
- Okay, what is going on here ?

163
00:07:39,511 --> 00:07:41,502
- Nothing.
- Oh, really, nothing ?

164
00:07:42,346 --> 00:07:45,161
Fact, you are drinking grape soda.
You never drink grape soda.

165
00:07:45,244 --> 00:07:48,047
Fact, you are talking to Jim,
you never talk to Jim.

166
00:07:48,129 --> 00:07:50,661
Fact, I love grape soda.
I always have.

167
00:07:50,694 --> 00:07:52,712
Fact, Jim and I talk all the time.

168
00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:54,812
We tell each other secrets.

169
00:07:54,906 --> 00:07:56,513
Okay, so what is
the secret, Michael ?

170
00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:58,577
- Well, I...
- I had asked Michael

171
00:07:58,659 --> 00:08:00,536
if I could head up
the Oscar investigation,

172
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,519
and he said that only Dwight

173
00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:05,967
was capable of handling
such sensitive material.

174
00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:10,089
Is that true ?

175
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:18,288
I don't know.
Uh, yeah, yeah, it is.

176
00:08:19,227 --> 00:08:20,529
Thank you Michael.

177
00:08:21,279 --> 00:08:23,144
- I know you're telling the truth.
- Okay.

178
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,329
I can tell.

179
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,722
- I won't let you down.
- Good.

180
00:08:27,801 --> 00:08:28,834
Thanks.

181
00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:33,949
Nice, that was... that was slick.

182
00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:35,979
- What're you doing for lunch ?
- I don't know,

183
00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:38,278
I'm probably just gonna eat
my ham and cheese sandwich

184
00:08:38,313 --> 00:08:40,949
- in the break room.
- Nonsense. No way, no. Why don't...

185
00:08:41,184 --> 00:08:43,107
Why don't I take you
out to lunch ? My treat.

186
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:45,160
No, that's all right.
Thank you, though. It's...

187
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:47,800
I gotta do some cleaning.
I should probably stick around here.

188
00:08:47,823 --> 00:08:49,148
You know what we can do ?

189
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,856
Spread out a blanket
in the break room,

190
00:08:50,891 --> 00:08:52,627
have a little picnic,
order some 'za.

191
00:08:54,609 --> 00:08:56,123
Talk about you-know-who.

192
00:08:56,193 --> 00:08:57,747
- Nope.
- The P, to the A, to the...

193
00:08:57,887 --> 00:09:00,562
You know what, let's go out.
That was a good idea. Let's go out.

194
00:09:00,585 --> 00:09:01,606
I know just the place.

195
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,308
Oh, man. You should order milk.

196
00:09:08,434 --> 00:09:09,549
Get it ?

197
00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:12,470
Why do I like Hooters ?

198
00:09:13,273 --> 00:09:17,226
Well, I will give you two reasons.
The boobs and the hot wings.

199
00:09:19,806 --> 00:09:21,496
Oh, here we go, here we go.

200
00:09:21,554 --> 00:09:24,405
- Bogie at three o'clock. Hi.
- Hey, I'm Dana. Welcome to Hooters.

201
00:09:24,428 --> 00:09:27,713
We're not worthy.
We're not worthy.

202
00:09:27,912 --> 00:09:32,475
Hello, Dana.
I am Michael, and this is Jim.

203
00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,477
- And we are brothers.
- Nope.

204
00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:37,046
- We're not brothers.
- I'm his boss, actually.

205
00:09:37,093 --> 00:09:38,102
And I treat him well.

206
00:09:38,149 --> 00:09:40,350
I'm taking him out to lunch
because I can afford it.

207
00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:42,004
And he can have whatever he wants.

208
00:09:42,028 --> 00:09:44,296
I'll just have the ham and cheese
sandwich, thanks.

209
00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:45,406
And for you ?

210
00:09:45,429 --> 00:09:47,482
Tell me, Dana.
How is your chicken breast ?

211
00:09:47,658 --> 00:09:50,344
Oh, it's great. It's served with
our world-famous wing sauce.

212
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:51,901
Mm, sounds yummy.

213
00:09:51,936 --> 00:09:54,892
I will have a chicken breast.
Hold the chicken.

214
00:09:57,308 --> 00:09:58,764
Is that what you really want ?

215
00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:04,192
No, I'm gonna have
the gourmet hotdog.

216
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,318
Great.

217
00:10:10,857 --> 00:10:13,321
- Who took all the black ones ?
- That's a communal bowl.

218
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,866
So, how did Oscar sound
when he called in ?

219
00:10:16,297 --> 00:10:18,879
Sick. Like, lots of sniffling.
I don't know.

220
00:10:18,948 --> 00:10:20,168
Sniffling how ?

221
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,558
Hum, how many different ways
are there to sniffle ?

222
00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:24,696
Three.

223
00:10:25,576 --> 00:10:27,420
Okay, it was the second one.

224
00:10:27,449 --> 00:10:28,963
Okay, good. Thank you.

225
00:10:28,998 --> 00:10:30,499
That wasn't so hard, now was it ?

226
00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:37,902
What do you like best about Pam ?

227
00:10:38,981 --> 00:10:42,113
- I really don't wanna talk about it.
- Her legs or boobs, or... ?

228
00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,550
She's easy to talk to, I guess.

229
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:48,461
And, she's got a really good
sense of humor.

230
00:10:48,508 --> 00:10:49,540
Really ?

231
00:10:49,904 --> 00:10:51,710
Never gets any of my jokes.

232
00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:54,068
What about you ?

233
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:55,253
Her boobs, definitely.

234
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,927
That's not what I meant.

235
00:10:58,244 --> 00:10:59,687
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

236
00:10:59,722 --> 00:11:02,279
And I understand,
we have a birthday today !

237
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:05,740
- Oh, happy birthday, Jim.
- <i>Ready, girls ?</i>

238
00:11:05,869 --> 00:11:08,144
- Front side !
- "You put your front side in,"

239
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,862
"you put your front side out,
You put your front side in,"

240
00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:12,610
"And you shake it all about"

241
00:11:12,736 --> 00:11:15,420
"You do the hokey-pokey
and you turn yourself around,"

242
00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:17,367
"That's what it's all about !"

243
00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:18,622
Thank you.

244
00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:21,696
Thanks. Thanks Dana.

245
00:11:21,813 --> 00:11:23,185
Thank you very much.

246
00:11:27,028 --> 00:11:28,483
That was hilarious. Hey.

247
00:11:29,421 --> 00:11:30,829
What did you guys talk about ?

248
00:11:31,263 --> 00:11:33,292
Just, you know, politics.
Literature.

249
00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:36,142
I hate you.

250
00:11:37,843 --> 00:11:39,321
Quick Oscar update.

251
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:41,796
I have conducted interviews
with everyone in the office...

252
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:43,614
Just go to his house
and see if he's sick.

253
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,948
I could've done this investigation
in like, 20 minutes.

254
00:11:45,984 --> 00:11:47,743
- Including prep time ?
- Just do it.

255
00:11:53,514 --> 00:11:56,705
If I had to, I could clean out
my desk in 5 seconds...

256
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,561
and nobody would ever know
I had ever been here.

257
00:12:00,816 --> 00:12:02,142
And I'd forget too.

258
00:12:13,881 --> 00:12:15,042
Expense this.

259
00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:17,013
Michael, is that a wig ?

260
00:12:18,022 --> 00:12:19,976
No, it's...

261
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:22,311
I wear it like that sometimes.

262
00:12:22,346 --> 00:12:24,516
- Is that a wig ?
- No.

263
00:12:24,563 --> 00:12:25,724
This is from Hooters.

264
00:12:25,818 --> 00:12:27,390
Yeah, it's a business lunch.

265
00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:29,313
- Did Toby approve this ?
- No, he did not.

266
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,095
I don't need his permission.

267
00:12:31,646 --> 00:12:33,547
You just got your corporate
credit card back.

268
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,470
Do you really want me
to take it away again ?

269
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:38,462
It's ridiculous.
They took my card away because

270
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,676
I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop.

271
00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:43,877
What they don't understand
is that I bought the stuff

272
00:12:44,276 --> 00:12:45,813
to impress potential clients.

273
00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:48,300
So business-related, right ?

274
00:12:48,429 --> 00:12:51,472
I put a cigarette through
a freakin' quarter.

275
00:12:51,741 --> 00:12:54,369
And you know what, Toby ?
They almost bought from us.

276
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:58,920
- I'm not processing this.
- Look, Jim needed a relaxing lunch.

277
00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:00,187
He has been depressed.

278
00:13:00,224 --> 00:13:02,218
And it has been affecting
his productivity.

279
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,860
How is that not work-related ?

280
00:13:03,895 --> 00:13:05,009
He seems fine to me.

281
00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:06,839
You're not his friend.
You don't know.

282
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,778
He is in love with a girl
he works with who's engaged.

283
00:13:09,825 --> 00:13:12,054
So just cut me some slack, please.

284
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:13,356
Pam ?

285
00:13:18,854 --> 00:13:20,029
Oh, crap.

286
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:24,165
Angela, who would you choose ?
Jim or Roy ?

287
00:13:24,189 --> 00:13:25,737
It's nobody's business, Phyllis.

288
00:13:27,684 --> 00:13:28,726
Roy.

289
00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:32,430
Jim has got it bad for Pam.

290
00:13:33,802 --> 00:13:34,987
Which one is Pam ?

291
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:38,072
Well, she...
Hey, Michael ?

292
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,199
So do you think Jim will try
to break up the wedding ?

293
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,650
You know what, Kevin ?
Jim is a friend of mine.

294
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:47,697
So the only people that this crush
really concerns is Jim and Pam..

295
00:13:48,038 --> 00:13:49,269
and me.

296
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,667
As a volunteer sheriff's deputy,

297
00:13:52,727 --> 00:13:54,533
I've been doing surveillance
for years.

298
00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,058
One time,

299
00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:59,712
I suspected an ex-girlfriend
of mine of cheating on me.

300
00:13:59,748 --> 00:14:01,683
So I tailed her for
six nights straight.

301
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:03,489
Turns out, she was.

302
00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:06,399
With a couple of guys,
actually, so.

303
00:14:09,744 --> 00:14:10,882
Mystery solved.

304
00:14:11,386 --> 00:14:15,327
Jim, why didn't you tell me
that you had a crush on Pam ?

305
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:18,858
Well, the cat's out of the bag.

306
00:14:18,893 --> 00:14:20,828
I used to have a crush on Pam.

307
00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:23,362
And now I... don't.

308
00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,248
Riveting.

309
00:14:28,637 --> 00:14:29,857
Yeah.

310
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,334
No, it's not.

311
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:32,511
Nice.

312
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,073
She is so hot.

313
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:42,499
- Hey.
- Hey.

314
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,928
Did you find anything good
in your desk ?

315
00:14:45,772 --> 00:14:47,285
Coupon for a free sandwich.

316
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:49,227
- Score.
- Expired in August. 

317
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,819
And my cell phone charger
from two years ago.

318
00:14:51,855 --> 00:14:53,286
- Big day.
- Big day.

319
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,300
Hey, uh, listen.

320
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:05,212
I, told Michael
on the booze cruise...

321
00:15:06,045 --> 00:15:07,277
It was so stupid.

322
00:15:10,397 --> 00:15:15,251
I told Michael, that I had had
a crush on you...

323
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,961
when you first started here.

324
00:15:19,427 --> 00:15:21,304
Well, I just thought that...

325
00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:24,103
I figured you should hear it
from me.

326
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,729
Rather than, I mean,
you know Michael.

327
00:15:28,925 --> 00:15:30,227
Right.

328
00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:31,995
And...

329
00:15:32,311 --> 00:15:33,696
seriously. It's...

330
00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:35,584
totally not a big deal.

331
00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:36,734
Okay ?

332
00:15:38,376 --> 00:15:41,308
And when I found out that
you were engaged, I mean...

333
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:43,848
No, I know. Like, I kind of...

334
00:15:44,739 --> 00:15:45,839
Like, I...

335
00:15:46,132 --> 00:15:47,575
I thought that maybe you did.

336
00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,909
- When I first started.
- Oh, you did ?

337
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,279
No, I mean, just 'cause we,
like, got along so well.

338
00:15:52,314 --> 00:15:54,367
No, I know, yeah.
You saw through me. Great.

339
00:15:57,159 --> 00:15:59,611
So are you gonna be, like,
totally awkward around me now ?

340
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:01,370
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

341
00:16:02,813 --> 00:16:04,009
Hope that's okay.

342
00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:09,220
And Pam.

343
00:16:10,018 --> 00:16:11,754
It was like, three years ago.

344
00:16:12,258 --> 00:16:14,956
So, I am totally over it.

345
00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:17,830
Cool.

346
00:16:18,205 --> 00:16:19,230
Okay.

347
00:16:27,726 --> 00:16:28,790
Stay low.

348
00:16:32,661 --> 00:16:34,491
This is it. There he is.

349
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,611
He's been gone for at least two...
Who is that ?

350
00:16:38,725 --> 00:16:39,769
Come to Papa.

351
00:16:43,441 --> 00:16:45,071
Oh, yes.

352
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,898
Let's roll.

353
00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:49,900
I knew it !

354
00:16:54,439 --> 00:16:57,313
Oh, man, you are so busted.

355
00:16:57,571 --> 00:17:00,117
Ice skates. Shopping bags.

356
00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:02,404
I think I know what's going on here.

357
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:04,920
You weren't sick at all.

358
00:17:05,071 --> 00:17:06,174
Who's this ?

359
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,715
This is Dwight Schrute.
Who is this ?

360
00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:10,771
Gil.

361
00:17:11,341 --> 00:17:13,079
Are you going to tell Michael ?

362
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,607
How 'bout this ?

363
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:15,878
I don't tell Michael,

364
00:17:15,986 --> 00:17:18,839
and in exchange,
you owe me one great, big,

365
00:17:18,923 --> 00:17:24,461
giant favor redeemable by me
at a time and place of my choosing.

366
00:17:24,937 --> 00:17:26,987
Guess what I found out
about Oscar tonight ?

367
00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:30,979
He was lying about being sick.

368
00:17:31,674 --> 00:17:34,419
Should I have reported
Oscar's malfeasance ?

369
00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:36,603
Probably.

370
00:17:36,651 --> 00:17:38,881
But now I know something
he doesn't want me to know.

371
00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:41,218
So I can use his malfeasance...

372
00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:42,681
to establish leverage.

373
00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:47,891
Otherwise, it's just malfeasance,
for malfeasance's...s sake.

374
00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:52,962
- Hey.
- I know.

375
00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,348
I know. I know.

376
00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:01,248
- What happened ?
- I... oh. Just, you know,

377
00:18:02,555 --> 00:18:04,940
I was trying...
just the expense reports.

378
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,901
And then...  God, Toby,
you know ? He just...

379
00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:10,067
I know. I just...

380
00:18:11,086 --> 00:18:12,345
I just hope that...

381
00:18:13,016 --> 00:18:15,354
I just hope that this doesn't
affect our friendship !

382
00:18:18,673 --> 00:18:21,406
It's stupid. This is so stupid.

383
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,506
Listen, man, it's...

384
00:18:26,261 --> 00:18:28,693
You know, it's not a big deal.
It's gonna be fine.

385
00:18:28,753 --> 00:18:30,180
No, I know. I'm good, I'm good.

386
00:18:30,396 --> 00:18:31,127
It's just...

387
00:18:32,266 --> 00:18:33,285
Look,

388
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,126
it's one day.
Everything's gonna be all right.

389
00:18:36,197 --> 00:18:37,323
- Yeah, okay.
- You good ?

390
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:38,582
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Okay.

391
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,700
Creed, did you organize
the menu book ?

392
00:18:42,861 --> 00:18:45,582
I thought that was more
on a volunteer basis.

393
00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:48,627
No, that was mandatory.

394
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,737
I thought it was a volunteer thing.

395
00:18:55,897 --> 00:18:58,631
Hey, here's your schedule for next week.

396
00:19:00,453 --> 00:19:01,903
- Are you okay ?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

397
00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:03,175
Look.

398
00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,645
- About you and Jim, I...
- Oh, no, that's...

399
00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:06,904
- You don't have to...
- No,

400
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:10,182
I just feel it's my responsibility
as your boss-slash-friend...

401
00:19:10,326 --> 00:19:11,717
No, it's really... it's okay.

402
00:19:12,302 --> 00:19:15,311
I know that Jim had, like,
a crush on me when he first started.

403
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,194
But that was a long time ago, so...

404
00:19:18,356 --> 00:19:20,934
It wasn't that long ago.
It was on the booze cruise.

405
00:19:22,804 --> 00:19:24,566
Jim had a crush on me
on the booze cruise,

406
00:19:24,602 --> 00:19:26,808
or he told you about it
on the booze cruise.

407
00:19:28,738 --> 00:19:32,802
Okay. Shut it, Michael. I'm done.

408
00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:35,142
That's it, I'm out.

409
00:19:39,494 --> 00:19:41,004
- Ready ?
- Yup.

410
00:19:47,989 --> 00:19:49,739
People are always coming to me.

411
00:19:49,775 --> 00:19:51,250
Michael, I have a secret.

412
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:52,796
You're the only one I trust.

413
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:54,845
No thanks,

414
00:19:54,905 --> 00:19:56,967
because keeping a secret

415
00:19:57,686 --> 00:19:59,352
can only lead to trouble.

416
00:19:59,592 --> 00:20:02,901
Like, I was watching Cinemax
last weekend, this movie.

417
00:20:04,699 --> 00:20:06,161
"Portrait of a...

418
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,379
Prostitute."

419
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,710
Something...

420
00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:12,096
Secrets of a call...
More "Secrets of a Call Girl."

421
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,966
And the lead character, Shila,

422
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:15,860
is framed for murder.

423
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,663
Goes on the run,

424
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:20,212
and winds up working
at a bordello in Malibu.

425
00:20:22,261 --> 00:20:24,467
I don't... 
I don't wanna live like that.

426
00:20:25,211 --> 00:20:26,397
I like it here.

427
00:20:27,069 --> 00:20:30,222
I don't wanna be Shila.
I like being Michael Scott.