1 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:05,762 What ? 2 00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:07,056 Oh, nothing. 3 00:00:09,045 --> 00:00:10,622 Pam's on vacation. 4 00:00:10,818 --> 00:00:11,929 And she gets back tomorrow. 5 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,241 So, it'll be nice to see her. 6 00:00:14,004 --> 00:00:15,585 It'll be nice. And... 7 00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,603 She set a date for the wedding with Roy. 8 00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:20,007 June, summer. 9 00:00:20,269 --> 00:00:21,618 So, that'll be nice. 10 00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:24,439 And that's that. 11 00:00:27,367 --> 00:00:28,663 What ? 12 00:00:29,207 --> 00:00:31,212 Oh, nothing. 13 00:00:32,702 --> 00:00:36,686 Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. 14 00:00:37,824 --> 00:00:39,439 I would be creeped out by it. 15 00:00:39,544 --> 00:00:42,686 But it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. 16 00:01:18,294 --> 00:01:20,098 Saison 2 - Episode 13 The Carpet 17 00:01:20,153 --> 00:01:23,434 Transcript par Nikki (twiztv.com) Sous-titres par la Catch-22 Team 18 00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:25,491 pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus www.forom.com 19 00:01:27,284 --> 00:01:29,214 Spamster. 20 00:01:31,465 --> 00:01:33,574 Pam, plus Spam, plus... 21 00:01:33,748 --> 00:01:35,108 - Hamster. - Right. 22 00:01:35,139 --> 00:01:36,729 Welcome back. How was your vacation ? 23 00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:38,875 - It was great. - Yeah ? Did you get lucky ? 24 00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:41,519 Oop ! Boink. 25 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,024 Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. 26 00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:46,548 I get ten vacation days a year. 27 00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:50,150 And I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. 28 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,849 And this year I got to the third week in January. 29 00:01:55,210 --> 00:01:57,660 I am Pam. Spicoli guy. 30 00:01:58,513 --> 00:02:00,163 Oh, God. 31 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,478 He needs numbers. Okay. 32 00:02:02,552 --> 00:02:05,447 Whoa ! God ! Yuck ! Yuck, yuck, yuck. 33 00:02:05,577 --> 00:02:08,150 - What ? - Yuck ! Wow ! What happened in there ? 34 00:02:08,181 --> 00:02:11,348 - I don't know. - There is stink in there. My God ! 35 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,712 - What is- what is that ? - Oh, I don't know. 36 00:02:14,811 --> 00:02:17,235 - Is that a bird ? - No, I don't think it's a bird. 37 00:02:17,483 --> 00:02:20,967 Oh, God, how could that happen ? How could... 38 00:02:21,398 --> 00:02:23,854 - Right in the middle of the carpet. - What's going on ? 39 00:02:24,051 --> 00:02:27,090 Somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office. 40 00:02:27,325 --> 00:02:30,096 - I don't think that's vomit. - Check it out. 41 00:02:30,211 --> 00:02:32,784 - Me ? - Check it out. 42 00:02:34,541 --> 00:02:37,393 Don't be a wuss. Just get, no, I'm not holding your coffee. 43 00:02:37,665 --> 00:02:39,758 - Tell me what it is. - Oh, that's a real bitch. 44 00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:41,247 What is it ? 45 00:02:42,119 --> 00:02:43,430 - Michael. - What is it ? 46 00:02:43,509 --> 00:02:44,875 No, just tell me what it is. 47 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,703 Michael, I gotta get outta here ! I can't hold my breath that long. 48 00:02:48,728 --> 00:02:50,534 Open the door up. 49 00:02:50,633 --> 00:02:52,810 It smelled terrible. 50 00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:59,345 Oh ! Phew ! 51 00:02:59,381 --> 00:03:00,462 Oh, no ! 52 00:03:02,802 --> 00:03:04,849 I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that there. 53 00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:07,275 - That's no burst pipe. - Well, how do you know that ? 54 00:03:07,316 --> 00:03:10,132 - What is it then ? - Hey guys ! Somebody making soup ? 55 00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:17,365 Here she comes. All clean ? Great. 56 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,602 - Too stinky. - That is worse. 57 00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:26,020 She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. 58 00:03:26,677 --> 00:03:28,014 Total permeation. 59 00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:30,047 I am a big Fear Factor fan. 60 00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:33,648 I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. 61 00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:36,307 So, this is sort of like my audition tape. 62 00:03:41,648 --> 00:03:42,590 I can't stand it. 63 00:03:43,132 --> 00:03:45,095 I can't stand it in here another second. 64 00:03:48,988 --> 00:03:50,799 Hey, welcome back. 65 00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:51,816 Thanks. 66 00:03:51,895 --> 00:03:54,365 So, how was the resort ? Did you ski a lot ? 67 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:56,269 A little. 68 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:57,779 Good. 69 00:03:59,219 --> 00:04:00,575 What's going on here ? 70 00:04:02,861 --> 00:04:03,900 What ? 71 00:04:04,232 --> 00:04:05,537 I did not do that. 72 00:04:06,415 --> 00:04:07,715 That sounds disgusting. 73 00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:10,660 It wasn't me. 74 00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:14,340 It wasn't me. 75 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,218 It was not me. 76 00:04:26,652 --> 00:04:27,321 Hey, Jim ! 77 00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:30,511 I thought that we would be desk buddies while they change my carpet. 78 00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,490 That might be a little difficult with the one computer. 79 00:04:36,183 --> 00:04:38,215 But there's definitely a desk open in the back. 80 00:04:38,282 --> 00:04:39,311 Yeah.. 81 00:04:41,437 --> 00:04:44,406 - Which I guess I'll be taking. - No, seriously. I don't mind sharing. 82 00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:46,850 No, no, no. Seriously. I'll be in the back. 83 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,515 Hey, Kelly. 84 00:04:54,356 --> 00:04:55,726 Are you moving back here ? 85 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,481 Just for the day while Michael's at my desk. 86 00:04:58,687 --> 00:05:00,571 Because Toby used to sit there. 87 00:05:00,654 --> 00:05:03,145 But then he had to move over there because of an allergy. 88 00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:07,157 Allergy to...the desk ? 89 00:05:07,702 --> 00:05:08,998 Weird. 90 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:14,056 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ol' bullpen. 91 00:05:14,358 --> 00:05:16,713 - The ol' bullpen. - Don't hate me. 92 00:05:17,444 --> 00:05:19,515 - Okay. - This is great. 93 00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,178 Yeah. 94 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,296 The pressures of my office are insane. 95 00:05:23,479 --> 00:05:24,844 I just- you couldn't understand. 96 00:05:24,988 --> 00:05:26,967 But you guys have it easy out here. 97 00:05:27,066 --> 00:05:29,303 You know, I used to sit right here ? 98 00:05:29,378 --> 00:05:31,159 - No way. - Yeah 99 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,905 And who had your office ? 100 00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:35,749 Ed Truck. 101 00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:39,188 Ed Truck was the manager before me. 102 00:05:39,411 --> 00:05:40,870 Horrible. He hated fun. 103 00:05:41,018 --> 00:05:44,043 It was like, Ed Truck is walking toward us. Stop having fun. 104 00:05:44,355 --> 00:05:46,607 Start pretending to do work. 105 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,502 What a jerk. He's...You know what ? 106 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,684 I swore to myself, that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, 107 00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:55,935 people would laugh when they saw me coming. 108 00:05:56,059 --> 00:05:58,806 And would applaud as I walked away. 109 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,119 I'm serious, my closet doors will not shut. 110 00:06:02,422 --> 00:06:05,738 I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up. 111 00:06:05,764 --> 00:06:07,960 Cause aren't all hangers like, that big ? 112 00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:10,882 So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that. 113 00:06:10,883 --> 00:06:12,429 So now I'm doing this new thing, 114 00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:14,540 where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor. 115 00:06:14,648 --> 00:06:16,821 And I walk around the piles to get an outfit... 116 00:06:17,316 --> 00:06:18,934 You know who used to sit at that desk ? 117 00:06:19,002 --> 00:06:21,346 That guy Miles who quit to form his own company ? 118 00:06:22,144 --> 00:06:23,234 Todd Packer. 119 00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:24,048 - No. - Yeah. 120 00:06:24,124 --> 00:06:27,667 - I thought he was out on the road. - He was, but... 121 00:06:27,797 --> 00:06:31,543 That desk was empty. He'd come in and sit there sometimes. 122 00:06:33,988 --> 00:06:37,359 When I was in training, many years ago. Not so long ago. 123 00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:41,295 I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer. 124 00:06:42,076 --> 00:06:45,323 And together we rocked the office. 125 00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:51,369 Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off. 126 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,625 And when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy. 127 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,780 I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. 128 00:06:57,942 --> 00:06:59,520 Excuse me one second please. 129 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:02,062 What is it that you need right now that can't wait, 130 00:07:02,063 --> 00:07:04,414 until I'm off the phone with a customer ? 131 00:07:04,599 --> 00:07:07,136 A customer. Well, sound the alarm. 132 00:07:08,659 --> 00:07:09,401 Okay. 133 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:13,027 Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like a minute. 134 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:16,197 Guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired. 135 00:07:17,565 --> 00:07:19,854 - What did you hit me for ? - Oh, Charlie Horse. 136 00:07:19,985 --> 00:07:21,377 - What ? - Charlie Horse ! 137 00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:23,503 - You shouldn't have hit me, Michael. - Okay ! 138 00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:27,972 Once, as a joke Packer banged every chick in the office. 139 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,423 It was hysterical. 140 00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:36,029 Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, 141 00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:38,202 Basically anything that is awesome. 142 00:07:38,356 --> 00:07:40,119 - Sno-cones... - Hey, Jim. 143 00:07:40,185 --> 00:07:43,556 Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair. 144 00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:47,453 - It's the lever on the side. - That's what I told him. Thanks. 145 00:07:52,378 --> 00:07:55,657 Oh, my God. He is so cute. 146 00:07:56,252 --> 00:07:59,407 Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me ? 147 00:08:00,319 --> 00:08:03,621 - No, I don't think I can. - Please Jim. Please, please, Jim 148 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,876 Please, please ? He's so cute. I like him so much. 149 00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:09,914 And I would do it, but I'm too shy. Please, Jim ? Please, please. 150 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:13,603 Please ? Please, Jim, please ? Please, please ? 151 00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,301 - Dwight. - Michael. 152 00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:20,817 - Let's set up accounting. - What ? 153 00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:24,443 Old-fashioned raid. Sales on accounting. 154 00:08:24,575 --> 00:08:27,389 Follow my lead. 155 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,992 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Michael. 156 00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:32,755 - What's up ? - Hey, Dwight. 157 00:08:42,169 --> 00:08:44,347 Come on, come on ! 158 00:08:46,431 --> 00:08:48,312 - Sales rule ! - Yes ! 159 00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:50,223 Yeah, yeah ! 160 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,729 Should we help them pick up their stuff ? 161 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,916 No, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't do that. 162 00:08:56,943 --> 00:08:58,772 Watch out Pam. You're next. 163 00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:01,024 You're gonna throw my things on the ground ? 164 00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:02,056 Maybe. 165 00:09:02,699 --> 00:09:05,099 What happened in Michael's office is wrong. 166 00:09:05,149 --> 00:09:07,178 I understand it. It makes sense. 167 00:09:10,685 --> 00:09:13,060 But it's, but it was still wrong. 168 00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:16,029 Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet ? 169 00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:19,549 I don't know. 170 00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:24,782 Could have been done out of hate. Could be done out of love. 171 00:09:25,283 --> 00:09:27,757 It could be completely neutral. 172 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,990 Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. 173 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,965 Well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously. 174 00:09:33,046 --> 00:09:37,673 because my office still reeks like you would not believe. 175 00:09:38,372 --> 00:09:40,920 I hate her. 176 00:09:43,264 --> 00:09:45,244 You know what ? I am beginning to think, 177 00:09:45,466 --> 00:09:50,684 that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. 178 00:09:51,545 --> 00:09:53,240 The only thing that makes sense. 179 00:09:53,495 --> 00:09:55,351 Hello, am I the 107th caller ? 180 00:09:58,778 --> 00:10:01,277 Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller ? 181 00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:07,326 Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller ? 182 00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:10,816 I'm totally going to win us that box set. 183 00:10:10,857 --> 00:10:12,658 Stop. Stop it. 184 00:10:15,423 --> 00:10:17,402 Stop it. 185 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,848 Don't. 186 00:10:21,565 --> 00:10:22,728 Don't. 187 00:10:23,273 --> 00:10:24,807 I need to make a sales call. 188 00:10:27,238 --> 00:10:28,920 - Please. - All right. 189 00:10:39,553 --> 00:10:41,038 Am I the 107th caller ? 190 00:10:41,693 --> 00:10:43,549 That is so soon. 191 00:10:43,747 --> 00:10:46,369 We'll go back. We'll go back in a couple weeks, baby. 192 00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:49,399 - Yeah, right. - Okay, maybe another month then. 193 00:10:49,528 --> 00:10:51,522 Maybe for, like, Presidents' Day or something. 194 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,756 Yeah, that's right. We can do a three day weekend. 195 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:58,444 And maybe when we get back, I can call in sick, and get a four day weekend. 196 00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:01,709 And when I wake up, I feel fine. It's so weird. 197 00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:04,567 And I just hate it. 'Cause I try to go to bed at, like, 198 00:11:04,642 --> 00:11:06,371 - Are you kidding? - ...9:30 every night. 199 00:11:06,412 --> 00:11:07,423 Hi, guys. 200 00:11:07,464 --> 00:11:10,266 We haven't finished getting things in order from your last visit. 201 00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:11,956 - I'm just walking around. - Were you ? 202 00:11:11,997 --> 00:11:13,021 Well, yeah. 203 00:11:13,077 --> 00:11:15,359 It's just that we're really swamped over here Michael. 204 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,132 I'm not ? Why would you say that ? Because I'm having fun ? 205 00:11:18,157 --> 00:11:21,299 You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you ? 206 00:11:21,423 --> 00:11:23,706 I'm working for the week. Sales team. 207 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,879 Listen to me. This is what we're gonna do. 208 00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:30,077 I'm gonna up the ante a little bit literally. 209 00:11:30,281 --> 00:11:32,780 Right here, I'm going to put a crisp $100 bill. 210 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,962 The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. 211 00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:37,388 - Sound good ? - Yeah ! 212 00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:39,745 70, 80, 1, 2, 3. 213 00:11:40,122 --> 00:11:42,720 $83. Still a lot of money. 214 00:11:42,949 --> 00:11:47,229 And I'm going to... I'm going to leave it right over here. 215 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,833 Where everybody can see it. 216 00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:54,825 I will be taking Jim's clients today, because he is not here. 217 00:11:54,998 --> 00:11:57,401 And out of sight, out of the contest. 218 00:11:57,647 --> 00:11:59,706 Let's see who winds up with the cash, shall we ? 219 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:03,126 - You're going to compete against us ? - Oh, it is on, Phyllis ! It is so on ! 220 00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:05,780 - It is so on ! - God, this is gonna be fun. 221 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:10,165 Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us. 222 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,122 So you have 40 boxes going out. 223 00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:24,355 And I will deliver those personally in the Sebring. 224 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,324 Very good. Nice doing business with you. Thank you. 225 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:29,302 Yes !! 226 00:12:30,893 --> 00:12:33,398 Yeah. Read it and weep. 227 00:12:34,147 --> 00:12:36,299 Look at that. Look at me Phyllis. 228 00:12:36,429 --> 00:12:38,409 Oh, what is that ? That's my sale. 229 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:48,579 - What what's that ? What you doing ? - Nothing. 230 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,241 - I think he's dancing. - No, just... 231 00:12:50,499 --> 00:12:52,917 - That was definitely not dancing. - You know what, guys ? 232 00:12:52,958 --> 00:12:55,596 It's none of your concern. It was official business. So just... 233 00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:58,071 - Paper business ? - Yeah, paper business. Is this done ? 234 00:12:58,126 --> 00:12:58,932 Nope. 235 00:12:58,982 --> 00:13:01,802 Extreme Home Makeover puts together a house in an hour. 236 00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:04,481 If you were on that crew, you'd be fired like that. 237 00:13:05,081 --> 00:13:07,604 Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. 238 00:13:09,318 --> 00:13:11,204 Maybe that's all we need to know. 239 00:13:17,848 --> 00:13:19,883 - Who do you think did it ? - Are you kidding ? 240 00:13:19,957 --> 00:13:22,530 - I thought it was you. - Really ? I thought you. 241 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,328 This was no act of God. 242 00:13:32,409 --> 00:13:35,254 A person did this. A person who works in this office. 243 00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:37,462 Maybe all of them. 244 00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:39,522 You know what ? 245 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,407 Today is not a good day for a sales contest. 246 00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:46,654 - We're-we're not doing this today. - That doesn't seem fair. 247 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:50,198 You want to talk about fair ? Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? 248 00:13:50,971 --> 00:13:54,412 You explain to me how that was fair. And I'll explain to you how this is fair. 249 00:13:54,473 --> 00:13:58,110 Plus, I just, I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage. 250 00:13:58,190 --> 00:14:01,926 - But you're the one who picked today. - I am a victim of a hate crime. 251 00:14:03,095 --> 00:14:04,660 Stanley knows what I'm talking about. 252 00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:08,897 - That's not what a hate crime is. - Well, I hated it, a lot, okay ? 253 00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:10,883 I, you know what ? 254 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,680 If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment... 255 00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,882 We'd be done. 256 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,228 Very well. Then you're all punished. 257 00:14:23,432 --> 00:14:25,560 - What's our punishment ? - You're all on time out. 258 00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:28,996 Just sit there quietly. 259 00:14:40,742 --> 00:14:41,754 Hey. 260 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,373 - What's up ? - Nothing much. 261 00:14:44,265 --> 00:14:45,637 Let me ask you something. 262 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,649 It's actually a little awkward. 263 00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:50,678 What do you think of Kelly ? 264 00:14:50,785 --> 00:14:52,785 I don't know. 265 00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:55,224 Depends if you like a little junk in... 266 00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:58,735 She's really cool. 267 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,139 - Are you interested in her ? - Yeah, totally. 268 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,124 - Really ? - Did she say something ? 269 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,905 She said lots of things. 270 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,923 Do you know if she's looking for a long-term thing ? 271 00:15:07,962 --> 00:15:10,733 Or if she'd be cool just, hanging out ? 272 00:15:12,075 --> 00:15:14,094 - I have no idea. - Can you find out ? 273 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:17,040 Yeah. 274 00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:19,007 Sure. 275 00:15:21,010 --> 00:15:22,451 Long-term, definitely. 276 00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:26,018 Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. 277 00:15:26,322 --> 00:15:27,600 But don't tell him that, okay ? 278 00:15:27,646 --> 00:15:29,647 Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. 279 00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:31,424 I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows. 280 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,290 Do you remember Ed Truck ? 281 00:15:33,698 --> 00:15:35,687 Sure, he hired me. How's he doing ? 282 00:15:36,656 --> 00:15:38,012 How would I know ? 283 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,218 I thought you might. 284 00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:41,514 My biggest fear is turning into him. 285 00:15:42,062 --> 00:15:44,416 Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. 286 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,772 I wasn't talking literally, Creed. 287 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,030 Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. 288 00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:50,768 Happy ? Why am I talking to you ? 289 00:15:51,712 --> 00:15:52,320 Ed ! 290 00:15:52,726 --> 00:15:54,043 Hi, thanks for meeting me. 291 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,676 Must be kind of neat coming back. 292 00:15:58,046 --> 00:15:59,541 Yeah. Shall we go upstairs ? 293 00:16:00,016 --> 00:16:03,065 Well, honestly, Ed, I really don't want to be up there right now. 294 00:16:03,782 --> 00:16:05,989 So, what's the problem with my pension ? 295 00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:07,895 No, no, no. You're good. 296 00:16:07,946 --> 00:16:09,416 It was clerical. You're good. 297 00:16:10,398 --> 00:16:12,627 Well, somebody did something in my office. 298 00:16:12,783 --> 00:16:15,817 And I now think that they did it on purpose and it was directed at me. 299 00:16:15,905 --> 00:16:17,121 But what was done ? 300 00:16:17,318 --> 00:16:19,978 I didn't get a good look at it. 301 00:16:20,057 --> 00:16:22,531 But it smells horrible. 302 00:16:23,294 --> 00:16:26,084 Yeah, somebody once did that in my office. 303 00:16:26,974 --> 00:16:27,871 - Really. - Yeah. 304 00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:28,773 Well, that figures. 305 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,631 So how did you deal with people not liking you ? 306 00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:35,181 You can't expect to be friends with everybody. 307 00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:37,609 - Sure I can. - No. 308 00:16:37,755 --> 00:16:39,676 They'll always think of you as a boss first. 309 00:16:39,744 --> 00:16:41,520 Not necessarily. 310 00:16:41,723 --> 00:16:43,779 You can love a boss like you do a father. 311 00:16:44,093 --> 00:16:45,533 I'm not sure that ever happens. 312 00:16:45,632 --> 00:16:48,838 Well, ok, different management styles. 313 00:16:48,898 --> 00:16:51,097 Why can't your workers be your workers ? 314 00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:53,969 Family be your family, your friends be your friends ? 315 00:16:54,794 --> 00:16:57,815 Last week, I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. 316 00:16:58,421 --> 00:17:01,689 I would have reached right into my stomach and pulled it our for them. 317 00:17:01,794 --> 00:17:03,354 But now, no. 318 00:17:03,409 --> 00:17:06,430 I don't have a relationship with these people that I thought I did. 319 00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,739 I hope they ask. 320 00:17:08,813 --> 00:17:12,181 So they can hear me say : "no." 321 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,158 I only give my organs to my real friends. 322 00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:17,303 Get yourself a monkey kidney. 323 00:17:18,179 --> 00:17:21,932 Hey, Brenda, this is, Jim Halpert from the boat. 324 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:25,389 And I got your number from the corporate directory. 325 00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:28,884 And, well, I'm assuming that you probably gave it to them, 326 00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:32,516 because you wanted me to ask you out, right ? 327 00:17:33,076 --> 00:17:35,204 So give me a call back. 328 00:17:35,432 --> 00:17:37,431 You can get my number from said directory, 329 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:42,565 Or just check your email cause I just sent you one. 330 00:17:44,162 --> 00:17:47,795 Yikes. Give me a call back, I hope. 331 00:17:47,986 --> 00:17:51,431 I'll talk to you later. Bye. 332 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,558 You just asked a girl out on the phone ! 333 00:17:57,854 --> 00:17:58,652 Yup. 334 00:18:01,488 --> 00:18:02,500 Yes. 335 00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:06,468 Hello. Yes. I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. 336 00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,826 Who is this ? How did you get this number ? 337 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,976 Your mom, you gay nerd. 338 00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:15,800 Oh my God. Packer. Packster ! Wacky Pack. How you doing ? 339 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:19,272 Hey, listen, did you get that package I left for you ? 340 00:18:20,331 --> 00:18:23,610 No. Did anybody see a package here today ? 341 00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:26,772 - No, how big was it ? - It was pretty big. 342 00:18:26,996 --> 00:18:28,264 - Really ? - Yeah. 343 00:18:28,326 --> 00:18:31,048 Did you see a big package ? Where did you leave it ? 344 00:18:31,055 --> 00:18:33,842 - Left it in the middle of your office. - Realy ? 345 00:18:34,015 --> 00:18:36,603 Guys, did you see a big package in my office ? 346 00:18:38,068 --> 00:18:40,493 You mean the thing ? 347 00:18:43,496 --> 00:18:45,231 Are you kidding me ? 348 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,621 - Special delivery. - That was Packer ! 349 00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:53,508 You are dead, you are dead, my friend. 350 00:18:53,608 --> 00:18:57,954 That is hila- Oh God ! Of course it was you. 351 00:18:58,284 --> 00:19:02,781 - Sit on the throne, Michael. - Yeah, yeah ! 352 00:19:02,848 --> 00:19:05,954 Oh my God. It was Packer. 353 00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:07,582 It takes an advanced sense of humor. 354 00:19:07,638 --> 00:19:09,424 I don't expect everybody to understand. 355 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,212 It was done out of love, just like I thought. 356 00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:16,110 It's, God, these people are so, these are good people. 357 00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:20,644 We have fun. We just have fun. 358 00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:23,463 I'm just so sorry that I threw the thing out. 359 00:19:34,461 --> 00:19:38,968 - You have 7 unheard messages. - Hey, Jim, It's Pam. 360 00:19:39,459 --> 00:19:41,283 I keep looking up to say something to you, 361 00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:43,385 and then Michael's there. And it's horrible. 362 00:19:43,526 --> 00:19:46,321 Anyway, I'm bored. Come back. 363 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:50,054 Hey, guess what. I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. 364 00:19:50,243 --> 00:19:52,073 It's working. I think I can have a career, 365 00:19:52,114 --> 00:19:54,372 as a very specific type of decorator. 366 00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:58,706 Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. Suck on that Halpert. 367 00:20:00,221 --> 00:20:02,079 I'll transfer you. 368 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:04,736 Dunder Mifflin this is Pam. Hold, please. 369 00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:07,518 Dunder Mifflin, this is. Okay, sorry. 370 00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:09,936 Michael was standing at my desk and I needed to be busy. 371 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:12,089 Or who knows what would've happened. So thank you. 372 00:20:12,369 --> 00:20:15,544 What's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe ? 373 00:20:15,906 --> 00:20:19,057 Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe. 374 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,969 I have a chance to sneak out of here early, 375 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,776 And I'm not messing this up so I'll see you tomorrow. 376 00:20:23,877 --> 00:20:25,546 Calling from my cell phone. 377 00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:28,688 I don't know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael's carpet yet. 378 00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:31,900 But I have a theory that it involves an interdepartmental conspiracy. 379 00:20:32,109 --> 00:20:34,736 Everybody in the office. We need to talk.