1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,767
I am actually looking forward to
take your daughter to work day.

2
00:00:03,785 --> 00:00:05,018
I am not great with kids.

3
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,520
But I want to get better.

4
00:00:06,754 --> 00:00:08,091
Because I'm getting married.

5
00:00:08,861 --> 00:00:10,809
So I put out a bunch of
extra candy on my desk.

6
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,273
So the kids will come talk to me.

7
00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:16,388
Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

8
00:00:17,866 --> 00:00:19,009
Bribery. Nice.

9
00:00:19,473 --> 00:00:20,921
I have more.

10
00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:22,107
It's Pam.

11
00:00:22,209 --> 00:00:23,933
Ms. Beesly if your nasty.

12
00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:25,153
- Oh.
- Janet Jackson.

13
00:00:25,196 --> 00:00:26,856
Hey, you having a wardrobe
malfunction.

14
00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:28,480
You can't be you can't be
nasty today.

15
00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:29,476
'Cause of the...

16
00:00:30,128 --> 00:00:31,689
Oh, God. Is that today ?

17
00:00:31,785 --> 00:00:33,121
I reminded you last night.

18
00:00:33,613 --> 00:00:34,919
Listen, I like kids.

19
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,574
But this is not a kids environment.

20
00:00:36,628 --> 00:00:37,852
This is like HBO.

21
00:00:37,936 --> 00:00:39,303
No limits.

22
00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:40,865
<i>Who knows what I'm gonna say ?</i>

23
00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:42,080
<i>Crazy stuff.</i>

24
00:00:42,248 --> 00:00:43,768
And it is R rated.

25
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,189
It is not rated G.

26
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,876
I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw.

27
00:00:48,312 --> 00:00:51,826
And they are trying to make me into
Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare.

28
00:00:51,887 --> 00:00:53,173
Both great movies.

29
00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:54,267
But still.

30
00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:56,634
Well, I'll be in my office.

31
00:00:56,658 --> 00:00:58,413
Don't you think you should
say something ?

32
00:00:58,432 --> 00:01:00,596
- They're cool.
- Michael, I think that as the boss,

33
00:01:00,615 --> 00:01:02,986
- you should... you should really...
- Fine, fine, fine !

34
00:01:03,004 --> 00:01:04,140
Hi children !

35
00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:05,576
I'm Michael Scott.

36
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:09,118
And I am in charge of this place.

37
00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:12,235
How do I make you understand ?

38
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:14,696
I am like Superman.

39
00:01:15,187 --> 00:01:18,385
And the people who work here are
like citizens of Gotham City.

40
00:01:18,763 --> 00:01:20,232
- That's Batman.
- Okay,

41
00:01:20,298 --> 00:01:21,461
I'm Aquaman.

42
00:01:21,524 --> 00:01:22,901
Where does he live, guys ?

43
00:01:23,003 --> 00:01:24,483
The ocean.

44
00:01:24,722 --> 00:01:26,273
I work with a bunch of nerds.

45
00:01:50,807 --> 00:01:54,126
Episode 18 - Season 2
TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY

46
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:57,431
Synchronisation: Catch 22 team
Script: Nikki (twiztv.com)

47
00:01:57,537 --> 00:02:00,542
http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/
www.forom.com

48
00:02:08,923 --> 00:02:10,065
Hello, tiny one.

49
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,320
Come on.

50
00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:13,347
You are the future.

51
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:19,169
This is my file cabinet.

52
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:33,556
This is the partition between
my desk and Angela's.

53
00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:39,277
Abby is my fiancee Stacy's daughter.
I think she'll have a good time.

54
00:02:39,635 --> 00:02:43,009
I just hope she doesn't
look on my computer.

55
00:02:44,644 --> 00:02:47,027
Actually, I'd better go check.

56
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,973
Michael, you remember
my daughter Melissa.

57
00:02:52,057 --> 00:02:54,208
Oh, yes. Hello, how are you ?

58
00:02:54,335 --> 00:02:56,823
Good to see you.
Wow, you've really grown up.

59
00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:59,175
You know what ? Don't mind me saying so.

60
00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:01,373
She is turning into a stone cold fox.

61
00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:04,716
Better keep the frat boys away from her.

62
00:03:05,074 --> 00:03:08,407
- I'm in 8th grade.
- She's in middle school.

63
00:03:08,517 --> 00:03:11,069
Yeah, middle school's amazing.
It is extraordinary.

64
00:03:11,238 --> 00:03:12,756
An extraordinary time.

65
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,770
It's not that children
make me uncomfortable.

66
00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:17,385
It's just that, why be a dad
when you can be a fun uncle ?

67
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:20,675
I've never heard of anyone
rebelling against their fun uncle.

68
00:03:20,997 --> 00:03:22,789
They want how many spiral pads?

69
00:03:23,264 --> 00:03:27,482
Well, 50. I over ordered
because they had a back order.

70
00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:30,039
<i>I got permission to
bring Jakey in to work.</i>

71
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:32,802
Which is great because,
he got suspended this week.

72
00:03:32,854 --> 00:03:35,237
And now I don't have
to pay for a sitter.

73
00:03:35,322 --> 00:03:37,768
Can you pull that down there ?

74
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,283
Okay, tell 'em what you wanted to say.

75
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,308
- Do you need any help ?
- No,

76
00:03:42,845 --> 00:03:44,364
Thanks.

77
00:03:44,427 --> 00:03:46,431
We'd have to explain everything.

78
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,035
It's probably just easier
if we do it ourselves.

79
00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:53,295
All right, I wasn't expecting that.
Let's, go draw.

80
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,759
Oh, my God. She is so cute,
I wanna die.

81
00:03:56,828 --> 00:03:59,069
Don't you just love kids, Angela ?

82
00:03:59,617 --> 00:04:02,802
I guess I wouldn't mind a
pair of small, well behaved boys.

83
00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:06,181
God, I cannot wait to get
pregnant and have babies.

84
00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:10,088
Kelly and I both agreed that
we would just have fun.

85
00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:13,958
And I'm learning that fun for Kelly is,

86
00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:16,584
getting married and having babies.

87
00:04:16,921 --> 00:04:18,292
Immediately.

88
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:19,789
With me.

89
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,731
Just compare last year's
orders with this year's.

90
00:04:23,976 --> 00:04:26,106
Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

91
00:04:29,744 --> 00:04:30,825
Yes.

92
00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:33,849
We...

93
00:04:35,527 --> 00:04:37,088
Yeah, they're very...

94
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,557
They're different.

95
00:04:40,884 --> 00:04:42,529
Yeah, we can stick with last year's.

96
00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:44,807
We're just gonna have to
supplement it somehow.

97
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,325
Hey, Abby !

98
00:04:46,415 --> 00:04:49,220
Do you wanna help me
shred some old documents ?

99
00:04:49,895 --> 00:04:51,397
It's actually pretty cool.

100
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,675
No thanks.

101
00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:56,422
I only have one goal today

102
00:04:56,617 --> 00:04:58,536
To make one kid like me.

103
00:04:59,891 --> 00:05:01,093
Just one.

104
00:05:01,204 --> 00:05:02,490
What are you reading ?

105
00:05:02,596 --> 00:05:05,401
"From the Mixed up Files of
Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler."

106
00:05:06,355 --> 00:05:07,895
Best book.

107
00:05:08,132 --> 00:05:10,937
- Yeah, but I read it before.
- So have I.

108
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:12,782
Hey, question.

109
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:16,220
if you had to spend the night in the Met
Ior the aquarium which would it be ?

110
00:05:16,710 --> 00:05:18,439
- Definitely the aquarium.
- Definitely.

111
00:05:18,629 --> 00:05:20,612
Yes. Glad you said that.

112
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:23,990
You don't want to help me
with some of my sales, do you ?

113
00:05:24,017 --> 00:05:25,110
'Cause I'm kinda swamped.

114
00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:26,364
- Sure.
- Really ?

115
00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:27,698
Yes.

116
00:05:27,803 --> 00:05:29,221
- And you're Abby, right ?
- Yes

117
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,477
I'm Jim.

118
00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:33,223
And, let's sell some paper.

119
00:05:33,339 --> 00:05:36,545
- All right.
- Let's start with your mom.

120
00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,638
Yes. Well.

121
00:05:38,891 --> 00:05:40,051
We can...

122
00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,280
Hey, you know what ?
Can I call you back ?

123
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,114
I'll call you right back. Yes, I promise

124
00:05:50,448 --> 00:05:52,789
Hello, can I help you ?

125
00:05:55,394 --> 00:05:58,178
You can pick that up if you want.
That's all right.

126
00:05:59,891 --> 00:06:01,684
Wanna bring it over..

127
00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:04,515
Here, I'll make some room.

128
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,503
My name's Michael.

129
00:06:12,735 --> 00:06:14,401
- What's your name ?
- Sasha.

130
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:16,157
Nice to meet you.

131
00:06:16,246 --> 00:06:17,596
Oh, you know what that is ?

132
00:06:17,828 --> 00:06:20,021
That is a train whistle.

133
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:22,093
Like I'm the conductor.

134
00:06:22,325 --> 00:06:24,814
But I'm sort of the conductor
of the office here, right ?

135
00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:28,684
- You wanna try ?
- Sure.

136
00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:31,765
All aboard for sales !

137
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:34,191
Next stop, Cook...

138
00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:36,806
Camonga !

139
00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:40,845
- You broke my hand.
- There is no way that hurt.

140
00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:43,249
Really ?
Cause she's pretty strong, Dwight.

141
00:06:43,776 --> 00:06:45,737
Little girl, come over here.

142
00:06:47,113 --> 00:06:48,695
Shake my hand.

143
00:06:48,996 --> 00:06:51,062
Come on, I don't have all day.

144
00:06:53,324 --> 00:06:54,843
I didn't feel anything. Nothing.

145
00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:57,700
You're so weak.

146
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,080
Excuse me, these are expensive
collector's items. Okay ?

147
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:06,666
- Do you have any computer games ?
- No.

148
00:07:06,707 --> 00:07:08,714
I don't have computer games
on my work computer.

149
00:07:08,748 --> 00:07:09,940
That would be inappropriate.

150
00:07:09,978 --> 00:07:11,772
Yeah, Meredith doesn't have
any either.

151
00:07:11,857 --> 00:07:14,493
- It's so lame here.
- You call your mom Meredith ?

152
00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:17,873
- That's very disrespectful.
- Whatever, okay ?

153
00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:20,683
You can refer to me as Mr. Schrute.

154
00:07:21,089 --> 00:07:22,628
That's your name ?

155
00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:24,616
- Mr. Poop?
- Shrute.

156
00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:27,231
- Mr. Shrute.
- Sure, Mr. Poop.

157
00:07:30,679 --> 00:07:32,261
Schrute.

158
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,841
Are you Mother Goose ?

159
00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:47,925
I drink like, 100 iced Macchiatos a
day and practically nothing else.

160
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,627
There's a really cool coffee place,

161
00:07:50,711 --> 00:07:53,432
Jitters, at the Steamtown Mall.
You ever been there ?

162
00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:56,066
- No.
- You've never been to Jitters ?

163
00:07:56,722 --> 00:07:58,789
Ryan, you are so dorky.

164
00:07:59,131 --> 00:08:00,755
Gimme your number
so I can text you.

165
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,144
Come on.

166
00:08:06,439 --> 00:08:07,836
Can I have your e-mail address ?

167
00:08:07,899 --> 00:08:10,119
I just thought you should know.

168
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,840
I think something a little
fishy is going on.

169
00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:14,738
- A little fishy ?
- Yeah.

170
00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:17,400
I've been noticing them all day.
And I was thinking...

171
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,683
That little girl is a child !

172
00:08:19,857 --> 00:08:23,321
I don't wanna see you sniffing
around her anymore this afternoon !

173
00:08:23,342 --> 00:08:25,535
Do you understand ?
Boy, have you lost your mind ?

174
00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:27,285
- No, no.
- Cause I'll help you find it.

175
00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,811
Watcha looking for ? Ain't nobody
gonna help you out there.

176
00:08:29,838 --> 00:08:32,486
Jesus can come through that door,
and he's not gonna help you.

177
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,315
If you don't stop sniffing
around my child.

178
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,950
Stanley yelled at me today.

179
00:08:35,988 --> 00:08:39,291
That was one of the most
frightening experiences of my life.

180
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:52,590
That was Greensleeves.

181
00:08:52,696 --> 00:08:55,670
A traditional English ballad about
the beheaded Anne Boleyn.

182
00:08:56,091 --> 00:08:58,474
And now, a very special treat.

183
00:08:58,585 --> 00:09:01,474
A book my granmutter used
to read me when I was a kid.

184
00:09:01,696 --> 00:09:03,130
This is a very special story

185
00:09:03,383 --> 00:09:09,209
It's called Struwwelpeter by
Heinrich Hoffmann from 1864.

186
00:09:10,564 --> 00:09:15,383
The great tall tailor always comes
to little girls that suck their thumbs.

187
00:09:15,446 --> 00:09:17,471
Are you listening, Sasha ? Right ?

188
00:09:17,555 --> 00:09:19,306
And ere they dream what he's about,

189
00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:24,146
he takes his great sharp scissors out
and then cuts their thumbs clean off.

190
00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:26,883
- Dwight, What the hell are you reading?
- There's a photo.

191
00:09:26,952 --> 00:09:28,426
These are cautionary tales for kids.

192
00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:31,082
- Yeah, you know what ?  No...
- My granmutter used to read...

193
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,048
They kids don't wanna
hear some weirdo book,

194
00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:35,204
that your Nazi war criminal
grandmother gave you.

195
00:09:35,315 --> 00:09:37,129
- What's a Nazi ?
- What's a Nazi ?

196
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:39,670
Nazi was a facist movement in the 1930s.

197
00:09:39,719 --> 00:09:41,973
Don't, talk about Nazis in
front of... You know what ?

198
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,415
They're gonna have nightmares.
Why don't you just shut it ?

199
00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:47,210
I was gonna teach the children
how to make corn husk dolls.

200
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,451
Why don't you just leave ? Okay ?

201
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,842
- Bye, Mr. Poop.
- All right

202
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:55,574
There goes Mr. Poop. Now,

203
00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:57,577
- who likes Dane Cook?
- I do !

204
00:09:57,709 --> 00:10:00,155
Children cannot lie. They are innocent,

205
00:10:00,198 --> 00:10:03,361
and they speak the truth.
And out of the mouths of babes,

206
00:10:03,746 --> 00:10:06,572
Michael Scott is freakin' cool.

207
00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:16,669
You know, I never misbehaved
in front of my father.

208
00:10:16,779 --> 00:10:19,416
Because he was a very
strict disciplinarian.

209
00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:23,491
I can only hope my mate has
some of those same qualities.

210
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,916
This is where the magic happens.

211
00:10:31,322 --> 00:10:33,284
Right over here, let me show you this.

212
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,061
See all these ?

213
00:10:35,662 --> 00:10:37,475
You know what that is ?

214
00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:40,344
That's paper. This is where paper
comes from. Any questions ?

215
00:10:40,829 --> 00:10:43,939
So, you cut the paper
and dye it and stuff ?

216
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:46,639
No, we don't actually cut the paper.
That's a good question.

217
00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:51,178
The paper is sent to us cut and
dyed from a paper manufacturer.

218
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,344
And then we sell it to a business
for more than we pay for it.

219
00:10:55,539 --> 00:10:56,804
- That's not fair.
-  No.

220
00:10:56,846 --> 00:10:58,829
- Yes it is.
- No, no.

221
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:00,985
You need someone in
the middle to facilitate...

222
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:03,595
- You're just the middle man.
- I'm not just the middle man.

223
00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:06,515
Wait, why doesn't the sawmill just
sell the paper directly to people ?

224
00:11:06,571 --> 00:11:08,310
You're describing Office Depot.

225
00:11:08,405 --> 00:11:10,408
And they're kind of running us
out of business.

226
00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:12,771
We have better service than they do.

227
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:18,639
There's Creed ! Let's take a look
at what he's doing, everybody.

228
00:11:20,294 --> 00:11:23,184
This is Creed. And he is in charge of...

229
00:11:23,779 --> 00:11:25,361
Something, right ?
- That is correct.

230
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,280
- Say hi to the kids.
- Hi kids.

231
00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:31,024
You ever seen a foot
with four toes ?

232
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,185
- Cool !
- What are you doing ? Stop it, stop it.

233
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:35,569
Just no, no, no. No !
Would you cut it out ?

234
00:11:36,054 --> 00:11:38,639
- What is your problem ?
- Well, the hair covers it up mostly.

235
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,778
We're not gonna see the
four-toed Creed, okay ?

236
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:44,380
You know, there's something interesting
about me that you might wanna know.

237
00:11:44,421 --> 00:11:46,841
I used to be the star of a kids show.

238
00:11:46,899 --> 00:11:48,734
- No way.
- It's true, I did.

239
00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:50,955
- You serious ?  Really ?
- I am totally serious.

240
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,217
There was a show called
Fundle Bundle, and I was the star.

241
00:11:54,349 --> 00:11:57,301
- That doesn't sound like a show.
-  It's true. I can prove it.

242
00:11:57,396 --> 00:11:59,990
Watch this. Ryan,
can you come here a second ?

243
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,934
I would like you to go to
my mother's house in Dixon City.

244
00:12:04,493 --> 00:12:07,530
And if she's at the pool, the back
kitchen window should be unlocked.

245
00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:09,542
- I want you to boost yourself up.
- All right.

246
00:12:09,566 --> 00:12:11,177
I want you to go down to
the basement.

247
00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:12,808
There is a tape
labeled Fundle Bundle.

248
00:12:12,835 --> 00:12:14,992
I want you to grab it.
I want you to get my guitar.

249
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:17,063
- Right, okay.
- I want you to get a tambourine.

250
00:12:17,118 --> 00:12:18,783
Do you know how to
play the tambourine ?

251
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:21,036
I'm already getting the
pizzas from Bernetti's, so...

252
00:12:21,063 --> 00:12:23,078
- You know, I can go with him.
- No ! I will go.

253
00:12:23,144 --> 00:12:25,211
Okay ! Thank you, Ryan

254
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,045
Good attitude. Hottest in the office.

255
00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:29,808
All right, now what kind
of pizza do you like ?

256
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,154
I don't get why parents are
always complaining about,

257
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,211
how tuff it is to raise kids.

258
00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:36,615
You joke around with them.
You give 'em pizza

259
00:12:36,784 --> 00:12:39,483
You give 'em candy.
You let them live their lives.

260
00:12:39,641 --> 00:12:40,949
They're adults for God's sake.

261
00:12:41,059 --> 00:12:45,615
I am going to give you a little blast
from the past of Michael Gary Scott,

262
00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:47,376
when he was a child star.

263
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:50,518
And a show that you might
remember called Fundle Bundle.

264
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,880
Okay, without further ado, Ryan ?

265
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,931
<i>Bundle, are you
ready to come on in ?</i>

266
00:12:56,856 --> 00:12:57,910
<i>Let's have some fun !</i>

267
00:12:57,931 --> 00:13:01,901
That is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from her
costume, but she had an amazing body.

268
00:13:03,256 --> 00:13:05,597
Okay, you can fast forward.

269
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:07,485
And I want you.

270
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:10,617
- Is that a real working windmill ?
- It's coming up. Stop ! Stop. Stop.

271
00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:15,420
Yes. That is Edward R. Meow.

272
00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:18,409
- That's pretty funny.
- Yeah.

273
00:13:20,139 --> 00:13:21,509
<i>Hey, what's your name ?</i>

274
00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:23,877
<i>- My name's Chet.
- Well, hi Chet.</i>

275
00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:26,892
- Is that Chet Montgomery ?
-  I don't, I don't know.

276
00:13:26,966 --> 00:13:28,400
Yeah, that is !

277
00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,425
He's the meteorologist from channel 4.

278
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:32,618
Checking in with Chet. Doppler 7.

279
00:13:33,472 --> 00:13:34,527
That guy's legit.

280
00:13:34,675 --> 00:13:36,868
<i>What do you wanna
be when you grow up ?</i>

281
00:13:37,105 --> 00:13:38,877
<i>I wanna be on TV.</i>

282
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:41,581
And he is on TV now !

283
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:44,534
Will everybody please shut up.
Please. So you don't miss it.

284
00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:47,666
<i>Okay, next.</i>

285
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,041
<i>- So, what's your name ?</i>
- That's me, that's me.

286
00:13:50,223 --> 00:13:54,973
<i>Hi Michael, I'm Ed. What's your
favorite subject at school ?</i>

287
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,557
<i>- Recess.
- Recess.</i>

288
00:13:57,915 --> 00:14:01,458
<i>So, tell me, what do you
wanna be when you grow up ?</i>

289
00:14:01,754 --> 00:14:04,147
<i>I wanna be married
and have 100 kids.<i>

290
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,919
<i>So I can have 100 friends.<i>

291
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:08,597
<i>And no one can say
no to being my friend.</i>

292
00:14:15,425 --> 00:14:17,803
<i>Okay. Well, nice talking
with you, Michael.</i>

293
00:14:17,841 --> 00:14:19,543
<i>Back to you Ms. Trudy.</i>

294
00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:22,142
<i>Hi everyone, it's one
of my favorite...</i>

295
00:14:22,205 --> 00:14:24,632
- Could have sworn there was...
- Did you get married ?

296
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:26,281
- No.
- Why not ?

297
00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:28,395
It just never happened.

298
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,247
So do you have any kids ?

299
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:32,787
Nope.

300
00:14:33,051 --> 00:14:34,126
Do you have a girlfriend ?

301
00:14:34,216 --> 00:14:36,426
- I do okay.
- Was Chet Montgomery cool back then ?

302
00:14:36,453 --> 00:14:38,916
- Even I have a girlfriend.
- Okay. All right, okay.

303
00:14:39,081 --> 00:14:41,576
So you didn't get to
be what you wanted to be.

304
00:14:43,269 --> 00:14:45,103
I guess not.

305
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:49,395
You know, I have a load of work to do.

306
00:14:49,506 --> 00:14:52,754
So I am going to grab a
slice of this delish pizza.

307
00:14:53,945 --> 00:14:55,907
And I'm gonna go do my work.

308
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:57,864
Bye.

309
00:15:07,597 --> 00:15:10,344
He's not coming out.
He won't pick up the phone.

310
00:15:10,766 --> 00:15:14,175
I can't believe his mom dressed him
like that. That's the real tragedy.

311
00:15:15,142 --> 00:15:17,335
Pam, Pam ! I love this guy !

312
00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:31,281
So, Melissa, I met your
mom a couple times.

313
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,411
She's so nice.

314
00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:35,799
Who, Terri ?

315
00:15:36,205 --> 00:15:37,661
That woman is not my mother.

316
00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:39,158
That is my step mother.

317
00:15:44,146 --> 00:15:45,778
Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something.

318
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,399
Okay. But first, that's not my name.

319
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,487
You're ugly.

320
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:54,079
Well, at least I'm not
a horrible little latchkey kid

321
00:15:54,142 --> 00:15:56,420
who got suspended from school,

322
00:15:57,052 --> 00:15:58,107
so...

323
00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,184
Meredith !

324
00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:14,441
Yeah ?

325
00:16:15,722 --> 00:16:18,654
I think these belong to you.

326
00:16:18,822 --> 00:16:21,501
That's okay, she can keep those.

327
00:16:22,218 --> 00:16:23,926
Believe me, she has enough toys.

328
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:26,356
She doesn't need your watch.

329
00:16:27,327 --> 00:16:28,592
Thank you.

330
00:16:32,064 --> 00:16:33,604
Is everything okay ?

331
00:16:35,459 --> 00:16:38,285
You have to ask me that because
you work for human resources.

332
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,454
That's true.

333
00:16:41,570 --> 00:16:43,974
You know, sure,
playing the field is great.

334
00:16:44,038 --> 00:16:47,285
Don't get me wrong. But there's more
to life than notches on my bedpost.

335
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,907
Tell me something honestly.

336
00:16:49,962 --> 00:16:54,809
Do you think, that it is too
late for me to have kids ?

337
00:16:55,911 --> 00:16:58,126
Well, you need a wife
first or at least a girlfriend.

338
00:16:58,231 --> 00:16:59,969
- What about...
-Not Jan.

339
00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:02,373
- Okay.
- You really wanna have kids,

340
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,714
I guess you could somehow.

341
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:09,929
Foster parent or something.

342
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:14,263
Or biologically.

343
00:17:14,684 --> 00:17:16,583
Somehow.

344
00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:20,047
Thanks, that's...No, that really
means a lot to me.

345
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:26,658
Hey, does Sasha have a godfather ?
Because...

346
00:17:26,732 --> 00:17:29,031
- Yes.
- O-kay.

347
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,321
Is it okay if I take one ?

348
00:17:32,563 --> 00:17:33,954
- Sure.
-Thank you.

349
00:17:34,102 --> 00:17:36,085
You're welcome.

350
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,519
Is your job hard ?

351
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,503
It's not too bad.

352
00:17:40,799 --> 00:17:43,314
I get to shred things sometimes.
Do you wanna see ?

353
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,106
- Yeah !
- Really ?

354
00:17:45,175 --> 00:17:47,094
- Yeah.
- Okay.

355
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:53,236
Here it is.
Don't put your fingers in there.

356
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,034
- Cool ?
- Yeah.

357
00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:01,140
Yeah, I get to do this,
like, every week.

358
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:02,684
- That's so awesome.
- I know.

359
00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:04,941
Yes, it is true

360
00:18:05,162 --> 00:18:09,296
I, Michael Scott am signing up
with an online dating service.

361
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:12,386
Thousands of people have done it,
and I'm going to do it.

362
00:18:12,765 --> 00:18:14,537
I need a user name.

363
00:18:14,684 --> 00:18:16,667
And I have a great one.

364
00:18:21,844 --> 00:18:23,036
Little Kid Lover.

365
00:18:23,141 --> 00:18:26,558
That way, people will know exactly
where my priorities are at.

366
00:18:29,938 --> 00:18:31,519
Go ahead.

367
00:18:32,057 --> 00:18:34,546
Do you wanna come over
for dinner tonight ?

368
00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:37,013
Oh man, I would love to.

369
00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:39,470
I can't tonight, but can
I come over some other time ?

370
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:42,465
What are you doing ?
You never have plans.

371
00:18:43,287 --> 00:18:44,790
Thanks, Kev.

372
00:18:44,943 --> 00:18:47,452
- I'm actually going on a date.
- Nice.

373
00:18:48,718 --> 00:18:50,832
Hey, no, please. You can't leave yet.

374
00:18:50,938 --> 00:18:52,879
There's still one more
thing we need to do.

375
00:18:54,465 --> 00:18:57,739
<i>You, you are on the road</i>

376
00:18:59,136 --> 00:19:01,119
<i>Must have a code</i>

377
00:19:01,983 --> 00:19:04,920
<i>That you can live by</i>

378
00:19:05,057 --> 00:19:09,739
<i>And so become yourself</i>

379
00:19:10,841 --> 00:19:13,561
<i>Because the past</i>

380
00:19:13,989 --> 00:19:16,836
<i>Is just a good-bye</i>

381
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:21,504
<i>And teach your children well</i>

382
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,245
Why does he own a guitar if he
doesn't know how to play it ?

383
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,051
I think he thought his
ukulele skills would transfer.

384
00:19:29,966 --> 00:19:33,942
<i>And feed them on your dreams</i>

385
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,418
My theory is that...

386
00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:37,828
<i>The one they picked</i>

387
00:19:38,692 --> 00:19:41,149
<i>The one you know by</i>

388
00:19:42,668 --> 00:19:46,506
<i>Don't you ever ask them why</i>

389
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:49,680
<i>If I told you you would cry</i>

390
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:53,803
<i>You just look at them and sigh</i>

391
00:19:57,183 --> 00:20:00,641
<i>And know they love you</i>

392
00:20:00,963 --> 00:20:03,325
And they do.
Your parents love you very much.

393
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,764
One more time.

394
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:05,945
<i>You...</i>