1
00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:09,501
So, you found a band yet
for your wedding ?

2
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:13,303
'Cause I'm in a band.
We really rock.

3
00:00:13,363 --> 00:00:14,954
Yeah, I mean, it's inevitable.

4
00:00:15,088 --> 00:00:18,040
I definitely overhear some wedding
preparation, but I'm fine with it.

5
00:00:18,711 --> 00:00:21,097
She hears me arranging
my social life...

6
00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:24,854
and we both have to hear Dwight
order deer urine over the internet,

7
00:00:24,988 --> 00:00:26,404
so it evens out.

8
00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:28,257
So I got the Save The Date.

9
00:00:28,301 --> 00:00:29,781
- Yeah ?
- Yeah, pretty stationary.

10
00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:31,760
- Oh, thanks.
- I didn't get mine yet.

11
00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:39,155
There are a few people
I decided not to invite.

12
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,782
And that might make things
kind of awkward, but...

13
00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:45,674
it's my wedding.

14
00:00:46,122 --> 00:00:49,789
And I don't want anyone there
who has called me a hussy.

15
00:01:13,285 --> 00:01:15,953
Episode 21 - Season 2
Conflict resolution

16
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:19,129
Script: Nikki (twiztv.com)
Synchronisation: Catch-22 Team

17
00:01:19,219 --> 00:01:21,768
http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/
www.forom.com

18
00:01:22,786 --> 00:01:25,895
Yes, thanks. Fantastic Sam's.
Adult cut plus.

19
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,725
Comes with a shampoo and blow dry.

20
00:01:29,534 --> 00:01:31,282
We're doing I.D. photos today.

21
00:01:31,329 --> 00:01:32,561
Gotta represent.

22
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:35,024
On or off ?

23
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,408
Off.

24
00:01:38,444 --> 00:01:40,051
What is on your face ?

25
00:01:40,331 --> 00:01:41,844
Is that a disguise ?

26
00:01:42,641 --> 00:01:43,967
Excuse me.

27
00:01:45,245 --> 00:01:46,512
Clown paint.

28
00:01:47,137 --> 00:01:48,509
I.D. badges are long overdue.

29
00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:50,551
Security in this office park
is a joke.

30
00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:54,292
Last year I came to work with
my spud gun in a duffel bag.

31
00:01:54,691 --> 00:01:56,697
I sat at my desk all day

32
00:01:56,756 --> 00:02:00,049
with a rifle that shoots potatoes
at 60 pounds per square inch.

33
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,958
Can you imagine if I was deranged ?

34
00:02:03,814 --> 00:02:04,975
That's a nice tie.

35
00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:09,832
Thank you. That is...

36
00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,756
- who makes that ?
- I don't know.

37
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,692
Do you mind if I wear that
for the photo ?

38
00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:17,187
Let's... let's keep our clothes.

39
00:02:18,309 --> 00:02:19,611
<i>It's like child abuse!</i>

40
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:24,162
<i>I say, if Jesus saw that,
he'd freak out!</i>

41
00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:25,687
<i>He'd freak out, Toby.</i>

42
00:02:25,781 --> 00:02:28,276
<i>I mean, on so many levels!
And I'm supposed to work there!</i>

43
00:02:28,346 --> 00:02:30,986
- I'm supposed to...
- What's the deal... e... o ?

44
00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:32,804
Just letting Oscar vent a little.

45
00:02:32,851 --> 00:02:35,619
We would use the break room,
but the photographer's back there.

46
00:02:35,678 --> 00:02:37,267
- What's the problem ?
- Angela.

47
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:41,302
It's just a little dispute over
a poster in their workspace.

48
00:02:41,372 --> 00:02:44,012
- Since Christmas.
- So what, you're having a little spat ?

49
00:02:44,305 --> 00:02:45,760
I forget, are you guys dating ?

50
00:02:46,287 --> 00:02:49,736
Michael, can I talk to you
for a second, please ?

51
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,216
Here's how I usually handle this.
All I do is listen.

52
00:02:53,286 --> 00:02:56,013
You know, these things just have
a way of working themselves out.

53
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:58,868
It's like if you write someone
a letter when you're really angry.

54
00:02:58,904 --> 00:03:01,109
They say to keep it in your drawer
for a couple days,

55
00:03:01,156 --> 00:03:02,892
and then you just never
end up sending it.

56
00:03:02,939 --> 00:03:04,851
What do you know about
conflict resolution ?

57
00:03:04,886 --> 00:03:07,479
Your answer to everything
is to get divorced, so...

58
00:03:07,526 --> 00:03:09,180
- Okay.
- Okay, what ?

59
00:03:09,238 --> 00:03:11,385
That was a right decision
for me and my marriage.

60
00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:13,696
Well, that's not gonna fly here
because in this office

61
00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:15,162
it is till death do us part.

62
00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:17,039
Assuming that we don't get
downsized.

63
00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:18,325
Pam,

64
00:03:18,876 --> 00:03:21,915
would you get Angela and meet us
in the conference room, please ?

65
00:03:22,525 --> 00:03:24,871
A Mediator's Toolchest.

66
00:03:27,576 --> 00:03:30,908
Okay, well, before we get started,
you should know

67
00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:34,662
that there are five
different styles of conflict.

68
00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:38,821
My Shaolin Temple style
defeats your Monkey Style.

69
00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:41,088
Can we go ?
I have a lot of work to do.

70
00:03:41,135 --> 00:03:42,226
This is important.

71
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:45,123
- The first style is "lose-lose".
- What's the next one ?

72
00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:48,018
Just, hold on, please.

73
00:03:48,065 --> 00:03:52,393
Okay, if we do lose-lose,
neither of you gets what you want.

74
00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,748
Do you understand ?

75
00:03:55,984 --> 00:03:59,397
You... you would both lose.

76
00:04:00,101 --> 00:04:01,778
Now, I need to ask you,

77
00:04:01,814 --> 00:04:05,297
do you want to pursue
a lose-lose negotiation ?

78
00:04:06,318 --> 00:04:09,604
Can we just skip to whatever
number five is ? Win-win or whatever ?

79
00:04:09,651 --> 00:04:14,906
Win-win, is number four,
and number five is win-win-win.

80
00:04:14,929 --> 00:04:18,665
The important difference here is
with win-win-win, we all win.

81
00:04:19,078 --> 00:04:23,829
Me too. I win for having successfully
mediated a conflict at work.

82
00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:28,312
Okay, so this is the disputed poster.

83
00:04:28,359 --> 00:04:33,086
Now, one at a time,
I want you to express your feelings

84
00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:39,640
using "I" emotion language and
no judging, or "you" statements.

85
00:04:39,898 --> 00:04:43,699
I got this poster for Christmas, and
I feel I want to see it every day.

86
00:04:44,131 --> 00:04:46,735
It makes me feel like the babies
are the true artists,

87
00:04:46,794 --> 00:04:49,011
and God has a really
cute sense of humor.

88
00:04:49,234 --> 00:04:50,559
Come on, seriously. That ?

89
00:04:50,653 --> 00:04:52,495
I don't like looking at it.

90
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,533
It's creepy and in bad taste,
and it's just offensive to me.

91
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,636
It makes me think of the horrible,
frigid stage mothers

92
00:04:58,684 --> 00:05:00,115
who forced the babies into it.

93
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,438
It's kitsch.
It's the opposite of art.

94
00:05:02,591 --> 00:05:04,692
It destroys art. It destroys souls.

95
00:05:04,751 --> 00:05:07,214
This is so much more offensive
to me than hard-core porno.

96
00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:09,361
- I'm talking about the kind...
- Oh my God.

97
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:14,835
Let's see if we can't just brainstorm
and find some creative alternatives

98
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,173
- that are win-win.
- Win

99
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:17,615
Yes. Thank you, Pam.

100
00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:23,500
How about, Angela makes the poster
into a t-shirt which Oscar wears.

101
00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:27,395
That way he can never see it,
and whenever she looks at Oscar,

102
00:05:27,571 --> 00:05:30,384
she can see it. Win-win-win.

103
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,096
- No.
- That's... no.

104
00:05:32,577 --> 00:05:34,337
Well, brainstorm. Own the solution.

105
00:05:34,513 --> 00:05:37,257
- How about I leave it up ?
- How about she takes it down ?

106
00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:41,728
How about Angela can keep it up
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

107
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,743
Okay, that is called a compromise.

108
00:05:45,306 --> 00:05:48,591
And it is style three,
and it is not ideal.

109
00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:52,251
To sum up, win-win,
make the poster into a t-shirt.

110
00:05:52,364 --> 00:05:54,652
Win-lose, take the poster down.

111
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:58,769
Compromise, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
And the answer is...

112
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,089
make the poster into a t-shirt.

113
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:03,379
- Win-win.
- Win.

114
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,681
- Fine.
- But...

115
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,546
It is done!

116
00:06:09,584 --> 00:06:11,378
- No, you're all good.
- Great.

117
00:06:16,434 --> 00:06:19,672
Hey, Angela.
I didn't have your zip code.

118
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,059
Thanks.

119
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:25,601
<i>It was hand-delivered.</i>

120
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,229
but I did get a Save The Date
after all.

121
00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:30,997
It's not my taste.

122
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,475
You solved it.

123
00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:36,815
We can, throw that one out.

124
00:06:37,941 --> 00:06:39,583
Are those all the other complaints ?

125
00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:41,343
I would like to see those please.

126
00:06:41,971 --> 00:06:44,739
- I can't do that.
- You can't do that, huh ?

127
00:06:46,569 --> 00:06:48,528
Now you and I have a conflict.

128
00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:50,651
I order you to give me that file.

129
00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:51,789
That...

130
00:06:56,418 --> 00:06:57,861
There! No more conflict.

131
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:01,239
I had to use the win-lose on that.
It was not pretty.

132
00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:02,893
All right. Is that it ?

133
00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:10,950
It's all Dwight's.

134
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:14,552
Every Friday at 4:00,  I have
a standing appointment with Dwight

135
00:07:14,728 --> 00:07:17,157
for him to file a grievance
against Jim.

136
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:20,101
<i>I tell him that I'm sending them
to a special file in New York.</i>

137
00:07:20,594 --> 00:07:23,116
That box is the special file
in New York.

138
00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:26,083
Oh, God. All right.

139
00:07:26,327 --> 00:07:28,180
Why do I have to do everything ?

140
00:07:28,286 --> 00:07:29,330
Are you sure ?

141
00:07:29,377 --> 00:07:31,160
Oh, he's sure. Just shoot.

142
00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:36,583
This, is from Kevin.

143
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:40,032
He says Stanley uses his
Miracle Whip without asking.

144
00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:43,985
Meredith complains that everyone
talks too loud in the morning

145
00:07:44,055 --> 00:07:45,933
and the lights are too bright.

146
00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:47,740
Creed...

147
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:52,549
Creed is sick of looking
at the redhead all day

148
00:07:52,678 --> 00:07:55,552
and wants a seat
facing the receptionist.

149
00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:56,948
Nice.

150
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:01,018
You will notice that not one
of these complaints is against me.

151
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:04,842
Actually, I have a separate folder
for complaints against Michael.

152
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:10,769
This is January through March
of this year.

153
00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:16,911
How many of you have at one time

154
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,832
gone to Toby to complain
about another employee ?

155
00:08:21,615 --> 00:08:25,499
And, did you get what you wanted,
or were you merely listened to,

156
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,221
you forget about your problem,
and you move on ?

157
00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:33,285
That is outrageous!
I love this place...

158
00:08:34,317 --> 00:08:37,484
and it pains me to see
all of the negativity...

159
00:08:38,129 --> 00:08:39,162
festering...

160
00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:45,502
Today we are going to get
everything out of these files

161
00:08:45,537 --> 00:08:47,848
and into the open,
where it can be resolved.

162
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:51,964
All right, how about
the Phyllis-Angela dispute ?

163
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,720
- You already did me.
- That's what she said.

164
00:08:54,873 --> 00:08:59,072
The thing is, Angela,
you are in here an awful lot.

165
00:08:59,131 --> 00:09:01,313
You have complained about
everybody in the office,

166
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,210
except Dwight, which is odd

167
00:09:03,456 --> 00:09:06,318
because  everyone else
has had run in with Dwight.

168
00:09:06,389 --> 00:09:08,406
Toby, by the way,
what does "redacted" mean ?

169
00:09:08,629 --> 00:09:11,538
There is a file full of complaints
in here marked "redacted."

170
00:09:11,893 --> 00:09:14,697
It just means whoever complained
came to me later and withdrew it,

171
00:09:14,732 --> 00:09:16,210
so I took their name off.

172
00:09:17,711 --> 00:09:20,046
There were a bunch of complaints
about Dwight

173
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,603
that were put in the redacted file
about six months ago.

174
00:09:22,652 --> 00:09:24,832
Wait! If someone has
a problem with me,

175
00:09:24,892 --> 00:09:26,921
why would they withdraw it
six months ago ?

176
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:33,733
Let's move on. I volunteer.

177
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,587
Did anyone have a problem with me ?

178
00:09:35,645 --> 00:09:38,261
All right, Pamela. Come on down!

179
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:43,707
Let's do it. And... okay.
Just one complaint.

180
00:09:43,953 --> 00:09:45,912
Actually, it has been withdrawn.

181
00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:47,601
So that is no help to us. Next.

182
00:09:47,812 --> 00:09:48,997
Wait, what did it say ?

183
00:09:49,419 --> 00:09:51,930
"Does she have to plan her wedding
on office time ?"

184
00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,641
"Shouldn't she do that at home ?"

185
00:09:55,248 --> 00:09:56,714
Who else ?

186
00:09:56,949 --> 00:10:00,245
Why don't we just warm up first ?
Warm up emotionally, all right ?

187
00:10:00,398 --> 00:10:02,533
<i>I have this kind of big secret
about Angela.</i>

188
00:10:02,592 --> 00:10:05,943
And I've been really nice to her
and I haven't told anyone, and...

189
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,207
what the hell ?!

190
00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:10,718
Here is a Kelly complaint.

191
00:10:10,764 --> 00:10:14,225
"Ryan never returns my calls."
Ah, join the club.

192
00:10:15,511 --> 00:10:18,045
My voice mail's real spotty...
sometimes.

193
00:10:18,092 --> 00:10:20,063
I didn't file a complaint.
I was just talking.

194
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,561
To your HR representative.

195
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:24,094
To my friend, I thought.
I want that withdrawn.

196
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:27,824
Fine, I'll take your name off.
So no one will know.

197
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:30,846
Making progress.

198
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,204
- Dwight tried to kiss me.
- What ?

199
00:10:33,263 --> 00:10:36,333
And I didn't tell anyone 'cause I'm
not really sure how I feel about it.

200
00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:38,093
That is not true.
Redact it. Redact it!

201
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:40,204
Well, I'm not actually making
a formal complaint.

202
00:10:40,227 --> 00:10:42,116
I just really think
we should talk about it.

203
00:10:42,139 --> 00:10:43,887
Okay, question.
When a name is withdrawn,

204
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,133
does that also apply to the permanent
misbehavior file in New York ?

205
00:10:48,024 --> 00:10:49,042
Sure.

206
00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:51,587
Stanley.

207
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:54,373
Thanks for ratting me out.

208
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,681
I didn't do it.

209
00:10:55,874 --> 00:10:57,012
I find that hard to believe

210
00:10:57,035 --> 00:10:59,378
considering you have problems
with every single person

211
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:01,512
in this entire office
except Bobblehead Joe.

212
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:08,654
Someone complained that
the men's room is "whites only".

213
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,472
Stanley, you know that's not true.

214
00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:11,926
I didn't say that.

215
00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,624
Then why is there a picture
of a white man on the door ?

216
00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:22,839
Okay, Phyllis. You complained
that Angela is giving you dirty looks.

217
00:11:22,945 --> 00:11:25,326
And you tried to get off
the party planning committee.

218
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,505
No, I never said any such thing.
Angela and I are close.

219
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:32,725
And... also, Phyllis, Stanley says
that you cry too much,

220
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,887
and that bugs him.

221
00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:35,564
Stanley and I are close too.

222
00:11:35,705 --> 00:11:37,898
- We sit close.
- O... kay.

223
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,100
Just take it.

224
00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:45,713
I can't believe Angela.

225
00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:48,963
I went against my better judgment,
and I gave her a Save The Date.

226
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,338
And now it turns out
she complained about me to Toby.

227
00:11:51,385 --> 00:11:52,793
Well, it was redacted.

228
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,227
Look, if she wants an invite,
maybe she's just trying to be friends.

229
00:11:57,403 --> 00:11:58,975
Don't take her side.

230
00:12:01,497 --> 00:12:03,339
Well, what does Roy
think about everything ?

231
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:05,987
I don't know. I try not to bother him
about this kind of stuff.

232
00:12:06,015 --> 00:12:08,193
You mean like your thoughts
and your feelings ?

233
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:11,812
I know you keep
saying it's your space,

234
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:14,535
even though there's no assigned
parking, but I keep forgetting.

235
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:16,470
- Yes, that's the problem.
- I guess so.

236
00:12:17,977 --> 00:12:19,643
Okay, well, all settled then.

237
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:23,475
I don't like you.

238
00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:30,020
Okay, Ryan, you told Toby that
Creed has a distinct old man smell ?

239
00:12:32,492 --> 00:12:34,134
I know exactly
what he's talking about.

240
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,325
I sprout mung beans on a damp
paper towel in my desk drawer.

241
00:12:37,782 --> 00:12:40,433
Very nutritious.
But they smell like death.

242
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:42,825
All right, Kevin. You are accused of

243
00:12:42,872 --> 00:12:45,441
making sexually suggestive
remarks to Angela

244
00:12:45,488 --> 00:12:47,646
that made her feel uncomfortable.

245
00:12:47,681 --> 00:12:48,995
Solution.

246
00:12:49,054 --> 00:12:51,549
Angela, you are to make
sexually suggestive remarks

247
00:12:51,572 --> 00:12:53,484
to Kevin that will make him
uncomfortable.

248
00:12:53,508 --> 00:12:54,822
I accept your decision.

249
00:12:57,516 --> 00:12:58,525
You know what, Dwight ?

250
00:12:58,549 --> 00:13:00,695
Maybe we should get our photo I.D.
taken together.

251
00:13:00,731 --> 00:13:02,033
That doesn't make any sense.

252
00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:03,428
Well, it saves time, you know.

253
00:13:03,487 --> 00:13:05,950
'Cause we could just meet
in the parking lot every morning.

254
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,640
Walk in together. Perfect.

255
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:09,028
- Smile.
- No.

256
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,632
I never smile if I can help it.

257
00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,389
Showing one's teeth is a
submission signal in primates.

258
00:13:14,787 --> 00:13:16,125
When someone smiles at me,

259
00:13:16,242 --> 00:13:18,952
all I see is a chimpanzee
begging for its life.

260
00:13:21,664 --> 00:13:23,154
This came out really well.

261
00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:25,641
There you go.

262
00:13:30,271 --> 00:13:31,561
This is humongous.

263
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,156
am not a security threat.

264
00:13:33,672 --> 00:13:37,309
And my middle name is Kurt. Not Fart.

265
00:13:37,661 --> 00:13:38,798
What did I write ?

266
00:13:42,761 --> 00:13:45,084
I have another complaint
for Jim's permanent file.

267
00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:47,066
Talk to Michael.
I gave him the box.

268
00:13:48,063 --> 00:13:49,283
What box ?

269
00:13:51,786 --> 00:13:54,792
- But I didn't report your snoring...
- Wednesdays, tearful. Tuesdays...

270
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,529
Four years of malfeasance
unreported. This cannot stand.

271
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:06,283
- Okay. Calm down.
- No! You calm down.

272
00:14:06,307 --> 00:14:08,371
Whose side is Toby on ?
Whose side are you on ?!

273
00:14:08,394 --> 00:14:09,392
- Him or me ?
- Stop.

274
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,573
Him or me ?
I cannot work with Jim anymore.

275
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,335
- Either he goes, or I go.
- Dwight...

276
00:14:13,382 --> 00:14:14,391
- You choose!
- Stop...

277
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:16,561
One of us is out of here
by the end of today.

278
00:14:23,378 --> 00:14:24,422
I am not bluffing!

279
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:26,710
Do the right thing here, Michael.

280
00:14:26,757 --> 00:14:29,079
Okay, I have served you
loyally for years.

281
00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:31,284
I deserve this, you know I do!

282
00:14:33,771 --> 00:14:36,129
You know your I.D. says
you're a security threat ?

283
00:14:37,091 --> 00:14:38,334
You have 'till 5:00.

284
00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:47,621
Oh, look, Jim. There's a sales
manager position open in Stamford.

285
00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:51,445
Want me to call Jan
and tell her you're interested ?

286
00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:55,117
I could put in a good word for you.
'Cause I'll still be working here.

287
00:14:55,910 --> 00:15:01,048
Transfer, transfer, everybody.
Transfer, transfer, transfer!

288
00:15:01,529 --> 00:15:04,414
You two, in the conference room,
with me.

289
00:15:04,977 --> 00:15:07,763
Nobody leaves until
we work this out.

290
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,379
Cage match.

291
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,300
Cage matches ? Yeah, they work.
How could they not work ?

292
00:15:13,558 --> 00:15:16,432
If they didn't work, everybody
would still be in the cage.

293
00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:18,609
Okay, so, Dwight, in your own words.

294
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,459
"Someone replaced all my pens
and pencils with crayons."

295
00:15:21,518 --> 00:15:23,325
"I suspect Jim Halpert."

296
00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:26,487
"Everyone has called me
Dwayne all day."

297
00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:28,731
"I think Jim Halpert paid them to."

298
00:15:30,289 --> 00:15:33,819
Yes, five bucks each.
And it was totally worth it.

299
00:15:34,136 --> 00:15:37,290
"This morning I found a bloody glove
in my desk drawer"

300
00:15:37,314 --> 00:15:40,739
"and Jim Halpert tried to convince me
I committed murder."

301
00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:42,992
"I think he may be the real murderer."

302
00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:45,370
"Jim Halpert said there was
an abandoned infant"

303
00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:47,680
"in the woman's room.
When I went to save the child,"

304
00:15:47,704 --> 00:15:49,381
"I saw Meredith on the can."

305
00:15:50,343 --> 00:15:51,446
Gaaad.

306
00:15:52,877 --> 00:15:56,455
"This morning I knocked myself
in the head with the phone."

307
00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:00,197
That actually took a while.

308
00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:03,189
I had to put more an more
nickels into his handset,

309
00:16:03,599 --> 00:16:07,497
'till he got used to the weight,
and then I just...took 'em all out.

310
00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:11,227
"Everytime I typed my name
it said 'Diapers'."

311
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:14,993
Just a simple macro.

312
00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:19,337
You know, these actually don't
sound that funny one after another.

313
00:16:20,099 --> 00:16:21,765
But he does deserve it, though.

314
00:16:21,941 --> 00:16:23,020
"By the end of the day,"

315
00:16:23,055 --> 00:16:25,366
"my desk  was about
two feet closer to the copier."

316
00:16:26,849 --> 00:16:30,087
Yeah, I just moved it an inch every
time he went to the bathroom.

317
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,888
And that's how I spent
my entire day that day.

318
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,341
The Japanese have this thing
called shiatsu massage

319
00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:04,719
where they dig into
your body very hard.

320
00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:08,133
And it is very painful.
And apparently, some people throw up.

321
00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:10,867
But the next day they feel great.

322
00:17:11,653 --> 00:17:14,034
I've never had one.
They sound awful.

323
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,980
Maybe Stamford would be cool.

324
00:17:25,032 --> 00:17:26,815
It's a good market.

325
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,255
Higher volume.

326
00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:34,348
Maybe we should both go.

327
00:17:35,005 --> 00:17:36,448
I have a girlfriend.

328
00:17:36,648 --> 00:17:38,325
Sure you do, Dwight, sure.

329
00:17:38,571 --> 00:17:42,133
Hey, there's like, 300 more of these.

330
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:43,635
Let's get to them later.

331
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:45,383
So you're gonna transfer Jim or not ?

332
00:17:45,453 --> 00:17:47,389
Maybe, I haven't decided yet.

333
00:17:48,221 --> 00:17:50,458
- Let's get to work.
- I want an answer by tomorrow.

334
00:17:52,194 --> 00:17:55,009
Actually, tomorrow's not good.
How about later in the week ?

335
00:17:56,382 --> 00:17:57,625
Fine.

336
00:17:57,789 --> 00:17:58,806
Good. Okay.

337
00:18:04,577 --> 00:18:07,627
Wait. How about a group
picture while you're here ?

338
00:18:07,768 --> 00:18:09,895
I can't. I only get reimbursed
for the I.D. photos.

339
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:12,053
Well, that's, what,
a computer camera, right ?

340
00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:15,498
- You mean, digital ?
- Yeah, it'll take, like, two seconds.

341
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:17,715
20 bucks.

342
00:18:18,748 --> 00:18:22,267
All right. Everybody, come on.
Group photo for the newsletter.

343
00:18:22,748 --> 00:18:24,378
You gotta be kidding.

344
00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:26,701
Come on, everybody.
Come on, let's go. Creed, Kevin,

345
00:18:27,029 --> 00:18:28,908
Oscar, andale, let's go.

346
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,512
One, two, three, smile.

347
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,808
- Try to smile.
- We resolved a lot today, everybody.

348
00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:35,911
Think happy thoughts.

349
00:18:35,969 --> 00:18:38,828
Alright, I'm just gonna take it
on three whether you smile or not.

350
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,279
Good, let's check that out.

351
00:18:43,461 --> 00:18:45,526
All right. One more.
We'll take one more.

352
00:18:45,619 --> 00:18:47,195
- That'll be another 20.
- What ?

353
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,764
Angela, I want to talk to you
about something.

354
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:50,908
- What ?
- No, Pam, don't.

355
00:18:51,612 --> 00:18:53,789
- It's about the Save The Date.
- Pam it wasn't her.

356
00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:54,850
What ?

357
00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:57,743
I'm the one who complained
about you.

358
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:02,283
<i>Alright, come on, one more time!</i>

359
00:19:02,318 --> 00:19:04,418
I didn't know that Toby
was gonna write it down.

360
00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:07,591
I was just venting.
You know, it was one day.

361
00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:08,520
<i>That's terrible.</i>

362
00:19:08,999 --> 00:19:11,075
And I took it right back.
It was like...

363
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,294
<i>Let's pay Mr...</i>

364
00:19:14,329 --> 00:19:15,467
Oh, dear.

365
00:19:15,514 --> 00:19:16,851
<i>Price gouger.</i>

366
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,395
We can do this. Come on, everybody.

367
00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:27,334
All right. Here we go.

368
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,826
<i>It was really hard getting
a good picture of 15 people.</i>

369
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,642
<i>He would not give me a discount.</i>

370
00:19:34,035 --> 00:19:35,314
<i>And eight tries added up.</i>

371
00:19:35,677 --> 00:19:38,317
One, two...

372
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:39,938
Didn't say three, did I ?

373
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,554
<i>But I'm sort of an expert
at Photoshop.</i>

374
00:19:42,777 --> 00:19:44,489
<i>So it turned out fine in the end.</i>

375
00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:47,832
<i>When people work together
there is going to be conflict.</i>

376
00:19:47,879 --> 00:19:50,413
<i>You can't outrun your problems.</i>

377
00:19:51,031 --> 00:19:54,081
<i>Hey, Pam, it's Jim. I have
a doctor's appointment in the city.</i>

378
00:19:54,128 --> 00:19:56,333
<i>So I probably won't be in
'till the late afternoon.</i>

379
00:19:56,626 --> 00:19:58,562
<i>Just thought I'd let you know.
Okay, bye.</i>

380
00:19:59,594 --> 00:20:02,562
- Okay, Jan will see you now.
- Oh, thanks.

381
00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:07,852
<i>And that is why the idea of a cage
match is so universally appealing.</i>

382
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,633
<i>But here's the thing
about cage matches.</i>

383
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:14,065
<i>Sometimes you have to open the cage.</i>

384
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:19,074
<i>And that is something that
Toby will never understand.</i>