1 00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:14,212 - ? no no no no no no no no no ? 2 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:18,807 ? no no no no no no no no no no ? 3 00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:22,443 ? no no no no no no no no no no ? 4 00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:25,886 ? nobody can do shing-a-ling like I do ? 5 00:00:25,953 --> 00:00:28,790 ? nobody can do the skate like I do ? 6 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:31,995 ? nobody can to the boogaloo like I do ? 7 00:00:32,063 --> 00:00:35,198 ? nobody can do the Philly like I do ? 8 00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:38,002 ? well, don't you know I'm gonna skate, I do it ? 9 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,907 ? ain't nobody do it but me nobody but me ? 10 00:00:39,975 --> 00:00:41,542 - You're falling behind. 11 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:44,010 - ? well, I'm gonna Philly I do it ? 12 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,277 ? ain't nobody do it but me, babe ? 13 00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:48,312 ? nobody but me ? 14 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:50,245 - Wuphf.Com. - Ryan, we're doing... 15 00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:52,114 - This is how you build a business. 16 00:00:53,951 --> 00:00:56,486 ? let me tell you nobody nobody ? 17 00:00:56,554 --> 00:00:57,920 ? nobody, nobody ? 18 00:00:57,988 --> 00:00:59,485 ? nobody, nobody ? 19 00:00:59,553 --> 00:01:01,084 ? nobody, nobody ? 20 00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:02,652 ? nobody, nobody ? 21 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,187 ? nobody, nobody ? 22 00:01:04,254 --> 00:01:05,656 ? nobody, nobody ? 23 00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:07,692 ? nobody, nobody ? 24 00:01:16,569 --> 00:01:18,736 - You got creed. 25 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:21,406 - You make it so hard to love you sometimes. 26 00:01:21,473 --> 00:01:23,241 - You're behind. 27 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:26,244 - I said I didn't want to be on the Internet! 28 00:01:26,312 --> 00:01:29,348 - Go, go, go, go! 29 00:01:29,416 --> 00:01:32,285 - ? no no no no no no no no no ? 30 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:37,191 ? no no no no no no no no no no ? 31 00:01:37,258 --> 00:01:40,828 ? no no no no no no no no no no ? 32 00:01:40,895 --> 00:01:42,930 ? nobody can do ? Streamers! 33 00:01:42,998 --> 00:01:44,365 - ? like I do ? 34 00:01:49,807 --> 00:01:51,407 - Dwight! 35 00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:57,813 - ? nobody, nobody ? 36 00:01:57,881 --> 00:02:01,317 ? nobody, nobody ? 37 00:02:01,384 --> 00:02:04,218 ? nobody, nobody ? 38 00:02:04,286 --> 00:02:07,287 ? nobody, nobody ? 39 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:10,490 ? nobody, nobody ? 40 00:02:10,558 --> 00:02:13,994 ? nobody, nobody ? 41 00:02:15,129 --> 00:02:16,997 - Toby, how did we do? 42 00:02:17,065 --> 00:02:18,565 - Well, that was better. 43 00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:19,900 - Whoo! We did it! 44 00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:23,838 Yes! 45 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:35,214 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 46 00:03:01,566 --> 00:03:05,035 - I suppose summer had to end sometime. 47 00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:08,271 It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. 48 00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:11,206 I got West Nile virus. Lost a ton of weight. 49 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,208 Then I went back to the Lake. 50 00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:16,643 I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, 51 00:03:16,711 --> 00:03:18,076 Which hurt. 52 00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:21,644 That got infected, even though I peed on it. 53 00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:24,914 - Saw inception. 54 00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:28,317 Or at least I dreamt I did. 55 00:03:28,384 --> 00:03:29,952 - Broccoli Rob, obviously, 56 00:03:30,019 --> 00:03:31,853 Will be there. - Yes, of course. 57 00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:34,155 - And j.C. We call him Blorville 58 00:03:34,223 --> 00:03:37,024 Because he looks like a black Orville Redenbacher. 59 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,859 - Who's the guy who invented the peanut? 60 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,562 - Hey, guys. - Hey! 61 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:42,897 - Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. 62 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:43,898 - Not at all. 63 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:44,899 - I'm gonna head back 64 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,234 To Siberia there. 65 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:48,135 - Aw. - Ciao. 66 00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:53,372 I started dating Erin this summer. 67 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,542 It has been, in a word, exquisite. 68 00:03:57,610 --> 00:03:59,010 - Gabe is awesome. 69 00:03:59,078 --> 00:04:04,448 He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. 70 00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:06,850 Thank God he's my boss because 71 00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:08,785 I would not have said yes to a first date 72 00:04:08,853 --> 00:04:10,153 If I didn't have to. 73 00:04:10,221 --> 00:04:12,989 But...It's been great. 74 00:04:13,056 --> 00:04:15,224 - Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend 75 00:04:15,292 --> 00:04:16,258 Over the summer? 76 00:04:16,326 --> 00:04:17,659 No. 77 00:04:17,726 --> 00:04:20,828 I've been through anger management, okay? 78 00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:24,697 So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, 79 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:28,500 Gazing out across the whitecaps. 80 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,136 Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. 81 00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:34,505 How pretty. 82 00:04:34,573 --> 00:04:37,641 He's eating Gabe. 83 00:04:40,744 --> 00:04:42,545 - Hey. 84 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:44,447 What are you doing? 85 00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:46,750 - From now on, if you're hot, sit on an ice pack. 86 00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:48,251 - Well, what if you're cold? 87 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:51,620 - Pbbbt! Like you'd ever be cold, Kevin. 88 00:04:51,688 --> 00:04:53,122 Stop asking me hypothetical questions. 89 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,957 I'm too busy. 90 00:04:55,025 --> 00:04:56,325 - Hey, Dwight, I don't know if you heard, 91 00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:58,027 But we're supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks 92 00:04:58,094 --> 00:04:59,495 Instead of cups, like regular people. 93 00:04:59,563 --> 00:05:00,529 Oh, you did hear. 94 00:05:00,596 --> 00:05:02,763 - Jim, you have one job to do, 95 00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,131 And you do it forgettably. 96 00:05:04,198 --> 00:05:06,732 Those of us who are busy require hands-free hydration. 97 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,468 Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer. 98 00:05:09,535 --> 00:05:10,969 Bed and breakfast proprietor. 99 00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,737 Aspiring freelance bodyguard. 100 00:05:12,804 --> 00:05:16,673 Add to that list owner of this building. 101 00:05:16,741 --> 00:05:20,876 Then burn the list. 102 00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:22,644 - This summer I did the minority 103 00:05:22,712 --> 00:05:24,746 Executive training program at Yale. 104 00:05:24,814 --> 00:05:26,514 You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. 105 00:05:26,582 --> 00:05:28,249 You don't even know. You could ask me, 106 00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:30,350 "Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?" 107 00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:32,485 And I'd be, like, "blah blah blah, 108 00:05:32,553 --> 00:05:34,086 Blah blah blah blah blah blah," 109 00:05:34,154 --> 00:05:36,655 Giving you the exact right answer. 110 00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:38,156 - Coffee monkey's arrived. 111 00:05:38,224 --> 00:05:40,759 - The coffee was supposed to be here at 9:00. 112 00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:43,028 - Here you go, big "o." 113 00:05:44,863 --> 00:05:47,297 Tiny... 114 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,466 Darryl Hannah. 115 00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:53,635 - It says "decaf." you get me decaf? 116 00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:56,170 - Ooh, yeah. 117 00:05:56,238 --> 00:05:59,940 Must have been some sort of mix-up there. 118 00:06:00,008 --> 00:06:01,341 You could just drink it, 119 00:06:01,409 --> 00:06:03,644 Or should I drive all the way back? 120 00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:09,849 - Well, summer, I, um, 121 00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:11,683 Blew out my knee playing softball. 122 00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:14,018 Ended up watching CNN most of the time. 123 00:06:14,086 --> 00:06:20,928 I don't know how we're gonna get out of Afghanistan. 124 00:06:20,996 --> 00:06:23,676 - The new guy sucks. Calls me "the nard man." 125 00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:25,341 I'm the "nard dog," okay? 126 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:27,236 Nard man is my father. 127 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,231 - My name is Luke Cooper. 128 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:31,160 I love cinema. 129 00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:32,988 My favorite movies are citizen Kane 130 00:06:33,056 --> 00:06:34,884 And the boondock saints. 131 00:06:34,952 --> 00:06:39,008 - That kid is the worst. Needs to be fired, Michael. 132 00:06:39,076 --> 00:06:41,901 - He's not the worst. Okay? He's not the worst. 133 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:42,932 You know who's the worst? 134 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,627 That intern we had a few years ago. 135 00:06:44,694 --> 00:06:46,325 That guy... remember? 136 00:06:46,393 --> 00:06:48,651 Eehhhhh! That face, how ugly he was? 137 00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:51,313 He was the worst. Good worker, though. 138 00:06:51,381 --> 00:06:54,339 Mm... aw, it's not cappuccino. 139 00:06:54,407 --> 00:06:56,701 - He messed yours up to. - He's got to go, Mike. 140 00:06:56,768 --> 00:06:58,400 - It's just coffee, guys. 141 00:06:58,464 --> 00:07:00,592 But yeah, I'll look into it, okay? 142 00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:05,016 - Wow, that's a lot of keys. 143 00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:07,642 - The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man. 144 00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:09,504 - That's right. The janitor said that. 145 00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:10,936 By the way, the raccoons are back. 146 00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,034 - Where? 147 00:07:12,101 --> 00:07:13,829 - I think they run through these panels 148 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:15,160 And then down under the map. 149 00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,325 I wouldn't know for sure 150 00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:17,521 'cause I don't have a trained ear. 151 00:07:17,589 --> 00:07:20,185 That's why I have to use one of these. 152 00:07:20,253 --> 00:07:21,914 - Gimme that. - Yep. 153 00:07:21,981 --> 00:07:23,876 Wait. And this. 154 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,138 - Yes. - Go get 'em. 155 00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:27,700 What happened to me this summer? 156 00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:31,160 Dwight bought the building, so actually, this has been 157 00:07:31,228 --> 00:07:33,155 The busiest summer of my life. 158 00:07:46,225 --> 00:07:49,581 - Hey, what's so funny over here? 159 00:07:49,649 --> 00:07:52,942 Ha, very nice. Give me my keys. 160 00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,918 Not...Funny...Jim! 161 00:08:05,345 --> 00:08:06,441 - Sorry. 162 00:08:06,509 --> 00:08:07,739 - Oh, no. Don't worry about it. 163 00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:09,366 I'm just gonna put a couple keys on every day 164 00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:10,697 Until Christmas. 165 00:08:10,765 --> 00:08:12,525 Then his pants would have fallen down, which was... 166 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,790 A little gift to me, but... 167 00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:15,251 - It was really funny. 168 00:08:15,318 --> 00:08:17,913 - Well, it would have been. 169 00:08:17,981 --> 00:08:19,508 So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert. 170 00:08:21,871 --> 00:08:23,398 - I love you. 171 00:08:25,728 --> 00:08:27,822 - Luke... 172 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,751 Luke! 173 00:08:29,818 --> 00:08:31,082 - What's up, Venus? 174 00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:33,108 - Did you send those samples to Justin 175 00:08:33,175 --> 00:08:34,239 At Lehigh motors yesterday? 176 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,670 Because he didn't get 'em. 177 00:08:35,738 --> 00:08:39,126 - Uh, if you asked me to do it, I'm sure I did it. 178 00:08:40,859 --> 00:08:41,955 Yeah, strawberries are ripe. 179 00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:43,283 - Hey... 180 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:46,375 Turn off the chumbawamba and scram, twerp. 181 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,573 - You don't have to yell. 182 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,636 - Okay, rude. 183 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,764 Luke... 184 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,523 I want you to go to the supermarket for me. 185 00:08:54,591 --> 00:08:55,788 - What for? 186 00:08:55,855 --> 00:08:57,416 - To get some ice cream for everybody. 187 00:08:57,484 --> 00:09:00,376 It's national ice cream afternoon. 188 00:09:00,444 --> 00:09:02,706 Great. 189 00:09:02,773 --> 00:09:05,799 And another thing I did this summer. 190 00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:08,859 I hired my nephew. 191 00:09:12,713 --> 00:09:13,914 - Having Luke here is a pretty big deal for me. 192 00:09:13,981 --> 00:09:15,748 Because his mother, 193 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,884 Who also happens to be my half sister... 194 00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:20,952 Kind of cut me off from that side of the family 195 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,720 15 years a... 196 00:09:22,787 --> 00:09:24,421 14. 197 00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:26,422 The last time I saw Luke 198 00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:28,524 Was the opening day of ace Ventura II, 199 00:09:28,592 --> 00:09:30,092 And that was '95. 200 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:35,699 So, yes, 15 years on the dot. 201 00:09:35,766 --> 00:09:38,635 Anyway, I lost him in a forest. 202 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,771 Don't bother Luke. 203 00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,840 - Why is there a circle with a line through it? 204 00:09:42,907 --> 00:09:44,141 - That means don't. 205 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,776 Haven't you seen ghostbusters, Pam? 206 00:09:45,844 --> 00:09:48,746 - Yeah, but it's like you're saying we should bother Luke. 207 00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:51,182 - No, it... 208 00:09:51,249 --> 00:09:52,917 Yes, okay. Right. 209 00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:54,918 All right, yep. My bad. 210 00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:57,154 I got it. 211 00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:00,457 Here we go. 212 00:10:00,524 --> 00:10:02,092 - Don't don't bother Luke. 213 00:10:02,159 --> 00:10:03,126 Got it. 214 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,229 Come on. Okay. Um... 215 00:10:10,164 --> 00:10:12,365 That's as clear as I can make it. 216 00:10:12,432 --> 00:10:13,432 - Hey, why can't we bother Luke? 217 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,034 He deserves it. 218 00:10:15,101 --> 00:10:16,101 - Because I don't want it getting back to sabre 219 00:10:16,168 --> 00:10:17,268 That we're yelling at assistants. 220 00:10:17,335 --> 00:10:18,802 I think it would reflect poorly on us. 221 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,703 - Who's gonna tell on us? Gabe? 222 00:10:21,805 --> 00:10:23,273 - That'd be hilarious. 223 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,108 Uh, "Joe, they're creating a hostile work environment. 224 00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:26,810 Stop 'em." 225 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,011 - Nope, it won't be Gabe, 226 00:10:28,079 --> 00:10:29,847 But actually, there is somebody in the office 227 00:10:29,914 --> 00:10:31,315 Who is very, very close to Luke. 228 00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:32,683 - How close? 229 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:33,717 - Well, Dwight, he wiped his butt. 230 00:10:33,785 --> 00:10:35,351 Is that close enough for you? 231 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,385 - Yes. Of course. 232 00:10:38,453 --> 00:10:41,154 - Guys, I think Michael and Luke are related. 233 00:10:41,222 --> 00:10:42,155 - No. 234 00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:45,157 No, Toby. He's not. 235 00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:46,192 Yes, he is. 236 00:10:46,259 --> 00:10:47,659 He's my nephew. 237 00:10:47,727 --> 00:10:49,127 - What? - Ohh! 238 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:50,562 - Luke is my nephew. 239 00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:51,830 - Michael, that's nepotism. 240 00:10:51,898 --> 00:10:52,864 Luke is getting special treatment 241 00:10:52,932 --> 00:10:54,032 Because he's your nephew. 242 00:10:54,099 --> 00:10:55,299 - Yes, exactly. 243 00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,134 That is a very nice way of putting it, Oscar. 244 00:10:57,202 --> 00:11:01,037 Mixing family and business is a beautiful thing. 245 00:11:01,104 --> 00:11:02,838 - What's wrong with a level playing field? 246 00:11:02,906 --> 00:11:05,274 - Do think they should have had open auditions 247 00:11:05,341 --> 00:11:06,842 For the band Hanson? 248 00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:09,711 What if no one named Hanson showed up? 249 00:11:09,778 --> 00:11:11,079 That wouldn't even make sense. 250 00:11:11,147 --> 00:11:14,081 Or what if they just hired the littlest kid 251 00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:19,319 And a 50-year-old guy who was a murderer? 252 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,420 Really safe. 253 00:11:20,488 --> 00:11:22,855 - Oh, man, so many points being made. 254 00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,823 - I couldn't care less about nepotism. 255 00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:27,292 But I'm loving the debate. 256 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,294 Great minds battling it out. 257 00:11:29,362 --> 00:11:31,496 And I've got a front row seat. 258 00:11:31,563 --> 00:11:33,731 - God, when he needed help on earth, 259 00:11:33,799 --> 00:11:34,732 Who did he hire? 260 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,233 Jesus Christ, his son. 261 00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:37,669 - That's a really tight argument. 262 00:11:37,737 --> 00:11:39,070 - Thank you. - Yeah. 263 00:11:39,138 --> 00:11:41,505 - But you're comparing you and Luke to God and Jesus. 264 00:11:41,573 --> 00:11:42,873 - No! No. 265 00:11:42,941 --> 00:11:44,041 I'm just saying, why does God 266 00:11:44,109 --> 00:11:45,508 Get to do something that I don't? 267 00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:47,077 - This is hypothetical. 268 00:11:47,144 --> 00:11:49,546 We're talking about Luke, who happens to be terrible. 269 00:11:49,613 --> 00:11:50,780 - Well, then, why aren't you bugging me 270 00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:52,014 To fire everybody who's bad? 271 00:11:52,082 --> 00:11:53,482 You just want me to fire Luke. 272 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:54,850 That's reverse nepotism. 273 00:11:54,918 --> 00:11:58,087 He should not be punished because he is related to me 274 00:11:58,154 --> 00:11:59,521 And bad at what he does! 275 00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:00,922 - I would just like to say something 276 00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:03,124 Off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. 277 00:12:03,191 --> 00:12:06,225 That is actually a zoning issue. 278 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:11,563 So thank you. 279 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,598 - If there's nothing wrong with this, Michael, 280 00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:14,966 Why have you been keeping it a secret? 281 00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:17,535 - Because I wanted you to come to me and say, 282 00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,469 "wow, he is so great." 283 00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:21,938 And I was gonna say, "well, it's in the genes." 284 00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:24,440 And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans. 285 00:12:24,508 --> 00:12:25,974 And I'd point to them... right? No. 286 00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:27,209 But you ruined it. 287 00:12:27,277 --> 00:12:29,111 So...Thank you very much. 288 00:12:29,179 --> 00:12:31,613 Here he comes. Guys, look. 289 00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:34,282 I don't want you to treat him 290 00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:35,817 Like anyone else in the office. 291 00:12:35,884 --> 00:12:38,152 I just want you to treat him like my nephew. 292 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:39,453 Hey, there he is! 293 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,287 - Hey! Ice cream afternoon! 294 00:12:41,355 --> 00:12:42,788 - Whoo Whoo Whoo! - Whoo! 295 00:12:42,856 --> 00:12:44,757 - Wait... 296 00:12:44,825 --> 00:12:45,957 Soy ice cream? 297 00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:47,992 Did you get real ice cream? 298 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,393 - Or enough for everyone? 299 00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:51,094 - No, man. There was no list. 300 00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:53,230 Uh...But I got bagel chips. 301 00:12:53,297 --> 00:12:54,998 - Ah, my favorite part of an ice cream party. 302 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,966 The bagel chips. 303 00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:58,668 - Clutch cream run, bro. 304 00:13:02,873 --> 00:13:04,440 - Get whatever you want. On me. 305 00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:07,008 - You really think you can make it up to me with food? 306 00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:08,809 - I don't know. That usually works. 307 00:13:08,877 --> 00:13:11,911 I feel horrible for blowing Jim's prank. 308 00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:14,247 I don't know if you can tell, but he's mildly upset. 309 00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:16,315 And Dwight hasn't been messed with in a while, 310 00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:18,350 So he's become a monster. 311 00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:20,185 I need to make this right. 312 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:30,527 - I came down here to feed the feral cats 313 00:13:30,594 --> 00:13:31,828 Like I usually do, 314 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:32,995 And I found something unsavory 315 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,196 In the back of your nephew's car. 316 00:13:34,263 --> 00:13:35,197 - Okay, you know what? 317 00:13:35,264 --> 00:13:36,264 Just... just back off. 318 00:13:36,331 --> 00:13:37,332 Back off! 319 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,766 - Well, take a look. 320 00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:40,501 It's all the packages he was supposed to overnight. 321 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,636 He never bothered to send them. 322 00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:45,805 - All right, those might be his. 323 00:13:45,873 --> 00:13:47,273 He might own an ebay store. 324 00:13:47,341 --> 00:13:49,474 - Yep. That's exactly what my first thought was. 325 00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:50,809 And then I remembered having a conversation with him 326 00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:52,210 Where he was like, "I don't own an ebay store." 327 00:13:52,277 --> 00:13:53,811 So... - Okay, okay. 328 00:13:53,878 --> 00:13:54,845 You know what? This is disgusting. 329 00:13:54,913 --> 00:13:56,345 This is like a witch hunt. 330 00:13:56,413 --> 00:13:58,480 This is like the Blair witch hunt project. 331 00:13:58,548 --> 00:14:00,015 - Oh, sure, those are the expense reports 332 00:14:00,082 --> 00:14:01,882 That corporate was waiting for yesterday. 333 00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:04,218 - Let's just make this kid open this damn car. 334 00:14:04,286 --> 00:14:05,286 - Oh, my gosh, those are the pants 335 00:14:05,354 --> 00:14:06,521 He wanted to return to talbots. 336 00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:08,657 - I'm reconsidering sending him back anyway. 337 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:11,192 - You get that kid to open this car, 338 00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:13,127 Or I'm gonna do it myself... 339 00:14:13,195 --> 00:14:14,796 by calling AAA. 340 00:14:14,863 --> 00:14:16,231 - Wait a minute. - I'm in! 341 00:14:16,298 --> 00:14:18,132 - Don't... all right. 342 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,201 Well, okay. 343 00:14:20,269 --> 00:14:22,303 You've just committed a felony. 344 00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:23,337 - Yep, here they are. 345 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,872 - Yep, I just lost a client 346 00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:27,007 'cause I swore I sent these samples on time. 347 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,208 - This kid's costing us sales, Michael. 348 00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:31,877 - I'm sorry, do you want to try them on again to see... 349 00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,044 - No, I know they fit. 350 00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:34,612 It's not about the fit. 351 00:14:38,286 --> 00:14:39,719 - Why is this my problem, Michael? 352 00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,454 - Because Gabe tattled. 353 00:14:41,521 --> 00:14:42,454 I was perfectly happy 354 00:14:42,522 --> 00:14:43,955 To just hide it from you. 355 00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:45,823 - Those overnight packages needed to go out, 356 00:14:45,891 --> 00:14:47,824 And Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable. 357 00:14:47,892 --> 00:14:49,325 - Lower yourself, Gabe. 358 00:14:49,393 --> 00:14:52,062 I don't wanna be having a conversation with your crotch. 359 00:14:54,399 --> 00:14:57,034 Okay, now educate me why you won't fire the boy. 360 00:14:57,102 --> 00:14:58,668 - You don't have all the facts. 361 00:14:58,736 --> 00:15:01,204 - Which are? - I love him. 362 00:15:01,272 --> 00:15:03,572 - Oh, God. 363 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,007 How far has it gone? 364 00:15:06,075 --> 00:15:07,241 - No. No. 365 00:15:07,309 --> 00:15:08,609 He's my nephew. 366 00:15:08,677 --> 00:15:09,743 - Well, I got a nephew too. 367 00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:11,478 But he don't work for me. 368 00:15:11,546 --> 00:15:12,479 You know why? 369 00:15:12,547 --> 00:15:14,181 'cause he's a screw-up. 370 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,749 He can swim in my pool, but he can't come in my house. 371 00:15:16,817 --> 00:15:19,085 - Well, this office is my pool. 372 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,519 And my house is my house. 373 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,955 And I just want my nephew to work 374 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,023 In my pool. 375 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,457 - If you keep him, Michael, 376 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:27,091 I'm gonna hold you accountable for him. 377 00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,292 You're on the hook for this kid. 378 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,527 You got that? - Mm-hmm. 379 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,529 - Cover his ass like tidy whities. 380 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,599 - I will cover his ass like moss on Mississippi tree stump. 381 00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:36,732 - Was how I put it on clear enough? 382 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,934 I mean, you had to go and make up your own saying? 383 00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:41,403 Deal with it, boys. 384 00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:46,499 - Luke and I have been working side by side 385 00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:48,631 As master and commander. 386 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,298 Me as master, he as commander. 387 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,265 Occasionally, he'll need a little push. 388 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:55,402 And I will do that, and he'll slow down, 389 00:15:55,469 --> 00:15:56,900 And then I'll push him again. 390 00:15:56,968 --> 00:15:58,000 That's the thing with kids. 391 00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,300 You have to keep pushing. 392 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,166 You have to push them until they push you back. 393 00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:02,899 And then you push some more. 394 00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:04,133 It's all about give and take, 395 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,833 But mostly it's about pushing each other. 396 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,999 - Oh, yeah. 397 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,765 This will be easy. 398 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:13,332 So just, like, rearrange the buttons and stuff. 399 00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:14,398 - Yeah, yeah. 400 00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:15,663 Like when he presses "door closed," 401 00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:16,863 The doors open. 402 00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:18,063 Or he presses "lobby," it goes to third floor. 403 00:16:18,130 --> 00:16:19,495 Stuff like that. Can you do that? 404 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,828 - Yeah. Let me take a look at the circus board. 405 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:26,726 - Dwight is about to get so pammed. 406 00:16:26,794 --> 00:16:28,926 - Hey, did you sms text message me? 407 00:16:28,994 --> 00:16:30,726 - Yeah, I wanted to show you something in the lobby. 408 00:16:30,794 --> 00:16:32,625 Uh, come on. 409 00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:39,390 - Okay, that's weird. - Hmm. 410 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,089 - Just hitting "door closed." what? 411 00:16:41,157 --> 00:16:42,588 - There we go. - Well... 412 00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:44,553 - Uh... - is this elevator going up? 413 00:16:44,621 --> 00:16:45,687 - Mm-hmm. 414 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:49,652 - Hey...The elevator is disobeying us! 415 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,318 Ohh-Kay. Okay. 416 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,952 We are stuck. We are stuck. 417 00:16:54,019 --> 00:16:55,450 - Um... - Hank! Hank! 418 00:16:55,518 --> 00:16:57,251 Can you hear us? 419 00:16:57,319 --> 00:16:58,284 Oh, my God. Okay. 420 00:16:58,352 --> 00:16:59,983 Emergency protocol. 421 00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:01,283 - Oh... - Just calm down. 422 00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:03,815 - Pam, try and pry open those front doors, immediately. 423 00:17:03,882 --> 00:17:05,781 - I don't... - use your talons! 424 00:17:05,849 --> 00:17:06,881 Pry 'em open! 425 00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,747 Okay, DWI... oh, my God! 426 00:17:08,815 --> 00:17:10,147 - Well, don't look, freak! 427 00:17:10,215 --> 00:17:11,379 - Dwight, what are you doing?! 428 00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:12,712 - Well... 429 00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,146 - We've only been in here for, like, two seconds! 430 00:17:14,214 --> 00:17:15,678 - I got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder! 431 00:17:15,746 --> 00:17:18,077 And we have to establish a pee corner. 432 00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:20,244 - You've gotta be kidding me. 433 00:17:20,311 --> 00:17:22,376 - Luke, is going to use his laser pointer 434 00:17:22,443 --> 00:17:24,642 To point to account setup. 435 00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:25,875 You click on that first, 436 00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:27,641 Then a whole new... not... no, no, no. 437 00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,141 Luke, come on. Come on. 438 00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:30,539 Not on Oscar's head. 439 00:17:30,607 --> 00:17:32,207 - Tsh. - All right. 440 00:17:32,274 --> 00:17:33,572 Luke, come on. 441 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,905 Stop it. - What? I'm stopping it. 442 00:17:34,973 --> 00:17:35,971 That's what you said. 443 00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,038 - Give me the pointer. 444 00:17:38,105 --> 00:17:39,138 - So you just want me to move it. 445 00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:40,638 You're being totally unclear here. 446 00:17:40,705 --> 00:17:42,105 I'm just gonna go ahead and move it. 447 00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,471 - No, just power it down. No, no, no, no, no. 448 00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:45,205 Not on Angela's boob. Come on. Come on. 449 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,370 Luke, seriously. - All right, fine, fine. 450 00:17:47,438 --> 00:17:49,237 I'll just go. - Okay. 451 00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:51,370 - I'm gone. - All right. Okay. 452 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,803 Good job. 453 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,635 Okay, email accounts. 454 00:17:54,703 --> 00:17:55,868 So we're starting with account setup. 455 00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,934 - Oh, my God, is it in my eyeball? 456 00:17:58,001 --> 00:17:59,698 - Yes. - I think he's burning my eye. 457 00:17:59,766 --> 00:18:01,097 - Michael, do something. 458 00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:02,297 - Sack up, man. 459 00:18:02,364 --> 00:18:04,040 - Okay, can I have that? - No. 460 00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:07,251 - Okay, I am going to count down from five. 461 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:08,418 Five 462 00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:09,452 Four. 463 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,987 - I'm not kidding. 464 00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:12,123 Three. 465 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,593 Two. One. - Give... okay. 466 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,394 - All right, give it up. - No! 467 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:20,331 You...Are going to learn to be more professional, Luke! 468 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,599 - What the... 469 00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,000 - That's what you're going to do, Luke! 470 00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,501 - Aah! What the hell was that? 471 00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:27,403 - I had to do that. 472 00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:30,939 - Hey, fuck this! 473 00:18:31,007 --> 00:18:32,507 Screw it! - All right. Are we good? 474 00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:36,676 - You're okay. 475 00:18:36,744 --> 00:18:38,845 He's okay. 476 00:18:41,047 --> 00:18:42,781 There are many different schools of thought 477 00:18:42,848 --> 00:18:45,447 On capital punishment. 478 00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,249 - That was awesome. 479 00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:49,517 - Texas justice. 480 00:18:49,585 --> 00:18:51,685 - Yeah, your nephew is so lame. 481 00:18:51,753 --> 00:18:54,385 - He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. 482 00:18:54,453 --> 00:18:56,787 Yeah, it's funny stuff, but mean. 483 00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:59,122 - You follow him on Twitter? 484 00:18:59,189 --> 00:19:00,589 - Everywhere I look, it's Betty white this 485 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:01,957 And Betty white that. 486 00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:04,726 Finally, a kid who's not talking about Betty white. 487 00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:06,461 Of course I follow him. 488 00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:07,629 - Michael... 489 00:19:07,697 --> 00:19:09,731 You just physically assaulted an employee. 490 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:11,299 Can we talk in private? 491 00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,867 Yes, of course. 492 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,403 What is this in reference to? 493 00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:19,006 - Pam? 494 00:19:19,073 --> 00:19:20,841 - Oh, hey, Jim. 495 00:19:20,908 --> 00:19:23,944 Some prankster switched the elevator buttons on Dwight. 496 00:19:24,012 --> 00:19:25,378 - I did not do this. 497 00:19:25,446 --> 00:19:26,680 - I know. 498 00:19:30,218 --> 00:19:32,785 Yeah, and it was going really great at first. 499 00:19:32,853 --> 00:19:34,620 I got video. 500 00:19:34,688 --> 00:19:36,055 - This is impressive. 501 00:19:36,123 --> 00:19:37,690 - Well, you know... They don't call me 502 00:19:37,757 --> 00:19:39,557 The Bart Simpson of Scranton for nothing. 503 00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:42,461 - Do they call you that? - They do call me that. 504 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:43,462 - Come on, give me your hand. 505 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,030 I'll help you down. - Nope. 506 00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:46,231 Scared of getting cut in half. 507 00:19:46,299 --> 00:19:47,565 Also, there's pee on the floor. 508 00:19:47,633 --> 00:19:50,401 - Oh! Course there is. 509 00:19:50,469 --> 00:19:51,735 Hey, Chinese tonight? 510 00:19:51,803 --> 00:19:53,469 - Yeah. - Great. 511 00:19:53,537 --> 00:19:55,505 - How ya doin'? 512 00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:57,040 - Pretty good. 513 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,341 You must be almost out of water. 514 00:19:58,408 --> 00:20:01,409 - Stop drinking the water! 515 00:20:01,477 --> 00:20:03,611 Stop! 516 00:20:03,679 --> 00:20:04,612 - Yeah. 517 00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:06,647 - Oh! - You... 518 00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,348 - No, no, no, no. It's the other hand, right hand. 519 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,516 - Right hand? - Yeah. 520 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,884 - Would have been nice to work with my family. 521 00:20:10,951 --> 00:20:12,785 It would have been nice 522 00:20:12,853 --> 00:20:15,487 If Luke had been able to stay here. 523 00:20:15,555 --> 00:20:16,522 But he couldn't. 524 00:20:16,589 --> 00:20:18,891 These things seldom work out. 525 00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:21,227 I don't know how Ringling brothers do it. 526 00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:22,862 Night after night, town after town, 527 00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:24,362 All across America. 528 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,297 You would think they'd be sick of each other by now. 529 00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:28,532 But, clearly, 530 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,867 They make it work. 531 00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:31,368 And my hat's off to them. 532 00:20:33,203 --> 00:20:34,804 - Argh! - Whoa! Whoa! Hey. Whoa. 533 00:20:34,872 --> 00:20:36,239 - You... - hey... 534 00:20:36,307 --> 00:20:37,907 - Dwight... - Dwight... 535 00:20:39,876 --> 00:20:41,043 - Stop! 536 00:20:43,146 --> 00:20:44,578 - Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit 537 00:20:44,646 --> 00:20:46,745 Is to call this a stress-induced outburst. 538 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,116 - You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling. 539 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:54,018 - That's it? Really? 540 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,120 That's nothing. All right. 541 00:20:56,187 --> 00:20:57,554 That's highway robbery. 542 00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,088 Good. 543 00:20:58,089 --> 00:20:59,089 Well, thats the spirit. 544 00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:00,090 I can do that. 545 00:21:00,091 --> 00:21:02,684 And you will do your counseling right here 546 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,080 because 547 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,768 Okay. Wait, what? 548 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,576 Yeah, I'm really looking forward to work with you, Michael. 549 00:21:13,984 --> 00:21:15,344 Is there another option? 550 00:21:16,488 --> 00:21:18,480 Don't try to do this termination. 551 00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:25,448 Michael? 552 00:21:26,224 --> 00:21:28,712 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com